The Handcuff Bracelet
by Lykosdracos
Summary: Having escaped to Forks, will Bella find solace in dark Edward Cullen? How hard will Edward have to fight to keep that which he longs to claim? Rated MA for lemons, language, drug and alcohol content. Tattoos with meaning, leather worn well- enjoy!
1. Get Your Body Beat

******Chapter 1  
- Cool To Hate**

******Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters/plot do not belong to me.

******Playlist****  
listen grooveshark com/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
********Cool To Hate****- **Offspring  
******Shut Me Up****-** Mindless Self Indulgence  
******Harder Than a Coffin Nail****- **Papa Roach  
******Inside of You**- Hoobastank  
******Get Your Body Beat**- Combichrist

******Edward's Point Of View**

It was my first day back at school and I was already bored beyond comprehension. There were no challenges left. I was a senior, grades didn't really matter provided I stayed above the C-line. I'd had my pick of the girls, not that there was a great selection. All of them fell short of my expectations. I ignored the vacuous stares as I vacated my silver Volvo. The women I could understand, but why boys like Newton continued to gape, I had no clue. One would think they'd be used to me and my car. Everyone in small-town Forks took things too seriously.

"Edward, my man! What's up?"

"Ben." I flicked a glance in his direction.

I wasn't the new kid anymore and hadn't been for a very long time. I didn't have to play nice with the locals anymore. While I couldn't bring myself to be a complete dick, like a certain role-model that came to mind, I certainly didn't want Ben latched to my ankle for the year.

"We're seniors, yeah, yeah!" I ducked to the side, narrowing my eyes in warning as he pumped his fist into the air.

I snorted and continued walking. His blatant abuse of the English language was too harsh a blow so early, especially without my usual calming remedy at hand. It was possible to be a stoner, and also be a functional human being. I was living proof of that. Sometimes it was the only way I got through the day. With everyone talking about their 'bff's' and wrapping themselves in bubbles of idiocy, I had to numb out to make it through the school year.

"Morning!" Alice was the only person to receive one of my real smiles. I couldn't help it around her. She had seen me at every emotional point on the scale. There was no use trying to hide things from her.

"I'm glad for you." I took the slip of paper she placed into my hand.

"It'll be a great morning for you, too," she smiled secretively.

"Eternal optimist," I muttered affectionately.

Carlisle, a premiere New York surgeon, and his wife, Esme, a well-known interior decorator, had adopted us together, though Alice and I weren't blood-related. They had given us a stable home, a fridge that always had food in it, cars, and anything else they thought we needed. They were our guardians in every sense of the word. Esme offered encouragement, praise, and warm cookies on cold days. I still felt stunned when we come home to freshly baked goods waiting on the counter.

When my inheritance hit, I made it clear that while I appreciated everything they'd done, I didn't want them to shoulder the burden of footing our entire bill. I knew what it was to support someone else, and that it had been exhausting. Carlise protested, but I insisted. In the end, he tapped out. I knew he did it to have me feel like a contributing member of the family, which, they had hoped, would bring me emotionally closer to them. It did.

They relocated us from New York to Washington for our high-school years. Forks was a small town. Esme said she had always wanted to retire in a nice country cabin. It amused me when she apologized for having to 'downsize.' Living in New York hadn't been... safe. I had gained a reputation in that area, though that had been done before we were adopted. Trouble found me a lot, and when Carlisle and Esme said that we were moving to a 'safer' place, I certainly didn't complain. I had lived in a lot of places.

They seemed to like the fast-paced, yet not frantic pace of Forks Medical Hospital. Carlisle liked that sleep was possible to find and family time didn't require an entire schedule rearrangement. Forks was very happy to have them both. Esme had started studying for the medical exam after she and Carlisle had gotten married. Many years later, they remained close despite sharing the same work and living quarters.

Whether I would pursue his career within the medical field was still unknown. I didn't know how to tell them, but I was still surprised by having options. I could remember a time where things had been do or die, black and white, survive or crumble. Though a lot of time had passed since I'd needed to physically defend myself, or Alice, the feeling stayed with me. The surprise was welcome, however. It made me value the small gestures without becoming too adjusted. The day I accepted what they offered us without a thank-you would be the day I rearranged my priorities. Again.

"You're grumpy in the morning," Alice bounced on tip-toe. I knew the warning signs. She had something that she was desperate to share. Despite her following of friends, I was still the first person she'd hunt down when there was helpful information to disclose.

"You have news?" I knew it was killing her to keep her excitement contained. She'd start jumping around in a second.

"Yes…" she drew the word out while smiling mischievously. I could see her taking stock of everyone who looked in our direction.

"Alice, if you have any love for me at all, you'll tell me now. There's no need for the public spectacle."

Since I hadn't gone out of my way to make friends, Alice was determined to make me appear more approachable. If I wouldn't go to them, she wanted to make sure they could come to me. Three years had gone by and she was still trying. It had only worked, our first year, due to manipulation on her part. When I realized that my glaring and stoic expressions were preventing people from getting to know us, either of us, I'd done my best to tone things down. Alice was more social than I'd ever be. Her attempts at friendship had been rebuffed, which pissed me off. It made me furious when I learned that they were judging her based upon my behavior.

I considered her my sister in every way that counted. We were both foreigners to the tight-knit student population. Forks was a small town, most of the students had known one another for years. We were pretty well-off financially, which separated us from the crowd even more. I did my part. I made short conversation with a few select people. I'd chosen based on their rank within their absurd student hierarchy. I had flirted with Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory; I seriously regretted the decision despite having gotten what I wanted. They didn't interest me at all physically, but they were influential people among their peers.

In old schools, a few well-placed punches and well-delivered threats had bought us respect. In a school like Forks High, subtle was definitely better. I tried my hand at "charming," and it worked worse than I had hoped. They fell over themselves trying to win my attention. Rather than allowing me to ease her into Forks High society, Alice took control and immediately banished me from center-stage, a role I was more than happy to escape. Keeping a sophisticated, cool front, she made them all but beg for her attention.

I had feared that the girls' catty, snobbish behavior would turn Alice into someone unrecognizable. I should have known better. Life hadn't beaten it out of her. A few shallow, self-absorbed teenagers stood no chance. Nothing could penetrate her natural kindness. The enthusiasm she held for life seeped from her in waves of excitement and energy. Unlike me. I wasn't big on wearing my emotions for all of the world to see. And now, it being senior year, she was determined to make friends for me. She didn't understand why I'd prefer to be alone reading rather than making conversation in between classes.

"You saved my ass," I folded the paper and put it in my back pocket. Without my schedule, I would have been wandering blind. "Thanks."

"I know," she stopped bouncing to look triumphant. "You owe me a favor."

"Good luck collecting," I snorted. Alice was very good at making full use of favors. Her main interests involved shopping and redecorating. I tried immensely hard not to fall into her debt.

I had spent more days than I wanted to remember acting as her mule. From store to store, not stopping to eat or rest, she piled bags into my arms until I was forced to excuse myself to the car in order to prepare for round- whatever number it'd be. When we took my car, I had learned to park far from the store's entrance. That way, on all of my trekking back and forth, I could sneak a cigarette or two in. Despite the long, tedious hours, I went along with her whenever she planned a big shopping trip. She knew what it was to have nothing. I, too, knew what it was like to live in squalor. Hunger like acid churning in my stomach, scraping money together for reject food; I'd never, the fuck ever, go through that again.

"There's someone new in school."

"Oh?" I stifled a yawn.

"Yeah. I don't know her name yet, but she's from Phoenix. I hear that she's a little bit of a bad-girl."

"Really." I couldn't bring myself to be excited. Both Jessica and Lauren had professed to be 'bad,' but black nail polish and dark eye-shadow didn't do it for me anymore. They had all but killed my pierced, tattooed, girl in leather fantasy.

"We're going to be close friends," Alice smiled in a knowing way. "Get used to her, alright? Be nice."

"I'll try." I had no defense against her sad-face.

"Bell's going to ring," she sighed. "I don't know if I'll be in lunch today. I've got things to check on."

"No big deal," I shrugged. "You don't need to monitor me, you know. I'm perfectly capable of handling things on my own."

"I know," her eyes held things better left unsaid. I grinned as Alice snorted at me to ease past the painful remembrances. She'd adopted another of my quirks.

"You could use the help," she said matter-of-factly. "Don't you want a date for prom? I want your yearbook to say more than 'Have a nice summer.' You wouldn't be so bored if you talked to some people, made a couple friends."

"I don't plan on going to prom. Nor do I intend on purchasing a yearbook."

"But- but you have to!" Her eyes were wide with fear, "Aren't there ___some_ memories here that make you happy?"

"Of course. I am grumpy today." I curbed my irritated sigh. "That doesn't mean I'm caving about prom, for the record… but if it'll ease your mind, I'll buy a class ring for memories. And I'll be nicer to people. Probably."

She hugged me impulsively. I returned the gesture as best I could while balancing two text-books in one hand and my book bag in the crook of my elbow.

"You hugged me back!" Alice's smile was genuine, I could see it reflected deep in her dark blue eyes.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to cause your good day to take a bad turn."

"Love you," she all but clicked her heels together before she hurried off to her first class.

Classes passed in a blur. I read through most of them and got even further through my book during lunch-time. By the end of the day, I still hadn't seen the new chick. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't interested, but tension built and impatience burned. There was only one class left. After that, I'd gratefully go home and seek her out some other time. Finding ways to entertain myself in Forks, as small a town as it was, really hadn't proven to be much of a problem. I liked living the solitary life. It was easier only having to worry about me and Alice. Some books, some pot, maybe a random chick if she were interested… but if not…? I had plenty of ammunition thanks to online free porn.

I was still on my first book of the day, in the back row of fourth-year Spanish, when I heard the click of high-heels and smelled leather.

"Bella Swan, I presume?" Mrs. Petry looked over her bifocals at the late-comer. I followed her gaze and felt all my breath freeze within my lungs.

… Fuck me sideways…

I zoned in on her shoes to start, not wanting to spoil the could-be-dream by seeing her face too quickly. Her black, I-could-fuck-her-right-there, boots rose at least four inches off the ground. Her heels were stocky, the shoes ending at her ankles. Three buckles continued to rise along her calf ending just below her knee. I studied the worn areas on the right side of her boot. They were frayed in very specific places, and judging by the personal alteration's she'd made to her shoes, I could tell that she usually carried a knife threaded under the leather. I felt my cock twitch and rested my ankle against the side of my chair to feel my knife dig into my skin. It was comforting, reassuring. I was used to the slightly itchy feeling as the metal chaffed and rubbed during the day. Normally, I would have passed off my observation as wishful thinking. Yet the way she carried herself… defensively, almost predatory. She dared people to start shit with her, I was about ready to accept that challenge.

Her legs were toned, muscled, I could already feel them around my hips. The skin was pale, I could see a few scars along her calves and the lower part of her thighs. That was interesting. Aside from the football team, there weren't a lot of people with battle scars in Forks. I liked that she hadn't tried to cover them with fishnets or stockings. Her skirt was long in the back, yet short in the front. A layer of black lace wisped along the buckles of her shoes as she walked to the teacher's desk. Different, indeed.

"Seeing as it's your first day, I'll overlook your tardiness," Mrs. Petry's voice droned on and on. I didn't care what she was saying so long as she kept Bella Swan in front of me.

I'd be able to span her waist with my hands. Settled into the gorgeous swell of her cleavage- I bit the inside of my lip- was the top half of a skeletal dagger. I couldn't see the rest of it, but I knew it was functional. How she had gotten through the front doors was beyond me. Maybe they didn't have my eye for concealable weaponry. Her skin was really pale, especially in contrast to all of the black she was wearing.

She shifted and her jacket closed, I couldn't see as much of her throat anymore. And the jacket... I felt my eyes waiting to roll back into my skull. She was wearing black leather. A legitimate, worn-in, really comfortable looking motorcycle jacket. I couldn't even be pissed at her for the fact that I'd need to retire my similar-looking one for the year. I didn't want her to look like my twin, and I certainly didn't want her thinking of me as a brother. _Way to jump the gun._ I hadn't even seen her face yet and I was altering my wardrobe options.

Disappointment was going to be brutal and all-consuming. Taking a deep breath, praying to whichever dark god was tuning in, I raised my eyes northward.

She had long chestnut brown hair. Though most of it was over her shoulders, I could see where it ended, below her waist. I had a weakness for really long hair. Her eyes definitely took first place, no contest. They were chocolate brown. Warm, bittersweet, slightly edgy and very wary. I was humbled. Dark purple and black swirled on her eyelids, mascara made her eyelashes seem miles long.

Mrs. Petry was done with her. I watched, unobtrusively shifting in my chair as she stalked across the room. Bella Swan didn't walk, she sauntered. Her hips rolled, every step was purposeful. She sat down at a desk one row over and only one seat up. I inhaled deeply, the smell of leather sharper now that she was closer. Underneath that I caught a hint of papaya's and- I bit the inside of my lip harder- she smelled like sex. Rough, up against the wall, deep and hard and fast, no holds barred sex. My erection pulsed in time to her drumming fingernails. They were painted a metallic shade of purple. She wore five rings; two on her index finger, one on her middle-finger, and two on her thumbs.

The ring on her right hand, curling around the lower part of her index finger, was shaped like a claw. It looked sharp, vicious; I could feel it digging into my shoulders as she pulled me closer. Mine was better, but aside from Alice I had never seen another female sporting that sort of accessory.

I watched her take stock of our classmates. Her eyes went from one person to another. I saw her eyebrow raise as she quickly scanned over Jessica Stanley, Mike Newton, and Lauren Mallory. She barely gave them the time of day. I applauded her judgment. Pausing on Angela, she rolled her eyes at Ben, and- I knew I should look away, but I was captivated by the beat of her pulse against her nautical choker. She shrugged out of her jacket, pausing in her visual perusing. I nearly groaned aloud as papaya's and sex and leather wafted toward me.

I felt my neck and back prickle. She was looking at me. I braced myself and met her gaze. I felt my blood roar through my veins. I didn't care who was present, she was two seconds away from being pulled down onto my lap. Her full shiny lips curled into a smile, I saw lust flash in her eyes before it was replaced by curiosity. She hadn't looked away. I tipped my head without breaking eye-contact, acknowledging her dominant display. Her smile widened, became more seductive, if that were possible.

Mrs. Petry was speaking, but she didn't seem to notice. She rested her chin on the palm of her hand and did the same thing I had done to her. Having already seen my face, she worked her way down my body. And she bit her fucking lip. She was not going to be an easy conquest. Her hand emerged from the confines of her messenger bag. Simple, black, there were traces of white chalk on the back. She had random movie and picture buttons pinned to the bag's strap, I remembered Alice liking to collect those, too.

I lost the dominance struggle as my eyes snapped to Bella's wrist. She was wearing part of a set of handcuffs. Wrapped around her small wrist, along with a tribal spade tattoo, one cuff of steel taunted me. She would be underneath me by the end of the day. That half of a handcuff spoke volumes. Bella wasn't the fur-lined type. When I took her, she'd be my match. I'd have to pull out some of the fancier maneuvers to satisfy her. ___Finally, a challenge._

She turned her attention to the blackboard, ignoring me. I wanted to be annoyed, but I couldn't cut through my amusement. She knew how to play the game, too. A worthy adversary. Time passed as Petry warbled Spanish. I barely paid attention. Bella was quick. Her pen flew across her notebook as Mrs. Petry wrote notes on the board. As the rest of the class caught up, she drew sketches into the margins. About halfway through the class, she yawned. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she pulled a book from her bag.

That was it. My inner voice told me to throw the towel in. I was five seconds away from surrender. She was fuck-hot and intelligent. Tom Robbin's _'Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates'_ was spread across her desk. She'd highlighted words in the book, I had analogous marks in my own copy. Tom Robbins was a master of the English language. There weren't many books that required my constant use of a dictionary. Robbins had set the standard for me, few novels could compare. And she was more than three-quarters finished with it.

Bella was a pleasant diversion in what would have been a monotonous year. When I tired of her and she tired of me, as was to be expected- we'd both move on to better prey. There was more to the world than Forks, Washington. Carlisle and Esme knew her father, Chief Swan. _…shit_. The only good mark on my record was that no one I'd slept with could say I led them on. I was very clear about what would be happening, and not happening after.

Questions kept rising in my mind, and a few filtered past before I could stop myself. Was she high maintenance like her clothes suggested, or was she the down-to-earth, uninhibited kind? I had no use for drama queens or conceited cock-teases. What was her opinion on impersonal sex? And, if it weren't a favorable one, what were the odds I'd be successful in convincing her otherwise? If anything, Bella seemed to be looking for fun. The way she looked at the other boys and quickly moved on from each one. None of them impressed her, though a few had made her eyebrow raise in disdain.

The bell rang. Bella hastily shoved her books back into her bag. I watched her perfect ass move away from me. The sensuous curve of her hips, her defiant, yet confident, strides pricked along my skin as she walked out of the classroom.


	2. Learn To Crawl

******Chapter 2  
- Learn To Crawl**

******Authors Note****:**  
The Twilight Series- and all related characters- do _not _belong to me.  
******Authors Note 2:****  
**I've given myself permission to be free with expletives, sexual content, and pot/alcohol usage. Please DO NOT read this fanfiction if any/all of those things bother you. There is NO rape, no cutting, and no pregnancy in this story. This fic is all-human and OC, be warned if you don't like those categories.

******Playlist****  
********Wonderful**- Rob Thomas  
******Excess****-** Tricky  
******Face Down**- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  
******Learn To Crawl**- Black Lab

******Bella's Point of View**

_"Bella Swan, you'd better not be smoking up there!"_

I hastily threw what was left of my cigarette down into the alleyway. I had gotten two tattoo's without as much backlash. But I still had a little of the 'good daughter mentality' left within me. That's what had caused my last cigarette's plunge onto the dark street. Renee knew I smoked, and I didn't care that she hated it. I hated hearing her and the Slacker at night. He smoked, inside, before I had started.

Renee had divorced Charlie when I was thirteen. We moved to Phoenix where she'd been promised a prominent position working in a modern art museum. When the position was given to someone else, it had been too late to return to Forks. Mom put in a call to the grandparents and all of a sudden we had a nice, spacious house to call our own. I enjoyed it there. The rooms were airy, the ceilings high, and I fit in easily at my new school.

Renee met Phil on-the-job, working part-time at a bakery. He took her out on the town, showed her fun when she was trying to cope with being a single mother. I liked him. He always had funny stories to share, he played catch with me now and then. I especially liked that he didn't have any intentions of being my father. I didn't want some stranger stepping into Charlie's position. That, really, should have been the first warning sign.

My parents divorce was still sort-of a hazy time for me. I didn't remember very much except that I spent a lot of time on my own. Reading, mostly, while they argued in the kitchen or bedroom. Then there was the Silence, which I easily filled in with music. When they announced their plans to separate, I couldn't recall being that surprised. Charlie said I'd be going with Renee.

After we moved, a few months after the divorce finalized, Renee decided that she wanted to be more social. The fact that Mom was dating hadn't bothered me. I had adjusted myself to the idea long ago. I read self-help books designed to comfort people in the midst of a divorce only to learn that Renee was depressed. I was only fourteen at the time, but I felt attraction for certain guys in school, I knew the excitement it brought. I hoped that if Mom could recapture her youth, she'd be happy again.

Phil, despite all of his flaws, made her happy. Renee had always been more of a free-spirit. She encouraged me to make my own decisions. We were more friends than mother and daughter. The problem being, friends often become forgotten in lieu of romantic interests. The same happened to me. I supported her happiness and squashed my desire for attention. I wasn't four years old, I didn't need her too 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my achievements. In return, I was granted freedom I learned was rare. I had always felt uneasy when friends of mine would complain about curfews and grounding. I was rarely grounded; the offense needed to be close to murder for Renee to lay down the law. I had no curfew to speak of, though I was expected to call if I wouldn't be home.

The happier years went by quickly. Then my fifteenth birthday came, went. I spent my sixteenth alone because Renee had forgotten. Phil didn't care much about me at that point. It didn't matter, I wasn't one to make a huge fuss over one day. I, for the first time, got to do exactly what I wanted. The perfect present.

I watched as our house suffered and our gardens fell into disuse. Renee had always enjoyed gardening. There wasn't much time for that when she worked part-time at the bakery and full-time, assisting an artist in their studio. Not that long ago, she had been the artist in a similar establishment. Marriage, lack of time, and me prevented those dreams from coming to fruition. Athletic equipment and beer were expensive. The cost for Phil's training was astronomical. The rest of his paycheck went to child-support and expenses related to his previous marriage. He was handsome enough, definitely Renee's type. I just wish she'd been as selective with her suitors personality traits.

The sad thing was that I couldn't blame her. I'd been duped just as easily. I hadn't fallen in love with the guy, I hadn't even loved him as a step-parent, but I had trusted him at some point. He seemed to be a nice guy. Funny, charming, he dated Renee for a year and a half before he proposed. He had waited so long to pop the question because his divorce hadn't been finalized. Renee was still in the dark over that fact. Phil had warned me, clearly, that should she discover that detail, I'd be very sorry. I believed him.

He had never physically abused me. I was a good student, I kept to myself a lot, and I buried myself in books rather than school gossip. Even if he wanted to, Phil knew I was more intelligent than him. Being smart had its merits. I was pretty sure I could get away with murder, literally, provided there was time to form a plan. That plan had been formed after he grabbed my arm, ripped the divorce papers out of my hand- mail that I'd opened by mistake- and told me _'You had better goddamn forget this, Bella. I won't tolerate defiance in my house.' _

When we moved, losing the house and having to rent a small apartment, I was enrolled in a new school. Things wasn't fantastic, to put it lightly. It was a very urban environment and the students attending reflected that. I tried to tell Renee how bad it was, that for the first time I feared for my safety. She had told me to stop over-exaggerating. The walk to her new place of employment wasn't a cake-walk, but we each had to do something to help the family.

I might not have made it through the school year had it not been for Rosalie. She was tall, blonde, beautiful, and bad-ass. No one pushed her against the lockers for fun. They didn't corner her in bathrooms. That's where she met me, in one of the school's bathrooms. She heard the sounds of fighting and came to investigate.

I was huddled in a corner trying to protect my face from the two girls who held a grudge against it. Their boyfriends had found me attractive. Apparently the fact that they had checked me out one too many times was my fault. But I was the daughter of a police chief. My first instinct wasn't to hair-pull and slap. I felt my fist fly and connect with her cheek. Her friend stomped on my foot and punched me in the stomach. Rosalie pulled them off me. She proceeded to kick them into the ground with a lethal combination of strength and purpose.

"You look like shit," she said after they'd gone.

"I feel like it," I managed to croak.

"They'll be back," she warned. "They might have friends with them. You should carry something to protect yourself."

"Yay me," I winced as the soap and water stung the open scratches on my cheek.

"You're in deep shit here, huh?" I met her eyes in the mirror and saw an offer of friendship.

I still didn't know what had prompted her to take me under her proverbial wing. Rosalie was a very independent person. She looked out for herself and let others do the same. I never saw her spare another the consideration she'd shown me.

I spent more and more time with her. We would hang at my apartment because Phil and Renee were hardly ever home during the week. Phil went to a bar after baseball practice, he didn't come through the doors until seven or eight at night. Renee, on the days she worked two jobs, didn't get back until ten or eleven. And Rose hated being home. She couldn't stand her drunken mother. There was no father to speak of. Home was where she'd learned to fight, to hone her instincts. As she said, 'when your own mother is liable to attack you in the middle of the night, nothing else seems scary.' I admired her strength. Nothing ever kept her down whether it be emotional or atmospheric. I also loved the way she dressed. Where she got the money to invest in such a fantastic wardrobe was still a secret to me. Maybe she did it the same way I had.

Through Rose I was introduced to a new circle of friends. They cut class, smoked pot, drank stolen alcohol. Most of them had unpleasant stories to tell, but, like Rosalie, they didn't let things bog them down. They dreamed of escaping. A few of them did. Not a lot of people graduated from Phoenix Middle School. I quickly learned that the fastest way to make money lay in the drug business. I was a carrier. I dropped the drug of choice from point a to point b. I'd collect the cash, retain a cut of my own, and have none be the wiser.

I was quiet, easily overlooked. I had incurred a decent amount of money by ferrying drugs back and forth across the neighborhood. The job wasn't without its share of danger. I faced more than one irate customer who couldn't pay up-front. I had been instructed not to deliver the drug should the recipient be unable to produce cash in return. Easier said than done, especially with the already-dangerous amount of cash that changed hands.

Rosalie and her friends taught me to fight with many different weapons. I learned to use the environment to my benefit. I used keys, a text-book, even a chain on my pants to defend myself. When the two girls returned with reinforcements, as Rosalie had warned, I had twenty people at my back and an education in street-fighting at my disposal. With that behind me, the next few years of school were much easier.

"Hey!" I jumped at the sharp knocks on the bathroom door. "You gonna be all night?" I released the lock and sidled past an irritated Phil. He grabbed my shoulder, "You've got a room, don't'cha? Think in there, not the shower. Water's not cheap, 'ey?"

"Right," I muttered without making eye-contact.

He was a ticking time-bomb, but I didn't fear for Renee. They were hardly ever home together for very long, and they spent most of their time making my bedroom wall shake. I don't know why he seemed to blame me for all of his problems. His eyes, warm on Renee, cut through me whenever I spoke. The guy who used to play catch with me was gone. Failure and shame rode him hard, the extra training sessions didn't seem to do him any good. He was a second-rate baseball player and always would be. They both thought differently. I kept my opinions to myself.

If things were so bad, I didn't understand why he continued to make extravagant car payments and costly athletic purchases. There are so few things that make him happy, Renee had explained. We were staying afloat, he could keep his car. Did I really need new clothes? Couldn't I make do with the 'still-fresh' ones from last year? My grandparents refused to lend further aid. They weren't going to help someone who had no plans to 'better the situation.' So I bought my own clothes and hid them in my suitcase.

When _I_ realized that Renee had no intention of leaving Phil, I stopped placing money strategically around the house. I saved it to find a place of my own. Rose had helped me adapt a more practical mindset when it came to Renee. I continued to see Charlie on Thanksgiving and Christmas. The years, once unkind, had recently seemed to agree with him. It had been the Christmas of my seventeenth birthday that I decided to ask if I could stay. The idea had never crossed my mind before. Memories of Charlie after the divorce weren't fun to think back on. He was withdrawn, quiet; we'd pass intant-make food back and forth before sitting down together for whatever holiday movie happened to be on. Beer bottles piled up, Charlie would fall asleep on the couch, and I'd go find solace in characters within my room.

The last Christmas had been different. Charlie had actually apologized for being so absent in my life. He felt that he'd failed me as a father and wanted to make amends. I was more than willing to give him a chance. I had excused his behavior due to what I'd read in the self-help divorce books. It may have taken him longer than most to recover, but he wanted to make an effort.

He and Renee talked for months before she came to me with the news that I'd be moving back to Forks. I acted surprised and pretended that I'd miss her, but I talked to Charlie from pay-phones and thanked him for interceding on my behalf. I never told him how we lived or what I was doing, yet he seemed to understand that living with him would be... a huge step up. He had made the plan seem like his idea. Using money as his bartering chip, he promised Renee and Phil that were I to live with him, all of my expenses would be paid. He'd expect no financial help from either of them, though I was free to visit whenever I chose.

Saying goodbye to Rosalie and her friends was difficult. They took the news well and congratulated me on my escape. Rose told me to keep in contact. We had, though it wasn't as easy. Our friendship wasn't often acknowledged in affectionate ways. When she threw me her last weapon or helped clean me up after a skirmish, I knew that was her way of showing me she cared. When I let her sneak into my room during the night because she didn't feel safe at home, I never mentioned it to anyone else.

We were never _together_, despite what the people in her crew thought. Both of us were strictly attracted to guys and preferred to keep it that way. If I had a girl-type, Rosalie wasn't it. I did, however, learn a lot about sex from her. She preferred to date more than one guy at a time. Almost all of them had some special talent. There was a masseuse that had given us massage lessons, a male stripper that gave us discounted pole-dancing classes. Obtaining alcohol was never a problem because of her friendship with a local bartender.

My departure was scheduled for June, but I didn't get to Forks until late August. Renee had changed her mind, briefly, and I lived in dread for eight weeks certain that I'd be forced to stay. Phil reversed her decision, in the end. I heard her shout acquiescence the night before I left. Forks was as I remembered it. Peaceful, serene, cold. My leather jacket wasn't any source of protection against the chilling mountain air. I liked the comfort it brought me despite the lack of insulation. It had been with me through some tough times.

My room was the same. He hadn't changed anything. I asked if it were permissible to redecorate and he had chipped in for the paint, rollers, and brushes. Light purple and unicorns weren't me anymore. I hung band posters and bookshelves. I decided on a light blue for the walls. It could easily be repainted, and it was better than the girlish lavender. After putting a new carpet down, hanging some of my random pieces of art... It was my space, I loved it.

Charlie was reserved, but I took after him. We established a good routine in the two weeks before school started. Dad made breakfast before leaving for work. I had dinner prepared by the time he got home. He made me promise to be home before ten on school nights, and by midnight on the weekends. I was nearly eighteen, he said I had his trust. I couldn't smoke up anymore, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. He was Fork's Police Chief. I didn't want word getting back to him. About anything.

I hadn't needed clothes or school supplies, I made sure to buy them before I left Phoenix. So, he surprised me with high-speed Internet and a laptop. He wanted me to do well, and the ancient computer he owned wasn't in any condition to be used on a regular basis.

My first vehicle turned out to be a 1953 Chevrolet pick-up, faded orange in color. One of Charlie's friends sold us his second truck. It was no prize, but it would get me from one place to another. I loved her. She rumbled at me when I started her engine, but I wasn't my happiest first thing in the morning, either. With oil, a few washes, and transmission fluid, I had earned her trust. She didn't sputter with me behind the wheel, nor did she freeze up around turns as she did when Charlie drove her.

I explored Forks countryside, learning her quirks, though not much happened. I understood Charlie's leniency with my curfew. Everything in-town closed at ten, except for an ice-cream place and the movie theater, all family-friendly places.

The two weeks before school started went by quickly. Charlie, a new truck- at least to me- and free time made Forks the safe haven I knew it would be.


	3. Red Flags and Long Nights

******Chapter 3  
- Red Flags and Long Nights**

******Authors Note****:**  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

******Playlist****  
********Strut****- **Adam Lambert  
******Le Disko****-** Shiny Toy Guns  
******Scream****-** Star Killers  
******Red Flags and Long Nights****-** She Wants Revenge

******Bella's Point of View**

I was actually nervous. My palms were damp as I gripped my steering wheel.

It wasn't fear of being the 'New Girl.' I had done that before, three times. The key to success lay in not letting anyone get to me. Annoying, hot, overly inquisitive, I'd disregard all of them. I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to graduate. An entire year left, I felt a horrible, sinking feeling and pushed it away. The year would be over before I knew it. I was confident in the outfit Rosalie had given me as her going-away present. I had my knife tucked inside my jacket. I doubted a fight at Forks High would be serious enough that I'd need it.

It was time to face the music. I turned on my I-pod and hid the cord and ear-bud with my jacket and hair. I could listen all day provided I was careful not to push my hair back. On my way inside, I was stunned to realize that a lot of the students didn't bother to lock their car doors. _Right. Forks._ I was safe, supposedly. A lot of the vehicles were old, like mine. There were a few exceptions, either birthday presents or rewards for hard labor. A shiny silver Volvo sat next to a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. They seemed even more out of place in a field of pick-ups, and, for whatever reason, a tractor parked at the very end... There wasn't a car present that was free of dirt and grime. Those two were spotless. Gleaming, even.

People chattered, a few girls practiced cheers in the lot. I got plenty of stares, heard more than a few whispers, but I ignored them all and made my way to the main office. In the past, I would have hunched over, avoiding all eye-contact. Those days were long over. I met the snippier ones with a raised eyebrow and eyes that went dead, fast. If anyone wanted to challenge me, I wanted to be done with them by the end of the day.

I didn't have to wait long in the school's main office. All of my school files had been sent over from Phoenix High. My schedule, home room assignment, and school I.D were ready for me. The secretary was dressed in a pair of new blue jeans and a buttoned gray sweater. She pursed her lips at my attire, but I didn't receive a warning like I'd expected.

"So you're, like, the new girl, huh?" I narrowed my eyes at the petite blonde who had come to stand in front of me. Three of her friends flanked her, all of them had different shades of blonde hair. They were cheerleaders. What the hell did they want with me?

"I guess so," I replied, feeling them out.

"I'm Jessica, that's Lauren, Madeline, and Chelsey. We're, like, the _Gossip Girls_ here, you know?"

"I don't know what that means. Good for you?"

"Whatever," she snapped, expression souring as I didn't gush and go into _'Like me! I want you to like me!'_ girl-mode.

"Freak," I heard another of them say. I felt myself smile as I walked away. If that was the worst, I was in for one easy year.

I passed a bronze-haired guy talking to his… girlfriend? He returned her embrace awkwardly, the weight of his book bag drew my attention to the taut muscles of his arm, the tattoo across his bicep. Another tattoo curled up his forearm.

"Love you," she laughed.

_Taken._ Lucky girl. He had been the first interesting male I'd seen in Forks. Maybe he'd be up for an offer of friendship-? I could see myself being friends with him.

I found Room 304 without much trouble. Settling myself in one of the desks, I pulled out my book and lost myself in Robbin's hilarious world. I read through most of the morning announcements, and I tried not to laugh when we stood for the pledge of allegiance. No one in Phoenix High had bothered.

"New girl!" A pale, pimple-faced boy straddled a chair in front of me. "What's your name? What's your story? What'cha doing in good ol' middle-of-nowhere Forks?"

"Beg your pardon?" He was talking entirely too fast for me to comprehend. His breath smelled like sausage.

I didn't like the way he leaned over my desk, and I really didn't appreciate that his eyes hadn't made it to my face yet.

"You, you're new, right?"

"Like a car."

"Well? Like I said, what's your name? What's your story? Why Forks?"

"Am I being interviewed?" I had assumed correctly, he blushed slightly.

"Well, not officially. I work on the newspaper, but I won't, like, run a full story on you or anything. My name's Mike, by the way."

"Nice name," I commented.

"You don't talk much, huh?"

"That's very astute of you," I smiled blandly.

"Yeah, well, if you need anything, you know, help or whatever… let me know. I'll, uh, be glad to help with any of your curricular or, uh, other needs." He smiled at me, one I'm sure he thought was suave and suggestive. I shivered inside and refrained from moving seats.

"Thanks for letting me know."

"People like… recreational activity around here. You need something, you let me know." Very smooth, Mike.

"I might do that."

"I hope you do."

I was left in peace as he went back to his group of friends. They'd heard our exchange. The whispers were back again. When the bell rang, I went to Health class, thankful that Gym would wait a marking period. Biology followed, English after that, Psychology, Calculus. A break for lunch, Spanish. My I-pod was a lifesaver. I escaped the library for lunch, feeling the buzzing in my head stop as I embraced the silence.

"Bella?" I saw the petite dark-haired girl from before. The one with that tattooed boyfriend, if I recalled correctly.

"Yes?"

"Hey!" She smiled and I felt myself do the same. It was infectious. "My name's Alice Cullen. You finding everything okay?"

"It's not been too bad. ...thanks."

Her last name was vaguely familiar. Charlie had mentioned something about Forks Hospital having a licensed surgeon. His name had sounded European, but his last name might have been Cullen. I liked that her clothes were vintage. She wasn't wearing any pastel colors. It was winter, yet the people of Forks didn't seem to notice. Girls walked around in denim skirts, tank-tops in colors that reminded me of Easter eggs. Alice sported a form-fitting black trench coat and a polka-dotted Lolita skirt. Rather than making her look like a little girl, she pulled it off while managing to appear sophisticated and mature.

"We should hang out sometime. You must be wanting some friends, right?"

"Not especially..." I couldn't find it in myself to use my normal indifferent tone. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. The way she spoke, bouncing around me, I could literally feel her genuine offer of friendship.

"Oh," she looked disappointed. "Well, if you need anything, come find me, okay?"

"Um, actually…" I glanced at the clock, I had ten minutes until my next class. "Do you know where Mrs. Petry's classroom is located? They didn't write a room number on my schedule."

"Sure," she grinned and took my hand.

"Whoa, whoa," I took a step back. "I'm sorry, I'm a straight-line kinda girl."

"What?" Her brow furrowed and she gave me space, cautiously. She was really short, barely coming to my shoulder. I was afraid my heavy messenger bag would knock her unconscious. "Oh, you mean- No, I didn't mean that, um, _that_ way…"

"Sorry," I fought back a blush. "I'm not used to people, you know… Things like that."

"No big deal," she smiled and kept a careful distance between us. "My brother's the same way. If you see him around, his name's Edward. He's not the most social of people, but don't hold it against him, please?"

"Sure. No problem." Her name was Alice, her brother's name was Edward. I wondered what he looked like. If he shared any likeness with Alice's dark beauty, he would be gorgeous.

She was paler than me, which was saying something. Her cerulean eyes dominated her face, I could read every emotion she felt through them. She had a nice figure, though she was rail-thin, and I liked the trendy metal buttons on her bag. Most of them were of fairies, but there were a few quotes and movie pins that I recognized.

"Lunch is almost over, we'd better hurry if you want to miss the rush."

"Hang on?" I glanced outside where a few people were smoking. The craving for a cigarette hit me. I could feel the light pressure between my fingers. Inhale, exhale, sweet, sweet nicotine. The patches I'd bought before leaving Phoenix weren't doing anything. Her boyfriend was one of the people smoking. Alice paused with me, automatically smiling when she saw him.

"Do you want to go and say hi?"

"No," she sighed. "Lunch is his only down-time. He's usually out there reading and smoking between classes."

"You don't approve?"

"He would do it, anyway. I'd just make him feel bad about it."

I watched as he turned the page of his book and lit another cigarette. Chain-smoker, I bit the inside of my lip to squelch a grin at his reading material. Very nice. ___Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_ was a fantastic novel, but Thompson's collection of letters were much better. I'd have to give Alice a copy of ___The Proud Highway__, _to see if he agreed.

"Aaallliiccee," a voice trilled. I turned to see Jessica Stanley and her mini-crew.

I had an inane urge to step in front of Alice. I didn't want her subjected to their bitchery.

"It's ok," Alice murmured. "They're, sort-of… friends of mine."

"Cool." I hadn't realized my fists were clenched at my sides. _What the hell was wrong with me? Was that how Rosalie had felt? _Had _I_ seemed that innocent and fragile?

"So, like, what are we doing about the dance? It's only a few weeks away. We should have totally started planning earlier."

"It'll be fine," Alice replied calmly. "Do we have a theme yet? Ask around, though they'll love what we do, regardless of what they pick."

"Only cause, like, you're in charge."

"Yeah… that's my cue. Nice to have met you, Alice." _So what if she were friends with Stanley? _I couldn't detect any of their vapid shallowness in Alice.

"Guys, I've really gotta go," I was surprised to hear Alice say. "I'm helping Bella-"

"What? No, that's really okay." I hesitated, pushing the stairwell doors open. "I can find the room. It's not a problem."

She extricated herself so gracefully, they barely registered her movement. One moment she was next to them, the next she was standing next to me.

"Seriously?" I found myself in a stare-down with Lauren Mallory.

"What?" Alice was truly clueless. She didn't understand the reason for Lauren's biting tone.

"You're ditching us for _her_?"

"Bella," Alice corrected firmly. "She's my friend, too. Get used to it or plan school functions on your own. I don't like being made to choose between friends."

"That wasn't-"

"Totally didn't-"

"Whatever," Lauren interrupted her friends. "I think it's a good idea. Fix her up, make her one of your projects. Her wardrobe could use some serious help."

"Want to see a black eye next time you look in a mirror?" Little blonde, bimbo.

"Bitch," she snarled. "What did you say?"

"Guys," Alice stepped between us. "What the hell? Lauren, I know you started this."

"What?"

"Bella's not going to take Trevor. She's got an interest in someone else. Bella, Lauren's jealous that Trevor checked you out today. He's looked at me, too," she said to Lauren. "He ___is_ a guy. Let it be."

"That's not even- I mean, look at her. Listen to her. She's... not like us."

"Yeah, you both have different fashion tastes, but so what? You get along with me and I don't fit the status quo." Alice sighed and let what she said sink in. "Now. Are you planning the dance yourselves, or are you going to be okay that I have other friends?"

We both stared at her in shock. Talk about being blunt. I almost wanted to giggle. She was flushed, had her hands on her hips, and she seemed a lot taller when she was pissed. The angry little fairy. I almost wanted to poke her to see if she were real.

"I like your skirt," Lauren said to Alice, ignoring me completely. They walked away.

"Um," I ascended the stair-case numbly. "That was one hell of an intervention. Thanks?"

"They needed to be saved." Alice grinned. "They're easy to corral. None of them can stand real confrontation. It was all a misunderstanding, anyway. Why fight over something so easy to remedy?"

"I was defending myself, not fighting." I sighed. "I don't want to get you in trouble with your friends. It was nice of you to offer help, but I'm okay. I can handle things on my own."

That had been a lot of information to process. It made me smile at her.

"Petry's class is down the hall, last door on the left."

"Er, okay," I paused. "Why did you leave them, stage that whole thing downstairs, if all you were going to do was walk up a flight of stairs?"

"That's what friends do," she replied, completely seriously. "They were in the wrong, I wanted them to know it."

"You're a strange chick, Alice Cullen."

"But you like me," her smile had a teasing edge.

"You're right. I do like you." I grinned back, feeling like an idiot.

Rosalie had never been this openly affectionate. I missed her and the back-pound girl hugs. She'd occasionally wrap her arm around my shoulders when we were drinking, but it was a buddies-only kind of thing. There weren't many people she touched voluntarily. In a friendly way, at least.

"Call me if you want to hang out," she scribbled her number onto a page of her notebook. I could swear she hadn't been holding one. Her pen, however, was decorated with black anime cats. I liked it, the utensil suited her. "We can watch 'Fear and Loathing' the movie."

"Oh, your boyfriend, right? He was reading it outside." As though I'd forget.

"You looked happy when you saw his book. He's not my boyfriend," she giggled again. "That's Edward, my brother."

I struggled to bring him to the forefront of my mind. All I could remember were his two tattoo's and a cigarette held between two fingers. One of which had sported a skeletal ring. And… "Anti-social, chain-smoker, bronze-hair?"

"You've got a good memory. We'll be good friends." She waved and skipped away.

The second bell rang. I barely made it into Petry's class before she put the shade on the door down. She made a point to warn the class about tardiness, and she immediately took a dislike to me, but I had a year to change her mind.

As I stood in front of the class, the area between my shoulders tingled. I hated that feeling. Usually the sensation denoted danger, but no one was behind me. The class was staring at me. I tried not to show my impatience as Petry hunted for my assigned text-book. The feeling intensified as I walked to an available desk. I fought another blush and raised my chin. Let them stare. Starting at the front of the room, I sized them up.

Bimbette, Sausage Breath, Lauren. Angela? I remembered her from when I attended Forks Primary. She had been quiet, like me. I rolled my eyes as the guy next to her tried to execute the classic arm-around-her-shoulder, whoops, boob-grab move. Mature. Judging by the way Angela laughed and shrugged him off, they weren't strangers.

Feeling light-headed, I removed my jacket. The classrooms were either freezing or boiling, there didn't seem to be a mid-point. With my jacket draped on the left side of my chair, the I-pod cord was still hidden. It blended in perfectly with my hair after a few coats of brown nail polish had been applied.

I barely felt it happen. My head snapped around as I smelled cigarettes, and the not-so-familiar scent of spicy-sweet cologne. Sitting two desks away from me sat Alice's bronze-haired… brother. His green-blue eyes challenged me. I knew his game. I was well-versed in dominance games, and, for once, I wasn't going to lose. I squared my shoulders and my lips curled into a smile. It was a good one. A slow, seductive, come-get-me grin. I was quite proud of myself. He inclined his head, accepting the offer. I felt excitement rise in my chest.

His eyes were dark, his cheekbones high. He had sensuous lips, thin and slightly scornful. I could tell that he didn't smile easily. His hair wasn't just bronze. The strands were varying shades of honey, mahogany, cedar, coffee. I had never received looks like Edward Cullen was sending my way. I felt desirable, wanted. Sexy. I was used to seeing friendship and respect, lust, but never that assertive display of sexuality. My blood warmed, my pulse picked up speed. He was winning. _No, I couldn't let that happen._

His shoulders and chest were firm, I could see the outline of his muscles against his form-fitting band shirt. I really loved his tattoo's. One was tribal, black. I had seen it earlier when Alice had been with him. There were other symbols and forms threaded throughout the design. A grim reaper was tattooed onto the lower part of his right arm. The artistry was amazing. It looked real, as though it could rise off his arm from the mist that surrounded it. It's skeletal face was cruel, his scythe dripping blood. Edward smirked and turned his left arm so I could see the underside. I had forgotten he'd been watching. It didn't seem to matter as I saw what he'd been hiding

_Had he gotten the tattoo for Alice? _The woman was curtsying in a Lolita skirt. Her stockings were ripped and torn on one leg, immaculate on the other. She wore black Victorian ankle boots, one of her heels were broken. Her cloak looked like a spider web, lacy and long, it trailed near her boots. Fastened high on her neck, the fabric settled across her shoulders and hid her chest and shoulders. There were symbols, I moved to the edge of my desk for a better look. She was a Queen of Spades variation. No, not just the Queen if Spades. Spades floated around her head. Seamlessly, the spades became hearts. The left half of the dark queen's face was lighter, happier. The hearts fell at her feet, broken and ashen. All of his tattoo's were black.

I removed my hand from my messenger bag. Had I been searching for a pen the entire time? My gaze hadn't moved from him. Although, he hadn't looked away from me once, either. I glanced back at his face, but he was staring at my handcuff bracelet. He looked… intense. I had crushes before, but they were always fleeting. They never lasted long enough for me to act upon. There had been a few sexual encounters in my past. None of those guys had ever caused this reaction. He called to me, made me feel alive. The music I was listening to didn't help. The song had an edgy beat, it reminded me of sex.

_His arms taut as he held himself above me. My nails gripping his shoulders, running down his back. _I wanted to explore his body slowly. No fumbling in the back of a car or a quick fuck in a dingy apartment building. I wanted a huge bed. We'd need it for all I wanted to do with him. I'd always envisioned sex as wild, passionate. I wanted to be consumed, to burn. Edward might hold the key. He could unlock the door that separated me from true sexual satisfaction. I longed for it, craved it. As always, in time of emotional distress, I lost myself in my book. I couldn't possibly act on the impulse. I had gotten to know Alice Cullen. According to friend rules, I needed to verify, personally, whether she would be okay with me fucking Edward into a mattress. Somehow I doubted it.

The bell rang shortly thereafter. It was a good thing I had taken the class in Phoenix. I wondered how fluently Edward spoke Spanish. _I could always pretend-_ No, I wasn't going to hide behind the Unintelligent Veneer. I wasn't ashamed of my intelligence. If it offended him, he wasn't worth my time. I was proud of myself again. I hadn't looked back. If I could keep what had happened in class from happening again, I had a chance of truly befriending Alice.

She appeared before me as though I'd summoned her. I laughed as her skirt swung, brushing over my legs. "How was your first day?"

"Pretty good. The classes don't seem too difficult."

"Douche bag!"

I saw it happen in slow motion. Mike tripped Angela's Asian friend. He tried to shield Angela whose hand disrupted Jessica's diorama. Her book bag thunked against one of the basketball team members. I watched his arms flail as he tried to regain his balance and masculinity. I braced as the guy in front of me tripped on his own fucking feet. To get out of the basketball guy's way, he'd stumbled backwards, sliding on the wet tiles.

Alice was still in front of me. W_e were going to fall on top of her..._My elbow caught against the lockers, my right hip wedged against the open door and the other lockers. Burning pain ran up my thigh, my elbow ached from being forced against the locker slats. In the three seconds it took me to hit the floor, I pushed her out of the way. Edward caught her. He looked pissed, his eyes flashing on someone off in the distance. That was the last thing I remembered seeing.

******Authors Note 2: ****  
**Thanks to everyone whose added me to their Favorite's List, Author Alerts, and Subscription list! It means a lot that you've taken an interest in my story, thanks so much!  
******Authors Note 3****:  
********Evieeden****-  
**You answered my question, thanks so much! Thank you for the compliments, too. I hope the story continues to live up to standard!  
******Bruiser****-  
**Thank you, thank you so much! That's one of the nicest reviews I've ever gotten. :D


	4. Angel's Don't Kill

******Chapter 4****  
- Angels Don't Kill**

******Authors Note:****  
**The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me. 

******Playlist****  
listen grooveshark com/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
********Angels Don't Kill**- Children of Bodom (my favorite slow song by them. =) )  
******Never Gonna Stop Me**- Rob Zombie  
******Chew Me Up And Spit Me Out**- Cobra Starship

******Edward's Point of View**

_Tyler Crowley. _He was the one I was holding responsible for what had happened to Bella Swan.I saw red. Rage coursed through me. Primal, dark, wrathful. It had been awhile since it shivered through me forcefully. Years of frustration and outrage had curled behind that chain-linked door. I was embracing it, calling it home. Bella had put herself in harm's way in order to save Alice. My body was trembling, Alice had her hand on my shoulder. She was the only thing saving me from ripping Tyler apart.

I knelt on the ground with my shirt absorbing Bella's blood. _Patience... _I had never been great with being patient. I focused on how soft her hair felt against my arm, the silky texture of her skin against the back of my hand. Anything other than the sticky heaviness of her blood clinging to my fingers.

Bella had thrust Alice at me. I was still reeling from the incident. I should have caught her before she hit the ground. Her leg was gashed open from the edge of her locker door and she was bleeding from a head injury. The back of her skull had collided with the locker's release mechanism. It wasn't a deep wound, I established right away. Her breathing was even and her complexion was clear. She still wasn't conscious despite all of the indications that she was okay. That worried me. I had learned the medical basics from Carlisle. Bella should have opened her eyes by now.

"Water," I snapped. "Anyone have water?"

Alice knew me, she wouldn't move. I was more in control of myself, but the link was stretched to the breaking point. It could go either way. Should Alice leave me, if I lost contact with Bella, Tyler was dead. Seeing her lying so still... _why had she risked herself? _Someone handed me a bottle of water. I splashed some into my hand and rubbed the moisture across her forehead and cheeks. I didn't hesitate to do the same thing across her throat and chest.

"Bella," I called her.

"Move, coming through."

"Move, kids!" The emergency team was here. They'd take her to Forks Hospital for treatment.

"Excuse me, sir. You're going to have to step aside now."

My rational mind argued with my dark side:  
They were here to help her.  
___They were going to take her away from me.__  
_She's not mine. They can't take what isn't mine.  
___She got hurt defending Alice. You should have helped her. A favor for a favor. You owe her.__  
_So let them professionally help her.

She stirred in my arms. I stared down at her hoping that she'd awaken.

"Who the fuck still makes dioramas?" Bella didn't make sense, but at least she was speaking, her eyes were open.

I tied the edges of my shirt together, gently. It looked a little strange, but it should hold until they reached the hospital. Moving aside, I allowed them to lower her onto the stretcher.

"No, I can walk. Really." She was barely aware the surroundings. Her eyelashes fluttered as she tried to gain her bearings.

"You twisted your ankle and you may have a concussion. We can't allow you to do that."

"I've had worse," she grabbed his wrist. Bella had good reflexes. "Let. Me. Go. Please?"

"Ma'am, we'll be at the hospital in twenty minutes. For your safety, we can't allow you to walk out of here."

"Fucking…" she sighed heavily and slumped back. She didn't wince as her head touched the stretcher.

"Wait!" Alice handed me my hoodie. I wrapped it around Bella.

Her leather jacket, while sexy, was no protection against mountain weather. She was already shivering. It wouldn't be my fault if she caught a cold. Alice took my arm and we both headed to the Volvo as the EMT's wheeled her out of the school. I wanted speed. Carlisle was working at the hospital, and I could get there before the ambulance to ensure that Bella would be seen by him, personally.

"Yo, Edward, Alice." My back stiffened, I felt the rage boiling underneath the surface.

"I'm sorry, alright?" Tyler shrugged. "I didn't mean to knock into you."

The idiot ran in front of me. I stopped short to prevent myself from colliding into him. His nonchalant tone made my fingers twitch. It would take less than two seconds to crack him in the jaw. If he didn't get the _fuck_ out of my way…

"Move," I growled. I wasn't as forgiving of his slow reflexes. The clumsy fucker had elbowed Bella in the stomach when he fell.

"It's okay, Tyler. You didn't cause me any harm." Alice stepped to the side of me, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Why do you gotta be such an ass, man?" Tyler ignored Alice and remained focused on me. "I didn't do shit to you."

"And I haven't done anything to you." I snapped in reply to Tyler's unwise show of masculinity.

"You holdin' somethin' against me? What's your problem?"

"Bella Swan, the girl you collapsed on, is being transported to the hospital. I'd like to get there ___before_ they arrive. Get the _fuck_ _out of my way_."

My lip split as my head flew to the side. _What the fuck?_ Tyler had attacked while I was _walking away?_

"Edward, no!"

I heard Alice through a haze of anger and shock. He was a dead man. Nobody, fucking _nobody_ got away with sucker-punching me. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and threw him onto the hood of a car.

"Attack me like a man, jerk off!" Tyler tried to get away from me, but I slammed him back down. Piece of shit coward. He could dish it out, but he couldn't take it?

Adrenaline raced through me, I could taste it on my tongue. Blood-lust and a ready outlet at my disposal. I didn't realize that I was on top of the car, straddling him with one fist raised in the air. His shirt was clenched in my other hand. He had made the first move, I had witnesses. Surely I wouldn't be held accountable. But hesitation had taken hold, breaking through the rage.

"They'll take me," I heard Alice whisper. "S.S"

Social services.

"Fuck!" I couldn't help roaring. Tyler dropped back onto the car, I ached to kick him once or twice. But I had promised Alice I'd never lose control like that again. The last time had been motivation enough to keep myself in check. I had almost lost Alice. Social services hadn't liked me very much to begin with. I tried to explain that the fights found me, that I did my best to stay out of people's way. They hadn't believed me. Alice threw a tantrum and threatened to run away from the home if they separated us. They had said I was a bad influence, dangerous for her to be around.

They had given us one more chance. I hadn't fucked with it. Neither of us knew how the social services system worked. Carlisle and Esme had appeared out of nowhere. My probation wasn't done yet. I looked around the parking lot, knowing we had gathered way too much attention. Jessica Stanley, the biggest gossip, had a front row seat to my fuck up. In her hands sat the remnants of her project.

___"Who the fuck still makes dioramas?"_

My sharp bark of laughter made Tyler slide away from me. My laughter had scared him more than any beating could have. Judging from the expressions on other faces, I had terrified them, too. I didn't object when Alice jumped into the Volvo next to me. Her presence was soothing. My nerves were raw, writhing with aggression. I gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment. Taking deep breaths, I worked myself down from the bloodlust.

"He's okay, Edward. You didn't hurt him."

"What a fucking shame," I replied through gritted teeth. Her silence spoke volumes. "I'm sorry, Ali, okay? I'm really fucking sorry."

"Its not your fault." She petted my arm. "Tyler initiated that, I didn't think he had the balls. It happened too fast to prevent."

"I don't want you stepping between me and someone else like that again. If Tyler had gotten you across the face..." I felt a new rush of fury at the thought.

"No, I'm too short," she chuckled. "He'd still have hit you."

"That's really fucking funny."

"I thought so." She was smirking at me as I returned my eyes to the road.

The Volvo had every reason to be pissed with me, I was taking all of my aggression out on the steering wheel. Alice turned my I-pod on and I felt my tension slowly easing. I needed hard, loud, and aggressive before we got to the hospital. It was the only thing that would help me stay calm. It was not the time to be unfocused. One twist of the wheel and we'd go flying off the mountain and into a lake. The song ended and seamlessly blended into another. It was fast, edgy; I stepped on the gas. Fuck ten minutes, we could make it in seven.

"Why'd she save me?" Alice asked, looking stunned.

"Cause she's a decent human being?" She rolled her eyes and stared at me, waiting for a real answer answer. "Sorry, I didn't mean to take that tone with you."

"I told you it'd come in handy one day." She draped my backup sweatshirt over my shoulders.

"You did," I managed a smile for her benefit. Alice had insisted, a few years ago, that I needed to carry around a blanket, a change of pants, and an extra jacket in my car. She wouldn't tell me why, maybe she'd read it in a safety manual.

When it came to Alice's random whims, I went with whatever she said. A lot of the time she'd be right. Small, minute things that seemed trivial- if Alice were to tell me the color green made her nervous, I would barricade us both in a stripped room. No driving, no going outside, nothing. Not until the feeling passed. She took care of me, I didn't want to think about what could have happened.

If Bella hadn't interceded, I shuddered. Under Tyler's massive weight, even though Bella was slim… I couldn't imagine the damage it would have done to Alice's delicate frame. She bruised so easily; she could have broken ribs, a concussion to match Bella's. Jesus. I couldn't see Alice in a hospital bed. Not again. I'd done my best to protect her. She hadn't been hurt after that day.

"Wait," Alice passed me a mini bottle of hand sanitizer.

"Oh… oh _shit-!_" I still had Bella's blood on my hands. I emptied the entire bottle and wished for more. It wasn't the first time I had someone elses blood on my hands, clothes, but, for once, it really bothered me.

"I'll take the right side," Alice said as we entered the hospital doors.

"You're amazing," I let her hand go.

She hadn't stepped foot inside of a hospital in over four years. I knew the layout of the building. It made me nauseous to be there, but I'd put in my time. A hospital in New York had helped Alice, food poisoning and severe dehydration. She had collapsed, and I hadn't known what else to do. We had no insurance, I was only a kid, pretending our parents were negligent rather than non-existent, yet the NY hospital had made time for us. I hadn't been able to pay them for their services at the time. When I received my inheritance money, I sent them a check for what I estimated her treatment had been worth. I also volunteered my time when, and only when, Carlisle really needed the assistance.

Someone or something had saved us that night. I wanted to make damn sure 'they' knew how grateful I was for the help.

"Carlisle!" He turned at the sound of my voice. The coffee in his cup sloshed dangerously close to the edge. "There was an accident at school. It's not Alice. They'll be here soon, will you-"

"Of course. Where?"

I hadn't even needed to finish my sentence. Carlisle had my eternal trust. I'd put my life on the line for him. I saw the ambulance pull up in front of the building.

"Get Alice, I'll meet you in my office when I'm through. Has someone contacted their parents?"

"I'm on it," I replied. That was a good point. The Chief might already be on his way, but if he hadn't been alerted, someone needed to tell him. We both stopped in our tracks when we heard the screaming. My blood ran cold. I was moving toward the sounds before I had time to register what was going on.

"No! Fuck- off- No!" Bella was struggling against the restraints. Her eyes were dark, wild.

She was fighting something that went beyond the stretcher. When her efforts didn't seem to make a difference, Bella closed her eyes and turned a few shades paler. She screamed again. The sound struck a chord within me, I knew what she needed.

"Get them the fuck off her!"

"You can't-" I pushed the EMT away. My flip-knife was out, but it wasn't unsheathed. I wasn't committing a crime in Forks. Yet. Anywhere else, yes, but they sold guns at Wal-Mart in the boonies. What did one knife mean?

"Bella!" I grabbed her face in my hands. "Bella, focus on me. Relax, alright? You need to calm down."

I saw a flash of recognition in her gaze before another of the EMT's bumped the stretcher. Her eyes widened, I felt her inhale.

"No, no, Bella. Stay with me. Look," I pressed my knife into her hand. I remembered her boots. It would have comforted me. Any situation was tolerable when I had a weapon of some kind in my hand.

Her eyes pleaded with me. I thought she would say something, but before any words escaped, she bit her lip and shook her head. Her fingers scrabbled across the smooth surface until she gripped the knife's hilt and relaxed a little. I rubbed soothing circles onto the sides of her neck. She was between coherency and panic. One fucking push the wrong way… If talking to her helped, I'd stay for as long as she needed it. Marginally, finally, I felt her entire body relax.

"Your weapon," Bella rasped. She stopped chewing through her lip.

"Yeah. You're safe, okay? I won't let anyone near you 'til you want them. Keep the knife for now. Flip it open if you feel uncomfortable. You understand me?"

"Um… yes," she panted.

I released the catches as quickly as I could. The knife had been a momentary diversion. If I didn't free her before something else happened, I wouldn't be able to talk her back. Two more to go. She should barely be able to feel those. They'd been fastened loosely. She kicked the last one free as she sprang up from the cot. Nearly falling off the side, she recovered with her back to the nearest wall as she glared at us.

"I told you I was fine," she snapped. "I told you not to tie me to that thing!"

I made eye-contact with her over my shoulder as I stepped in front of her. She, if no one else, would understand what the display meant. I had sided with her. It was inappropriate, and I felt like a scumbag, but she just looked so… _fierce._ She gripped the knife, closed though it remained, like she knew how to use it. Her eyes were dark with rage, her skin was paler than it had been. She took forceful breaths as her eyes flickered from person to person. And she was wearing my sweatshirt. I wanted to open the doors and let her run. It was what she wanted. Something really fucked up had happened to her, she had been fine with the arrangement at school. She hadn't been tied down, though. That made all the difference in the world.

"I know you want to bail," I spoke over my shoulder again. "Talk to my… Dad first?"

I knew Alice and Carlisle would be shocked. Yet telling Bella, _'Talk to the man who adopted me' _didn't have the same sense of trust as saying 'Dad.' Father, even, would have been too distant of a word.

"He a doctor?" She cleared her throat, "Is he a doctor?"

"Better than." I turned, careful not to block her view of the room. "He's a surgeon. Top that."

"I don't have an undead monkey," she replied with the barest hint of a smile.

Staring at her, confused, I had to ask. "What?"

"Bella! Bella Swan? Er, Bells?" Quick as hell, she slipped the knife up her sleeve.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm right here."

"I can see that. What the hell is going on here?" He stopped short, staring at her from head to foot as he checked for injuries.

"Edward was taking me to see his father." I could see indents on her skin from the stretcher's straps. They made me angry. I didn't like that they had marked her flesh.

"Who the hell is Edward?"

"Me," I answered. "My father is Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"Then what's everyone standin' around for? Why the hold up?" He held his hands in the air, staring at the two EMT's, three nurses, and Carlisle. Our proceedings must have looked really strange to him.

"Good point," I agreed. "Bella, want to come with me?"

She nodded and fell into step behind me. I made quick eye-contact with Carlisle to let him know I was going the long way. We would have some privacy on the stair-well. It wasn't guaranteed, but I could offer her a moment or two in which to get her bearings.

"Will you hold these for me?" She handed me her necklace, my knife, and two cigarette lighters.

"What do you smoke?" I asked, intrigued by the small pot lighter.

"Nothing too serious." She smiled slowly. "What can you get?"

"Anything you want, but I have an invested interest in... green."

"Having sex, high, is the greatest."

"Do you, uh, need help with the stairs?" I was floored. That had been the hottest thing I'd ever heard a woman say. Her leg was scraped open, I noticed, glancing at the floor. Letting her walk had been a real asshole move.

"Here," she held forty dollars in her hand. "For a sample?"

"Nope. Cash on delivery." I couldn't possibly take her money.___'Sorry you gashed your head open, Bella. Thanks for saving Alice. By the way, its fifty, not forty?'_

"Are you safe about getting stuff?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Alright then." Bella took a deep breath, looking intimidated when she saw how many stairs there were.

"I can't let you walk them."

"I'm not going to be wheeled around in a wheel-chair, when-"

I picked her up, prepared for her to thrash around. To my surprise, she went completely still. Good instincts. I liked that she was conserving her energy. We were on the stairs. If she fought me, we'd both be injured.

"Put me down."

"And have you bleed all over my jacket? No thanks."

"Oh. That _was_ you-?" She looked down at it and smiled sheepishly. "Thank you."

Her arms wrapped around my neck as I ascended the staircase. She was scared of heights. I wasn't going to let her fall. Instead of the sickening hospital odors, I inhaled papayas, leather, and really good-smelling shampoo.

"Wait, wait," she put her hand on the door before I opened it. "Do you want it back?"

"If I say, yes?"

"I'll give it to you," she looked confused.

"Why did you ask?" I inquired.

"Because you mentioned it."

"Keep it... Heal quick." I deposited her into one of the chairs in Carlisle's office.

My job was done. Charlie gave me the cop-eyes, watching me warily as I left the room. I was used to it. It wasn't the greatest first impression. I looked like hell.

"Edward," Carlisle called. "Take my jacket. It's hanging across my chair in the other room."

"What will you wear?" I asked.

"I have another in my car," he glanced at Alice who was holding the coat.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she wrapped her arms gently around Bella's neck. "Feel better soon, okay?"

"See you at home… Dad." I had checked the pockets to be sure I wasn't stranding him here. Carlisle was in doctor mode, clip-board in hand.

"She's coming over to hang soon." Alice said as we got back into my Volvo.

"Was that a question?"

'Nope." She smiled. "I have a feeling, that's all."

Fuck me if I didn't want her to. Let Bella come. Let her come _over_. I'd have the pot, some questions, and a good few hours in which to ask them. Alice, most likely, wouldn't stay for the smoking. I'd have Bella all to myself then.


	5. Look Where We Are Now

******Chapter 5****  
********- Look Where We Are Now**

******Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

******Playlist****  
********Somebody Help Me**- Full Blown Rose  
******Welcome to the Masquerade**- Thousand Foot Krutch  
******Look Where We Are Now****-** Hoobastank**  
********Push It****- **Garbage

******Bella's Point of View**

I woke to pain. Trying to stay calm, I opened my eyes to bright, bright light. It couldn't be my after-life. I wanted to feel peaceful, at ease. Instead I was uncomfortable and panicking.

"Bella?"

I was staring at the most perfect chest I'd ever seen. A tattoo lay across his right pectoral. He was pale, muscles taut. There was a scar across his left side, more on his ribs, but he turned away from me. His hipbones, dear fuck. And the glory trail; light, sparse... _what was going on?_

"Bella?!" His voice slid over my skin, smoother than satin. I had to find it's owner.

"Mm?" His eyes were green. Dark green, almost blue. They were familiar, I knew them from somewhere.

I felt him touch my face, my throat. It was entirely too warm, the cold water helped cool me down. I still didn't know where I was. With the light in my eyes, I couldn't see anything beyond his broad shoulders.

"Excuse me, sir. You're going to have to step aside now."

No! Why were they taking him away from me? He of the velvet voice and cool skin, why did he need to move? I didn't like the new people. They smelled like disinfectant.

I was in a school of some sorts. Had I been knocked unconscious? I didn't want to visit the infirmary again. The nurse was starting to get suspicious, I didn't want her calling Renee. Phil would flip the fuck out.

"Ma'am…" the voice droned on. Who the hell called me Ma'am? I wasn't that old. "… can't allow you to walk…"

I sighed, not bothering to argue with them anymore. I could always make my escape later. My head hurt, and my arm, too. One of my legs felt strange, but I was too tired to investigate further. _What was happening? _When I opened my eyes, everything spun. There was a short stop, then I felt myself being raised, or lowered, I wasn't sure as nausea churned in my stomach.

"- a concussion. She's out of it. We should get her-"

_A clanging sound helped bring me back to reality. Doors of some kind were being closed. My head ached, my ribs felt as though someone had kicked me when I was down. My eyes opened and I was able to focus on... the bright, white interior of an ambulance? Panic churned. Renee couldn't find out. Rosalie would show up and make everything okay again. But I was freezing, and Phoenix wasn't cold-? _

___"Deer Valley…"_

___What? What the fuck? They weren't sending me to the Valley! Sean had been sentenced to serve rehabilitation within the Valley. Six months had come and gone, he hadn't returned._

___"I'm not crazy," I focused on one of the men. "You have to tell them they've got the wrong person."_

___"Isabel Swen, right?"_

___"Yes. Wait, no. I'm Isabella Swan."_

___"That's what I said."_

___"Bella, with an A. Swan, with an A. You said Isabel Swen. I'm Isabella Swan, not russian."_

___"It could be." He studied his clip-board. "I'll have them fix that for you when we get there."_

___"Idiot!" _

___My one, sure, guaranteed way out… They would sort it out when we got there? How many people had I known- They __never____ came back to school. It was rumored that the Valley categorized patients by their mental disorder. Then they were shipped to another facility for 'rehabilitation.' Sure. That really wasn't going to happen to me._

___"She's getting kind of rowdy. Want to strap her in before we get there?"_

___"Record doesn't say that she's violent. It's such a pain in the ass..."_

___"Better safe than sorry. Her nails are long. I don't want to go home bloody."_

___"Strap me in?" I spoke over them. "I'm telling you. You have the wrong person."_

___"I hate it when they cry. It makes me feel so bad for'em, you know? What kinda life have they had? I don't want her to cry."_

___Cry? Stupid bastard! I wasn't crying, I was fighting. I felt as though I were talking to a wall. That frightened me more than anything. They didn't see me as a single human being. _

___"My life's been great. I have an apartment. I live with my parents. Let's stop there and I'll prove it to you. My last name isn't Swen!"_

___Straps went over my legs, my waist. There was something sharp in my arm. Were they drugging me? Was that why I felt so lethargic? I didn't want to be unconscious. I was a little paranoid, but waking up while still under the drug's influence wasn't going to help that._

___"Tell me you didn't inject me with a tranquilizer?"_

___"Told you it'd be better this way." One of the men spoke, not looking at me. He threw the empty needle into a plastic bag._

___"I can't believe you're doing this to me!" One of them was coming toward me with a white strip of fabric. It wasn't a straight-jacket, but it looked damn fucking close to one. ____I connected once with one of their faces. My wrists were caught and held apart. _

___"Help me here, damnit!" _

___I screamed, tried to fight, but they were stronger than me, and everything had started to glow. My arms were wrapped in white cotton, I couldn't move my upper body. Tears burned behind my eyes. I refused to let them fall. I hadn't reacted well, I should have remained calm. Then the heavy darkness had taken me under..._

More bright lights.

Forks Hospital. I lived with Charlie, not Renee. _Why was I inside of an ambulance?_

"There's been a mistake," I said, trying to stay calm when I couldn't move. "Why is this happening again?"

"She's awake." Two men. _Were they the same two men?_

Was Forks real? Had it just been a dream? Had I been unconscious in Phoenix the whole time? Oh god, oh god, oh god…

"Strap her in better. Unloading is going to be rough. The ramp broke, remember?"

"No, no you can't do that." They didn't seem to hear me.

"She's struggling. Watch her head." These men were adept, I didn't even have time to fight.

"You can't do this. I'll flip right out. I'm not crazy."

"No one's going to hurt you," one of them finally answered. "This is precautionary only."

"I've heard that before,"

I conserved my energy for when they'd reach for the jacket. I was ready for them. The bastard didn't bother with the strait jacket. He went straight for the restraints around the table I was on. Around my neck, over my ribs, my waist.

Gathering my strength, I managed to scream. I struggled, I fought. They'd have to let me out eventually, I could outlast them. We had entered the hospital. I hadn't taken any drugs, they didn't need to pump my stomach. I was _not_ suicidal.

_I remembered waking up in Phoenix hospital, having four seconds to acclimate before they wheeled me into a room with a drain. They had strapped me down to another table and shoved a tube down my throat. It bruised my lips, made me gag and taste metal. I phased in and out during that process. It hurt, I didn't know what to do. They thought I was someone else, so no one would listen to me._

Isabel Swen had been a serious drug user, suicidal enough to mix alcohol, pills, and other noxious chemicals. They thought I'd taken something due to my frenzied fighting in the ambulance, waking up early from the knock-out needle. It had been an awful experience. There was no way I'd let anyone do that to me a second time. I screamed again, realizing how helpless I was. My fantasies of escape would never have time to be executed.

"Get them the fuck off her!"

I knew that voice. I wanted to cry in relief. That voice had done good things for me before. I yelled again, hoping he would find me faster.

"Bella!" Cold, his hands were cold. I smelled mint and cigarettes and cologne. Yeeess. "Bella, focus on me. Relax, alright? You need to calm down."

I could do that. I was still hanging on to sanity. What he handed me was cold. Steel. Survival instincts kicked in and brought clarity. The tattoo on his arm, his voice, the way he smelled... Why had Edward Cullen given me his knife? But it was nice to know that he was on my side. He had been in fights before, his knuckles were proof.

"Two more to go," he informed me.

I listened for the clicks. _Finally!_ I kicked free. The room spun, but I didn't care. I'd crawl out of if I had to.

"I told you I was fine." Taking stock of the way I felt... I didn't have any broken bones. My head hurt, again, but it wasn't migraine worthy. My sight wasn't affected in any way. "I told you not to tie me to that thing!"

I was a little unsteady, but I hadn't eaten anything yet. The dizziness would pass. I had used too much energy thrashing around on the stretcher. It hurt to bend my elbow, but my arm was still functional. I recognized one other person in the room with us. Alice. Had they released her already? She was standing on her own, I didn't see a hospital bracelet on her arm.

Edward drew my attention. I saw safety, protection, and anger in his eyes. The anger wasn't directed at me. I felt the energy emanating from him in waves. It was worse as he got closer. Every move he made seemed purposeful. When I realized he was silently offering his protection, I felt stunned, as though I'd been hit in the back of the head again.

Rosalie had taken risks on my behalf. But the bottom line was, survival of the fittest. Edward had nothing to gain from the situation. When he looked over his shoulder at me, I saw the determination written across his features. Darkness, too. I'd only known him a day, we'd never spoken, but I knew that not many were graced with the possessively feral, hungry stare he turned in my direction. He laughed at me when I spoke. That hadn't been very polite.

"Bella! Bella Swan? Er, Bells?"

I zipped my- Edward's, hoodie and shoved the knife into the sleeve of my leather jacket. My survival instincts ran deep. Charlie would have an aneurysm if he saw what I was wearing. I didn't exactly relish the idea of explaining, to Forks' Chief of Police, why I was staging a hold-up in the emergency room.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm right here."

"I can see that," he scratched his head. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Um, Edward was taking me to see his father." It was the truth, though I hadn't officially accepted his offer.

"Who the hell is Edward?"

"Me," Edward spoke up. "My father is Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

_Carlisle! That was his name! The European surgeon, I had heard about him from Charlie._

"Then what is everyone standing around for? Why the hold up?" No one had moved. Someone needed to do something, quickly. The EMT's looked stunned, Alice was rooted in place. I was concealing two weapons.

Edward took control of the situation. I nodded when he took my arm and made it seem as though he were assisting me. Charlie and Carlisle were talking, going over a medical chart. They would be a while. None of my hospital records had been sent over from Phoenix, at least not to my knowledge.

We stopped once we reached a stair-well. With time to breathe, I let horrible memories go and focused on what was happening. I was in Forks. This hospital was not a mental facility. Thankfully, Edward's jacket covered most of my outfit. I didn't want to see Charlie look disappointed when he saw what I really liked to wear. It wasn't always ripped jeans, flannel, and over-sized t-shirts. The zippered sweatshirt showed that I was wearing a black skirt, but it covered all of my upper body. Dad had never cared about the shoes I liked wearing.

"Do you, um, need help with the," he sighed impatiently, "you know… the stairs?"

"No..."

He was entirely too serious. I hadn't known him nine hours ago, but something told me that Edward Cullen and joy did not go hand in hand. Then again, perhaps I was wrong. The day hadn't exactly gone fantastically. He was allowed to be a little grumpy. But then the world spun. He picked me up. I didn't like being off the floor.

"Put me down." I tried to ignore how wispy my voice sounded.

He raised an eyebrow, "And have you bleed all over my jacket? No thanks."

What was going on in his head? One minute he didn't seem to like me, the next he was carrying me up the stairs. He would fight the amusement my comments brought, but I had been able to make him laugh. Why go to all of that effort when he didn't care about me? And he let me keep his sweatshirt? It was insulated, not a normal hoodie. His hold had tightened, as though he were afraid I'd try to run.

I watched the interaction between Edward and Dr. Carlisle with amusement. From what I could see, Edward had a good father. Carlisle was tall, impeccably groomed. He exuded the calm one would expect from a doctor, but he had kind eyes, a soft, yet still authoritative voice.

Though he seemed to be giving my information his full attention, Carlisle still took the time to offer Edward a jacket. I caught a glimpse of him changing and felt numb. Numb and happy. Numb, happy, and giddy. It was rather awkward with Charlie sitting next to me, my girly parts tingling due to the fact that Edward had no shirt underneath his hoodie. I remembered him standing next to me, his shirt wrapped around my head wound. More tattoo's filtered through my memory, but I hadn't made the correlation.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Um, no problem," I muttered as Alice threw her arms around my neck.

"Feel better soon, okay?"

"Er, no problem. I will, thanks."

"I'll call later to check on you."

Three exhausting hours later and I'd been released from the hospital. I was walking and had full control over my extremities. All in all, things had ended well. Charlie interrogated me all the way home. I couldn't blame him. At least he knew I was clumsy. He didn't come running anymore when I cried out and caused something to careen to the ground. So long as I wasn't actually crying, not something that happened often, he was content to ignore my blundering around.

After we ate dinner, I curled up on the couch to do homework while Charlie watched sports. I couldn't really call it homework. Nothing had been assigned. Having finished one of my personal books, I decided to pull the geek route and prepare myself for Calculus. It wasn't my favorite subject. I could keep up, but I wanted to be ahead of the game.

"Hello?" Charlie answered our home phone on its second ring. "Uh, yeah. She's right here."

Placing his hand across the mouthpiece, Charlie handed me the phone. I stared at it in shock before I moved to avoid stretching the cord. "Er, hi?"

"Bella!" I knew the caller immediately, "How are you feeling? Does your head hurt? Were you sleeping?"

"Whoa, Alice. One question at a time," I laughed. "I'm fine. My head doesn't hurt. I wasn't sleeping. No side-effects to note."

"Good!" I could hear her smile. "Thank you again for saving me, you know? Edward appreciates it also."

"I'm… glad?" I cleared my throat, "I mean, there's no need for thanks or anything. It was a freak accident, could have happened to anyone."

"Wait, I think Edward wants to say something."

"What?" I smiled at his disgruntled tone. Apparently Edward didn't want to talk.

"Hi?" I asked, wanting to hear his voice again.

"I- damnit, Alice, one sentence…" The phone wasn't muffled anymore. He was talking to me this time. "I have the green notebook you wanted me to hold for you."

"You do? That's really cool of you."

"Yeah. No problem." There was awkward silence. The television seemed much louder. I fiddled with the telephone cord trying to think of something to say.

"Uh, thanks," I said lamely. "I've been looking for study partners. Whenever you and Alice can."

"Let me know when you're free."

"I will."

Before I had a chance to say anything further, Alice's voice was back through the receiver. "Okay, well, rest up and I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Sure? You sleep well, too... Later."

"Those the Cullens?" Charlie turned to face me, turning down the volume. _Cop-Dad tone. _

"Yes, Alice and Edward. They're really nice."

"Good," Charlie nodded in approval. "There's a lot of talk surrounding them, don't you pay it any mind. They're a good family."

"Dr. Cullen was very friendly. And he didn't make me stay over-night." I really liked Carlisle. He was easy to be around, his concern for patients a tangible thing.

"Yea, I know he didn't," Charlie groused. He had been in favor of them keeping for a day. "You're getting along with them alright?"

"I've only known them a few hours, Dad." Charlie grinned at the title. I'd always used it, but it was nice that he noticed it again.

"Be careful of that Edward kid."

"Why? He protected me."

"Oh?" Shit. Charlie didn't know about that part.

"In school," I fibbed. "People were going to trample me, Edward stopped them. He gave me his shirt for my head and his jacket because I was cold."

"Nice of him," Charlie said gruffly.

"Anything else?"

"Just… don't go getting romantically attached," he blushed.

"I had no intention of... romantically attaching myself to anyone," I quirked an eyebrow. "Any reason you're worried about Edward, in particular?"

"Carlisle's a great surgeon, don't misunderstand me. He seems like a good family man, a good husband, but… I don't think he's… I think its an appearance he needs to uphold."

"But you said you liked them," I was massively confused.

"I do," Charlie rubbed his neck. "I don't mean that… I think he does more than, you know, pitch."

"He sucks at baseball?"

"No, Bella… he plays for the other team."

I couldn't help blushing. Charlie, of all people? "Dad, are you trying to say that he's gay?"

"Well, geez," he was bright red. "You don't need to scream for the neighborhood to hear."

"We're in the middle of nowhere," I pointed out. "Nice, private, secluded. I doubt anyone can hear us."

"All the same," he opened a beer. "Yes, though, what you said."

"He's married and he has kids."

"Adopted kids."

I hadn't known that. Good information. "Ok, so why warn me about Edward?"

"Apple doesn't fall far..."

"Oh, Dad. Seriously? No way."

"Gel in his hair, metal on his chest, that earring? That's not normal, Bells."

"A lot of guys use gel. Ear studs are pretty common, too. What about his chest?"

"I know, a lot of poofers walking around," Charlie grunted, refusing to elaborate.

Whatever. So what if Edward wore chains? I'd noticed one connecting his wallet to his pants. Smart. I had a similar one. "I'll be careful," I said, instead of asking him again. 'Poofers,' I laughed, heading to my room. Edward, a poofer? His reaction would be priceless. I'd have to bring it up sometime. Chances were, I would. I got really chatty after a few hits of Mary Jane.

Doing a half-happy dance because of my leg, I got ready for bed. The exhaustion I'd felt from my afternoon at the hospital faded. ...I wasn't sure I could handle Edward. He was so far out of my league... I felt Rosalie's ire kick in. No guy was above us, hadn't that been what she said? Well, fine. I'd pick up my game, use the tools I had at hand. I actually wanted to attend school. Surprise, surprise. What the fuck was I getting myself into? Anticipation curled in my stomach, but I felt... happy.

******Authors Note:****  
**Thanks to ******Team Switzerland678****! **I'll update more regularly, hopefully, provided the scenes fit together and don't forge ahead beyond where they're supposed to!


	6. Shaking

******zChapter 6  
- Shaking**

******Authors Note:****  
**I do not own the Twilight Series or any of the characters.  
******Authors Note 2: **  
******Bella's Boots**- www goodgoth com/9150901th jpg  
******Bella's Skirt and Shirt****- **www goodgoth com/8240901 jpg(Minus the garters and hair)

******Playlist****  
****grooveshark com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942****  
********Infected**- Bad Religion  
******One Night Only**- Saliva  
******Shaking**- Sugarcult 

******Edward's Point of View**

For two days Bella had been taunting me. Thursday she wore a dark blue sweater, tight blue jeans. Her boots had been thigh-high and… for the fucking love of Christ. The smell of papaya was permanently scarred into my brain. I associated the scent with her. What had she done to me? I had been perfectly fine. Maybe not dancing into school, but I'd set realistic goals for the year.

I couldn't help picturing Bella in various positions, crying out in ecstasy, as I plunged into her over, and over, and over again. She went all out Friday, wearing Victorian knee-high boots, a fishnet- fucking fishnet shirt- with a ripped, rave shirt underneath. Her skin was so pale; too perfect, too pristine.

_Did she know what she was doing to me?_ Her black lips curled into a smile. Oh she knew. Vicious fucking tease, she knew exactly what she was doing. Not only to me, but the entirety of Forks High's male population. Her handcuff bracelet still taunted me. It hadn't stopped taunting me. Grab me, it said. Unlatch me from her arm and replace me with your hand. I had to look away. Not even pot calmed the edge of sexual awareness that beat in my blood and drowned everything else away. Bella was every dark fantasy of mine come to life. If she didn't have a black shirt underneath the fishnet shirt, I'd be able to see her lingerie. I knew it wasn't a normal bra and panty set. No, she wore Victoria's Secret apparel. She had to. Or perhaps nothing at all.

...she dropped her pen. My eyes were drawn to the color, and I quickly looked away, but I had seen her red bra. Red, to match her writing utensils. My mouth watered. She had no idea of the view she'd just exposed me to.

"Are you okay?" Bella was looking at me in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You can kill it if you want," she said. "I have another."

"What?"

_Why was she offering me her red pen_- Oh. I'd been glaring again. That pissed me off about her, too. Most people went out of their way to avoid me. I'd left physical violence behind, but the aura followed me. Bella didn't seem to care.

"No, uh... I'm just thinking."

"Look," she sighed. "If you don't want me around, just say something. I'm sure Newton can help me out if I irritate you."

"Newton?" I'd be damned before she went to 'hasn't had to shave yet' Michael Newton.

"Anyone. Finding people to help me isn't a problem."

"Glad to know I'm needed."

"Whatever," she huffed.

"Don't-" I cleared my throat, the words were sticking "I'm not an afternoon person, you know? School should be over, but it's not. Evening is when I relax… so… I'm a little edgy. Sorry."

_Had I apologized? Me?_

Her brow furrowed as she searched my face for the truth. I wouldn't believe me, how lame had that excuse been? Points for effort, perhaps?

"So yea," I heard myself say, "I'll see you later tonight, right? Need directions?"

"… no, I know where it is. The huge glass house, right? Charlie mentioned it when I got the Forks tour."

"Yeah, that's it." Our house _was _a little ostentatious. We didn't have a shack in the woods or a modular home. Esme had designed the 'cabin' a long time ago. Carlisle had it built for her as a wedding present. It was their summer retreat turned home.

"Umm… should I ring the front bell, go around the back? Are your parents cool with me coming over?"

"They don't have a problem with guests. Use the front door, okay? There's no need for you to sneak around."

Well, that had been awkward. She had gone with it, though. Impulsive, I liked her. Carlisle and Esme wouldn't mind our unexpected house-guest. It was better that Esme not have warning. I didn't want Bella to freak, being bombarded with baked goods and love soon as she walked through the door.

"Thanks." She smiled, though her eyes remained wary. "I think."

At least she didn't look pissed anymore. I almost preferred her angry glares to the reflective looks she was turning in my direction. I felt like an insect, pinned for her examination. What did she see? What conclusions was she drawing? _Why did I care?_

"Anytime." Five minutes left to class. We could make it, so long as I didn't say anything else to offend her.

********

Bella's Point of View

Edward Cullen was infuriating. I had attempted to give him an out. Going to Mike for drugs would have been unpleasant, but I'd faced worse. He was immature, but he'd be easy to use. Edward- definitely not easy in any sense of the word. He had been glancing over at me since I sat down, though always subtly. It made concentrating difficult, especially when my gaze kept flicking back to him.

Wearing a white undershirt, faded black jeans, black combat boots and the hoodie from yesterday, I could smell cigarettes on him from across the room. It wasn't repulsive, I loved the smell. Everything about him screamed stay away, in huge, neon, blaring letters. And then I got an apology for it. Almost. He was trying, I'd give him that.

Convincing Charlie to let me visit them wouldn't be too much of a problem. He already admitted to liking the Cullens, and he thought Edward and Carlisle were gay. Surely that could work in my benefit. Alice, somehow, had already become a friend.

The bell rang and I watched him lithely unfold himself from behind the desk, swing the bookbag over his firm, toned arm, and stride toward the door. He had a long-legged gait that dominated the floor. Edward owned his surroundings. With one hand in his pocket, he was already reaching for his cigarettes and a lighter.

"Mind sharing?" I asked. "I'll give you a dollar."

"Does money not mean anything to you?" I didn't hear accusation in his tone, he was genuinely curious.

He wasn't an afternoon person, that much was obvious. The last bell of the day had rang and he already seemed to be in a better mood. I still couldn't see any hint of a smile, but he wasn't frowning anymore.

"I don't understand."

"You, you've offered me money for the other stuff. A dollar for a cigarette. Why not wait until they ask for compensation?"

"Because '_they' usually ask for more than I offer. If I jump in with a figure first, I've had it be accepted, sometimes, over a higher price_."

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Bella," I grinned. "Nice to meet you."

******Edward's Point of View**

Her eyes were cold. There was truth in her statements. I wanted to know why she had inside street knowledge. I needed to know why there were knife slots in a few pairs of her boots. Why did she know how to use them? Why had my weapon calmed her in the hospital? All of those questions had answers I didn't want to hear. I could picture Bella Swan fighting for her life, being ambushed by guys bigger and more experienced than her. I didn't want to, though. I wanted to hear about Christmas dinner with her family, riding roller-coasters with cotton candy. I didn't want to think about the scars I'd seen on her arms, how light she had been in my arms, how easy it would be to hurt her.

Her determination called to me in a way nothing else could. She was a fighter and nothing would keep her down. If I were wise, or kind, I'd run in the opposite direction. I wasn't good for good people. And Bella... I stared at her proffered hand, amusement cutting through my need to escape this building.

"Edward," I found myself replying.

Her hand was cold to my warmth. Our rings clinked, the tip of her claw scratched at my knuckle. Giving her a cigarette, I was surprised when she fell into step with me. Not behind me or in front of me, she walked directly next to me. People moved out of our way and we didn't need to say a word.

"Isn't it illegal to smoke on school grounds?" she asked.

"I saw the principal light up on the steps near permit parking. I don't think anyone has a problem."

"And if they do?"

"I'll think about moving," I glanced over at her from the corner of my eye.

She laughed and my cock twitched. It was becoming a common occurrence. "Must you be bad-ass all of the time?"

I saw it happening and growled as I reacted. Jessica Stanley tripped on heels she couldn't begin to balance in. I thrust Bella behind me and caught Stanley before her flat face hit the floor.

"Edward," she moaned, dramatically leaning against me.

I glanced around but no one seemed inclined to help. Bella had her arms crossed, and she actually took a step back when Jessica buried her face in the side of my neck. It was all for show.

She whispered in my ear, "Come out to the bleachers with me. I'll show you-"

"Watch where you're going." I steadied her before making a point of stepping to the side. I didn't want her clinging to me, having her perfume stick to my clothes. There was no need to hear the rest of her offer because I wasn't going anywhere with her ever again.

"You saved me!" she clutched at the lockers for support. I had assumed she could stand on her own.

"I saved the school money on a lawsuit."

"Hey, I'm going to the movies tonight," Jessica wedged in front of me. "You could totally come with."

"No thanks."

"Or dinner? You eat, right?"

"No, I stopped two years ago."

"Look, Jess," Bella tapped her shoulder. "Edward and I have plans tonight. Sorry to break in on your evening."

"What? No you don't." Stanley glared at the two of us.

"Uh, yea, she does," I clarified. I put my hand at the small of Bella's back, wanting her two steps in front of me. If she was going to cause another chain accident, or have someone else fall into her, I would be prepared.

"But, but- you don't date," Jess replied, stupidly.

Her wide eyes blinked up at mine, so empty. Already possessive and I'd only slept with her once. I had made no promises that night. She had been more than willing to engage in some casual sex. I should have been more clear. When I said 'no strings attached,' Jess had asked if I liked puppets.

"You're right," I applied pressure on Bella's hip so that she'd start walking. "I don't date."

_Shit._ That's why I hated crowds. In front of half the school, I made it sound as though Bella and I were hooking up later. No first date. I had inadvertently labeled her as easy. Judging from the way she was glaring at me, she had caught that, too. Fuck.

"We're just hanging out," I reiterated. "Alice, her, and me."

"What time does our evening o'fun start?" Bella asked.

"Eight," I replied automatically. It seemed as good a time as any. We could all go through the family dinner ritual, have some time to shower, get shit in order. And then, that's when the real night began.

The black boots she was wearing clicked angrily against tile. Oblivious to the stares directed at us, she swept past all of them only pausing near the door.

"Well?" Bella's eyes were cold again. Her voice carried, though, thankfully, there wasn't all that much space between us.

"Well, what?" I inquired.

"Are you coming for a cigarette?"

Fuck my locker. Everything could wait until tomorrow. I wasn't in danger of failing anything but Spanish. Running a hand through my hair, I made a show of displaying my displeasure. Her lips quirked. How did she know I wasn't really angry?

"You come to me, not the other way around."

She met my eyes and stood her ground. I really respected that. "Do you see these heels? I'm not walking back to you just so your ego's flattered. Come on."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, liking how Stanley's jaw dropped when I went over to her. She wasn't the only one who looked surprised. "Maybe if you wore shoes that would be easier to walk in…"

"You love my boots," she grinned. Fuck yes, I did. I'd like them better thrown over my shoulders. "Besides," Bella continued, lighting her cigarette, "I can walk in them just fine. I can even run if I have too. I'm just lazy."

"You owe me, Swan."

And then she blew my mind. She fucking curtseyed.

"You're right," she looked up at me through her lashes. My cock all but raged against the zipper of my pants. "I owe you five steps. I humbly bow to your aggressive masculinity. Satisfied?"

"Not yet." I grinned.

"Bella!" Alice barreled into her, throwing her arm around Bella's waist. I snickered at how uncomfortable she looked.

"Uh, hi."

"You look fantastic! You're still feeling okay?"

I noticed that she shifted her cigarette away from Alice. Small things like that made me want to _know her_. Consideration was a rare trait. The two had gotten to be pretty close.

Their friendship opened a whole new set of worries. I didn't fuck Alice's friends, not anymore. Granted, Alice kept finding excuses for Bella and I to be together. I had tried to keep my distance. Aside from inviting her over to the house, where we were certain to be under the influence of something… I had been pretty good.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Really. Getting conked on the head is a pretty normal occurrence," she shrugged self-consciously. "You should have seen me a few years ago. I couldn't walk anywhere without falling into something."

"What changed?" Alice asked.

"I practice yoga. And I've found that if I don't concentrate so hard on every step I take, its much easier to… you know, function like a normal person." She did yoga? How fucking flexible was she?

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"Oh no," she looked down. "It was pretty bad."

"Okay," I cut in, "so how are we doing this? We're doing shots tonight. Will your dad be cool with you staying over?"

"For the night?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah. Think you can sneak past Charlie while drunk and… other things?"

"I, well, I-"

"I've got it taken care of, guys." When Alice bounced, Bella shook lightly with each of her small jumps.

I wanted to laugh. She looked so confused.

"I'll drive to your place around seven-thirty," Alice explained. "I can talk to your dad, get him to let you stay over."

"Make sure you mention that someone, aside from us, will be home. Charlie won't let me go anywhere without parental supervision," Bella said, rallying.

"Not a problem, I've got this covered," Alice reassured her.

"Ok?"

"Great. We'll see you later."

"That you will," she replied.

I chucked my cigarette into the bushes and walked to my car. I'd probably pay for it somehow later. One more stunning outfit and I'd be on my knees. It did, however, feel good to be the one to walk away. Let her stare after me for a change.

******Authors Note:**  
I don't think I'll be switching POV's again like I did in this chapter. Not sure why it happened. Bella and Edward have dominant personalities. When they want to speak, I don't stop them.

******Authors Note:  
Tiderider****-**  
Tthank you!  
******Clary Shadows-**  
I'm glad you found it amusing! ^_^ I don't have any pictures on my profile, do the links not work? If I copy them and paste them on the main page, will I still have to edit the 's?  
******Queenyuks****-**  
Thank you for the review! I love them! How does the story confuse you? Because, chances are, you're not the only one. I know it's a little disjointed sometimes, I'm trying to show their confusion and the new-ness of their 'relationship.' If there's anything I can do to fix things so its easier to understand, let me know. Ill get right on that.  
******Ridonculus-****  
**:D! Hahaha, no. I'm doing my best to keep Bella from flipping out in frustration and I'm trying to keep Edward from slipping into Canon-Edward. I like to think there are a few similar personality quirks, but I also like to think that he's darker, edgier.


	7. A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Action

**Chapter 7  
- A Little Less Talk And A Lot More Action  
**

**Authors Note: **  
I do not own the Twilight Saga or any of the characters.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**I think I've changed the layout of their house. I try to get some of the main details incorporated into the story, but I'm pretty sure that their bedrooms aren't where they're supposed to be. Whoops? Don't hate me for this Playlist. I have family in the south and I like country music in addition to other things. Whatever, haha.

**Playlist  
**http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Louisiana Hot Sauce**- Sammy Kershaw  
**I Like It, I Love It**- Tim McGraw  
**A Little Less Talk and A Lot More Action**- Toby Keith  
**So Hott- **Kid Rock 

**Bella's Point of View**

Something was going to happen between Edward and I, of that I was pretty sure. How many 'fuck me' stares could a guy give without acting on them? And, for some reason, I was the one receiving those looks from Edward Cullen.

I had overheard, and a few people hadn't hesitated to joke about Edward having gotten to me already. They didn't mean the friendship growing between Edward and I. Angela approached me as I was getting into my truck. She welcome me to Forks, said that she remembered me from when we had gone to school together. Then she asked me what my secret was. How had I gotten Edward Cullen to show so much interest? Did I know him from somewhere other than Forks?

Unfortunately, I didn't know what she was talking about. I was going to hang with him and his sister. It wasn't exactly date night material. As for having met Edward somewhere else… I'm pretty sure I'd remember someone like him. Two days in, he had left a huge impact.

It was strange, she informed me, that Edward had invited me to their house. I learned that he had somewhat of a reputation with the attractive females at FHS. Hanging out, however, wasn't something he did with people. I had plenty to think about on the drive home. Edward had saved me, twice. He wanted to spend time smoking with me, and aside from his appreciative looks, he hadn't made a move.

Then again, there hadn't been many opportunities for him. At the hospital? A day after I'd been injured, Alice having been a part of the catastrophe; I didn't blame her in any way for what happened. Edward seemed to feel that he owed me for helping her out of the way. I didn't want to be put in the Friends-Only category. If that were my only option, I would take it in a heartbeat. With the looks Edward had been sending my way, I didn't think I was at that point yet. I _had_ been sending a few back his way. Who could resist? He was hot in a 'too good to be true' sort of way. Now that I had been given this lifetime opportunity; why not act on it? I wasn't going to push anything, though. Tonight, I was going dressed down.

Wearing an old, faded pair of jeans, a fairy tank-top, and a tight black hoodie- I planned on keeping the one he'd given me- I looked good without it seeming as though I had tried. My legs were smooth, shaved. I wore scented body lotion, and I had broken out the good lingerie. He didn't necessarily need to know those things, but I wanted to be prepared for anything. Smelling good and looking cute had never hurt anyone.

"Bells?" Charlie appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "A friend of yours is here."

"Thanks!" I tucked mango lip-gloss into my pocket.

"Bella!" Alice caught my attention as I came down the staircase. "I'm sorry to barge in so suddenly…"

"No problem. Is everything alright?" I went along with her alarmed tone. Alice was the one running this show.

"Yes, absolutely," she smiled wickedly. "You're coming shopping with me."

"No," I said automatically. Whoops, I was supposed to be agreeing. I heard Charlie snort. He was relaxing with his newspaper now that the potential crisis had been averted.

"C'mon, Bella, please? I need new school stuff. I'm so far behind… did you see what Jessica was wearing? Oh my god." With her back to Charlie, he couldn't see Alice's facial expressions. I, on the other hand, was directly in his line of sight. I did my best to keep a straight face as Alice stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes.

"I don't like shopping," I admitted. That helped keep me somewhat serious. I hated malls and discount stores alike. Renee had spent countless hours modeling clothes for me. I was supposed to help her pick one of the twenty potential outfits. We couldn't afford any of them, but Renee liked to buy something new each month to 'keep his interest.' She paid with plastic. One of the most helpful ideas of my adolescence had been applying for some of my own.

Funny how credit card companies, the ones without major names, don't check forms. I had a credit card by the time I was seventeen. It was easy to get a second one after I established a few months of making payments on-time. Rosalie had helped in that regard. Her mother never checked the mail. I used their address and submitted payments every month with money I had made carting drugs. My bank account was nicely stocked, I could live alone for a few months if needed.

"You don't…" she trailed off uncertainly. "Really? Shopping?"

"Um, kinda."

"We can watch a movie after, you know? Eat ice-cream, talk? I bet you haven't really met anyone yet. And… I just happen to make a great friend."

"I can already tell." I grinned at her. Playing the 'you have no friends' card in front of dad. Nicely done. "Hey," I plopped down next to Charlie. "Mind if I go out with Alice for awhile?"

"Where would you be going?" His newspaper dropped slightly. The interrogation was on; I hoped Alice was prepared for Charlie's full questionnaire.

"Port Angeles," Alice replied openly. "There are tons of good stores there. Although, if we don't find anything… I guess we'd come back here. Or we can browse internet sites and I'm sure something will-"

"So, your house then?" Charlie had interrupted gently. He seemed to understand that Alice would continue speaking until stopped, or redirected. I also liked how he had changed the final deciding place. He would be uncomfortable with so much girl talk around him, so, naturally, Alice's was the home of choice. That was Dad.

"If that's okay? I mean, we can always come back here if you'd prefer. I bet you have good fashion sense, Chief Swan."

"Uh, no," he scooted backwards. "What you buy, er, whatever you- I'm sure it'll be fine. You don't need an old man's input, right, Bells?"

"Well, I dunno. I'm kinda having a crisis right now. Do you think these shoes go with my pants? The end result works in my favor, right, Dad?"

"What time will you be coming home?" I looked to Alice, biting my lip to keep from smiling. Alice intensified her puppy-dog-eye look.

"Well… if it's cool… I just thought of it now. Could Bella stay overnight? It's girls evening; Edward and Carlisle are planning something at the hospital. My mom, Esme- you know her, Chief Swan?"

"Yeah…"

"She'll be home- oh!" She turned her attention back to me, bouncing happily on the couch. "Maybe we can make cookies. I love fresh-baked cookies when I watch movies."

Charlie was struggling not to laugh, I could tell. Years of being a cop saved him, but he didn't try to hide the amusement in his eyes. Alice switched back to Dad. "But, anyway, can she stay for the night? Please, please? It'll be so much fun. And, hey, Bella- you can help with dance plans!"

"Dance plans?" I asked.

"Yeah! There's going to be a formal in a few weeks. Me and the committee are discussing themes and decorations. Your ideas would be more than welcome."

"Bella? Can I see you in the kitchen for a minute? A dish… burning… I-" Charlie took a step backwards with every word. With the last he had ducked into the other room.

It felt good sharing a girl moment with Alice, convincing my father to let me go out- everything seemed normal, easy. With all of the rules and guidelines Charlie had set, I still felt more free than I had in years. The fact that he hadn't laid down the law, drill sergeant style, really helped. We had both discussed, negotiated, and vetoed all of the rules. That way, he pointed out, I'd have to follow them since I had managed to whittle a few of them down to the bone.

Instead of being asleep by eleven, since curfew for weekdays was ten, I could stay up as long as I wanted provided I gave him no grief about waking for school. I had been setting my own alarm for years. Running on two hours of sleep at a time, I had gotten through most of high-school. It was difficult for me to sleep eight whole hours in a row. Moving had taken its toll, but I was back to My normal sleeping patterns. Lying there in the dark, tossing and turning, because 'light's out' started at eleven… no way.

Charlie made me agree that if I displayed insomniac behavior, or if a lack of sleep started to affect my physical appearance, he would assert Dad Authority. That was fine by me. I didn't foresee any problems. Deep down, I actually liked that he was retaking the Father role. Compared to Renee… it might have been stereotypical, but I liked having Charlie back as he'd been before the divorce.

Alice squeezed my arm as I stood. "Tell your Dad that I love his house."

"Thanks, Alice," we both heard him say.

"You wanted to talk?" I walked into the kitchen and tried to keep my voice down.

"Yeah," Charlie rubbed his neck. "Do you want to go to this, uh, girl's night thing?"

"I don't need to…" Judging by the way he was standing, I could tell he was worried. Maybe it was too soon for me to propose staying away from home. He was just getting used to me being around, I didn't want to disrupt the easy peace.

"I-"

"It's alright, really," I insisted. "Not a problem." I could have killed for some mary-jane and alcohol, but I couldn't partake knowing that my relationship with Charlie was on the rocks. It wasn't worth fighting over now. "I have books to read, homework to do… no worries, Dad."

"I think you should go," he said suddenly. "Reading and studying are important. I've seen your report cards, I know the time you've put in…" He looked even more uncomfortable now. I couldn't think of a reason why he should be. Was this going to be an awkward sex talk? "You always did tend to keep to yourself. I know you're not much into shopping or dances, at least you weren't…"

"Not a huge fan, no," I agreed with him.

"But maybe you could use a friend or two. You've been here almost three weeks now and I don't ever see you leave the house. Not that I mind your being around, but this is your senior year. Live a little, no?"

"If it's okay with you," I grinned. "I like Alice, too."

"Oh, and Bells?"

I paused at the doorway, "Yes?"

"I don't know if you were lookin' for an excuse to avoid going out," he kept his voice very low, "or if you actually wanted to go to this thing and didn't know how to tell me…"

"The second," I reassured him. "I do like my alone time, but I'm a little more social now than I was in the past. Alice seems like she really will become a close friend."

"Good," Charlie unfolded his arms. "Either way, I appreciate meeting your friends, but next time? Just ask, alright?"

"Alright," I laughed. "For one, I didn't have a sleep-over planned. Second, Alice was meant to be seen as motivational, not manipulative. Sorry, Dad"

"Shopping, baking, and planning a dance," he chuckled. "Throw sports in and you've set your own punishment."

**o . o . o**

"Bella… fuck-" Edward raked his hand through his hair and sighed. "Which would you prefer?"

"I don't have a preference," I responded for the third time.

"Obviously you fucking _do_," he said ever-so-patiently.

"Okay, fine," I admitted. "Too much visual stimuli fucks with my high." The infinite debate of movie versus music, I was a stranger in the house. I shouldn't have been the one to choose.

"So you want music?"

"It only happens sometimes, though. We can watch a movie if that's what you guys prefer."

"Edward," Alice laughed at he stared at me, probably counting to ten in his head. "Just put your I-pod on shuffle. You guys smoke, we'll drink, and when we're bored we can put a DVD on."

"Sounds good to me," I sat cross-legged on the floor glad that I had worn jeans.

"We've got plenty of alcohol to pick from. No decisions need to be made right now," Alice added.

"What music drinking games are there? Wouldn't the movie be easier?" I didn't think before I asked. Edward straightened slowly leveling a murderous stare in my direction. It made me laugh, I couldn't help myself. Irritating him had become my new favorite past-time.

I had been given the grand tour by Alice. Apparently Carlisle really had been called to the hospital due to an emergency. Esme was home, but nowhere near this wing of the house. Yes, Alice and Edward had their own rooms. They, separately, were the size of our dining and living room. To get from one to the other, I'd have to cross their television area, the entry hall, and their kitchen. The family definitely wasn't living on a moderate income level. They had state-of-the art everything. From the plasma T.V, to the HD one in Alice's room- I had yet to see Edward's- the towels in their bathroom looked like they had never been used.

Despite the show-home appearance, their house felt like home. The furniture was expensive, but used often. Even their kitchen, with all of the gleaming appliances, felt welcome and cheery. Esme had situated flowers randomly throughout the house. With the floor to ceiling windows, it gave the house a vibrant, energetic aura that made me feel instantly comfortable.

"You're fucking with me, right?" Edward hadn't been very talkative, yet he _had_ smiled again. I was beyond shocked when he'd turned that roguish, crooked grin my way in school. The effects were devastating. He still looked lethal. More handsome than sexy, in a way. His eyes brightened a little, still cynical, but I saw his surprise lurking in the deeper blue shades. What was the reason for it?

"Let me explain," Alice paused for dramatic effect. "You get to ask one question directed at anyone playing. If they answer, you take a shot. If they refuse to answer, they take two shots. Easy enough, right?"

"Yeah," Edward quirked an eyebrow at her. He hadn't turned the challenge down, though. Judging from the way he looked, body language closed off, eyes narrowed, there were things he didn't want to share. Hell, there were a few facts I wasn't keen on talking about, too.

I looked around Alice's room to avoid direct eye-contact. I could feel him looking at me though I'm sure he wasn't doing it noticeably. Her room was decorated in dark purple and light blue. The bedcover, carpet, even the paint on her ceiling and walls matched. There were collages hung in various places within her room. Some were dark, others light; she had printed quotes, clipped magazine pictures, saved odds and ends from her childhood. I thought they were interesting and I wanted to examine them more closely, but I felt the subject too personal for a first visit. They reminded me of my journals; yes, they were in my room, but I didn't want anyone flipping through them.

"Once a question's been accepted, or turned down, feel free to answer. That way we don't end up with double questions."

"That's cheap," Edward rolled his eyes.

"You guys are smoking," Alice pointed out. "You won't have anywhere near regular alcohol tolerance."

"Who goes first?" he asked.

"I say Bella goes first. You're going to be the one rolling, right?"

"Remember how this whole argument started? You put me in charge. No way," I vetoed.

"Totally," Alice supported her statement. "I get to pick the music, Edward's going to be busy. That leaves you."

"Agreed," Edward pulled out a rather large tin, a Dutch, and my small lighter. "My pipe broke a few days ago. You mind smoking a blunt?"

"Not at all."

The room had contained a mix of light perfume, candles, and apple-scented air freshener. Now all I could smell was the bottle of Captain that Alice had opened. Oh, very nice. Captain Morgan and Jack Daniels.

Other than that, much to my dismay, I was gravitating toward Edward. Like the Axe commercials promised, I was trying to get closer to him. Unlike the commercials, sadly, I wasn't on top of him or rubbing against him. I was three inches nearer from when I first sat down, but progress was still slow.

He just looked so fucking hot. Wearing black jeans, torn at one knee, combat boots, and a white undershirt… I wanted to strip him down and see his nipple piercing up close and personal. I was going to start panting in a second. What other piercings did he have?

"This is for Edward, I guess," I used the first, non-perverted question I could think of. "What drugs have you done other than Mary Jane?"

"Never cocaine," he said firmly. "Other than that? Acid, a bunch of other shit I can't name. To a lesser extent, cough medicine, pain killers, different colored pills. I had a lot of time on my hands."

"Pain meds, nothing else for me. I'm clean," Alice replied as I looked to her. Well good, one of us would be able to get a white-collar job. With no addictions, Alice was one of the purest people I had ever met. Edward had warned me that Alice didn't drink often, and when she did, three or four shots would have her sleeping peacefully.

"I've never tried coke either," I sighed as they both waited. "Pain-killers, cough medicine. I never got a chance to try acid, missed my opportunity." I did my required shot. Captain Morgan to start with, yum. Three weeks of milk for breakfast and soda for lunch. I let the taste run across my taste buds, I reveled in the grimace to come. There it is, I laughed as warmth curled in my stomach.

"This for Bella," Alice seemed pleased with herself as she put down the I-pod. "What's your real name? That includes the middle one, if you've got."

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"It's pretty," she huffed. "I'm plain Mary Alice Brandon Cullen."

"That's an interesting name," I argued. Charlie had mentioned something about adoption. I'd test the waters, maybe I could work it in as a question.

"You're not plain," Edward retorted. "I'm Edward Anthony Cullen."

Okay, so he didn't want to talk about it. Fine by me.

"Bella-"

I felt my breath hitch. Watching his fingers roll the paper, I knew the next step. My stomach clenched with anticipation. Metal glinted, he licked his lips before running his tongue across the brown paper. Right this moment Edward Anthony Cullen would taste of strawberries. Damn rolling papers, they tasted so good, even better coming directly from him. I met his eyes and quickly looked away. At least I hadn't whipped my head around, I could play it off as if I hadn't noticed. This wasn't a problem. I wasn't thinking dirty thoughts of Alice's brother in her bedroom.

"Oh!" Alice cut in apologetically, not seeming to have noticed. "No lying is allowed. I thought I should clarify. Sorry."

"No problem," I shrugged. I hadn't planned to lie, there wasn't a point. I'd do the extra shot, lying took too much effort. I didn't want to remember 'stories' around them, I wanted to give real friendship a try.

"Exile, vacation, or voluntary?" One shot and he was incomprehensible. Sweet, I had this bitch owned.

"Beg your pardon?" I asked.

"The reason you came to Forks, Washington," he replied. "Nobody moves here. They're either from around here or they're banished as punishment."

"Oh," well damn. So much for an easy win. "Voluntary exile."

"What does that mean?" My pulse raced. His tongue flicked across the paper one last time Shit. Why did it seem so sexual? Was he doing it on purpose? Of course he was. I didn't need to ask twice. "Alice," I berated myself internally for being a coward. "He's breaking the rules."

"I've got the weed," Edward replied smoothly. Running the lighter back and forth a few times, he lit the end and inhaled. I think I salivated a little. The smell hit me and familiar lassitude spread within me just from memory.

"My mother remarried a few years ago. Her husband and I don't get along. I decided to reunite with my dad here in Forks, end of story," I held my hand out expectantly.

"Acceptable," he passed the blunt to me. Ohhhh yes. Hell-the-fuck-o. I even inhaled a little with my nose. I missed Rosalie and her friends. Relaxing, not having to be anywhere, free to enjoy music and conversation and the high. It was such a happy feeling, the one that spread throughout my mind. Tension I hadn't been aware of eased away, I rested back on my elbows and smiled.

If Edward and I had been alone, I would have tempted him with the blunt. Then he'd come over to get it, settle across my body, and… There it was again. Giddy happiness. This was too good to be true. Any second from now and I'd be awoken by Phil's pounding at my bedroom door. I would eat a bowl of watery oatmeal, shower as the parents left for work, change into my real clothes, and- a new addition to my routine- I'd arm up.

The second hit tasted even better. My body was a riot of happiness. True relaxation, only obtained through weed, was only moments away.

"Been a while?" Alice giggled, Edward's eyes were nearly jade. Had I really moaned aloud? Whoopsie…

"You have no idea how long," I replied. Edward's gaze seemed to sharpen. He looked as though he would say something, but he handed the blunt back over, silently. Too late now, might as well just roll with it. I giggled to myself at the almost-pun. This shit was really, really good. I could feel the effects after only two pulls. "Alice," I asked, "do you have any tattoo's or tattoo's in your honor?"

"I don't, no." She turned Edward's arm, nearly singing her hair, "This one is mine. Edward got her for me."

I was right. The Lolita girl. What had happened to them that had warranted such a dark depiction? Or was her dark side how Edward viewed himself? Regardless of whatever meaning it contained, the artwork was spectacular.

"I have ten," Edward passed it back to me. "And as to the second part, hell, I hope not."

"I've got six," I said around smoke. "My mom had one done when I turned sixteen." He had ten? I could see four; where were the rest?

Speaking of four, I was almost done.

Colors seemed brighter. Words slowed to the point where I could make out every pitch, each cadence. Alice's voice was clear, melodic and bright as she hummed to the song. Edward's was rougher, from smoking so much, no doubt. I loved it. Husky, deep; I could listen to him speak all day. So much emotion was conveyed in the small sentences he used. More expression came from the way he moved. The way he'd instinctively jerked back as Alice showed me his arm, almost burning himself in order to keep her safe.

At the hospital, when he had made his allegiance clear. Edward was a man of his word. I didn't know how deep that part of him ran, but he'd sided with me against his father because of his promise. I'd never forget how he had shielded me with his body, pulled Tyler off me. He had even caught me in the hallway today because of Jessica damn Stanley. His arm had curled hard around my waist, the world spun, and next thing I knew- I was looking at his back. When he moved away from Jessica, I realized why. He had saved me again.

And then, instead of saying thank you, I had challenged him in front of the entire school. That he _had_ deserved. He'd basically called me quick in front of them all. When he walked toward me, an obvious first judging by several shocked reactions, I knew that he had an honor code, as well. He had made it abundantly clear that he never chased after any chick. Yet the distance between us closed, he let me lead the way out of school… For a person who didn't date, he had been awfully concerned about saving my reputation.

"I'm good," I took my last two hits and handed it back to him. Electricity raced up my arm. I might have moaned again. Fuck. He hadn't even really touched me. Had he felt the… whatever it was that had made my every nerve stand on end? His eyes widened, locked on mine. I'd say yes, yes he had. I felt similar twinges from every guy I'd been attracted to sexually. Yet with Edward, the feeling was stronger than it had ever been.

I might not be a fan of hand-holding, but touch meant a lot to me. I wasn't comfortable with reaching out to people, which made physical contact started by someone else really nice. Inadvertently, Edward had sparked my interest the moment he touched me. I could remember what happened at the hospital. The worry in his eyes as he shielded me from view, made sure I was safe. Then again today, the way he had moved me, as though I weighed nothing.

I wanted him to do it again, but for a different reason. If we ever got the chance to be alone… the strength in his arms and hips… fuck, he'd feel amazing. The image in my head made me want to rake my nails down something. His back, his chest, the parts of his arms not covered in black ink.

"Can I ask one quick question? I'll pay the price," I offered.

"Sure," Alice nodded.

"Edward, this strain we smoked… body high, right?"

"Little of both," he said carefully. "Why?"

"No reason," I grinned. "I was just curious. Sorry, Alice." She made a pft sound. Edward narrowed his eyes at me, trying to decide something for himself. Body high, yes, I was incredibly turned on. Did he feel the same way? Did Mary Jane affect him in the same way?

"What's your favorite song, Bella?" Alice took her shot, nose crinkling as she reached for a water bottle. Some of the haze cleared as I thought about her question. Both Edward and I were breathing hard. I could always say it was because of the pot, the reaction was pretty common. It was the sign of a really good high.

"Depends on the day, I guess."

"Good answer," she giggled.

"I agree," Edward exhaled smoke quickly before taking one last hit. He clipped it and carefully placed it within the container. His fingers were calloused, I almost shivered.

Water was a good idea. I was buzzed, but not even tipsy yet. The pot was making it difficult to concentrate. There were so many things to look at in Alice's room. Her perfume bottles were all differently shaped; necklaces, bracelets, and earrings were thrown all across her dresser.

Country music was playing, I hope my accent didn't change. It was a little embarrassing, but I'd always had a knack for accents. Watching movies with actors and British dialects was a bad idea for me. I liked this song, though. It was sexy. I moved to the beat and sang along. This was fantastic and safe. Edward had reassured me that we wouldn't be caught.

Carlisle was Fork's finest surgeon. No one was coming to peek in their bedrooms. Even then, nothing would be found. Edward had a private drawer in which he kept illegal substances. This could become a weekly occurrence at the least. I could be happy and free and normal all at once. I laid down on my back, head resting on a pillow, and stared at the dark swirls of color made by Alice's ceiling fan.

There was the thrill of someone new and interesting. Pheromones and endorphins aside, I felt more alive and refreshed than I had in years. Life was good.

**Authors Note:**  
Yes, I decided to split this chapter into two parts. I want Edward's point of view on the remaining questions and especially on what's to happen later on. Possible lemon warning. Do any of you want to ask anything? Either from Bella's or Edward's view-points, doesn't matter. I can always have one of them bring it up later.

**Authors Note 2:  
Queenyuks-**  
Thanks for the reply! I'll try to be more clear as I'm writing. Sorry, and if there are any more confusing moments, let me know. =) Thanks for the support, too, I'm glad you're continuing to like the story!  
**Tiderider**-  
Hahaha, thanks very much!  
**Twirocks-  
**I plan to, lol, thanks very much for the review! They make me happy and motivate me, I love hearing what I'm doing right, wrong, etc.

I hope ya'll enjoy the music, also. Though if you want to 'hear' a song, let me know which you have in mind. I'm always looking for new songs, new bands, etc.


	8. You Look Good In My Shirt

**Chapter 8  
- You Look Good In My Shirt**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
So Hott- **Kid Rock  
**You Look Good In My Shirt**- Keith Urban  
**Use Me**- Hinder  
**Lonely No More**- Rob Thomas

**Edward's Point of View**

I stopped taking shots, no one had noticed. The weed was really getting to me. I had sprung for some of the more expensive shit. I could afford it, but why bother when the regular stuff got me high? No, for a guest, for Bella, I'd go all out. It would last a good while provided I mixed the strains well.

This had been a really bad idea. Alice had been right about weed and alcohol. I was almost tipsy, and I didn't trust myself to be around Bella. She smelled too good, I knew what she would taste like. This was Alice's new best friend. Such a bad idea. But it hadn't seemed to be, at first. Drinking with Alice, smoking with Bella, spending time together as though we were normal fucking friends. Yeah, it was kinda nice. And then I brought the pot out. I had promised, after all.

The problem? Mary Jane turns me on.

"I love this song," Bella broke the silence. I couldn't get enough of this chick. The sight of her damn knee was turning me on. Her skin was so pale, so fucking soft looking. I wanted to know what it felt like, especially if she were pressed against me as I climbed on top of her… did she have to lay with her legs crossed? All I had to do was part her knees; no, first I needed to get her the fuck out of this room and into mine.

Two of her fingers snagged through her belt-loop, her hand in the pocket. The other she smoked a cigarette with. I don't know how I managed to restrain myself. Watching her shiny lips wrapping around the blunt had been difficult enough. Seeing her eyes roll back, hearing her fucking moan at the first hit, I had to take a shot. Maybe the alcohol would dull my senses. I hoped so. That way, I wouldn't be able to pin-point the faint scar on her knee with sniper accuracy.

Bella was holding nothing back. The guarded look in her eyes was gone. She regarded us openly, prepared to answer every question honestly. That was more than I could say for myself. I wouldn't lie, but I'd probably end up taking a shit-load of shots.

_"You've got a body like the devil and you smell like sex,"_ she sang, hips moving to the bass.

Things had been easy enough so far. My tattoos really interested her. It went deeper than the pure sex looks I'd gotten because of them. I saw confusion and questions when she studied my Alice-girl, more when she looked over the rest.

_"So hot, I wanna to get you stoned."_ She was entirely too good at this game. Looking down her body at me, still moving her hips, she unzipped her hoodie before resting both hands behind her head. _"I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again."_ If that wasn't a damn invitation, I didn't know what was. Fuck.

One song slid into the next. Fucking Alice, I glanced over at her expecting to see a mischievous smile. No such luck. She was curled on her side, dead to the world. I realized that she probably planned for the night to end this way. Her enthusiasm for Bella had been abnormal. Alice had tried to set me up with friends before, but never had she been so manipulative about it. From the 'sleep-over' to the suggestive songs, providing liquor… I'd fallen for Alice's bigger plan.

I thought of Bella huddled in my jacket, knife in her hand, ready to fight. She had argued with the emergency medical team, fought with me, and... was released early. As though to further prove that she was tough, she'd appeared in school the next day. Fucking well-dressed and feisty, Bella Swan didn't coddle wounds or whine.

"Undead monkey, what the hell was that about?" Thinking of her wearing my hoodie; papaya and vanilla filtered through Alice's room. The blunt had tasted like tropical fruit, too. When I got my jacket back, which I noticed she hadn't brought with her, it too would smell like her.

"What?" Bella laughed.

"At the hospital, you mentioned an undead monkey. What did that have to do with anything?" Her line from the other day ran through my head.

"I… don't know what you're talking about."

Now I'd never have an answer. I had finished my cigarette long ago. No more alcohol for me, so I had to get my fun elsewhere. I lit the blunt again and took three deep hits, one after the other.

Bella rolled onto her stomach, I saw pink. She was wearing a light pink bra. Smoke got redirected somehow and I ended up dry coughing. Did her panties match? She looked up at me and licked her lips. Her eyelashes were so long, her cheeks were flushed, and the tank-top was doing its job of covering what I wanted to see.

"Why did you step in for me at the hospital?" Her eyes didn't leave mine as she took the blunt from me. I switched it for her cigarette and held it loosely, ready to trade when she was done. Mango again; what was with her and fruit? Why did I want to taste her every time she came within a foot from me?

"You helped us." I watched as she licked her lips again before exhaling. My turn. "Why did you take the fall for Alice?"

"I don't know, didn't really think about it," she laughed. "Tyler would've really hurt her. He's all muscle."

"Why-"

"No, you just went," she motioned to the shot glasses. "Why did you step in for me at school?"

"Which time?"

"Precisely." She took her shot quickly, slamming the glass back onto the carpet.

"I don't know," I took mine, it would be fine. "I didn't want to deal with you being pissed because… I don't know. If one of your heels broke or something."

"Likely story," she rolled her eyes. "Fine, be all cryptic about it. I don't care."

Bella took one last hit of the blunt, a smile spreading across her face as she closed her eyes slowly. Yeah, she was done. I was beginning to notice the signs.

"I'm good," she took the cigarette back, just as I had predicted. I took two last hits; my body sang, cried. Sensations were so much more intense. Bella flipped through Alice's I-pod as I struggled not to snarl. A sliver of pink. Right where her shirt rode up at the waist, the tiniest bit of pink against her translucent flesh.

"Pirates," she grabbed my ankle. "That's what I meant at the hospital."

"Pirates," I echoed. Surprise had made my heart beat faster. The surprise spawned from the fact that I hadn't jolted when she reached for me. Me and seeing sudden movements... the end result wasn't usually a good one. I hadn't even moved... I'd have to think about that later.

"Yes! You said something like, 'Top that.' It's from one of my favorite movies."

"That's… random as fuck," I laughed.

She slid her eyes across my face, down my chest. My skin tingled in response. "You kinda look like a pirate."

"What does that mean?"

"Well… you've got the take-no-prisoner's attitude; you'd look fucking hot as hell at the wheel of a ship. I really like pirates," she laughed. "Ignore me, I'm not making much sense."

"It's fine," I grinned. "You were saying?"

"Things that absurdly inflate your ego most likely," she waved a hand. "Where are your other tattoos?" She was a happy smoker, good. I'd dealt with my share of depressed high people. Somehow I hadn't pictured Bella being the wallowing type.

It was easy enough to answer. Throwing my shirt aside, I turned so she could see. The tribal along my right arm curled up and across the back of my shoulder blade. The black ink framed the silhouette of a small cardinal. Holly branches, also in tribal, hung to the side of its head. She had seen my Alice-girl tattoo, the Reaper and skeleton, too. I didn't count the symbols separately, I'd gotten them done all at the same time. Her fingertips skimmed across my ribs sending electricity shooting across my chest, lower.

It had been rather shitty of me to up the stakes so high. Part of me hoped we could involve stripping in our question game. No, another really bad idea. Don't even suggest it, I warned myself.

"Dates," she said with surety.

"Which will cost me eight shots to talk about." I had three specific days marked onto me in remembrance. One for my mother, one for the day they had tried to take Alice, and one for the day Carlisle had adopted us. The numbers worked vertically, too, at least in two cases. One for the day my biological father died and one for the day it all went to hell. The three lines were all inked in different styles, different fonts. I had small figures next to some of the end numbers, strange designs connected the ones that belonged together.

"I'm sorry," she said simply, tracing the lines.

"Shit happens," I shrugged. "What other tattoos do you have?"

"It wouldn't be appropriate to show you," she laughed.

What did that mean? Of all the days for her to wear pants, of course it would be today.

"What if I went one for one with you? You want to see mine? Do you want to know about them, too?"

"Sure," I replied, warily.

"Good, I show you one, you explain one. You should still have three that I haven't seen yet."

"What happens when you run out?"

"You can decline four questions, so save'em, cowboy."

Pirates, cowboys; what were her other turn-on's? Vampires, maybe? Chicks seemed to go for all three. I knew how to ride a horse, I wasn't against sex or biting, and I could sail a boat and fish, if that counted for anything. Halloween _was_ approaching.

"Deal." I stood, bracing myself for the high to catch up with me. We had to relocate, no fucking way was I doing this in Alice's bedroom. She wouldn't wake up, but it still wasn't happening. Bella seemed to agree. She held onto one of the bedposts as she got to her feet.

"Whoa," she laughed. "That shit's really, really good."

"I know," I handed her the bottles.

"No, wait. What about Alice?" Fucking mind-reader. I had purposefully given her the alcohol so I'd be able to lift Alice into her bed. If anyone were sleeping on the floor, it'd probably be me.

_... Fuck that, you have a couch._ Days of sleeping on the ground were over, I didn't need the old me to say anything else.

Alice smiled as I covered her with one of the blankets. Only I understood Alice's inane amount of afghans. She collected them, some she had carted with her for years. They were the only thing she had of a home before I found her. I kept buying them for her because they made her happy.

"Why that bracelet?" I took the bottles from Bella, pocketed the weed, and sprayed some air-freshener on the way to my bedroom. Good thing I had cleaned earlier. Not that she needed to know, but I'd also put fresh sheets on my bed.

"Which one?" She held up her arms showing me a vast array of jewelry.

"This," I ran my finger along the warm metal.

"I like handcuffs," she winked and opened my door.

It was a pretty regular room, I hadn't gone overboard or anything. I used my money wisely, with a few exceptions. Television was a necessity, and a good stereo. I can remember days I wouldn't have gotten through without one or the other. My computer had the basics- Word, the Internet, and Solitaire. I'd downloaded a song writing program a few months ago, but I hadn't done anything serious with it. Not yet. Maybe before the year was out, I'd get around to it.

"Bathroom?"

"Uh, down the hall. First door on your left," I assume that's what she meant.

"Thanks," she took a deep breath. "I'll be right back then."

What the hell was I doing? Had I intentionally plied her with alcohol and pot in order to seal the deal? Totally not my style. No, so long as nothing happened, my reputation was intact. Not that it mattered anymore, Bella had walked all over my pride on several occasions. I was on uneven ground and I hated it. I needed to regain my bearings and I needed to do it fucking quickly.

"Wow," Bella was back. She stared at my bookshelves as though I'd just given her a winning lottery ticket. "I had to leave so many of my books in Phoenix. I'm still waiting for them." There was bitterness in her tone. I wanted to know the reason for it, but she had avoided asking in-depth, personal questions. I could offer her the same courtesy; fuck me if I didn't really want to know, though.

"Feel free to take what you want. I know where to find you."

"Really?" She bit her lip as she stared at the floor to ceiling shelves. Most girls found my books boring, if they even noticed them at all. Not Bella Swan. Her fingertips traced the spines reverently. I saw her smile now and again as she saw something she had liked.

"Sorry," she said after about five minutes. No need to apologize, I was enjoying this. True excitement and intelligence, my room hadn't seen much of that since we'd gotten here. Bella was the first person to provide intellectual stimulation. While I'd prefer we got the physical out of the way first, I wasn't complaining.

"Take your time," I took a shot while I waited.

"Pour me one?" She was steady on her feet, for the most part. Her skin was still flushed, but her speech was clear.

"Tell me about something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," she shrugged and downed the shot. "I know that you're Edward Cullen, eighteen?"

"Nineteen now," I replied. "Almost twenty. There was a mix-up with one of the schools, I had to repeat a grade. I missed too many days due to… extenuating circumstances."

"Okay," she nodded. "You smoke, know where to get drugs. You can handle your alcohol. You look good in leather, you have a variety of band shirts, and you know how to fight. Other than that? I don't know anything about you."

"You're Bella Swan. Eighteen, I presume. You highlight words in your books and you have a thing for handcuffs. You look good in absolutely fucking everything. You don't take shit from anyone. Somehow, you know how to use a knife. Your father is the police chief, yet you have no problem smoking up with me. You're loose with money due to survival instincts. What else?"

"That about sums it up." Her eyes were neutral again.

"So tell me something real, substantial."

"Fine," she sat cross-legged on the bed next to me. "I wear the handcuff to remember… things. Rosalie has the other half. One of her friends cut them off us, it was a bad night."

"Rosalie?" Years of secret keeping had taken its toll. She spoke in a detached way, the same as I felt when something from my past was mentioned. Being vague as possible, sometimes to the point of confusion… neither of us could help doing it. I hoped, over time, Bella would know that she didn't have to hide anything from me. If anything would make her feel safe- she knew where I lived, what I was hiding, and her father was the Chief of Police. All of the rest aside, that was enough to have me sent back to New York for violation of parole. She didn't know about that part yet, I wasn't drunk enough to share.

"Rose, yes, a friend of mine from Phoenix. She saved me from getting jumped by two chicks. It started our friendship. We watched one another's backs, she bunked with me when shit was bad at home. Her home," Bella corrected immediately. "She's the one that taught me to use knives, to fight dirty. …I owe her a lot."

And with that I could see who Bella was versus who she had become. I could imagine her pale and angry, two girls cornering her. Had she fought them? How badly had she been hurt? It bothered me that she had street-fighting knowledge. The 'home' comment had been strange, but it was too early to ask about it.

Knives. Now I had the concrete evidence. It explained some of the scars on her arms. Defensive wounds, I didn't worry that Bella was depressed. The healed cuts were uneven, horizontal instead of vertical. There wasn't enough alcohol in the world… Fighting like that was unpredictable, anything could happen. There were any number of things you could do to a person that would result in maximum pain, without outright killing them. I'd taken my share of beatings, dished it out, but it had never been entirely pleasant.

And that had been without weapons.

She was alive, in front of me. I took a deep mental breath. "She sounds like a good friend," I said.

Bella neutralized her expression even more. "You don't have to feel responsible for me anymore. Today at school, you evened the odds. In fact, I probably owe you, too, for both the hospital and what happened with Stanley."

"You owe me nothing," I shook my head. "I told you, I've got your back."

"Why?" I could sense that she had more to say. True enough, "Its not an easy thing that you've promised. I mean, I'll understand if you want to step down."

I was sure she had understood what I promised. It encompassed more than my easy tone conveyed. "How prone to danger are you?"

"You really don't want to know," she grimaced. Alright, so the journey would be a little more arduous. Big deal. She'd already seen the inside of a hospital; anything after that would be easy in comparison.

She started to giggle. Bad news. Bella was the slow high type; it was all catching up with her now. I watched her do another shot- this could be very, very dangerous. "Will you share now?"

"Um… no," I laughed.

"We can hold hands and sing songs after."

"Not a huge fan of hand-holding."

"You are too," Bella smiled mischievously, "you just don't know it yet."

"Ok, how about this? I lived in New York for awhile before moving to Florida. From there I went back to New York before coming here."

"Why?" This was safe. There was even a chance that she wouldn't remember what we talked about. Getting to know her on a physical level wasn't going to be happening, yet I found myself enjoying our conversation.

"I'm sure you know that Carlisle and Esme adopted us."

"No," she looked to the side, I knew she was lying.

"Well…" I cleared my throat, not knowing how to sound less blunt, "... they did. Alice and I were living on the streets. She found me one night and refused to leave my side. She became my sister. It's not a very pretty story up until Forks, but... judging from what you told me, you haven't had the easiest time, either?"

"It's not that bad," she shrugged. "Shit happens, you know?"

"Exactly," I snorted. "I understand completely."

"I really like the way you speak," she said suddenly. "I bet you text in full words, too."

"Most of the time. Depends on who the provider is. If I can save sending four texts by cutting out letters, well…"

"Fine, point for you. I do the same. I was talking about normally. For example," she giggled again, lying sideways across the bed, "if I were to look in your phone, would you have two's and u's all over the place?"

"No," I took my phone out and placed it on the bed between us. "Check for yourself."

"I don't think so," she rolled her eyes. "I'd go blind seeing all of your text-sex messages."

"My…" I had to laugh.

"I like it," she tipped her head back and squinted at me. "You look different when you're surprised and happy."

"Uh, thanks?"

"You look good either way," she hastened to add. "Don't get me wrong, you surly and angry makes me hot. However, seeing the Edward underneath all of that is pretty hot, too."

I had to admit, Bella was refreshing. Life hadn't sucked all the joy out of her world. She could still laugh, and joke, and smile as though she meant it. She was grinning lazily, humming to the music I'd started.

"What do you do for fun? As a hobby?"

"Not delving any more into your past, huh? Fine, I'm okay with that. Hobbies?" She lit a cigarette and passed it to me before lighting one for herself.

I sprayed some air-freshener and turned on the air filter. Carlisle and Esme knew I smoked. Cigarettes, at least. They also knew that I smoked indoors next to the window. It hadn't bothered them thus far, nobody had said anything. I didn't want to contaminate the house, which is why I tried to be a little considerate.

"I… read. Sometimes I write. I used to take ballet and tap lessons, but that soon got crossed off my to-do list. My mother used to drag me to free seminars so I can speak a spattering of French and Italian. I also know some women's self-defense. That, I learned before street-fighting, and some yoga moves after the fact. I talk a lot when I'm high," she giggled.

"Its okay," I really liked this side of her. She was, I'd never say it aloud, cute. She had wrinkled her nose for most of the things she'd listed. I saw yearning on her face when she spoke of the guitar.

"Renee, that's my mom," she added factually, "would always start things and never finish them. I'm a well-rounded person because of it, but I don't know very much about any one topic."

"Sounds interesting."

"I guess," she sighed heavily and went quiet for a moment. "She was always more of a friend rather than a mom. It got annoying sometimes, but I had my freedom. Fair trade, right?"

Considering she knew something about drugs and the related business, knew her way around weapons, and had her share of scars; I'd say no. Best to keep that to myself. And what was with the 'Was'? Were they not close anymore? Well, of course not. She had clarified that. Why the fuck else would she be in Forks?

"Sure, if you say so."

"Exactly," she exhaled quietly. "What were your parents like?"

"Carlisle and Esme are my… they adopted me. That makes them my, uh, parents," I tried to keep the sharpness out of my tone. The less stressed I was about it, the less likely she was to question it. Nothing screamed 'ask me about this' like a disgusted tone or outward signs of emotional conflict.

"And they're good to you?"

"More than words can say," I meant that in every way.

"Good," she looked satisfied. "I'm happy for you then."

"You escaped a bad situation. That makes me… happy for you, as well."

"Where'd the bottle go?" she asked, looking around.

"I have no idea. I think we left it in Alice's room."

I knew damn well where it was. Drinking more of it tonight was out of the question. Depending on how many shots she'd had when I wasn't paying attention, combined with the good shit we'd smoked; I didn't know how well Bella would be come morning. Afternoon, maybe. It was nearly two in the morning.

"No way," she scoffed. "I remember you handing them to me. You didn't take your shots, either. Cheater."

"I was saving them," I fabricated, amazed that she'd noticed. "Why take it slow? Do it all at once, get it out of the way."

"That your philosophy?"

I knew where this was going. She was sprawled across my bed looking content and pleased with herself. If she hadn't been so damn cute I'd have taken advantage of this situation by now. Hell knew, I wasn't the type to forgo pleasure, especially when I was higher than I could ever remember being. It had been a really long time since I'd had good sex. It seemed Bella knew what that was like, too.

"Are you ever going to kiss me, Edward Cullen?"

"I was thinking about it," I admitted.

"A Little Less Talk And A Lot More Action," she smiled. "Alice played the song before."

"It's called respect," I defended myself. "You'd try to kick my ass come daylight if I took advantage of you now."

"Who's to say I wouldn't kick your ass for not making a move?"

"Sleep time, Bella."

"Say my name again," she taunted. Leaning up on her elbows, breasts on full display; I think I salivated a little.

I may have more self-control than most, but even I couldn't stop myself from moving across her body, settling myself between her legs, and giving her what she'd asked for. Her pale skin against the dark covers, the way she flushed when I stared at her for more than a minute. She smelled so fucking good, her skin was so soft. I had been right.

I lowered my mouth over hers, another hard to believe moment. Making-out, kissing; neither of those things usually appealed to me. Girls took things entirely too personally. A kiss to them meant an engagement ring was fucking forthcoming. Really? I just wanted to know how they tasted.

Bella was… mango, vanilla, pot, rum, and smoke. It was a fucking fantastic combination. She brought her knees up tight against my side and shifted underneath me. Fuck that felt good. _Too good,_ a little voice inside screamed. Way too fucking late, we were quickly approaching the no return point.

She swept her tongue across the piercings in my lip, laid the flat side against my tongue ring. Goddamn. My cock strained against harsh denim, she moaned. Fuck. And then she raked her nails across my back.

"Alright, that's quite fucking enough of that," I panted, trying not to press her into the mattress.

"We were just getting started," she dug her nails in and laughed as I jolted.

"You really need to stop doing that."

"This?" She fucking did it again. The one time I actually try to take a gentleman's stance, this is how I get repaid? The promise of a horrendous case of blue-balls, with her sleeping next to me for the night.

Wait. Hold on. She was going to sleep in my bed? No one but me… well, it wasn't an awful idea. I didn't want her to take the couch, I sure as fuck wasn't sleeping there. It was comfortable enough, but we were mature enough to inhabit the same space.

I moved off her and curled up on my side. Without asking, I pulled her in against me. She grumbled, but stayed still. Mentally groaning, I closed my eyes. That's what she wanted. A fight, of sorts. We'd engaged in skirmishes, but the final battle had yet to be fought. This was not the right time. I wanted to be in full control of my faculties before taking her the way she needed.

"Have you had sex before?"

She burst into laughter, "Are you serious?"

"It's a damn legitimate question."

"Yes, I've had sex before. Have you?"

I didn't even need to dignify that with a response. "You have a guy back in Phoenix?"

"No, I don't have one here, either. You have a secret girlfriend?"

"Never."

Why had I asked? Oh, it was one of my questions, right. I clarified four major things before engaging in any bedroom play. Did they have a boyfriend? I made double-damn sure that they weren't a virgin. I let them know that I wasn't the commitment type. Whatever we did was purely to satisfy a need.

"Still feel like sleeping?" She was fucking perfection. I had all but told her that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend and it wasn't a deterrent for her. Bella could handle her liquor and Mary Jane, her language could be as colorful as mine. I wanted to hear it again, something told me Bella wasn't as free with her words as she could be.

"No," I wrapped an arm around her waist. If she moved against me one more fucking time… "but we're going to anyway."

"Whatever, I'm really fucking tired anyway. Am I staying here or d'you want me to go back with Alice?"

I made up my mind. "Navigating the hallway won't be any fun in the dark."

"Well, there's always the chance for morning sex," I heard her mumble.

Jesus. Thankfully the alcohol was doing its job. I was pretty damn tired, too.

"Why are you such a badass?"

"I'm really not," I smiled against her soft hair and inhaled vanilla.

"Sure," she wrapped her hands around my wrist. One of her quirks?

"Sleep," I said quietly. If she continued speaking, tired as I was, neither of us would find sleep for at least two hours.

"Move your arm," she said suddenly.

"Why?"

"It's gonna fall asleep." She turned around, one leg between mine, her cheek cushioned against my chest. Now that my arm was safe from circulation issues, Bella was able to relax completely. I could see dark circles beneath her makeup. I mentally checked, yes, my alarm clock was turned off. She could sleep as long as she needed.

Why did she look so tired? Why hadn't I noticed it before? What disturbed her rest? And why the hell did she feel so good? I hadn't tried anything yet and here she was, regardless, sleeping with me. Was this really happening? What kind of twisted reality had I been thrown into? I didn't bother to ask myself why those questions were so important to me. They just were. Fuck it. Take each day as it comes; today promised to be one hell of a day.

**Authors Note:**  
I'll add thank you's soon! Its early as fuck and I want to get this chapter uploaded before sleep. What do ya'll think? I'm happy with Edward's character. He's badass with a strangely considerate interior. Why? What is he hiding? Who influenced him- despite everything he's seen, and has yet to talk about- to behave so nicely to women? And Bella, guarded as she is, I'm surprised she was so comfortable around him. Then again, however many shots later and a few hits of MJ and I'm pretty fuckin' comfy around people, too. I'll have to go back over this chapter for hidden signals I've missed, but I think I conveyed emotions through their body-language. I hope so.  
I also expect Bella to have a more in-depth POV about their first kiss. Edward, I think, was too much in shock for there to be a good description.  
What do you guys think of the story? Is it original enough, not too cliché? I know that there are bound to be some stereotypical things; its true of people in life, too, at least in my experience. I know a few tattooed, leather-clad, bad boy types. They're protective, die-with-you types, too. 'sigh. Are your experiences the same?


	9. Cassanova

**Chapter 9  
- Cowboy Cassanova**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Saga- and any related characters- do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**Thanks to everyone who reviewed or added me to their Favorite Story/Author/Subscription list! Support for this story has been fantastic!

**Playlist  
**http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Cowboy Cassanova- **Carrie Underwood  
**Du Hast- **Rammstein  
**In My Head**- Jason Derulo

**Bella's Point of View**

"Rose, you stole all of my covers," I grumbled. Surprisingly, I wasn't cold. Not even remotely. I opened my eyes and had to take a minute to gain my bearings. Renee had never minded. As my eighteenth birthday had approached, the courtesy call had been a thing of the past. So long as I didn't get dragged downtown, no one really cared what I did with my time.

Tattoo's, pale skin; I was still in Edward's room. And, jesus, I really had to pee. My mouth tasted disgusting. I tried not to breathe as I eased out from under Edward's arm. He was laying at my back, one arm across my waist, the other curled underneath his head. It was pretty comfortable, but I really needed to get up.

It took nearly five minutes to effectively pin him down so he wouldn't drag me back against him. Edward was a possessive sleeper, among other things. I crept across the hallway careful not to make any noise. There was another car in their driveway. His parents were home. Someone had put out an unopened toothbrush next to travel toothpaste. That was really nice of... Alice?

Resting my hands on the side of their counter, I stared into the mirror. Whoa. Major damage control was needed. I'd have to buy Edward some new pillowcases, my eye-shadow was probably smeared all across the fabric. It was a bitch to remove. I used toilet paper so I wouldn't stain their towels with black.

Fuck it. He would see me without makeup. Big deal. I'd looked a lot worse in better conditions. I brushed my teeth sitting on top of the closed toilet seat, and pieced together what had happened the night before. I hadn't been falling down drunk. I was thankful for that, at least. I could remember what happened, every second. I had made him smile, and laugh, on more than one occasion. He had shared details of his past, minute as they were. We had never gotten around to our tattoo game. Probably for the best, I had been so turned on by his good-night kiss that I'd nearly jumped him while he slept.

Edward was also a night toucher, not in a creepy way. I had woken once to him nibbling at my jaw. His hands moved across my body, my chest to be exact. When I realized that he was still asleep, I'd kissed him, moved his arms to a safer position, and tried to find sleep again. It was the last thing on my mind, trust me.

He was a mass of contradiction; Donkey would have said he had layers.

His tattoos intrigued me. I wanted to know what the dates symbolized. He hadn't explained what they meant, but I was confident in my ability to get him to share. Why show them if he didn't want me to ask the questions? And why stare at me, daring me to ask them? The inked dates on his chest, for example. His upper body was something out of a dream, no wonder sluggish-panicked me had responded so well. Long, lithe muscles. I had seen scars here and there, but if he wasn't going to talk about the ink, chances were old battle-scars were conversationally forbidden. There were so many things I wanted to know about him. Some of his answers had only provoked more questions.

Why were his biological parents so difficult to talk about? Why had he lived in New York and Florida? What extenuating circumstances led to him repeating a grade? He was more than intelligent, I knew he could run circles around Forks High. Stoned, inebriated; Edward still spoke properly. The fact that it turned me on displayed how much of a loser I was.

And his opinion of me must have changed. I had been really... chatty. Depending on how good his memory was, he might not remember anything we talked about.

The most important things had been verified, though. He didn't have a girlfriend, and he wasn't a virgin. I had known that the minute I saw him. Maybe not the girlfriend part, my judgment was a little off when it came to relationships. Thinking his sister was romantically involved with him; alright, so my judgment was nonexistent. Whoops.

The fact that he'd done nothing but kiss me- What a fucking kiss it had been. Smooth, heated; I felt his passion, in more than one way, and he left me craving more. Respect, he had said. Edward respected me?

I hadn't been playing very fair. Teasing, challenging, I wanted him to make the first move. Technically, he had. Thinking about the way he growled, how dark his eyes got whenever I positioned myself in a way that succeeded in making him think of sex; I shivered. What was I going to do if he was still sleeping? I could always curl back up in bed with him and pretend that I always tasted minty fresh.

"Er, hi." I opened the bathroom door and nearly ran into Carlisle.

Hello, Isabella," he smiled. "Are you feeling better?"

Uh, yeah," I shifted awkwardly. "Thanks for everything, really. I appreciate that you took my side, didn't make me stay overnight."

"You didn't want to miss school. I didn't see a problem in signing the release papers, especially after your very persuasive argument," he grinned. "How are you feeling? Any side-effects from the medicine I prescribed?"

I hadn't taken any... "None," I wondered if he could smell illegal substances on my clothes. I didn't want to get Edward or Alice into any trouble.

"Well, let me get out of your way," he smiled easily. "You're welcome here anytime. Door's usually open. Feel free to stop by, okay?."

"Thank you." Why had I blushed? Was the flushing back to stay now? Double damn.

"Oh," he paused. "Edward means well. He may seem brash, but he has good intentions at heart."

"I know," I met his eyes squarely. Instead of the warning I had expected to see, I saw nothing but compassion and kindness. "I'm sure you know that I stayed over last night. Edward was nothing but a gentleman, no worries. I wouldn't, you know, disrespect your house that way." Thanks to him.

"Aside from polluting your system," he grinned. "Yes, I know both you and Edward smoke. To each their own, but should you choose to quit, I know of a few ways to make cutting back easier."

"I'll, uh, keep that in mind?"

"Quitting's not a priority, I know. There's time yet. I am a doctor, after all."

"I understand," I managed to smile. "Thanks to you all the same."

"Nice seeing you again, Isabella."

I called after him, wondering if it were inappropriate to correct him. It wasn't really a correction, I wanted to show him I was truly grateful, that I didn't have a problem with him. "You can call me Bella. Isabella seems too formal, I'm not a huge fan of the name to begin with."

"Bella, then," he smiled. "When you guys get hungry, there's food in the kitchen."

"I'll let them know."

I waited until he'd left for the kitchen to make my way back to Edward's room. I really liked Carlisle. He was easy to be around. Though he was a father figure, I didn't get an overbearing, authoritative aura from him. Being a surgeon, I had half expected him to be analytical, slightly cold. That certainly wasn't the case. I had yet to meet Esme, but if she were truly the one responsible for decorating the house, I figured she'd be as welcoming as Carlisle.

I stopped to think outside of Edward's door. Was this a common occurrence? Did Edward have girls over all the time? Was it not rare for Carlisle or Esme to encounter some random female vacating their bathroom?

Did it really matter? None of them were present now. Unless they were hiding in a closet somewhere, I was the only chick in his bed at the moment.

"Afternoon," Edward grinned lazily, sitting up in bed.

Lust returned full-force. What a fantastic view. His chest was bare, hair in disarray. He looked like sex and temptation, waiting in bed for me. I might have moaned again. I really needed to stop doing that, too. I was supposed to be sophisticated, worldly; instead, I was emitting sex noises every time he glanced at me.

"Hey," I closed his door, leaned against it.

"Feel like smoking?"

"Your parents are home." Hell yes I wanted to smoke. Wake and bake, in a way. Maybe I could take up permanent residence in his closet. His lifestyle... was mine.

"I know." He grinned again, my knees went weak. Was that all it took? A few shots and a good number of hits? Friendly Edward has emerged, at long last.

"Sure, I'm game." I studied his room while he rolled. He had so many books! Floor to ceiling book-shelves ran across the entire length of his wall. His bedroom, like Alice's, was quite large. His bed barely took up any space despite it being a queen. A larger-than-necessary television was hung against the far wall, a DVD-rack was set up underneath it. A veritable movie and music collection sat before me. Unlike his DVD's, his CD's were dusty. Who really used CD's anymore? It was all about I-pod's. Both he and Alice had one of those, too.

"C'mere," he patted the covers next to him. "I don't feel like getting up yet."

"Gonna crash after we smoke?"

He paused, considering. "Probably not, I rarely go back to sleep after I'm awake."

"Same here," I sat cross-legged next to him. Inhaling, I managed not to groan or moan. Two points for me, I congratulated myself.

"Your mind clear?"

"For the moment," I smiled. "I remember yesterday, though. You?"

"Same," his eyes closed as he took two quick hits. "Find any of my books interesting?"

"Quite a few," I admitted. "I'm not going to raid your shelves, don't worry. How about… three per visit?"

"You read more than one at a time," he actually looked interested. Good, it was nice to know I wasn't the only geek in the room.

"Habitually," I giggled.

"Nice word." He was perfect. Shit, damn, hell. If only he were lacking in some area; if he had an unsightly growth or mole, we were in the clear. It couldn't be just any mole, it had to be Prince John, Princess Bride, worthy.

"Thanks," I had bolstered my courage with two more drags. I felt confident, nothing bad would happen. The world was mine. I was happy, content, all the good emotions one was supposed to feel all the time.

"For?" I liked that he asked for clarification. It would probably be annoying after I knew him for awhile, but in the meantime, I really liked that he didn't take things at face value. Edward poked and prodded, he liked to know details, to get the facts straight.

"Not doing what you wanted last night."

"Just last night?" His eyebrow raised and I fought the blush I felt rising. I won. Hell yea, I did.

"You know what I mean." Good answer, I patted myself on the back. I had ignored his sub-text, hadn't issued any invitations, and managed to answer him all at once. I was doing quite well this morning, parent run-in and everything.

"No problem," he replied, handing me a cigarette.

Silence descended. We smoked while listening to music. I had really missed this, I felt in-sync with him. It wasn't as though he were part of me, but I felt that final click as the metaphysical snaps fell into place. Edward could be a really good friend. We were alike in the right ways. I didn't have to struggle to explain myself and he noticed small behaviorisms, same as I did.

"I just couldn't fucking do it," he admitted.

Okay, that had been entirely unprovoked. What the fuck? His mood swings were difficult to deal with, it was the only time I didn't have a clear reading on him. How fast was he able to think? Happy one minute, not happy the next; what was his damage?

"You were there," his arm slashed to the other side of the bed, "I knew you were okay with the idea, but I just couldn't fucking…"

"Edward, are you apologizing for not… sex… with me?"

Great, sound like a bashful virgin, good job. I lost all the points I had accumulated thus far. Somehow describing sleeping with him, the word 'fuck' seemed too crass. Saying we were going to 'make love' inflamed my gag reflex. 'Doing the deed' made me want to laugh.

"Yes. No. I don't even fucking know," he started laughing.

"Um… you're kinda creepin' me out. Get a handle on yourself, alright?"

He laughed harder, "I'm creeping you out."

"Like a crazy person would," I nodded.

We both heard a light knock, Alice opened the door a sliver. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No," Edward replied while regaining breath. "Come in quick if you're going to."

"Smoking again?" She replaced the towel and sat next to me on the bed.

"When am I not?" Edward put his cigarette out.

"Now," Alice grinned.

"Second hand," he grinned.

Edward smoked a lot faster than me. Most people did. In my experience, the longer a cigarette lasted the better. I was enjoying their banter, at any rate. Not that I had much first-hand knowledge, but it seemed as though they were closer than most siblings.

"You guys have a… good… night?"

Point proven. Alice looked mischievous as she inquired. Looking between Edward and I, her eyebrows rose as she stared at him. With the blankets pooled around his waist, it didn't look like he had any clothes on. I sort-of wanted to pull them away to check my theory. Ha, I mentally laughed at myself. If I had noticed that before Alice's appearance…

"We slept, it was fine."  
"We slept, how was your night?"

I refused to look at him. His stare was all but burning a hole through the side of my skull. Edward was a lot chattier now that it was just the three of us. I'd have to give a good three-second pause before I spoke next time.

"C'mon, Bella," Alice took my hand. "We'll leave Edward to get ready. I've got plans for us." I allowed her to lead me out of the room. We went directly to hers, I could smell pancakes cooking. Ignoring my rumbling stomach, blaming hunger on the pot, I sat on Alice's bed while she flitted around.

"I actually need to ask you something first." How to broach this topic? Alice seemed to have no problem with it, but all the same. Talking to her about certain urges her brother aroused… no, that wasn't awkward at all.

"You're interested in Edward."

"Uh, yeah. I needed to know that you're okay with it before anything happens."

"Girls don't sleep over. He doesn't let them, not that I blame him."

"Well, sorry," I bristled. What was she trying to say? I wasn't good enough for him?

"No, no," she laughed at herself. "I meant that he's treating you differently from the rest. You both looked way too rested for anything to have happened. Do you know how insane that is? He never waits. Ever. It's one of the predictable things about him, for all of his spontaneous ideas and impulsive behavior, he's really very routine."

"Alice, please. What are you trying to say?"

"I think he likes you," she said, serious now. "Its too early for me to form any conclusions, but I have a feeling that you're both in for some changes."

"Changes?"

"Can't talk about it yet," she shook her head. "Ask me about anything else."

"Sure…" Strange, strange little pixie. "Before this conversation goes on any further, I want you to answer in one word. Ready?" I didn't mean it in a negative way, hopefully she'd understand that I was joking. Sometimes my humor was lost on people, damned if I knew why.

Alice laughed, but motioned for me to continue.

"Do you have any problem with me and Edward possibly seeing more of one another?"

"Nope," she bounced up and down.

"Would you, in any way, feel uncomfortable should we become… physical?"

"No."

"Okay, that's it. Those were the only things I had to be sure about."

"Thanks for asking," she smiled brightly. "It means a lot that you'd care enough to check in with me."

"You're his sister."

"So?" There was more lurking under the surface, I could see it in her eyes. They were colder, darker, there were memories in the light blue depths. A bitterness I'd have never expected to see, that I wished she didn't know.

"You're his sister," I repeated. "He's basically said the same. In all ways that matter, you're more than blood to him."

It had all clicked together. They were brother and sister, but they weren't related at all. I remembered Edward mentioning that Alice had found him in New York. Had she been with him since then? Obviously, I chastised myself, how else would they have been adopted together?

"I know," she sighed. "Even so… yea, you're gonna have to be kinda careful around him."

"Why? What does that mean? I always fall for the…"

"Bella!" I snapped to attention. I'd been babbling when there were more important things to focus on.

"Every relationship Edward's been in has been fucked with. It's happened a good number of times, so if you get frustrated with him, remember that?"

"Alice, I've got more than my share of baggage. I'm not the most trusting person in the world, either."

"Which is why you got high with strangers and slept next to one, the more dangerous of us, all night?"

"… shut it." She was absolutely right. What had I known about them before entering their house? Well, no. I'd met Carlisle and gotten a good impression from him. Edward didn't need to be explained. Alice, yes, she was a little off, but not in a bad, creepy way.

I was making excuses for myself and now that I knew? Did it matter? I liked the two of them and if that meant I was making some mistake that would bite my ass in the future... fuck it. The feeling of contentment I felt, and was still feeling, made everything worth it.

"Point proven?"

"Yes," I grudgingly gave in. "Your motive?"

"To show that he's affected you, too. He'll be back any second, but I know that you guys could be something. Put your issues aside. He wants more than just your body now, you know."

"Alice-"

Edward held the door open with one arm, "Breakfast, guys." I tried not to let my jaw drop. He looked fucking… all of the… and his… How was it possible for one person to exude such primal sexuality? Dressed in a black undershirt, a pair of torn jeans, and his black combat boots; he looked fucking edible. His nipple piercing showed through the shirt. I wanted to wrap my tongue around it, to feel it between my teeth.

The way he smelled, it was even stronger now. I'd fallen asleep with it around me, woke up to it, and I had it all over my clothes. Memories of our short kiss, remembering how he had effortlessly climbed an entire staircase with me in his arms. The way he looked holding a knife, without one, when he was turned on… like now…

He hadn't gelled his hair, though it was wet from his shower. The 'just woke up' look suited him well, as though I hadn't noticed before. He wore a spiked wrist band, two rings, one of them a claw. It looked sharper than mine. Newer. I'd have to go shopping online again soon. I sidled past him in the doorway trying to ignore how hot his skin was. The current made my flesh tingle. I flushed and it had nothing to do with embarrassment. The bastard smirked. He knew exactly what was going on. So what if he did? I took solace in the fact he felt it, too.

**Authors Note:**  
If nothing else, at least Alice has given her consent and support. Some revelations, thanks where they were due; Bella's met his parents. I consider that progress. The next chapter should be more interesting for those of you who think this chapter's too slow. =)

**Authors Note:  
Xxxlookingformyedwardxxx-**  
I'm really glad you're liking the way I altered their characters! Updates are on the way!  
**Missyheaven3-**  
Thank you! =D  
**easemama-  
**Rachel, you're awesome. ^_^


	10. Eat You Alive

**Chapter 10  
- Eat You Alive**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**The references to Brighty and Misty- they're characters belonging to Marguerite Henry. I could see Alice enjoying them as a kid. The Misty series starts with Misty of Chincoteague, Edward's use of 'Brighty' refers to Brighty of Grand Canyon- at least that's what I think the name was. Anna Sewell is the author of 'Black Beauty.' I am a girl. Fuck it. Black Beauty rocked my world, once upon a time.

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
**(Grooveshark is the best site I've found for music. They let you make your own Playlists, save them, and I've been able to find every song I've wanted. I don't know how many of you actually use my suggested Playlist, but maybe grooveshark will make it easier for you, and your writing. =) I rec what I love, lol.)  
**Round and Round**- Bodyrockers  
**Sister Psychic**- Smash Mouth  
**Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy**- Big & Rich  
**Eat You Alive**- Limp Bizkit  
**Feuer Frei**- Rammstein

**Edward's Point of View**

Alice's plans for the day involved a lot of feminine activities that usually wouldn't have interested me. Normally, I'd be curled up on my bed, reading, smoking with the possibility of a casual encounter as the evening approached. I had turned my phone off, to be sure. I didn't want Bella to see exactly how cluttered my inbox could be.

There were a few chicks within Forks that didn't mind a fuck-and-run. It was preferable to them, even, because of significant others, curfews, the reasons went on and on. They all had the same routine. We'd fuck two or three times before they'd try to engage me in meaningful conversation. When it was clear that they weren't making any headway, they'd grow cold and distant for a few weeks. So long as I timed things perfectly with them, I had at least one female willing, and wanting, to find some physical release at all times.

Yeah, it was a dick thing of me to do. Yes, they understood that I wasn't the boyfriend type- most of the time. No, I never intentionally broke any hearts. Nope, we would not be friends. And I was absolutely fine with all of the above.

Bella's phone rang. It was her father again. I heard the smile in her voice. They joked around a little bit, Bella would laugh, and then she'd hang up. She had a good home life in Forks, if not anywhere else. The fact that Charlie called as often as he did was proof enough. That Bella rolled her eyes at his questions was telling of her trust and comfort level.

"Dad," she groaned, her eyes flicking to me. What the hell had that been about? If I had a daughter- not likely- I probably wouldn't want her spending the night and another day with a guy like me, either. Actually, no. I'd prefer she stick with someone like me. She'd need someone to protect her when I couldn't anymore. The world was a fucked up place. I wouldn't over-protect her, but I wouldn't let her bleed and fall without helping her up. Fuck that shit. I'd make a good parent, I knew it. Bella and Alice would make good parents, too, though Bella seemed more like me. Family, kids, marriage; far from priorities.

"Yeah, we're watching 'Troy' now, you know. The movie's about, well, the fall of Troy. Brad Pitt, Eric Bana- …you asked," she laughed. "They're not poofers, as you so eloquently put it. They're men."

Alice had chosen 'Gladiator', 'Troy', and '300' as today's Saturday movies. It was a nice damn change, I had to admit. One more viewing of 'Titanic', 'Something About You', or 'the Mummy Series' and I don't know what I'd fucking do.

"My taste in men notwithstanding, I'll call you later. You're right, by the way. No worries, okay?"

I glanced at the screen. Brad Pitt with long blonde hair, wearing some sort of skirt thing. Eric Bana, good as the Hulk, not bad in this role so long as I ignored the jewelry in his hair. Orlando Bloom, I didn't even want to talk about Paris. Poofers, Charlie had it right.

Bella liked these… men, as she had put it? Maybe Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden, that was a fucking fantastic movie. Alice didn't like it and she really didn't like it when I watched it. She said I became different, more volatile. Well, yeah. 'Fight Club' showed a bunch of guys beating the shit out of one another, Marla Singer- enough the fuck said there, and the insomniac hallucinations were great to watch high. The book was even better. I liked it a lot, Alice didn't.

"Oh my god," Bella cringed. "We have to fast-forward."

"Why?" Alice paused with one hand of popcorn tilted toward her mouth.

"I can't watch this part. Paris skittering around on the ground, the whole thing. No thanks."

"I think its sweet."

"Sweet?" Bella raised her eyebrow, derision spread across her features. "He's on his knees, practically begging for his life. Taking none of the advice Hector gave him… he smuggled Helen on board with no fighting experience to keep her, and that's sweet to you?"

"He loved her," Alice said simply.

"Fine." She caught my gaze and nodded slightly after a few seconds. Bella understood without me having to risk turning my phone on to text her. "I'll give you that. He was pretty heroic, just not at this particular moment."

"I can see both of you," she giggled. "I don't care what either of you think. He's hot, get over it."

"Fine, Alice," Bella stole some of her popcorn. "If I ever meet a Paris, I'll tie him up and personally deliver him to your bedroom. He'll stay on his knees for as long as you tell him too."

"Shut up," Alice threw a handful of the popcorn in her direction. "Besides, everyone knows that handcuffs work better."

Bella laughed, wiping butter out of her hair. "I should've known you'd like them. Handcuffs are amazing."

"I'm gonna take a shower and smoke break." Time to excuse myself. I couldn't ignore the problem anymore.

"Mind if I join for the latter?" Bella asked.

"And if I do both at the same time?"

"I'll stand outside the door and wait for the contact high." She smiled, "Don't worry, I'll hold a towel for you."

She was good, I grinned. Very nicely handled, though I wish she had been more inclined to join me. I was beyond the cold shower trick. It didn't matter what temperature the water was. Cold would only lead to annoyance which would frustrate me on top of the mounting frustration I currently felt. No, warm was relaxing. Warm was soothing. Warm was better for my fantasizing process and the jerk-off session I was about to partake in.

Had it really gotten to this point?

I blamed Bella entirely. Waking up three times with an aching erection, only to have her make it worse… yea, I was well-rested. It was fucking exhausting. She had been practically on top of me the first time. Her leg thrown over mine, one of her arms around my chest, she was half on me, half on the mattress. It had taken some finesse to rearrange us so that we were both fucking comfortable, and my cock wasn't boring a hole through her back.

The second time; I stepped into the shower and allowed the water to do its work. Bella had been having some sort of dream. I can't say that she was sleep-talker, nor was she loud. Soft moans, a groan here or there, whimpers, fucking gasps. Jesus-motherfucking-christ.

Four harsh jerks and I was gripping the shower bar with all of my strength. Fuck that had felt so good.

She hadn't found orgasm, at least none that I was aware of. And if that, the restless succumbing to deeper sleep that she'd found, was because she came… we had a lot of work to do. Sex was something that I wasn't ashamed of. It was something that I did well, that I enjoyed, and like anyone with a talent- why wouldn't I be proud of that?

I knew Bella would be hell in bed. I could sense it. The energy around her had caused me to walk around perpetually hard for the past few days. Whether or not any guy had made her come the way I would, that was up for experimentation. I could do it. No, I would do it. When, in what position, and where were the only issues. If that pathetic, 'can't be called release' was the response called forth by her dream guy; well, I was about to rock her fucking world.

Time for round two.

Her wrists handcuffed to my bed, her ankles tied to my bedpost; I'd slowly work my way down her body until she was dripping and pleading with me to get her off. I could go down on her for hours, honestly. She smelled so goddamn good all of the fucking time. I had to know what she tasted like. I needed to find out really fucking soon. I wanted her thighs clenched around my head, her pulling at my hair, thrashing and screaming my name. I needed to see her red and raw, five orgasms later, mewling and whimpering for mercy. That's when I'd fuck her. I would untie her, bend her the fuck over, and take her like a fucking animal. With my teeth at her neck, she'd walk around with my mark for goddamn days. Her clawing the sheets, clenching around me, biting her lip as she-

Shit, fuck, mother of-

I nearly fell to my knees. Ramming my open fist onto the shower door, I growled as I came. Fuck Bella Swan. She was better in my head than some of my real-life experiences had been. And it rang false to categorize her in the fuck-and-run section. She'd broken too many rules as it was.

Most girls thought my bed was open territory. The comforter, my sheets, the headboard and footboard; I didn't spend much money on myself, but I went all out when it came to my bedroom furniture. She had slept in my bed without anything besides a kiss transpiring between us. Maybe it was because she'd asked if it were okay that she stay.

Damn her. Damn her perceptive, fucking fine ass. She hadn't asked to keep my hoodie.  
_Well, no, I reminded myself. You gave it to her. 'Keep it,' did you or did you not say those words?_  
Fine, what about the shirt?  
_Its gone. _  
Giving her my knife?  
_You hate dealing with hysterical women. Next?_  
Feeling so damn protective of her?  
_… you're fucked, buddy._

That was really… helpful. Usually internal conversations with myself end on a better note.

The smell in the room made my cock twitch. Again. Pot and fruit, how good would it smell after about six rounds of fantastic, out-of-control sex?

"I'll just, uh, wait outside. Call me when you're…"

I had to laugh. Seeing Bella nearly run out of the room; oh yeah. I was back in control. It wasn't as though I'd come out of the shower naked. I was wearing a towel. Not the biggest of towels, yet it managed to get the job done.

Frustration was still present, but it was on a much more manageable level. I felt pretty damn good, all things considered. Was she staying the night again? If so, I'd need to take another shower and possibly wrap an ice-pack around my balls. Though I hated it, I couldn't help enjoying it. Usually the intense need I felt for Bella was reserved for porn stars and one or two magazine models.

But she didn't stay.

Fuck me if I hadn't really wanted her to. The smell in my room was fading, I sprayed some air freshener and opened the window. Stale cigarette smoke, the lingering scent of pot; Bella's perfume, no, her body-spray was drowned out by the rest. Saturday night passed into an uneventful Sunday. I fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of her all night.

I was in a great mood Monday morning. Getting a little tired of hand-action, but the orgasms were worth it. I came hard every mother-fucking time. I wondered if she had gotten my present. Before she'd left I had replaced her cigarettes with some of my own. Special blend. I had also put two books under her jacket in addition to the three that she'd borrowed. Why? Impulsive urge.

"There's another family in town," Alice informed me on the way to school.

"Okay…" I pulled into a parking spot as she clicked her phone shut. I lit a cigarette, this could be a long conversation.

"Yeah, there's supposedly got an older brother. He's in our grade. Their family just moved here from the South. Jasper and Tanya Whitlock," she added. "Don't you think 'Jasper' is a great name? I can't wait to meet them. Even their last name. Whitlock. It sounds so distinguished and…"

"Alice, give them a chance to settle in before you bombard their house with pastries and invitations."

"I didn't give Bella any."

"No, you invited her over for dinner, breakfast, lunch, and drinking in between."

"Should I have given her family something? I mean, we know her father, its not like they're new to town. Think she'd be offended that I-"

"No," I put my arm around her shoulder. "I don't anything you'd do would offend Bella. You guys are all close and girl-friends or whatever now, right? I doubt you have to give her cookies to keep her friendship."

I was very happy with Alice's choosing Bella as her new best friend. Stanley, Mallory, and the rest of their dysfunctional little gang drove me insane. They would come over to the house, never for more than a few hours, and they'd spend the entire time trying to get an invitation into my room. Never mind that Alice was the one who has called the meeting, they treated her as a by-product sometimes and it pissed me off.

Bella didn't do that. When she and Alice spoke, I didn't exist. All of her attention was on their conversation. She was completely cool, very considerate- I snapped myself back to reality. Bella was dominating my thoughts, she was creeping across all the aspects of my life.

"I don't use welcome presents as bribes," Alice huffed. "It's just a gesture. Not everything has ulterior motives, you know."

"You don't," I agreed. "Just… give them a day, alright?"

"Uh, no," she grinned cheekily. "Get used to Jasper Whitlock, I have a feeling we're all gonna be friends."

"Jesus," I groaned. First Bella, now Jasper. Whomever he was, he'd better watch his fucking back when it came to Alice. I didn't care who he was, I'd destroy him if he tried to hurt her.

"Look, there they are!" I glanced to my left out of habit. Both of them had blue eyes, though Jasper had shoulder-length brown hair. Tanya, I believe that's what Alice called her, was wearing a short mini-skirt and some sort of tight sweater thing. Jasper was dressed down in a pair of faded blue jeans, cowboy boots- whoa, what the fuck? Cowboy boots? He wore a flannel shirt, red and black. Maybe Alice's welcome basket would be useful after all.

"Tanya, I really don't care," Jasper slammed the door to their pick-up truck angrily. "Get the hell out."

"You're such an ass," the blonde huffed. "I should have stayed with them."

"I agree." I saw Jasper reach for a hat. No motherfucking way.

"Oh my god," I heard Alice whisper. "He's got a cowboy hat! And an accent! Do you see his shirt? He looks so…"

"Out of place?" I suggested.

"… hot," Alice continued.

"Spillin' that shit all over my seats," Jasper fumed, "I told you to leave it home!"

"Well if you didn't drive like a maniac," I noticed the cause of the problem. An open bottle of red nail polish was in her hand. I made a mental note to keep her far the fuck away from my car. "It wouldn't have been a problem."

"Just… stay away from me. Really fuckin' far away." Jasper closed his eyes, searching for patience.

"Ditto," Tanya turned on her heel and walked toward the building. She had a nice ass. Nice legs, too. Not a bad chest, her face wasn't exactly pretty, but it wasn't awful. She had plump red lips, her eyes labeled her a bitch. That's fine, I'd dealt with snobs before.

Alice shifted, getting ready to take action. "I'm gonna-"

"Come with me," I wrapped my arm tighter around her. She was going to go talk to the cowboy. It looked like he needed a moment alone. He leaned against the truck, rubbed a hand across his face, and lit a cigarette. Good. Alice wasn't a huge fan of smoking. She put up with it around me, but only because she loved me. There were still times my cigarette packs would go missing, I knew it was her trying to get me to quit.

"But he's-"

"Recuperating," I opened the front door for her and chucked the cigarette butt to the side.

"Shut _up_, Edward," she slapped my arm. "He's _looking_ at me."

"Why wouldn't he?"

Alice was wearing a black leather skirt that looked like something a ballerina would own. She had borrowed Bella's fishnet shirt and was wearing some sort of black vest over the top of it. They both had a style all their own. I looked back. Sure enough, Jasper was staring at Alice, his cigarette mid-way to his face. There was no doubt in my mind, his eyes were riveted to her.

"Leave him wanting more," I closed the door behind us.

"I can't believe you did that," she hissed, following me through the halls. "Did you see him? He was… and the… definitely bringing them cookies."

"Make sure he doesn't have a girlfriend… or anything else that'll linger…"

"You're disgusting," she smacked me again. "He doesn't. I know he doesn't."

"Absolutely," I agreed. "Just verify that with him, verbally, okay?"

"Get to class." She was pissed. I laughed and ruffled her hair, wait for it-

"Damnit, Edward!" Pulling her locker open, she examined the damage in her mirror. I had to step back as she sprayed a cloud of stuff in the air. Bottles clunked back into place as she used hair-gel, perfume, body spray, and lotion. All in the space of two minutes. I almost felt sorry for Jasper Whitlock.

"Don't touch my hair again," she pointed at me, lethally. "Go and let Bella find you. I plan to avoid you for the rest of the day."

"Have fun stalking Brighty."

Would she remember? There had been a series of horse books that I'd read Alice a long time ago.

"He's not an ass," she took a step towards me menacingly. Yeah, she remembered. Brighty had been about a donkey, Misty had been about a pony or something. There were a shit-load of horses, too, and I had read them all to her. Marguerite Henry and Anna Sewell had been my main literary focuses for a good two years. They were Alice's favorite authors, for children's books at least.

"Alright," I squeezed her shoulder. "Good luck."

"Won't need it," she posed prettily, forgiving me already. I really fucking loved her. If Jasper was the guy she'd chosen, I'd respect that. After a nice chat with Cowboy Casanova, of course. Why did I know that song? Alice. Alice and her country music marathon. I felt a slight chill run up my spine. How had she- I'd had this feeling before. Plenty of times. It was one of the reasons I rarely ever argued with her. I'd offer suggestions on how to be safer about them, but I never outright disagreed.

I winced, pausing at my locker, as Jasper entered our school. Nearly every female's head swiveled in his direction. Shit. Alice was going to have her fair share of competition, not that I had any doubts about who would be winning.

"New guy?" Bella had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Taken," I said shortly. She was looking at Jasper with interest written all across her face. What the fuck? Seriously? What was it about damn cowboys-? She'd admitted having a fondness for them. No fucking way. I backed her against the locker and made damn sure- why was I kissing her? Did it really matter? Mango, coffee- I groaned as she bit my lip. I regretted smoking that last cigarette without chewing my normal piece of gum. Her tongue moved across mine- pot and Newports. Good, maybe she wouldn't be bothered by the cigarette taste. And I knew she had gotten my present.

I heard the bell ring.

"See you at lunch," I closed my locker door and forced myself to walk away. That had been really uncalled for. I may as well have unzipped my jeans to take a piss- no, that imagery was way too... I really wished I had time for another cigarette. Nauseated, pissed off, and restless I headed to class. She'd better fucking show up at lunch-time.

Lunch came and went, Bella was nowhere to be seen. Shit, fuck. Had I pissed her off somehow? Or, even worse, had she gone to learn more about Jasper Whitlock? Pansy fucker.

"You could get in trouble for skipping classes, you know."

Wearing my fucking hoodie! Long legs encased in black denim, her small waist, a corset, cleavage- I couldn't see her face, but I'd know her anywhere. She opened my car door and let herself in.

"Nice ride," she opened the passenger window wider. "Thanks for the cigarettes."

Not the fucking- well, shit. I mean, sure, I had my boots up on the dashboard, but that didn't mean just anyone… fuck it. The damage was done. At least she wasn't digging her heels into the leather. Just the soles of her shoes rested where the air-bag would be.

"Sorry, do you mind?" She motioned to the way she was sitting. Mind-reading damn-!

"No," I managed to say. Remembering that I had a cigarette, I barely got my hand to the window in time. Ash all over my seats, that shit burned, I didn't want my car full of holes.

"Right, I forgot. You're not an afternoon person. So that's a school-week thing?" She pulled out a book, one of the books I had given her. Between 'Fight Club' and 'House of Leaves', she was reading Danielewski's novel.

"Sure" I replied.

"Smoke one of these," she took my cigarette trading it for hers. Right out of my fucking hand. People had gotten beaten for less. "Lighten up. Its alright, only three more classes to go."

"What do you think about it?" I tapped the spine of her, my, book.

I should have brought some with me, I had used all of my empty filters on her. Five hits later and I was wondering. Why had I been irritated? Why had I felt the insane urge to put my fist through something? What did my car really matter? It was only a machine. A very good, top of the line, 'has taken great care of me' machine. Still, Bella stretched her legs out so her ankles went across my shins; I was really enjoying the view.

"I don't know yet," she pursed her lips, thinking. "I haven't gotten far enough to form any formal opinions."

"Seriously?" Whoops, I hadn't meant to say that aloud. Bella Swan was killing me. She was so damn intellectual, so fucking formal sometimes it drove me crazy.

"Yeah," she looked confused. "I haven't gotten past the introduction. I like the format thus far, but aside from that? I haven't formed real emotional connections to any of the characters. I'm pretty sure I'll like it, I get a creepy, desperate feel just up to this point. …Don't jump me again."

"What?" I swore at myself. She had concocted the best fucking explanation I'd ever heard, and all I could do was form one worded answers?

"You, you're looking at me like you did this morning. I'm not interested in Jasper, if that makes you feel any better. I've already had a long conversation with Alice over lunch."

Of course, I rebuked myself. Normal people ate food at lunchtime, they didn't spend their time smoking the minutes away outside of the building.

"And now you look pissed," she sighed. "Your mood-swings are epic. Up and down, back and forth. Fuck whiplash, I feel like I'm dealing with a fucking hurricane the way you blow all over the place."

"I have… so many comments," I tried not to laugh. Her use of the word 'blow' sent several very graphic images straight to my cock.

"Exactly," she slapped my thigh. What was with chicks and hitting me today? Alice had gotten at least two good slaps in, now Bella. What the fuck? At least with Bella, I'd know if she were truly angry. She wouldn't smack, she'd crack me across the jaw and continue to kick my ass. I approved.

"First you're angry, then you glare at me. Next you're making casual conversation, you seemed pissed off again, briefly, and now it appears you're amused by something. What the fuck, man?"

Man? I had been placed in the buddy 'man' category? Was she going to guy-hug me and slap me on the back next?

"I thought we were back to being friends, or at least trying. This weekend went well enough. You talked, you laughed, you seemed… happier. Today? I don't know anymore. What the fuck do you want from me? You can't give me gifts, you cant kiss me like you did this morning and then pretend to hate me."

"You think I hate you?" Time to back this the fuck up. She was working herself into a fine rage, I didn't know what the problem was! What was she going off about? My moods? She thought I disliked her?

"Sometimes," she snapped. "What would you think of a person who gives you death stares _and_ 'you've fucked with me' looks? You calmly walked away after nearly fucking me into the lockers... What game are you playing? I refuse to participate, I'm done, I tap out. You win, happy?"

"Its not a game," I tried to explain. "I… wasn't aware of, well, shit. I know that I have a tendency to glare at people. For you, its not what you think. You confuse me, you know that? You say I'm difficult? What about you?"

"What the fuck about me?"

Wherever Bella had come from, I definitely knew the accent wasn't fake. Only when she was pissed off did her way of speaking change. Her sentences became shorter, more direct. She cursed a lot more. I heard the street-slang dialect I'd been around most of my life. I liked it coming from her. It was true, real, she wasn't hiding anymore. All of that notwithstanding, she was trying to blame me for something that wasn't true. I didn't have fucking mood swings.

"You walk around like a fucking goth princess some days, a fucking school teacher the next. You're into cowboys, pirates, tattoo's, cartoons, random ass references all the fuck over the place; you all but offer to screw me, then you cold shoulder me-"

"I've done no such thing," Bella shook her head. "You, need I repeat myself, were the one to walk the fuck away from me. You made it really damn clear that you wanted me, after I woke up in bed with you... and then you disappeared. You let me take your books, you _made_ cigarettes for me, but then what? I had to come find you. Twice."

"I told you to meet me at lunch."

"Fine, what-fucking-ever. You win that one, Alice wanted to talk to me about Jasper, the new guy. Excuse me for trying to be her friend, too," she glared at me. "Lunch is forty-five minutes long, did you know that? If it bothered you so damn much, why didn't you come find me? It doesn't take a genius to realize that, oh hey, if she's not here, she must be fucking there!"

"I don't chase after anyone. If you didn't want to meet up with me, that's fine. I wasn't going to fucking harass you."

"Bullshit," she sneered. "I know why you kissed me. You gave him the same look you gave me. It's pretty fucking obvious, but let me clear this up for you. I don't belong to Anyone. I'm not having this territorial bullshit happen again."

What the fuck did that have to do with anything? Why did she keep bringing it up? "You sure didn't seem to mind me having your back at the hospital."

Fuck, she went even paler. I could feel the anger and rage, it called to my darker side. If her hair started flying all over the place and her eyes glowed, I wouldn't have been fucking surprised. If she hit me again, all bets were off. I wouldn't hit her back, but...

"What the fuck do you mean _again_?" I went back through the last sentence she spoke, confused.

"You don't get to ask that," she snarled. "I know nothing about you. You have my gratitude for the pot and alcohol. I've already thanked you for the help you showed me at the hospital. But, I ask again, why go to all that trouble if you're going to ignore me in public?" Realization broke through her anger. "Oh, I know why."

"No, its not fucking like that," I saw understanding dawn. I knew what she was thinking. "I didn't do all of that just to fuck you. Goddamnit, if I wanted to do that, I'd have done it already."

"So we'll be, what? Secret friends? You gonna use that line on me?"

"I haven't used any lines on you," I retorted. "You want the world to know we're friends? Fine, buy the fucking shirt, I'll wear it. I… I actually fucking like you, alright? So... shut the fuck up and _calm down_."

"You have a damn strange way of showing it," she slumped against the seat and crossed her arms regally.

What did it fucking take? All the times she'd read my fucking mind, knew what I was thinking without needing to hear me clarify it aloud; she chose motherfucking now to go oblivious?

"So you like me, big deal. Try showing it, why don't you? I'll see you in Spanish class."

"Bella- damnit-"

"Actions over words, man. I've made my interest pretty fucking apparent."

There it was again! 'Man,' I snorted in disgust. Had I really argued in favor of being friends? Fuck friendship, I wanted more than watching movies and doing shots with her. "I did, this morning! Don't give me that 'friends' bullshit!"

"You don't want to be friends? You want to fuck and move on, right?"

"No," I caught up to her. "How many fucking times to do I have to say it? I don't know… around you… yea, I want to fuck you. Its not the only thing I want from you, though."

"Don't walk away from me next time," she seethed. "Don't pansy the fuck out and expect me to wait around for you to come back, to change your mind, to do whatever it is you're thinking of at the moment. You catch up or slow down for me. And don't make the mistake of thinking you influence what I do. If I fucking like someone, I'll talk to them, hang out with them. I'm not checking with you every time I want to speak with someone."

"And if I adapt the same attitude?"

Her back straightened, she looked as though I'd smacked her. "That'd be none of my business."

"Bella, I didn't mean I was going to fuck everything sight. Jesus, you're so in-fucking-furiating!"

"Great, well, think it over back in your car. I've got places to be. Notice I came to find you? Again?"

"You're ignoring everything I've said."

"I'm not," she said over her shoulder. "I'm waiting to see if you actually _act_ on what you've said."

"I think I'll wait to see your reaction after you've processed everything."

"That's your prerogative," she shrugged, opened the door for me.

I took the door from her and stepped back. She would damn well walk in first. I had fucking manners. They'd been in over-drive around her, I noticed. She was a girl, I was a guy; I could be fucking courteous if I wanted to be. I was nice to Alice, too, what of it? Fuck it.

"See you in Spanish," I said tersely.

"Really looking forward to it," she sarced, walking away. Still in _my_ hoodie! I restrained myself from punching one of the lockers. Disruption, they'd call it. That's all I fucking needed. Detention or school service- which was really their way of obtaining free labor on weekends- would send me over the edge.

She wasn't in Spanish class.

Fuck it then. This was going way too far. We had spent two class periods outside yelling at one another. What the fuck had that been about? A lot had been said, true enough, but that was reserved for girlfriend-status. I had known her a week, maybe less. Definitely time to take a step back. We'd regroup, when we both calmed down I'd approach her in a more rational state of mind.

"Hey?" I looked up abruptly. Standing near my car was the new girl Tanya. I glanced around, the parking lot was nearly empty.

"Hi," I replied. Sure, why not? I wanted her to watch the fucking paint, but provided she didn't lean on my car, I didn't mind talking to her.

"I've noticed you around, my name's Tanya."

"You need something?"

"My asshole half-brother left me stranded. I was wondering if you'd give me a ride."

I looked her over quickly. Very nice legs; her shoe heels were sharp, she wouldn't be putting them on the dashboard anytime soon. Her nails seemed dry. There was no smell of open nail-polish.

"Where do you live?" I asked. Some houses were nearly forty-five minutes away. It'd be quicker if she called a cab, and I wasn't about to spend three hours, round-trip, in car just because I was expected to be nice. But she didn't live far. I couldn't exactly leave her standing in the lot while I drove away. It didn't seem like her brother was showing up anytime soon. "Yeah, whatever. Get in."

She kept her feet on the floor. Damn straight she did. I started the engine and chose a Playlist for the ride. "That's so hot," she rubbed her fingers across one of my tattoo's. "You're really hot."

"Seat-belt," I moved my arm away from her.

Alice was catching a ride with Bella, from what I remembered her saying. I didn't see Bella's truck around anywhere and she would have found me this late in the day. My phone had no messages from her, I had deleted nearly thirteen text-messages when I'd turned it on Saturday night. I contemplated leaving it off, but Carlisle had been working late again. I wanted to be sure he could reach me if they needed help.

"Your car's so fast," Tanya purred, running her hand up and down my thigh.

"Thanks," I smirked. This wasn't my best effort, but judging from her behavior, I wouldn't have to try very hard. I wasn't even really turned on. She was touching my thigh, and all I wanted was a cigarette.

It didn't take me long to realize that she was wearing too much perfume. Opening the window, I was able to take a full breath of air. It was the first in a long time. I snuck a quick peek to remind myself why she was sitting in my passenger seat.

I'd have to get the car washed again, no doubt about it. While I was there, I reminded myself, pick up some strong air-freshener. Something tropical, maybe. I could get into the newly cleaned Volvo, close my eyes and picture myself on a tropical beach. A drink with one of those umbrellas next to me, a girl on top of me. What would be better? She would taste like mangoes and… fucking Bella Swan.

"Are you, like, okay?"

"Yeah," I pressed play on my I-pod, it hadn't started right away. Strange.

"Okay," she looked unsure. "You, like, growled or something."

I didn't know what to say. Explaining why wouldn't fucking help matters. In times of doubt, go for a cigarette. Good idea, I congratulated myself. No girl expected to hold a real conversation with someone driving, thinking, and smoking. Safety first?

"Um…" she trailed off pointedly, the minutes ticking away.

"Yes?" I hate when chicks do that. If there's a problem, speak up. Why waste time? You have my attention the moment you move; there's no need to pansy around.

"I don't like cigarettes. It, like, gets all in my hair and stuff." _Compared to the generic flower scent that clings to anyone within two inches of you? I'll take the smoke. _I made the mistake of glancing over at her again. She was sitting with her back partially against the door, her body tilted toward me. Her light brown hair was arranged too perfectly, too much hair gel or hairspray. She had a nice figure, curved in the right places. Her chest was decent, her legs long, she had a small waist… normally any chick who looked at me, like Tanya was right now, I'd be all over them in seconds. Nothing did it for me more than the 'bite their lip, flutter their lashes, slow smile' but I wasn't really feeling it anymore.

Fuck, I took one last drag of my cigarette before I allowed the wind to carry it away. Fucking waste, I should have just put it out.

"Thanks," she simpered. "You're, like, so nice and stuff."

What the fuck had I seen in her? A nice body did not make for proper fucking. At least not anymore. I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with her. She didn't know the difference between Shakespeare and Leonardo DiCaprio, Achilles and Brad Pitt. No, Mel Gibson- who the fuck cared? The point was fucking clear to me.

_'I appreciate its artistic integrity.'_ Who said shit like that? And Bella had meant every word.

"Pull over here," she suggested, "my parents are home."

I was pulling over? Was this happening?

"I mean, you can come in, if you want. Like, they wouldn't mind or anything, meeting someone new? I'm sure they'd love, like, an intro."

Technically, I could have brought her to my house. I just didn't want to go through the 'meet the parents' routine. Giving a tour of the house, showing her to my room, engaging in pointless conversation- I hadn't changed my sheets. They had a good four days left; conserve water, right? When the fuck had I become so environmentally friendly?

I didn't want to meet her parents. I wanted some nice, uncomplicated fucking. No arguments, no friendship; easy, impersonal, and I wouldn't have to go at it alone later. Mentally shaking my head, no I probably would anyway. At least I'd have new images.

"You, uh, gonna sit there all day?"

For the first time in my life, I didn't feel like having sex.

I should have. There was no reason not to. Opportunities like this, well, let's be honest. They were pretty fucking frequent. It had never been like this, though. With the window once again shut, I was breathing through my mouth to get the maximum oxygen intake. She was just so… immaculate. Not one hair out of place, no wrinkles in her jeans.

"I was just giving you a ride home," I shrugged, hoping my aloof aura would be conveyed.

"What?"

Apparently not.

"You told me to pull over," I raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you, like, wanted to fuck and stuff?"

"Uh, no…" Did she know any other words besides 'like' and 'stuff'

"You totally did!"

"I don't know you," I stared her down, annoyed to realize that she was too much of a bubble-head to notice I was trying to convey annoyance. "I don't know where you're from. I do, however, know that you have a brother going to school with us. I'm not going to have my face bashed in because he's defending your honor or whatever the Code is in Texas."

"Jasper? Jasper doesn't care," she laughed. "And what else do you want to know about me? I'll, like, answer now."

Honestly, I didn't want to know anything about her. I could read her every thought, she was just as shallow inside as she appeared outside. She'd scream at the sight of blood, cry if she felt slighted. I knew her type well. She would pout if things didn't go her way instead of walking up to my car and confronting me. Yes, she had a slight southern accent, but she dressed like every other bimbo I knew.

"Well? I'm horny and you're one of the few good looking guys around."

That was one hell of an ego-booster, thanks. …but she wanted exactly what I wanted. I didn't know anymore. Bella Swan had me in knots. I was fighting myself, on unstable ground… I couldn't breathe because of Tanya's cheap fucking perfume, and I really, really wanted a cigarette. Frustration mounted, imploded, and I decided.

"Fuck it," I replied, "Let's go."

**Authors Note:**  
Thanks for all the reviews and story favorite, etc adds! It always makes me happy to see, I'm glad everyone seems to be liking the story!

**AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf, ParfaitCherie**-  
Thank you, thank you!  
**Tahughes-  
**Thanks for all the separate reviews! I love'em all! The gay question should be coming soon, I havent forgotten, haha.  
**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Thanks for sticking with the fanfic! What were you apprehensive about, if you don't mind me asking? Was it the tattoo-pierced bad-boy thing? I know, it's a used stereotype, but I'm trying to work with it, to evolve them as characters so I, and readers, can see beyond the image. I hope you continue to be interested, thank you!


	11. Think Like A Man

**Chapter 11  
- Think Like A Man  
**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
This chapter was originally over twenty pages long. I decided to cut it in half. Updates should be quick at least, right? I'll save the thank you's and everything for the next part, I don't want to break the flow of what should have been one chapter.

**Bella's Corset-**  
http:/www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/cgi/img-thing?(dot)out=jpg&size=l&tid=9861736**  
Bella's Shoes-**  
http:/www(dot)sweetboots(dot)com/newrock/platformanrk/th8317(dot)jpg  
(Really wish I could afford shit like this, haha. I have to make do with hot-topic and clearance sites. =P)  
**Jasper Whitlock**-  
http:/cm1(dot)theinsider(dot)com/media/0/521/99/jacksonx0.400x491.(dot)jpeg  
**- **Black and white, smoking, cowboy hat. Very nice, haha.  
**Jasper Whitlock 2-**  
http:/www(dot)ifelthope(dot)net/gallery/albums/Jackson%20Rathbone/Scans/May2009-InkedMagazine/normal_002(dot)jpg

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Smooth**- Santana  
**She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy**- Kenny Chesney  
**Over and Over**- Three Days Grace  
**Think Like A Man**- Orianthi  
**Dance in the Dark**- Lady Gaga

**Bella's Point of View**

It was Sunday. I really wanted to call Alice and make plans, but I figured the family had seen enough of me for one weekend. I had spent most of Friday night and almost all of Saturday taking advantage of their hospitality. Pancakes for 'breakfast,' a buffet of hot-pockets, popcorn, chips, and mini hot-dogs throughout the evening. Cheesecake set out for a late-night snack, I loved Esme. She had a knack for unerringly knowing what we'd want to eat. Before we knew it, a platter would be placed on the coffee-table.

I had offered to help, but she had literally forced me to leave the kitchen. They had a dishwasher, they didn't need me to wash dishes. Everything was spotless. There was nothing to clean. I wanted to help with the food preparation, but she swore consequences would be dire should I succeed in my offers of assistance. Accepting defeat was the only option.

Edward had been quiet, as per normal, yet he seemed to be relaxed and in a good mood. In the middle of Troy he had taken a smoke and shower break. I had been stupid enough to follow. If he hadn't taunted me with joining him I might have been less likely to go trotting after him like a puppy. A cigarette had seemed like a good idea. Just as I'd put it out, the door opened. Standing in steam, still dripping wet, Edward stood in the doorway. He wore nothing but a towel.

I rolled over to check the time. Charlie would be gone. Perfect. I rummaged through the remnants of my luggage. Lighting a cigarette, I was startled by the sharp smell. I opened a window quickly and replaced the damp towel under my door. I understood Edward's present now. I had been confused to see two books and a pack of cigarettes near my jacket. With him nowhere to be found, I buried the box in one of my pockets.

I giggled, marijuana cigarettes. Genius. I'd heard of them before, but no one had been willing to make them for me. I didn't have the slightest idea of how to make them myself. Why had he gone to all the trouble? Wasn't he worried Charlie would catch me? I laughed again, Edward probably hadn't thought I'd be smoking indoors. Alright, this would be my last one inside. I couldn't smell the pot, though I could taste it, strong and tart against my tongue. Ha, I located the small object wrapped in one of my shirts. Where were the batteries? Oh. In my desk, right. There. All set.

I carefully put the cigarette out on the tree leaning against my window. No cigarette butt's to give me away, no burn on the tree's bark for Charlie to zone in on. If he were straddling the branch looking in, he'd see it. I snorted at the thought, we'd have a lot more to worry about if that were the case.

I settled back in to bed looking forward to relieving some of my frustration. Where was I? Oh, aside from the fuck-hot, fire-in-my-veins kiss Edward had bestowed upon me Friday night, nothing else had transpired between us. Until the shower. Edward and his way-too-small towel covering something that appeared incredibly large in contrast to the now tenting fabric. He'd be warm to the touch, his skin slightly flushed. Eyes bright, happy. Black ink across one of his shoulders, a very sparse amount of hair spread across his chest. A ring through his nipple, a small line of brown on his stomach leading downward…

The way he had looked. Surprised, smug, then challenging. One of his pierced eyebrows raised as he waited for my reaction. I had run like a coward, but the image was seared into my memory. So many tattoo's, his hipbones sharp and pale in comparison. He had no ink that I could see below his waist. He licked his lip, crossed his arms. I followed the trail of his tongue, over one stud, his lip ring, another stud. Ugh! Fuck, fuck, shit. I clawed the sheets and rode out my orgasm. God yes. I fell asleep again for a few hours.

When I next awoke, it was two in the afternoon. A three hour nap after nearly nine hours of sleep. I was getting lazy. Time to start what was left of the day. I showered, changed, and started on dinner. Hamburgers and a few different salads were on the menu. I had given up trying to get Charlie to eat healthily. He snuck chocolate chip cookies, pie, pastries that I was sure Alice made him. I'd finally thrown in the towel, if he was going to eat junk food, I might as well serve what he liked with the hopes he'd lay off the rest.

"Smells damn good in here, Bells."

I liked that he called me by my old nick-name. I'd thought he'd forgotten. The day at the hospital had brought us closer together. How? I wasn't sure. I hadn't been in any immediate danger, he knew my penchant for clumsiness. All the same, he seemed even happier to have me around now.

"Thanks," I replied, smiling. Maybe he had been in a better mood because I'd stopped serving 'rabbit food.'

"How're you cooking them?" He took his jacket off and hung it on one of the pegs near the door. I was proud of him, he usually slung it over the couch or the back of his chair.

"Medium rare," I scoffed. "Is there any other way to eat a burger?"

"Hell no," he reached into the fridge for a beer.

His drinking didn't worry me, he usually stopped after three or four. And even then, that was over the course of an evening, not one after the other like he had in the past. So far as I knew, Charlie hadn't drank himself into oblivion in a long time.

"How's school going? You have a good time with the Cullen kids? We didn't get much time to talk what with you over there and all."

"Sorry," I offered hesitantly.

"No, I didn't mean that in a bad way," he reassured me, opening the bottle. "I'm glad you've made friends. Like I said, the Cullens are a good family. Was I right about- you know-?"

"I told you," I laughed. "I think you're right, that's all I'm saying on the matter." I felt a little bad telling that white-lie, but he'd be a lot more worried if he found out that a sexual relationship was blossoming between Edward and I. He certainly wouldn't let me go over there anymore unattended.

Besides, I had yet to ask if Edward were bisexual. There was always the possibility, and once I found out he was, it wouldn't be a lie. It'd be a half-truth, nothing like a lie. His main concern was my safety. I was perfectly safe with Edward and Alice, and, when it came to it, I'd be really safe with Edward, alone.

"School's going well. I don't anticipate any problems, the subject matter's easy enough."

"You read all the time," Charlie added, in what I hoped was a hopeful statement.

"Yeah, I do."

"It's a good thing," he added gruffly. "With everything that happened- your mother. The schooling situation. Well, I'm proud of you. You asking for help, I knew that couldn't have been easy for ya. And then moving your senior year, settling in here so easily. You were always a versatile kid. Grown up now, I suppose."

"Not so much," I took the steaks off the grill. "I still have acne breakouts."

"Yeah, well, get used to that. Mine stopped somewhere in my thirties."

"No," I pretended to be horrified. "You can't be serious."

"Sorry," he shrugged.

I loved Charlie. He was so easy to be around. No emotional outbursts or clingy moments of panic. He was very straight-forward. If there was a problem he'd bring it up bluntly. There was no beating around the subject like Renee was prone to do for hours. He didn't take an unhealthy fascination with my life, my friends, the guys I was seeing. Mom had. Sometimes, out of the blue, she'd sit me down and make me recount, nearly second to second, what had happened for the past, however much time she chose.

Charlie basically needed to know whether I'd be safe where, and with whom I was with. Curfew, I had realized, was negotiable past the limits we'd set. Like with Alice, he had let me stay the night, and probably last night too, if I had pushed a little. So long as I continued to do well in school, I didn't foresee any major problems in our future. Good food, a responsible daughter; Charlie was content, and I was happy because of it.

"You know, acne will go away. The damage to your lungs won't."

Shit. "There's no point in denying it, huh?"

"I smelled it on you the moment you got into my car. I thought maybe it was because you'd been on the plane, I know they don't allow that anymore, but all the same. Then I smelled it again when you'd come home from school. Doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

"What, um, d'you want me to say?"

"You're, what, eighteen? You can make up your own mind. I smoked awhile back. And I quit. I went to a hypnotist down in Port Angeles. Some kind of new scientific breakthrough, they said I wouldn't have the craving for one so much anymore. I figured, what the hell. Went and let them put me under. I guess its worked, haven't needed one since."

"I don't remember you smoking."

"No, you wouldn't. I never lit up around you. Only outside or while on duty. I didn't want to bring that stuff around you."

"Oh," I arranged the burgers in buns and put my bowls of salad onto the table.

"Like I said, its your decision. I'd prefer you not smoke in the house, but if you must… restrict it to your room and keep the window open all the time. I'd hope you don't smoke more than half a pack, preferably less?"

"Yeah," I stretched the truth. Again, not a lie. I would do my best to keep it under half a pack, in the house. Assuming he meant per day, I wasn't going to verify. I had started smoking, and even on my best day, no less than six or seven cigarettes a day. Now, it was closer to a pack and a half, especially with all the time Charlie was working when I had the house to myself. Today had been the first time I'd lit up indoors.

"Well, alright," Charlie shrugged. "You get to repaint when you decide to move out. The entire house, mind you, not just your room."

"Done," I agreed. This was so damn surreal. Who would have ever guessed? "Thanks."

"You're not looking for trouble, you don't drink. Everyone has some sort of vice. I trust you to keep yours under control."

"I do." That hadn't been a lie at all. I never drove after drinking or smoking mj. Yes, both impaired my judgment, but I was never dangerous about it unless I was in trusted company. Days of harder drug use were over, I didn't like what they did to my mind and body. Weed was safe, it was even legal in some states.

We finished dinner by sticking to general conversational topics. All was quiet, according to him. He read the paper while I cleaned up and prepared cherry pie and low-fat ice-cream. Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

We watched some television, Charlie commented only positively about dessert. Good, the pie had been sugar-free. I finished my homework and packed my book bag. Edward had given me 'Fight Club' and 'House of Leaves' to read. I had already read most of Palahniuk's novels, though I'd never heard of Mark Z. Danielewski. It looked interesting.

Four cigarettes later, feeling high and happy, I dreamed about a stripper with a bunny tattoo and Edward Cullen.

**o . o . o**

I got to school the next day refreshed and, now, high. Examining my outfit, I didn't see anything wrong with it. I wore a pair of torn jeans, a cute oriental-style corset. With light green eye-shadow and light pink lips, I looked pretty good. Thanks to Alice's text-message: 'no sharp heels, rain incoming,' I was in my broken-in, thick-heeled goth boots. The design almost matched the logo on Edward's hoodie, which I was wearing instead of my leather jacket.

I checked the time; shit, I was a little bit late. My truck was heartily protesting being driven without a proper warm-up. I'd take better care of her in the future, Charlie hadn't been home when I woke up. Considering my reaction to Edward, I had wanted to work off some extra tension before seeing him again.

Stopping at my locker, I grabbed the books I'd need. The hallways were jam-packed, where would Edward be? He hadn't been smoking outside. If he wasn't with Alice, no, I checked her locker, he would probably be at his own.

Bingo.

Before I had a chance to say hi, I had to blink once or twice to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Was that? No way- an honest to goodness cowboy was walking the hallways. I wanted to go over and see if his hat was authentic, if his boots were real leather. No fucking way.

"New guy?" If anyone would know, Edward definitely would have been informed.

"Taken," he said unhelpfully.

I studied the new guy while I thought about Edward's answer. Taken? He wasn't really my type though I didn't let that stop me from looking. I preferred my men tattooed, pierced, well spoken, and leather-clad. New guy fulfilled one aspect of my criteria. Wait, had he meant… was he bisexual? Had he, I tried not to laugh- had Edward already called dibs on Jasper?

I glanced at Edward. There was no contest. I felt my amusement fade as two emotions filtered across his expression. Anger and possession. Next thing I knew, he was pressing me against the lockers, lips pressed against me, one leg between mine. I twined my hands in his hair and groaned as he rocked his hips. I bit down accidentally as one of my knees gave out. He supported me, bringing me closer to him, and opened his mouth. Warmth, his tongue ring smooth. He tasted of cigarettes, smelled like smoke and all things masculine.

Wearing a leather jacket, one of his band shirts, and baggy black jeans, I thought he looked amazing. As always. Edward Cullen could pull off any outfit, I hated him a little because of it. I had a specific body type, wearing anything but tried-and-true variations on outfits made me seem short and mouse-like. Even with heels on he stood a good two or three inches above me. Without the extra height, I'd be dwarfed by him. I liked it a lot. His fingers dug into my hips roughly as he stepped back.

"See you at lunch," he closed his locker and walked away.

What the fuck? The bell was going to ring, sure, but that was it? Sadistic and masochistic, my short alone session earlier was doing nothing to alleviate the desire coursing through me. Why had he been so angry? Possessive. _Because you were looking at another man._

That couldn't be it. Edward didn't care, did he? I felt the anger rise as I formed a conclusion. He had seemed fine before the cowboy showed up. Then, bam, he was all over me as new guy walks past. Was it really because I'd displayed appreciation for another male? He hadn't claimed anything, I wasn't anything to him. If he thought he could walk around, kissing me whenever I thought about flirting with someone, well, I'd be a very happy chick. _No, you won't_... the voice inside me screamed.

Right, I wasn't happy about this. If Edward wanted me, he could damn well do something about it. Coolly walking away, not in the least bit ruffled… smug, even, he had another thing coming. I wasn't a damn toy. He couldn't become all pissed-off if someone else wanted to play with me, if he was no longer… I didn't even want to finish that thought. When, and if something happened between us, it wouldn't be because he were using me. Maybe I needed to make that clear. I'd meet him at lunch and clear the air, I wanted no details spared.

Lunch-time, finally! Classes had been _dragging_ by. if it weren't for my I-pod and a nicely concealed book, I'd have lost it.

"Bella, Bella, oh my god, you have no idea… Jasper… we talked… his accent!"

"Alice, calm down," I laughed and put my hands on her shoulders. With the way she was bouncing around, talking a mile a minute without making any sense, I was afraid she'd spontaneously combust. "Now, slowly, what's going on?"

"Have you seen the new people yet?"

"I saw one of them, a guy. Cowboy hat and boots?"

"Yeah," she smiled dreamily. "He's from Texas, name's Jasper Whitlock."

"Very nice," I took her by the shoulders and led her to the lunch-room. She needed sustenance, definitely no more sugar. Tea, wasn't tea supposed to be soothing, relaxing? Snapple. Probably not. I grabbed two sandwiches, two bottles of Sprite, and two oatmeal cookies. Alice liked sweet food, as was apparent by her never-ending supply of energy. Denying her cookies would break her heart, at least I knew she liked oatmeal. Chocolate chip, god forbid a sugar cookie- she'd be bouncing off the walls.

"He's got an accent," she continued. "And he worked on a ranch, re-enacted Civil War battles, raised horses. He really is a cowboy."

"And you want him," I supplied, knowing where this was going.

"I really do," she giggled. "And I think he feels the same about me." That's what Edward had meant! Some of my confusion was alleviated, but- no, Alice-time, I'd deal with Edward later.

"You work fast," I complimented.

"So do you." She went for the cookies first. I sighed and unwrapped one of my sandwiches. Edward was nowhere in sight. He was probably smoking outside again. There were more important matters at hand, he could come find me if he really wanted to talk.

"Tell me more. How many kids does he want? Do you plan for a winter or spring wedding? Personally, I'd go for Fall. Halloween costumes or a masquerade, it'd be a lot of fun."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes. "It's nothing like that. He told me my eyes were cornflower blue and he said I was sweet, though."

"What prompted that?"

"I did my usual, you know, 'Welcome to Forks, my name's Alice' thing. He seemed really interested in the school and upcoming activities."

"Alice, please tell me you didn't paraphrase the state's website."

Right before I'd left, Alice had showed me a few good web-pages for online shopping. They specialized in unique outfits, a little pricey, but more than worth it if I were willing to spend that much. I might be. I had taken over to show her a few of my favorites when I stumbled across the Committee folder with school and state information. I had been amused, and alarmed, when she told me about her notebook of interesting facts and places, which she carried around in her bag.

"Well, not really…"

"You did, didn't you," I covered my mouth so turkey wouldn't go spewing across the table-top. Table-manners, me? Usually.

"I filled him in on a few of the better places. He mentioned liking fishing, hunting, and hiking… so I told him about a one or two, maybe four, hiking spots and fishing locations. I didn't go over-board, he appreciated it," she defended herself.

"I'm sure he did," I said as she bit her lip, unsure. I wanted her to be confident, happy, not worried. "Did he make any plans with you concerning said tourist places?"

"Uh, not concretely."

"But?"

Alice picked at the cellophane of her sandwich, "He seemed really curious about the dance coming in a week. I think he asked me to go with him, but I'm not sure."

"What did he say?"

"He, er, asked me to keep my schedule cleared because he intends to call on me."

"No," my jaw dropped. "He wants to _call_ on you?"

"Hot, right?"

"Hell yes!" I smiled happily.

"Alice Cullen, if I remember correctly." Cowboy boots came into view, I instantly scooted over so he could sit next to her.

"And Bella Swan," I offered him my hand after I realized Alice wasn't going to say anything. Her eyes pleaded with mine, I knew the feeling. Between forming words into sentences and actually speaking them, the brain short-circuited.

"Jasper. Nice to meet you," he drawled. "Would you mind if I join you?"

I liked his laugh, it was easy, free. He was very nice to look at, I could see why Alice was tongue-tied. He looked rakish with above-the-shoulder chestnut hair, green eyes. They were really green, especially in this light. Unlike Edward's, they were no hints of blue thrown in.

"You have a tattoo," Alice squeaked.

"Yeah, darlin', I do," he looked up at the brim of his hat. "My apologies, I'm not remembering my manners."

I think Alice came as he removed his hat and shook his head slightly. She nearly drooled when he ran a hand through his hair. I could see no calculation on his face or in his body language. He was completely at ease, with good table manners, to boot.

"Forgive me for not wanting to go into meanings?" Well-spoken, too, I noted.

"Of course," Alice smiled. "I wouldn't have asked."

Things were under control here, time for me to make a graceful escape. I read nothing callous or mean-spirited in Jasper Whitlock. He was keeping a nice space between them, though I could see Alice edging closer. Every now and again he'd look down as if all the attention embarrassed him. Angling his body toward Alice, he was still withdrawn despite his openness with her. There was nothing to fear about him. Hell, I could probably take him if I had to.

Viable excuse number three thousand and sixteen. "I'm going to study in the library, I've got a test later."

"Want help?"

"No," I smiled at Alice's offer, "I'm good. Stay, converse."

"It was nice meeting you, Bella Swan," he stood as I did. Alice gave me wide eyes behind his back, I winked reassuringly.

"A pleasure, Jasper." His eyes met mine for three seconds. I mentally thanked Renee for enrolling me in Etiquette classes when I was younger. Who would have known I'd be standing across from a southern gentleman who knew the nuances of courtship. As was expected of him, he took notice of my leaving. When he stood, I knew that he'd follow the guide-lines established centuries ago. I had received his full attention, as was warranted any female speaking, yet his interest was clearly focused on Alice.

I walked away and heard him sit back down. There were so many comments he could have made, I'd heard many sexual variants. Jasper had nodded at me, smiled. Classy of him. Polite rejection with an open suggestion of friendship. If he weren't careful, girls here were going to tear him apart.

The bell would ring in four minutes. I walked through the front doors and outside, marveling at the lack of security. Phoenix had metal detectors, security guards posted at the doors, four who walked the hallways while school was in session. Pat-downs and book bag searches were a common thing. I had made friends with most of the guards. They had stopped pulling me aside after a few packs of cigarettes and three months of good-girl behavior. I was on a first name basis with them come sophomore year. It made drug carrying and weapon concealing so much easier.

Where the fuck was Edward? Had he barricaded himself in the men's restroom? I knew for damn sure that the library was closed, he couldn't be there. I was in his smoking section; what the fuck? I heard the bell ring.

Fuck it, I wanted to finish my cigarette. No one but Petry made a fuss if I were late. Better than freezing on concrete, I could sit in the draft-free confines of my truck. That's when I saw him. He wouldn't be able to see me from this angle, I was parked near the staff's cars. Edward's Volvo was around the side of school's wall. To go over, not to go over. How badly did I want answers? No, how badly did I want to see him? I cursed him soundly as I walked over. If I had been in stiletto's, I'd have waited until after school to find him.

"You could get in trouble for skipping classes, you know." Not that I was one to talk. "Nice ride," I admired his car. He took good care of it, the paint sparkled, I could see my reflection in the sleek metal. It had recently been washed, vacuumed too from the look of things.

He had his feet propped on the dashboard. Okay, so it was lived in, but there were no fast-food wrappers or bags strewn along the floors. I climbed inside taking his silence as invitation. The seats were soft, leather, I made sure to be careful of my rings. All I needed was for my claw to bring stuffing pouring out of the pristine seats; Edward would love that.

I made myself comfortable. Taking his lead, I stretched my legs out. He shot me a quick glance, glaring briefly at my shoes.

"Sorry, do you mind?"

"No," he replied nearly burning his hand with the amount of ash collected on his cigarette.

At his continued silence, I sighed and pulled a book out of my bag. The music was good, I had no complaints. I stretched out further resting my ankles on his legs. Warmth, finally. With both of our windows open, I had given up on the 'safe, breeze-free' aspect of smoking inside of a vehicle.

"Smoke one of these," I plucked the cigarette out of his hand deftly and replaced it with the one I'd been smoking. "Lighten up, it's alright. Only two more classes to go." At least that's what I kept telling myself. I was looking forward to hearing more from Alice, somehow I knew she'd be finding me, or vice-versa, once the final bell had rang.

"What do you think about it?"

My book moved as he tapped the cover. Conversation time, huh? "I don't know yet," I answered honestly. "I haven't gotten far enough to form any formal opinions."

"Seriously?" Again, he was asking a question that didn't need to be answered. He wasn't really addressing me, I knew the signs by now.

"Yeah," I replied.

Maybe it was my fault. My answers sometimes took people by surprise. Edward didn't seem to be the type to misunderstand. I didn't want to say 'it's good,' or 'it's fine.' They were such cop-out answers, neither of those phrases really told me anything. If a book were truly good, I wanted a passionate answer. And, the highest compliment of all, in my opinion, was to hear that they trusted my judgment enough to actually give the book some thought. I tried to do the same for everyone who recommended something they'd loved.

Uh-oh. His eyes were darkening again. I had three options to pick from. "… don't jump me again." I'd remember that expression for a long time. Right before he'd backed me against the lockers, his eyes had looked just like that.

"What?" Confusion replaced lust, I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted us to talk, not go at one another like hormonal, well, us.

"You, you're looking at me like you did this morning. I'm not interested in Jasper, if that makes you feel any better," I decided to pounce on the problem. "I've already had a long conversation with Alice over lunch."

I watched, amazed, as four emotions ran across his face. Surprise, anger, acceptance, fury. What the fuck was with him? We continued talking, tension in the car growing as his eyes darkened. I stayed more toward aggressive than passive. Edward had a very dominant personality, I wasn't going to let him roll over me without offering some sort of resistance. At one point, I couldn't help smacking him. Better to release a bit of my irritation with him that way than to full out swing at him. I was tempted to punch him anyway. It was getting close to the breaking point. I needed to act in one way or another.

"First you're angry," shit, the tirade had started. Too late, it felt good. "Then you glare at me. Next you're making casual conversation, you seemed pissed off again, briefly, and now it appears you're amused by something. What the fuck, man?"

His eyebrows came together as I finished. Still nothing. He looked as though speech was imminent, I was tired of waiting.

"I thought we were back to being friends, or at least trying. This weekend went well enough! You talked, laughed, seemed happier. Today? I don't know anymore. What the fuck do you want from me?" So much anger, I fumed silently to gain patience and missed a lot of what he was saying. I could read his body language, that's all I needed to see. So long as he was pissed, I got the gist of what he was saying.

"You think I hate you?" he asked.

That phrase stuck out. What the fuck had I been saying? His voice; low, confused. No emotion, he was carefully treading the water. Sure, be pissed-off every other second of the day…

"Sometimes! What would you think of a person who gives you death stares, 'you've fucked with me' looks. And then who calmly walks away after nearly fucking me into the lockers? What game are you playing? I refuse to participate. I'm done, I tap out," I slammed my hand against the seat. "You win, happy?"

"It's not a game," he said in the same inflection.

It nearly set me off again, but he was actually going to continue this time. I could feel it, the nervous energy coiled and finally broke.

"I wasn't aware of, well, shit!" The real Edward was back and better than ever. His eyes flashed, fury drowned whatever nervousness lingered. "I know that I have a tendency to glare at people," he was making an effort to calm himself down. "For you, it's… not what you think. You fucking confuse the shit out of me, you know that? You say I'm fucking difficult? What about you?"

Like a switch, one second calming down, the next an explosion of frustration. I called the emotion home and used it to fuel mine. "What the fuck about me?" Like a game of Pong, the energy was building with each pass. From him, to me, back to him; one of us would snap and soon. What was he talking about? I mentioned cowboys once, pirates maybe twice. In my point of view, that was a fucking record. I liked cartoons, what was the big fucking deal? A school teacher? What in hell did that mean? And my references weren't that outlandish, he could go and fuck himself.

"You all but fucking offer to screw me, then you cold shoulder me…"

"I've done no such thing!" How _dare_ he blame me for teasing. Not with his 'kiss and bail' this morning. "You, need I repeat myself, were the one to walk the fuck away from me. You made it really damn clear that you wanted me, after I woke up in bed with you-"

I ignored him as he sighed sharply. I was speaking, he could fucking deal with it.

"You didn't even fucking kiss me goodbye when I was leaving." Okay, way to sound like an outraged girlfriend. Time to backtrack. "You disappeared! Yeah, you let me take your books, you made cigarettes for me, but then what? You didn't fucking call, I had to come find you twice." Less girlfriend, more shrew. I was okay with that. "I told you to meet me at lunch."

He told me to? I don't remember giving him that power over me.

"Bullshit! I know why you kissed me. You gave him the same look you gave me," talk about harassment. "Its pretty fucking obvious, but let me clear this up for you real quick. I fucking belong to nobody. I'm not having this territorial bullshit happen again." Damnit. Over-sharing. That hadn't been in any way relevant to our conversation. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

"You sure didn't seem to fucking mind me guarding your back at the hospital."

Of all the- below the fucking belt hit! Asshole!

"And what the fuck do you mean _again_?"

Perceptive fucking prick! Ignore it entirely, move on to the pressing matters. "I know nothing about you! You have my gratitude for the pot and alcohol. I've already thanked you for the help you showed me at the hospital." Good, set him up, watch him fall. Take away all of his leverage. "Why go to all that trouble if you're going to ignore me in public? Oh," I realized it immediately. I had been an idiot. "I know why."

"No, its not fucking like that," his eyes bore into mine. "I didn't do all of that just to fuck you. Bella... fuck! If I wanted to do that, I'd have done it already."

That's what he thought. No, I admitted, we probably would have were it not for his self-control. I had none when it came to him, though I was beginning to find some. There was nothing wrong with discretion. Sneaking around so no one found out, I didn't want to fuck him in dark closets or hunched down in the backseat of my truck. If he wanted to keep me a secret... I had heard it once or twice; mostly from guys who had a girlfriend and wanted to see me on the side. It broke my code, I never accepted or believed anything they said.

"I haven't used any lines on you," he snapped. "You want the world to know we're friends? Fine! Buy the fucking shirt! I'll wear it! I… I actually fucking like you, alright? So... shut the fuck up and calm down."

What? - wait. I really needed to take a deep breath. This was insane. Yelling at one another in the school parking lot, we weren't even friends, according to him. Why expend all of this energy? I lit another cigarette. I went over everything he'd said, to the best of my recollection. He was willing to be friends and he liked me? Was I supposed to throw a party? Strip down and take him now?

"You have a damn strange way of showing it," I said finally. His rage beat against mine, I stopped fighting it. Things calmed immediately. "So you like me, big deal. Try showing it, why don't you? I'll see you in Spanish class," I opened the door and stepped out. If his hoodie weren't keeping me warm, I'd have left it on the seat.

I wanted to punch a locker so hard I could feel my knuckles aching for contact. I didn't. Administration might call Dad. Being head of his branch, it'd be mortifying for him. Charlie Swan responding to a call regarding his daughter and school damage costs; he'd never live it down.


	12. Sex On Fire

**Chapter 12  
- Sex On Fire**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note: **  
I'm trying to keep the facts of Forks, Washington true. I've actually learned a lot about the state, haha.  
Bella asks Alice the question that pertains to this link:  
http:/www(dot)forkswa(dot)com/details/sol-duc-valley-packers(dot)html  
- Since I've never _been_ to Forks, I'm taking fictional liberties with said places, but at least they exist?

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Going the Distance**- Cake  
**Love Game**- Lady Gaga  
**Whataya Want From Me**- Adam Lambert  
**Loaded and Alone**- Hinder  
**Sex on Fire**- Kings of Leon

**Bella's Point of View**

"There you are!"

I had been putting books away at my locker. Giving in to laziness was one thing, but carrying all of the books I'd need for the day, in addition to the ones already in my bag from home... Esmeralda had appealed to me more than Quasimodo. The voice was unmistakable, I closed the door partially and smiled when I saw her. "Alice?"

"Hey," she smiled sadly. "I had a feeling something was wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," I reassured her. "How did your lunch go with Jasper?"

"Fantastically," her sadness faded to barely concealed excitement. "Thanks, by the way, for…"

"No need," I shrugged. "Its what any friend would do. Want to hear my opinion?"

"We should get out of the halls," she grabbed my hand. "Come on, I know you want to smoke."

Of course I wanted to smoke. "Only regular cigarettes," I let her lead me back out into the parking lot. "I'll have to drive soon."

Fuck Spanish class, I had a friend in need of some girl-time. I knew how things would go, anyway. The entire period would be spent in uncomfortable silence. Edward would glare at me a billion times, and I'd ignore him. Best to delay all of that for now. I turned the heat on in my truck and made sure both windows were open.

"You sure it doesn't bother you?" I held up one of my cigarettes so she knew what I was referencing.

"I've been around it for most of my life," she rolled her eyes. "Jasper smokes, too."

"Had to ask, you know?" I lit up and immediately missed the sharp taste of mary-jane. No, responsibility came first. I would _not_ drive while under the influence. Most people had no problem functioning, but I didn't want to take that chance.

"So what's up with you and Edward?"

"Absolutely nothing," I replied firmly.

"Really? Because I happened to look out one of the windows and you guys were having some sort of heated discussion."

"Shit."

"I don't think anyone else saw," she hastened to add. "Everyone's preoccupied with Jasper and Tanya."

"How are you handling that?"

"Well… I sort-of asked him about it."

"Alice," I laughed. "Stop holding back, I'm a good listener and I can actually keep up with you when you're in one of those 'never take a breath' excited moods. Let lose, I can handle it."

"You sure?"

"Balls to the wall."

"What about you?" She paused, "wait, what? Balls to the wall?"

"Go all out," I laughed. "That's what it means. It's not dirty. I don't know if I'm right, but it has to do with pilots and pushing the throttle forward all the way. I'm pretty sure it grants a boost of speed or something."

"…alrighty then. We're talking about you after, then."

And, unfortunately, she wouldn't forget. "I'm fine," I held both my arms up in a surrendering action. "Go, for the love of Christ, I'm scared for you. All of that energy- my truck's going to explode."

"Okay," she hugged herself. "So Jasper… he says that he really likes it here. It's a change, of course, but one he says he's adjusting to well. He hinted, at lunch, that if I enjoyed the outdoors, camping, hiking- he said he'd teach me to fish. I don't think I can do it, though," Alice chewed on her lip. "The hook, and the fish, the worm part's fine, I don't mind creepy-crawly things. But, Bella, gross! I can't stick a hook through it! And then the fish's mouth… what if he thinks I'm too much of a girl? What if he thinks I'm too _city_ for him? I can't rope or ride or pitch a tent! I can help him pack for the weather, organize everything so he'll be prepared for anything Washington throws at him, but… I'm going to learn to fish and I don't want…"

"Why not tell him that? There are other things to do around here. You can still hike and camp out under the stars," I grinned as her eyes went misty. "I'm sure he won't hold fishing against you. I can teach you to ride a horse- no, why not ask to ride _with_ him? Wait a minute, where the hell are there horses? Is this even an issue?"

"There's a stable not too far from here. They offer trail-rides and horseback riding…"

"No way, I'm going to _need_ to check that out."

"Bella! Horses are cool, they're awesome- I _don't know how to ride one_. And I don't think they're going to let him… rent one? Do you _rent_ a horse? Borrow one?"

"Okay, time to calm down," I hooked my I-pod into the speakers and played some of my country music. "If _you're_ the one taking care of things, just call them. Say you're looking for a two people package. Then ask about their trail-riding offers. Use whatever terminology they do."

"Cool," she took a deep breath. "I can do that."

"Not to mention, Jasper seems very etiquette-conscientious. He'll most likely take care of the planning, transportation, and everything else. He's certainly not going to make _you_ do any manual labor, and if he does I'll kick his ass. Chances are, if you tell him that you're wary of fishing, he'll probably find it cute."

Alice winced. I made a mental note not to call her cute anytime in the future.

"Is there any time-limit?"

"Hang on," she waved her hand wildly, working herself back up again. "I'm not at that point yet."

"By all means." I settled in and lit another cigarette. Remembering Alice's penchant for bouncing all over the place, I kept my hand out the window. Nothing would catch on fire that way.

"So I asked him if all the attention bothered him, you know, everyone stopping, staring. Apparently it doesn't, he's so _relaxed _about everything! He told me that aside from the scenery- it being green instead of… sandy? What's it like in Texas? Is there a lot of sand and cacti?"

"Why not ask him that?"

"Good point. Anyway, he says that our school isn't that different from his. He appreciates the small-town feeling and he already feels comfortable here. Tanya, his sister, sounds like a complete and utter bitch. She sleeps around- did you know that she's his half-sister? Apparently their mother divorced his father when he was, like, four. She got married a year later to another guy, had a kid, and now… after she divorced second husband a year ago…"

"They got back together after all of that? Jasper's dad and mom?"

"Yeah! Crazy, right?"

"Really, I agree. That's sort-of insane"

"Jasper thinks so, too. He doesn't like being home much because they're either fighting or… other stuff. I think that's why he appreciated my information, you know, the facts that you make fun of me for?" she raised her eyebrow at me without any malice on her expression. "He used to spend nights in their stable, ranching was his escape. He doesn't have any 'out' here."

I could empathize. Forks wasn't a problem, Phoenix had been. Jasper's parents had divorced, I could relate. Charlie and Renee were my parents, I didn't have any siblings. Fighting or fucking, I don't know which would be worse. Would I have traded Renee and Phil's loud screwing compared to the thought of them yelling at one another all the time? It was a toss-up.

Needing to escape, I knew exactly how that felt. Aside from the time's Rosalie called, I was hardly home after I'd turned sixteen. I fell asleep on 'friend's' couches, I had rented a motel room quite a few times for night's of getting high and drinking. They provided the pot and alcohol, I got us the space. Anything was better than being home alone with Phil. He'd curse and grunt, I'd make him dinner, clean whatever he told me too. I'd have to listen to him bitch about how much money it cost to feed me, to buy my clothes- bullshit, I bought my own shit. I fed myself most of the time, purchased my own school supplies. I had cost him nothing.

I almost wanted to thank him; if it weren't for his constant complaining about everything involving me, I wouldn't have had the balls to inquire about side-jobs. I wouldn't have been introduced to contacts, given access to drugs, which, in turn, gave me access to a fount of wealth.

Carrying was dangerous. The drug-carting business had its perils, sure, but it was less dangerous than some of the other things I'd seen. Transporting heroin or lsd, coke, even, from one place to the other was a breeze. I didn't look tough or dangerous, I'd had a few run-ins with cops, but aside from the one or two times I'd been caught- and escaped- nothing bad had happened.

When Rosalie's friend Victoria moved out of her parent's house and rented a small apartment, all of us spent most of our time with her. I hadn't time to get used to Victoria's place because I had moved to Forks shortly thereafter. I didn't need an escape here. Forks _was_ my escape. Alice had found me, taken me as her new best-friend, and Charlie was easy to be around. He felt like a dad first, a friend second, but it worked. We made it work.

"Tanya irritates him- she spilled red nail-polish all over his truck this morning. Isn't it nice, though? The truck, not the irreparable damage to his seats. His dad got it for him as an 'I'm sorry' present for moving all the way out here. His parents think a change of scenery will help their marriage. Jasper didn't care, he wants to travel anyway."

"Uh-oh, what does that mean?"

"He'll be here for the school year, at least. Once we all graduate, so much is going to change. I don't know what I'm going to do. Do I want to stay here and go to a community college? Sign up to get an online degree? I don't know what Edward has planned, either. He never talks about the future."

"That's a shock."

Whoops, Alice looked suspicious. I latched onto one of the things she'd said and did the mental calculations.

"Wait, that means Tanya's only…" how old did that make her? "Seventeen?"

"Sixteen or seventeen, yeah," Alice rolled her eyes. "One year below us, or at least that's where they put her."

"As to the questions you had- don't worry about it. There's plenty of time to think about colleges and acceptance letters later. School just started. You have a hot cowboy that's interested in you, and you're making plans with him on the first day. Focus on the important things," I grinned.

I wondered why they hadn't taken care of that last year. That's when I had done all of my college research; I had almost enough in my bank-account for two years tuition, at reasonable prices. I wasn't sure that college was the way to go. Whatever, as I'd told Alice, it didn't matter right now. If I received any acceptance letters, I'd deal with any and all decisions as they came.

"Like you," she stated.

"Me?"

"Yes. You let me ramble on for the past half-hour. Now its your turn. What's up?"

I shifted, uncomfortable with the subject matter. "You're his sister, you know?"

"Yeah, so? I know you guys haven't done it yet."

"Alice!"

"Well you haven't," she insisted. "Edward's way too edgy, you guys fought today. C'mon, you made _me_ talk. Take a deep breath and start, that works for me all the time."

"First, I didn't _make_ you talk. It was inevitable. Second, my lung capacity isn't nearly as impressive as yours."

"That's cause you smoke," she smirked. "I'm waiting…"

"This isn't awkward for you at _all_?"

"Not really. I mean, I'm sure you know that Edward has experience when it comes to sex and all of that stuff."

"You're a virgin," I heard myself say. Alice looked shocked at the accusation in my tone. We both started laughing.

"Yeah, I am," she giggled. "You sound so… horrified!"

"No, no, I'm so sorry. I'm not horrified. Just, you were so…" I needed water. Thankfully I'd stashed a bottle in my bag. I offered some to Alice when I was finished. "I'm so sorry."

"It s okay. I'm assuming you're not-?"

'Sex and all of that stuff,' I had known that second. It didn't change anything, certainly not. Alice had sounded so… cute! I'd never heard a statement about sex sound so damn _pure_.

"Nope," I fought a blush. "Haven't been for awhile."

"Doesn't matter," she said matter-of-factly. "It doesn't _mean_ anything, right?"

"Not at all," I grinned. "You were saying?"

"Yeah, about Edward.

"I guessed that, Ali. He's not exactly subtle about it."

"Have you guys kissed yet?"

Again, she made it sound so fucking… romantic. I hadn't missed that aspect when it came to the way Edward kissed me. I liked the fire, and lack of control, it was pure in its own way. He had held nothing back, I'd felt the connection grow stronger, its what I had needed, at the moment, and still wanted.

"Yeah," I said instead of going into detail. "Okay, I'm not the most open of people. So in order to do this friend thing we have going on… I'm gonna have to adapt your method, okay?"

She was going to have to bear with me. Usually my method of dealing entailed barricading myself in my room, turning on some good music, and reading a good book. The book was just a pretense. I'd let the music wash over me and go over every detail until I'd gained a full understanding of what had happened. More often than not, I'd see things from both points of view- which made debating hell for me- and I'd come to a logical, rational explanation along with plans of action or retribution. Until the barricading myself in a room part- I was able to maintain an aloof façade, shoving all of what bothered me to the side.

Alice was a real friend. I'm not saying that Rosalie wasn't. Rose and I were less... vocal friends, is all. Like with Edward, a single glance spoke volumes. I liked being considered Alice's real friend. Our conversation was fun, even now that she was forcing me to talk about my feelings. Feelings? Me? No way.

"And you'll have to excuse my language. I might curse a lot, hope it doesn't offend you."

"Um, again," she stated. "Edward?"

Right. King of all things foul and perverse.

"Okay, you asked for it…"

"You're so funny," she giggled lightly.

I took a deep breath, focused on the beginning and started speaking. "So the first day I'm here, he glares at me with the 'you're hot' look. All class period fucking long. I don't remember very much up to being in the ambulance and arriving at the hospital. What the hell happened after I fell? Why did I have his shirt around my head?"

I actually had to stop a moment to congratulate myself. I was still in a good frame of mind. 'why was your brother standing hot and gorgeous in the hallway without a shirt on?' No, my mind had filtered that to the question I'd asked aloud.

"And what the hell? I actually thought he hated me. Apparently I'm wrong. He doesn't hate me. I'm _different_. What the fuck does that mean? He gets me pot, makes me cigarettes, gives me books to read- glares at me, barely says anything- kisses me, twice, what the _fuck_, Alice?"

"Um…"

The anger was back and pulsing. I wanted to stop and let her speak, but the momentum hadn't let up. "He gave me his _knife_, you don't _do_ that for someone unless they mean more than a free-fuck. Right? Why go through all of the trouble? And then he assures me that I'm not just someone he wants to fuck. Yet friendship isn't on the agenda. What the fuck does that leave? We're not going to be friends, we'll be fuck-buddies? No? Yes? He never says anything with any finality. Open-ended sentences is all I get. Well, I'm sorry, I need a little structure. He lends me books, you tell me that he doesn't let girls stay over, ever, yet he sat in the car and-"

"Bella!"

"Did you know that he doesn't move when I punch him? No reaction. His eyes got a little darker, it seemed as though he'd say something, but, as always. Nothing!"

"Isabella Swan!"

"What?" She jolted me back to reality. "What? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Alice laughed. "Good, I've got your attention. Do you realize that I can listen as fast as I speak and yet you've made _no_ sense since you started? Its like you're having an internal conversation aloud or something. Give me a minute, I'll voice-record it and play the rest back for you after."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No," she rubbed my arm. "I'm taking over from here on out though. First thing- go back to the first day with me, okay?"

"Fine," I tried not to glare at her.

"The reason his shirt was on your head was because you were bleeding, remember the blood?"

"Um… no. I know they told me I had a gash or something, but it wasn't bad enough to warrant stitches. Head wounds tend to bleed a lot."

"Yeah. Edward saw it and flipped out. He staunched the bleeding with his shirt and got water to try and revive you. When the ER guys got there, you were coherent; Edward made sure you didn't have a concussion. He checked the rest of your wounds and we got out of a fight before he talked to Carlisle at the hospital."

"Fight?"

"Yeah," Alice looked smug, "Tyler stopped to apologize to me for what happened. Edward was in a hurry, they exchanged words, and Tyler punched Edward across the face."

"... what happened?"

"Edward had him on top of a car, ready to beat the living crap out of him, but- uh, I interceded."

"Thank fuck," I breathed out in relief. No one was getting in trouble for me. This year was going to be trouble free.

"This is my recount of things, alright? Maybe you can clarify things for me so I can, then, clarify things for you."

"Shoot," I said.

"I go to call your dad. When I come back out to the lobby, you're screaming. Edward's pushing people out of the way to get to you," she bit her lip to keep from laughing at whatever mental image accompanied her words. "Then you two are staging some sort of OK-corral hold-up. What was that all about?"

"It wasn't a hold-up," I flushed. "I was feeling… threatened, and Edward understood."

"I gathered that," she replied dryly.

"Look, I was disoriented, confused; I had a bad past experience once with both an ambulance and being tied down. My residual panic, or whatever the fuck, was keeping me from seeing things rationally. Edward stepped in, helped restore the balance. My version of reassurance entails me being free and with a weapon. Your brother got both of those things for me."

"Okay, that's gotta be some street-past experience that I don't understand. You do, Edward does, I've seen the 'instant action' looks you guys share." She gestured with her hands, trying to explain. "You know what I'm talking about. Where you guys have an entire conversation without any verbal plan? Then Edward and whomever execute the plan, which I didn't hear, and hope for the best from there on out. I've seen it before, in New York…"

"I understand what you're saying," I reassured her. "Do you want to... talk about New York?"

Alice closed in on herself for a minute. Whatever had happened in the city hadn't been pleasant. "Danger and survival, Edward lived through it with me. You apparently had a version of your own. Unlike Edward, who protected me, I never had to learn those things. I do know that the knife he gave you has sentimental value for him." She paused and studied me for a moment. "You really don't see it, do you?"

"See what?" Survival? What the fuck had gone down in New York?

"Give me a minute," Alice looked thoughtful. "What happened after I fell asleep, the night we all drank together? I walked in the next morning and Edward was nearly strangling he laughed so hard."

"Was he? I don't know. We talked a lot that night. I was supposed to show him my tattoos, but we never got around to it. …Shit." I knew what this feeling was. When the fuck-

"Yeah. I'm driving you home," Alice looked from the cigarette to me. "I didn't think you realized it. During your rant, you lit one of those. You started talking about your past so I didn't feel the need to tell you, especially since Edward drove me here today. I can easily bring you home."

"Cool," I shrugged. I was feeling way too good to argue the arrangements. Fuck it. Talking _was_ helpful. I kind-of wanted to give Alice a hug. Fuck that, too. Why not? I gave her a damn hug, which she responded to enthusiastically.

"He kissed you, you said?"

"Wait! I know why he was laughing. He had apologized for not fuck-, er, sleeping with me."

Alice let out one of the loudest snorts I'd ever heard. "No way."

I stared at her wondering how such a loud, unladylike sound could come from someone so small and… pixie-like. "Yeah," I hesitated wondering if I'd offended her. "He kissed me, sort-of. I might have taunted him into it before we went to sleep. I know he wanted me, you know how you can tell…"

Jesus christ. It had been an accident! I was talking to Alice about Edward's being hard while we slept. What the fuck was wrong with me? Had I really lit a cigarette without being aware of it?

"Bella, breathe," she switched the heat over to air-conditioning. "You're so _red_. Breathe."

"I'm so, so sorry. That was incredibly out of line."

"Please," she scoffed. "Watching the two of you give each other the 'sex' look all night wasn't a big deal. What you just said is nothing."

"We didn't-"

"Yeah," she interrupted, "you did."

"Sorry for that, too, I guess…"

"Don't be," she replied cheerfully. "I like where this is going. You're both too stubborn for your own good, though. That makes everything more difficult. Be glad you have me here, who can put this in perspective for you, and kick your butt if necessary to make you see it my way. He apologized for not jumping you?"

"Um, yes?"

"You really don't…" she sighed heavily. "Fine. Remember you said he made you cigarettes? Is that slang for something? How do you _make_ cigarettes?"

"It's not slang, exactly," I help up what I was smoking. "There's some way of adding pot to regular tobacco. Some people buy empty cigarette filters in order to make their own. I'm not sure on the actual process, I don't know how to do it. Edward does, he made me almost an entire pack of them."

"Mmhmm…" Alice tapped her nails on the window.

I switched the air-conditioning back to heat, it was cold as fuck and Alice didn't have another jacket.

"What were you guys fighting about before?"

"Way too long of an explanation," I bypassed. "The conclusion reached is:I know he wants to fuck me, but he won't for some reason. He doesn't hate me, but he doesn't want to be friends. I asked him what that meant. He didn't seem to know. The only important question- what do you want? No answer. He said he likes me as though it were some sort of surprise, but he still didn't have an answer to 'What do you _want_ from me?"

"Do you have one?"

"No," I emphasized. "That's the point of this whole conversation. I have no fucking _clue_."

"Edward likes you, Bella."

I stared at her. What the fuck?

"I know," I flicked my cigarette out the window. "I like him, too. That's why I wanted to ensure our friendship, which he wants no part of."

Alice took my face into her hands. "Edward _likes_ you. Not as a friend, not to _be_ a friend. He likes you as a _guy_ _likes_ _a_ _girl_."

"Oh," I chewed on my lip thinking about it. That could have been what he meant, why he was so adamant I was missing something. "Why the fuck didn't he just say so?"

"He did," Alice laughed.

"No, he didn-" Yes, yes he really had. He hadn't emphasized it like Alice. No wonder I'd overlooked it! "But that's bullshit! He doesn't have girlfriends, both you _and_ he have told me that. I don't do the whole boyfriend thing, either. Nope, not for me. Nothing against people who can, it's just… no, thank you."

"You're right. Edward doesn't choose to have girlfriends, either. Which is why this is so complicated. You obviously have something against commitment. Edward has bad experiences with it… usually that'd be failure in the making."

"But we won't be dating, therefore its not a problem."

"Yeh okie," she scoffed.

"We won't, Alice. We were both really clear on that fact."

Speak of the- Edward walked to his car. His confident, long-legged stride, a leather cuff on his wrist. Arrogant, cocky bastard; he didn't seem to have a care in the world. No, wait. He was pissed about something, his back was too straight, his movements aggressive. I felt a little better.

Who the fuck-

"Tanya," Alice hissed. "She's so _cheap_."

I wasn't inclined to disagree. Her long blonde hair was pulled into some sort-of pony-tail, poof, coiffed thing. Unlike Jasper in his country jeans, boots, and hat- Tanya looked just like one of Alice's friends. A short skirt, strappy shoes, legs and plenty of cleavage on display. Wait, that sounded like me. No, I disagreed with myself, I didn't look cheap or easy like that. Did I? I'd have to ask Alice one day.

They talked, Edward curtly nodded his head, opened his door. Tanya scurried into the other side nearly fucking tripping over herself in excitement. She touched his face. I waited. He didn't move her hand away.

"You were saying, Alice?"

I saw him start his car. There was still time, it could all be a misunderstanding. She put her hand on his thigh. Bitch! I wanted to tear her throat open!

Come on, Edward, snap at her, move away! Do your fucking angry-frown thing!

He smiled and pulled out of the parking space.

What-the-motherfucking-? Had it really happened? Fucking pot, I couldn't really tell. Weed didn't cause hallucinations… unless it were laced with something?

I snapped myself back into reality. It was true. Edward had admitted he wasn't boyfriend material. I wouldn't make the best girlfriend, but at least I'd have the decency to wait until he wasn't present to take someone else home. _He can't see you, remember? _Well, fine. Whatever. I didn't fucking care.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Alice," I smiled brightly at her look of concern.

"Uh… hey?"

"You wanted to drive?" I opened the door, left it ajar.

She started the truck, turned the music up. We drove in silence for about a mile.

"It's alright. Really." She just looked so agitated, I couldn't avoid the topic anymore.

"He's not going to do anything with her," she sighed.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "They looked pretty damn close to me."

"He won't," she replied fiercely.

"Thanks, Alice." I put my arm around her shoulders. "I'm sure you're right."

I was not a coward. I had been right. Good, it saved me from having to eat my words. I had actually contemplated apologizing to Edward for the misunderstanding. Ha! Fuck that shit. He might be one of the most physically attractive guys in Forks, but he was by no means the only one. I'd just have to search a little harder. Not a problem. I still had outfits that I could use to knock a guy on his ass.

I had dropped Alice off at her home. I was straight to drive, it wasn't a problem. Anger and shock had helped shorten my high-time. No, Edward's car hadn't been in the driveway. Currently curled up in bed, working on homework- the floor was vibrating. What the hell? I turned the music down; sharp, forceful knocks sounded in the sudden quiet. I heard my name… I knew that voice. Why was Edward here? What could he possibly want now?

"Answer the damn door' my phone read. The fucking nerve… taking the stairs two at a time, I was turning the handle before I realized it.

"You're paying for the damages if you-"

He pushed me backwards, his hand cushioning my head against the door. Edward buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply.

"Fucking finally," I heard him say.

"What-"

His mouth covered mine. He bit at my lower lip as his hips moved against mine. I forgot why I was angry. I didn't care that we were making-out in my doorway. The back of his lip piercings were rough against my tongue. I licked across the ring and tasted cherry.

"Son of a bitch!" I swore, pushing at his chest.

"Unbelievable," he muttered, glaring at me.

"How _dare_ you?" I could barely speak through the anger that had taken over. "She didn't put out? You want seconds and she wasn't game?"

"Seconds?" He had the fucking audacity to _laugh at me_.

"Get the fuck _out_." I couldn't even close the fucking door with him standing in front of it.

"I didn't do anything with her." He added his arm to the mix, I really didn't stand a chance. That's why I hadn't attempted to actually close the door. It would be a waste of time and I'd end up looking the fool. Fuck that.

"Bullshit," I wiped my mouth. "You use lip-gloss?"

"Bella-"

"You didn't have to prove anything." I remembered his words from earlier. "I don't give a fuck what you do, or who you do it with. But if she's not good enough for you, don't fucking come here." He even smelled like her now that I was paying attention. A sickly floral scent was following him, a cloud of cheap slut was invading my fresh fucking air.

"I came here," he growled, "because you're in my fucking head. I fell asleep with damn papaya and vanilla around me. I woke with mango on my tongue. Tanya, the chick, was fully prepared to fuck me sideways. Why didn't it happen?" Edward glowered me. "Because of _you_."

"Don't blame your erectile dysfunction on me," I pushed him again. He didn't budge.

"My what?"

I laughed at his look of disgust, horror, and denial. Yeah, that had been shitty. I wasn't in the best of moods.

"Did you not hear anything I fucking said?"

"I heard you just fine," I crossed my arms. "So I left an impression? Big… mother-fucking…deal. The next new girl that gets to town, you gonna try to fuck her, too? Do you think she'll be more up to standard?"

"I thought you didn't care!"

"You're right," I refused to acknowledge the sharp pain that shot into my stomach. "I really, really don't."

Problem? I did. Why, however, was the more operable question. We had been straight with one another, he hadn't led me on or vice-versa. Never once had I heard a 'happily ever after' from him when we smoked together. In fact, it sounded like his past was a lot more fucked up than mine had been. All of those things equaled me being stupid again. Getting too close, forming strangely strong attachments, letting attraction blur with trust- I was an idiot. Maybe he had a thing for New Girls.

"I didn't- Damnit, Bella-" he grabbed my arm without exerting any pressure. Electricity still ran across my skin, but it was light, like wind. The sparks were fading; fuck me, I actually missed them.

"Get off me," I stared into his eyes without flinching. He studied my face for a second. The electricity was gone. I felt cold without it. That's why I had wanted him to move his hand, I knew this would happen.

"Fine," he took a step back. "I won't bother you again. No problem."

Watching him walk away, tense anger in every step, I couldn't help it. What if he were telling the truth? It never hurt to ask. Plenty of poems and novels had been penned due to misunderstandings.

"What did you mean when you said 'unbelievable?'" That hadn't been the question I wanted to ask. It was still operable, but definitely not what I really wanted to know.

He faced me slowly. One hand was in his pocket, two fingers twined in his belt-loop. He ran his other hand through his hair impatiently. Dark ink contrasted sharply with his light skin. The sun was hitting him perfectly.

"The truth then," he squared his shoulders and regarded me seriously. "I said 'unbelievable' because two minutes with you was better than the entire hour I spent driving her home, dropping her at the door, and coming here. I said it _because_ I came straight here. I said it because I knew your father wouldn't be home yet and I planned on kissing the fuck out of you. Tanya fucking pervaded my car. The only thing I could think of was… mango and you. I wanted to know you smelled as good as I remembered. You do, and you taste even fucking better."

"Oh," I replied, stunned. Then I closed the door.

Shit! Fuck! I stared at it in horror. What had I done?

It was too late, I wouldn't allow myself to go running after him.

A door slammed furiously. I wouldn't.

His car started.

Her hand had been on his thigh. She had touched him as though they'd agreed to hook up. _But he didn't touch her... _ at least not that I had been able to see. ... It took nearly forty minutes to get from school, to his house, to mine. … he really hadn't done anything with her.

I heard him drive away.

Time was passing too slowly. I thumbed through my book without absorbing anything. I checked my email, wrote a half-assed message to Renee because I couldn't concentrate for more than a few minutes.

_'… leather studded kiss in the scene.'_

Oh my. What? Had I heard that correctly?

I had been such an idiot. He'd left, what's-her-name. Tanya. That's what he had said. The opportunity of sex had presented itself. He hadn't taken it. Instead, he came here. Everything I'd ever wanted to hear, Edward had said. What did I do? I shut the door in his face. Moron! And then I hadn't gone after him!

_'You know that I want you and you know that I need you…'_

Damn song. What the hell was I listening to? Lady Gaga, the screen told me. Oh, so this was her? I heard the name everywhere, but I'd never actually listened to her music. It wasn't bad; she had some kick-ass outfits.

_'I want your love or your lover's revenge; you and me could write a bad romance.'_

Fuck it, fine.

_ Ring, ring, ring…_ he wasn't going to pick up. At least he had texted me, I didn't have to call Alice or their house phone. It had been on a post-it in the kitchen, I figured the knowledge would be useful at some point. Stalker, me? No. _Ring… ring…_ should I leave a message? No, I didn't want to talk to his automate d voice messaging system. I needed to talk to him, personally.

"Yea?"

"Er, hi!" I think I recovered nicely, I had been prepared for the voice-mail prompt.

A long, awkward silence transpired.

_ I said it because I knew your father wouldn't be home yet and I planned on kissing the fuck out of you. _

Say something, you fucked this up!

"Feel like smoking?"

_ 'I wanted to know you smelled as good as I remembered. You do, and you taste even fucking better.' _Please, please say something. I gripped the phone with one hand and dug my nails into the comforter with the other.

"Sure," he said. "You know where to find me. Door's unlocked."

The call ended. Well, I deserved that, I guess. Time to make amends.

I arrived at his house exactly twenty-five minutes later. My pride had wanted to make him wait. It argued in favor of time; how desperate would I seem? My rational side won. I had made the mistake, justified nevertheless, I needed to make the next move. Pride be damned, I wasn't prepared to lose his friendship, and more, in favor of miscommunication.

The door wasn't locked, I let myself in. Everything was so quiet, it was eerie. All was in its proper place, but it seemed different now that I was here alone. The door to his room was closed, too. Should I knock? No, that would be asking for another awkward moment. He had just lit up as I entered. I replaced the towel he had wedged against the base of the door. Closing it behind me, I tentatively sat on his bed.

"I didn't mean to-"

"I-" he interrupted me, taking a deep breath. "I was being an asshole. I… deserved that shit." I was, again, at a loss for words. "You have a free shot at me sometime in the future. I owe you that. Want to get me in the jaw?"

"I thought about it," I smiled as he gave his crooked-wicked grin. "But really, I didn't mean to slam the door on you. I don't know why it happened."

"Its alright," he passed me the blunt. "Don't even fucking worry about it. The door thing happened same as my drive to your house. Unexpected, really not fucking planned, but… it happened. We move on?"

I took two hits careful to choose my words. Before I gave it back to him, I leaned over and licked his bottom lip. Pot and mint; I hadn't expected that, either. His hair was wet, I noticed, part of his shirt was damp because of it. Had he showered? Was the minty flavor from toothpaste?

"That perfume," he exhaled, "won't ever go the fuck away. I can still smell it."

"Why did you kiss her?" So much for it being in the past. "I believe that nothing happened. Just for curiosity's sake, why did you taste like her?"

He actually grimaced, "I'm really fucking… uh, sorry about that. I wasn't thinking, I should've known…"

"Edward, its… alright. I just wanted to know…" It still twinged, but this was something I could get over.

"She, uh, kissed me as she got out of the car. Tongue and all, she wanted to make one last ditch effort, I guess."

"Okay." I smiled at him and planned Tanya's demise. If I got the opportunity, I'd be taking her down.

Edward had admitted to not feeling physical attraction for her despite her obvious good looks. I could own up to that fact. She was decent, average, but it wasn't a competition. I refused to get into a bitch fight with her. I had won, presumably, anyway. All of that notwithstanding, Edward had come out and expressed things, I needed to do the same.

"What cologne do you use?" Huh? Wait… all of my careful preparation went ass first out of the window.

"I don't use cologne," he raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"No reason," I rolled my eyes. Sure, right. He'd be able to see through that excuse without a problem.

"I'm not sure about what its called. Its made by Axe, the canister's blue."

"Cool," I took two more drags; confidence, any minute. Ahh, there it was. Give it a minute and I'd have a cigarette. Best discovery and invention ever. The eased my way through most social situations. Become bored by the people around me? Step outside. Lack of conversation? Light one, give silence a reason.

"What perfume do you wear?"

"Body spray." I mentally groaned. Now wasn't the time to be a girl. Perfume, body spray; what was the fucking difference? "I don't remember the name, either. It was a present," I clarified. "Rosalie again."

"Thank her for me."

I blushed. Bastard. "About what you said before…"

"Forget it," he said gently. "It was a heat of the moment thing, I don't even really remember what I said."

"I do," I had to look away. "And, if its not too late, I liked it… and I like you, too. So, uh, shut the fuck up and calm down?"

"Eloquent," he snorted. "That's me."

Yeah, it hadn't been the most romantic things of to say. I didn't need romance, I liked his passion and intensity. "So, um, while we're hanging out… we're not hanging out with anyone else, so to speak?"

"Uh…" he paused for a long time. It made me laugh. Apprehensions, Edward? No way.

"It doesn't matter," I reinforced. "Again, curiosity.

"Whatever you want," he said at last. "I'm cool with whatever you choose."

"I don't mind, you know, not hanging with anyone other than you. You keep me plenty occupied."

"Same here," he lit me a cigarette. "And if we get bored with one another, we do it your way. We stay friends, um, and just… do our own thing."

"Yeah," I agreed. The tension lifted immediately, I definitely liked the backup plan. It was an escape route, we both knew it, but at the moment it was necessary. I might not like the idea of sharing, however, commitment, true commitment was a long time in happening.

"Okay."

"So what d'you want to do now?"

Lying here and listening to music was fun, but I needed something more to focus on. I kept replaying the memory of him standing two feet away from me in a towel. Considering how I'd dealt with that recollection this morning, I had no privacy now. Smoking with him was becoming dangerous. I hadn't had sex in a long time. Fun as my toys were, I had a fuck-hot guy interested in me, and getting into my pants. If he didn't make a move soon, with all of his teasing, I was going to do something rash.

I didn't feel that now was the time. We had fought, in a huge way, and then we'd made up. Now, it seems we've taken another step toward the 'real relationship' route. It was a huge thing for both of us, the tension may have lifted, but a slightly awkward edge remained.

"What do you feel like doing?" Oh no, I mentally groaned. Not this again.

"Music videos?" Music videos, I heard my voice say. That's the best we could come up with? Why not? I had found Lady Gaga accidentally by clicking on a random link.

"Yeah, alright," he said. "C'mon."

"We're moving?"

"Yeah, I'm downloading something. Internet speed is going to suck. We have OnDemand, an entire music videos section waiting for ya."

"What about smoking?"

"We can come back in here whenever we want," he helped me stand as I groaned. I had been so comfortable, though.

Oh. Much better. We had opted to pile pillows on the floor to be closer to the screen. Their living room television was larger than Edward's. We could have reclined on the couch, but I had a feeling it would be too… close for him. I knew I appreciated the space and informality of the floor.

"That one!" I pointed to the screen.

"Really?"

I shrugged. "I was never a fan of thing song until I saw the video."

"It's that good?" I heard the doubt in his voice. Truth be told, I didn't really like any of their other songs. We watched in silence as it started playing. Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. "Its alright, I guess."

"Shh," I interrupted. I felt his stare. He wasn't glaring. Why, he almost looked amused again. I had seen him amused before, but this was all because of me. Progress? "There! My god, that's so hot."

"You have a thing for guy on guy action," he stated after a few moments.

"No," I rolled my eyes at him. "I don't know why I like it so much… its just… cool."

Maybe it was just me. The song alone didn't do much for me unless I thought of the images that went along with it. The way the main guy moved… I heard myself moan as he thrashed on the stone slab.

"Really? That's all it-" Edward stripped his shirt off and lowered himself fully on the ground. I couldn't look away. He raised his arms above his head, hands intersecting at his wrists. His stomach tightened as he created tension in his upper body. Oh. My. God.

"This?" He closed his eyes and the mask dropped. I ceased to exist. My body went into over-drive. His eyes- fire burned. His expression was one of true need. He inhaled slowly, his gaze so dark, and he growled low in his chest. Kings of Leon had nothing on Edward Cullen. Dark ink, toned muscles, he was primal, holding nothing back. I looked down his body- oh _fuck. _He really, really wanted… me.

"Yea," I heard myself say. "That's- that's, uh, good."

I was moving closer to him. I felt the heat of his skin scorch me. Flame and electricity- the current was back and stronger than ever. He watched my every move. I was leaning over him; drowning, dying.

"Bella," he groaned.

"I-"

"Do it," he snarled.

He hadn't moved. Edward wasn't teasing anymore. This was my opportunity. Fight or flight? It was an illusion, I knew he still held the power. He was temporarily offering it to me, giving me the chance to make up my mind. If I gave in, we were really doing this. No stopping this time. We would be… together.

His wrists slammed onto the ground. His self-control was legendary. He was waiting for me. Decide, I yelled at myself. Stop tormenting yourself, him. Pick! He understood. I saw the promise of screaming gratification in his expression. I straddled his hips, lowered my face to his. He shifted a little, I almost believed he were tied down. I didn't want that.

"Edward," I didn't know what I wanted from him. He remained still, his body vibrated against mine with anticipation.

I took a deep breath and allowed our lips to meet. His hand twined in my hair, the other was at my hip pressing him further against me. His piercings brushed at my lips, stinging slightly. I loved it. The stud on his tongue was warm and smooth. I moaned thinking of how it'd feel on other parts of my body.

The world spun, his arm was under my head. Even now, he was considerate. His every move, no matter how emotional, Edward always made sure to keep my safety in mind. He twisted his hips against me roughly. Well, almost. I really didn't fucking mind. I wrapped my legs around his waist hoping he'd do it again. He did. And then he did it again. Fuck yes. More, I wanted more. I felt his mouth on my neck. He nipped once and my back arched. I dug my nails into his back and felt him shudder.

"You liked that, huh?"

He slid against the front of my jeans; long, slow, sure. The friction was incredible. I wrapped my fingers around his arms. So much strength. His lips were curled in satisfaction, eyes darker. I raised my hips in time to his down stroke. His eyes rolled back slightly, jaw clenching. Fucking hell, another few seconds and I'd explode. Edward bit down again, harder, but he let go almost immediately. I couldn't help raking my nails across his flesh.

"That too?" He licked across my collarbone toward where my neck and shoulder met. Growling lightly, I secured my ankles more firmly at his back. "Do you?"

"Yes," I panted. "_Fuck_ yes."

He chuckled, vibration skittered up my skin. Fuck, fuck. I hadn't ever felt this good. I needed to get closer, why hadn't I worn a fucking skirt? He licked his lips, hunger evident in his eyes. When he undid the button at my pants I realized his intent.

"No, not that, not yet." I pulled him back up so he was hard against me again. "Shit!"

He motherfucking bit down. Hard. Pain ran down my spine, my world turned white. I might have yelled. He had to let go, fuck, he really needed to let go. Too much, not enough.

"Edward," I thrashed under him. He gnawed instead of holding my skin still under his teeth. My mind bent, was close to snapping; my body wanted to orgasm, but- "fuck, Edward, please!"

Finally! Pleasurable pain flooded me. The searing, jagged intensity faded to something I could handle. He was rubbing against the seam of my jeans. _Fuck pants_. I needed him, nothing between us. He sucked at the bruised area on my neck. I might have moaned, it sounded loud in my head. I was right at the edge. Why couldn't I go over?

"Please-!" Lowering my legs to the ground hadn't worked. I bent my knees and forced my hips hard against his. When would this unbearable, white-hot pressure end? He slid a hand between us, his nails scraping over denim. Pressing, circling; I needed three more seconds.

"I want you… inside-" I pleaded. This was fucking fantastic, but it wasn't enough.

"Bella-" his voice was strangled. My hips slammed into the floor, he hit the perfect fucking place.

"I'm-" I didn't have time to finish the sentence. Flying, burning; I was flung over the edge. Searching for a safe haven, I clung to him. The orgasm continued, days of repression, denial, and frustration releasing in waves of agonizing pleasure. I didn't care about anything. Nothing mattered except this implosion of energy and ecstasy.

Edward had stilled, I forced myself to stop grinding against him. He looked pained, his body shook, his eyes were clenched tightly together. Jaw tight, his hands were rough against me.

"You didn't…"

He collapsed on his back again. "No."

"Why? I-"

"I'll be alright." He gripped my waist and forced me closer to him. The action caused a shiver, which made me cry out in residual pleasure. I tried to stifle the sound by burying my face against his chest. "I'm not fucking you on the floor like some animal," he grimaced. "We could make it to the stairs, at least."

"We could have moved…"

"It didn't occur to me until, well, you were enjoying yourself. I was too, don't worry."

"Then, um-"

"No," he laughed, painfully. "I want you. In my bed, for hours. We don't, unfortunately, have that kind of time."

I started undoing his belt. If we didn't have time for a full sex session, I could at least make him feel better.

"Don't do that," he put his hand over both of mine. I felt his cock twitch at the pressure, it sent another wave of throbbing warmth through me.

"Edward, really? I wouldn't mind. I'd like doing it, you know, for you," I finished disjointedly. I hadn't meant for it to sound so corny. My point was that I didn't mind giving blow-jobs, I'd probably enjoy it more with Edward because I wanted to see him orgasm because of me. My breath caught at the image, bringing him over the edge as he had done for me.

"Fuck," his body jolted. "Don't _say_ shit like that."

Oops. I hadn't meant to exacerbate the situation. It was probably best not to share my continued through-train with him. I was truly at a loss for what to do. This hadn't ever happened to me. Trying to push me for more than I wanted to give, trying to take advantage when they thought I was compliant enough, yes. Dealing with someone in pain because they'd foregone their pleasure for mine? Never.

"They'll be home any fucking minute, I stopped watching the time. I don't want them to accidentally see… fucking hell… I wouldn't want them to, let them… not that way."

I think I fell for him a little more. He didn't want his parents to hear us, or see us, having sex of any kind. Not because they'd be disgusted or because it would be awkward, but because he didn't want them to have a bad opinion of me.

"Want me to do anything? I can't leave you… like this."

"Yeah," he staggered to his feet. Wincing, he threw himself down on the couch. "Lay in front of me, I cant get up again. When they come in, pretend to be asleep. They'll probably leave us alone for awhile."

"And then?"

"I take care of the problem," he growled.

Oh, I blushed again. It made sense to me, though I really wanted to be the one to help him. I sat between his legs, one was resting on the ground, the other he had against the cushions.

"Bella, fuck- I knew this was a bad idea- stop moving so damn much."

I bit my lip to stifle a moan. It was wrong to be excited by this, especially since he'd ensured my orgasm. I forced myself to relax with my head on his chest. The temptation to trace some of his tattoo's was present, but I didn't want to make things worse for him.

Music played, halfway through the second song I felt his tension slowly start to ease. It took everything within me not to shift against him. He was fairly pulsing, and right where I still wanted him.

"You believe me?"

"About what?"

"Tanya," he said her name like a curse.

"Yeah," I brought his arm up and around me, he'd had it trailing on the ground. That couldn't have been very comfortable for him. "I believed you before I came here. Do you believe me? About slamming the door on you, I mean."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Before you fucking got here."

"So everything's resolved, I guess, right? We're only seeing each other, no friendly fucks anywhere else until one of us gets bored. Its good, convenient, easy. Fun."

"Simple," he added. "Damn logical."

"Oh no," I giggled quietly. "Tanya didn't put out and you didn't get your… happy… with me."

"I'm still fucking… happy," he laughed at my terminology.

I turned my head toward him. For all of his hard muscle, and the problem, I was really quite comfortable.

"She fucked with the inside of my car. The smell, she was messing with shit. It was annoying."

"Not Edward Cullen's car!"

"You know what I'm saying."

"Yeah," I said, sobering. "I think I do." I had been in his car earlier messing with shit, as he put it. I had even put my shoes on his dashboard, which, I judged by his death stare, was forbidden under normal circumstances.

Were we really doing this? What did it mean? Now wasn't the time to ask. Things were too new. We could coat things with a safety clause, but it was a sham. I could feel it in my stomach, change was imminent. The only question would be- which of us would cut and run first?

I heard the front door open. Without really thinking about it, I closed my eyes and let myself go pliant. He swore quietly. Wrapping one arm over my neck, his fingers rested on my collarbone. It was nice being held by him, I decided. Whether this was for the illusion or because he liked it, too, I felt good. Safe.

"Your mark," I whispered. He brought his elbow in a little so that the hickey, I knew it'd be dark, was covered.

"Edward? Alice?"

Edward wrapped his arm tighter around me as he caught his parents attention. I could feel him smile. "She fell asleep twenty minutes ago."

I opened my eyes to slits and saw them share a happy look before they crept past us. Looks like that usually made me feel uncomfortable. Strange how that had made me… excited. They approved; not that there was anything to approve of. Still, it was nice to know.

"Bella?" I curled into him and kept my eyes closed, my body soft. Moving was the farthest thing on my mind. He tensed for a second. I thought he was going to 'wake me up.' Instead, he shifted slightly so his body was turned toward the back of the couch. Bringing his knee up a little, I was cushioned firmly against his leg and the left side of his body. Any defenses I had left shattered. He held me, safe, so I wouldn't fall off the sofa.

"Ok then," he said to no one. I listened to his heartbeat. It was steady and strong, I felt myself relax even further. Why did this feel so right?

**Authors Note: **  
That was one hell of a chapter to write. I had no fucking clue where it was going; people kept popping up all over the place. I was thinking like Alice, listening to country music- bam, Jasper shows up. Okkay… then two seconds later Tanya, of all fucking people, decides to make an appearance. At least the chapter ended well and I was able to use one of my 'side scenes.' No idea where its going from here so it might be a few days until I update. Should be soon, though.

**Authors Note 2:  
Tahughes-**  
No sex with Tanya, haha. I couldn't do that to him or his car. And I agree with your last comment, I havent written it yet, but I hope people will consider it good enough. =P  
**Panda-girl19**-  
Hahaha, wow. You made me laugh, thanks for the review!  
**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**I love Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, too. I have to read the rest of it, I got side-tracked by Phantasms and then the start of this story, but I'm trying to keep the characters different. Edward has piercings based off a person I know in life- and further motivation therein, haha. Some of the tattoo's, as well. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and continue to read!


	13. The Good Life

**Chapter 13  
- The Good Life  
**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
Almost all of my 'extra scenes' have been used, which is kind-of scary… the scenes are always incorporated into their stories- When I'm lagging, I pick one of them and make it work. Now that there's only two left… nail-biting time, haha.

**Playlist**  
**Feel So Numb**- Rob Zombie  
**One More Chance**- Saliva  
**The Good Life**- Three Days Grace  
**Survival of the Sickest**- Saliva  
**Breaking the Habit**- Linkin Park

**Edward's Point of View**

After one short, mostly satisfying, two-time shower, I was feeling really relaxed. Knowing that Bella was in my room and that she didn't have to be back until midnight made me feel fucking ecstatic. Having Carlisle and Esme home, nice as it was, meant that anything involving Bella and sex was out of the question. It was one of my reasons I never allowed them to stay. Neither Carlisle nor Esme needed to wake up to new people in their house. It was a home not a fucking motel. Not to mention, Esme welcomed everyone. They didn't need the expense of feeding another person because I'd wanted to get laid.

With Bella, even I could admit that the situation was different. I'd slept with a few of Alice's friends, on the condition that she not find out, if she didn't know already. To give myself a little credit, I slept with them before Alice became friends with them, and tried to stay away from them after the fact. Unlike them, I liked to hear Bella voice her opinions. I was amused, more often than not, when she broke out one of her obscure references. Seeing her in my bed, in my car; none of it bothered me. I was on dangerous ground and... I couldn't bring myself to care.

What I needed to do was man up, get fucking dressed, and get out of the bathroom. I was wasting time. I quickly threw on an old t-shirt and a pair of baggy shorts. I left the towel over my shoulders so I wouldn't drip water all over her. I needed to cut my hair soon. It was becoming less attractive, more caveman.

I tried not to think of what had happened in the living room. She had felt fucking fantastic. Bella did, in fact, bite her lip as she came, and- I really needed to focus on something else. I'd go over every detail again later, much fucking later, when I was alone.

Was she my girlfriend now? Was that something one had to clarify? Would anything change, because I sure as fuck was happy with the way things were going. Was she? I rolled my eyes toward the ceiling. Yes, it fucking mattered. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole boyfriend status. I'd had two. Neither of those relationships had ended well. Was that something I should tell her about?

_What the fuck, man. Be cool, be chill, be your goddamn self. She's already seen you at your worst; you nearly fucked another chick, glared at her, ignored her, kissed her twice without consent- _Yeah, I get the point, thanks.

The thing that was really shocking me- despite what my body argued- I didn't really want to fuck Bella. That was a lie. I did, but not the way- She had repeated something in our arguments that bothered me. I didn't see her as just another- no, better to say this in-person.

"I don't see you as another notch on my bedpost," I closed the bathroom door behind me. "I was thinking about… everything, you know, in the shower. It's out of the blue, I know, I just wanted to make sure you... you know, that you were aware."

"Um… so good shower then," she blinked at me owlishly.

"My reaction to you aside, which I know you fucking felt... I respect you. I even fucking trust you for the most part, which I know is asinine, and I don't expect to hear you say it back. Don't even worry about it. You're intelligent, street-smart, sexy as fuck; I don't want you to put me in the 'fuck and leave' category."

That had been a little more than I meant to say. Whatfuckingever. People like Bella were one in a million. I wasn't about to let my loner tendencies and 'recklessly impulsive behavior' scare her away. Fight for what you want, right? I wanted Bella, and if that meant that I needed to do a little soul-sharing, fuck it. That's what I'd do.

"Edward?" I forced myself to stop. Nearly pacing, I knew I looked angry again. Damn. Time to slow down, I faced her and remained quiet. "Where the fuck did that all come from?"

"Uh…"

"I mean, thank you… but yea, it kinda came out of nowhere."

That was a good question. When had the switch flipped? I knew when. On her porch, after kissing her- I felt really motherfucking bad about the kiss. If I had known I'd taste like fucking _Tanya_, I wouldn't have touched her. How many times had my mother kissed me goodnight tasting of liquor, smelling like other men. She never touched alcohol, I realized that too late.

The fury in Bella's eyes, the absolute rage I saw as she pushed me away. My stomach had felt hollow as we stood face-to-face. It was at that moment I realized what I would be losing should she not believe me. I had given Tanya a ride home, with the expectation of sex, but I hadn't taken the opportunity. It had been a huge step for me. I didn't expect Bella to agree, because any normal person wouldn't have had a problem. Most guys had no problem keeping their cock in check. It was time to start giving a fuck.

Really; who else rivaled the chick sitting in front of me? Bella was worth it. If that meant I'd become a considerate, almost-boyfriend… I forced my apprehension to the side. Why not? Everything was worth trying once. The only things preventing us from moving forward were, of course, what every girl wanted to know. 'Who are you', 'what are you interested in', 'what happened to you.' All the questions that I had avoided answering over the years, Bella needed to know. At least she was down-to-earth about it, she didn't push too hard and she understood the meaning behind hesitation.

Hesitation meant that a person didn't really want to talk about whatever subject had been broached. Bella didn't use sex as power. Well, she did, I did. Everyone did, now that I thought about it. No, we might engage in our own war, of sorts, but there hadn't been much below-the-belt hitting so long as I discredited our argument in my car. She knew when to fucking stop, as did I. This could work.

"I don't know. In the shower I replayed what happened this afternoon. We cleared everything up, for the most part, but I didn't see a resolution for how you felt regarding-"

"Edward," she stopped me again. "I'm pretty high so if you could drop your vocabulary down about three notches, that'd be great."

Well, shit. Okay, I could do that. "Puff and pass, babe," I held out my hand. This solved everything.

She blushed and she handed me the blunt. What for now? I hadn't intended to come on to her… Running my hand through my hair, I remembered a time where silence worked in every situation. Bella had made a point of saying my silence bugged her. So now I was expressing myself and… I needed to talk with Alice more. I was clearly out of the 'socially acceptable' range. I took three deep hits. One more for good measure, I had some catching up to do.

"You're gonna be on your ass in a minute," Bella laughed. "This shit's even stronger than the last."

I had to close my eyes as the room spun. There was something important I had wanted to tell her. No, I had started to tell her, reassure her, but she had interrupted me. "What the fuck were we talking about?"

"You don't remember?"

"I know the main gist, but to save you from having to hear it from the beginning-"

"A resolution," she grabbed my arm. I laughed, Bella was a grabber. It was true, whenever she remembered something or saw something exciting she'd reach out to get the person's attention. I didn't jerk away from her or instinctively recoil as I usually did. My subconscious had trusted her from the beginning.

What resolution? "For?"

"Damnit." She laid over me with her cheek on my stomach. Looking up hazily, her eyes shiny and content- yup, I hope she didn't look down. "Um… I'll remember this when I'm straight, I swear. You're sexy when you get all serious."

"Thanks," I grinned.

She even complimented wisely. Rather than stroking my ego, which happened anyway, Bella said everything so matter-of-factly. No room for argument. I wasn't sure if she knew the effect she had on people. She hadn't meant anything by it, throwing the statement out there like an irrevocable truth; she was the first to truly make an impact.

My job now was to make sure that I left as great an impression on her. I felt torn, there are so many directions to take. My dark side was screaming, berating me for showing vulnerability. In my world, this never happened. Letting people in gave them leverage. The more she knew, the more difficult things would be should she betray me.

Did I care? At the moment, no. In the future? We weren't there yet. I remembered her eyes; hard, cold, she had withdrawn from me. I saw the door slam, her face pale and angry. Walking to my car, I had wanted to see her wrench the door back open. I had willed her to come running back out, to jump in my car and set things straight. When she didn't, and the house was still, I knew it was over. And then she had called. Brave Bella Swan, she had courage, I'd give her that.

"You were saying that you respect me. There was something else, it was beautiful I'm sure, but I couldn't follow you," she giggled.

"Fine," I sighed, "let's do it this way. We have about two and a half hours. Are you going to crash anytime soon?"

"Probably not," she admitted. "I'm actually kind-of wired from the soda I chugged and from this stuff."

"Alright." I wasn't tired, either. "You want to know more about me, right? I know a lot of things about you, but nothing serious. You agree?"

"Absolutely," her chin dug into my ribs as she nodded emphatically.

"I can't promise I'll answer everything because there's some bad shit that'll take longer than we have to fucking go through... Ask what you want, though."

"Really?" Her gaze flicked to mine. I saw surprise and… hope. Well, shit. That cinched the deal, I was really doing this. I wanted to get out of this room and wander for a while to get my head on straight. If I did that, there'd be no reconciliation. It would be too late. Could I do that to her, me? No. She looked so damn excited. What were a few answers if it meant that she'd trust me? I didn't deserve it, I knew that shit right off. The fact that she was willing to give me a chance- yea, I could admit that it mattered, that I wanted to be that person for her. For once in my life I wasn't running away.

"You'll find out anyway, I suppose." It was inevitable, especially if she and Alice were going to be close friends.

"Cool," she smiled. "What was your child-hood like."

"Well, Jesus, you really fucking know how to start," I couldn't help laughing. Fuck me. "You sure here's where we begin?"

"No," she surprised me. "I get the feeling that I want to be less high for this story. How about- ...Tell me something general."

"I… was a foster kid for eight years of my life." That hadn't been difficult. I knew it should have been. That was one of my 'die before telling' secrets, but around Bella it didn't matter. I didn't care if she knew because nothing would send her running. If it did, she didn't seem the type that would go telling everyone. I comforted myself with those thoughts and tried not to brace myself for the things she was bound to ask.

"A foster kid," she repeated. "What exactly does that entail?"

"People from the state or whatever put you in a new home. You know, because shit didn't work out with where the kid originally was. From there, you either stay if the family likes you or go back into the System if they don't."

"The system?"

"Yeah, like a revolving door. New families come, meet with you, reach an agreement- I move, live with them for awhile before they sent me back. That stopped really fucking fast, though. I, uh, met Alice around that time. I was probably thirteen then."

"Wow," her nails were digging into my chest. It hurt, but I wasn't bothered. Fuck, I was really goddamn talkative tonight. I guess it was a good thing. She would have found out eventually.

"Carlisle and Esme adopted Alice and I four years ago. I was sixteen, Alice was fifteen. Its been great thus far, no problems at all."

"Well, good," Bella rubbed at the nail-marks, she'd noticed. "How many, er, families did you have?"

"Four; I stayed mostly in the group home. It's the place kids are put when there's nowhere else for them to go. Think of a… boarding school, I guess."

That was far from the truth. The places had been more like jails, especially in New York. White walls, crappy food. Fights everyday, everywhere, and over nothing. The kids hurt each other more than any dysfunctional new family could. Protecting Alice had been hell. She was small, easily bruised, and female. It made her an easy target. Fuck that shit. I had let them know, in no uncertain terms, that if she were hurt- I'd inflict triple damage on anyone stupid enough to try.

"You hated it," her voice was low, soothing.

"Yeah," I let out a breath I hadn't been aware of holding. "Yeah, it sucked."

"Tell me about it. Your first home, what was that like?"

"It was alright, for the most part. If I'd been smarter, less… me, I would probably have been able to stay. The couple was normal, nice. They wanted me to call them 'mom' and 'dad.' I… couldn't. Eventually they got tired of it, waited the allotted time, and then I got sent back."

"How old were you then?"

"Eleven."

"What happened that you couldn't say the words? Were your parents… something really bad happened to them, didn't it? Were they not, um, good parents?"

I froze. My blood ran cold. This was one of those questions. She didn't know what she was asking, but I had given her free rein _to_ ask. I could answer this. One step at a time. Give the edited version, remain impersonal. Parents; mother and father, mom and dad, I still had fucking trouble with the words.

"One was sick and died, the other died of natural causes. The latter was my… Masen, his last name was Masen. A drunk, liked to hit those weaker than him. I don't really, uh, like talking about them, if you don't mind."

"No problem," She moved so one leg was over my waist, one arm across my chest. Her head was in the crook of my shoulder and neck. It was pretty fucking comfortable. "What about your second home?"

Good, this one didn't mean anything. It wasn't the nicest of stories, but at least there were no attachments or really bad memories associated with them.

"They used me to beat off their loan sharks. I was a pretty big kid. Solid. Y'know, used to fighting. The people from the System took me out of there two months later."

"How old were you?"

I had to think back; a dingy house with no light, ever. It didn't matter what time of day, the house was always dark and smoke-filled. They made it easy to smoke and smoke up, I remembered that vividly. With all of the shit they did, it was amazing they remembered to get food. Wait, no they hadn't.

How old had I been? "Thirteen, somewhere around there. Age is difficult for me to place. Doesn't matter, you know? Most people don't care. If you're useful, you get to stick around. If not, well..."

"You were always useful."

"They seemed to think so. I had my strong-points and I learned a lot of good fighting skills. It's a give and take thing, no big deal."

"The third?"

"I couldn't stay. It might have worked out, not that it matters now. Alice needed me. I left the state and... they didn't appreciate that. By that time I was old enough to take care of us both. I found places for us to stay, I made money so we could eat. I fucked up once... and I was too young to talk our way out of the situation. The police were called because we were fucking kids and, well, back into the System we went. Together, at least. That's when Carlisle and Esme found us. I didn't have to fight very much after they showed up. We moved to Forks, took a few months before school to settle in, we enrolled… here we are."

"You took care of Alice?"

"No," I lit a cigarette for Bella, one for myself. "I didn't take care of her. Not as well as I could have. She stole mother-fucking food because it was easier for her to lift the shit. Or at least that's what she told me. I went along with it. When I didn't have the money for it, I mean."

The music was good, Bella didn't push too much for answers. I was able to stay impersonal enough so that I wasn't really aware of speaking until I was done. I tried to make sense, but easy as this was, compared to how I normally reacted with these subjects, it still bothered me.

I reached for the blunt. One or two hits would help with that. She wanted answers, I'd promised to give them to her. Now was not the time to freeze up. I passed it to Bella and started speaking before I lost my train of thought.

"I fucking let her go with a family. See, I usually tried to do some searching about the people that wanted to take her. If I found anything that made me worry, I figured we'd run. There was this couple that came in. They seemed really nice. You know, wealthy and normal. I didn't get a creepy feeling from them. Alice seemed fine." I let the anger go and focused on the words themselves. "A few months later, she calls me. They want to pimp her out along with some of the other chicks they'd gotten over the years."

"No fucking way," Bella looked furious. She slammed her fist into the ground and, I swear, she fucking growled. "They wanted to do _what_ to Alice?"

"The family never got the chance," I assured her.

The smell of mango floated up to me as I stroked her hair. It was really fucking soft, shiny. Wavy, I'd never noticed that before. The strands weren't all brown, either. She had shades of red and black, light chestnut, deep mahogany all intertwined. Maybe I'd bring her to the meadow, it would be fucking incredible seeing all of the colors under the sun. _And you'll, what? Read her poetry? Spread a towel on the ground and fucking cuddle? _Maybe not the cuddling part, but as for the rest- why the fuck not? We could do anything we damn pleased so long as we didn't break the law. I glanced over at my canister of pot. Too late?

"Did you kill them?" she asked carefully.

"No." I had really fucking wanted to, though. Murder wasn't something we'd walk away from, not with all of the evidence we had left. Paper trails, my finger-prints all the fuck over the place. Law and Order was a big favorite at the group homes. I learned, at least I assumed I had learned a lot from those shows.

"I got her the fuck out of there. That was the last family before Carlisle and Esme. I kept Alice near me all the time. I fought them when they told me she couldn't sleep in the same room as me because of their gender rules. Not _physically_ fought them, you know what I mean?"

"I think so," she nodded. "Does Alice know all that you did for her?"

"The watered down version. You _can't_ fucking tell her-" That came out way too forcefully, I surprised myself with how sharp my tone had been. "I'd, uh, appreciate you not enlightening her about the rest. She… well, Alice was a strange kid. I don't think she remembers a lot prior to finding me in New York. I've never heard her really talk about it aside from short random memories..."

Fuck. That's exactly what I'd been trying to avoid. Bella didn't need to be sad, or worried, or upset by anything that had happened in my past. It was done with. I had moved on. She looked so… I didn't even know. Sad? Angry? Either way, I didn't like it.

"Alice has always been a little odd, not in a bad way. She… I don't know if you'll believe this, but she's really good at predicting things. Not small stuff like the weather, but- did you notice that she played a lot of country music right before Jasper arrived?"

"Edward, no offense, but I grew up around country music. My radio has three pre-set country stations that I didn't choose for myself."

"You'll see."

"Thank you," she hugged me. It took a second for me to get used to the gesture. I was accustomed to Alice's random touching. Holding hands, latching onto me and pulling me in whatever direction she chose, holding on to me as she bounced all over the place…

"I'll remember this later and curse myself out."

"Probably," Bella bit her lip, "if you do, call me, okay? I know what freak-outs are like and… since you told me already, it won't be weird or anything."

"I'll keep that in mind," I wrapped my arm more closely around her. The moments ticked by. "I can't promise we'll date, but I'll… really fucking try."

That's what she wanted, right? Why she had screamed at me, argued with me, slammed the door on me. Tanya aside, I had to make sure she knew I wasn't going to be fucking other chicks if she were in my bed. I was doing my best to let her in, to give her all of the things she'd brought up today, but it wasn't fucking easy. This was not my area of expertise.

"You know its ill-fated, don't you?" Bella sighed. "People with this much baggage shouldn't date until they have it all figured out."

"We'll figure it out, I guess. We've already taken the first steps, right?"

I wanted to do what someone else wanted for a change. The other two girlfriends had been just as fucked up as I'd been. I hadn't been in any position to help them. They wanted more than I could give, time I didn't have, commitment from me that I wouldn't be able to see through.

Now? Bella and I were both settled. We had good families. I had enough money to last for a good long while. The thought of dating still scared the shit out of me, but I was almost willing to try for her. She looked- I could never fucking tell at times like this. Her face hid too much.

I was royally, absolutely, one-hundred percent fucked, and the worst part? I was happy about it. I'd had a chick literally grinding on my lap, kissing me so hard my teeth hurt… and all I could think of was Isabella Swan.

"Not running?"

"Nope," she smiled distantly, paused. "Have you killed anyone?"

"Not that I know of. You?"

"Same," she sighed. "Does it count if you leave them in bad condition and never hear whether they survived?"

"I don't think so."

If it did, I'd have a lot to account for when I died. Bella, too, it seemed. The questions rose again; where the fuck had she been? Who had she beaten? Why? If they had fucked with her, I was liable to finish the damn job. She was too good, too smart, too fucking pure to know about that shit.

"Why do you ask?" I inquired.

"I've got stuff in my closet, too. When we open those doors, we can go one for one."

"Alright." That made plenty of sense. "Want to smoke one last time before you have to go?"

"No," she surprised me again, "I'm kind of liking this high, but not high, state. Go ahead if you feel like it, I don't care either way."

"I'm good."

"Edward?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Hmm?"

"Is this all going to dissipate once morning comes? When I see you at school tomorrow, what's going to happen?"

"You'll probably wear one of your insanely hot outfits, I'll walk around hard for the day. You'll flirt, tease, I'll try to restrain myself from taking you in an inappropriate public place. Same as usual," I laughed.

"No way," she smirked. "I'll be taking you somewhere really inappropriate. I owe you, remember?"

"You owe me nothing, I told you that."

"Sure, whatever," she rolled her eyes. "You'll love it."

"Fucking tease!"

"You started it," she left a smacking kiss on my chest. I had the imprint of her light red lips on my skin. I looked at her neck. Hell, she wore my mark and I was damned proud of it.

"Er, you might want to cover that up before you get home." I, personally, didn't give a shit. She could walk around showing anyone she damn pleased. Her father, on the other hand, it wouldn't go over well for either of us.

"How bad is it?"

"It's still red, a little purple."

"Jerk," she huffed. "You have serious territorial issues, you know that?"

"Learn something new everyday."

"You hack into my e-mail or go through my phone when I'm not around- I'll kick your ass."

"Duly noted." I wouldn't ever invade her privacy that way. She could talk to whomever she wanted... so long as they knew to keep their hands to themselves. Territorial, my ass. I was protective, concerned. Fuck being possessive. "Has someone done that to you before?"

"Phil," she said shortly without thinking.

"Who the fuck is Phil?"

She looked pissed. "The guy my mother married."

"What else did Phil do to you?" I struggled to keep my tone light. It really fucking mattered. I couldn't stand the thought of her being hurt. She had too much fire, so much passion... for someone to extinguish that, to make her feel weak and helpless- I'd fucking rip them apart.

"He never hit me," she said quickly.

"Bella, there are a lot of things people can do to one another that don't involve physical violence."

"Speaking from experience?"

"No, most of my fights were resolved with broken bones and low-blows. Sounds like you know what I meant, though."

"It was nothing," she sat back down and ran her fingers along the rug. "I stayed out of his way, on good days he avoided me."

"On bad days?"

"It's nothing."

Push, not push? I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. She was remembering, thinking of Phil. I could see the anger and frustration written across her face. "Bella?"

"On bad days," she took a deep breath, meeting my eyes, "we were forced to endure each other's company. If I wasn't out of the house before he came home, I'd have to wait until he drank himself to sleep in order to escape."

I stayed quiet. Without the aid of pot or alcohol, she was trying to speak, but it was difficult for her. Fuck, could I relate. I had wanted to turn the tables on her... but not this way.

"He never physically abused me," she said again. "Phil used words, he complained a lot. He berated me for… being. When he told me that their marriage would have worked if Renee didn't have a kid... That they'd be able to live decently; I cost them money they couldn't afford."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"I know," she sighed. "I know. His accusations were completely unfounded. I didn't cost them anything except for electricity and water. Even then, I wasn't home enough to rack up a bill. I rarely ate with them, at least five days of the week I wasn't sleeping under their roof."

"What were things like before Phil?"

"They were fine. We had a house, made payments on time. See, once Renee met Phil… we hit a decline. Renee's parents helped, once, to get us into the house. Her marriage had failed. They hadn't wanted her to get married in the first place. When she decided to move, even though she could have kept the Washington house... They decided not to have anything to do with us after they helped settle us into a new place. The cost of Phil's training-" she took a deep breath. Nearly tripping over her words, she back-tracked again to explain. " He plays baseball, wants to go pro. Combined with all of the problems at the time, we weren't alright financially. We downgraded to an apartment in a not-so-nice area. From there on out, well, I'm here, right?"

Her eyes were dull, listless. She was closing herself off. I put my hand on her arm, she was cold. Grabbing the edge of my blanket, I wrapped it around her shoulders.

"You know what bothers me the most? I told her. My mother, I mean. I sat her down and tried to speak with her like we used to. Back when I had an opinion, and when it meant something to her," she smiled bitterly. "She told me that Phil was stressed. Once he made it to the pro-league, we'd be fine. Everything up to that point, we just needed to be patient, to show a little understanding."

She was unfocused, her hand roamed across the rug. I knew what she was looking for. Lighting a cigarette, I placed it between her fingers. Her eyes met mine for an instant, I saw gratitude. Time stretched; understanding, completion, I always felt this way around her.

"If he would have left me alone, it wouldn't have been a problem. No, he cornered me, made me feel inferior. I wasn't welcome in my own fucking house," she laughed, a sharp jagged sound. "Mom didn't notice, or she didn't care. Either one, it doesn't fucking matter."

Yeah, I said that a lot, too. It didn't matter _anymore_, maybe. That didn't mean it hadn't at the time. "He never fucking hurt you?"

It wasn't the time to ask, but after her angry rant, I figured maybe the truth would come out if she'd been hiding anything. I knew how that worked. Focus on the events, not the emotion behind them. I had lied about so much of my past. Facts blurred around the edges because I actually had started believing my bullshit as the years passed. This was one of the few times that I told my side of the events without fabricating anything.

"No, he didn't have the fucking balls to do it. He'd push past me, but he never slammed me into a wall. He didn't think about me, sexually, I wasn't scared to sleep around him or anything. I was an annoyance. No matter what I did, or didn't do… just, he was an asshole. Let's leave it at that?"

"Yeah, no problem."

We needed a change of subject. It was my turn, I suppose. She was waiting, wanting a distraction. What the fuck should I tell her about? Nothing too deep, we didn't need to shovel any more emotional shit today.

"Alice had a mom. Her mother died when she was young. Social services or whomever the fuck put her in a new home. The couple was elderly, but they loved Alice, at least that's how she tells it. As fucking luck goes- she turns ten, that year the couple decides to kick it. Two years in the System, I don't know what happened to her. She found me shortly thereafter."

"And you said she doesn't remember?"

"I'm not sure," I moved the ashtray closer to Bella. "I hope nothing too bad happened to her, you know? She walked right up to me and said, 'I've seen you in a dream.' What the fuck was I supposed to say after that? I got her off the street and we talked. In the end, I couldn't let her go off by herself. She wouldn't come with me to one of the group homes."

"Didn't you not like those places? Why take her there? Wouldn't they make you stay?"

"I escaped before, I could do it again," I shrugged. "Besides, I wanted her off the street. You know how dangerous it is. Alice was a sweet, trusting, lost kid. They'd have destroyed her. So yea, shitty as the group homes were, it seemed like a better option than leaving her on the street. She might have to fight, but at least no fucking child rapists would get hold of her. What if they used her to make child porn or something, right?" Traces of bitter humor, I was all kinds of fucked up. "I couldn't just... leave her."

"So you… adopted her, so to speak?"

"I watched out for her," I gently corrected.

I'd never been a parent to Alice. The things I'd taught her; no parent would ever teach their kids how to shoplift or commit crime. I wasn't like Oliver Twist's Fagin for fuck's sake, but Alice had learned things from me that she probably shouldn't know.

"She trusted me right from the beginning, no questions asked. Nothing I said mattered. She looked up to me and trusted me to keep us safe. She did her part, of course, but after hearing 'You're my new brother,' and having her wrap skinny little arms around my neck- what the fuck choice did I have?"

_I could remember that day vividly. It had been a pretty successful day, to say the least. Stores in New York had a habit of placing some of their wares in displays on the street. I'd managed to pocket an apple, a few bags of peanuts, and two kiwi's. As I rounded the corner to turn down another street, I saw a figure barreling towards me out of the corner of my eye. I slipped into an alley because people in the city never notice anything if its not right under their nose. Two people fighting in an alley? Not their business. Two people fighting in the street? It's everyone's business. The cops are called, it becomes a big unnecessary fucking scene..._

_ To my surprise- instead of facing a homeless person who had seen the things I'd stolen, and wanted to beat the shit out of me for them- I saw Alice. My knife was pointless, I flipped it shut because holding a knife against a little girl is under even my fucking standards._

_ "You," she breathed, staring at me as though I were her savior or something. Two seconds later she was in my arms with her arms and legs clinging to me. We almost hit the fucking floor._

_ "Me? Who the hell are you?"_

_ "Alice," she had smiled wanting me to let her down. "I've seen you in a dream."_

_ She hadn't looked insane, though. No craziness, she was even dressed in relatively new clothes, her hair had smelled like soap. Alice stood there, relief clearly evident in her eyes. And then she had taken my hand. "You're my new brother, okay? I'm your sister and we're gonna be okay so long as we stay together."_

_ "Uh, no," I had protested, adamantly. "We're no such fucking thing. You're gonna go on your way, I'll go on mine. I can't be lookin' out for you. Not here." But I couldn't work up the 'Don't give a fuck' mental wall that would help me not care. She had looked so disappointed, I swear she would have cried._

_ "I saw you," she had insisted. "We're supposed to be together. Good things will happen if we aren't separated. You can't walk away."_

_ "Here." Really fucking out of my league, I had given her the bags of peanuts and my apple. She'd be able to eat for a few days if she were careful. "I don't know who you are, alright? I really, really can't fucking help anyone else." I walked out of the alley, she trailed after me eating some of the peanuts. I ignored my empty stomach. If I were lucky, as businesses let out and New York came to life at five, I'd be able to score some more food._

_ "You wouldn't be helping me," she took my hand, following me across the street. "We'd be helping each other."_

_ "Alice," I stopped and pulled her to the side. It felt as though we were gathering attention. I knew it wasn't true; we were two kids walking on a side-walk. Nothing about that screamed 'call 911!' "Why don't you come with me? I'll help you find a place to stay, food to eat. I don't know where you've come from, but obviously it's not fucking here. You can't go up to random strangers and expect them to help you. No one gives a shit."_

_ "I escaped a place like that," she said seriously. "And _you_ helped me, you gave me food. You're not a stranger, though. I told you-"_

_ "That you saw me, yeah."_

_ "And if you don't come with me, I'll walk across the next street without looking first."_

_ That made me laugh, I hadn't been able to help it. She barely came up to my chest, wearing a tie-dye shirt; this was insane! That's the best threat she'd been able to come up with. Walking across the street without looking both ways? Seriously?_

_ "Go ahead," I shrugged. "Whatever happens, it won't be my problem." She fucking did it. The sidewalk ended and she continued without a fucking care in the world. "Goddamnit! What the fuck? Crazy fucking-" I barely pulled her back in time. One of those yellow cabs came tearing down the street, fucking oblivious to everyone and everything, he would have hit her._

_ She looked shaken, but still determined. "See? You do care. Now, what are we going to do?"_

Alice had saved me that day whether she knew it or not.

When Carlisle and Esme came to speak with us, their impression of me hadn't been great. It was only when I told Alice, again going against my gut instinct to keep her with me- especially with what happened the last time I'd sent her away- Esme had seen the real me. The me I usually kept hidden under lock and fucking key.

They had adopted both of us. Alice had been right. We needed one another. She bailed me out of scrapes, I helped her in the same way. Carlisle and Esme had been the turning-point. They might have never met us; they had been looking for a girl and a boy. When I wasn't the first choice, they went to speak with the other guy candidates. Without Alice, I would have been left in New York.

Carlisle and Esme had watched us from a glass window-type mirror, I found out about that after all was said and done. I had been convincing Alice to go, easing her fears. I told her to send letters to my smoke shop, I trusted the guy enough to deliver them to me. It was then, I guess, that they made the decision. Alice had made it clear that she didn't want to leave without me. Esme saw beneath all of my tattoo's and steel, it didn't take long for Carlisle to agree.

"When are we having our tattoo conversation?" Thinking about mine had made me remember. I didn't know where the rest of Bella's were, I really wanted to fucking find out.

"I don't know," she chewed her lip. "When do you want to do that?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Sure," I agreed. "Same time? Come over after-school, if you want. Or… I could pick you up in the morning and take you home after we're done. Think your Dad would have a problem with that?"

"Most likely, no," she smiled mischievously, "I have a favor to ask of you, though."

"Oh?" I ignored the cold feeling in my stomach. Those words never led to good results. I really didn't want to say no to her, but I couldn't promise something I wouldn't be able to deliver.

"Do you own any pink shirts?"

Had I heard her correctly? I thought she was going to ask me to protect her from someone, to tell me that she was wanted for something. Did I own a-? "Uh, no… why the fuck would I want to wear a pink shirt?"

"Cause Charlie thinks you're gay."

Oh. Wait, what? What the fuck? He thought I was what?

"And I have another question to ask…"

"Uh-huh," I tried not to glare. I really did. What the fuck about me screamed 'gay'?

"Are you bisexual?"

"Fuck no," I responded immediately. "Never, I haven't ever done anything with a guy. Ever. Nor do I plan to... so if you have any notions of a threesome, involving two guys, you'd better do that shit elsewhere."

The thought made my blood run hot. We had already established, for both of us, a decided lack of other sexual partners so I wasn't really worried about it. No need to make a big deal out of this.

"The other guy wouldn't touch you, y'know?"

"Bella," I groaned. "Does that seriously turn you on?"

"You wouldn't even consider it," she hedged. "I'd think about letting you bring another chick into the mix if you considered my proposition."

I reconsidered, distanced myself from the issue. Rationally speaking, so long as he didn't touch me and his cock came nowhere near me… No, fuck that. I didn't want anyone else touching her. Their hands on her, expecting her to do things with them… fuck-that-bullshit. However, if we slept together a few times and we were close enough…?

"Uh… I, er, would love to give you this one, but… first, I don't picture anyone else in bed with us especially since _we_ haven't hooked up once. Second, if you really wanted to try… I guess…"

"I was kidding," she smiled. "I don't harbor fantasies like that, I just wanted to know what you'd say. You were so polite about it, thanks."

I had no words. I'd relaxed for one fucking minute and she had me jumping through hoops. Bella laughed at me, traced the tribal markings on my shoulder. "You- that was really fucking cheap," I rolled my eyes at her.

"I know," she smirked. "You didn't tell me to fuck off as I'd expected."

"Well, no," I hesitated, unsure of what to say next. "If it were a legitimate, er, fantasy… I'd- fucking hell. When it comes to sex, I like knowing my partner's satisfied. I'll try almost anything once, don't get any fucking ideas regarding that statement, but I'd actually fucking try it for, uh, you, alright?"

Changes weren't going to happen over-night. I might be more considerate, make more of an effort, but my language was bred from years of dominance battles.

"I appreciate that," she laughed again. "No worries, that's not something I want to do with you. Let's backtrack a minute? _Do_ you have anything flamboyant that you could wear? You could change before we get to school, of course, but I think Charlie would be more comfortable if he could see, first hand, that you pose no threat."

"Why does he think I'm gay? You really thought I was bisexual?"

"Your nipple piercing," she glanced at my chest. "He saw it at the hospital when you changed jackets. You weren't wearing a shirt, remember?"

"Yeah…"

"Charlie doesn't think a straight guy would have piercings like yours. So the only conclusion he reached was that you're gay. Honestly, though, it'd make things a lot easier, I know you'll agree."

"And if he finds out the truth?"

"I converted you," she looked up at me through her eyelashes.

"I'll find something."

"Thanks."

"I'm not fucking bisexual," I felt the need to add.

"Sure…"

"Bella-" Was that doubt in her voice? I'd take her right the fuck now… that wouldn't prove anything. Still, the idea was worth consideration. If Esme and Carlisle weren't fucking home… I was getting really tired of self-gratification.

"When I asked you about Jasper, you said 'taken.' I thought you meant that you'd already called him."

"You were looking at him as though he were a wet-dream come to life. I figured I'd fill you in before Alice jumped you for him."

"Girls don't have those."

"What?"

"Wet-dreams," she shrugged the blanket off.

"I disagree," I remembered her quiet moans, short gasps. Fuck, I shifted a little and hoped she wouldn't know why.

"I am a girl. You realize that, right? Don't you think I'd know?"

"One would think," I grinned. She blushed, I laughed. I wasn't filling her in, I'd interrupt one of those dreams sometime in the future and show her first-hand what I meant.

"Anyway," she changed the subject. "I should probably get home. You're picking me up tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah," no hesitation. New territory, indeed. "And I'll be wearing something, er, interesting."

"Can't wait," she kissed me, briefly. "I'll let myself out. No need to walk with me."

I stood and held out a hand to help her up. "I'm not that much of a bastard. I can walk you to the door."

She blushed again. What the fuck had I done now? Why did she keep doing that? Didn't girls blush when a guy made them uncomfortable? I was doing my damndest to make her feel safe, secure; I didn't know how else to behave.

"And they emerge," Esme smiled as we walked past the kitchen. "Leaving so soon, Bella?"

"Uh, yeah," she crossed her arms, uncrossed them. I felt as uncomfortable as she did. This was new, too.

Wait. I was picking her up tomorrow morning. She had met my parents, apparently I was going to meet Charlie as gay-Edward. I refused to look further into this, no need to over-analyze. It was only natural that Bella speak to Carlisle and Esme, she was over often enough. Alice had hung-out at her house, it didn't mean anything.

"Thanks for putting up with me," she started, hesitantly. "I know I come here a lot… if you get tired of seeing me, let me know. I, uh, well-"

"Never," Esme hugged her warmly. Her eyes were wide as they met mine over Esme's shoulder. "You're welcome here anytime you feel like visiting."

"Thank you," she replied, returning the hug awkwardly. "Both of you."

Carlisle smiled, looking up from two medical journals and his binder of notes. "I don't mean to be rude, I'm a little behind with work. Did you want anything to eat before you leave? We have pie, I think there's some pot roast leftover if you'd like some?"

"No, that's okay. Er, thanks for the offer. I, um, make cookies and stuff if you guys ever want me to-," she was so damn polite, her manners were fucking impeccable. "They're not the best-"

"I'm sure they're fantastic, but…" Esme walked back into the kitchen and reached in one of the drawers for saran wrap. I knew what she was doing. "Leave all of that to me, you don't need to bring anything with you next time."

Sure enough, she wrapped half of the cherry pie and placed it into Bella's arms. "For you and your dad," she clarified. "I remember Charlie having a fondness for cherry-rhubarb pie."

I stand corrected. There was rhubarb mixed in? Huh. Bella was a light shade of pink, not having any idea what to do.

"Shall we?" I put my hand at the small of her back, like at the hospital. Time to move things along. I knew she was nervous, maybe panicking, but it wasn't readily apparent. I saw it only because I was looking. Nerves of fucking steel, I felt… proud of her. Strange.

"Thank you again," she said over her shoulder. I almost laughed aloud. She had admitted to leaving people broken and bloody after fights, it really fucking bothered me that she'd fought at all. Yet pie was her undoing.

"Sorry about that," I lowered my voice as we got to the door.

"No, no problem," she shifted from one foot to the other. "It was really nice of them. I'll have to bake or something… any food allergies in the family?"

"It's not necessary, Esme'll probably flip out. They... like you, y'know?"

"I've gotta do something," she bit her lip. "They've made food for me, let me in… I'll make cookies, everyone loves sugar cookies, right?"

I opened the door, fuck it. I'd walk her to the damn car. Why not? She looked surprised, but went along with it. Was I supposed to kiss her goodbye? Were we friends with benefits? Did she want to be my almost-girlfriend? Was I her almost-boyfriend? Where the fuck did we stand? At least I knew she'd be over tomorrow, I'd see her first thing in the morning. Maybe everything would magically make sense by then.

"So, um, call me later if you, y'know, freak out about our conversation."

"Yeah," I leaned against her door as she put the pie on the passenger seat. "I don't think I'll regret anything. What's done is done, right? No taking anything back, we'll see what happens from here on out."

"Yeah, we will" she looked up at me again, her words meaningful.

"Drive safe, alright? Text me or whatever when you get home."

"Sure," she almost looked guarded. Why? I wasn't going to fall on her like some sort of rabid animal.

Fuck it. I had decided. Her window was open, I was standing here… I cupped her cheek with my hand marveling at how fucking soft her skin was, and brushed my lips across hers. There. I hadn't been a complete bastard about it. She looked shocked as I pulled away, but she composed herself well. As always.

"Good night," she squeaked, her voice being the only clue that she was unraveled.

"Night," I didn't tap her truck as I stepped back. It was almost a reflex, but I was still in a good frame of mind. I didn't want pieces of her truck to stay in our driveway. It was so fucking old, I was afraid that tapping the door would cause the engine to fall out of the damn thing.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'd arrive at Bella's house to be introduced to her father as… her gay fucking friend. I had to laugh, there was no other option. She had really thought I was bi? She had to be fucking with me. Or was she? I needed to improve upon my wardrobe, I instantly decided. Alice could help with that, she'd fucking love it. Heading back inside, I really wasn't surprised to hear Esme calling for me. Time for the talk. I'd explain best I could, leaving out the sex parts, and hope they'd understand.

**Authors Note: **  
I like what was said in this chapter, but I'm wondering if it's too soon? I don't know. I started typing and… all of a sudden Edward was ranting in the shower. I've no idea. What do all of you think? I think it fits with the story, I won't have to pull it later, but… uh, yea. It was rather abrupt. At least he shared some of his past, albeit the watered down version. We'll definitely be delving more deeply into that later. Hooray for them fucking Finally getting to the tattoo's. I apologize for making everyone wait, I'm still not sure what all of them mean, but I'll figure that out. Onto chapter 14...

**Authors Note 2:  
**As always, send me a message or pm me if I've missed anyone, and it bothers you. Preemptive apologies, just in case. **  
IvyLane, Snicerkz610, B. Martin, Bhekie-  
T**hank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad that you're not bored yet and that you find the plot intriguing!  
**Kitasky123-**  
Thanks for all the reviews! Edward will be more… satisfied with upcoming chapters. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!  
**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
No Tanya, haha. I can't promise that she won't make another appearance, but Edward's too distracted by Bella for anyone else to be a threat. =)**  
Panda-girl19-  
**I'll definitely have one or two scenes, possibly more, and soon, full of lemony goodness. No worries, muhaha.


	14. Built For Pleasure

**Chapter 14  
- Built For Pleasure**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
I don't really like repeating scenes, but there was a lot more going on than Edward admitted to. I'll try to keep it short- and if it does turn out to be longer than I expect, I'll add more to the end so that there's new material. OH- big mistake. So apparently Edward's room spawned a bathroom. I think it happened last chapter, which I realized made no sense seeing as Bella went down the hall. I'll fix that somewhere in this chapter somehow…

**Authors Note 3:  
****Bella's Shoes- **-  
www(dot)amazon(dot)com/images/I/41uAGxrVuKL(dot)jpg  
**Alice and Jasper-**  
http:/images2(dot)fanpop(dot)com/image/photos/9700000/Ali-alice-cullen-9706620-491-604(dot)jpg

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Wicked Game**- Stone Sour  
**Haunted**- Disturbed  
**Cuts You Up**- Peter Murphy  
**Built For Pleasure**- Informatik  
**This Shit Will Fuck You Up**- Combichrist

**Bella's Point of View**

I had leaned three very important things about Edward Cullen. One, he took inordinately long showers. Two, he forgave easily. At least that's the impression I had gotten. I knew the same was true of me. Hell help anyone who betrayed my trust, but I usually verified before planning retribution. And three, Edward had a shitload of porn.

I had been looking for his rolling paper and weed when I ran into the Adult collection of a lifetime. From magazines to movies, burned and bought, he wasn't damn shy about the topic. The porn I'd found had been an accidental discovery. I was intrigued, then slightly horrified as I realized he owned more than fifty dvd's, and was finally turned-on when I realized how they would benefit me. One in particular, something about a sultan's harem and assuming different positions, one per night for thirty in total. That definitely had interesting possibilities.

Finally locating his stash, I quickly rolled one and opened his window. I wasn't sure what type of weed he got, but it was fantastic. My high would be slightly different every time, but no less intense because of it. I hid a hundred dollars in his night-stand and marked one of the bills with a B. He'd be pissed, but he could use it to buy more next time he picked some up. I hated the idea of freeloading. Edward was a gentleman no matter how he tried to hide it. He probably wouldn't take my money, or any other offer of help, so I found other ways to show my appreciation.

The bathroom door, which I had thought was a closet, banged open. How was I supposed to know? I wondered why he had sent me into the hallway; what was he hiding in there? More porn? An obscene supply of condoms, perhaps?

"I don't see you as just another conquest," he slid the door shut- who had a door like that? Really? "I was thinking about everything, y'know, in the shower. It's out of the blue, I know. I just wanted to clarify."

I tried to focus on his words rather than how fucking good he looked. One orgasm apparently hadn't been enough. I wanted to lick the water from his skin, brush his hair to the side so I could see his eyes. Edward would never have long hair. Instead of growing down, his hair grew out and up. Only wet, as it was now, did it come to his shoulders. Most of the time he gelled or styled his hair so that it wasn't a tousled mess. Personally, I liked it unfucked with.

Being around him, my mind was constantly on sex and physical gratification. From the way he smelled to the way he looked, even the way he carried himself- I was a female, he was a strong alpha male, I wanted. Basic, easy, those things I could handle. What I was still struggling with had more to do with emotions and my heart. My head told me that one orgasm did not equal love and happily ever after. Renee was proof of that. My heart told me that Edward was too good of a guy to let go. I actually felt fucking hope for a future with him as a boyfriend. An almost-boyfriend, I corrected myself, no need to jump the gun.

Realizing that he was waiting for me to say something, I tried to form words. His eyelashes were wet and they seemed really dark and long. I really liked his eyes. They were expressive even when he didn't mean them to be. Sure, he could be cold and distant, but his eyes… I saw beneath the façade. He let me see what lurked underneath. Right now they were more blue than green. His towel was blue, maybe the color was reflecting. Either way, he looked entirely too good.

"Um," I cleared my throat and forced myself to look away. "Good shower then?"

It was nice to know that I wouldn't just be another notch on his bed-post. I had ceased thinking of him that way a long time ago. Fucking Edward would by no means be uncomplicated. We were too close for impersonal sex. I blamed the weed and alcohol, certainly not my intrinsic need to spill dark secrets around him.

"My reaction to you aside," his gaze flicked downward. I pointedly kept my eyes on his face. He was wearing baggy black shorts and another t-shirt. The band's name was all but completely faded, the shirt had been worn often. "-I know you fucking felt it," he crooked-grinned. "I respect you. I even fucking trust you for the most part, which I know is asinine. I don't expect to hear it back. Don't worry about it. You're intelligent, street-smart, sexy as fuck; I don't want you to put me in the 'fuck and leave' category."

I exhaled slowly and quickly took another hit so I'd have time to process what he'd said. What did all of that equal? He respected me. That was fine, I felt the same way about him. The rest... I could see it on his face. He was in serious-mode, not high, not mentally impaired in any way. He had called me sexy, I'd never been called sexy before.

I also noticed that he'd given me an escape clause. Whether it was for my benefit or to prevent himself from facing rejection, that was a toss-up. I felt his anger in the air, but none of it was being directed at me. He was agitated, edgy. So was I. The wheel was turning, I felt like a gerbil. Would I keep my balance or would I fall?

To hear that he trusted me. Jesus. Trust was a hard thing to obtain, especially with my experiences of the last few years. It wasn't something I was willing to grant without proof that I wouldn't be hurt. If only it were that easy, I knew that Edward already had it. I owed him several debts, he had saved me more times than I wanted to count. Yea, Edward had won my trust on the first day. It almost sounded as though he were leaning more toward the relationship step. Was I ready for that? Was I interpreting things correctly?

"Edward?"

He wasn't looking at me anymore. Running a hand through his hair, he looked out the window, at his bookshelves, anywhere but me. I hadn't said anything to encourage him, his name didn't count.

"Where the fuck did that all come from?" Okay, so maybe my reaction was a little harsh. Had my tone been as sharp aloud as the words sounded in my head? "I mean, thank you, but yea… it kinda came out of nowhere."

"I don't know," he replied after a moment. "In the shower, I replayed what happened this afternoon. We cleared everything up, for the most part, but I didn't see a resolution…"

I lost track of what he was saying. His sentences were so fucking long, I needed simple statements. If I had known we were going to be having a heart-to-heart, I would have waited for him. I had to call his name again. Seeing as though he still hadn't looked in my direction, he had missed my gesturing.

"I'm pretty high so if you could drop your vocabulary down about three notches, that'd be great." He looked surprised, amused. When he smirked, I felt my girl parts twitch. He did that really fucking well, too. The bad-boy, cocky sneer, which I usually hated, fit him well. Rather than making me feel inferior, he was letting me in on the joke. Not poking fun at me, he seemed to laugh with me and our predicament. I liked being included, equal partnership, he had admitted as much.

"Puff and pass, babe," he held his hand out for the blunt. I handed it over unable to keep from flushing. 'Babe.' Wasn't that something guys called women they were interested in? Maybe I was over-reacting. I had never heard any endearment pass his lips, but I hadn't known him all that long. I was still learning his quirks.

He was feeling the high. I saw layers fading as the seconds passed. Edward closed his eyes and sat down on the floor in front of the bed. Why the floor? I had left plenty of room next to me. It made sense to avoid the bed, I guess. I hopped down and sat next to him. He opened his eyes as my leg touched his. Sparks tingled up my thigh, I shivered. Pathetic, really, that being in close proximity to him made me react so strongly. Was it the same for everyone? Where interest in a new flame caused something within to shift whenever they were around?

His vocabulary improved when he was high, mine deteriorated. I gibbered, he spoke eloquently. I envied him that. He had grabbed one of the pillows from the bed, putting it under his head, Edward reclined on the floor. I studied his chest, the position he was in. Yeah, it would work. I wouldn't put too much strain on his neck. My legs stretched to the door as I curled up on my side. Resting my cheek on his chest, I was really fucking comfortable. Falling asleep wasn't an issue, I had grabbed an hour or two on the couch with him.

"I'll remember this when I'm straight, I swear." He was pulling out all of the stops, I wanted him to know that what he said wouldn't be lost in clouds of smoke.

Edward quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything shitty. I knew he wanted to. If he weren't so invested in this topic, he'd have made a sarcastic comment of some type.

"You're sexy when you get all serious." I mentally groaned. When he complimented me, I had felt… appreciated. My compliments fell far from that mark.

"Thanks," he smiled. Maybe he hadn't noticed my inept attempt at flattery.

"You were saying that you respect me," I continued, ignoring my pithy effort. "There was something else, it was beautiful, I'm sure, but I couldn't follow you." No cigarette right away for me, I wanted to regain some coherency.

Were we going to forego with all of the talking? One hundred and fifty minutes, we could do any manner of things in that time-frame. I inched closer, his skin was radiating heat. The warmth was welcome, my nerves were freezing me.

"Alright," he said definitively. "You want to know more about me, right? I know a lot of things about you, but nothing serious. Do you agree?"

"Absolutely." I one-hundred percent agreed.

"I can't promise I'll answer everything because... there's some bad shit that'll take longer than we have to go through," he took a breath having expended all of his air. "Ask what you want."

"Really?" Was he giving me the equivalent of a Golden Ticket? Free access to his mind, no holds barred, Inquisition style? He narrowed his eyes at me, not a complete glare. I didn't see the defensive barriers crash down though he went very still.

"You'll find out anyway, I suppose," he said slowly, carefully.

I would tread wisely. The air was clearing, my head wasn't as fuzzy. Good, I'd have to be on my game for this. Any questions that made him seriously uncomfortable, I'd avoid. Where was a good place to begin? This was so fucking… cool of him.

"What was your childhood like?"

"Well, Jesus," he laughed self-consciously. "You really fucking know how to start. You sure this is where we begin?"

"Uh, no," I decided instantly. Judging from his reaction, this story wouldn't involve baseball games and cracker jack. "I get the feeling I want to be less high for this story. How about you tell me something general?" I'd let him set the pace and work from there. Where he began with would tell me a lot. I'd know where not to cross.

"I, um, was a foster kid for eight years of my life." His voice was a whisper, muscles tight as though bracing for an attack. I didn't know anything about this. Shit.

He laced his hands behind his head; why? To hide that his knuckles were white? I could have guessed as much. Whatever worked for him, though. This was his tale to tell. I hoped that things would wind down before it was my turn.

How many families had rejected him? How many people had given him a chance at a home only to change their minds? Thirteen years old? What had I been doing at thirteen? Reading books on my bed dreaming of white knights? The fantasy had since changed, I no longer wanted the good guy. I wanted someone that I didn't need to hide from, in any way.

"Carlisle and Esme adopted Alice and I four years ago," he cleared his throat. "I was sixteen, Alice fifteen. It's been great so far, no problems at all."

Edward sounded as though he expected me to lash out at him. His tone was even, no emotion or inflection. Was this how he sounded with authority figures? Biding time, waiting for the ambush, choosing each word for minimal threat value? How long had it been since he visited these memories? I felt as though I were poking a sleeping dragon, one wrong move and I'd be charred alive. In this case, we'd both burn.

Eleven years old. What kind of people returned a kid? Like a piece of clothing or machinery, how could they be so heartless? Because he didn't address them as mom and dad?

"What happened that you couldn't say the words? Were your parents," I tried to stop myself, take a different stance. "Something really bad happened to them, didn't it? Were they not, um, good parents?"

He knew what I meant without needing elucidation. His eyes were nearly emerald, white marble replaced skin beneath me. He didn't breathe, didn't speak for at least a minute. I mentally kicked myself. Hard.

"One was sick and died, the other died of natural causes," he answered before I could retract the question. "The latter was my… Masen. His last name was Masen. A drunk, he liked to hit those weaker than him."

No wonder he couldn't say 'Dad' easily. Edward had been physically abused as a child. I felt my stomach clench. I didn't want to assume anything, but death usually came to those that were most undeserving. Masen, his father, had probably outlived his mother?

"I don't really, uh, like talking about them. If you don't mind?" He was giving me a choice, I felt the dregs of my defenses shatter.

'Actions speak louder than words,' I had told him that earlier. He had taken my statement to heart. I couldn't take advantage of the gesture. Edward was keeping his promise. If I pushed, asked him to elaborate, he would. Why? What conclusions had he reached in that damn shower?

Not that I didn't fully understand what he was doing, my psychological side was analyzing. Me, as a whole, wanted to be closer to him. I wanted to show him that I wouldn't do that to him, that I wouldn't hurt his pride with pity. Why was he willing to inflict such emotional pain on himself for the sake of sating my curiosity?

I shifted so that I lay against him rather than at a ninety-degree angle to his torso. Wrapping my leg around him, my arm around his chest, I rested my head on his shoulder and hoped that he could take comfort through my touch.

"What about your second home?"

"They used me to beat off their loan sharks." I heard no anger in his voice, no sense of him being a victim in this part of his life. Why the fuck not? Was the first family spoken of with derision because, in his mind, what they had asked of him was worse than being used as a bodyguard? Of course. Physical slights were so much worse than emotional ones.

No real opinion from him. He hadn't liked it there, but he seemed to be okay with people using him for his talents. It made me wonder what others had asked of him.

I hated the idea of anyone using Edward. He was so intelligent, savvy, and capable- I hated the idea of him feeling powerless. An abusive father, constant rejection, one home after another… I did the calculations. At this point in his life, he had already met Alice. It sounded as though she hadn't gone with him, where was she during this?

Thirteen years old and he was good enough to fight loan sharks. A boy fighting trained men, fucking Christ. I had noticed the scars on his hands, arms. I could feel thin lines of scar tissue, dark against his pale skin, all along his torso. Knife-wounds, where had he accumulated so many? How?

He knew how to fight, I had been able to tell in the hospital. The way he faced the strongest men in the room, instantly sized them up and formed a plan of attack; that he still carried a knife in Forks was indication enough. Knowing how he'd gained that knowledge made me feel ill. He was so nonchalant about it, he had to be. Get through another day, live to see the sunrise. I closed my eyes so he wouldn't see how deeply the retelling of his past was affecting me.

The Cullens had adopted him at seventeen, he had been fourteen when people removed him from his second family. Too young for that responsibility, regardless. Possibly fifteen at the time?

He finished his cigarette before I was halfway done with mine. Morale boosting time, he reached for the blunt. I didn't know what to say. 'Sorry' seemed crass and empty. I stayed silent, he wasn't finished yet. The high was fading and he seemed inclined to continue.

Edward, always the protector. I had been right in trusting him, instincts always won over logic. Why he equated 'nice' and 'normal' with wealth was a question I'd save for another time. He had left a potential real home, and the fucking state, to rescue Alice from a hell of underage prostitution. While doing so, he had broken at least three laws that I could think of.

"Does Alice know all you did for her?"

"The watered down version, yea. You can't fucking-" he looked down at me. I could feel his effort in redirecting the anger, to place me back on his side rather than the opposing team. "I'd, uh, appreciate you not enlightening her about the rest."

I bit my lip and hid my face against his chest. Smiling now would be really fucking unacceptable. The changes in him were dramatic, unexpected. That he was revealing so much, just to prove that he didn't think of me as a casual partner… I actually fucking hurt for him. I wanted to laugh, it was my defense mechanism. With nobody to fight, nothing to use in place of a punching bag, anger faded and gave my other emotions free-rein. Sadness wasn't an option, which left me with desperate humor.

Winding down now, good. This was a much safer subject. His hand moved through my hair, it was relaxing. "Alice has always been a little odd, not in a bad way," he hastened to add. "She… I don't know if you'll believe this, but she's really good at predicting things. Not small stuff like the weather, but- did you notice that she played a lot of country music right before Jasper arrived?"

I had noticed this once or twice, not in regards to Alice. Edward, when he was nervous or excited, dropped his polished way of speaking. I was fine with either, more than fucking fine. Trash talking Edward was just as good as scholarly Edward. And I had found one flaw. He was superstitious, if that was the right word. He thought Alice was psychic? He believed in the supernatural, maybe? I couldn't judge. Plenty of my fantasies involved fangs and my neck, or other places on my body.

"Edward, no offense," no more thinking about sex. "I grew up around country music. My radio has three pre-set country stations that I didn't choose for myself."

I could believe Alice was more perceptive than most, I'd even go so far as to say she was uniquely talented in that regard. Psychic, however… I tended to believe what I could see.

"You'll see," he replied cryptically.

The music wasn't nearly creepy enough for his statement. If his only flaw, if it were even a flaw, lay in signs and tarot cards, that was fine by me. I could read the cards, I had consulted them many times over the years. I believed in mystical energy, our being able to tap into it. Some people had fire, passion beyond the norm. Edward, Alice, Rosalie; they all had it. When I was with them, I felt as though we could accomplish anything. We connected, our energy melded; it was strongest with Edward. The electricity that ran under my skin whenever we touched, the instant chemistry- maybe I could believe him. Why the hell not?

Here I was thinking about tarot cards, rune stones, energy; why shouldn't Alice be endowed with psychic power? At this moment, lying on the floor in Edward's room, watching his ceiling fan cast shadows across his skin, anything was possible.

"Thank you," I hugged him impulsively. Alice was turning me into a hugger. Fuck me if I didn't like it. Things like hugs were usually kept as last-ditch efforts. Holidays, special occasions; I'd give Renee a hug to keep her from flipping out when nothing else worked, but it hadn't meant anything. A tactic, is all. If I grabbed someone's hand to take them somewhere, I'd shoot myself in the face. It was an endearing trait, for Alice. Like making the heart sign when saying 'love,' there were just some things I could not do.

"I'll remember this later and curse myself out," he broke into my reverie. Thank fuck.

I was the one who couldn't look at him now. "If you do, call me, okay? I know what freak-outs are like and… since you told me already, it won't be weird or anything."

"I'll keep that in mind."

He wouldn't call. Pride would prevent him from bringing this up again in any negative way. I understood pride and fear of appearing weak. Weakness was exploited, survival lay in strength. Why had I hugged him? I heard my other half mentally groan. To thank him for sharing such painful memories with me, for the reasons behind our conversation, for giving enough of a damn to try. For protecting me, for not charging me for pot, for saving my sanity with a seemingly endless supply of literature.

_ Edward's going to break his neck climbing down from that pedestal you're placing him on._

I wasn't over-exaggerating anything. That was the bitch of this whole situation, he deserved it. My earlier reaction aside, he really hadn't been an asshole. The two of us may have aggravated things, but even then, he'd gone out on a limb for me. My insecurity was holding me back; I wasn't having any of it. I'd been waiting to hear just about everything Edward had said over the past few hours, all my life. Why consider anyone else when there was a guy in front of me, half under me? What point was there in continuing the search?

I wasn't thinking about white dresses and a church, but I could consider planning something with him a week in advance. We'd have to not kill one another in the meantime, but the prospect actually… almost… sounded fun?

"I can't promise we'll date, but," he paused, sighed softly, "I'll really fucking try."

Damn mind-reading, son of a bitch.

"You know its ill-fated, don't you? People with this much baggage shouldn't date until they have it all figured out." I had extended the courtesy by granting him an escape clause. The word 'date' had been used twice. Third time was the deal-breaker.

"We'll figure it out, I guess. We've already taken the first steps, right?"

Flame on. This was real. It was happening. We weren't dating yet, but progress was being made/ There was an actual possibility of Edward and I being a couple. I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. Panicked with a side of excitement?

"Not running?" If Alice was psychic, Edward was telepathic. He mirrored my thoughts way too frequently, it was both eerie and comforting at the same time.

"Nope," I wasn't freaking out. "Can I ask a quick question?"

"Hmm?" I felt the vibration in his chest and smiled.

"Is this all going to dissipate once morning comes? When I see you at school tomorrow, what's going to happen?" That had been on my list of Things To Ask. Considering we were in quasi-date mode, it didn't seem like such a big thing to ask.

"You'll probably wear one of your insanely hot outfits, I'll walk around hard for the day." I struggled not to blush and failed. "You'll flirt, laugh, tease, I'll try to restrain myself from taking you in an inappropriate place, same as usual." He laughed, challenging me.

"Learn something new everyday…"

The rest of what we'd talked about faded as I remembered the way Edward Cullen had kissed me good night. Charlie loved the pie, I had a slice and... wow. Writing, lying across my bed, I smoked a cigarette and rolled onto my back. He had walked me to my truck and... he kissed me good night. Oh boy...

**o . o . o**

I woke up an hour earlier than usual, hating myself for caring. This wasn't a 'shower, throw on clothes' morning. Cursing Edward and myself, I spent half an hour shaving, shampooing, deep conditioning and lotioning. Considering Charlie was still home, I had to search for an outfit that was both hot and conservative.

I ended up settling for a fun denim skirt, a button-up, form-fitting dark blue plaid shirt, and my pair of fur-lined boots. I could, literally, run circles around Tanya's fake leather bullshit. Tying my hair in loose pigtails, which looked more sophisticated, less childlike, I rubbed some blue eye-shadow onto my eyes, added some black eyeliner. Perfect, I had achieved the 'just woke up' shiny eyes goal. Light pink lipgloss, my body-spray; I went to the kitchen to start on breakfast.

While scrambling eggs and frying bacon, I saw the cherry-rhubarb pie. Charlie had eaten a full quarter of it. I could recall everything that had been said. I was still uncomfortable with what the kiss had meant. Guys walked girls to the door, kissed them goodnight, but we'd been inside the whole time. Did it count if things had happened in reverse?

I didn't know what to think of his past. There were too many missing details, I had gotten the facts without much opinion behind them. I knew how hard it had been for him to let me in; would he pretend as though it hadn't happened? The subject matter wasn't normal conversation material.

Charlie cleared his throat, sitting at the kitchen table. "It's going to get cold later today, you gonna be warm enough?"

"Yeah, I have a coat," I knew he didn't approve. My outfit wasn't at the 'Go change now' level, but he was worried. "Thanks for your concern."

"Mm," he opened the newspaper, but made no effort to read it. "A guy causing this?" He motioned to my shoes and moved his hand in an all-encompassing gesture.

"No, I dress like this all the time, you didn't notice?"

"Jeans," he grunted. "Pants."

"I'm doing laundry," I melted cheese onto the eggs and gave him an extra helping of bacon. That would appease him for the moment. "We ran out of detergent, I'll pick some up later on the way home."

"I'll be working late tonight filling in one of the shifts. You might want to see if your Alice friend is free."

"Sure," I agreed. Charlie didn't like the thought of me spending all day and night by myself. "Edward's coming to pick me up anyway, I'll have dinner with them if they invite me to since you'll be working."

"Edward, huh? Something wrong with the truck?"

"No," I got up to get more orange juice. "We're saving on gas, is all. Alice and Edward car-pool, I'm sure I'll pick them up later this week."

"Mhmm," he was no longer interested. The sports page had garnered his attention.

"What are you doing for dinner?"

"I'll probably pick something up at the diner," he flipped the page.

"Loaded with fat."

"Just the way I like it," he chuckled. "And a slice of apple pie to finish."

"A la mode?"

"Ice-cream tastes better than a cigarette," he raised his eyebrow.

"You win," I laughed. "Enjoy your desserts."

"With whipped cream," he chuckled.

I heard a car engine slow, then shut off. Charlie was studying me, I could feel it. I met him, stare for stare, until he grunted and looked away, satisfied that I wasn't overly-enthusiastic about Edward's arrival. I brought the dishes to the sink and poured Charlie another cup of coffee. Edward was knocking on the door.

"Mind getting that? I want to finish cleaning up before I leave." Charlie would do the dishes, but I put food away, covered it properly. Aside from fish in the ice-box, the rest of his food had been freezer-burned. Ziplock bags and Tupperware were our new best-friends.

"Hey, Bella," Edward walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," I bit the inside of my cheek. Playing aloof had gotten fifty times more difficult. Edward was wearing one of his traditional undershirts. White this time to, I assume, show off his piercing. His jeans were faded, blue, and he wore black motorcycle boots. None of that was flamboyant… until I saw the stud in his right ear. It was bright pink. He ran a hand through his hair, the movement caught Charlie's eye.

I heard Dad retract a snort. Yep, he had definitely noticed. Was Edward wearing black eyeliner? I had to double-check, discreetly. Yes, yes he was.

"Sorry," I apologized for making him wait. "Ready to go when you are."

"Great."

Charlie stood, held out his hand. "Drive safe, don't give me a reason to pull you over."

"Of course," Edward withdrew a hand from his pocket. On his wrist was a rainbow-colored bracelet. No fucking way.

Charlie paused, but shook his hand regardless. "Mind my askin' what that's about?"

"This?" Edward held up his arm and smiled warmly. "Gay pride. I got it when I joined their mailing list. Not enough people take a stand, you know?"

Clapping him on the back, Charlie laughed. "Ya'll have a great day."

"You too," I kissed him on the cheek. "Be safe."

"Always am," he was still chuckling to himself as we left.

"You do 'subtle' well," I complimented, waiting until we were on the main road to speak. There was no reason for it, but I couldn't help feeling as though Charlie would hear me if I were anywhere near the house.

"Thanks," he grinned, taking off the bracelet and unscrewing the pink stud. "I don't know how you wear this shit everyday, it stings like hell."

I handed him a tissue after he parked in the school lot so he could wipe his eyes. "You applied it yourself?"

"Yeah, I didn't think it would be rocket science. Eye-pencil, eye, draw a line."

"Appreciate what it takes to be a girl," I took the tissue back when he swore. "C'mere."

He glared at me in the mirror, but turned his body so that he was facing me. His eyes were incredibly blue today, too. There were small green flashes, but they were so light that from far away they wouldn't disrupt the cerulean color.

"I can't get it off," I sighed.

"Try real hard," he smirked, raising an eyebrow. "It's fine, leave it."

"Ass," I took a second to study my reflection. Everything was in place, as it should be. I flipped three inches of my skirt's hem up, this had been the perfect choice. Instead of falling to the bottom of my knees, there were buttons and a fastener hidden underneath the bottom part. Now, I slid the buttons into place, the fabric ended mid-thigh.

"Jesus," Edward laughed. "What else are you hiding?" I made the mistake of looking out the window behind his shoulder.

"What… the fuck?" Nearly everyone in the parking lot was craning in strange positions in order to see into the car. I was surprised no one had pressed their face to the side windows. The windows of Edward's car were tinted, which meant that nearly the entirety of Forks High was standing at an angle that would allow them to see through the front glass.

"Nosy bastards," he sighed. "You ready? This could be talk of the town for the next week."

"You really don't ever do this, huh?"

"No," he said off-handedly. "They'll get used to it."

I warmed at his positive tone. It wasn't a question, this could be the start of a routine. He met me on my side of the car and only hesitated briefly before putting his arm around my waist.

"Fuck it," he smiled with me. "They're watching anyway, might as well go all out."

"By all means," I put my hand in his back-pocket.

"I was right," he said as we reached the front doors. "Insanely hot outfit, you flirting."

"And the rest?"

"All the time around you, and later," he crooked-smiled me. Bastard.

"What if I want it now?"

"Fucking tease," he growled backing me against the wall.

"I don't tease," I said against his lips. "It's a promise."

"Gross, guys," Alice huffed, walking up to us with Jasper. "First thing in the morning? Seriously now. Save it for later."

"Hey, Alice," I tried to step away from Edward, but there was no breaking his hold. At least I was able to turn around, I felt him shudder as I pressed back with my hips and had to smile.

Alice and Jasper looked good together, matching yet not in a cutesy-couple way. She reached his shoulder, tall in three-inch heels. Their main color today was white, Alice wore a navy-blue vest over her sheer, white, embroidered shirt. Wearing two turquoise bracelets and an antique ring, she managed to look both businesslike and… unique. A pleated short white skirt with white Victorian boots completed the outfit.

Jasper's white jacket hid his clothes, but the jeans and cowboy boots remained the same. His hair was more brown than blonde today, I envied him and Edward for their versatility. Edward's eyes, Jasper's hair, even Alice and her accessories- my style, for the most part, remained the same. Nothing about me changed. My hair was always brown as were my eyes. My skin seemed paler as the seasons changed, but that had more to do with my diet than anything else. Edward was pale, too, but next to him I looked like a ghost. Unlike Phoenix where I'd actually managed to tan a little, my skin was reverting thanks to Washington's lack of sun.

"Mind if Jasper joins us tonight? He doesn't smoke up so you guys'll have your... alone time," she grinned.

"I don't have a problem," Edward met Jasper's eyes briefly; a guy talk would happen soon, I could feel it.

"Bella?"

"Why ask me?" I was confused. It was their house, they could have whomever they wanted over. "I mean, I don't mind. You seem cool, Jasper. It's not my call, though."

"Sure it is," Alice took Jaspers hand, I mentally smiled. "You're one of us now. I don't want you to feel like your opinion doesn't matter."

"Thanks…," I was uncomfortable with all three of them staring at me. "No, it's no problem."

"Cool," she smiled. "See you guys later, then."

"She seems happy," I said after they left.

"Mmhmm," Edward agreed. I had noticed the effort already, he said something every time I pointed a statement or question in his direction. Body language replies were a thing of the past. I really hadn't minded, but a verbal answer over analyzing gestures and facial expressions was always preferable.

"They make a good couple," I led his gaze to where Jasper opened the front door for Alice. He stepped back and let her walk through in front of him. I approved. "Jasper's manners are impeccable."

"Nice word."

"Thank you," I grinned. "Where are you going to be at lunch?"

"Where are you going to be?"

"The computer room, maybe, if there's no one inside."

"Alright," he looked confused. "I'll meet you there after a cigarette."

"Save the cigarette for later." I bit my lip and looked up at him, "I won't take more than half an hour."

This was a gamble, but I wanted to test the limit's a little. I only wore one ring and my left hand felt naked. As we gathered our stuff- oops, I undid three of the buttons on my shirt, much better- I slid the claw ring from his hand. It only fit on my thumb, my other fingers were much too small.

"My pants and shoes," Edward said.

"… are very nice," I replied, amused.

"You took my ring," he looked at my hand and crooked-smiled again. "You still have my hoodie and my shirt. The only things you don't have, to complete the ensemble, are my pants and shoes."

"I don't need those, they wouldn't fit me," I spoke without thinking. I went back over the words in my head. Damn, I was proud of me. It was one of the first times I hadn't said something mortifying.

He snorted, "I want the ring back."

"Does it have sentimental value?" I remembered what Alice had said about his knife.

"No…"

"Then good luck," I laughed. "I still need a weapon, don't worry. My collection's not complete yet."

We got to the front doors, Edward opened one of them for me. He didn't stand as Jasper had, to the side of the door. No, Edward owned that shit. He had forcefully opened it, making it seem like an ordinary gesture, and tipped his head at me, humor in his eyes. His boot was wedged at the bottom, he looked very old-world, like a prince.

"Uh, thanks," I quickly entered, cheeks flushed.

"See you later," he had walked me to my locker. I felt numb, floating yet grounded by my physical body.

"Yeah, see ya." Way to go, I got the books I'd need on auto-pilot mode. What had happened? I was in control, using a boldly flirtatious move, I had gotten the ring I'd wanted since the first day in Forks. Edward had opened doors for me before, but that, two minutes ago, had been different.

I pulled myself together at the beginning of first period. Three classes passed, slowly, and I was more than three-quarters finished with Edward's book. Good use of time, I appreciated that all of our text-books were large enough to hide my personal book.

The computer room was empty, I felt anticipation curl in my stomach. Our computer lab teacher was very large and liked to make full use of the lunch period. No one noticed, or cared, that the room was left unattended even though the sign on the door stated that a staff member need be present at all times.

I chose a seat in the back. The desks were bigger in the last row. No window seats, I picked a chair in the middle. Flipping open my phone I quickly typed a message to Edward. Three quick sprays of throat numbing spray, I chewed on two mints to pass the time. I took out a bottle of soda and put it next to the keyboard. Kneeling so I wouldn't flash the room, I put my bag on the floor and heard the door open. A quick peek assured me that it was Edward. He wasn't able to see me, I quickly knelt under the computer desk. It was spacious enough that I wasn't cramped and had plenty of room to move around. Thanks to my text, he knew exactly where to go.

"Bella?" He had noticed me as he pulled the chair out.

"Unzip your pants," I smiled. "Told you I don't tease."

"You don't-"

"Waiting, Edward," I tapped my nails on the chair.

He raised his shirt and gave me a nice glimpse of the V formed by his hipbones. Sparse, light brown hair, he undid his belt, lowered the zipper, and unhooked his wallet to place it on the desk. Edward was going to make me work for it. I brought the chair closer as he sat down. This wouldn't have happened if the desks weren't completely enclosed at both ends. There were small squares for cords to connect with the computers, but none of them were near me. Nobody, if anyone walked in, would be able to see me.

I reached into his pants and drew him out careful to avoid the sharp lining of his zipper. Very nice, I bit my cheek to prevent a smile. Edward was very nicely endowed; long enough that he wasn't in the Average section, wide enough to hit good places, but not so that it would be uncomfortable to wrap my mouth around.

He was already aroused. Always, according to him. I wondered if he were an all-nighter. Now seemed a good time to do a mini-test. I flickered my tongue up and down his shaft and felt him looking at me. I looked up, met his gaze for a moment. Closing my mouth over the head, I licked lightly before taking him further into my mouth. I met his eyes once again, briefly, before I felt him hit the back of my throat. Gagging had once been an issue. Thanks to medicated throat spray and an altoid, deep-throating was no longer a problem.

"Fuck…" he gripped the side of his chair, white-knuckled. Using my tongue to swirl circles on the bottom of his shaft, I moved my head up and down. Toward my up stroke, I flicked at the head and added a little more pressure. The numbing spray was wearing off, I could feel him, hard and warm, filling my mouth.

I reached through the spaces in his chair and dug my nails into his arms. He cursed and I felt his cock twitch as I took him all the way down. Humming quietly, I added suction and felt his body jolt. He was close, but still in control. Edward wasn't thrusting his hips against me, wasn't bruising my mouth to get himself off.

Eyes rolling back, he closed them and threaded his hand in my hair. No pressure, though his hand was clenched. "I'm going to-"

'Not yet,' I thought. Slowing down despite the consequences, I might not be able to deep-throat him again. He would barely be able to feel my lips, my tongue ghosted around him.

"Fucking… Bella-"

There, that's what I had wanted. Raking my nails down his arms, I took a deep breath and shoved him, hard, down my throat. I stuck out my tongue and slid it across the base of his cock. It would feel great to him and eased my reflexive need to gag

I grabbed his hand from my hair and placed it on my neck. Moaning around him, I felt his muscles contract twice before he let orgasm overtake him. He gripped the desk edge with his other hand. No need to swallow, I let him slide out of my throat slowly while working my throat muscles to extend his release. Licking over the tip of him a few times, he growled and shuddered.

He was completely finished, I knelt back. My lips were numb, but I smiled anyway. My panties went from damp to wet as I watched him come down from his high. His eyes fluttered open, intense and sharp as he stared at me. He made me blush. Not moving his hand, he stroked my neck and collarbone. There was a light dusting of perspiration across his forehead. I couldn't smell anything but him, Axe and mint. He had done as I asked, no cigarette smoke had followed him into the room.

"That was fucking… amazing," he said hoarsely. I reached into the edge pocket of my bag and located my tissues. Handing him a few, I used one to discreetly wipe at my mouth.

"Thanks," I smiled, climbing out from under the desk. "Cigarette?"

"Need a second." Edward grinned, his eyes more green than blue. Looking down he seemed surprised his hand was still vice-gripped on the desk. "Switch with me."

"No time," I nodded toward a clock hanging on the wall near the door.

"Sure there is," he shoved the tissues in his pocket and closed his pants.

"Then we won't be able to smoke," I protested, drinking a few sips of my soda. "C'mon, you don't want to deal with me if I don't get nicotine."

"Unsatisfied, jittery?"

"Pissed off," I laughed.

"I can do rough," he said, but I shook my head and moved to the door. I had almost reconsidered, but too late now.

"How do I look?" I paused before going into the hallway.

"Pleased with yourself," Edward opened the door for me again holding it open so I'd have to brush past him to get through.

"With good reason?"

"Hell yes," he growled. I felt him harden again, my test complete and I hadn't needed to try. Holy shit. He grinned knowingly as I flushed, not from embarrassment. "I'll make it up to you later since you don't want it now. Half an hour, you said? You're right, there's no time. I take at least forty-five minutes."

"I noticed," I replied, ignoring the innuendo.

As we walked outside, he moved my hair so that the mark on my neck was visible. I shivered and he pulled me toward him so the side of my body touched his.

"Let's get the hell outta here," Edward said suddenly.

"Now?"

"Yeah, why not?" He lit me a cigarette before continuing down the stairs.

"I can't." I didn't follow him.

"Oh?"

"I skipped Spanish yesterday, if I miss it today Petry might call Charlie."

He paused a minute, shrugged. "Fine, I'll make it up to you later, promise."

"It's alright," I mentally laughed.

It really wasn't, but that had been my fault, not his. If I had really cared, I'd have taken advantage of his offer in the computer room. I felt myself flush with pleasure. There was no need to ask if he had enjoyed himself. His reaction had been evidence enough- I had caused said reaction.

"Fucking Spanish class," he waited until I had stamped my cigarette out before drawing me closer to him. His lips were gentle on mine, his tongue soft. We came up for air and I met his eyes, both of us taken off guard. Normally we fought, biting and bruising. It made me feel wary, defensive. We glared at one another, I crossed my arms instinctively and moved back a few paces to add some space.

"That was…"

"Yeah," Edward searched my face for an answer. I was doing the same thing, and neither of us had an explanation.

"So, uh, we should get back inside," I hedged. Anything to break the awkward silence. "Don't want to be late, y'know?"

"Sounds good."

We couldn't leave like this. He seemed to sense it too. Neither he nor I had moved to the door. I didn't know what to do. Talking about it wouldn't help, there was no explanation. Emotions that couldn't be put into words. Fuck it. I closed the distance between us with a two-stride small jump. He took one step back, catching me, but we didn't fall.

With my legs around his waist, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. Rough, passionate; this was what we needed. I felt as though I were crawling inside of him. The connection grew stronger, encompassed everything. He was all around me; the way he smelled, his breath, the taste of him on my lips, his tongue battling mine.

"Now we can go to class," I panted, lowering my body to the ground. Feeling harsh denim against me, I shuddered. Why weren't we leaving? We could be in his car and driving to a remote location. Why the fuck was I walking with him back into school, away from the escape vehicle?

"Wouldn't want you to be grounded," he stepped back from the door so that I wouldn't have to touch him, fan the flames.

"Right," my legs were shaky; that was why.

"Want me to walk you to class?"

The bell rang, perfect timing. "No, that's okay. See ya in a few hours?"

"Yeah, you will," he gave me the crooked-smile.

While walking away I glanced down at my left hand. I was still wearing his ring, it made me smile. Wait a fucking minute. I was wearing Edward's ring. Edward had let me take, and wear, his ring. It was on my thumb, not even on the same line as my ring finger. This was all a misunderstanding. I was over-reacting. I opened my phone and typed a quick message: 'Where did you get the claw? Yours is better than the one I have. Thanks for giving me an upgrade.' There, that didn't sound bad. I certainly didn't want to clue him in to my freak-out.

My phone buzzed a minute later: 'I found it, and I know its better. I didn't, however, fucking Give you anything. You Took it.'

He hadn't lied, his text-speak was spelled out with commas and apostrophes. Good grammar aside, Edward had still managed to sneak a curse in. That made me smile, too, but I felt calmer. I slid into my seat, only two minutes late. It had been worth it, I didn't care about the side-glances and whispering.

Where was Edward? I bit my lip to stifle laughter. The only two classes I knew about were lunch and Spanish. I had given him a blow-job in the school's computer room, but I didn't know what other subjects he was taking.

I had been asked dozens of times. Aside from, ''New girl, right?' the first week of school had been full of people saying, 'What classes do you have?' Fuck it, I wanted to know. It didn't make me needy or clingy, I was curious. Hiding my phone with a text-book, I messaged him again.

The light went on, I hadn't wanted my phone to vibrate. 'English IV, Psychology V, Trigonometry II, Lunch, Gym.'

Spanish with me. Problem solved, I would have found out eventually anyway. Now I had a text so I wouldn't have to verify with him if I forgot. Our conversations over pot and alcohol, the trust I felt for him, those were proof enough. And speaking of, I had an entire night of smoking and talking to look forward to. It was tattoo night with Jasper invited. When Edward and I snuck off, I'd show him tattoo's I wasn't inclined to share with Alice and her date.

The bell rang, I jumped, startled. I felt like Buffy in Whedon's time-warp episode. Class couldn't be over, I had just sat down. _And thought of Edward the whole time. Get up before its tomorrow morning._ Ouch, I laughed at myself. The little voice had been really sarcastic as of late. _Sucks that I'm right, doesn't it?_

No. What sucked was that I had rendered myself speechless. I rolled my eyes, yes, at myself, I had reached a new all-time low.

**Authors Note:**  
I know there's an error in this chapter. Bella, in chapter 3, goes to Petry's right after lunch. I'll fix that, sorry. It doesn't _really_ matter considering their classes, aside from Spanish, don't really play into the story, but even so… if there are any other inaccuracies I've missed, let me know and I'll fix them asap.

**Authors Note:  
Kitasky123-  
**Yay! Thank you, thank you! Enthusiasm is good, it makes me smile. Tattoo chapter upcoming and in the works.  
**Snickerz610-**  
Hahaha, I hope you were satisfied with Edward's response to Bella's 'favor.'  
**Tahughes-  
**I agree! That's what I'm trying to convey, at least. Thanks for agreeing, =)  
**IvyLane-**  
I worry for this Edward, as you worry for yours. I'm hoping it won't happen, because he has past-events and survival instincts learned during childhood. I just worry that those same defenses will eventually cause a rift between him and Bella, or vice-versa. Good luck with yours, and if you see this Edward slip… throw a punch my way, haha. I'll do my best to rectify things!  
**SaraLynnDarling-**  
=D Thank you very much!  
**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
I hope it makes sense and that I've developed Alice's character enough where her going to Edward wasn't 'crazy-Alice' but… 'its this way _because_ I'm Alice and awesome, trust me,' haha. Regarding what you wrote, if you see anything that doesn't make sense realistically, if you want too, let me know how I can change things? I apologize for any unpleasant remembering, though thank you, really, for continuing to read. =)  
**Panda-girl19-**  
I'm beginning to think so, too. At the very least, I can't think of anything to write in its place. The chapters safe, no worries, haha. Thanks!  
**Sarix Angel-  
**Wow. You are very, very welcome. Thank _you_ for reviewing! I swear way to much, too. It was inevitable, haha. I'm happy to hear that you're most like Alice, definitely need fun people like that, =D. I apologize to you, also, for any dredged-up memories. I'll try to get Emmett to make an appearance for ya, gotta gave him around.

**Final note: **  
All of your adding, reviewing, especially the sharing of personal experiences, really means a lot to me. Just wanted to take a second to reiterate how much I appreciate any and all responses to this story. Constructive criticism is always welcome, feel free to e-mail or pm about whatever, I'm always happy to hear from people. On to Chapter 15...


	15. Ink and Blood

**Chapter 15  
- Ink and Blood**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**When I get to the tattoo part, I'll post the ink of whomever goes first. I have to split them up, there will be way too many links. Some of them, because of my detail, I probably won't be able to find. My apologies, but the imagination is a wonderful thing. Maybe its better that way?  
**Authors Note 3:  
**I made a banner for the story, if you want to see it- check out Twilighted: http:/twilighted(dot)net/viewstory(dot)php?sid=10740

**Bella's Thigh Tattoo-  
**http:/fc05(dot)deviantart(dot)net/fs15/f/2007/114/6/7/Husky_Pawprint_Tattoo_Design_by_WildSpiritWolf(dot)jpg  
**Lock and Gun tattoo-**  
http:/th09(dot)deviantart(dot)net/fs16/300W/f/2007/214/5/b/_Rose_and_Gun_Tattoo_by_Kio_sama(dot)jpg

**Playlist**  
**Cigaro**- System of a Down  
**Fuck It**- Seether  
**Ink And Blood**- the Silent Type  
**Memory**- Sugarcult  
**We Come Crashing Down**- Sugarcult  
**Make Up Your Mind**- Theory of a Deadman

**Edward's Point of View**

I didn't even know where to begin. With Charlie, his easy acceptance, and Bella's transformation from conservative collegiate to naughty school-girl? Yes, I admit, it had been a little fucking strange for me to pretend I was part of the homosexual crew.

_ 'Edward, really? I know commitment freaks the hell out of you, but Bella will understand your apprehensions. You don't need to change your sexual preference!'_

Thanks for the bracelet, Alice. I knew she would have one. Any cause that came with one, we were part of. We had adopted portions of highway, donated to save various breeds of animals; any endangered forest… chances were, we owned a tree or had 'planted' one for environmental benefit. We received updated pamphlets during the month for support of homosexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism.

At one point Alice took a severe interest in an Earth-saving charity. She had tried to convince me to sacrifice every Saturday from then to eternity, from nine in the morning until three in the afternoon, collecting trash from whatever terrain the group chose for the month. Uh, fuck that shit. I could get into a really good brawl and do the same thing, albeit in orange.

Alice's causes did, however, offer benefits. A lot of things were discounted because we donated to such-and-such charity. Carlisle and Esme had made good contacts with some rather influential people who also gave time and money. Favors for favors, I was used to that way of thinking. Carlisle, good person that he was, used his skills without expecting anything in return. He considered my opinion worth something. Therefore, when it came to negotiations, he usually let me handle their affairs. The refrigerator in the kitchen, for example. It had been a Christmas present from one of their contacts.

We had also made close friends with one of the higher-end executives who just happened to work with Sony. A little digging procured me that information. I helped cultivate our business relationship and reaped the rewards. My television, one in Alice's room, and the bigger tv in the living room had been considered less-than-perfect. There had been something wrong with the television's paneling. Nothing that would cause an accident, the machine sealed part of the screen's border was three-quarters of an inch off-center. Nearly two-hundred televisions were dismantled or sold at retail prices. I wasn't too proud to strike a deal. It was perfectly legal and it saved us nearly three thousand dollars were we to buy them full price. Really? Who truly gave a crap about three-quarters of an inch? I couldn't see any fucking difference, let people say what they want.

Carlisle says I have a gift. I acknowledged that long ago. Manipulating people had once made me feel uncomfortable with myself as a person. Now? It was the power behind all successful business dealings. I didn't use people as often anymore, there was no reason for it. Every now and then I'd hear myself say something and realize later that there had been ulterior motive, but... so be it. I tried not to be a complete asshole.

There were those few times, however, when my mind worked faster than I could track. Those were the moments when I realized how devious I could be. Scary, in a way, it let me know that I'd never truly be on the good-team. I'd take survival and a quick mind, no matter how depraved, over being 'good' any day.

Speaking of, Bella had been fucking fantastic. Not only had she given me one of the best orgasms of my life, but she had done it with real motherfucking style. I hadn't realized until later how much thought had actually gone into the Computer Room Plan. From placement- not too close to a window, no distractions,- to forethought, her tissues and bottle of soda. Bella's ever-present consideration, the most comfortable fucking chair in the room had been mine. And jesus fucking christ. Her skill absolutely rocked my world.

With most girls, I had to coax them to use their mouth. Even then, the pressure was too light, they flinched whenever they thought I was close and diminished the orgasm. Not Bella. Not at all. No, she seemed to know exactly how I needed it at any particular moment. She met my eyes at the perfect time, in just the right way.

Her throat. Fucking hell. I nearly came just thinking about it. She had placed my hand on her neck, I felt my motherfucking cock in her throat. I felt the vibration of her humming, and then her moan, to my very fucking core. It was too good to be true, I must be exaggerating things. There's no way that she not only made me come harder than ever before, but she _timed_ that shit. We were cleaned up, smelling nice, and minty tasting with just enough time for a cigarette before the next class.

And what the fuck had been with that kiss? It had been my fault, completely. I initiated, and followed through even after I had known it was really fucking different. Yes, it was awkward. Yeah, I was a little freaked out. I blamed sexual deprivation. I really liked sex and preferred it be on a regular basis. Now that Bella was in the picture, I hadn't gotten very much aside from personal hand-action. With her spectacular performance still ringing through my body, I'd gladly have gone on my knees for her. Why she kept stopping me was something I really needed to figure out.

The first kiss, I rationalized, had been based in sheer fucking gratitude. I hadn't been able to show her my pleasure… so, naturally… the kiss reflected that. Right. That made sense. Until I got her text about the claw. It was nicely disguised, but I could already read the meaning behind it. Loud and fucking clear.

Sure, we had fixed things. Sort-of. Her lips crushed against mine, her tongue and teeth battling me for supremacy. I won, of course, but we were back on level ground. At least I had thought so. She was wearing my claw, a ring, on her left hand. I noticed as she walked away and looked at it. I knew what that signified. She was thinking about a real relationship. One day and we were no longer almost-dating. This had to be some kind of record.

The bell rang. I tried to make myself move but nothing was happening. Bella was wearing my ring, I had basically told her to keep it. She wasn't freaking out. Had she come to a conclusion? Did I want her to have come to a conclusion? I didn't fucking know.

I wasn't even angry, couldn't work up the energy to be properly pissed-off. In my head, whenever I thought of her, I saw her rise gracefully from the floor with her head tipped to the side. Biting her lip, eyes happy, she had tried to hide her smile.

Girls enjoying the giving of a blow-job? Myth. Deep-throating, and having it done well? Myth. Not any longer. More than anything else, seeing her blush and smile, absolutely pleased with herself and me, I knew she was… almost bound to be mine. I'd think more about it later, class called.

**o . o . o**

Of course being around her made me lose track of all the questions I wanted to ask. Smelling her perfume- no, body spray- and seeing her raise her eyebrow as I walked in two minutes late, I didn't care that she had my ring and was holding my clothes hostage.

Now, with both of us in my bedroom, I'd give her a fucking knife later, too, provided she keep her legs in exactly that position. She was going to have a pair of pants, as it were. Bella had asked if she could borrow something comfortable to wear. I hated for her to change, but her skirt would hinder all movement for the rest of the night. The heels couldn't be fucking comfortable, either. What was I supposed to do? Sit in a room full of clothing and deny her?

Jasper and Alice would be arriving any second, which gave Bella and I just enough time to smoke. My bathroom was again presentable. Cleared of condom wrappers and empty bottles of lotion- yes, I'm a dirty fuck- she could now enter without feeling pressured about anything. The last fucking thing I wanted was for her to finally accept I was making a real effort, walk into the bathroom, and be assaulted by sex and proof my sex life was very active. It hadn't been since her, but she wouldn't necessarily believe that.

"Why are you pissed?"

"I'm not," I smiled at her and took the blunt.

"Do better," she rolled her eyes.

The shorts were way too big on her. She had pulled the waist tight with one of my belts, I made sure it wasn't one that I'd be missing anytime soon. With her back flat on the floor, her knees bent, I could see up the leg of her pants. I hadn't meant to look, but… they were really large on her, I couldn't help but notice.

Dark blue lace. Boy-shorts, whatever the fuck they were called. She was wearing them. I knew the top matched, I had seen it this afternoon as she unbuttoned her shirt. I closed my eyes and took two deep hits. No more than that for either of us, we wanted to be coherent for Jasper's presence. When would I learn? Pot was not a cure-all. For everything else, yes, but for aid in assisting with a throbbing erection? No. It continued to make things worse, and I made the same mistake every time.

"Why am I pissed-off?" I forced my eyes to her face, not on her trim thighs and legs that- "They're going to be here soon and I'm gonna have to play nice when, really? All I want to do is get you off."

"Good answer," she flushed. We heard the front door slam, Bella laughed as Alice's animated chatter echoed through the house.

"Edward, Bella? I don't want to come in there, I've no idea what ya'll are doing."

"Nothing over a PG-13 rating," Bella replied.

"Have you seen movies lately? I don't think so. Meet me in my room when you're… done."

"Alice," Bella opened the door, "you're making it seem like we're a bunch of sex-starved nympho's."

"And I would be wrong?" She smirked and gave Bella a hug. Jasper was in the back, smiling at Alice.

"Let the guy have a cigarette," I interjected. "You guys set things up, Jasper and I can hang here for a few."

"Mmhmm," Bella met my eyes, she was texting as they walked away, closing the door behind them.

My phone buzzed seconds later, _'I don't know whether to bet on you or the cowboy.'_

_ 'Why are you and Alice taking bets?'_ I wrote back.

Jasper was holding a cigarette while looking for his lighter. I caught his attention and threw him one. This was only slightly awkward. I didn't know how to begin. Threatening him probably wasn't the best approach. I really didn't have anything to fucking say. Bella had walked into my life and left a fucking impact, same as Alice had for him. I couldn't throw any stones.

"So how do we do this?" he asked.

'_Just imagining a fair fight, you vs. Jasper. Could be kinda hot, get on that.'_

"How long have you and Bella been seeing one another?"

"Uh, we're not really seeing one another," I corrected. This wasn't about me? I hadn't kept us from joining them because I wanted to talk about Bella.

"Ya'll are together, though?"

"Thinking of making a play? I thought you were interested in my sister."

_ 'You want me to kick his ass for your amusement?' _I messaged without needing to see the buttons.

"From what I've heard from my half-sister, I believe you've met Tanya?" He said her name as a swear.

"You left her in the parking lot," I replied dryly.

"No," Jasper shook his head. "I was told to leave her there because she wanted to get laid. Seeing as you drove her home, she get what she wanted?"

"Nope."

_ 'Of course! Do it Fight Club style. I have ten dollars on the line.'_

_ 'For me or against me?'_

"I didn't think so," Jasper grinned. "And its Bella you're talkin' to, right?"

"Why would you say that?"

"No reason," he smiled and looked around my room.

_'Against better judgment, I've decided you're capable of winning me money. If this goes well, maybe we can branch out in other areas. Wanna be my gladiator?'_

_ 'When do I get laid? Stipulations include good food, personal first-aid, and three days off.'_

"You hurt Alice and we're going to have words," I sighed, getting to the point of this conversation.

"Alright. If things between you and Bella go south, I'll come lookin' for you."

"Why the invested interest in Bella Swan?"

"I hear she just moved here. She's friends with you and Alice, but no one else. I get the feeling she could use a big-brother type."

"I'm capable of watching out for her."

"Sure you are," he glanced at me side-ways, though there was no sarcasm in his tone. "Where I'm from, a guy doesn't just leave a lady when he's done with'er."

"Really fucking thin ice," I actually muted my phone for the moment. If Jasper were insinuating what I thought he was, Bella would get her fight.

"Now I'm not sayin' you're the type," he was ignoring me. "If, however, you were… I'd be right in assumin' your girl's different than the others, for you?"

"Not that its any of your concern," I glared.

"Its not," he agreed. "You were decent enough to refrain from speakin' on Alice's behalf, yet here I am takin' a stand for Bella when, we both know, she can take care of herself. Like your sister, I have a feeling that there's more pain than she admits to under the surface."

"Where the fuck are you from?"

"Texas," Jasper grinned. "Born and bred."

"And do you make it a habit of championing random women?"

"I don't know. Do you?" First fucking day and Bella had another person defending her.

"Fine," I took a deep breath and extinguished what was left of my filter. "You let me worry about my- about Bella, and you keep your attention focused on Alice. No harm, no foul. Fuck with me and we can settle it in other ways that don't involve talking."

"Sounds fine by me," he stood and shook my hand.

I knew that I could be held accountable for most of what Jasper had said. When I heard the accusations relating Bella, I don't know. It really fucking pissed me off. I wasn't going through all of… this… just to get in her fucking pants.

Why did everyone want us to date? I had thought Bella wanted the same, but aside from her one comment about my ring- which I could be taking way out of fucking proportion- there were no other hints. Fuck everyone. We would do things our way, how we chose; everyone else could fuck off.

"Guys, again?" Alice sighed. Jasper and I had relocated to her room

"What?" I asked.

"Its only been twenty minutes!"

"No way," Bella crossed her arms. "You've had too many shots."

"I've had two, same as you."

"Well…" she shrugged, sat back down. "Fine, whatever. You're right."

"You know those commercials where they show a stoner lying around, smoke curling around in the air? That's you two," Alice pointed at us.

"Whoa, what the fuck? What did I do to you?" I had been sitting here, not saying a word. What had I done to piss her off?

"When's the last time either of you went out? Did something other than smoke up?"

"When I-" I had to pause. Alice smirked. Shit. "I went… to visit Newton," I finished successfully.

"Doesn't count. What did you buy from him?"

"Wait," Bella interjected. "Your guy _is_ Newton? I knew it! He _seemed_ damn twitchy! Why can't I buy from him? You had such a problem with it."

"Mike has a dirty fucking mind and he doesn't always give a fair price. I'm used to dealing with him. I don't want him trying any of his bullshit with you."

"Are we talking about the same person? You think he could out-wit me?"

"No," I stared at her, not glared. "We have a nice business relationship. It thrives on fear and blackmail. You get to smoke either way. Why care who buys it?"

"Precisely," she replied.

"You want to buy from him? Go ahead. I guarantee you won't get as much for your money. Mike's greedy, too."

"He'd short me?"

"No, but he would give you the regular amount."

"I could change his mind."

"Bella…" I didn't even want to know how she planned on doing that.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I hate fucking freeloading," she paused. "I wasn't going to fuck him, Edward. Jesus Christ. I do fear and blackmail, too, you know. Just cause I have tits and a nice ass doesn't mean that I fuck people to get what I want!"

"Yeah, you do," I replied without thinking.

"Explain." She went completely still. Energy gathered in the room, Bella was a fucking inferno ready to be unleashed.

"A nice ass," I reiterated. "You do."

"On that note," Alice giggled. "Go smoke. I want some alone time with Jay." Fuck. She had taken at least another two shots while Bella and I debated. How long ago had that been? Did she space them out?

"You guys go. I'll stay with her for awhile," Jasper spoke up.

"You sure?" Bella got to her feet looking torn.

"Mmm," Alice snuggled closer to 'Jay.' He smoothed her hair back and smiled as her eyes fluttered shut. I could offer Jasper a modicum of respect. I'd still kick his ass if the situation warranted it, but Alice seemed comfortable enough. I would only be across the hall.

"Call if you need anything?" I asked.

"Psh," Alice opened one eye and crinkled her nose at me. They were fine.

I looked around, Bella must have already left. The door to my room was closed. I had to smile; when she wanted something, she got it. Sure enough, she was sitting on my bed with two unlit cigarettes balanced on the ashtray, the blunt in her hand.

"You've seen my wrist tattoo," she held her arm up showing me the tribal spade. Her shoes and socks were off. An angry black Pegasus rested on the top of her right foot. The animal was rearing, ready to fight or run. She had an anklet of- I moved closer and sat down so she could rest her ankle on my thigh.

We were doing this now? Fine by me, better now than never. Black rope, tied off intermittently with skulls, formed a complete circle over her ankle. One line of black arced toward the Pegasus in a tied loop. Normally tattoos of horses on women made me reevaluate our situation. Like the tramp stamp, butterflies and horses were that touch of unoriginality that made me take a step back. This one, however, was different from anything I had seen. Why did Bella need to run? What force lay behind the lasso? Would she stand her ground and fight even if she were caught? Why didn't she escape?

"Self-explanatory, huh?"

"I'd like to hear your interpretation," I traced the black rope with my fingers.

"Escape is always possible," she passed me the blunt. "Can't run forever, better to eliminate the threat immediately than feel a need to always look over your shoulder."

A-fucking-men. Fuck yes, I agreed with that whole-heartedly. "Those count as two tattoo's?"

"I guess, yeah," she shrugged. "They're meant to connect, obviously, but I got them separately."

"Pegasus first?"

"Yeah," she chewed her lip for a moment. "Your turn."

"Where do you want to start?" I had been making a more concerted effort in putting her thoughts and opinions first. Alice had told me I had a habit of rolling through everyone else in order to do things my way. I didn't want Bella to feel that way, I hadn't been conscious of it.

"We can work up," she turned my arm. "How is this Alice?"

"She had the outfit at one point," I met her eyes briefly and saw she understood. Of course she did, fucking fantastic Bella Swan. When I'd gone to New York, to my horror and disgust, Alice had been wearing a dress similar to the one tattoo-Alice was garbed in. "The cloak I added. It's a reminder of how important she is to me. Her past," I put a hand over the side with hearts. "Death and disappointment, broken hearts for when I was an ass and didn't listen to her. They're full toward the top because she's, uh, better now."

I would never allow myself to forget. I had the tattoo placed on my dominant arm for a reason. Any time I went to throw a punch, to reach for my knife- I'd see it and fight with my conscience. The future was still tenuous. One mistake, one slip-up, and Alice could be taken away again.

"When…" she shook her head, letting me off the hook. So fucking considerate, I wondered how exhausting it must be for her to study nonverbal communication all of the time.

"The left side is a normal outfit, Alice still has that somewhere. She, er, looked like the right half at one point. I got it after we came here, to Forks."

She nodded, "Don't take this the wrong way?"

"… okay."

My mouth went dry as she pulled my shirt over her head. Fuck this game. In the dimmed lighting, Bella's skin looked like fucking… moonlight. Pale and perfect, impossibly so, her breasts were framed by dark blue lace. The silk was dark enough that I couldn't see anything underneath. Judging by my nearly painful reaction, that was probably a good thing. She knelt up, I could see the faint indents of her ribs, hipbones, too, where her pants had slipped. Bella's hair was wavy and disheveled, I wanted a fucking camera. She raised an eyebrow, I bit the inside of my lip to keep from groaning.

"Inappropriate places," she smiled self-consciously. "I did warn you."

"Yeah, you did." I had long since forgotten about the blunt. Not able to look away, I searched for the lighter with one hand.

Reaching behind her, she leaned over and lit the end for me. I saw the flame reflected in her eyes and choked. Jesus, way to be masculine… I didn't give a fuck. In her bra and shorts, Bella was hotter than any chick I'd seen completely naked. I loved her blush; there was nothing for her to be worrying about, but she felt awkward. Why?

"Don't hide," I warned her. "You're better than that shit."

"I've gained weight," she looked up at me. "I didn't notice it until now."

"Okay, so you weigh, what, a little more than nothing?"

She flushed darker, "You know, the general rule when it comes to girls is- never talk about weight."

"Yeah, I know that," I smirked. "Its not an issue in this case, why shouldn't we talk about it?"

"You… suck," she laughed again. "I'm wearing more than you'd see at a beach, right? Ignore it."

Very fucking unlikely. She walked around in short skirts and corsets. The many sides to Bella were intriguing and confusing. She was a seductress, planning everything for the computer room... shy and blushing now. None of my tactics worked with her. She was too versatile, definitely challenging, I loved it.

More than? What the hell did she normally wear? A bikini, a string bikini. No one-piece for her, her figure was motherfucking amazing. Skinny dipping, dear fuck. "Wait until the weather's warmer. I'll take you to a beach."

"Okay," she lit the blunt again as I passed it to her, unable to look directly at me. "Anyway, this is the fourth."

On the upper swell of her breast, calligraphic words read 'Aut Vincere Aut Mori.' Two words to a line, I touched the tattoo and felt her heartbeat. She shivered as I outlined them. "Mind if I ask for the meaning behind these words?"

"I love the way you speak," she kissed me, tongue dancing across my lip. She opened her mouth against mine and sighed slowly. I inhaled, she knelt back and I exhaled smoke. Very nicely done. I'd be investing in a few word-a-day calendars. Fuck me.

"Conquer before death," she smiled. "That's the rough translation."

"That makes four?" her stomach was bare, there were no other tattoo's on her back or arms. Holy fuck, where were they. No way. She wouldn't have…

"Your turn," she pulled the shirt back on. I wanted to protest, but didn't want to come across as an ass. I definitely wanted to make a move. She probably wouldn't have minded, but we were in the middle of something. Goddamnit. I don't know what I wanted more. My body would have said otherwise, but… this mattered. I could feel it, something was happening here, and fuck me if I didn't want to know how it concluded without my sexual impulses distracting us.

"I'll make it up to you," I replied. "Show me the last two?"

"I... uh, I don't know how," she shifted uncomfortably. "Er, I don't want you to think I'm a tease."

I'd never call her that again. I needed to watch my fucking mouth. Her comment about Jasper's courtesy had really fucking bugged me. I could be considerate when I chose to be. I had been working on it, too. Apparently, what I said mattered to her in the same way she affected me.

"You're not," I said emphatically. "I won't do anything assaholic, promise."

"Assaholic," she repeated raising her eyebrows. "I could get onboard with that, yeah. Nice. Fine." I mentally braced myself as she pulled up the right leg of her shorts. On the upper half of her thigh, either a husky or a wolf lay in black, framed by paw-prints.

"He was mine," her expression was sad.

Fuck, this story wasn't going to end well. "What was his name?" I asked gently, if she didn't want to answer, that was fine with me.

"Buddy," she half-smiled. "He was my best-friend for thirteen years. When I had no one else to talk to, he would sprawl out on my bed with me, his head on my leg, and I swear he'd listen and respond in his own way. I got this for him after he… you know."

"Thirteen years old? You must have taken really fucking great care of him. That's old in dog years, right?"

"Yeah," Bella sighed, "it was his time. I don't ever want to forget him, y'know? Friends like that, you don't forget."

I didn't have to say anything, there was nothing to say. Her tattoo spoke volumes. That she felt so deeply, especially for an animal... I know people consider pets part of the family, but I'd never had one. Not a cat or a dog. One of the families owned a cat, but it was outdoors most of the time. It wasn't the friendliest of creatures. I gave him a wide berth of space in respect and he never pissed on any of my clothes. Fair trade, in my opinion.

Her words had made me think. Great that she'd found some sort of comfort, but why she didn't have friends… aside from Rosalie, I hadn't heard of anyone else.

"This is the last," she took a deep breath and lay down on her back. Raising her hips slightly, she lowered the waistband.

Even paler, I tasted blood. Bella shaved, she was meticulously neat. Whether she shaved completely was still a question, but what I saw satisfied all of my criteria without my having to say anything. I… liked a clean work space. Girls never had a problem with me, I groomed and took care of myself. Call me a bastard, but I expected the same from them.

Focusing on the ink, I had to admit- it was a real fucking piece of art. In the hollow of her hipbone, underneath the slight curve of her stomach, she had the tattoo of a gun enclosed by a keyhole. Vines curled around and up the gun, the flower that lay underneath it; why the fuck was that her last tattoo? I felt my blood freeze. Fuck, I really hoped it was for Charlie. The chill I felt warned me to brace for the worst.

"This one means a bunch of things," she cleared her throat. "Uh, the flower's for my mom. Its her favorite. Originally, the gun wasn't there. I had the stem covered and detail added over the top to make it seem as though it were always this way."

"Locked to keep something from entering, or to prevent something from escaping?"

"Both," she smiled. "Uh, my favorite book as a kid was 'The Secret Garden.'

"Cool, I read that one to Alice," I said without thinking. "A long time ago."

"It's a good book," she agreed. "After Phil came along, I realized how quickly things could change. The gun's partly for Charlie, him being chief of police, y'know? Its also because… I'll never forget how it felt staring down the barrel of one."

She should have kicked me in the stomach. It probably would have been less painful. Fury swiftly followed. Who the fuck had pointed a gun at her? I'd kill them. Shooting would be too fucking merciful. I'd pull them apart and make them watch, Sin City style. The thought of Elijah Wood added fuel to the fire. Something about him really creeped me the fuck out.

"Bad night," she chewed on her lip, blushed a little.

"How bad?"

"No one was hurt," she elaborated.

Big fucking deal. If a piece had been pulled, shit had gone down. I needed to know when, where, who, whether they had been eradicated, violently.

"He, er, didn't want to give me the cash. It only happened that one time."

"One fucking time too many," I couldn't help saying.

"I talked him into paying," she shrugged her fucking shoulders. "Not a huge deal. I mean, I won't forget it anytime soon, but like I said, nobody got hurt. He felt really fucking bad about it in the long run."

"You continued to associate with that motherfucker?"

"Edward," she rested a hand on my arm, put her hand over my eyes. "The point of that story , which you asked for, wasn't to say that I live in fear."

"Of course," I growled.

She lowered her hand slightly before changing her mind and returning it to the original position. "He's not exactly a friend, but he wouldn't ever do it again. Coke makes people a little weird, and he was trying to get clean. I gave him a hard time when he slipped off the wagon. I broke my own rule. Never get involved, right? What they do is their business. I deliver, that's all. No conversation, no partaking- get in, get the fuck out. It was my decision, stop freaking out."

"I'm... sorry. I'll kill him if I ever meet him, but you're right. I did ask, and I shouldn't have flipped the fuck out on you."

"Good," she removed her hand without checking. "Not the killing him part, I don't ever want anyone thinking they have to kill for me."

"Too late."

"Edward!"

"Well, it is," I insisted. "The moment I saved you, I knew. Too fucking late. You made the list. People I'd kill for, die for, yeah, you made it. I'm sure your father would happily put a bullet through me were he to learn the truth about my sexuality."

"That's different."

"You didn't differentiate."

Someone knocked at the door, Bella sat up and began putting her shoes back on. It was pretty late, but I didn't want her to leave. Damnit, cowboy, his timing left something to be desired.

"Hey," Jasper peeked in. "I'm headin' out now. I can give you a ride if you're not stayin', Bells?"

Bells? What the fuck was that about? An ass-kicking was imminent.

"Sure," she checked her phone for the time. "That'd be great, thanks. I'll chip in for gas."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Can't let you do that, but your company would be nice. I'll wait for you near the truck."

"Thanks," she smiled.

"See you tomorrow?" I asked as she got her things together.

"Yeah," Bella paused.

I got to one knee in front of her, spread her legs and leaned my chest against hers. Yeah, I kissed her. What the fuck ever. I wouldn't have objected if she wanted to stay, but Charlie had been really cool about everything. No need to push things, not with the weekend approaching.

"Bella," I stopped her as she turned the doorknob. "How did it make you feel? Staring down the barrel?"

"… anticipatorily happy," she closed the door behind her.

My phone buzzed a few seconds later. Shit, that's right, I had never checked her last message. 'I was kidding. Don't freak out again.' I'd bet both of my testicles, which were really important to me, that she hadn't been lying.

'Uh… sure. Not freaking out, but I have more questions for you.'

"Nope' she had written back, 'its my turn next time, save'em.'

Her first message read: 'I'll feed you, nurse you back to health, sure. I agree to the terms. As to your getting laid- make a move, Cullen.'

I flipped back through her texts. She had only been kidding, huh? Her smile had been genuine; bitter, slightly cold, her eyes were dark. Sure, kidding. My ass she was. And her 'make a move' bit. Fuck. I'd dropped the goddamn ball. She had launched into the damn tattoo stories. Sure, she had been waiting for me on the bed, but how the fuck was I supposed to know she expected me to take her? If she had given me three more seconds upon entering the room before she launched into conversation… maybe I'd have gotten the message sooner. Literally.

Fuck it, I'd make it all up to her. Every fucking thing. For having to stare at death, for having to talk to a dog, for motherfucking Phil; I'd fucking fix it all if I could. I was actually happy that I hadn't taken her bait. What I learned from her tonight mattered more than physical gratification.

It did, I convinced myself successfully. 'We're going somewhere tomorrow. We aren't complete fucking stoners.'

'Fine,' I could fucking feel her smile. 'We'll take my truck then. I'll come get you tomorrow morning?'

'No way. Save your truck for the beach… if she makes it that long.'

'That's nearly two seasons away.'

I paused, understanding the implication of what I was about to type. I did it anyway. 'I know.'

Panic rose in my throat. Shit. I clenched my fist around the phone, what the fuck had I-? Quickly typing another message I willed it to reach her before I got a reply. 'Blue fucking lace, I'll sleep better tonight. Thanks.'

Let her take from that what she would.

Two seconds later: 'Your clothes smell like you. I'll have fun, and sleep much better tonight. Thanks to You.' Fucking hell, I laughed. Bella won. I turned the music up and lit a cigarette. Hell yea, she won.

**Authors Note:**  
Progress, right? And a new location! Hell yes for that! I don't know about you guys, but I was getting a little tired of the school-Edward's house routine. Things should get more lively, I have no idea what they're waiting for, but at least the information in between is helpful?

**Authors Note:  
Snickerz610**-  
Hahaha, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed that. =D**  
Tahughes-**  
Yeah, I thought it would mean more 'seeing' things from her point of view. It's such a guy… thing usually, haha. Thank you!  
**Clary Shadows-**  
I try to make it so he doesn't, =P. I'm happy you like Charlie, I've heard that from a couple of people, actually. Makes me really glad, I always liked Charlie in the books and movie. He seemed like a cool dad.  
**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
Yay! That's what I was going for! To answer your question… yes, throat spray definitely works. The mints, in my experience, helped with that, too, but people use them for the sensation. Tingles, lol. I'm glad for you in that you've… reconciled. Thanks for your ever-present support! Ambesol works, too, if you can bring yourself to gargle. It tastes like shit, though. Upside? Lasts longer than the throat spray…  
**Kitasky123-**  
Hope you let me know what you think about this chapter! Edward will be explaining next chapter, already working on it!  
**SaraLynnDarling**-  
Hi! I'll go back and check those chapters, thanks for bringing that to my attention! Thank you, too, for the compliments!  
**XxSparrow57xx**-  
Thank you, thank you for reviewing and saying such incredibly awesome things! Yes, more lemony lemons are in the works. I'm excited that you mentioned humor, I usually lose a lot of people when I try to be funny, haha. I have Twitter, too, I'll be looking you up shortly. Thanks again!


	16. I Like It Rough

**Chapter 16  
- I Like It Rough**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and all related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
I made a banner! I know, this is pathetic, but as of right now… I'm still really excited about it! Gay, not gay- I don't know, I'm very happy with the final result!  
**Authors Note 3: **  
I'm usually better with warning people about graphic lemons, etc, but I've been really lax with that lately. Sorry to anyone who was offended. Consider this the warning, haha, there are scenes with sexual content ahead in the chapter.

**Playlist**  
**Trouble**- Pink  
**Bad Influence**- Pink  
**Life is a Highway**- Rascal Flatts  
**I Want You So Hard**- Eagles of Death Metal  
**I Like It Rough**- Lady Gaga  
**S.E.X**- Nickelback

**Bella's Point of View**

"Yeah, like, I totally can't believe it. His car, did you, like, see her today and yesterday? I mean, what the hell, you know? I actually asked him for a ride once."

"I know, I did, too. I don't care, whatever, right? He'll get bored and move on in another few days. She'll be used goods and, because she's, like, such a bitch, no one else will want her."

I told myself to breathe. What Jessica Stanley and her posse said was of no concern to me. I knew they wanted a reaction; why else were their nasal voices raised loud enough for me to hear? I, unfortunately, had two classes with them, Spanish and Health class. When Gym time rolled around, I didn't want to be anywhere near them. The damage I could do would be unintentional, I couldn't say the same for them.

The bell rang, I sighed in relief. Fucking finally. I couldn't help myself, the anger was rising and I could all but feel myself doing something rash. I pictured slamming Mallory's head against one of the windows, maybe through the chalkboard. Our teacher had left once the bell sounded. He got to go home, lucky bastard. I had five minutes in which to plan retribution. No, that would be bad. I couldn't bloody them no matter how fuck-all irritating they were.

'I can't believe you slept with the Blondes. I feel a complex coming on.' There, turn it to humor. Hopefully Edward would take my text as such and not think I was judging him. Wait, I was judging a little.

'No comparison,' he had written back. I smiled, smooth-talking bastard.

"So, like, the dance is coming up. Know who I'm going to ask?"

Sighing, I rolled my eyes. Why were they blocking the door? It had to be planned. My irritation grew in leaps and bounds. I didn't go out of my way to antagonize any of them. In fact, I avoided them whenever possible, more for my benefit than theirs.

"No! Lauren, you're such a bitch, really?" Well, I couldn't disagree with that.

"Yep," I saw her smirk. "He'll be done with her by then."

"He doesn't date. Why d'you think he'd take you to the dance?"

They were more clever than I had given them credit for. By not mentioning anyone specifically, they could be talking about anyone. They weren't, I knew exactly what they were referencing, but so long as they didn't mention Edward, I felt no reason to show them any attention.

"Why do you get to ask him? Edward likes me better, anyway." Except for Stanley, I closed my eyes and counted to five. Alright, game on.

"Bella? What the fuck? You told me to meet you here, we still have time for a smoke before Spanish."

Edward? Why the hell was he here? I had texted him, yes, but I hadn't- oh, he was interceding. Smiling again, trying not to blush, I met his smug expression and tried to match it.

"Call the cows home," I nodded to the three open-mouthed people in front of me.

"Wait, did she just-" Lauren flipped her hair and glared at me.

"Call you cows? Yes. Sheep would have been a more operable word, but sheep follow, they don't move when you want them to. Both apply."

"She-"

I pushed past them. Their narrative aside, surely I could be a bigger person. I didn't need to stoop to their level. Edward didn't take notice of them, he did crooked-smile for me. I swear, Stanley came. Her face was red, she was strangling on air.

"Hey," I ran my hands up his chest, twined them behind his neck. I pressed my lower body against his and twitched my hip.

"Hell-fucking-o," he growled against my neck. I arced backward as he nibbled across my throat. Finally, his lips met mine, he slid his tongue into my mouth and groaned.

I saw humor and superiority in his eyes. How much had he heard? Again, Edward had stepped in during an awkward moment. His help wasn't needed, but I was appreciative of it all the same. I guess we had gone public. Funny how, right this moment, it really didn't bother me.

"Oh," I looked nonchalantly over my shoulder. "Blocking your exit?"

He backed me against the door so they could get through. Time for round two, I grinned as he leaned in, not wasting any time. Nosy fucks that Mallory's crew were, they walked past us, but lingered within hearing range.

"So, Alice played a big role in the dance set for Friday."

I blinked up at him, still recovering from our second make-out session. "Uh, yeah, I helped her with the Playlist."

"Me too," he shifted so his bag rested more comfortably on his back. I watched the ripple across his arms and chest muscles, very fucking nice. "You picked some great music."

"Its your Ipod we listen to in the car and when we're alone?"

"Yup."

"I like your musical preferences, also." A lot of the albums he owned were in my Ipod, as well. Granted, I had more angry chick music and goth club music whereas Edward preferred heavy metal, industrial, and EBM.

"Thanks," he cleared his throat. "Alice is, uh, going with Jasper."

"Good! I'll have to talk with her later! She's got to be-"

"She, er, actually wanted to know if you wanted to go dress-shopping or whatever with her."

"Me?" Oh? Oh. I was a world-class idiot. Alice was perfectly capable of contacting me. She didn't need to use Edward as a go-between. I was an oblivious moron. "Asking me something, Edward?"

That seemed to be the trigger. He put an arm to the side of my head, relaxed now, more in control. His posture was territorial, but I felt the opposite of cornered. Like at the hospital, in our conversations, he was giving me an escape.

"Why the fuck not?" he paused. "Would you accompany me to the dance, Bella Swan?" His voice was low, seductive. Dark promise in his eyes; how could I say no after that impressive ask-out? I had planned to go, anyway, mostly because it would break Alice's heart if I didn't make an appearance. Sadly, I _had_ calculated Edward's presence in my evening. Completely jumping the gun, at least it seemed that he had done the same.

"I'd be delighted," I even curtsied to document the moment.

"That's the second time I've seen you do that," he laughed.

"… bitch!" Edward and I both turned to look behind us. Lauren's face was mottled, she was furious. They were still hanging around?

"You all have one minute, exactly, to get into your classrooms. Second bell is going to ring in… forty-three seconds. After that, I hand out detention slips like there's no tomorrow." Mrs. Cope, the secretary and partial hall-monitor walked toward us, orange slips in hand. I grabbed Edward's arm as he moved toward Petry's room.

"Skipping today, huh," he kept his voice low as we quickly walked down the hallway.

"She's up here, which means that she won't see us sneak past her office. I went to class yesterday. We'd be late, anyway. You know Petry hates that."

"Devious as hell," he smiled mischievously. We made it down the stairway and out of the school without any problems. I loved Forks High. Charlie had been right in more ways than one. FHS was easy as hell, no real effort required.

"Your parents home?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're not expecting me to be home until after eight." Edward looked back over his shoulder. He pulled me in front of him and whispered, urgently, "Get behind the wall up there. Go!" I slipped into instant-action mode and did as he asked without questioning him.

"Edward Cullen!"

Damn him! Edward wasn't Rosalie, he'd sacrifice himself for the people he cared about. I couldn't unwittingly follow him. Good information to have. If anyone was going to take the heat, it'd be me. He had more to lose than I did. How the hell had the secretary made it back to her office so quickly?

"Yes, Mrs. Cope?"

"Mind explaining why you're not in class, and outside of all places?"

"I have this condition," I heard him smile. "Sometimes, for no reason, I get really hot. Seeing as I can't strip down in school anymore, I chose to get some air."

"Mhmm," she didn't sound convinced. I took a quick peek around the wall to assess their situation. Nope, she wasn't relenting. What did he mean by again?

"Its-"

"Edward? What are you doing? We've got to go!" I took a deep breath and sprinted out from behind safety. Waving my phone in the air, I felt my face flush as he stared at me incredulously.

"Ms. Swan? Why-"

"Something insane happened. Since he drove me here, I'm sorry, I really don't have time to explain," I bit my lip and wrung my hands. I saw recognition dawn; yes, I was the daughter of Forks' Chief of Police. She immediately took a step backward. Thank fuck, I really hadn't thought past that point.

"No, no," she shook her head after a second. "Nice try, kids. I almost believed you. Mr. Cullen, before your timely entrance, had no idea there was an emergency."

"He didn't know-"

"All I did was drive," Edward raised his hands as an innocent bystander. "She said I needed to take her home, I agreed. Not my business, you know?"

"Look, you don't need to believe me, but I cant go back in there right now," I added moving backwards across the pavement.

"Fine," she sighed, crossing her arms. I mentally cheered, she was going to go away! "I don't expect this to be a routine thing, both of you. Go," she turned on her heel and walked back toward school.

Edward and I stared at one another for a moment, stunned, before we made a beeline to his car. The sense of urgency continued as he pulled the car out of his parking space and revved the engine as we tore out of the lot.

"What the fuck was that?" He was laughing, trying to plug his Ipod into the car's stereo.

"Good, huh? I exceeded my own expectation for bullshit."

"Hell fuck yes," he grinned at me. "That was a huge motherfucking gamble. I swear, she was going to call you on the lie."

"Oh god, I thought so too." My heart was still pounding. The song was calming, not his usual thrash-stomp-fight music. I thought back over what had happened. "You know, we didn't exactly lie."

"No?" Edward raised his eyebrow.

"No. I never mentioned Charlie or Carlisle. In my opinion, something insane did happen. And we really couldn't have gone to class, Petry would have doubled the detention. See?"

"Ulterior fucking motives," he lit a celebratory cigarette and handed it to me. "You're fucking fantastic, babe."

"Hopefully without karmic backlash. We should stay off the main-roads just to be safe. No need to invite fuckery."

"Having your dad pull us over-"

"Why did you say that?" I punched his arm lightly, "you jinxed it."

"You jinxed it," he balanced the cigarette between his lips while using both hands to turn the wheel down a dirt path. We should have taken my truck. Our exit wouldn't have been nearly as dramatic, but his car was going to need washing after today. "You made it an official thing, if your dad pulls us, its all on you."

"Stop talking about it," I laughed with him. This, all of it, was insane.

"Alright, so I had something planned, but you're wearing heels. Did you want to stop-" he paused, "no, fuck that. I cant fucking think about you in pants. You're comfortable?"

"Edward, whoa. You just hurled three statements at me, none of which make any sense." Main gist? He really fucking liked my outfit. Problem? His plan or whatever hadn't included formalwear. I wasn't exactly the sporting type… "I can change, yeah. It shouldn't be too risky. Charlie rarely, if ever, comes home when he's working."

"Are you comfortable in what you're wearing?"

"… yes…"

"Fuck it then," he shrugged. "We can go Alice-style. I don't think you weigh much more than her."

"Didn't we go over this last night?"

"Huh?" He glanced over at me curiously. "The weight comment? Forgive me for not caring."

"Ass." I wanted to stick my tongue out at him. That would be undignified. … no it wouldn't. I did it anyway, he laughed at me again.

"Its not far from your house," he said after the song ended. "I'll park somewhere, you know, not your driveway."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he pulled the car into a makeshift parking space.

I couldn't see any trail, just an indent to the trees which fit the Volvo perfectly. Going to the trunk, Edward pulled out a mini-cooler, a blanket, and a docking station for his Ipod. Cool. The speakers were supposed to give really good output quality. He draped the blanket over his shoulder, wrapped the speakers in a towel before placing them in a mini-cooler, and held his hand out for me to follow all in record speed.

"When the ground gets softer, we'll be there. I'll drop this shit and bring you the rest of the way."

"You mean… carry me?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, no. The house is right there, you said? I can change in five minutes."

"It'll be fun," he insisted. "I want to try something." He looked so… excited. His eyes were blue again, I couldn't help but give in. Fuck everything, I wouldn't be in danger. I followed him through the trees. He consulted his watch every now and then, it probably had a compass. I'd been tracking our progress, but Edward definitely came here often. There was no hesitation to his ambling. It would have made me nervous if there were, I didn't relish the idea of being lost in the woods.

"Here," he set the cooler on the ground. "Climb on."

"You're kidding."

"Nope," he winked looking over his shoulder at me. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Probably in the same hiding place as my modesty and pride..."

He snorted, I walked over to where he was crouching down wanting me to straddle his back. This was absolutely asinine. Seeing another side to Edward, my curiosity had gotten the better of me again. He knocked aside all of my defenses with a sexy smile, a hint of muscle. Speaking of, he was definitely in shape. He didn't stagger once as he straightened with me on his back, clinging to him like a octopus. Adjusting my arms around his neck, he held my legs secure.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just pick me up?"

"No way."

Every now and then he'd lean hard to one side or the other, I think he did it because he liked hearing me yell. He groaned once or twice when my nails dug into his skin, when my legs tightened around his waist. "You really need to fucking eat more," he said suddenly. "You're so fucking light, I can't believe it."

I hid my blush against his neck. We were maybe four minutes in, he was gaining speed. "Edward-"

"Hold on, spider monkey." His shoulders were down and forward, he was nearly running. This wasn't going to end well. What was he planning? I burrowed in, hunched down as much as possible. If he was going to run into a tree, I really didn't want to see it happen. I was with him for good or ill. If that meant a Fir was going to be the cause of my demise- so be it.

His foot slid, my eyes flew open. I felt his knee connect with the ground, my world spun. Next thing I knew, I was on my back with him leaning over me.

"Are you okay? What-"

He was choking, Edward was laughing so hard. Real, honest, head thrown back laughter. I stopped checking us for injuries, my panic subsided. He looked all too pleased with himself. "You did that on purpose."

"Yeah," he wiped his forehead, still snickering. "I haven't done that in a really fucking long time."

"With Alice," I remembered him mentioning her. "You did this with Alice?"

He was still partially on top of me, braced on one forearm, his knee on the ground so that I didn't bear his full weight. It was supremely hot, I shifted unobtrusively to relieve some of the pressure. I blamed adrenaline, fear, and, in my point of view, my body's reaction to surviving an accident.

"Not exactly," he smiled. "I, uh, would let her drop. Couldn't do that to you. I'll be right back." He was up and sprinting away before I had a chance to reply.

'Show me how you did that when you get back?' I texted.

It had taken at least five minutes to get here, I could remember all too vividly the feel of him, smelling his shampoo, having his muscles contract and move under me. Time to get up. I had some time to look around. If I had my toy, I could have released some tension. I wasn't at the point where I needed to carry the bullet around with me for chronic masturbation sessions. Yet.

I was in a meadow. It was absolutely gorgeous. I had lived here for a good portion of my life, yet I hadn't ever discovered this place. It would have been here, the place felt untouched, old. I walked to the perimeter, wild flowers and high-grass came to my knees. I toed the soil outside of the meadow. It was damp. The grass was dark green, light green inside of the rather large circle that made this 'meadow.' I had no other way to describe it. Without trees blocking the sun, no wonder flowers and clover were able to grow. I walked back to the middle, where he'd left me, and knelt back down.

Hunting was allowed in Forks State Forest, I didn't want to think of myself as a deer. I felt isolated, the grass obscured my vision. I didn't smell moss or damp earth, the scent here was sweet, but not itchy- not hay fever worthy.

"Bella?"

Fuck, he was fast. I stood back up, he couldn't see me if I crouched down. I'd have to keep that in mind for a later time. He smiled and threw the blanket, wrapped in a ball, toward me. Charlie would be happy, he'd make a fantastic baseball pitcher. The thought made me giggle as I remembered Dad's words. No, Edward was definitely not playing for another team, he wasn't that sort of pitcher.

I watched as he broke into a run, cooler in his hands. He was so lithe, graceful. Every move was powerful and controlled, concentration evident on his face. Digging his left foot into the moist soil, he turned his body sideways slightly as he hit dry grass. Using momentum and loss of traction, he slid over the ground. Seconds before he would have lost balance, he leaned backwards a little, slowed. Dropping to one knee, he twisted, rolled, caught himself and ended up facing me, not two paces away.

I breathed out sharply, had I been holding my breath the whole time? I was more than a little turned on. There was no way to describe his strength, the mastery over every move. He took his jacket off, spread the blanket on the ground.

"How- I can't believe," I bit my tongue to keep from babbling. "… wow."

"I did it by accident once. You know, I actually didn't mean to fucking land on top of you. Misjudged things a little, you're taller than Alice."

"Uh, still. Really damn impressive."

"Thanks," he used his hoodie as a pillow and patted the space next to him.

"What did you mean when you mentioned dropping Alice?"

"Oh that," he almost looked embarrassed. I found it incredibly endearing, he still managed to look masculine regardless of his almost-bashful expression. Underneath that, I all but felt his challenge to call him on it. He snorted lightly, still self-conscious, and lit a cigarette.

"Uh, I'd do the same thing, you know, the knee drop? Except… I'd kind of, um, throw her..."

I choked on smoke, he clapped me on the back as I laughed. "You what?"

"She was safe," he grinned, "just… tousled. Alice hates that, don't ever wrinkle her. She was younger the first time I brought her here. I carried her, y'know, not on my back. After that, though, I'd manage to convince her I wouldn't, er, fuck with her. She fell for it every time, and she'd come up fighting, picking grass and shit out of her clothes and hair. I couldn't fucking help myself, she was so funny."

I could see it. Nice-Edward carrying Little-Alice into the out-of-place meadow. I could also hear him cajoling her into allowing him to pick her up, again. Knowing that he probably had some trick up his sleeve, she'd agree anyway. Alice would come up hissing and spitting, infuriated, it made me laugh.

I glanced at Edward; the change was astonishing. Stony, stoic, angry Edward was a thing of the past. He was so relaxed around me, joking and laughing, allowing me into his past and trust-zone. It made me feel… not sure what, but they were good-happy emotions.

"Oh," he motioned to the cooler. "I brought food, if you're, uh, hungry?"

"Is this… a date?" Stupid question, yes, but it really was beginning to feel that way. From music, to providing a dinner of sorts, the location; was this his way of trying to… impress me? He had even sort-of admitted that no one but Alice had been here with him. Either he was being really tactful, which I didn't believe because of his no-holds-barred reaction to my surprise, or this was meant to be different from our normal friends-activities.

He leaned over, his back to me, and hooked his Ipod into the speakers. "Do you want it to be?"

I glanced at his ring, still on my thumb. No, I hadn't taken it off yet. I'd forgotten about it before I fell asleep, showered, got dressed. …sure, lying to myself never ended well. "How do you feel about it? What if it were?"

"Does it matter?" He winced, "I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was… we can call it whatever we want, right? Spending time together, dating, whatever the fuck. I'm not interested in anyone else, and I'm not sure about you, but if that's the definition of dating… I guess we are?"

"I'm not," I bit my tongue accidentally.

Oh, there were mango, papaya, and strawberry pieces! They were on ice, I took a piece of fruit and let the cold soothe away the pain. He had taken out some of the containers from within the cooler. He had also brought vanilla pudding, sandwiches, pie. I was being a coward again.

"I'm not interested in anyone else, either," I clarified. "We're going to the dance together… so… this is the third date?"

We might have jumped the gun a little, did a few things in reverse, but everyone knew what the third date signified. With all of this effort, his immense consideration; he deserved to get some. His eyes darkened. The meaning was clear. "Is it?"

"Yup, I think so," I ate some more of the mango. It was nice of him to have remembered. It was my favorite fruit, hands down.

"And what does that mean, exactly?"

Damn him for making me say it. Gentleman Edward was a pain in the ass. I told him so, he looked shocked before he pulled me closer, laughing. "So fucking feisty," he raised his eyebrow, looked down at my skirt. "It drives me fucking crazy that you don't wear… fishnets, stockings, whatever the fuck you call them."

"Y'know? I have this condition- it's the strangest thing," I grinned wickedly, "sometimes, for no reason, I get really hot. I cant just strip down, so I choose not to wear anything unnecessary."

He chewed on his lip ring and shook his head, amused. Without replying, he let his hand drop to my knee. Moving slowly up my leg, he stopped at my inner thigh. I stopped breathing. "Our definitions of 'unnecessary' differ."

"Uh…" My hips bucked as his fingers slid over satin.

"What color today?"

"Huh?" He circled, used his nails lightly. Oh my god.

"Never mind," he smirked. "I'll find out in a second anyway."

He kissed me roughly, quickly, before he parted my legs wider and knelt between them. No one could see us, I reminded myself, the grass concealed all. It ceased to matter as he lifted the front of my skirt, groaned quietly.

"Green," he nipped my hipbone, licked across my tattoo. His hands went to the sides of my thighs... damnit. I knew what he was going to do now.

"Wait, wait a minute," I panted.

"Why?" Edward stopped immediately, looking up at me from below my hip.

"Because-" I blushed not wanting to hold a conversation now.

"Bella?" He shifted so he was on his stomach, head on one elbow. I didn't have to sit up, my head was propped up on his jacket. The view was perfect, I felt a rush of pleasure and I barely stopped my eyes from rolling back. He was staring at me intently waiting for an explanation.

Normally I didn't need to say anything. Of the four guys I'd slept with, only two had enjoyed going down on me. Unfortunately, I hadn't liked any of the times they'd been inclined to do so. The other two were relieved I didn't want it. Of course Edward would want to, he was all about everything related to sex. He had one or two dvd's of porn involving nothing but this.

"I don't... like it."

"You don't know for sure?"

"I, uh, had one or two bad experiences… its not my thing. I'm sure you're, y'know, good, but I'd rather you not... Just in case? Don't want to go through it again if…" Great job, I mentally smacked myself. Bringing up past bed-mates, questioning his masculinity, it wasn't exactly passion-provoking. He might actually be pissed-off. Whoops, huge whoops.

He looked mad, but not as though I'd offended him. "Why-"

"Edward, I don't want to talk about this. Please, can't we just-"

"Nope," he interrupted me, rolling his eyes briefly. "I really want- no, _need_ to know why you won't let me go down on you."

"I know guys like doing it, some of them, but, er… damnit. It doesn't feel good. It actually kinda hurts. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some people enjoy it. The guy, the one who… he was supposed to be really good, I heard…" Time-out, switch tactics. What the fuck was wrong with me? "I've watched porn, I know it's a common thing, but I don't-"

"It doesn't feel good," he inhaled sharply, laughed abruptly.

"I really don't think its _funny_... Weird, maybe, but-"

"No, Bella," he stopped me from getting up. "I'm sorry, I'm not making fun of you. Elaborate, please, I'm really not amused by this at all."

"Oh no?"

"Okay, a little, but its not you. Sorry, I swear, talk to me about it. This isn't weird. You can't tell me you were happy to face death and feel awkward about this."

Wow. I had gotten two 'sorry's' and a 'please' all within the last five seconds. Again with the insane- especially considering we had been about to finally get on with things, and now we were having an in-depth talk about why I didn't like to be on the receiving end of oral sex. I should have started with a blow-job, this wouldn't have been an issue.

"Too much and too fast," I said quickly while I had the nerve. "I liked what we did that day in your living room and everything else. If we could just... We could save time if-"

"Save time," he echoed.

"Its not a big deal," I insisted.

"Yeah, it really is," he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, all the anger was gone.

"I'm not over-exaggerating. It- uh, it hurts me."

"Aches," he replied.

"No, hurts."

I didn't like his new expression. He looked entirely too… knowing. There was no reason for it, I couldn't change the way I felt. I knew one or two other women who shared my sentiments. Their guys were perfectly fine with skipping it. Rosalie gave me that same look, in an entirely different circumstance, when I mentioned it to her. She was a huge fan and had no problem with saying so.

"Let me try," he said suddenly, sucking on my neck. "I'll stop if you don't like it, I promise."

"Edward-"

"I want to taste you, at least once," he ran his fingers under my shirt, found the clasp at the front of my bra. Before I had time to comment, he was undoing my corset, sliding my bra down. "I won't hurt you."

"I know…" My back arched as he took one of my nipples into his mouth. The other he gently rolled between his fingers, I wrapped my legs around his waist very happy that he'd taken a different approach. Yes, this was good. This was fantastic.

"The second you feel… uncomfortable, I'll stop. We'll go back to this, alright?"

Apparently I was wrong. What did it matter? I could protest in a minute and have him the way I wanted. It was fair enough, we didn't ever have to go through this again. "Fine," I sighed. He wanted to this badly, I'd put up with it. Once.

He pulled out his knife, I went still. No, this was okay. I trusted him. It was actually turning me on a little. Edward looked up at me, smiled when he realized I wasn't protesting in the slightest. He cut through the strings that held the pieces of satin together. "I'll buy you new ones," he muttered resting his knife, closed, at my side.

Spreading my legs even more, his hands were light pressure on my thighs. I made myself relax. Experience told me that the more I fought it, the more I felt. His breath was soft, his tongue licked lightly across my skin. It actually felt kinda nice.

And it always did, in the beginning. I tensed preemptively against my will. Any second now… my muscles locked in preparation. Every guy, at this point, would speed up, dig in, so to speak. I had made sure to remain silent, any sound would be taken as encouragement. I' faked an orgasm in the past when I couldn't make myself stand anymore. He had stopped and, if I wasn't too raw, I enjoyed the sex.

With Edward, that wouldn't be a problem. I wanted him, had wanted him for so long, reaching orgasm would be easy. His tongue moved over me, fast, I jolted. I knew it, had called it.

"Relax," he whispered. "It'll be good. I promise, Bella."

I tried to do as he asked, but I was too nervous. How could I try to enjoy this when, in a minute, I'd be jarred by intense pressure and nerve-wracking… it'd be too much. I usually tried to struggle away, to get them to ease up, it never worked. In fact, somehow, it seemed to spur them on.

I did trust Edward, though. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I could always fake it… taking a deep breath, I let go of all my fear and the voice that yelled I was being an idiot, hoping that it'd be different. He continued licking around me without ever touching anything important. It did feel really fucking good. Ache, he had said. Yeah, that about summed things up. He was good, I gave him that. I urged him upwards with my hips, he could be inside of me by now. If he used his hand, a good position, I'd get off in seconds.

He didn't get the hint. His fingers dug into my legs as he got closer. Any moment now… I gasped as his tongue slid slowly over me. Curling, flicking lightly with the stud in his tongue, using his lip piercing as further stimulation; I dug my nails into his arm torn between pushing him away and wanting more.

The electricity was still present, I felt it in his skin. Charged, but not allowing it to spill over onto me, he took his time. Edward didn't push for reactions. He made a circle around where he'd been avoiding, slid the flat of his tongue softly against me.

"What-" I gasped at the slow curl of pleasure that rose with every silken move of his tongue.

"Like it?" I felt the vibration of his words, they tore through me, made me moan aloud.

"Bella?"

"I think… ugh," he interrupted me by moving his hand from around my leg. Close to losing it, I was ready for him to take full advantage of this situation. No more foreplay.

"So fucking wet," he smirked.

My back arched again trying to get him to move. Somehow, anyhow, it didn't matter. He slid a finger inside of me, finally, after having taunted me with light pressure and promise. Lowering his head, he glanced back up at me once. "You think?"

"I'm fine," I panted, writhing, wanting.

"Fine…" He repeated the word, scoffing.

I felt his fucking taste buds. Rough but not painful, he acted like he had all the time in the world. His hand moved with my body, fingers searching. He located my g-spot and pressed gently, testing to see if it was too soon. It wasn't. I cried out, my legs tensed for new reasons as pressure coiled, waiting for release.

"More… please," I heard myself say. It had never felt this fucking wonderful. What was he doing to me? I had no control, couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to. The studs tormented me. They were smooth against the normal feel of his tongue. He seemed to know where I wanted him most and moved to accommodate that. "I'm actually," my tone reflected my surprise. "Oh god... fuck...!"

"Not yet," he grinned, I felt it.

I was close to the edge already, I twisted to gain further contact. Cold air, warm breath. Why the fuck had he stopped? Aching, yes, I understood. Next lesson? … and oh shit! The ball of his tongue ring flickered against me. I couldn't help crying out, raising my hips to meet him. The pressure rose, built; white light, heat.

"Edward…" Oh- oh my _god_. All of it culminated, I fell over the edge saying his name. He held my legs as I bucked, nails digging into the blanket. He took my hands and placed them near his back without diminishing my orgasm. He hummed lightly, I saw flashes of light. Stopping before it became painful, I descended peacefully, boneless. Shivers continued to ripple through me. Rather than making me claw at him to escape, Edward timed soft swirls with his tongue in time to my aftershocks.

"Good?"

I couldn't lift a finger, speaking wasn't happening anytime soon. I nodded at him, smiling, as he rested his head on my stomach. What the fuck had that been? That was what people thought of when it came to oral sex? I had been gypped in the past, no wonder he'd been so all-knowing.

"Want another?" I twitched violently at the thought, laughing. "Okay," he grinned. "Another day."

"Thank you, Edward." I arched my back for him as he sucked small red patches over my chest.

"My new goal is to make you come three times… before we do other things."

He moved up, I shuddered as he slid against me, rough denim against sensitive flesh. I kissed him, tasting myself on his lips. I loved it. He seemed to have enjoyed himself, I'd never experienced anything like it. I felt him, hard, wanting. We were not having a repeat of last time, I wanted him to find release too.

"About those other things," I reached for his belt.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I replied, sure of us, this decision.

"Good," he smiled darkly, anticipatorily. "I'm gonna make you scream."

**Authors Note 4:  
Bunch2009-**  
Thanks for reviewing! As to why they won't date- they both have baggage, haha. Commitment phobic, they have trust issues, though they're slowly working through them. I was happy with this chapter for that reason, actually. They're 'out in the open' now, hooray!  
**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
I love tattoo's with meaning, I'm glad yours has one. Both of mine do, too. I only have two at the moment, about to get three more. I know this chapter was supposed to be about Edward's tattoo's, but it went in a completely new direction. Hopefully this is just as… stimulating as their conversation would have been…  
**Littleangel53126, Allyzon, Bundysarah, B. Martin, Sarix Angel-**  
Thank you, thank you a million times! You're all so awesome, thanks for taking the time to leave you comments! =)!  
**SheWhoDreamsofSilverandGold-  
**Kickass name! Thank you for your amazing compliments!  
**Kitasky123-  
**Sorry, I'll have to find a new link for the wrist tattoo, thanks for mentioning it. Thanks for continuing to stick with the story! I'm glad you like Jasper, especially, he really kinda came out of nowhere, haha.


	17. Leave A Scar

**Chapter 17  
- Leave A Scar**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2: **  
LEMON WARNING. Graphic lemon warning, actually. And- in case you're wondering… no, Bella does not become pregnant in this story. I stand by my characters and their decisions, but I wouldn't recommend their ways for anyone else. Safe sex is key, people, heh.  
**Authors Note 3: **  
Razed in Black and Lords of Acid are my new favorite bands. I liked them when I first heard some of their songs, but not until now did I truly appreciate their sex-power-dominate lyrics. Jesus, they're fucking fantastic. I usually try to mix music genres, while using the lyrics to correlate with the chapter, but… forgive me this Playlist. I also try to keep the music styles fitting the character. Bella's less intense, powerful but not masculine. Edward on the other hand? Well, here we go…

**Playlist**  
**Take Control**- Lords of Acid  
**Erotica**- Razed In Black  
**Rough Sex**- Lords of Acid  
**New Drug**- Thousand Foot Krutch  
**Leave A Scar**- Marilyn Manson

**Edward's Point of View**

I couldn't help but feel pleased with myself. Watching Bella reach orgasm, because of me, was one of the most incredible things I'd ever seen. She completely gave herself over to the feelings, embracing the pleasure without shying away.

My body was raging, demanding satisfaction. I'd never felt such a sense of need and self-control at the same time. Bella was so fucking feisty, so sensual, so… incredible. One of my questions had been answered; I still couldn't believe the inept bastards Bella had been with. It hadn't been the best subject to bring up while I was in the middle of going down on her, but I was actually happy that she was able to talk to me about it.

Truth be told, I had actually doubted myself for a minute. Cycling through all of the things I knew about oral sex, tried or read, I finally found a few things that had worked. I hadn't wanted to admit defeat, but for awhile I was afraid she truly wouldn't be able to relax enough for my efforts to have any effect. She had been so damn tense, whomever had introduced her to oral pleasure- or pain, from her point of view, really needed to be shot. I hated the way she flinched away from me, as though I'd actually purposefully hurt her. And, finally seeing the absolute wonder on her face, seeing contentment, gratitude, and passion in her eyes... All she had to do was say yes and I'd happily take her over the edge again. She was coming down now, hazy and sated, she traced the tattoo's on my arms.

I loved that she liked sex itself, and oral gratification now. She wasn't shy or prudish. Bella didn't try to manipulate me by withholding favors. I settled myself over her smiling to myself as she cried out again as I rubbed against her. My back would carry her scars for the next few days. I fucking loved the electric fiery pain, she had dug her nails into my skin as she came.

This wasn't exactly the most romantic of places. A meadow? It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. I wanted to share something personal with her, and Alice's comments had led me to believe I wasn't living up to my almost-boyfriend status. Was Bella bored with smoking, lying around, talking all the time? Of course. She seemed very action-oriented. We had gotten the 'getting to know you' part out of the way. Time to up my game. It led us here, in this current situation, which I had been waiting for for-fucking-ever, but… I couldn't just fall on her like some starved maniac.

"Yeah," she replied, willing and ready.

"Good," I knew she had wanted this from the beginning. No 'wasting time' as she had put it. Jesus. I wanted this to be good for her. More than good, more than fine, better than adequate. "I'm gonna make you scream."

That's what I wanted. She shivered, hell yes, perfect reaction. I quickly stripped my shirt, pants. Again, I wished for a camera. I had divested Bella of her corset. She was still wearing her skirt and heels, but I was more than okay with that. Okay, maybe not the skirt. I watched as she raised her hips, unzipped, unbuckled. Unlike in my bedroom, she wasn't self-conscious at all now. Her mind was focused on one thing, it was really fucking refreshing. She grinned, waiting for me.

I braced my weight on my forearms and kissed her. Fuck it, I didn't want this to be some quick, rushed thing. She sighed softly tasting like real mango, so much better than her usual lip-gloss. It should have surprised me, but I was learning more about her every day. She didn't care that I had just gone down on her, she licked across my lips and met my tongue with hers.

Wrapping her legs around my waist, she curled herself around me. I was surrounded by her; the way she smelled, tasted. Warm and wet against me, moving her hips impatiently, she made me fucking growl. Taking the lead, she bit into my neck. Hard.

"Again," I heard myself say.

"Mm," she obliged. Pain lanced through me, ran down my spine. Fuck yes. She was frustrated, wanting more, as did I. My body was her outlet, hers was mine. She left imprints of her teeth along my neck and chest, raked her nails across my ribs. Yes... I had to stop her as she shifted, pushing me backwards. Self-controlled or not, if she took me into her mouth I wouldn't last very long.

"I'm on the pill, its not necessary," she whispered as I reached into my pocket.

"Precaution…"

"Next time," she pleaded. "I want to feel you, been waiting so long…"

The sun had heated her skin, she was hot to the touch, gasping each time I moved against her. She brought me closer, ran her hands through my hair, lowered my mouth to her chest. I really couldn't argue.

"Edward," she groaned.

Slow, I warned myself. She was so tight, I had barely been able to get three fingers inside of her. Gritting my teeth, I brought her hips up to meet mine. My eyes rolled back as I pushed into her, so motherfucking tight. Not even halfway in, I felt her nails again. Her eyes were closed, the blush moved down to her chest. She was trembling. I wasn't hurting her despite the resistance, I worked with her body rather than just plunging into her. God, I really fucking wanted to, but I couldn't take the chance that it might cause her pain.

"Oh god," I heard her whimper.

"Ok?"

"Yes," she opened her eyes. So dark, aroused, nearly lethal, "Yes… please." God, every time she said 'please.' I loved it, loved hearing my name. Bruising, scratching, biting, Bella loved it all. "Stop holding back," she growled.

Ok. I flipped our positions, let her ride me. She could set the pace, find her pleasure, and then I'd take back over. No hesitation on her part, Bella threw her head back as she rested her hands on my chest. She felt- no words could describe.

Rocking her hips, she took me in all the way. Using her knees for leverage, she lifted herself so that the head of my cock brushed against her g-spot. Fuck yes, she knew what she was doing. Back down, I felt every inch slide into her. God, I grabbed her hips as she hesitated. She knew what she wanted, I knew what she wanted. The illusion of control, I had it despite her being on top.

I lifted my hips so that her clit brushed against my pubic bone. She bit her lip; up, back down, her back arched, she leaned forward and moaned. I felt her clenching around me, though I knew she wasn't anywhere near close yet.

"Bella-" I sat up so she was sitting in my lap. I was able to get so much deeper, Jesus fuck. I took one of her nipples into my mouth. Rolling the other between my fingers, I heard her cry out. Her nails cut into my shoulders, she rocked her hips loving the onslaught of sensations. My control was slipping, every time she jolted with pleasure, she tightened around me. Driving me mad, insane-

"Switch," she begged.

"On your knees," I said against her neck. Immediately complying, I thrust into her, hard.

"More..." I took her waist, pulled her back as I entered her again. Oh yea, she liked this a lot. So did I. Fast in, slowly moving out of her, she lowered her upper body so that her chest was nearly flat against the blanket. No holding back, I made sure to hit her g-spot with every twist of my hips.

"God, fuck, close…" she moaned. I restrained myself from grabbing her hair at the nape of her neck. I didn't know if she liked it that rough. Instead, I spread my knees wider, pressed down on her back. She fisted her hands into the blanket beneath us and shuddered. I felt rhythmic spasms begin deep inside of her, I timed my thrusting to them.

"Edward-" Her voice was full of the same wonder as before, I could barely hear her. Ecstasy, the best kind of torture, I focused completely on her and pushed my own release back. I pulled out of her, she looked over her shoulder at me, lips red. Faster than I thought possible, I was on top of her again, moving softly as she came down and started to build again. Her legs were down, braced against the ground.

Bella was multi-orgasmic. Fuck yes, she was. Her body pulled me in, god, I was close to the edge, too. I felt the pressure coil in my stomach, my cock throbbed within her. I bit into her neck and she went wild. Pleasurable pain was a wonderful thing, I was more than happy to oblige. Nearly fucking me, she raised her body sinuously each time I slid into her. Down to the base of my cock, she dragged me under.

"Bella, fuck…" So close, if she didn't find release soon…

"Harder," I heard her say. No fucking way. "Please," she added, desperately.

Bella Swan was going to kill me. Adjusting again, I raised her legs so her ankles rested on my shoulders. Her back flat against the ground, heels digging sharply into my skin, I plunged into her once, twice. The third time, she panted, her eyes meeting mine.

I felt pain run down my arms. She screamed my name. Bucking against me, Bella writhed as she came. So fucking incredibly tight, I couldn't breathe. I ceased to exist. Was she done? I thought so... I tried to hold on for a few more seconds. Nonsense ran through my head; baseball, mice, anything to buy some time… her skin was flushed, my arms burned due to her scratches and added to the pleasure I was trying to contain.

I barely pulled out of her in time. She reached down, moved my hand out of the way, and wrapped her fingers around my cock. Release roared through me; my back arched, my eyes rolled back. No fighting it, I was shaken to the core. There was enough of me left to prevent myself from falling on top of her. I rolled to the side, facing her, and pulled her closer. I wanted her near me. To see her, smell her, I could still taste her…

"Shit," I buried my face in her hair as she wrapped her arms and legs around me, seemingly satisfied. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Her voice was hoarse, I wiped a line of blood from her lip. I could remember seeing her biting her lips as she came. Fuck, I didn't want her to be hurting that way, although there wasn't much I could do about that. I hadn't exactly gone easy on her.

"You only came twice."

"Three times," she smiled.

Not exactly a record, but better than twice…? "Satisfied?"

"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for that?"

"Same," I laughed, made myself sit up. Grabbing a shirt, I wiped her stomach and thighs. My hands were still shaking, I felt, well, spent. Once all traces of my release were taken care of, I threw my shirt to the side. What to do now? … cigarette time? Bella wasn't having that, she all but tackled me to the ground again. Sitting on top of me she raised an eyebrow.

"Again?" I asked, stunned.

"No," she blushed, "I just don't want you to move yet."

"Not a problem," I wrapped my arms around her, held her close as she burrowed closer. She was fantastic, amazing, even descending from her second orgasm, she had helped me finish mine.

Her skin was so pale, I seemed tan in comparison. I ran my hands up and down her back. So smooth, her hair, too, was like silk. I kissed her again, careful not to nip or bite. She sucked at my lip-ring before resting her head back on my chest.

"You're incredible. I don't know how else-"

"So are you," she grinned taking my nipple piercing into her mouth. I felt my cock twitch and shifted a little hoping that she wouldn't notice. "Already?"

Whoops. "Yeah, uh, you are on top of me."

"Want me to move?"

"Nope."

"Okay," she leaned up, reached for my jacket. All of her weight rested on my lap; I had a graphic mental reminder of the way she had looked riding me before… oh, she wanted a cigarette, too. She handed me one, wrapped herself partly in the blanket so that we were covered. I wanted to unwrap her, enjoy the sunlight playing through her hair, across her body.

"Did you, er, enjoy yourself?" Bella wanted to know.

"You have to ask?"

"Its been awhile for me, just wanted to be sure," she smiled.

"Be more than sure," I licked across her pulse and felt her shiver. "And what about you?"

"You've nothing to be sorry for. I, er, can't again so soon, though. Like I said… its been a good while since I last…"

As she shifted, each time she moved even slightly- "Bella, I'm not going anywhere, I've got to put pants on, though."

She didn't seem to understand, I looked to where she was sitting and she flushed again. Ready for a repeat performance, I was again fully hard. I groaned watching the pink color spread across her face, down her neck, below the edge of the blanket obscuring my view of her chest. Why was she putting out her cigarette? Not the right brand? I could have sworn I bought the right kind. Did she think I'd take her again after she had said no?

"I didn't mean…" the rest of my statement died as she sat up, stretched. The blanket fell. With her arms over her head, the best smile I'd seen from her yet, she rocked her hips against mine lightly. She slid down gracefully, her hair leaving trails of fire across my arms, chest.

She wasn't, surely not.

She did. Her mouth closed over me, she looked up, eyes bright and mischievous. Oh my christ.

**o . o . o**

It was dark now. We had moved from the meadow to her bedroom. It was only six at night, we had another good two hours before her father would be home, before I was expected home. Carlisle and Esme didn't really enforce a curfew. With everything Alice and I had seen, we couldn't find any trouble in Forks if we'd tried. I wouldn't have done that to them. Carlisle didn't need me causing problems for him, especially not with his position within the hospital. There were fights that tried to find me, but for the most part I ignored them.

They knew I smoked, probably knew I smoked up, but they hadn't commented on anything Alice and I chose to do. Strange thing was, they didn't need to. If I had caught the slightest hint of apprehension from either of them, whatever it was that caused them distress would stop immediately. I respected the freedom they offered and tried not to push the boundaries they'd set.

Bella's room wasn't like anything I had expected. Some of the posters on her walls matched mine. We definitely had similar tastes in music. I had looked over the songs she'd proposed for the upcoming dance, all of them fit Alice's theme.

Speaking of, she moved her hips to the current song as I looked around her room. My books were carefully stacked on her desk. I couldn't see my clothes anywhere, but I had no intention of taking them back. Never had. She was still wearing my ring, I noted. The sight didn't make me panic. Her marks were all over my body. My arms and back carried her scratches, my chest was bruised with the imprint of her teeth.

"_When I think about love, I don't think about candle lights_," she smirked, amused, looking over at me.

"_Red roses, wedding bells, moonlight serenades, warm summer nights_," I spoke along with the next line.

_"I think about pure sex, _deep_ sex, _hard_ sex, _rough_ sex." _She was really fucking… cute. I needed to find a better word, she'd castrate me if I ever said it aloud. Maybe not anymore, I saw her head thrown back, the graceful line of her throat exposed as she… no more thoughts like that.

Bella had definitely been to raves before. I could see her dancing in the dark with glow-sticks, thrashing around in a mosh-pit. I'd have to take her to a concert one of these days. She could definitely hold her own against the aggressive metal-heads. Not to mention, the sex after- and in a dark corner while we were there- would be fucking insane.

The song had ended, she faced me, somber all of a sudden. Uh-oh. "Were you serious about the dance?"

"On Friday?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"What about it?" Did she not want to go anymore? That'd really surprise the hell out of me. I knew she hadn't faked anything, at least I was pretty fucking sure of that fact. Some things couldn't be faked. I would have known. I definitely would have known, I pushed my doubt to the side. If there was any one thing I was good at, sex was it. If I had failed at that, well, I'd fucking end it now. Where the fuck would that leave me?

"You, uh, asked if I wanted to go, remember?"

"Yes…"

"Did you mean it?"

"Why is that a question?" There was no anger in my tone, just curiosity. Why would she think I had changed my mind? _Because you're a playboy ass and rumor probably reached her. Why would she think you'd honor the commitment? _Well, ok, valid point. I had meant it, every word. Had that not been conveyed?

"I don't know," she shrugged noncommittally. I wasn't buying it, she was no longer meeting my eyes. She cared. Hell, _I_ fucking cared.

"Bella?"

"Well, _they_ were there. I thought maybe you asked me so they wouldn't bother you."

"I-"

"It was incredibly kind of you, to ask with Lauren and Jessica within hearing range. That went above and beyond your promise to watch out for me especially since you've had relations with them."

"Relations? No. I've only fucked Jessica. Once," I had to emphasize that last word. "Lauren and I never hooked up."

"I figured that," she rolled her eyes.

She thought I had asked her to the dance because Mallory and Stanley were present? What the fuck? I hadn't even really taken notice of their presence. They were irritating, they would always be irritating. None of them had crossed my mind since Bella walked into Petry's classroom.

"Bella," I stood, took her shoulders so she'd stop pacing, "I asked you because I didn't want to ask anyone else. Anyone will tell you, I don't take dates to those things. I asked because it's what a guy does when there's a dance and a chick who looks fantastic dancing."

"Oh," she didn't chew her lip, though she still wasn't looking at me.

I was an asshole. Going back over the words in my mind… yea, they sounded really wrong.

"No, look at me," I raised her chin so she would stop shutting down. She looked somewhere over my right shoulder. Fuck. "I didn't mean it that way, you know I'm a bastard. I- I didn't ask because of appearances or because you make me look good. I asked because I wanted you to say yes."

"Honestly?"

"One hundred fucking percent. Does your 'yes' still stand?"

"Of course." Finally, her deep brown eyes met mine. She kept me off-balance, my assuming she understood didn't always work now. We were beyond friends. Some things needed to be confirmed. Normal people knew that, I mentally smacked myself.

"I didn't mean to make it a huge deal or anything." She crossed her arms, looking uncomfortable.

"Isn't it?" To me, it kind of was. Bella may have extensive dating experience, I, on the other hand did not. Once she slammed the door on me, I knew that she was different. No one, aside from the assholes of my childhood, had ever taken such a stand against me. From her, and only her, I liked it. She raised the stakes, upped the challenge.

"It is?"

"No?" Okay, I was beyond confused. Longer, more detailed sentences would be welcome. I took full responsibility for this fuckery, too.

"Before we lose track of what we're talking about, I just want to say that this is-"

"More awkward than it should be?" Bella laughed.

"Agreed." Old habits die hard. The tension, however, eased marginally. Bella looked more sure of herself, I was glad of that. "Three dates, you said? Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't really know they were occurring…"

"Me either," she smiled, relieved. "I was thinking about it this afternoon and came to the same conclusion. Not so bad, right?"

"Not at all," I grinned back at her. "Friday makes the fourth, then?"

"Yep," she sighed. "I'm not really counting. We went official today, anyway."

"Oh?" I groaned, restated, "Mind me asking- how did that happen?"

We? There was a we? I waited for the panic to settle in. It didn't. In spite of this conversation, I was still really fucking relaxed. Whatever happened would happen; this may not be the best idea, as Bella had said a few days ago, but it was too late to turn back now.

"You asked me out, remember? And you mentioned that we'd been spending time together, alone, in front of the three people most prone to spreading rumors. Malicious ones, probably, this time."

"Does it bother you? Will it bother you?" I could put an end to the rumors really fucking quickly. Mallory, Stanley, none of the girls at FHS compared to Bella. I knew that they could be vicious, I'd been on the receiving end of their wrath on more than one occasion. They could say whatever they wanted about me, but if Bella were uncomfortable or hurt by their slanderous comments, I'd stop them.

"No," she shrugged. "If everything people said about me left an impact, I'd never leave the house. I ignore it for the most part. They're just jealous this time."

"Envious," I replied without thinking.

"Did you just-"

Shit. "I-"

"You really just corrected me?" She was smiling about it, but that didn't mean anything.

"Uh, no…"

"Both words apply, you know."

"They do," I agreed hastily. Bella wasn't exactly pissed, she looked more amused than anything. I had seen her angry, it wasn't pleasant. While I could handle what might happen if this conversation continued, I really didn't want to get into a fight over definitions.

"Hang on," she paused. "I think you're right."

I was right, but I refrained from saying so. Experience with Alice and Esme had taught me that women were always fucking right. I didn't often abide by that rule, though Bella was taking my massive fuck-up well. We still had time to kill, she had gone through all of my books... I moved to her bookcase and perused the many volumes that were crammed onto the shelves. She came to stand next to me, took one of the books out, and started flipping through pages. So intellectual, I was looking forward to seeing her reaction. She'd either flip out, insist she were right, or she'd ignore it. Taking the book to her bed, she lay down on her stomach and looked at me over the cover.

"Feel free to borrow anything you want. You have a lot of them, but- oh! Thompson's 'Proud Highway' and 'Fear and Loathing in America.' You've got to read those. They're fantastic."

"Have you read 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?'"

"Yup, that's the first book I ever read written by him. The others followed. Those are a little difficult to get through because they're nothing but letters he wrote, but… you'll see."

I located the books she had indicated and stacked them on her desk near mine. They were definitely interesting, I sat on the edge of her bed and looked through the books stacked near her bed. One romance, about a vampire from the looks of it. 'Fight Club,' two textbooks that weren't from Forks High, they weren't arranged in any particular order.

"I stand corrected." She said finally, quoting: "'The word jealousy is often used as if it were synonymous with envy; but I think the distinction worth preserving. Jealousy is predominantly concerned with the fear of loss of something one possesses, envy with the wish to own something another possesses.' Anthony Storr."

"Who? I've never heard of him."

"In one of my psychology classes, I wrote a thesis based on his studies of depression, sexual deviation, the individual's need for solitude and creativity. You should research him, you'd probably find his works worthwhile. He was bullied as a kid, but he later learned that he could gain respect by listening and helping others with their problems. Music was a source of comfort for him during his bouts of depression, crappy school environments, home life…"

"And you could relate," I understood. Her passion for the things she cared about was astounding. I, too, felt deeply about authors and musicians that left an impact on my life, but I doubted I'd ever looked so… excited. Her eyes were bright, her face flushed with pleasure due to the topic.

"Not entirely," she winced again as she chewed her lip. "If I go to college, I'll probably major in Psychology. I like studying people."

Bouts of depression, a crappy home life, taking refuge in music. I put all of the pieces together and formed my own conclusions. I remembered Bella's tattoo's, the one of her dog. She hadn't many friends, by studying others she could be part of their lives without actually needing friendship. No wonder she was so good at reading people, understanding without needing an explanation.

"_If_ you go to college? You aren't sure?"

"No," she sighed. "It feels as though I just got here, to Forks. Most of the colleges I applied to were near, or around Phoenix. I really don't want to go back there, so I'll either need to pick one and rent an apartment, look into online schooling, or wait a semester and apply to places around here. What about you?"

"I, uh, don't really know yet. I've applied to a few places, but I don't have any real plans. If I do it'll probably be within the medical field. If I get a job, you know, take that route? I'll look into bartending, being a bouncer or security guard-"

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"You're too intelligent for those jobs. I mean, you're strong enough that it wouldn't be a problem, but…" she closed the book, rested her head on her arms. "I'm not judging or anything, whatever you choose to do, I'm sure you'll be fine. You don't think you'll be bored?"

"Not really," I accepted a cigarette from her. "We're not going to incur the wrath of Charlie? Er, Chief Swan?"

"Charlie's fine," she exhaled slowly. "And no, he doesn't mind. I have to re-paint everything if I move out, but its worth it. The house could use it, anyway. I don't think he's changed anything since… well, not in a long time."

"Talk to Alice if you're looking into redecorating. She loves things like that."

"I will," she nodded. "Thanks."

"Uh, no problem."

Her formality was still strange to me. It made me feel… like an ass, actually. Here I was using a curse after every other word while Bella went around saying 'please' and 'thank you.' No wonder she had commented on Jasper's manners. The roughest word I'd heard from him had been 'damn.'

"We digressed. You were right," she laughed self-consciously.

Silence was key here. Agreeing would make me seem pompous and there was no point in refuting her statement. Having to actually monitor what I said was exhausting. I hadn't really spoken much before Bella's attempts at engaging me in conversation. I wasn't the chattiest person on the planet, yet I was trying. I still had a lot of work to do, but it was easier, for the most part, now that I had a chance to improve.

I wasn't even trying to better myself for Bella's benefit. She didn't take offense easily, I'm sure she wouldn't have cared if I didn't change, though she seemed to appreciate actual responses. The fact that she wasn't upset, wasn't arguing or holding any grudges really fucking stunned me. I had been prepared for resentment, but aside from turning a light shade of pink as she researched the differences between the words, she had long since moved on. It wasn't arrogance, she hadn't insisted that she were right. She knew exactly which book to choose. Research for curiosity's sake, I really fucking appreciated that.

"I tried to avoid your tattoo's," she was looking at my arms.

Deep red scratches ran along my skin, I had to smile. Great fucking memories were associated with them, I really hoped they never faded. I needed a few scars with good meanings behind them. One of the marks ran over part of my Reaper, but I couldn't bring myself to care. That one wasn't deep, it wouldn't bother me. I'd have it fixed up sometime in the future if scar tissue formed. Maybe.

"Speaking of…" she hinted suggestively.

"Now?" Emotional damn roller-coasters, I wasn't sure if now was the right time to go into detail about my ink.

"Do you have anything else planned?"

"No…"

"No time like the present, right?" She shifted, sitting cross-legged. Her skirt rose slightly as she moved.

I must have imagined it. "Uh, can you lift your shirt for a minute?"

"You didn't notice them before?"

"You knew?" Goddamnit! "You knew they were there?"

"They're kind of hard to miss," she replied factually.

What the fucking… Jesus christ! Her skin was bruised in so many places; purple, yellow in spots, I could nearly see the imprint of my hands. I moved her skirt to the side. Sure enough, her thighs, too, had impressions that matched where my hands had been.

Her neck I had marked intentionally, she had reciprocated. This, however… it looked like I had fucking _mauled_ her. I felt sick. Not even Stanley, who liked it rougher than normal, had left with this much damage. I didn't give a fuck about Jessica or any other girl I had slept with. I did, however, really fucking… care about Bella. This was how I had decided to show it?

"I am _so_ motherfucking sorry." I ran my fingers over purplish-yellowy green discolorations. Someone should shoot me. I couldn't believe I had done this to her. These weren't good hard-sex marks. If she went to the emergency room and complained of abuse, no one would argue.

I moved her hair to the side and exposed her neck. The hickey was fine, neither she nor I had any complaints about it. Faint yellow spots lay at the base of her throat; when the fuck had I done that? Her chest, I wanted to look away but couldn't. She hadn't put her bra back on. Why? Was the bruise across her left breast too fucking painful to cover?

Her arms weren't bad at all, though I saw she had a good number of small white scars. They weren't even, I knew Bella had never attempted self-mutilation. No, these were old knife wounds. Past battle-scars dotted her flesh. As though she hadn't faced enough fucking pain in her life, I went ahead and added to them.

Her ribs and hips held the darkest remnants of what I had done to her. She was a walking fucking bruise. Her legs, more old scars, some on her torso; the fact that I could see my fucking handprints was seriously flipping me the fuck out.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" My voice was hoarse, strangled.

"I like them," she grinned.

**Authors Note:  
**I figured here was as good a place as any to conclude this chapter. I want the rest to be in Bella's point of view. Edward isn't pansying out, promise. I know he's a little less edgy than when this story began, but I'm not really worried yet. I just assume things will work themselves out… For a guy who never contemplated a relationship, let alone serious physical commitment, he's trying to be so many different people. Though he's not necessarily trying to please Bella, he knows that old behavior is no longer acceptable. She's not normal, he sees her as better than the rest and, therefore, wants… I have no idea, haha. Enough analysis, I'm going to confuse myself.

**Authors Note:  
AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Haha, hell yes, neither would I. =P. I tried, possibly failed, to incorporate the fact that Edward's talent, in the books and movie, lay in speed. Small tidbit, but anywhere I can get a reference in, I'll take it. Yes, I like my Edward, but I want there to be _some_ similarities, y'know? **  
JAllyzon-**  
Yeah, I know. Girls like that irritate me, too. I'm glad you enjoyed the mini-lemon! And I, too, am glad that Bella enjoys Edward's… talents. It'll make for fun writing later on now that the initial introduction is done with!**  
AngelaSampedro99-  
**Oh my god, Angela! You rock my world! So many reviews, thanks so very much! I had similar experiences with the issue in chapter 16 so, yea, my sympathies, haha. I had to mention porn. What guy, at that age, doesn't have a hard drive full of it? =P  
I'm so happy that you like Edward and Alice, more of their past will be developed, I have most of it planned out as it is. I'll take your suggestion about Charlie into consideration, it'd be a nice twist! I'm not sure if Rosalie will be returning, I think so because I'd really like to see more of her; I think there are unanswered questions when it comes to Bella's past. I haven't thought that far into the future, hmmm… wheels are turning. =D I'm really glad you like the music, too. I wouldn't get through the day without my Ipod, it rules my life, haha. Thank you again, you made my day! **  
Littleangel53126, B. Martin, BK, Tina062093-  
**You guys are awesome! Thanks for taking the time to leave comments!  
**SaraLynnDarling-  
**Haha, I'll definitely be explaining why Edward had to strip, and I'll have him remove more clothing soon, too! Mmm, lemons. Bella's wrist tattoo- the spade symbolizes death. Since Bella has had some near-death experiences, I had the tattoo reflect that she isn't afraid of death. And having it right over her pulse would speak for itself, I hoped. ^_^  
**IvyLane-  
**My apologies for the frustration brought by your computer! I've lost reviews and chapters, too, due to my animals stepping on the power-strip. Hurts every time, haha. I won't change anything, no worries, =) Thank you for the compliments, Ivy!

And, as always, if I missed anyone- I'm sorry! Leave a note or message me, I'll fix things immediately. =/ Thank you, also, to all the new people who have added me to their Story Alerts, Author Alerts, etc!


	18. She's Not Innocent

**Chapter 18  
- She's Not Innocent**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2: **  
I'm sorry it took so long for me to update! I was in PA for Easter with my parents. I lost four or five pages due to their really, really old computer and I didn't have time to rewrite until now. My apologies!

**Bella's Outfit- **  
http:/shop(dot)vendio(dot)com/LIVINGDREAMS101/item/952421076/?s=1270799762  
**Bella's Shoes-  
**www(dot)mad4shoes(dot)com/images/Fun/arena-1020-w(dot)jpg**  
Alice-**  
http:/www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/cgi/img-thing?(dot)out=jpg&size=l&tid=8173884  
**Edward-**  
http:/2(dot)bp(dot)blogspot(dot)com/_Fr5jtSt05Hg/Sk1-Hipo71I/AAAAAAAACdY/E6x6Zw27tFM/s400/Robert_Pattinson(dot)jpg  
and  
**Edward's Motocycle-**  
http:/www(dot)doble(dot)co(dot)uk/images/newbikes/highResImages/1343/08/3.2_Honda_CBF600S_Motorcycle_Black(dot)jpg  
(If anyone knows more about this subject than I, feel free to send pictures or further information. I'll update!)  
**Jasper-**  
http:/2(dot)bp(dot)blogspot(dot)com/_ssSucj5s0mM/SYDr_oCx8PI/AAAAAAAAHME/6FTU4tk_0OE/s400/Jackson+3(dot)jpg  
(Imagine his vest the color of Alice's dress instead of green…)

**Playlist**  
**She's Not Innocent**- Antigone Rising  
**Pick U Up**- Adam Lambert  
(Alright, I have to admit. I love his music. For Your Entertainment… I've watched the AMA performance and the music video WAY too many times. He's so sexual, talented- I see the 'spark' of passion in him and I love it. I don't know how to explain, some people make me take notice, I appreciate them more for their talent than how they look... Lambert has nothing to worry about, and he's gay/bi-curious, to boot, haha.)  
**Poker Face**- Lady Gaga  
**As the Rush Comes**- Motorcycle  
**Just Dance**- Lady Gaga

**Bella's Point of View**

His eyes hadn't left my body. He touched the marks hesitantly, shocked they existed. I had felt them forming in the meadow, I was truly surprised he hadn't noticed. Edward was usually a lot more perceptive than this. Sex with him was different from anything I had experienced. He was so passionate, primal; I thought I had a handle on giving pleasure. Nope. I didn't stand a chance against him. Luckily, I was still on his side. There was no competition.

"You _like_ them?" I hated seeing him this way. He was so withdrawn, distant. I could feel waves of self-loathing and disgust emanating from him. He touched me reverently as though I were fragile. I wasn't objecting to his touch, but the guilt he clearly felt was tearing me apart. "So many," I heard him mutter. "None of them…"

I thought he was referencing the bruises. The way he had said 'them.' I wondered what his past bedmates had to do with anything. Oh, he hadn't caused such physical proof with any other girl. I felt a strange surge of pride.

"Sex wasn't good with… them?"

"No," he said. Blinking, he focused on my voice rather than my flesh. "Sex good, what?"

"Why are you upset?"

"_I'm _upset? Why aren't _you_ kicking my ass?"

"I told you. I like them."

"I like pain, too," he glared at my hips. "This is a little extreme, don't you think?"

"Ok, so maybe they've not been this dark before but…" I ducked my head to hold his eyes as he angrily looked away. "… but no one's ever made me come three times in a row."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed heavily. "I'll make that up to you. I don't usually lose, uh, control so fast." Why did he sound so apologetic? I had meant it as an enthusiastic 'good job!' Had my tone not conveyed that?

"Um, no, you're misunderstanding me. Think about it."

"Bella," he looked chagrined, "if you weren't hurting, I'd prove it to you right now."

"Still on the wrong track."

"… I really don't fucking understand."

"I have no complaints. I enjoyed it, I loved it. If my dad wasn't going to be home in an hour, I'd want a repeat. Not because I need you to prove anything, but because I want more."

He studied my face carefully, "You're serious."

"As hell," I nodded.

"Just like it happened? No regrets, nothing you would change if you could?"

"I… regret missing out on oral sex for the past few years of my life. I really wish we'd gotten to what we did sooner. Other than that? I want it just like that, again. Soon."

He let out a long, shuddering breath and ran a hand through his hair. All of his anger, frustration, and revulsion was expelled in that sigh. "Metal handcuffs, huh?"

"Now you're getting it," I smiled approvingly.

"Alright," he allowed my skirt to fall. I could see that he was still trying to wrap his mind around what I'd said. It was slowly dawning… yup, there we go… there we go. Dark jade, his eyes were so intense I felt my body jolt to life. Yes, that's what I had wanted.

"I could actually take it a little rougher than… y'know? You were holding back, I could tell."

"Well, fuck," he- I don't know what sound he made. Scoffing in surprise? Disbelief? "You want me to break a few bones? Add a little bloodshed?"

"No to the first. In the right circumstances, yes to the second."

"No fucking way."

"I bruise easily. It looks worse than it is. Ask anyone in Phoenix, I looked beat to hell after a mild fight. Its because I'm so pale, every imperfection shows." I hadn't lied. The bruise on my wrist from the bathroom incident had been terrible. It should have been the result of a two-hundred pound wrestler, not a sixteen year old, anemic girl bent on revenge.

"There are no imperfections," he raised his eyebrow as if daring me to contradict him. "And what about after a major fight?"

"I looked worse," I laughed.

He briefly glanced at me again before schooling his expression. I noticed him doing that a lot lately. Never was anger or irritation directed at me. At the situation, yes. Toward himself, most of the time, but never because of me.

"Let me see your back?"

"Uh, ok…" he stripped his replacement shirt off and turned on the bed.

"Wow," I ran my fingers over the deep scratches on his flesh. I had done that? They were so red, I had made him bleed a few times. Across his toned shoulders, near his ribs from when I'd been on my back.

"How good?" I smiled at his satisfied tone.

"I broke skin in more than one or two places. I missed the majority of your tattoo, at least. Not the tribal here," I traced a circle on his right shoulder. "Sorry, I'll pay if you need to get it fixed."

"So fucking worth it," I heard him smile. "Don't worry about it in the future."

"Er, fuck that. You have plenty of uncovered space. I'll take advantage of those places instead." I saw goosebumps rise along his body. He had purposefully moved my hands as I came so I'd claw him instead of the blanket. It had been my nails down his back that helped him achieve release. "Masochistic much?"

"What about you? 'I could take it rougher,'" he repeated me from earlier.

"You wanted the truth," I insisted. "Besides, how are the marks I left on you okay, but the ones you inflicted on me are a big deal?"

"I don't know," he dropped his cigarette into my make-shift ashtray. It was a soda can, but I had left a little liquid at the bottom so the filter wouldn't burn through the aluminum. "They just… were."

Good! Past tense! It didn't bother him as much anymore? For all of Edward's… badass-isity, he really was extremely considerate. He was so ready to take blame onto himself. He didn't have many people that he cared about, but those he did? I knew Edward would protect them, and me, with his life.

It was a terrifying notion. I didn't want anyone to die for me. If it came down to that, I'd be the one dying for someone I loved. It may have been a double standard, but it was one I'd stick to. I didn't have the strength to try and survive if someone I cared about died. My list of trusted people was pretty small.

"So there aren't any problems then. Neither of us needs to hold back."

He hesitated, "You fucking tell me if I hurt you in a bad way. Promise me."

I felt myself falling for him more everyday. We were officially dating, and now that things had become physical- it would be that much more difficult to keep from losing myself completely. The thought frightened me, but anticipation was my dominant emotion.

I'd slept with people impersonally, nothing changed between us. It wasn't, wouldn't be, that way with Edward. Everything had changed. He was treating me like, well, like a girlfriend. Unlike Alice and Jasper with their hand-holding and romantic kissing; Edward had become more protective. Kissing him was all-consuming, drugging. I couldn't get enough.

"I don't want this to become all about sex."

"I doubt that'll be a problem," he laughed. "You just spent twenty minutes finding and quoting the difference between envy and jealousy."

"Yeah, okay," I flushed. "Good point."

"Oh," he turned back around, reached into his pocket. "For you." He handed me the knife he'd given me at the hospital. I didn't understand. Why was he giving me his weapon? Oh. Right. The reason wasn't lost on me. I had his shirt, two of them now. His jacket, ring, shorts, belt; this was the last piece.

"Alice said this has sentimental value for you. I can't take it."

"Did she explain?"

"No, she wasn't clear on why. She only knows that it does."

"I didn't think she did," he wrapped my fingers around the warm metal.

"_I_ didn't mean to pry. I just wanted to let you know why…"

"I know," he interrupted gently. "Take it, I've got others."

He really wanted me to have it. I had no choice. Edward was so good at this whole… boyfriend, dating thing. He seemed to know the right things to say, most of the time, the right things to do. I, on the other hand, had absolutely no clue. I was blathering my way through everything. Could he tell? He didn't seem to.

"I, uh, I've got to change before Charlie gets home."

"Go ahead," he reclined on my bed with his arms beneath his head. It was an arrogant position, but I knew he hadn't meant it to be. He made me feel sexy, wanted. Needed. I was no longer a bumbling teenager with balance issues and readable expressions. Edward, however, seemed to see through the façade I'd developed thanks to Rosalie's training. It was off-setting and fantastic at the same time. The things I'd kept secret, that I didn't want people to know; he would eventually hear about all of it. The filter between my mind and mouth was nonexistent.

Just with him in my room, he dominated the small space. Rather than making it his, it seemed as though he… fit. I liked seeing him going through my books, lying on my small twin-bed. Our conversations were deep, our actions layered with meaning, but regardless of those things, it was remarkably easy to just be.

All of the tension dissipated. I rolled my eyes at him, though I understood his point. He had already seen me, all of me. There was no reason to be shy about changing in front of him. I looked over my shoulder at him as I turned my back. We had gotten over the marks, but I didn't want to risk heading down that path again. He inhaled sharply as I divested myself of corset and skirt. Bending over to reach into one of my drawers, I heard him groan.

I quickly donned his shirt and a pair of denim shorts. I would have worn his, but Charlie would know, instantly, that something was different, suspicious.

I heard a car pull up to the house. Charlie was home. My first instinct was to rush to the window. It wouldn't have been anyone else. Edward was here, Alice was with Jasper. Little less than two weeks had passed, I was already getting sloppy. I studied the knife, unsure of where to put it. If I immediately placed it within the drawer, would he think I was brushing him off? If I put it in my pocket… did he intend for me to carry it around?

"Bells?"

Problem solved, I hooked the knife into my waistband so the metal was against my skin. His eyes were so green, the color of approval, arousal.

"Doing homework with Edward," I called down the stairs. Charlie didn't bother replying, probably already snacking on what was left of the pie.

"I need to speak with your Dad," Edward said quietly.

"What about?"

"Uh, isn't that what… people do?"

"Oh. You mean _speak with him_…" It hadn't occurred to me that he'd want to. The notion was so very... traditional. I didn't know of anyone who would think to ask the parents permission to date their daughter.

"If that's alright with you?" Edward was being so careful, so nice. I didn't know why. It wasn't sex that had changed our relationship, it was… us.

"Sure, I guess…" Was he just being nice? Did he want me to talk him out of the idea?

"I just figured that you, especially, would expect it."

"Why? I'm not girl-next-door material, you know? I'm not exactly the good-girl anymore. You don't need to, uh, speak with Charlie if you don't want to."

"You curtsy, speak formally and properly- you could be anything you wanted. And its not true, about you not being good. You are, Bella."

"I don't really do innocent well. Its not as though I miss the loss of… innocence? Whatever. I'm not fishing for compliments, y'know?"

"Of course," his eyes were dark, gray. Unreadable. "I… can't believe you believe that."

"What?"

"That you're not…" he sighed. The mood lightened, he had thought of something amusing. "You remember the computer lab day?"

"How could I forget?"

"You looked absolutely stunning. You and your adjustable short skirt and button-up shirt. You were sexy and pure, I can't even think about it without, uh-" I could have sworn he blushed. It wasn't possible, Edward Cullen did not blush… why he was trying to avoid vulgarity was beyond me. I loved it.

"Getting happy?" I suggested.

"Yeah," he laughed. "You looked like a schoolgirl. I felt like I was corrupting you or something."

"_You_ corrupt _me_? I believe it was my idea."

"I know," he grinned.

"Wait until you see my plaid skirt."

He ran a hand along his jaw, deep in thought. "You have a plaid skirt?"

"Mmhmm," I refused to elaborate. I'd definitely need to bring that out of my bag. I had mary-jane's with heels and a transparent white shirt to complete the outfit. Costumes were my weakness. Halloween was my favorite holiday. So many choices, characters to play.

"Anyway," he cleared his throat. "We should do this the right way from here on out. We kind of muddled through the beginning stages, but, um, if you agree…"

"Won't the people on your mailing list be disappointed?"

He looked at me, his eyebrow raising slowly. "You're _hilarious_."

"Thanks," I smiled at him prettily. "My humor's lost on so many..."

"Alright," he got to his feet, sighed. "If you hear gunfire, call Carlisle."

"He's not going to shoot you." I had to think about it, I didn't want to give him a false sense of security. "He might tase you, though."

"You'd make one hell of a cheerleader," he snickered. "Great pep-talk."

"Zombie cheerleader," I felt the need to add. "No, a cheerleader attacked by a zombie. That's the costume I wore last Halloween."

"Fucking amazing," he knelt down near the edge of my bed, his forearms rested on my comforter. "This is me kissing you good-bye. Not walking away, just leaving momentarily until I see you tomorrow."

He had a sponge for his brain. Everything I had hurled at him in his car, Edward remembered. I'd have to keep that in mind: Be more careful of what I said in the future. No, actually, this was a good thing. I was able to recall everything he'd said; his likes, dislikes, what annoyed him, made him laugh.

Not only did he appreciate my sarcastic humor, his was in accordance with mine. We didn't need to watch what we said, he didn't become offended easily. I leaned in, met him half-way. He didn't bite at all. In fact, he was extremely careful to avoid harsh contact with my bottom lip. I had bitten the hell out of it in the meadow. Of all the aches and good pains in my body, that hurt the most.

His tongue was soft against mine. I shuddered remembering how it, and his tongue-ring felt. "See you soon, babe."

Again with the endearments. I had never been one for cute nicknames. Dear, darling, pudding; I didn't see Edward using any of those, at least I really hoped not. If, however, he spoke any of those words in the same slightly hoarse, meaningful tone… maybe I wouldn't mind so much.

"Are you coming to get me or should I take time to warm the truck up?"

"Whichever."

"Come get me," I decided. "I won't have to set my alarm half an hour earlier."

"I enjoy your company, too," he grinned.

"You held out on me, I didn't get the full deal…" I let my fingers trail over the mark on my neck.

"Just wait," he promised. "You have no idea what you're asking for."

"So show me. ... Soon" I leaned back, stretched. With my arms above my head, hands twined together, I arched my back and looked at him through my eyelashes.

"You're making this really easy," he said ruefully. "All I have to do is go downstairs. Your Dad'll see my massive erection and know immediately."

"I'd take care of that for you if I could."

"Your turn next. I owe you at least three," he kissed me again, "more."

No, he couldn't possibly mean it. Six times altogether? No fucking way. Staring at him; a mix of arrogance, pride, and surety across his expression, I knew. That wasn't even testing his limits.

**o . o . o**

I woke the next morning to a text from Alice. Groaning, I vowed to make her pay. It was nearly an hour before my alarm would go off. 'We need to talk. The dance is tonight!'

I loved Alice, I really did. Five in the morning was not the time for chipper exuberance. I needed caffeine. At least two cups of coffee or a Red Bull would bring me from sluggish to coherent. If I had the ability, I would siphon her energy. With her never-ending font and backup reserves, I'd be set for life.

'Right. Tonight. I won't get there without another hour of sleep.'

I curled up on my side prepared to drift off into what would closely resemble sleep. Edward's unique scent had pervaded my room. His shirt, regardless of my having worn it all night, still smelled like him. My bed sheets, too; it was everywhere and, sadly, I was comforted, and slightly turned on by it.

My phone buzzed a second later. I couldn't ignore Alice. Damnit. Opening one of my eyes, I focused on the blurry screen. 'I've got espresso shots! C'mon, Bella! Wake up, wake up! I'll be there in thirty.'

No she would not be.

Yes she would be. Alice would knock the door down if need be. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, I was so comfortable. Sleepy and irritated, yet guilty for feeling irritation toward her, there were way too many emotions assaulting me this damn early in the morning.

'Forty-five,' I texted back. It would have been easier to input '45.' Fuck it.

'Deal.'

Great. What was I going to wear? Did I have time to shower? Of course. I could do this. Before Edward, I had never been much of a girl. Some eyeliner, a pair of jeans, a corset or t-shirt and I was good to go. Now? I disgusted myself. On the bright side, I looked damn good most of the time. My hair was shiner, my eyes brighter, especially thanks to Visine, and I smelled nice all of the time. It was a pleasant change from grime, filth, and pavement dust.

As I vacated the bathroom, I heard Charlie swear. He fought with the coffee-maker every morning. Buying a new one was on my list of Things To Do. Laundry, an English paper, and finishing all of Edward's books were on that list, too.

I'd have to moderate again. Deciding on a form-fitting pair of jeans, my motorcycle boots, and the second of Edward's shirts; I was ready to go. I might not look flirty or sexy today, but I was sure he'd appreciate the look.

"Bells," Charlie acknowledged me as I came down the stairs.

"Morning," I replied cautiously. Had Edward spoken to him already? There were three recent text-messages from him in my phone. One to let me know he'd gotten home okay, one telling me that Alice had commandeered his driving time with me, and one much later thanking me for his alone-time memories. Apparently porn was no longer necessary, he found release just by remembering what had transpired in the meadow.

I would have followed suit, but Charlie had been on the phone for most of the night. With whom was a mystery. I ruled out a secret lover, he had been entirely too formal. It wasn't his fishing friend Billy, either. I hadn't heard cop-talk so it wasn't anyone he worked with. He stayed out of my social life for the most part, I could afford him the same courtesy. Having lived by himself for years, I wasn't going to pry.

"I'll be home around four today," he looked at me over his newspaper.

"Great, what do you want for dinner?"

"You'll be here?"

"Uh, sure. Why not?"

"I thought maybe you'd be at the Cullens again."

"Nope," I mixed pancake batter while the flat grill warmed up. "Only when I knew you were working late. It's a way to pass time, you suggested I invite Alice over…"

"I did," he agreed. "There's no problem on this end. I've had to take a few extra shifts, one of the guys is on leave. I'm glad we'll have time together tonight, we can talk about some things."

Ice curled in my stomach. Oh no. He knew. Did he know? I studied him discreetly though I should have known better. Charlie would give nothing away, he was better at this game than I. "About anything in particular?"

"You tell me."

"Uh… can't really think of anything."

"Mmhm," he said while taking a sip of his coffee.

I couldn't tell what he meant. Was that an 'mmhm, I know you're hiding something,' or an 'mmhm, fine. I've moved on?' Four quick knocks sounded on the door. I could see already see Alice on the other side, bouncing and ready to greet me with a huge wave and a hug.

I was right. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," she said into my hair.

"No more coffee for you," I closed the door behind us.

"Morning, Alice," Charlie yelled from the kitchen.

"Good morning, Chief Swan," she made herself at home, sitting next to him.

"Want some pancakes, something to drink?" he asked.

"No food, thank you. I ate already."

Okay, this wouldn't be awkward at all. Two people eating breakfast, Alice watching us, at least she accepted some orange juice.

"So I hear there's a dance tonight?" Charlie had lowered his newspaper out of courtesy. It was one thing to read through breakfast with me, most days I had a book next to my plate. Alice, on the other hand, sat and stared around the kitchen, hummed lightly under her breath. Charlie wasn't the best at making small-talk and I could see him becoming jittery, probably thanks to the two cups of coffee he'd nearly inhaled.

"Yeah," Alice beamed. "Do you, uh, have concerns about Bella coming with us?"

"You're still going?" His eyebrows raised as I took the pancakes off the grill.

"Um…" I had sort-of forgotten about it... "If you don't mind. I'll be home for dinner, the dance doesn't start until around seven, I believe."

"Yup. From seven until eleven tonight. We'll be introducing categories for the yearbook." Both Charlie and I stared at her in confusion. Categories for the yearbook? God, I was absolutely dreading the whole picture-taking craziness.

"You know, best dressed, class clown, most outgoing, hottest couple- that type of thing. It'll be fun, so many people have already asked… there's going to be a lot of competition this year."

"… cool," I managed to smile.

"And, Bells, would you happen to have a date for this particular event?"

"Er-"

"I can come get you," Alice piped up. "I mean, I'm not her date or anything, Chief Swan."

"Charlie," he corrected kindly. "Not on duty now."

"Jasper's going to meet up with us at our house, Edward's going, too. We can all car-pool, its not as though we're going to different places, right? And that way I can help you with your make-up and hair. You can help me?"

"No problem," I assured her.

"Would six o'clock be okay, er, Charlie?"

"Fine by me," he replied, unable to properly respond to Alice's unbridled enthusiasm. I could relate, though I spent more time with her and was therefore adjusted to her off-the-wall energy.

"Great! Bella, are you almost done? We've only got forty-five minutes before school!"

"Alice, what are we doing?"

"You've got to stop at my house, I want to show you my dresses!"

"Dress_es_? How many do you have?"

"Three," she responded promptly. "I don't know which to pick, though. How many do you have?"

"Um, one." Technically I didn't have any, I planned on throwing something together. Out of all the outfits I owned and the costumes I had stashed away, I didn't plan on having any trouble picking something. "What's the theme again?"

"Supernatural theme; the guys come as something dark and evil, we, the girls, are their prey, so to speak. Its completely safe, Charlie. Just a chance for us all to dress up, have a little pre-Halloween fun."

"Which is nearly a month away?" I couldn't help adding.

"Yeah, wait until you see the party I have planned. You know our family does something every year, right? Now that Bella's here we can really go all out!"

"Why does my presence have anything to do with it?"

"Because you're going to help me convince Edward to take part. He never dresses up, and he spends most of his time locked away in his room. I mean, yeah, he makes an appearance for my sake, but I want him to have fun this year!"

"Alice…"

"You are coming, right?"

"Probably?"

"I'll clean up," Charlie interjected. "You guys go do your, er, girl stuff. See you later, Bells?"

"Yeah, of course, Dad."

"Ok," we had passed my land-mark tree that signaled our entry onto the highway. "What's up?"

"Edward's got a surprise for you."

"Oh? What kind of surprise? Good?"

"Aren't they always?"

"No," I refused to elaborate.

She laughed, "Fair enough. You'll like it, I promise."

**o . o . o**

I still didn't know what the surprise was. Every time I managed to get Edward alone, Alice would pop up after our hello make-out session. Twice before lunch, once during lunch, and again before we went home. I was more amused than irritated, though it would have been nice to have some alone-time with him in his car during lunch. Unless he planned on a little intermission during the dance, we wouldn't be truly alone again until later tonight.

"Dad," I called up the stairs, "you wanted to know when I was leaving?"

Our dinner had been uneventful. Edward hadn't spoken to Charlie yet. I was actually happy he hadn't. After I laid out our plans, step by step, Charlie had no problem with me spending the night at the Cullens. If he knew Edward and I were 'dating,' he might have more reservations with the amount of time I spent at their house.

Dinner had gone a little longer than I expected. Alice didn't freak out, she was more than able to put together an outfit, decide on makeup, and prepare for the dance by herself. She really just wanted to see the rest of my wardrobe, we were saving that for another day.

Our fashion style was very different, but we had one or two areas where we coincided. Alice liked fishnets of all kinds, I liked lace. She was definitely more petite than I, but we were able to trade shirts and boots. Her skirts would be obscene on me, but mine fit her provided she wore a flashy belt. I envied her slim thighs and small waist, only corsets helped me drop from a waistline of twenty-six to twenty-four, sometimes twenty-two if I stopped breathing.

I winced as Charlie emerged holding a camera. Oh no. I hated pictures. I wasn't photogenic in the least. Candid pictures weren't as bad, but I hated the sight of me frozen, smiling; it creeped me out and made me see all of the scars I'd gained over the years.

"I know," he held the offensive piece of equipment warily. "I'm an old man, its my right."

"Two," I sighed, giving in. "And you're not old."

"Thanks," he smiled knowing that he'd win. "Pose?"

I put on my best good-girl smile and folded my hands in front of my body. I heard the shutter sound once. Good, one more and we would be done with this.

"Now a real one."

"What?"

"I said I'm old, not senile. A real smile now, please, or I get to use this entire roll of film."

"Ok, ok! There's no need to go to extremes!" I put a hand on my hip and smiled again thinking of what Edward's reaction would be.

Click, click, I glared at Charlie. Click.

"Cheater!"

Click.

"Have a good night, okay?" he chuckled.

"I'll try," I returned his hug.

Click. Right in my face, I had to blink the black spots away. I laughed at his trickery. I'd burn it later, let him have his fun now. If I could find the camera later, I'd wake him up that way.

"Dad, if I wanted to see my pores, I'd buy a mirror."

He snorted and stepped back, the camera safely hanging from the strap on his arm. "Be safe, call if you need anything," Charlie looked to my purse. "Don't hesitate."

"I won't," I smiled. "Could be fun, I've never pepper-sprayed anyone before."

"And if you need to," he said, cheerfully, "I'll shoot them."

"Bye," I opened the door while shaking my head at his threat.

"Bells?" He put a hand on my shoulder to stop me, "You look beautiful."

I was glad that I'd chosen nice instead of naughty. He looked proud of me again. I had gotten that look over dinner a few times. Charlie was very happy that my grades were in the A-range. He was also incredibly grateful to Alice and the Cullens for making me feel so welcome in Forks. Charlie and I were relatively similar, which is why living with him was so easy. We didn't associate with very many people, but so long as I had one or two friends, he didn't feel the need to worry about my antisocial behavior.

Aside from the hospital trip, which hadn't been my fault, I hadn't caused him any trouble. In fact, I had barely caused a ripple in his lifestyle. When he wanted to fish, he went. If he worked late, he didn't need to worry that I felt neglected or that I couldn't fend for myself. I actually liked the days he worked past nine at night, it gave me a sense of freedom that kept me from being bored.

Strange how Forks felt more like home and was more entertaining when compared to Phoenix with all-night diners and after-dark activity available. I missed the fighting sometimes, it scared me to think about how much had changed, but not to the point where I'd go back.

"Thank you," I hugged him again. "I'll call when we get there and again after the dance. No worries, I can handle myself."

"I know," he replied seriously. "I didn't take the night-shift tonight, did I?"

"You're awesome," I impulsively kissed his cheek. He followed me out coughing to hide his embarrassment. I knew he appreciated the gesture despite his blustering. Alice waved enthusiastically from her open window.

"I'll take care of her, Chief Dad. Don't worry."

Charlie and I both laughed at her nickname. "Alice, get out of the car for a minute? I want a picture of you both."

"Completely unfair," I protested. "You not only got your two shots in, but you took about six more."

He didn't have to reply, Alice had bounded from the car and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I heard the camera click a few more times; the last one would be pretty good. My arm was across her shoulders, she was smiling, so was I. Fine, he'd have some good pictures of tonight. I couldn't begrudge him them, I'd take the doubles. Maybe I'd ask for three copies, Alice could use a set for her collages if she were so inclined.

"Drive safe," he said as the photo session ended.

Catching my attention as Alice got back into the car, I saw something fly through the air. I barely caught it. Another canister of pepper-spray? Two? If one didn't get the job done… "For Alice," Charlie clarified. I felt a surge of love swell within me for him. He considered Alice part of our family. That he had taken tonight off showed his trust, and self-restraint.

"Love you," I called to where he had ascended the porch stairs. He wouldn't go inside yet, Charlie was too polite for that. I handed the canister to Alice. She reached into her center console and held her own up to the window. Charlie nodded approvingly; I was glad. His estimation of Carlisle would rise another few notches.

"Wait until you see Edward's surprise!" She, too, waited until we had cleared my driveway to speak.

"That good, huh?"

"You have to promise you'll still come to the dance."

"It's a good surprise, right?"

"Ooh yea," she smiled. "I meant that you two can't disappear into his room afterward, not that you'll be angry and leave."

"Wow." What the hell was he wearing? I hesitated before offering any promises. My pulse raced in anticipation. It hadn't been too long since the meadow, I'd gone a lot longer before Forks, but I was more than looking forward to a repeat experience.

"Bella?"

"Well… it really depends, Alice. Give me a hint?"

"Bella!"

"I promise! I promise!"

"Good," she huffed, easing off the gas. We had reached eighty miles an hour and Alice hadn't shown any sign of worry. "Just for that, I say 'you'll see.'"

I focused on the music rather than the ideas running through my mind. I still didn't know very much about the dance except that the Playlist and decorations would be fantastic. I had chosen to go innocent tonight. Edward had seemed really upset with our last conversation concerning that topic. I stood by my statements, but hopefully this outfit would appease him a little. Him worrying about it did not lead for a physical end to our night. As much as I loved our conversations, we could talk after rather than before.

We pulled up to the house, their garage door opened. I glanced over at Alice as her body literally vibrated with happiness. She stopped her car, hopped out, and raced over to give Jas a huge hug. They looked amazing together; I credited their color-coordinating to Alice.

He had gotten quite a few date invitations. When he realized that polite refusal didn't work, Jas walked around with Alice plastered to his side. That, finally, prevented the more aggressive females from continuing to bother him. No one wanted to be on Alice's bad side, not when more than half the school loved her.

It was amazing to me what girls would do to get a guy. Friendship, dignity; all of it went out the window when there was conflict. Alice had called him the second she had seen Jasper. Unlike Stanley's crew breathing down my neck, Edward being propositioned openly by every female envious of my standing with him, Jasper was now left alone. I preferred it that way, if it had to happen. Alice didn't deserve bitchery over Jasper, she should focus purely on being happy. If they gave her any shit, I'd make it stop immediately. Lauren and Jessica didn't bother me in the slightest, Edward didn't even take the time to reply to their seduction tactics.

Speaking of Edward… my jaw dropped. No motherfucking way. He stared directly at me. His eyes were hot, green, and rooting me in place. He, at this moment, made one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Dressed in a seventeeth century shirt, black leather pants; he sat astride a motorcycle.

Vampire? Not with his leather jacket draped across one of the handlebars. He had decided not to go over the top with costumes. It was more than fine by me, he looked classic and sexual, old-world and rakish. I wanted to go over, sit in front of him, lay back against the front of the motorcycle and let him take me right the fuck here. My god, he was so fucking incredible. As though the leather, tattoo's, and piercings weren't enough… of course he owned a bike.

Edward smiled as he looked me up and down. I saw his eyebrow raise, he inhaled sharply. When he realized I was incapable of movement, he walked over to me. "Hi," his voice was hoarse, pleased.

"Hey," I managed to reply.

"We can take the car, I had forgotten you'd be wearing a dress. I should have thought ahead, sorry."

"Sorry?" He was apologizing, for what? Well, I was sorry, too. With Alice and Jasper standing less than four feet away, talking with their heads bowed, facing each other; Edward and I couldn't make-out as I desperately wanted to. It wouldn't end, I knew that I sure as hell would not be stopping if we were to start.

"It's not a problem," I continued. "My dress is short, if I tuck it underneath me the wind and tires won't be an issue. I love your bike, its classy."

"I'd rather you be underneath me on it," he pulled me closer so his hips touched mine. I tried to keep my expression neutral seeing. Edward's back was to our audience, but they had a clear view of my face. He was hard, wanting me as much as I wanted him.

"Later," I whispered into his ear. "We've got a lot of time to make up for."

I felt his breath against my neck, heat radiated from his body. Leather was warm and soft against my legs. I wanted to unzip his pants, straddle him vertically, and allow the layers of my dress to cover what we were doing. Later, maybe, too?

"You promised," Alice said sternly peering around Jasper.

"What did you promise," Edward asked. His five o'clock shadow was rough, I wanted to lick my way up his jaw, take his piercing between my lips, his tongue into my mouth...

"Basically that I wouldn't fuck you right here."

"I should move then," he chuckled. "We should go."

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he walked with me toward the bike. Thank fuck for leather, it covered and concealed all traces of his arousal.

I was instantly assaulted by gasoline, metal, lumber, so many good garage smells. It wasn't decorative, someone in his family knew their way around power-tools. I couldn't see Alice using a weed whacker, Esme starting a chainsaw. Carlisle, perhaps, Edward definitely. I wondered if he had a tool bag, and if I could convince him to wear it sometime.

They had a stack of wood and an axe alongside their garage, presumably for their fireplace. Who had felled the small trees, chopped the firewood into manageable pieces? Carlisle? Weren't doctor's hands supposed to stay away from machinery that would damage them? Edward had calluses, I realized with a surge of heat. I had felt them.

"We're heading out," Jasper announced, truck keys in hand.

"I'll see both of you there?"

"Yes, Alice," I laughed. "I told you I'd be there."

She looked satisfied as Edward jingled the bike's keys and straddled the bike again. I would have gotten on behind him, but his grip on my waist hadn't slackened. Was he planning something? Edward waved as the truck roared out of sight, Alice already dancing to Jasper's country music. They looked so happy, complete; I made a mental note to guy-hug Jas later. He was really good for her, and vice-versa, I was really glad they'd found one another.

"Fucking finally," Edward growled. He pulled me down in front of him so that both of my legs went around his waist. Fucking mind-reading genius. Spontaneous and courteous, as always. With his arms wrapped around my waist, his hands shielded my back from the protruding gears on his bike. He tasted like mint, smelled like sex, I moaned as his tongue dueled mine. I fisted my hands in his hair and ground my hips against his.

"Think Alice would mind if we were a little late? We'd still go…"

"My parents are home until ten tonight," Edward nipped at my neck, smiled at the yellowish bruise I'd covered with concealer. "After that, we're free to do whatever we want."

"Are they working at the hospital?"

"No, its their anniversary. We did the family dinner thing, Alice and I gave them presents. Carlisle's taking Esme into Port Angeles for dancing and a night at one of their hotels."

"Ah," I laughed, sat back. At least they'd be having fun. "I wish I had known, I have to get them something. What did you buy?"

This, normally, would have been absurd. Feeling him throbbing and hard against my stomach, straddling him on a motorcycle... we were talking about his parents getting it on and gift suggestions. Only with Edward would this have worked.

"I got Esme a necklace and bracelet set. For Carlisle, Alice and I found an old-fashioned doctor's coat. He won't wear it all the time, but he loves collecting things like that. I'll show you later, if you're at all interested. He has medical equipment from across the world, from different time-periods."

"That's really cool," I smiled. "I like that you're a thoughtful gift-giver."

"Yes," he quirked his brow. "I always try to be thoughtful when I'm giving…"

"We were talking about your parents," I rolled my eyes as I interrupted him.

"I'm a little distracted at the moment," he shifted.

"Clear your head, bad-boy. You're going to be driving soon."

"I can multi-task," he smirked. All the same, he helped me dismount and position myself behind him with my arms around his waist. The black helmet he gave me didn't mess with my hair. I wouldn't have cared if it did.

"You've ridden a bike before?"

"Yes, Edward," I raked my nails across his chest. "I know how to control one, too. Possibly better than you."

"We'll see," he turned the key.

The motorcycle purred to life, he took good care of everything he owned. The metal gleamed, he barely had to touch the gas before the bike sprang forward. One touch of a button closed the garage doors. The vibration was delicious. He handled the bike with precise control, Edward would never put me in any danger.

I was actually looking forward to attending this dance. Consider it foreplay, in a sense, with all of the adrenaline, clothed gyrating. It was nearly six-thirty now, less than four hours to go. Would we make it that long? I planned on doing everything possible to make him lose control.

Innocent, me?

**Final Authors Note:  
Bunch2009, Tina062393, Bundysarah, B. Martin, Blankis, Acw1-  
**Thank you for all of the nice things, suggestions, and happy comments ya'll left! I really appreciate your taking the time to write something! =D!  
**Sarix Angel-  
**I love dancing, too. There's a goth club near where I live and I want to go more than I do. The book sounds interesting, I'll have to do some research to see if I can find a title. Thanks!  
**Littleangel53126-  
**Yes, the tattoo's. I keep effing procrastinating that because I want them all to be perfect. His past is still a bit of a mystery to me. Every time I think I've got it straight, something new happens that takes me off-guard. Thank you so very much for your nice words!  
**AngelOfRosesCullen-  
**I'm sorry for your mysterious bruises! I'm happy you liked the lemon, though!**  
My4kids**-  
You read it straight through? Wow. I love bad-boy Edward's and bad-boy's in and of themselves, too! I'm really trying to keep Bella his equal despite the fact he's obviously stronger and better at certain things. He protects her, yes, but I hope to show that she doesn't _need_ it though she _likes_ it at times. =)**  
DevilishAngel78- **  
More smut upcoming! I don't have much experience writing it, that's the problem, haha. Not to mention, this was the 'first time' with each other so it meant even more than regular gratification. Gah, I'm searching for a nice balance between erotic and sexy, without branching into the raunchy area. =P**  
AngelaSampedro99-  
**No problem! You made me laugh, happily, with your latest review! Thank you so, so much! And you're right, I don't see them as the 'making love' type, they _do_ have too much passion for it to be sweet and utterly gentle. **  
AllyZon- **  
Yay! They're definitely bitches and Bella will be taking some sort of action against them. I'm not sure how yet though…  
**Mickey**-  
thanks for the 'lemon' support! It surprised me, actually, the amount of people that supported that scene. I would have thought they'd find it too… something not so positive, haha.  
**BellasMommy- **  
I like your screen name, makes me smile. And thank you for your nice words!**  
Kitasky123-**  
You absolutely do not sound mental! I love the enthusiasm and exuberance, you make my day. =D Sorry for the really, really late update!**  
Snickerz610- **  
Thanks! I'm not sure how he's going to handle it either. I guess Edward will be telling him sometime in the next few chapters. Hope it amuses you, no matter his reaction! I love your comments, thanks!**  
PatchsFallenAngel-  
**Oh my _god_. Thank you so much! All of your reviews rocked my world and I love the references you used! Congrats to your friend in the talent show! Nice to meet another kindred goth-punk-hardcore 'freak'! I also agree with your statement on chapter 6. That was one of my main goals- to show that no matter what their past, everyone in this story is a little fucked up. Everyone has bad things that happen to them, obstacles to overcome, but how they deal with them make the person. And yes, if you couldn't tell, I love 'Sex on Fire' as much as Bella. Its such a great song. And I don't know why Tanya was Jasper's sister, but the encouragement for the pairing makes me happy. Thanks so much, again, I actually got notice of your reviews after a bad scene between my parents and sister. (They reconciled before I left)- but all the same, thanks for the pick-me-up!


	19. For Your Entertainment

**Chapter 19  
- For Your Entertainment**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note: **  
I actually use most of the songs in this chapter! Also, be aware, for those of you who find these themes offensive- I go a little into bdsm. Muhaha, hope ya'll enjoy! Don't take it too seriously, its not going to be a hugely major theme, no worries… I don't foresee the story changing in any way. **Lemon warning for the end of the chapter**_**.**_

**Playlist  
**http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Chuch of Hot Addiction- **Cobra Starship  
**Monster- **Lady Gaga  
**For Your Entertainment- **Adam Lambert  
(I love this song, the music video, and his AMA performance. Go check it out if you're into sex of a rougher nature. Mmm, he's so much fun to write too!)  
**Living Dead Girl- **Rob Zombie**  
Teeth- **Lady Gaga**  
Closer- **Nine Inch Nails  
(I know, I know! Cliché as hell, right? It fits with the theme, though! 'ducks behind barricade)  
**Animal Attraction- **She Wants Revenge

**Edward's Point of View**

Bella was definitely the most eclectic person I'd ever met. Whether she wore black leather and lace, clothing from the seventeenth or eighteenth centuries, jeans and flannel, her attitude reflected the outfits. She was poised, eloquent, intelligent, overly considerate… the fact that she had so many good qualities and overlooked all of them really pissed me off.

To me, she was the good-hearted, badass, schoolgirl-next-door. I could see her kicking the crap out of someone who pissed her off, going home to change, and then sitting down for tea to end her day. All of her 'personalities' merged into one, the person I saw when we talked about difficult things. She was so many fucking different people all contained in one passionate, defiantly fighting, yet lost, package of sensuality and fire.

Standing in her virginal white dress, uncertainty written across her expression, I wanted to help her. I needed her not to look unsure _ever_ fucking again. She was walking toward the garage now that the door was fully opened- I had heard Alice's car approach from where Jasper and I were talking. I had also situated us there in anticipation of hearing her car.

I saw her eyes widen. Her jaw even dropped slightly. Jasper clapped me on the shoulder in a 'nicely played' way before wrapping Alice in a bear-hug as she hurtled into him. Bella and I weren't at that stage yet, if it would ever happen. Alice was so much freer with her emotions and actions, she had no qualms about taking someone's hand to lead them somewhere. Jasper, too, though he had gotten better with giving personal space. I don't know about the South, but in New York people tended to keep a nice circle of space around them when interacting with others. Jay had never gone to fucking hold my hand, and if he ever did… I'd clock him in the jaw on principle.

Overall, though, they were good together. Of all the people Alice could have fallen for, she found a good boyfriend in Jasper. I marginally trusted him. He and Alice hadn't found the physical side to their relationship, not that it would have really bothered me. Who was I to cast stones when the first thing I had wanted to do with Bella was take her, not only on the teachers desk, but in front of the entire fucking class. Alice had been waiting, as long as I'd known her, for someone like Jasper. It made perfect sense that her guy would be a true southern gentleman complete with cowboy attire and an accent. Only Alice, I mentally laughed. Her hope remained true no matter what. In this case, her eternal optimism had paid off.

Bella's eyes darted from the bike to me. She paused, I saw lust and pride in her gaze as she looked at me from head to foot. Fuck, I felt the same way about her. The wind was blocked by our house or her dress would have given me a nice view. Layers of white lace, a corset-like bodice, her white Victorian boots; she looked so fucking innocent, it was driving me insane.

I walked to her in boyfriend mode, and also because the gravel might be difficult to walk over in five inch heels.

"Hi." I loved that she didn't fuck with her hair, nothing detracted from her tropical fruit-Bella scent. Especially now, she looked so fucking good. She wasn't wearing a lot of makeup, nothing like the color coordinated eye-shadow and lipstick that she normally chose. Only a light line of black eyeliner darkened her eyes, pink lip-gloss and mango chapstick coated her lips.

"Hey," she smiled. That happy-to-see you voice was all for me. I fucking loved it. She didn't talk to me as though I were some randy perverted guy on the street. I didn't know why or how I'd gained her trust, but now that I had it, I realized how important it was to me.

I couldn't help but move in closer to her. Fuck personal space; we were dating, friends. She didn't need to stand a mile away from me. Bella leaned against me, the lace of her dress brushed against my arm with the slight breeze. I rethought my genius vehicle change; I figured she'd be a fan of motorcycles, but I hadn't considered…

"We can take the car. I had forgotten you'd be wearing a dress. I should have thought ahead, sorry."

"Sorry?" Her tone was filled with such disbelief, I tried not to laugh aloud. She looked so cool and collected. I knew better. If we were ever in a poker championship, Bella would, hands down, be my partner. I doubted Alice and Jasper were able to feel the crackling of sexual awareness that was steadily growing with our prolonged contact.

I pulled her closer. Her eyes darted to the bike, back to me and I saw an unasked question on her expression. She bit her lip and flushed. I groaned, how open to exploration was she? I had several fantasies involving the motorcycle and a woman, now Bella, wearing leather and thigh-high boots.

I felt as though I were corrupting her, again. Even in modest, untouched white; I still wouldn't have that much of a problem with taking her like a reprobate on the seat.

"Later," she whispered into my ear. "We've got a lot of time to make up for." She smiled, wicked and promising. I felt the tension reach breaking point. One of us was going to make a move soon, and if Alice and Jasper didn't find somewhere else to be, they'd be our audience.

"You promised," I heard Alice say.

Was that meant for me? I had never promised her anything when it came to Bella. I never committed to things I wouldn't be able to uphold. "What did you promise?" I asked. If her words weren't meant for me, obviously she had wrangled Bella into something.

"Basically? That I wouldn't fuck you right here."

Oh fuck. She was being crass on purpose, I knew it, I felt it. She was taunting me. Were we ever going to make it into a fucking bedroom? First the meadow, now my garage, the dance was certainly another option.

"I should move then." I laughed, would I have the willpower to wait until later? How would she feel about going at it during the dance and then again when we got back here? If Alice had any of her games planned, I might have to lock her and Jasper away somewhere. "We should go."

Alice had eased some of the tension, I was more myself. Was I really close to assaulting Bella in my own fucking driveway? No manners, indeed. I put an arm around her waist and moved into the garage. Safe territory. If Carlisle and Esme were watching, they wouldn't see what might happen.

"We're heading out," Jasper grinned at me, I couldn't decipher what it meant. Both he and Alice had been giving me looks like that, as if they knew something I didn't. What the fuck?

"I'll see both of you there?"

"Yes, Alice," Bella laughed at my pixie sister's veiled threat. Alice never had to come out and threaten, her voice always keyed me in to how she was feeling no matter what she was saying. We had to go to the dance. If we didn't show, consequences would be dire. Not to mention it would really hurt her, I couldn't be responsible for that.

I waved, half saluting her, accepting that we were going and that Alice had manipulated us perfectly. Not with any malice, of course, she had our best interests in mind.

"Fucking finally." I hadn't meant to say that aloud, but fuck it now. Reminding myself not to manhandle her, I managed to sit her down so that her legs straddled my waist. It had been so much safer in my mind. The gears would dig into her back. Ah, easily solved. I wrapped my arms around her waist and protected her with my arms. I was also quite happy with the result. With her back up further, she slipped down even harder onto my lap. Fucking fine by me. Being a gentleman had its perks, I was beginning to realize.

Her hair was so soft, like silk against my skin. She met me, the tension breaking, as her tongue curled around mine. Every ounce of hunger, of frustrated waiting, was poured into me. I felt her tug on my hair. Her nipples were hard against my chest as she rocked her hips. Fuck yes. I wanted a 'hello' from her like this every motherfucking time…

Damnit. Fuck, Esme and Carlisle were still somewhere in the house. The thought crossed my mind as I nudged her dress further up her thighs with my leg. Time to ease off, damn, damn, hell. Her lips were naturally red now from our making out session. I didn't want to see her wearing any other color. Pouty, a little swollen from where I'd bitten and sucked; I had to focus on removing my hands from one of the bars in order to keep from kissing her again.

Her neck, I looked for my mark but didn't readily see it. She covered it well, I had been wondering what Charlie's reaction to it would be. Even better, I wanted to know what Bella's excuse was. She moved back now that our actions were limited. I really fucking appreciated that she understood my reticence when it came to doing things with Carlisle and Esme home. Alice, even, I didn't want anyone to overhear me fucking someone. I'd had enough of that shit as a kid, I didn't want to inflict that on anyone else.

Bella, on the other hand, sent all of my boundaries crashing down. On a teacher's desk, in the garage; I didn't necessarily want anyone to see, but if they were in the way… fuck it. Let them watch, run, it wouldn't fucking matter. I'd claim her for all to see if it came down that.

We were talking, I realized. I had been holding a conversation while envisioning all the ways I could quietly accomplish what we both wanted. But then my parents came up. Though Carlisle he was a doctor, he always made time for people he cared about. He took the night off for everyone's birthdays, school events, holidays. His schedule allowed for at least four or five dinners at home per week, and he took off a lot during the summer for vacations.

They did different things each year. I could remember them going to a strip club and casino, not that they gave details. The only reason I knew was because I'd seen the brochure in the trash. Hell, I'd been curious. What need was there for three strippers, in color, to be on top in the can? It was actually refreshing to know they were sexually open people. Everything else about their lifestyle was so conservative.

Last year they had gone on a short cruise, the year before they had worked in the hospital for an emergency. It had been a difficult procedure and Esme was in the operating room due to short-staffing. They both agreed it was one of their best anniversaries to date.

"I wish I had known, I have to get them something. What did you buy?"

Free as hell with money, Bella was. It really meant something that she cared so deeply about Alice, and now Carlisle and Esme. She barely knew them, but she wanted to buy them a gift and she felt bad for not having known. I should have told her, but it really hadn't crossed my mind.

I was again in a calm state of mind and she was still sitting in my lap. Only with Bella would this have worked. No one else could have gained my attention so completely as I throbbed against her, the taste of her still on my lips. Thinking of her thighs clenched around my head, having my tongue against her- shit. It was more dangerous than driving high or drunk.

First step? Remove temptation. I helped tuck parts of the fabric under her legs and situated her so that we'd both have plenty of room. She had been right, her dress wasn't long enough to be a safety hazard.

"You've ridden a bike before?" I felt like an idiot again; this wouldn't be happening if she'd never been on a bike before. One of the pins on her bag had been the Harley Davidson logo, but that didn't mean she had experience on one.

"Yes, Edward," I felt her sigh. "I know how to control one, too. Possibly better than you."

"We'll see," I scoffed. Had she just challenged me? I felt my cock come back to life thinking about her in leather pants, her jacket. Nothing else.

Yup, time to go.

The entire way to school, Bella tormented the hell out of me. Running her hands across my chest, playing lightly at my stomach. She never went under my waistband, but she did go under my shirt.

After negotiating with Alice who had wanted me to go in velvet, with a fucking cape, I had managed to negotiate her down to this shirt and a pair of leather pants. I wasn't about to go around hissing at people, but she was happy that I was 'making an effort.' The shirt wasn't too bad, so far as the rest went. No lace, certainly no fucking ribbons, I could deal with this. The leather pants I had gotten used to wearing long ago; I had them tailored so they weren't tight or flamboyant. I might play the part, but I would never live it.

I pulled right up to the school door and locked the bike to a tree. Fuck finding real parking. I didn't want to make Bella walk across the entire lot. The closest spaces were about half a mile away. I had better uses for her strength and endurance.

"So we're really doing this, huh?" Bella asked.

"Doing what?"

"The dance."

"Which one," I grinned at her. Our dominance games were ever present, as was our inability to actually grab our situation by the horns and admit what it really was.

She motioned to the gym with a wry expression. "You pick."

"We're dating," I replied. "The other dates passed us by, but we've taken notice of this one. I know you can dance, I've seen it."

"You've seen nothing," she scoffed. "Wait until we get in there."

"By all means," I took the stairs two at a time and opened the door for her. "Let's get this started, huh?"

"Its already started. We can't finish things until later, so might as well enjoy the in-between."

"I fully intend to."

Bella was right. When it came to expressing herself on the dance floor, I had seen nothing. She was so graceful, primal. Almost better than sex- wait, fuck that. Close to, I'll give her that.

"I love this song!" I laughed as she twirled in a small circle. She had said that for everything that had played thus far. Cobra Starship, Lady Gaga, and now Adam Lambert?

"Don't give me that look," she clutched my shoulders and essentially used me as a stripper's pole. "Listen to it, it could be our song!"

"I really don't think so," I felt the need to put an end to that thought right the fuck now.

Our song? We had progressed to the point where we had a song? Uh… fuck it? Our lives revolved around music most of the time, anyway… any song that had played during our drinking games with Alice, with her in my bedroom, all of them brought Bella to mind. Listening to certain country songs made me hard. I listened to Kid Rock's 'So Hott' and didn't need porn. We should have a song. No, fuck that, we should have a damn playlist with the rate we discussed music and bands.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Isn't Adam Lambert gay?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "What difference does that make?"

"No songs that end in death, no music written by gay or bi people, of any gender, and nothing involving incarceration or pain goes on the Playlist."

I wanted to really start things off right. Having music symbolic of pain, suffering, death, despair, and the lie we'd told Charlie didn't bode well for the future. We had enough working against us; did we really need to rock the boat?

"Edward," she laughed. "That eliminates all of the music on your Ipod."

I listened closer. "Is he cracking a whip?"

"Yes! Stop talking and dance with me!"

I had actually heard this before, Alice played it a lot, too. The reason behind my question, well, Bella had said she liked pain. How far she was willing to go however… I was beginning to get the hint.

_"Imma hurt you real good baby," _she grinned wickedly and clawed down my chest.

"Bella?" I drew her into my arms, fingers hard on her hips, and bit her neck. "I'm Top, not submissive." She drew back immediately and searched my face. I had guessed right. Her face was flushed, and not from physical exertion. I could see excitement and anticipation in her stare.

_"Do you know what you got into?"_

_ "Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do? Cause its about to get rough for you."_

_ "I'm here for your entertainment,_" she took my shoulders again and lowered her body sinuously down mine. She ended on the floor, on her knees, her hands on the back of her neck. Fucking hell. Looking up at me, biting her lip, I grabbed her hair at the nape of her neck and pulled her head backwards.

She went still, her entire body relaxed. This was the cause for our little dominance battle? Bella needed someone to take charge, someone strong. Luckily, I had a little experience with that. She was incredibly happy, I could feel it vibrating through her body. She always made me take the first move, regardless that she had goaded me into it a few times. Bella had been more than happy when I man-handled her.

Her throat was pale and exposed, she'd remove the concealer later. No one would see her until late tomorrow afternoon, anyway. Taking both of her wrists in my hand, she rose gracefully. I moved her the way I wanted her to go.

_ "Baby, I'm in control,"_ I twisted her arms behind her back and walked a small circle around her. _"Take the pain, take the pleasure. I'm the master of both."_

Was I really singing along to an Adam Lambert song? Fuck yes. It wasn't my normal choice when it came to music, but Bella was slowly changing my mind. She stayed where I had positioned her though her eyes followed my every movement. I stood at her back and put one of my hands on her throat. Only applying a small bit of pressure, I let her know that I understood and would be finishing things later.

_"I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown,"_ she sang into my ear.

Hell yes she was. She had done so a good number of times already, and with incredible skill. I didn't, however, want to turn this into some sort of bdsm-relationship thing. Bella and I had just accepted dating. I was fine with being her boyfriend and having her as my girlfriend. We couldn't complicate things any further yet. The future, however, held a great many possibilities.

She twisted out of my grasp. Facing me, she had one hand on her hip as she grabbed the front of my shirt. She wrapped one of her legs around my waist and dug her nails into my arm as she arced backwards. I had a nice view down the front of her dress. White transparent lace, jesus fuck.

_"I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet,"_ she batted her eyelashes at me. _"You thought an angel swept you off your feet."_

_"But I'm about to turn up the heat," _I turned her around again and ground my hips against her. She shuddered in my hold. I bent over with her still in front of me and thrust against her miming what I really wanted to do.

_ I'm here for your entertainment,"_ she looked over her shoulder at me. Bella gave everything she had, and we were only dancing. I gave just as much in return, feeling her excitement rebound from me and back to her, this could become dangerous. Fuck it, neither of us cared.

_"Do you like what you see?"_

I turned her so she was riding my leg._ "Let me entertain ya 'til you scream!" _I couldn't possibly reach the tone Lambert achieved, but the message was clear all the same.

Surprisingly, this wasn't 'I'm going to take you now' energy. It was controlled, out of control… fun. I didn't know what she'd do next, tomorrow didn't matter. We had right now, with fantastic fucking music, using actions to say all of the things that had gotten lost as the days had passed.

The lights went off and were replaced with black lights. It seemed as though everyone disappeared. A lot of the girls had come in black, there weren't many people in light colored outfits. Bella, on the other hand, stood out radiantly, her dress and shoes glowing. She stepped back from me, grinning, happy. I knew that look. She was doing this on purpose. And I knew exactly what she wanted to gain from it. Fucking tease, in such a great fucking way.

"I love this song, too!" I let go of her as she started jumping around. This was a sexual song, as well, but not in the same way. Adaptable as ever, we both changed gears and started grinding against one another.

_ "Who is this creature that has an insatiable love for the dead?"  
"Living dead girl!"_

I knew all of the words, Bella sang along to them and moved her body in ways I didn't think possible. Flexible as fuck, agile as hell, she balanced in her five-inch heels as she matched my moves. Not many people here would make it in a goth club.

_ "Crawl on me, sink into me. Die for me. Living Dead Girl."_

Switching again, I followed her rather than making her keep up with me. She smiled wickedly and twined her fingers through my hair. We hadn't lost body contact once through all of the three or four songs we'd danced to.

All of our defenses had shattered; I saw raw lust, adrenaline, and passion in her face. Doubtless she could see the same on mine. I was holding nothing back, I let her see it all. The darkness in me that reveled in this type of atmosphere was in her, too. Black light, forbidden seduction, nefarious intent; Alice had done one hell of a job planning this dance.

_"Blood on her skin, dripping with sin. Do it again, Living Dead Girl!"_

She moved like a gypsy or a belly-dancer. When the hell had she learned to do that? Fluid, like water, I stood still as she literally crawled up my body. Exactly like a fucking stripper's pole, she wrapped one leg around both of mine. Her other leg went around my waist so she was straddling me vertically with her arms wrapped around my neck. She smiled gratefully when I supported her back and repaid me by moving upward slowly so that I could see straight down her dress. Fucking tease, she rubbed herself rhythmically against my stomach and kissed me hard as the song ended.

_"I've done this before,"_ I heard her whisper huskily. _"Show me your teeth."_ With my face against her neck, all I could smell was her. She again surrounded me completely eradicating everything else. It took me a moment to realize she was speaking along with the music.

"Did you come as a vampire, Edward?"

"No."

"That's not nearly as fun," she sighed.

"I don't need to be a vampire in order to take your blood."

"What?"

I couldn't help myself. Maybe I had a thing for necks. I'd never noticed being overly drawn to anyone's throat before Bella. It was so fucking pale, unmarked, she all but taunted me into leaving my own behind.

"Shit!" I heard the laughter in her voice and felt no need to pull away. Continuing to apply more pressure, I almost brought my teeth together around her skin. She was writhing against me, completely forgetting where we were. Thank fuck for black light, although I _really_ couldn't have cared less. "Fuck, Edward!"

The pain would be traveling up along her spine, I let go and licked where I had bruised. The sensation would now be traveling downward, she cried out softly and wrapped her legs around me harder. Oh yes, it was a fucking science. I knew what I was doing. She was my subject and I intended to use all of my expertise to make her scream my name again.

"Cigarette," she growled. "Now." Grabbing my hand, I had to pull her back so she walked slightly behind me. Being taller and broad shouldered made it easy to clear a path across the dance floor. I didn't need to do much work, people moved out of our way. I glared at a few of the guys who stared at inappropriate places on Bella's body. What the fuck? I didn't go around ogling their girlfriends… anymore. Show some fucking respect.

Bella smiled happily. "Alice!" She and Jasper were outside already. Jay smoked while Alice danced in a circle around him. He was watching his cigarette in relation to her and gained another few points of respect because of it.

"Enjoying yourselves?"

"Hell yes!" Bella ran over and wrapped her in a hug, the kind Alice loved. "You're amazing, you're awesome! I can't believe you planned that on your own!"

"I did have help," she laughed.

"Please," Bella scoffed. "All of us know the truth, you single-handedly planned this, decorated, decided on music…"

"No, I used what you and Edward chose. I had no problems with it, though some of them might be a little much for a school dance."

"Fuck it," I shrugged. "Anyone gives you shit, let me know about it. I'll change their minds."

"I know," she giggled. "Don't worry, brother babe, its not worrying me."

Jasper had finished his cigarette, meeting my eyes he gave me that look again. "Ya'll are really good together," he commented. "I noticed the two of you on the dance floor."

"Thanks, man," I nodded at him. "The same to both of you."

Little white lies never hurt anyone, I hadn't been paying attention to anyone but Bella. Judging from Alice's bright smile, the lie had been worth it.

"C'mon, Jas? Done yet? I want to get inside before this song ends."

"No problem, darlin'," he grinned. "See ya'll later."

"Have fun," Bella called after them.

It was cool out, a nice change from the inside of Forks High. I lit Bella a cigarette, then one for me, and we smoked in silence for awhile. It was a peaceful silence, one that didn't feel awkward or as though I should be trying to find filler conversation. I could hear the music all the way out here, Alice had really cranked the speakers to full capacity.

"Closer?"

"Love the song," I grinned. "I convinced Alice on the basis that it could have something to do with werewolves and vampires."

"Werewolves, that I can sort-of see. Vampires? Not at all."

I drew her around the corner and toward one of the open windows. "Don't think about it too hard," I warned her. "Almost killed the song for myself… I won't go into detail. Just… I'm not into bestiality. At all."

"Me neither," she laughed. "You're kinda twisted, you know?"

"I've been told."

We were standing with our backs to the wall, heads moving to the beat. I waited until she had finished her cigarette to stand in front of her. _"Help me; I've got no soul to sell. Help me; the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself."_

"Vampires don't have souls, right?"

"Well I don't know, Edward, I've never actually met one. Why wouldn't they have a soul? Anne Rice's vampires had souls."

"Evil creatures of the night… they can't retain a soul."

"Why not," she asked again. "They died, were transformed, if their soul left when they became reanimated- why wouldn't it return?"

"I have no idea," I had to shake my head at the preposterous situation. With the ultimate sex song playing, were we really debating this? "Let's rain-check this conversation?"

"Sure," she blushed slightly. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Want another cigarette?"

"No…"

"What do you want?"

"Guess," she looked at me through her eyelashes. Tipping her head back against the wall, she ran her fingers along the imprint of my teeth.

"You really like it when I bite you," I groaned and pushed her back against the wall.

_ "I wanna fuck you like an animal. I wanna feel you from the inside…"_

"See the pipe up there? Grab it."

"Huh?"

Taking her by the waist, I lifted her. Using the wall as leverage, I situated her on my shoulders.

"Edward?"

"The pipe," I reiterated.

She did as I'd commanded. Willing sacrifice, Bella definitely looked like one. The white of her dress contrasted sharply with all of the black I was wearing. With her arms above her head, body stretched and waiting for me, I couldn't wait any longer. She was a little bit tense, but nothing like the meadow. No one would come out here, yearbook crap came after this song. We had all the time in the world.

I moved her dress out of the way. Gathering the fabric, I didn't want to be concealed underneath. I wanted to see her face, watch her reaction. Crotchless panties, Bella was fucking fantastic. So wet, so hot; she inhaled sharply as I slid two fingers into her. Hell fuck yes.

"What if…"

"Shh," I interrupted gently. "Listen to the song, close your eyes for now."

She shuddered as I rubbed against her g-spot. No preparation needed, she'd been ready for hours. I put my mouth over her and licked lightly. Her legs trembled, I felt her get a better grip on the pipe. I wouldn't let her fall, she was safe. Always, she would always be safe with me.

"Don't tease," I heard her say. "Please?"

Again with that; I took a deep breath and inhaled her sweet scent. She drove me insane. I needed to feel her come. What I wanted could wait. Starting with a slow rhythm, I slid my tongue around her. Using only the lightest pressure on her clit, I heard her moan. Over and over, I didn't add any pressure, but, heeding her plea, I didn't drive her into a frenzy of agonized arousal.

"More," she begged. "Close."

Not even. If she came now… I shook my head against her. There was a lot I could show her about the levels of orgasm. She was impatient. Quick gratification was never truly satisfying. Sliding my fingers in and out of her, twisting them within her to further expose her clit, I flickered my tongue and applied steady pressure with my lip ring. I felt her clench around me once, twice; I hummed low in my throat.

"Fuck, Edward!" I rubbed hard circles on her g-spot and heard her nails grate against metal. That's what I wanted. Glancing up at her, she had arched her back for further contact. Her face was flushed, I could see the surges of pleasure coursing through her.

She looked down at me, intense need on her expression. It was time, she wouldn't protest. Now that she knew how good it could feel, I was free to change things up a little. My hand mimed what I desperately wanted. I moved my tongue over her, fast and smooth, I drank her down as she went over the edge. I braced us against the wall and stayed still as she rode it out. Fuck, fuck, fucking hell. Yes... Her thighs clamped around my neck and head, she rocked her hips slowly until she completely finished.

"Down," she gasped. "Help me down?"

I supported her weight as her knees buckled. She clung to me, laughing and satisfied.

"You thought we were done?"

"No," she smiled hazily, cupped my cock through leather. "You haven't gotten off yet."

Me? She had a point, but that wasn't my main concern. I licked my lips, savoring the taste of her, and she brought my face down to hers. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kissed me hard, brutally. My piercings were sharp on the inside of my lip, she slid her tongue around mine and moaned again. Lifting her dress, I felt lace and satin. She jerked slightly, but didn't pull away. Perfect. I rubbed her gently through her fantastic fucking white lingerie.

"But-"

"Guess what I want," I whispered into her neck.

It was a bad idea, but with her I wouldn't lose control. I didn't share this side of me with anyone else. The level of power I gave Bella by showing her my vulnerability, what I truly needed... she could drag me down if she wanted to.

In the past, I focused on getting off quickly, making sure the other women enjoyed themselves, but I never stuck around for long afterward. I certainly never held back to prolong theirs, unless they really surpassed my expectations. If I didn't get inside of her until later, I was completely fine with that provided Bella scream for me one more time.

I felt her lick across the side of my throat. She knew me far too fucking well.

So motherfucking wet, I used my index and middle fingers to brush against her again. She bit down, my hips slammed into her. Involuntary reaction. Fuck, god, do it again. More, I wanted more. I heard her whimper, apparently my reaction had pleased her.

Bella's teeth ran down the column of my throat. My cock strained, throbbed, I wanted to put my fist through the wall. Maybe that would help some of this nearly unbearable tension. Fire ran down my spine, exploded behind my eyes. I focused on breathing so I wouldn't alert the entire fucking school to what we were doing. Another song had started, I knew it well. It really wasn't helping matters.

_"I can't see, it's a sexual reaction. You and me, its animal attraction. We should be in each other's arms tonight."_

Fuck yes, we would be. I just had to make it to that point. She growled against my skin, bit down hard again. "Bella," I managed to say through gritted teeth. It should have been a warning, instead the words sounded like a plea.

The torture continued as she came again. Possibly forgetting that she was on the verge of drawing blood, I raked my knuckles across brick to stay in control. Pain, more pain, I fucking needed her. Now. I couldn't be any fucking harder. I was all but boring through the restrictive leather.

_"She told me… baby, shut up now, let me put that mouth to work. She told me… I don't wanna be your friend, so don't get those feelings hurt. She told me… while we're sitting here wasting time, we could be underneath the sheets…"_

"Fuck me," she whispered.

Had I heard correctly? "Say that again?"

She pulled my hand up, took my fingers inside of her mouth and maintained eye-contact the entire time. Fuck. Grabbing my shirt, she turned us so I was against the wall. She unzipped my pants, I groaned in relief as I was freed from the tight pants.

"I said," she repeated, passion incarnate, "fuck me, Edward."

Dropping to her knees, she took me deep into her mouth with no hesitation. Something about this didn't feel right. Maybe it was the white dress, seeing her still flushed from her second orgasm, but I didn't want her kneeling in front of me. I didn't want her hurting her fucking knees on this gravel. She… what the _fuck_.

"Bella, c'mere." My hands were fucking shaking I wanted her so much. At moments like this, I really wished I didn't care. It would be so easy. I'd make her come, I'd get off, we'd lay together afterward. All of this second-guessing was driving me up a wall. Bella encouraged me to be myself, but even I knew that wasn't fucking good enough. I used people, manipulated them into doing what I wanted. Bella wasn't the type to be manipulated into anything, and I would never do that to her, but all the same… what if I were doing it without realizing it was happening?

Watching her get to her feet, confusion across her face, I felt everything click together. It didn't matter. If I were an ass, a gentleman, her boyfriend, none of it mattered. She had wanted to be my fucking friend first to ensure that this- my little flip out moment- didn't happen. Bella… cared about me in the same way I cared about her.

She didn't have these hangups. Whether she was pulling me into the computer lab, turning my world upside down on the dance floor, smiling at me in the kitchen wearing denim and flannel; she had no problems in adapting to… us. She wanted me to claim her and I was hesitating? Thinking? Now? What the fuck was wrong with me?

"Do you not want to, uh, do this?"

"That's not it," I put an end to that thought really fucking quickly.

"Good," she smiled. "Help me."

Backing me against the wall, she raised one of her legs to my hip. My cock strained toward her, and, thanks to her heels, she was the perfect fucking height to… I slid inside of her. Tight, warm, I physically ached to be consumed by her.

"I can't…"

"Relax," I assured her. Our angle was meant for me, too. She'd be able to help, and move, after I did. This, I knew, was mostly for my benefit. I didn't have much experience to draw from when it came to her and what she liked, but I had noticed her preoccupation with making sure I was satisfied, too. Over time I'd know her body inside and out. As for right now, I was learning.

The wall was harsh and rough against my back. Better this way, the pain helped me concentrate, to not thrust into her repeatedly until I came. She gripped my back, bit at my shoulder. I brought one of my hands down between us again. Every time I pushed into her again, my palm would brush against the front of her. Moving faster, more deeply into her, I felt her pulse race.

She leaned against me, resting herself against my body in order for me to gain more leverage. Not caring that the bricks dug into my back, that my shirt was probably shredding, I closed my eyes as goose bumps broke out along my skin. She slammed her hips onto me almost brutally. I gripped her waist, lowering myself slightly to move more fluidly. I felt her nails near my spine and knew that she was close. Her breath came in harsh pants- she opened her eyes, I opened mine. We made eye-contact for the briefest of moments. She turned her head using my neck to muffle her cries. I felt her clench hard around me before she came. Cursing, saying my name, she twisted against me.

"Harder," she groaned.

Being at school didn't leave very many possibilities. I'd love to lay her over the seat of my bike, but it was at the fucking door. I wasn't going to take her from behind, not right now. My jacket was near the motorcycle, I couldn't even lay her on the ground to take her that way. Fuck.

I wouldn't risk her dress or flesh, but… I pulled out of her and stripped out of my shirt. I laid it on the ground as I settled myself over it and pulled her down on top of me. Fuck it, this wasn't normally my favorite way of doing things, but it was swiftly rising in rank. She rested her knees on the balled up shirt. No one could say I wasn't trying to be considerate. Cold air, the warmth of Bella, I was dying slowly. She was impossibly tight in this position, I grit my teeth again as I felt every fucking inch slide into her.

She set a hard, fast, perfect pace. So fucking good, and so damn dangerous. Up, down, her fingers digging into my shoulders, teeth biting at my chest… shallow strokes that caressed the head of my cock steadily with her g-spot.

"Bella-"

"Almost… please… I'm-" She fucking snarled. Short low cries fell from her lips, she rocked her hips as the nearly unbearable pleasure assaulted her. She knew exactly how to get what she wanted and it was so fucking hot.

I tried to hold out as she descended from her orgasmic high, but it had been hours of wanting her. Finally feeling her come, tasting her, hearing my name in her happy, almost shocked, nearly fucking grateful tone…

"Edward, fuck yes!"

"Off." She was done, I grabbed her hips and lifted her off me. Bella immediately slid down, I felt her tongue along my shaft before she took me into her throat. That was it. The shock of nothing replacing warmth, my body protesting, mind screaming to finish inside of her… now heat, silken pressure... I got a fistful of gravel, the rocks bit into my hand as I lost control. She groaned, the vibration twisted my body, I saw white flashes of light behind my eyelids.

I twitched and laughed as she used her tongue lightly on the head of my cock before withdrawing me from her mouth. If I didn't feel so motherfucking fantastic, I'd be ashamed. Again. She had only found release twice. What the fuck was it about her? I'd care later, she was curling herself on top of me. Her arms went around my neck, she kissed my shoulder, my neck.

"We should move, huh?" Bella was a cuddler, she had done this in the meadow, too. Her voice was sated, happy. I really didn't want to go anywhere. I lifted a corner of her dress and studied the expanse of her leg, hip. No bruises, no marks from the wall on her back. Progress?

"Want to smoke once more before we go back in?" Fuck. Goddamnit. I tucked myself back into my pants and we both slid backwards so we sat against the wall. She had a small line of blood right below her knee.

"Gotta remember somehow," she grinned lighting me a cigarette. "I didn't do it on purpose, don't worry."

"I'm not worried," I pulled her in against me.

The music had stopped completely. It must be yearbook time, I wondered how many categories they'd been through with Bella and I right outside, and underneath the window?

"Hottest Couple nominees are: Jasper Hale and Alice Cullen, Ben Cheney and Angela Weber, Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley, Tyler Crowley and Lauren Mallory, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan."

What? What the fuck?

Bella stared at me in disbelief, "What the fuck, did-? Did they just-…"

"Did you submit our names?" I asked.

"No, did you?"

"I didn't."

It took me only a second, Bella reached the same conclusion.

"Alice," we said in unison.

**Authors Note 3:  
Acw1**, **DevilishAngel78, Bundysarah, xNOMx-  
**Thank you, thank you! You guys are incredible. I hope you enjoyed Edward and Bella's dance fun; more to come in the next chapter!

**Snickerz610-**  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! And yes, she's incredibly lucky there's no camera. I thought about it, maybe adding it in- but I don't think Charlie would be able too. I mean, he blushes over fashion decisions, right? Hahaha, you made me laugh though, thanks for the happy review, as always!

**LuvinJazz-  
**Thank you! Hope this chapter fulfilled anything you found… lacking? =D

**Sarix Angel-  
**Yay! I love masquerade parties, which is why I've become a fan of 'All the Right Moves' music video. Oh, and 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift. I like the way you guys do things. It'd be so much cooler to have privileges for the next year and a jacket rather than a yearbook!

**Bikergirl08-  
**I saw your name and groaned, haha. I apologize, by the way, for the whole bike-no-helmet thing… I don't know, I'm not entirely comfortable with the way things are. I'll probably go back and write in some safety. Edward can't want to protect her, guarantee her safety, and then take her on the bike that way. Thank you for continuing to read, though! Thanks for the dash of reality, its needed sometimes!

**Tahughes-  
**=) Thank you! I loved this picture, had to bring it in somehow! And Edward as a badass vampire, possibly a pirate sometime? …mmm, haha.

**Bunch2009-  
**That made me incredibly happy, thank you so much!

**Kitasky123-  
**Yeah, I know. Not in relation to some of the stories I've had to wait for, but I try to update at least every other day. Been really busy lately, not a lot of writing time. Gah! Driving me up a wall; so many ideas percolating!

**PatchsFallenAngel-**  
Ouch, my sympathies for your accident! I've had one or two, but nothing like yours! You take the time to review, the least I can do is write back. =) I promise I'll read your story, I've told other people this, too, and I haven't forgotten. I try not to read Twilight fanfic when I'm writing one. I'll review as soon as this story reaches an end; I want to give it my full attention and review as all of you do. =)

**AngelaSampedro99-  
**Oh god, I hate that a lot, too! I'm trying so hard not to let that happen. Its not easy, at all. I'm running on caffeine, instinct, and partial experience, but even some of those lead in an 'aww' kind of way. Not exactly the direction I'm going for, haha. If I pansy out, let me know immediately. O.o

**Cheshirekat516-  
**Awesome! Yeah, I had to update my wardrobe after all the searching I've done for the 'perfect outfit.' There are so many discount online goth sites, I love it! Ebay too, it rocks my world.

**BellaCullen9999-  
**Thanks for pointing that out, I'll have to go and look! I assume by your comment that you listen to similar music? Any band recs, I'm desperately in need of something new. And thank _you_ for taking the time to review!

**Allyzon-  
**I love Charlie, too. He's so much fun to write! Not saying anything against _my _dad, but- shh- Charlie's awesome and I hope to keep him in happy-parent mode for the rest of this story. Charlie angry? O.o, heh. Thank you, though, and I'm glad you liked the bike, too!


	20. Deep Inside of You

**Chapter 20  
- Deep Inside Of You**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:  
**I can't believe this is chapter 20. I had to double-take when I saved this document. I'm not being an ass and boasting, it really surprised me. I don't think the story is even halfway done yet! My god, I'm so sorry for having so many lemon-less chapters! I usually write the chapters in pieces. Post one, already started on the next. That way it always… moves, I don't know how to explain. No abrupt starting and stopping? It didn't really occur to me that 'hey, the readers DO have ends to chapters, they cant see the next half already written.' So, really, thanks so much for continuing to read and being patient with my dumb-fuckery! The story, in lemon-content regard, should pick up speed. ^_^  
**Authors Note 3: **  
**Brawler-  
**Afighter who depends on ferocity, toughness, and strength to win fights (often against, or involving, more than one other person). A brawler will rarely attempt to dodge a blow, preferring to take the hit for one of several reasons: To intimidate, to give them a better chance at grabbing and crushing/breaking the opponents limb, or even because pain makes them angrier and more energetic, thereby helping them fight better.

**Playlist  
**http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Pulse of the Maggots**- Slipknot  
**Headstrong**- Trapt  
**Crazy Bitch**- Buckcherry  
**Use Your Fist and Not Your Mouth**- Marilyn Manson  
**The Nameless**- Slipknot  
**Deep Inside of You**- Third Eye Blind

**Bella's Point of View**

Edward was in a supremely good mood. He had traded the bike for Jasper's truck. I didn't know very much about motorcycle mechanics, but the two of them talked for over half an hour while Alice and I chatted. In the end, Edward had thrown him the keys which, honestly, had rocked my world. They even gave each other a guy hug. Why? I had no idea. We'd be seeing them again in less than half an hour. Edward had made another friend?

I should have been exhausted, but I was way too hyped up to think about sleep seriously. It was chilly, yet I didn't feel the cold wearing Edward's leather jacket. He had insisted that I borrow it, at least until we got back to their house.

Edward had changed all of my views on dancing and dances. True, I enjoyed a good rave now and again. I definitely wanted to hit a metal concert with him, but school dances? Never before. Thanks to Alice's amazing planning, Edward's musical selections, and the decorations committee, the gymnasium had been turned into some sort of goth club. If I had known there would be black lights, I might have revised upon my outfit. Black light, white dress, I glowed and had stood out for all to see.

"_This_ is our song," I turned the volume up.

He had recognized the intro immediately. I felt tension rise swiftly in the car. This wasn't awkward or uncomfortable pressure, the energy rose and became all-consuming. I opened the window and lit a cigarette for both of us. It felt as though I should be doing something other than sitting in the passenger seat. The bass was heavy, aggressive. I thought back to our earlier break and felt my pulse race. He sang along to the beginning lyrics easily. I knew them by heart, too. The connection between Edward and I deepened as he met my eyes briefly before turning them back to the road.

Oh yeah. This song was perfect, it had Edward written all over it. It also saved about six hours of conversational time. I was learning more about him, watching him, screaming the words next to him than I ever would in a tamer environment.

"_I fight for the unconventional. My right, and its unconditional. I can only be as real as I can. The disadvantage is, I never knew the plan. This isn't the way just to be a martyr. I can't walk alone any longer." _

I joined him, _"I fight for the ones that can't fight. And if I lose, at least I tried!" _

He smiled predatorily at nothing, I felt my body clench. Seeing Edward truly enraged was not on my To-Do-List. He'd be deadly. If this was any indication of what lay under the surface, I admired his self-restraint. I could barely breathe with his waves of happily hostile energy mingling with mine, taking over the car.

"_I won't be the inconsequential! I won't be the wasted potential! I can make it, as severe as I can, until you realize you'll never take a stand!" _

He meant every word. His face had flushed with aggressive pleasure, I had to remind myself that we were in Jasper's truck. Ramming my fist into his dashboard probably wasn't the best idea. Songs like this made me want to thrash around, to go find a fight… if we weren't in someone else's vehicle, I'd have asked him to pull over.

"_We, __we__ are the new diabolic. We, we are the bitter bucolic. If I have to give my life, you can have it! We, we are the pulse of the maggots!" _

"_Do you understand?" _

"_Yes!" _I answered him.

"_Do you understand?"_

"_Yes!" _I meant every fucking word. Edward understood, I saw all of what he was. It was strange not having to be anyone but myself. I had buried my intellect, my self-consciousness, everything I had been. In Phoenix nothing mattered but crafty thinking, fighting skills, and knowing when to shut the fuck up and look the other way.

I had gained knowledge I wouldn't have acquired otherwise. Instead of finding me too masculine, Edward embraced who I was and what I could do. He made it alright. I didn't have to _do_ anything to gain his interest. Sure, we seduced, flirted, we had danced to several different beats, but now we had managed to find one that worked.

"_Say it again, say it again," _he had given up all pretense of watching the road. Precise, as always, the truck didn't veer from where he wanted us on the road.

"_We won't die!" _And, at this moment, I felt immortal. Death could come creeping around the corner, I'd face it with a snarky comment and a smile. I had been thinking a lot about what Edward said about dying and killing for me. There were very few people on my 'I'd die for you' list. There were even fewer on my 'I'd kill for you' list. I was on his, he had definitely made mine. Admitting something like that to someone was more than courtesy. Edward, Alice, Rose, and Charlie were the only other people on the latter list. It was easy to die for someone, everyone knew that, but it was no less meaningful to hear.

Saying I'd kill for him meant that I'd be willing to do everything else to ensure his safety. Go to jail, lie in court, protect him, have his back, be tortured- things had progressed too far for either of us to turn back now. The lists never lied. They were innate, I had met them and, instantly, I knew they'd be someone important in my life.

"_We fight 'til no one can fight us! We live, and no one can stop us! We pull when we're pushed too far, and the advantage is- the bottom line is- We never had to fight in the first place! We only had to spit back at their face! We won't walk alone any longer. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!" _

It was too soon for the 'love' word to get thrown around. I didn't want to say it in the heat of a moment. It had to be real, something I thought about, analyzed, until I was sure I meant it. I had told people I loved them far too many times without knowing what the emotion detailed. So, I acknowledged to myself, I cared about him more than 'like' but not quite at 'love' yet? Where the fuck did that leave me? It didn't matter, tonight wasn't about getting lost in thought. Tonight was all about seizing the moment.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled at him. "How could I not be?"

"I love that fucking song."

"Me too," I laughed. "Does that mean you put in your vote?"

"For it to be our song?"

"Fuck yes!"

"Of course," he flicked his cigarette out of the window, double checking that it hadn't blown back inside. "One of them, anyway."

"We can't have more than one."

"Why not?"

"I don't know… it goes against the rules? You wanted to go traditional."

"Fuck that," he snorted. "I want to do things _right_, and, by the end of this week, we'll have a fucking Ipod full of our music."

There were those words again. Panic wasn't crawling up my chest, I felt no need to hyperventilate. Edward and I were so alike anyway, it only made sense that we said 'our,' and 'we,' and 'us.' It was actually really nice not to be worrying, not anticipating emotions that I wasn't ready for. If I could only adapt this attitude all of the time, I'd never worry about anything ever again.

"I really mean it, you know." I had to be sure. This wasn't _thinking_, it was fact. My next opportunity might not be for awhile, I might as well speak my mind now when adrenaline rode us hard, chasing away all fears.

"_One_? I don't think I can deal with just _one_. Sorry, expand the list to… maybe… ten. I'll settle for ten songs."

"No, Edward," I rolled my eyes. "I'll buy the Ipod myself. I was referring to the song."

He went quiet, but his face didn't hold any of the tense-worried expressions that I'd innately started watching for. His eyes were greenish gray, I'd never seen that color before. It was breathtaking, especially with the shadows framing them. I should have taken Charlie's camera.

"I meant, and mean, it, too. The fact that you know… that you feel it, it bothers the fuck out of me. If I'd- you would never have needed to fight. No one, and I mean fucking _no one_ would _look_ at you in a shitty way, let alone challenge you."

"Same applies, though I wouldn't be able to show it in the same way."

It was fine for a guy to step in on a chick's behalf. Having a girl defend a guy? I'd do it, but only in dire circumstances. It would hurt his pride, tarnish his reputation; while I doubted he'd be any less… badass… the repercussion would be severe and debilitating. I had made peace with all of that a long time ago. Women could make it to the top in our world, but they had to be vicious, more intelligent than the guys without cluing them in to the fact that she _was_ smarter.

Guys could bitch about their battle scars, fresh wounds; Rosalie and I had shared looks any number of times because we were hurting, and we kept silent about it. Commenting led to jokes like, 'break a nail, princess?' 'Want to run home to daddy, have him kiss it better?' Yeah, I'd take the silence and force all pain to the side. I was tougher than those bastards, anyway.

My trip to Deer Valley, for all of the terror and bad memories associated with that night, had really improved my standing both in school and out of it.

'_Where the fuck have you been, Swan? Lazing on your ass at the Valley?"_

"_They let you out early on good behavior?"_

"_No," I had taken out my knife, traced a line across my throat. I didn't cut into my skin, but all four of them had taken a step back. "They let me go because I was too fucking _crazy _for them."_

"_Get the fuck outta here," James scoffed. I saw doubt on his face, he watched the trail my knife was taking. _

"_You have no idea what you're talking about," I raised an eyebrow, glared. _

_ Showing them my bruised and chaffed wrists, moving my hair to the side so they could see the marks on my neck, I saw them easily accept what I'd been saying. Gullible idiots, I hated James and his gang. He was a womanizer, thought that he was God's gift or something. His father was some affluent fuck and because James had rebelled, left luxury and wealth, all of us were supposed to fawn over him? Fuck that, he had yet to learn that no one offered respect here without a damn good reason. _

"_I was in Isolation, straight-jacketed and everything. They wanted to commit me somewhere else in Phoenix, a more secure facility. They didn't like the fact that I could fucking _snap _at any second." _

"_Yeah, yeah, okay. Don't get all riled up…" _

_ With the word 'snap' I had thrown my arms akimbo, all three of them retreated further. Probably more because of safety precautions than fear for my sanity, I _was _waving a knife around haphazardly. _

"_Want to sheathe that?" One of James' lackeys was actually pale. I had exaggerated a lot, but they didn't need to know that. The mental health employees had put me in Isolation, but only because they didn't know what else to do with me. I had the scars from fighting the stretcher, from resisting the three heavyset men as they wrestled me through the doors, from struggling against the straight-jacket._

_ That had been my fault, I realized now. Things might not have been as dire if I'd calmed down, allowed them time to gather information. All that had been on my mind was escape. I would never forget the terror I'd felt that they could lock me away and chuck the key. The Valley was no laughing matter, people disappeared there never to be seen again. _

"_I'll_ _sheathe _this_," James had cupped himself lewdly, advancing on me purposefully. _

"_Come near me, I'll cut your throat." _

_ It was only six at night, I should have been able to walk the fuck home without being accosted. Apparently I needed to set my safety clock back an hour, or never walk anywhere alone again. James was an inconvenience, in so many ways. He was my first big mistake. I paid for it by having him eerily stalk me across the city, show up in random places to catch me alone. I was always armed and prepared to throw down. _

"_You know I consider that foreplay, baby. No need to turn me on. I love'em psycho. Fucking crazy in bed, too," he paused, leered. "Well, maybe not _you_." _

_ Bastard. I liked it rough, but James brought it to a whole new level. Only by punching him across the face had I managed to get him off me. He was one of those guys that thought 'no' was secretly a yes. Again, my fault. I had found him attractive, so long as he didn't open his mouth. _

_ He had been fine earlier on. Complimenting my physical appearance, he gave me a single red rose that he tucked into my locker for me to find. When I finally gave in and admitted to myself that I wanted to know what he was like in bed… well, that experiment had gone horribly awry. _

"_Get the fuck away from me, James, or I'll fucking castrate you." I took out my second knife and adapted a fighting stance. Maybe if I humiliated him in front of his guys, he'd leave me alone for awhile. Chances were slim, he'd probably come back at me worse than ever. _

"_You can try, Baby-Bell. I knew you wanted it. Keep it on your shelf, fuck yourself at night with it." _

_ `"You're disgusting," I spat. "Come closer, I dare you. I'm faster, definitely more agile than you'll ever be. Do you really want to take that chance?" _

_ It was my last warning to him. He was lucky to have gotten them at all. _

_ James darted in trying to use his weight against me. I lashed out, cut a thin line near his inner thigh. That hadn't been where I was aiming, but I had been following blind instinct. Hit or miss, it didn't matter so long as I could prevent him from grabbing hold of me. The thought of him holding me down, his hand at my neck, crushing the air from my lungs… fuck no, that son of a bitch would never get me alone, or in his grasp, ever again._

"_Bitch!" He jumped back, staring at his torn pants. _

"_All I want is for you to leave me alone. That's it." Threatening him, goading him on now would be a bad idea. There were so many things I wanted to say. Part of me wanted to force his hand, to make him truly hurt me. I could have him put away for a long time, or killed him myself, either way worked. _

_ My dark side wanted nothing more than to see my knife coated in his blood, his skin turn pale as I watched him die. James, for all of his fuckery, didn't pose much of a threat. He was an annoying, shallow little boy who desperately needed to grow up. _

"_Fine," he snapped, gathering the remnants of his pride, "rest easy tonight, Swan. Next time, I'll fucking finish this." _

_ Thankfully, I had left way before any of his empty threats were put to the test. It still bothered me that he was out there, I should have tied those loose ends together before boarding the plane. If he ever set foot in Forks, I'd put a bullet through his skull. _

Edward. Just thinking about him made me smile. It would be my fight, he would abide by the rules though he'd hate every second. If someone were to come dredging up from his past, I'd have to stand by and watch. I wouldn't be able to interfere, that would be his fight, just as facing James would be mine. If something were to happen to me, if Edward caught him alone after, my smile widened. James would be dead. He wouldn't hesitate, I'd seen some of the death stares he shot at Newton, Crowley, any guy who looked at me for more than a few seconds.

I had felt his arm tense once when Mike touched my leg. I remembered freezing; was he really going to throw a punch? I needed to help him get over that fear, too. Between Stanley and Mallory, my plate was full. I didn't even really consider them a threat. They tested my patience, and my faith in humanity, but I couldn't kill them because of it. So long as they stayed out of my way and didn't try and seduce Edward away from me, I had no qualms with any of them.

Edward's views, on the other hand, were even more black and white. His eyes were in constant motion when we were in public. Its certainly wasn't a complaint, I did the same thing. It was actually comforting, in a strange way, that he was just as paranoid. The process only took a fraction of a second. Flick… face, size up, study. 'Can I take them? What are the chances they'd kick my ass? Do they seem the type to fight dirty?' If the answer was yes to any of the above, and more, that person was either avoided or, if they were to be in the same space for awhile, routinely tracked.

There was so much leashed aggression in Edward. That he had been used as a bodyguard when he was eleven still hurt me. No wonder he moved so purposefully, assuredly. He didn't fear anyone. Nothing aside from death would keep him down. His career choice of bodyguard fit him supremely well, at least in a physical sense. He was naturally defensive: Take them out before they have a chance to attack.

Alice had been a very, very lucky little girl. She couldn't have found anyone more capable of protecting her than Edward. His body language screamed 'stay away,' and he shielded Alice from harm without weakening her as a person.

Her decision to start a relationship with Jasper, though probably never verbally confirmed, hadn't ruffled Edward in the slightest. At least not that I had noticed. Whether it was a good thing or a mistake, Edward didn't try to influence her decision. He made a few underhanded comments, but… that was Edward. I knew he had judged Jay on a whole range of categories, but after the two of them talked, Jasper was one of us. Somehow, somewhere in the past two weeks, we had formed one dysfunctional-ass family. Alice felt like the sister I'd always secretly wanted, her early morning hyperactivity aside. Jasper's easy Southern charm, his chivalry; he had told me to consider him my new big brother.

Catching him in the hall, I had been prepared to go through a few of my 'I have to know if you're going to hurt my friend' questions. He jumped the gun completely by stating that he'd been looking for a girl like Alice, and he wasn't stepping down no matter how many people had a problem with them courting. Well, fuck. _Courting? _

I saw the truth in his eyes, the tensing in his body. He wouldn't fight me, but he was prepared to elaborate, emphatically, if I doubted him. Unspoken communication like he and I shared that day can't be faked. I had shaken his hand. There was no need to say anything else.

It was then he asked why I felt the need to protect her. I shrugged, even I didn't know the answer to his question. He asked, in a much nicer way, if I I'd ever had someone protect me, who wasn't trying to get in my pants. A brother, so to speak. My answer? Nope, and I didn't need someone to _protect_ me.

'Too bad', he smiled and hugged me. My first reaction was to push him away. What the fuck? Who sneak-hugs someone? 'I like you more, just meeting you today, than I like my own half-sister. I'm not propositioning you, mind, I'm just letting you know- like it or not- I'm watchin' out for ya.'

'I appreciate that, but it's not necessary. What about me screams, 'I need a man because I'm too weak to handle things myself?'

'You _won't_ ask for help, and you _don't _need anyone. That's why I'm steppin' up. No brother figure in your life? That's one of the damn saddest things I've ever heard, darlin.''

And with that, I was speechless. He tipped his hat at me, I gave him a hug, and we had gone our separate ways. Had it been anyone else… if his tone had been condescending… no, Jasper made it work. My mind clicked. Jasper, brother figure; it was done. He was now _someone _in my life.

As for Edward, well, I was contemplating love after, give or take, two weeks of having met him. It was perfectly fitting for him to have the greatest effect. The way he carried himself, dealt with problems, of course he would plow through all of my defenses. I, apparently, had the same effect on him. I couldn't believe that it was 'meant to be,' but it was nice to be on the same wave-length with someone.

"You got quiet," he commented. "Not complaining, but everything's alright?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"Ok." He had turned the music down, his own way of letting me know I could share if I were so inclined. I leaned my head on his shoulder to let him know that I'd talk to him later. "About your comment earlier," he said after a few minutes had passed, "I'd put your safety before mine, but, if it were a situation I had no experience in, whereas you did, I'd follow you. I would be... your second."

It was another difference to note. Edward used 'second' as second in command. I had defined it as stepping in for someone if they were hurt. Good to know, that could have had interesting results.

"Wow." His response surprised me only in that it was so rarely heard.

"I told you," he crooked smiled at me. "I trust you, y'know?"

"Yeah," The feeling from before grew. I saw the scale tip more in favor of the dreaded 'love' word, and I blamed Edward. That smile, the one that sent all of my walls crashing down. I saw Edward glimpses of who he was before all of the violence, the hell that had become his life.

"Besides, we have a bargain. You bought my services."

"What _services_? Edward, I might kick your ass…"

"That I'll be your… I refuse to say gladiator. Your…"

"Male sex slave?"

"I told you-"

"Right," I refused to be side-tracked. "How about male love-slut?"

"Bella…"

"Bad boy, taking a tone like that with me."

"I'm going to pull the fuck over in a second." He tried so hard to look stern, I covered my mouth to try and hide silent laughter. He was pointing a finger at me and everything. I saw him cough to cover his amusement, but I had seen it.

I caught my breath. "Now that you've reminded me, there were _terms_ to the services you so readily offered. I haven't seen you in action, so to speak. I'm not obligated to give you anything, yet."

"You've seen me in action," he raised his eyebrow at me.

I stared back at him with, what I hoped was, a very feminine smile on my face.

"Fine, fine, you want to see a fight? I'll give you a fight."

"Edward, you know I was joking…?"

"Of course," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm serious, don't get into a real fight because you feel the need to prove something. The stipulations? You can have them, free of charge."

"That's considerate of you," he lit another cigarette. "I want to _earn _it. We negotiated and I haven't lived up to my side of the bargain."

We were back at their house. He was out of the car and opening my door before I had finished gathering my things together. Alice and Jasper were standing in the garage, Jas was studying all of their tools and machinery enthusiastically.

"What do you feel like doing?" he asked.

"Getting an answer to my question," I put my hand on his chest. "You won't, seriously, hurt anyone because of-"

"Not because of you," he kissed me quickly. "And no, I won't seriously hurt anyone."

"Wrong inflection," I sighed.

"You guys want to hang in the backyard for awhile, listen to music?"

"Absolutely," Alice answered him. She was perching on the motorcycle seat with both legs curled underneath her.

"Sounds fine by me," Jay agreed. "Ya'll smoke?"

Edward and I smiled at one another before he answered, "We _smoke_, too."

This wasn't the time to hold a, possible, argument. Edward was with me for the night. Chances were, any fighting he planned to do would wait until morning.

"I've seen ya'll with cigarettes," Jasper laughed, reached for his wallet. "I've never tried it. How much would I owe you?"

"No, man, don't worry about it," Edward said over his shoulder, already on his way to the backyard. "We'll talk more after you guys are fully moved in."

Alice and I shared equal looks of shock. What the fuck had that been about? Edward had let him borrow the bike _and_ score free weed? I wasn't complaining, Alice wasn't going to comment, either. The key to Edward's acceptance lay in cars, bikes, and Alice. Jasper was dating Alice and hadn't proven himself untrustworthy, and he was, I assumed, well-versed in mechanics. All factors led to success.

We heard music start. Edward had connected the speakers… no, he hadn't. The house had speakers, they weren't huge movie-set sized, but- wow. They had cleared trees in order to make a backyard. A very large backyard complete with a Jacuzzi under awning, a very nicely sized garden, and a trail that led to the woods. And yet, for its perfectly aligned ornamentation's, all of the modern blended with the rural setting. It had been expertly designed, I'd definitely need to ask Esme and Alice about redecorating, Charlie would love it.

"We're still going places," Alice pointed at Jasper while Edward rolled. "You can't lay around stoned with _them_ all day."

"Darlin'," Jasper grinned charmingly, "I wouldn't want to lay around with anyone but you."

Go, Jas. That had been really smooth; I saw him flush a little. Yeah, I'd had one or two of those moments, too. When a statement was said without it having gone through the filter, it either ended badly or fantastically. In this case, Jas had scored. Alice blushed, laughed. Very nicely done, it was incredibly romantic without actually giving her an answer. She rolled her eyes, sighed at all of us.

"Sure you don't want to join the party?" Edward held the blunt out to Alice.

"Peer pressure," she slapped his arm. "And no, thank you very much, pot slows you down. I don't want to be sluggish all the time."

"Are you implying that I'm slow?"

"No," Alice rubbed at the red mark she'd caused. "You're less intense, more manageable. Keep smoking."

"So you're saying _I'm_ slow, then?" I smiled to let her know I was only joking.

"Nope," she grinned wickedly. "You're less prone to violent attacks, and I think you're funny stoned.."

"Wait, what violent attacks? I haven't attacked anyone."

"Yet. You almost punched Lauren on your first day. You've actually pushed me behind you when Jessica and Lauren came to talk to me… need I continue? I have a fun hospital story to share."

"Fine," I glared at all of them. "Are you done rolling yet?"

Edward was laughing, "Sure, babe. Here ya go."

Alice's eyebrows disappeared into her hair. It seemed as though she were close to spontaneously combusting. Edward looked over at her, his eyes moving slowly away from where I was chewing on my lip. I saw her expression even out immediately though her cheeks were still flushed red.

"Yeah, I said 'babe.' What about it?" Edward didn't miss anything. He shrugged subtly at me, I smiled discreetly and nodded. Why not tell them? I shouldn't have been surprised by his approach. Secrets weren't really Edward's thing, it seemed. Now that we were dating and he wanted to _speak to Charlie_, neither had no qualms about people in school knowing. It might not be _official_ yet, but starting with Alice and Jasper was considerate of him. As Edward had said once, they'd find out eventually.

"Oh my god!" Alice erupted, throwing her arm around Edward, he held his arm far out for Jay to grab the blunt.

"Its really not that…"

"Don't you dare, Edward! This is a huge moment for me, and you, of course. Oh my god! You said _babe_," she had a hand over her heart. If she started crying, I don't know what I'd do. Jasper seemed to sense the same thing, he put an arm around her shoulders and passed the blunt to me.

"Uh, I don't know why you're- we _are_ dating, Alice."

"_Dating_?" She darted under Jasper and wrapped her arms around my waist. Jumping up and down, I had to bend my knees to keep up with her. I felt like an ass.

"Alright then," Edward took the blunt from me. "Are all of you good?"

"I was done after the first hit," Jasper laughed. "Thanks for that."

I didn't bother replying. Putting two cigarettes in my mouth, I lit them. Passing one to Jasper, one to Edward, I had to pause at his darkened expression.

"Did you not want one?"

"That was hot," he smirked.

"I know," I licked my bottom lip and maintained eye-contact with him.

"I love this song!" Alice cranked the volume and I immediately felt my body warm.

"Me too," I started moving; fuck it. We had just come from a dance.

"_Hey! You're a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good I'm on top of it. When I dream, I'm doing you all night. Scratches down my back to keep me right on." _

I met Edward's eyes again and ran my hands down my breasts and hips, inviting him to join me. We couldn't be nearly as open with the way we danced, not like at FHS. We had an audience. Partaking in the fun though they were, it wouldn't be appropriate.

"This isn't one of our songs."

"Why not?"

I used one of their cemented awning bars as a dance-pole. Thanks to a few free dance classes, courtesy of Rosalie, I knew the basics to pole-dancing. I didn't feel slutty or cheap for having learned such skills. America had embraced the new form of 'fitness.' They even offered removable poles that screwed into a ceiling for those who wanted to learn in the privacy of their own home. I had never bought one, though. Explaining to Renee, having Phil want to watch; no thanks, I could always go to the dance studio if I wanted to learn more.

As I climbed four inches off the ground, straddling the pole carefully, I saw Edward's eyes darken. This wasn't lust. What was he feeling?

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah," he curbed whatever emotion I had seen. "Did you ever dance… professionally?"

These were not the best shoes to be fucking around in. I was going to fall if I stopped concentrating. Dismounting gracefully, Edward gripped my arm as I rubbed my back along the pole.

"No, I was never a stripper." I could see why he'd be upset. Some of the things I had told him about my past weren't pleasant. Then again, his stories weren't exactly bedtime material, either. "Rose, again. She found a really awesome old dance studio that had started offering pole-dancing as a new 'get in shape' deal. The first three classes were free, she thought it would help my confidence or something. We never, y'know, went onstage with what we learned."

"Oh." Some of his tension eased, he smiled sheepishly. "It wouldn't matter if you had," he added.

Standing near the speakers, using him instead of the pole, Alice and Jasper wouldn't be able to hear us.

"I know," I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You weren't pissed at the thought of me dancing, you were pissed because it would have been necessary? I mean, the thought of me having to strip for money bothered you rather than me having the knowledge?"

"… yeah," he ran a hand through his hair. "Jesus christ."

"What am I missing here?"

"You fucking nailed it," he chuckled. "Dead on, no bullshit, one-hundred percent accurately."

"Thanks," I grinned. "Now, why can't this be one of our songs?"

"Because its about a guy paying for sex, a woman using her body to get ahead in the world."

"And…"

"That's not how I'd consider our… relationship. Would you?"

"No," I shook my head emphatically. "I listen to lyrics, too, but sometimes its cool to have songs with memories attached to them. And... just so you know, I'm adding all of the music that played at the dance."

"Ahead of you," he smirked, thinking about what I had said. "I made a copy of the Playlist."

The song ended, another started immediately.

"Edward…"

"Its fine, Ali. Do you really not like this song? We can change it."

"Just don't get _weird_, okay?

"Weird?" What the hell did that mean?

"You'll see, maybe," Alice started jumping up and down in time to the beat.

Edward grabbed me and rubbed his hips against mine. He really liked this song. His lips were on my neck, he nibbled across my jaw line. In an old ballroom maneuver, he clasped my hand, sent me away from him, back, and helped me twirl. It was strange, yet it fit, even to this song.

"Weird, she says?"

"_Alive_," he answered me. His eyes were bright with emotion, the intensity on his expression made my pulse race. I understood exactly what he meant.

We all moved closer to one another. Jasper knew how to rock out, country boy though he was. Alice and I danced together for awhile, Jas and Edward faced off. There was a huge difference between how chicks moved to music like this, and how guys chose to express themselves.

"Uh…" Alice paused, I turned so I could see Edward and Jas. They were facing one another, the same easy, yet serious expression on both of their faces. "Guys?"

I held Alice back, if the two of them were going to fight, I didn't want her to get hurt in their cross-fire.

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing," Edward replied for him, amused.

Darting in he took a loose swing at Jasper's shoulder. Jas easily moved out of the way and knocked Edward's arm to the side. I sat on the ground, Alice followed suit. They were only play-fighting, I wanted a front row seat for it.

"Cowboy versus pirate," Alice giggled.

Now that she mentioned it, yea, this was really surreal. Jasper in a prom suit, cowboy had on his head, black cowboy boots to complete his outfit. Edward in his torn and shredded buccaneer-type shirt, black leather pants, his ink showing through the rents in his clothes.

"They aren't going to hurt one another," she stated. "This is good for him."

"Him who?"

"Edward," she propped her chin on her fist. "He doesn't have any friends aside from you and me."

"You want to make this real, man?" Edward challenged, "Take a shot!" Continuing to circle one another, they weren't in a lethal frame of mind, but they weren't entirely playing anymore, either.

"Its okay," Alice reassured herself.

"The bike and the pot," I reminded her. "They're not going to be the shit out of one another."

I had never seen Edward fight, but I knew he wouldn't do any actual damage. I understood him, his code was my own. Really fighting friends, hurting them, it never happened. I wondered if Jasper was on Edward's list. It wasn't likely that Edward would go out of his way to save Jay's life, yet I couldn't see him abandoning Jas in a high-stakes situation. If for no other reason than Jasper's new tie to Alice, Edward would protect him if need be.

… I heard the sound, knew it well, but my mind was running in slow motion. Edwards head flew to the side, he wiped blood from his lip and laughed. Jasper hit him? Jasper had _hit_ him? Son of a bitch! Alice's hand on my arm helped keep me calm. They were only playing.

"Alright then," Edward grinned darkly.

Maybe.

Cracking his neck, he faced Jasper and sized him up. He nodded subtly to himself, his eyes a dark gray. He was now in a real fighting stance, hands fisted. Moving agiley, Edward waited for an opportunity.

There, I noticed it too. Jasper left his ride side open as he side-stepped. Edward took full advantage of the three second window. His fist flew, connected with Jasper's stomach. Jay recovered well and lashed out. Edward was quicker. He deflected the blow meant for his jaw again.

"C'mon, Jas! Kick his ass!" Alice was cheering; Edward raised his eyebrow but didn't look away from his opponent.

"No contest, Edward. You own this bitch," I felt compelled to add.

He smirked, took the offensive. It was an even fight; Edward had more muscle, but Jasper was wiry. They were both about the same height. Jay was a scrapper, Edward was a brawler. He wasn't using any dirty fighting moves, it'd be over in about a minute if he were.

Jasper took off his vest and shirt, threw them to Alice. Edward did the same. I couldn't help raising the soft fabric to my face, inhaling. Mmm… both of the guys were looking at us. Jasper's eyes were gentle as Alice wrapped herself in his shirt. Edward, on the other hand, looked as though he wanted to consume me.

Both shook their heads and turned their attention back to the fight at hand. This wasn't in any way dangerous. It was for show, for fun. If it were a real fight, it wouldn't take nearly as long, there would be no distractions, and they wouldn't be laughing.

Edward started with an uppercut to the face, Jasper evaded and retreated two steps to stay out of range. Edward didn't follow. The two men faced one another, adrenaline evident on both of their faces. Edward's eyes were bright with pure enjoyment. His muscles were taut, so much strength in his lean frame. Fuck the fight, I wanted him. Now. He knew what he was doing, and he executed attacks and counters fantastically well. Both of them were stripped to the waist, Jay had a farmer's tan.

Taking four steps back, lowering his shoulders, head up; I knew what was coming next. They rushed one another. Jasper had misjudged, Edward's shoulder caught him in the stomach. Jasper doubled over far as he could with their death-grip on one another. He punched Edward twice in the ribs, once more. His face was red, teeth grit in determination.

Getting one foot behind Edward's, Jas managed to knock him off-balance. Grabbing hold of each other the way they were, Jasper not centering himself, they both went down. Edward hit the ground back first. The air was expelled from his lungs harshly. Jasper saved himself by falling to one knee next to him. That had to hurt a little, Edward had time to sit up, get to his feet.

It had been a ploy! Jasper shot up, his fist connected with the corner of Edward's eye.

"Motherfucker!" He swore while shaking his head quickly, probably to alleviate blurred vision.

Alice squeaked as Jasper's entire body twisted. He didn't fall, Edward hadn't used anywhere near full force behind his punch to Jas's chin.

"Guys! Guys! Yearbook pictures!"

Both of them turned to face her, amused. I was proud of Edward. So much damage could have been inflicted. Instead, they laughed and did the 'guy-handshake-backpound.' No winner, no loser; they had saved pride and had fun just fucking around.

Alice quickly took Jasper's arm and waved goodbye to us meaningfully. I laughed, we'd be doing the same thing in about five minutes. Jas swung her into his arms, balanced her on his shoulder as a trophy.

"Do you give a shit?" Edward pointed at his eye.

"Not at all."

Just the very corner and a small portion of skin near his temple was bruised. His lip wasn't bleeding anymore, though it had split.

"So? Going to nurse me back to health?"

"I don't know…" I walked a circle around him, ran my nails gently across his back. I felt him shiver, the adrenaline still running high. "… You seem fine to me."

"You're right," he lifted me by the waist and dug his fingers into my sides.

"Edward!" I struggled against him and laughed helplessly. Bastard, using cheap tricks and tickling against me.

"That's right, baby," he said into my ear. "Scream for me."

"Fuck you," I giggled.

"Not a problem!" He threw me over his shoulder and sprinted into the house. I waited until we were nearing the stairs. He wanted to play dirty? Fine by me. I raked my nails hard down his back. Flexing my fingers, my nails gained deeper purchase on his skin.

"_Shit_," he swore. I bit back a moan as his entire body shuddered. "You're so completely paying for that."

Grabbing my legs with his right hand, he slid me across his chest so I lay horizontally in his arms. He gathered his strength, I felt his entire body tense. Was he going to throw me? No fucking way, he wouldn't just _toss_ me, would he?

No, I should have known better. He took the steps two at a time. Fuck. I knew he was strong, but… the door to his room flew open, he kicked it shut behind us. On the way to his bed, he hit one of the buttons on his stereo. Music blasted, I laughed as he cursed and carried me back over to turn the volume down a little.

"Been awhile since I've used CD's."

"You could have put me down the first time," I bit his neck.

"Could have," he agreed. "You want me to put you down?"

"Uh-"

"Ok, you asked me to…"

I clung to him, terrified that he'd just drop me. Son of a bitch. He laughed, carried me to the bed and crawled on top of me. His hands framed my head, his body pushed me into the mattress. I couldn't escape. Crafty bastard.

"Take off your dress," he rested back on his knees. Drawing the hem of my dress over my head, I had to lean up so it wouldn't catch around my neck. I felt him ease his fingers around the garter on my thigh. He slowly brought it down my leg. The white lace was rough, its slight tickling made me squirm. He left my heels on and moved back up, his hands were rough on the outside of my legs.

"Slipknot," I whispered into his ear. The song was unmistakable. I felt his heartbeat pick up speed, too. What once might have been slow had no chance of making a come back. He withdrew the knife from the top of my shoe, ran his fingers across my calves, the back of my knees. I was high, happy, energized. This was fucking incredible. I wanted him to take, not to worry, to just give _in_.

"_Obsession, take another look! Remember, every chance you took. Decide, you live with me… or give up any thought- you want to be free!"_

Had he planned this? My instincts said no, it was just a really strange coincidence. No other Slipknot song, except for Vermillion… He flicked my knife out, drawing me back to the present.

"_I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you. I know, the only thing I ever really loved… was hate!" _

His eyes met mine, I knew he felt the same way. I turned my head to the side, facing him, and lowered my arms to the bed, palms up. He could rip me open, tear me apart; I wouldn't care. I trusted him and knew he wouldn't hurt me, but if he needed proof? Well, he _did_ have a knife…

"_I want you, I need you, I won't let anybody have you. Obey me, believe me, just trust me. Worship me, live for me. Be grateful now, be honest now, be precious now. Be mine, just love me." _

I breathed deeply feeling the edge of my blade. Edward laughed darkly. He cut through the straps of my bra. I tipped my head back further, smiled at him. He turned the knife so the blade wasn't facing me, but ran the cold metal along my skin.

"You'd let me, wouldn't you," he whispered. "If I were to draw blood, you'd fucking love it."

"Right now, yes," I didn't bother to lie.

The knife continued along my neck, he flicked my bra to the side, down my stomach, toward my hips. He cut through the white lace easily, tossed it behind him. I heard a more solid thunk, he had thrown the knife somewhere next to him.

"Edward," I grabbed his shoulders and brought him back up.

"_Don't go, I never wanted anybody more than I want you. I know, the only thing I ever really loved was… hate!" _

He kicked off his boots, unzipped his pants, and shrugged out of his shirt in record time. I took advantage of our break and got to my hands and knees. Looking at him over my shoulder, I felt myself shudder as I watched him move toward me.

"_Something has to give, something has to break. Omnipresent, fingers on your skin, let me savage in."_

Edward grabbed my hair at the base of my neck and twisted my head around so I was facing him. He raised me slightly, supported my torso, and slid into me with one sinuous thrust. I couldn't get away, didn't want to get away. His arms held me motionless, his legs were on either side of mine. Holding my head against his neck and chest, he said the words again. He moved in and out of me quickly, forcefully.

"You're mine," he growled.

I licked across his bottom lip and tasted blood. I traced the bruise at the corner of his eye, several other small scars on his cheek. Edward groaned, and increased his pace. The pressure was building... I rocked my hips back to meet his, writhed against him so he'd release one of my arms. So fucking frustrating, I'd go over the edge if give me two inches of space.

He let go of my hair, bent me over again. I felt his teeth on my neck. He bit a line across my shoulders. Right under my shoulder blade, I felt him pause. He withdrew slowly, I clenched around him desperately. So fucking close.

It continued, his slow withdrawal; feeling his calloused fingers at my hips, his strength holding me captive to nearly unbearable pleasure. I fought him, fought to get the hard, fast, so fucking good pace back. He bit down, slammed into me; I screamed his name. It felt as though something had… I had been dragged down, up, whichever direction it was, and thrown off the edge. My body jolted against him both protesting and wanting more. My vision blurred, I panted for breath.

_"You're mine,"_ I screamed along with the song as it ended.

Edward laughed sinisterly, releasing his teeth from my skin. I felt him moving us, my back was flat against the mattress. He held my arms down, still moving inside of me, he spread my legs further apart.

"Will you stay, or will you move?" I felt the pressure on my arms ease. I froze, waiting.

"Which would make you happier?" That seemed the safest way to go. If there was anything I could say to make him keep going, to make me fly again, all he had to do was tell me.

He made me guess. Leaning up, he released my arms. Shallow teasing strokes, that's all he gave me. Fuck. Bastard. My body itched, ached, for more than he had already given.

"I won't move," I said finally.

"Bella," his fingers teased across my chest. Circling, his touch like fire, he ran his thumbs lightly over my nipples. "I _want_ you to move. … just not your arms."

He gave me one hard thrust, I closed my eyes so fucking ready to come again… instead, Edward went still. "I fucking love seeing you wet, and wanting, and pleading… for _me_."

I bit my lip to stifle a moan. His voice was dark, wicked, my hips bucked as he moved his hand across my stomach. I twisted against him when he reached a sensitive place above my hipbone. He made me laugh when he did the same thing on the opposite side.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as best I could without moving my upper body. He shifted, I groaned at the fleeting pleasure. I felt him shudder as I clenched hard around him in anticipation of more, needing more.

"Are you close?"

"No," Edward's hand moved lower, played across the closely shaven, thin line of hair right above… "You are, though."

My back arched off the bed, I cried out. Sensation ripped through me with every circle he made across my clit. I couldn't contain it, my mind wasn't able to keep up. I came; writhing, my hips surged upward to meet his every thrust.

He was a fucking master at providing pleasure, yet I could intuitively feel that he was holding back. It could be so much better, more intense, I wanted to fucking shatter. I wanted him to feel it, to stop restraining himself. He didn't have anything to prove. This pleasure was one-sided, grateful as I was for being on the receiving end, I wanted him to give in, let go, find ecstasy.

"Edward," I clutched at his shoulders. I met his eyes, demanding, "all of it. I want it all."

He paused for a second; a dark, possessive expression crossed his face. I wasn't afraid, the pressure built again, slower this time. Edward rested my knees against my chest, held me open as he got to one knee on the bed.

_ Shit. Fuck. _

He slammed into me, I took him in as deep as he could go. White light flashed behind my eyes, my body strained to go over the edge again. He was in control again, but this time he wasn't teasing or restraining himself. He hit my g-spot once, four times. I fucking _flew._ Twisting against him, trying to get closer, he kept the flame burning even as I descended from another mind-shattering orgasm. Rubbing against the front of me with every stroke, _yes_. So motherfucking _good! _I twined my fingers into the pillow, bit my lip. How loud had I been? Dear fuck.

"I want to hear you," he growled.

I moved upward, lowered my legs to the bed and wrapped them around his waist. He shifted so both of his knees were between mine. Bracing himself on one arm above me, I heard him curse.

"Bella_, fuck. _Babe, you've _gotta-_." He placed my arms around his neck, took one of my nipples into his mouth and bit down. I exploded again, electricity ran across my skin. Was that my heart? My body pulsed, throbbed, he continued until I had somewhat caught my breath.

Moving shallowly, I could barely feel him within me. I didn't want this position anymore. He clenched his teeth, body shaking. The column of his throat was taut as his eyes rolled back and closed. It shouldn't have been possible, but I felt myself climbing toward release again. Seeing him like this, I wanted to drive him into a frenzy. I wanted him to feel what it was like, give him back some of what he had given me.

"Edward," I whispered.

Wrapping my arms more firmly around his neck, I pushed him backward so he was forced to sit on the bed. He groaned, shuddered, as he slid out of me. Waiting to see what I would do, his eyes blazed deep green.

"I want to hear you," I echoed him from earlier.

I sat in his lap, my knees against his sides, legs holding him close to me. Raising myself slightly, I positioned myself over him. He rested his weight on his forearms, leaning back to give me more space. Not wanting to torment him, I took him inside of my body in one swift downward stroke. Keeping the swift pace I had started, I focused on him, his body. His breath came in harsh pants, I used his shoulder as my leverage point. My chest slid across his every time I bucked my hips.

"So fucking tight," he rasped, "hot, I need you to come one more time."

"Close," I moaned. He sat up, the new angle caused my clit to brush against the base of his cock. Whatever it took to get him off, I was more than happy to comply.

This wouldn't do it. I felt him bracing himself to hold back. This was supposed to be about him, not me.

"Edward, please," I implored. Take what you want, break me, use me to make you come. The words died in my throat, but he seemed to understand what I was pleading for.

He gripped my hips, raised and lowered me forcefully. Starting at my neck, he swirled his tongue over my pulse. I moved with him, the bed creaked harshly underneath us. He made his way across my jaw, licked across my lips before his tongue found mine.

I moaned into his mouth, swallowed the sound of him saying my name again. Unlike the other times I had come, this slithered throughout my body, slow and insistent. Release shivered across my skin, down my spine. His body jerked once, two times. He clutched me to him, tore his mouth away from mine and buried his face into the curve of my neck and shoulder.

If he bit down he'd draw blood. I was done, couldn't possibly come again. Edward seemed to sense that, too. He lost control completely, as though the dam had crumbled under all of the insistent pressure, he lifted my hips and surged into me one last time. I laughed in sheer pleasure. The force of his release… my legs left the bed as he supported me fully. He swore, growled, his arms trembled around me as he came inside of me. His skin was hot to the touch. I relaxed and went pliant in his hold, his muscles hard, like iron, his grip hadn't eased yet.

My hands were shaking, I laughed again as he lowered me to the bed. I wasn't the only one shaking. For the first time ever, I saw Clumsy Edward. He withdrew himself from within me, reached for his shirt, and missed.

Blinking once or twice, wiping perspiration from his brow, he focused on the shredded white shirt. He wasn't able to speak yet. I was elated, rapturous, so fucking happy, and satisfied, and… on top of the fucking world. Sex had never been like that, I felt connected to him. The word 'love' filtered hazily through my mind.

Still too soon to admit anything, I remained quiet as he collapsed next to me. I couldn't help smiling like a fool. He passed me the shirt, I slid under the covers and discreetly wiped at the inside of my thighs. I ached in such a good way, my body would be feeling this tomorrow.

"Tired?" He got under the blanket, too, so that we were touching skin-to-skin again.

"Mmm," I curled into him, one of my legs going over his waist as he pulled me closer. It was a nice feeling. Being safe, held, the smell of him, us, filling the entire room. The taste of him still on my lips, he surrounded me. I was his, he was mine, we… were. It felt right, incredibly good. There was nothing to be afraid of.

"Sleep, Bella," his voice vibrated deep in his chest.

Cushioning me against his chest, I listened to his heartbeat slow, even out. His fingers stroked up and down my back as I drifted off to sleep.

**Authors Note:**  
Those last few pages were exhausting to write. Note, Bella is on the pill. For the sake of reality, I have to add- it doesn't 100% protect against pregnancy. Since I don't want this fic to go in strange places, Bella and Edward are protected. I've had one or two scares, its not foolproof, guys. However, about the lemon, I hope there's not too much repetition… on to thank you's!

**Authors End Note:  
Sarix Angel-  
**Your friend sounds awesome! I'd love to have an Alice-friend, though the predictions could be fucking terrifying, and awesome at the same time. You're lucky, =D, and your experiences sound fun as hell!

**Tina062093, iloveedward, acw1, molto belle, litany gone, TwiligterMindBodyAndSoul**, **HollieDotCom, SweetNonsense-  
**Thanks for all of the guesses, comments, and, of course, your reviewing in the first place! Ya'll made me laugh, think, and revise; all of you are incredible, thank you very much again!

**LuvinJazz-  
**Me too! I skipped out on a lot of dances, went to raves instead. Maybe that's why their school dance is so, uh, different. I didn't have any other experience to draw upon except for awkwardly staring at people, awful music, no alcohol… psh. =P

**Kitasky123-  
**Ouch, five months? I'm so sorry!  
I don't know if they'll win the contest. Part of me wants them to because, well, they make me happy. The other part of me knows it wouldn't be entirely fair considering neither of them care, haha. Not sure yet, thanks for the support, though! I hope you find the time to get back into writing!

**Fanficaddict6604-  
**I can't believe they actually accepted my story! I applied to a few communities, never really heard anything back. Your review made me go look- had a O.O moment. Wow, thanks for letting me know and I'm really happy you're enjoying the story!

**MizzezPattinson-  
**Wow. Your review blew me away! So many nice things, and the fact that you find it Twitter-worthy? Can't wait to hear what you think of this one. Be critical if you want, lemons aren't my forte. I don't have much experience writing them, haha, hope it doesn't show!

**Jesykahaha-  
**Your name's awesome! Thanks for reviewing!

**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Haha, bike sex is possible for the future. Hopefully the fight and following scenes helped ease disappointment with the lack of motorcycle lemons. =P

**VAVikingGirl-**  
Jalice makes me happy, haha, I'm not usually one for the overly romantic relationships, but everything I've read concerning them has been pretty good. Thanks for letting me know about the community! Now I'm in two of them, that I know of, hooray! I've read 'Wide Awake' and 'Tropic of Virgo' and immensely loved them. If there's anything _too_ coincidental, let me know? Uh… not sure how to phrase this- I've read them, yes, but I really didn't mean to take anything from either fiction. Feeling nervous, happy, elated, and confused, haha. I really appreciate all of your comments, definitely want to make sure to convey that. ^_^

**Angel04une-  
**Hahaha, wow. Thank you! Jesus fuck, your comment was amazing!

**Anwar96- **…  
stunned. 'gapes at the screen.' O.O, haha. Thank you so very, very much!

**Ccaajjaa-  
**I hope your holiday has gone well, and continues to go well! Thanks for taking the time to leave a review amidst all of your packing! =D

**My4kids-  
**You sound like a really fun person. The guy I'm dating now isn't really a 'bad boy.' He's kind of clean cut, actually, go figure. I'm friends with a bunch of tattooed, pierced people and all of them, along with their stories, are really fun to be around.

**Mercedesfrk1121-  
**I'm really glad you like both the music and the books I've introduced! If you have anything to rec, I'm always looking for new books, etc. Reading **Shantaram** now. Its fantastic, I highly recommend it. =D I'm really happy you like my version of Edward, Alice, and Bella. Thanks!

**Spunk-ransom-lover1981-  
**Yeah, I'm trying to stay away from the 'suicidally dark' way this story could have gone. Not sure about future chapters, but I wanted them to be happy for awhile without running from one emergency to another, y'know?

**Note-**  
I've actually gotten this question a few times. My math is wrong when it comes to their ages. I included seventeen… hmm, how to explain? Edward's being seventeen is included as one of the three years. Just turning seventeen to eighteen, eighteen to nineteen, nineteen to now. Somehow, in my mind, that correlated to three? I confused myself, haha. Fuck, I think I have to go back and fix it. Thanks, ransom!


	21. Life Starts Now

**Chapter 21  
- Life Starts Now**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2: **  
I didn't realize until far too late that the grass in the meadow wasn't high-grass. Since I've moved it far from its original location, why not imagine tall grass and wildflowers? Heh, oops.  
**Authors Note 3: **  
Sorry for the brief switching of POV's. I originally wrote this in Bella's perspective, and I didn't want to lose it entirely. I tried to only use the portion that wouldn't detract from Edward's POV. I didn't want her to take over, just _add_ to what was there. Meh, all comments are appreciated.

**Playlist**  
**Short Skirt, Long Jacket**- CAKE  
**Life Starts Now**- Three Days Grace  
**Paradise Lost**- Hollywood Undead  
**Walk**- Pantera  
**Indestructible**- Disturbed

**Edward's Point of View**

I might love Bella Swan a little. Call me fickle, but what I was feeling seemed pretty damn concrete. She lusted over Adam Lambert, performed a sexy floorshow to Lady Gaga, screamed Slipknot with intensity and aggression, used stripper moves for Buckcherry. There were so many fucking aspects to her, and the more I found out, the more interested I was in learning more.

It had really, really fucking bothered me, the thought of her stripping for money. The drug carting was one thing, but taking off her clothes for other men? For money? Fuck that shit. She had seemed so okay with it, I wondered if her friend Rose was in the business. It had been Rosalie who had signed them up for classes, if I remembered correctly. Of course, though, Bella had called that shit. She fucking nailed it, _'The thought of me having to strip for money bothered you rather than me having the knowledge.' _

Fuck _me_, _yes_. Insightful, intuitive, fucking incredible, that had been the first time I thought… love. I needed to talk to Alice.

The second time, in one motherfucking night, was when Bella sang the, hands down,-of all time,-best fucking pissed-off song ever, with every bit of intensity that I felt. When she screamed 'Yes' I knew she had felt it at some point. Her aggression and hostility spurred mine. If I hadn't been an idiot to trade my bike for Jasper's truck, I'd have fucking pulled over. I couldn't return his vehicle smelling of sex, of Bella. Any of his past exploits aside, if anyone were to be taken in his truck, it'd be Alice.

I wasn't prudish. Alice was my sister, but sex had always been a rather open topic for us. She asked me all of the questions her parents should have answered. Fuck it. I had been the one, two years ago, that drove her to buy 'toys.' I hadn't gone in with her, but I knew what was in the brown paper bag.

She wasn't left in the dark when it came to my sex-partners, and some of her disgusted reactions aside, she had never passed judgment. That was part of the reason I couldn't have any problem with Jasper. He knew bikes and cars, Alice was safe with him, I had found the gun he kept under his driver's seat. I had felt him out, sized him up, if I thought there was any chance of him turning the gun on Alice, I'd have incapacitated him during our fight.

Alice and Bella had gone to girl-talk, or whatever they were doing off together, away from us. After a few seconds of awkward silence, I had asked Jasper about motorcycle and car mechanics. I'd seen him eyeing some of the tools in my garage. He looked over both my car and the bike with a critical eye. Turns out, he had assembled his old truck by hand. He asked if my bike reached its rumored potential, I asked about his new truck. Instant trade. I preferred that Bella not be exposed to the, now colder, wind. Jasper's winter coat engulfed all of Alice, I only had my leather jacket.

Not to mention, it took fucking _forever_ to get Bella to wear my jacket. She used every excuse in the book. 'She wasn't cold,' 'It was too big for her,' 'She didn't want to, inadvertently, end up holding it hostage.'

Fucking _christ_! I knew, for a fact, that she was cold. That it was big worked in her favor, she'd retain body heat if she zipped it with her arms inside, and she could fucking _have it _so long as I wasn't standing there, watching her shiver. I wanted her hot, shaking, shuddering- not shivering.

That had been the third time. The dance, the pot, my first time fighting in a really _long_ fucking time, having Bella on my bed; one of those had to be a cause for the _love_ word to be dancing around in my head. '_You're mine_,' I remembered growling the phrase against her skin. Fuck me if I hadn't wanted it to be true. So far as that phrase went, I couldn't picture anyone else being the cause. I wanted her to be… _mine_, in the same dark, slightly twisted, all-consuming way I had said it.

The same way she had said it. Screamed it, actually, as I made her come. Her eyes had met mine, I saw no barriers. Bella felt it, she wanted the same thing- for me to be hers, as she was mine- no matter what bad might be lurking around the corner.

It had only been ten minutes since she had left to shower. Waking with her curled around me, the scent of sex in the air; I'd have taken her right then if she hadn't called for a 'girl moment.' I assume her hasty retreat to the bathroom had to do with my coming inside of her.

I was so fucked.

She was the first person I had trusted enough to do that with. I might prefer bareback to using a condom, but I always pulled out after the girl had gotten off. My standards were pretty fucking high. If I went bareback, I needed to be fucking convinced they wouldn't be sharing anything that'd linger. Fucking _always_. All I needed, in addition, was to have some chick pretend to have taken precautions. I wasn't, in any way, prepared to raise a kid.

People assumed that, because I choose to sleep around, I didn't fully comprehend the possible consequences of such behavior. I had enough in my account to pay for an abortion, or help raise the fucking kid if the chick decided to keep it. My last medical test, which had not been conducted by Carlisle or Esme, had come back clean. There was no need to go back in for another STD test, Bella had been the only one I slept with since.

We had never held 'the conversation', but I _knew_ that Bella wasn't the type to rush into early pregnancy. I didn't really want to talk with her about it. The thought of her having to go through an abortion, making the choice… If I weren't such a horny bastard, if my first reaction to her hadn't been to fucking _claim her_, we'd still be waiting.

_ Everything_ mattered with her. In the past, the thought of a chick wanting to _keep_ something spawned by me, well, it wouldn't have been an option. I thought I had understood the consequences of having sexual interaction, but it was nothing compared to the things I'd thought about recently.

If I were wrong, I knew I wasn't, but _if_ I were to be proven wrong and Bella _happened_ to get pregnant, and, long-shot of a chance, but if she _wanted_ to keep it? Him or her, not it, I mentally reminded myself. Carlisle had asked me repeatedly not to call newborns 'it' or 'things.' ... I don't know what I'd do. Her happiness meant a lot to me. A real fucking lot, to the point where I placed her needs and wants above my own. _If_, I felt resignation curl inside of me, she wanted to try the whole- no, fuck that.

My rational side mentally slapped the _shit_ out of me.

Bella wouldn't want to try. She had a future ahead of her, as did I. Much as Carlisle and Esme talk about wanting grandchildren, I knew they weren't ready to accept the role just yet. High-schoolers- sans the few, mature, exceptions I knew of- did not good parents make. I wouldn't be a good parent. With my drinking and hiding drugs, not that I'd ever _stop_, but I hoped to have an entire house of my own in which to conceal them.

Speaking of, I needed to talk with Newton soon. My stash was running dangerously low, especially now that Jasper might be joining us. Jay had been just as enthusiastic about staging a fight. Both of us knew it would progress to something more than play-fighting. I had been itching to challenge him since I'd met him, at least this way we'd end as friends rather than just with him bleeding.

He fought well, I could credit him that much. His moves had been improvisational, he was a wiry fuck and used it to his advantage. His way of fighting was different than mine. If I hadn't trusted him before, I did now. Rather than focusing on my hands, the way I moved, a lot of his focus had been on my face.

Wherever the fuck he was from, people fought with some kind of honor. I could see it in the way he reacted to women, when he stood every time Bella and Alice would enter or leave a room. Who the fuck did that? Really? It had been a little off-setting. I was used to watching for quick arm gestures. Would they pull a knife, did they have a gun somewhere? Feeling his eyes on my face the whole time had been really fucking strange. I had expected him to be using that as a distraction, getting me off-guard. No, he never went for a knee-cap hit. There was a chance for him to have dislocated my shoulder, he didn't. We had both scored a few good punches, were moving in for the take-down when Alice intervened.

For the third time in my life, I had fought someone without pulling dirty fucking moves. The other two times had been with Alice. I couldn't help but like him, and, also, worry a little more for Alice.

There had been a series of black and white television shows that they allowed us to watch in one of the group homes. One of the series was Western based; cowboys dueling one another, fighting over women, it had been interesting. Jasper fought like them.

Was it Texas? Were all Texans so… chivalrously edgy? Jasper had been enthusiastic about fighting me, but he trusted me not to send him to the ER. I'd never be able to relax that much around someone I was going to throw down with. I wouldn't wait for the bell to sound, for the flag to be waved. I'd shoot before, while the other bastard waited. Dishonorable, maybe, but it'd be _me_ to walk the fuck away, alive. Now that I was actually enjoying life, was looking forward to finishing the year, if not the rest of my life, I'd be less honorable than before. Alice would be _thrilled_.

Seeing as Bella taunted me into fighting someone, I didn't think she'd really give a fuck about my morals. I knew she had been kidding, but part of me wanted to prove it. If not to her, to myself. I was capable of protecting her, of taking on anyone who threatened her, us.

I might not know all of the boyfriend-crap that Jasper did easily, but I could make Bella scream with pleasure. She'd feel fucking safe with me sleeping next to her. I kept a knife under my pillow, next to the door, under the carpet closest to me. There was a steel bat in the corner of my room, an unloaded gun in my closet.

I had stopped lining three coin-filled cans, with two cans on top of them, in front of my door. It had become a pain in the ass every time Alice barged in, or when Esme came to check on us. I had started associating the metallic clinking as warning that Alice was going to pounce on top of me with news. At least five times a week, I'd be shocked awake by her jumping onto my stomach. Strangely, once I had stopped using them, she stopped pouncing. Go figure. She had persisted, however, to the point where I no longer pinned her in a death-grip when she woke me. Good training, I guess, for sleeping next to someone else. I didn't really relish the thought of throttling Bella because she had moved in her sleep.

I had still awoken a few times to make sure everything was still, nervous habit I haven't lost yet, but other than that, I slept fucking _well_.

"Any regrets?" Steam poured out of the bathroom. No wonder she had taken so fucking long, I hadn't heard the shower start. Fuck. I would have joined her.

"No, none. You?"

"Nope," she smiled. "I would have asked you to come in, but, uh, I needed a few more 'girl moments.' Then I was, y'know, done. So… here I am?"

"I'm not going to have any shirts if you keep stealing them." She was wearing another of my band-shirts, the towel was wrapped around her waist. Her wet hair was tied back in a ponytail, eyes bright and happy.

"I know," she smiled. "That's my ulterior motive."

My door banged open. Bella immediately got to one knee, reached for her calf before realizing she wasn't wearing shoes, or her knife.

"Morning!" Alice bounded in and stopped dead. Yeah, I could empathize with the way she felt. What the fuck? It took Bella a second or two, but she focused on Alice's face and managed a sheepish smile.

"Morning," she replied while gripping the towel to make sure it stayed closed.

"You," I pointed at Jasper. "Out for a minute." I could swear he flushed as the door closed. Damned if I knew why _he_ should be embarrassed. I was covered, Bella was in a towel. That didn't mean I wanted him coming in here if she accidentally dropped it.

"Um…"

"We're going shooting!" Alice grinned. "You guys are coming."

"Shooting?" Bella asked.

"You're doing what?" I inquired.

Crisis averted. Bella laughed, rose gracefully. The towel was safe. I still didn't want Jasper in here, he could wait a fucking minute.

"Not with real guns, silly people. Sticky guns, Jasper said he had a few extras, and Velcro armor, too. It sounds like fun, don't you want to try?"

"Um?"

"We don't have any plans…" Bella answered looking to me.

"Great," Alice opened the door. "See ya in twenty!"

"Wait," Bella used the door to cover her lower half. "Do you have pants or a skirt I could borrow? Shoes, too, maybe? Not a huge deal, I can wear what I did last night."

"All in white?" Alice looked doubtful. "Traipsing around in the meadow, mud and dirt, I don't think so. Give me two minutes."

My door had opened and closed three times thus far. Thank fuck I had stopped using the cans. We'd all have massive headaches, though I wouldn't mind spending the rest of the day in bed with Bella.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I wanted to have time to take care of… you, but she'll be back."

"Take care of me?"

"Wake you up properly," she clarified.

Oh. Oh _shit_. No fucking way. Her expression held the answer.

"Are you okay with whatever Alice has planned?"

It took me a moment, all of the blood had rushed to my cock. Beyond my reaction to the graphic images she'd given me, I was fucking floored. That she had planned ahead, _wanted_, to wake me up with a blowjob.

"Um… because she's using the meadow," she elaborated.

Right. The meadow. Alice. Open about sex though we all were, I didn't want her flouncing back into the room with me sporting a boner.

"No, there's no problem," I shrugged. "Alice wants to bring Jasper, I already took you there. It's more your meadow than anything else, it borders your property."

"I didn't know it existed," she stated matter-of-factly.

"And now?"

"Thanks for letting me borrow it?"

There was that emotion again. Fucking strange as hell.

"Try these," Alice was back. She had two skirts and three pairs of pants in her arms, which she promptly laid across my bed. Going back to the door, she took, I assume from Jasper, four different pairs of shoes.

"I wasn't sure how you were feeling," she arranged the shoes on top of the pants.

"Alice… wow…"

"Flirty, happy, sexy, sad and unsatisfied?" Alice leveled a warning glare in my direction with the last word. Bella laughed, shook her head no. Time for me to go. Fascinating as this was, I didn't plan on sitting, naked, in bed while they talked about outfits, that were on top of me, for the next half hour.

She ended up wearing a pair of red and black goth-camo pants, my band shirt, and a pair of stocky-heeled boots she had lent Alice. Her eyes were done all in black, Alice had smeared two lines of black across her face for 'extra camouflage.' Whatever made them happy.

Bella did look really fucking hot. She looked especially hot waiting outside for me on my bike. She had been sitting further back on the leather seat with one leg up and bent, the other resting on the ground. Hell fuck yes.

Regardless that we looked like twins, I had worn green and black camo pants. No one was going to see me coming. I also had on a black t-shirt and a similarly colored, though much faded, motorcycle jacket. With black hiking boots, I was ready for anything Jasper and Alice had in mind.

"Okay," Alice clapped her hands, got our attention. "Jasper? Final rules?"

"Main goal in this game is to shoot the other people. Cheap shots, sniping, all of its allowed."

"Sniping," I echoed. "How is that possible?"

The guns he had given us certainly weren't capable of any sniping. I'd be lucky to remain undetected as I took my shot. Alice hadn't been kidding when she said 'sticky guns.' They were like paintball guns, but instead of shooting canisters filled with paint, they shot painful little colored things.

He had given all of us vests, arm protection, goggles, and large strips that went over the legs of our pants. The key was to shoot a person on the targeted area. That consisted, basically, of everywhere but the face. Everything Jasper had given us, minus the goggles, were vulnerable areas. If the colored ball stuck, they scored a point. If it didn't stick, they ran like hell to avoid return fire.

I was fucking impressed. These had never been real guns, I didn't know what their use was before Jasper had 'altered' them. It was a game he said people played when they didn't have enough money for a real paintball gun. Hurt more too, he had laughed, which made the whole game that much more fun.

The armor he had crafted from a Velcro-like fabric. Chances were, if you had been shot, the colored ball would stick. The gun held six rounds. We had been given a choice of eight colors, Jasper was serious as fuck about this. I got red, Bella chose light blue, Alice was purple, and Jas was neon green. Fine by me. Bitch of the situation? Once the hundred sticky balls were gone, you had to find more to use.

"Yeah," Bella agreed. "Unless you're hiding something, there's no way this could be taken as a sniper rifle."

"Ya'll have your secrets, we have ours," Jasper smirked.

"Whoa, whoa," Bella added. "Completely unfair. This isn't a team game. One versus all."

"Who said we were a team?" Jay asked.

There was no question about it. "Whitlock, the moment you didn't need to explain who 'We' were, you became a team."

Alice laughed, but she moved away from him. "Fine, no teams."

"Positions?" Jasper called. Two minutes for hiding, I heard Alice blow the air-horn. The game was on.

I ducked immediately and avoided being shot by millimeters. There was movement to my left. I moved lithely on my knees, the trick was to move slowly and in the direction of the wind. The soil was damp, if I stayed low to the ground, I should be able to be virtually undetectable. I lowered myself flat on the ground and hoped the grass would cover me.

**Bella's Point of View**

A cluster of hay moved sharply. I saw him. Thankfully his back was to me, it would have been a bitch to sneak up on Edward otherwise. I took a deep breath and gathered my strength. If it were Alice, even Jasper, this might not have been so difficult.

I crouched on one knee and pictured all of my strength in my shoulder. Counting to two, I charged him.

"What the fuck?" He had turned, I tried to pull back but it was too late.

Sticky things came whizzing in our direction. Three of them stung and bounced off my exposed skin, one of them stuck.

"Hang the fuck on!" Edward instinctively moved in front of me and pulled me behind him, his arms spread. He hunched over, "Time out! Cease fucking fire!"

"What?" Jasper stood up with the gun slung over his shoulders.

"We need to clear up some of rules. Bella," he laughed while struggling for breath, "you can't beat the shit out of people for their guns!"

"You said 'All of it's allowed.' So… I figured with two guns, I'd do a lot more damage. And… if I managed to get all of them… I win?"

"Totally not- well, yea, I suppose," Jasper mused. I smiled at Alice, Jasper was saying 'totally' now. It sounded funny with his southern accent.

"No way. I can't go around shanking people for their guns." Edward smirked, "Unless its you, Jay."

"I wasn't suggesting you _stab_ them, Edward. Jesus christ!"

"Who said anything about stabbing?" He looked confused, "You're blood-thirsty as _fuck!_"

"_You_ mentioned stabbing! That's what shanking _is._"

"I _know_ what _shanking_ is," he growled after a moment. "It also means, loosely, to take something from someone. That's what I was referring to. Not fucking shoving my knife into their ribs for the win. The word also means, to walk, but I didn't think that applied in this situation."

"Oh," I blushed. "Well _excuse_ _me_ for taking you literally."

"You're excused," he crossed his arms, superior and confident.

"Are they always like this?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, always," I heard Alice reply.

"A fuckin' word history lesson."

"Yeah," Alice giggled, "you'll learn a lot. Trust me."

"Compared to you two snogging all the time?" Snogging? That was a new one, I'd have to thank Edward later.

"I believe," Jasper rubbed Alice's back, "we were in the middle of a game? Take two, position yourselves, and battle commences."

"You okay?" I asked Edward. I hadn't hit anything major, his kidneys had been safe. I'd lowered my elbow enough that I had avoided jabbing him in the stomach.

"Yeah, you?"

"I'm good," I kissed him hard. "I would have gotten your gun if you hadn't called time out."

"Bella," he pulled me to him and raked his nails across the seam of my pants. "I was still standing after you tackled me."

I moaned, Edward was right. Even though he'd stumbled back one or two steps, he had recovered to the point where he'd shielded me with his body. Mentally, too, he'd called for them to stop before… before they saw our position. It hadn't even occurred to me that all of the shouting would give Jas and Alice an easy win.

"Good luck, babe." He gave me a slow, lingering kiss. And then he was gone.

Fucking tease. I was going to shoot him in the head, zombie style.

**Edward's Point of View**

Sneaking up on people to get their guns, I should have known she'd see my point about survival over chivalry. She had been so fucking… cute. _'If I manage to get them all, I win?' _And she had said it as though she hadn't considered any other way of winning. Fuck yes.

Where would they be hiding? Alice, I had no clue. She could be anywhere. It'd be like her to pop up, shoot, and disappear. Bella? I was watching my back, chances were she'd take the person by surprise, then fire. Jasper. Sniper Jasper, I studied the four hills scattered within the meadow. Any one of them provided ample cover. I'd go with the nearest me and work out from there. If I ran into Bella or Alice on the way, well, I was ready for them.

Instead of kneeling, I stood and immediately threw myself to the right and kept moving. Sure enough, two different colors flew at me. They were somewhere to my right, probably my left now. I heard Bella curse loudly, Alice had crossed her path.

Neon green caught my eye. Tricky bastard, he was behind the largest hill near the perimeter of the meadow. Sniper rifle, indeed, Jasper had kept the big gun for himself. All I had to do was make it that far, I was pretty confident in my stealth abilities. Granted, I had never used them during the day, in an open field, but how difficult could it be?

After about five minutes of creeping through the tall grass, I realized Alice was trying to herd us into Jasper's path. Sneaky as fuck.

_'Don't fall for it, Ali and Jas are working together. Don't follow her.'_ I figured a text was warranted, if they chose to bypass the rules, so could I.

_'Meet me near the tall tree, its to the right.'_ I saw what she was talking about, the tree wasn't far from where I was.

Out of nowhere, Bella dashed out from behind the tree and… she fucking _shot me_. Three times. I heard her laugh before I lost her in the grass.

_'That was a lot of fun.'_

Fucking hell, I closed my phone. Fine, that was fine by me. She couldn't have gone far, where the hell was she lurking? It took me awhile, but I finally saw her through the grass, her back was to me. There was no mistaking her reddish brown hair, the white stripe across the back of my shirt. I crept up behind her, remembered the way she had reacted to Alice's sudden entry, and froze.

She turned and saw me, I instantly reacted. At least I had taken the brunt of the hit. We were peppered with sticky things as she disentangled herself from me.

"You _tackled_ me?"

"You ambushed me," I retorted.

"So? I'm… well, I'm… a girl?" Even I had to raise my eyebrow at that one, that's the best she could do? "Yeah, I _am_ a girl! You're not supposed to _tackle_ me!"

"Stop fucking shooting us!" Little sticky pellets kept flying at us. What the fuck? I needed a minute to think, Bella looked seriously pissed. They hadn't stopped, shouldn't they have run out of fucking ammo by now?

I leveled a glare in their direction, Alice stopped shooting. Jasper, I thought, had quit, but I felt three hit my back. When I turned partially around to face Bella, another bounced off my goggles. I was going to kick the Texans ass. Bella started laughing.

"Not going to shoot me again?" I asked.

"I, uh, ran out…"

"Say sorry for ambushing me and I'll share some of mine."

"Share anyway," she grinned. "That'd be your apology for tackling me."

"Motivate me?"

**o . o . o**

Having left Bella with Alice, I still felt the effect of her… motivational tactics, and it was nearly three hours later. She grabbed my cock through my pants, pushed me onto my back in the grass, and kissed me steadily while maneuvering my gun away from me. Jasper and Alice had won, but only because they teamed up while Bella and I tried to take one another down. There was a rematch scheduled for sometime in the future.

"Edward," Mike Newton squeaked. "Hey! What's up, man?"

"I've got sixty, no change. Want to cut me extra?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure, c'mon in."

The fact that he lived in a basement didn't bother me. Alice and I had camped in worse places. The condition in which he lived, however, left much to be desired. Old ice-cream cartons were scattered around on the floor. One or two of them were growing mold. I side-stepped a half-eaten yogurt container. The spoon hadn't moved when it toppled over, that was fucking disgusting.

"You live like this?"

"Yeah, cool, huh?" Mike grinned. "I've got the _entire_ floor to myself."

"I can see that."

The only clutter-free part of the room consisted of a foot-radius around his computer. Of course. I felt the need to shower.

"So, uh, you're a pretty tough guy, right? I mean, you- _wham_," he mimed picking someone up, throwing them. "Tyler, remember? I've kinda got this problem-"

"No," I said instantly. He seemed more twitchy than normal. Now I knew the reason. He wanted my help with something. Mike should have saved his breath, I had left all of that long ago.

"Just hear me out…"

"You going to give me what I paid for, or am I going to kick your ass?"

"They think I stole money from them," he said, rushing. "They're coming for me tomorrow night. It's only four guys, you wouldn't-"

"Last warning." I never bothered with warnings, but I really didn't want to touch him. His monitor hadn't reached screensaver mode. Whatever he had been doing before my arrival… yea, warning him was good.

"I'll pay you."

The magic words. I felt my dark side come to life. Somehow, I had snapped into business mode. It didn't mean that I would be taking the job, but I'd try to hear him out provided he didn't keep annoying me. Mike seemed to think it was a joke, he had some hard lessons coming to him.

"How much?" I inquired.

"Now we're talkin," he rubbed his hands together.

"Drugs, Mike." He passed me the clear plastic bag. I tucked it into one of the hidden pockets in my jacket, I had a bunch of them for exactly this reason. If I were pulled over, even if they checked my pockets and made me strip down, they wouldn't necessarily find anything.

Very small holes, barely large enough for the bag to fit through, were cut into the lining. With all of the crap I kept in this jacket, they'd never feel the three-inch wide baggie. It was a tried and true method, one that had served me well over the years.

"Bye."

"Wait, okay! I'll pay you six hundred dollars."

"No way."

"Eight hundred?"

This was laughable. I had been paid much more for less. That was New York, this was Forks. Maybe eight hundred was the best he could do? Not likely.

"Where are you supposed to meet them?" I sighed.

"Port Angeles."

"Get them to meet you in the school parking lot."

"Our school?"

"Port Angeles is fucking ridden with cops. I'm not getting caught for you. Here, in Forks, there are six men on duty. Total. Only two are on-duty per shift."

"And they never patrol the school when its closed, I get it."

Jesus christ. "Did you steal from them?"

"I, uh… well, I-"

"Didyou _steal _from _them?"_

"I... _r__elocated _some of their wealth. They owed me and didn't pay up. I was out almost five grand!"

"How much did you take?"

"Just what they took from me."

"Don't fucking lie to me. Do it one more time and I'll fucking walk."

"An extra thousand," he admitted.

"Fuck." I made sure to sound worried. Maybe it would clue Mike in to the danger he'd put himself in. His 'problem' wasn't a problem, not in my world. The risk of being caught was nearly nonexistent. If Mike acted as lookout, he was capable of that much, I'd have plenty of time to make my escape. Five thousand dollars wasn't a lot. The guys Mike worked for probably cleared fifteen grand a day, if my calculations were correct. Most of FHS was on something, it was a good business they had going.

"How many guys in their gang?"

"Gang? They're just a bunch of-" he reeled himself in as I leveled another glare in his direction. Gulping, he started hyperventilating, doing the nervous laugh thing that grated on my nerves. "Yo, chill. Maybe thirty of them? A lot are dorks or girls. They're carriers, like me. Jacob's the main guy."

"The Res? You pissed off people on the fucking Reservation?"

How the fuck had he managed to do that? The Quileute's never bothered anyone. They had their own little commune, away from us 'pale-faced degenerates.' We had several cultural differences.

"They grow shit out there! Forks police knows, I'm sure, but they have their own law. We don't interfere."

"Until _you_ fucking did."

"Jake, Jacob, the new guy in the charge? He's a bastard. He'll probably meet with an accident, not a lot of people like him."

"Am I fighting him?"

"No…"

"Then how does that constitute as relevant information?"

"I don't know…'

"Remember what I said about lying to me. Answer me really fucking honestly. What is the likelihood that someone will come after you, or me, if I help you out?"

"Slim to none," he said confidently. "I mean, your job would be to get rid of them so they don't come back, right?"

"Oh my fucking-" Deep breaths. No, rescind that, it smelled like dirty laundry, rotting food. "If I do this for you, you never, I mean fucking _never_ come to me with your problems again. You don't tell anyone else I helped you. I get free weed, and anything else I might need, for as long as we know one another. You pay me five hundred per guy, an extra hundred for every injury I sustain."

"Whoa, what? I-"

"You admitted to stealing six grand from people that would have no qualms when it comes to eradicating you. You're not poor. You aren't fucking destitute. Two thousand dollars is not going to break you. I could charge more, but I traded in the extra cash for free drugs. Now, do we have a deal or not?"

His computer was top of the line, I could tell by the sticker on the side. Mike had shelled out some nice cash for his gaming and pornographic needs. His phone was at least three hundred dollars, the monstrosities on his feet were in the one-hundred-range. He had the fucking cash, I really didn't like that he was trying to browbeat me over price.

"Okay, okay. We meet up tomorrow night, do this thing?"

"You meet me at the school. Text me with the time as soon as you arrange the meeting. You're not getting into my fucking car."

"Sure."

"I go to meet the guys you pissed off and negotiate. You stay near the fucking entrance. Don't fucking move from there until I come over to you. If the cops come, if you see anything fucking suspicious, flash your lights."

"My headlights?"

"Yes," I curtailed my anger. "Get the fuck out of there, I can handle myself."

"If you lose?"

"Your life is going to get a lot more fucking complicated."

I saw fear on his face. Good. Maybe next time he wouldn't be such a fucking colossal idiot next time. You _never_ steal from the suppliers, he was such a fucking rookie. He was going to get himself killed if he weren't careful.

It was none of my business, he could do whatever he wanted. This was the last time I stepped in for him. If I weren't being paid two thousand, plus at least another six hundred, I would have walked. It wasn't a lot of money, but considering this was Forks, I was dealing with Mike, and the plan should work without any hitches, why not go for it?

"If you leave the car, if you try to taunt them, if you go back later and gloat, they can fucking have you. I'm not dealing with that shit. At no point during the night do you say my name aloud. I want to remain anonymous, and if you slip, I'll forget about the four guys I'm fighting and focus on _you." _

"Okay," he agreed, still nervous.

"Will they be carrying? Guns, knives, what?"

"I don't think anything… its not a professional thing they've got going on. Jacob's too new for weapons to have been implanted. All they do is sell drugs. Coke mostly. You seem to think its some covert organization, its just a bunch of dude's trying to make some extra cash."

"You're really fucking lucky. If you'd been caught anywhere else, they'd kill you. In the middle of the night, possibly during the day, people don't fuck around. Don't ever let me hear of you doing this shit again. Cut your losses and move on next time."

"Do you think you'll be able to take four of the Quileute's? They're kind of, you know, built."

"And?"

"Well, you're one guy. If-"

"You asked _me_ for help. Do you have anyone else that would willingly step in to fix your fuckery?"

"No…"

"Then you'd better really fucking hope that I can."

I was confident, for the most part. Only an idiot went into a fight not expecting to be hurt. If I didn't have an extensive background that dealt with fighting rings, underground matches, and going up against more than four people on a regular basis…I should be fine.

I'd had backup, granted, and it had been awhile since my last fight- no, thinking like that wasn't in any way conducive. It was a recipe for failure, among other things. The location, seeing them, sizing them up, getting a feel for their fighting style, nothing else mattered.

"Thank you, by the way. I didn't think you'd-"

"Don't thank me until its over. There are a bunch of ways this could go down, I don't give you any guarantee that I'll stick around for the fight. I'm not risking exposure or getting my ass handed to me because you were stupid enough to steal from them. Wait until we get there, you'll find out soon enough if I plan to stay and see this through."

"Uh… okay…"

I left, what the fuck else was there to say? Mike was sweating, I had what I came for. How the fuck had I gotten rooked into this whole thing? Money. Always money.

My bank account was still well-stocked, but I couldn't shake the feeling of having nothing. Any chance I got to make a lot in a short period of time, I took. This was my first opportunity here. Mike wouldn't spread rumor around, he had waited to ask me, personally.

_ 'Where are you?' _I received the text from Alice. Shit. Alice was going to flip the fuck out, and rightfully so. Goddamnit.

**Authors Note: **  
And there we go. I have no idea why, or when, this idea spawned. Seemed as good as any though, right? Maybe I wanted to show the difference between the way Edward and Jasper fought versus the way he normally fights? I've no idea if this is really happening yet, but hope you liked the chapter!

**Authors Note 2:  
Sarix Angel-  
**Wow, incredibly high praise, and I thank you for it! What was your prom like? Mine was boring as hell, I skipped out halfway through and went to find a real party, lmao. Do you participate with your friends, boxing? It sounds like a lot of fun. ^_^ And I'll do my best to bring Emmett in for you, I've got the rest of the gang in anyway, right? Wouldn't be the same without some Emmett-love. =P

**Bundysarah, DevilishAngel78, xNOMx, Acw1, Tina062093, Karen4honor, Angel04une, Inb2107 (sorry if you used an l instead of I… =/), luvinJazz-  
**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! And anyone who added me to any fanfic lists, thanks very much, guys!

**Ccaajjaa-  
**I'm sorry! That sucks majorly, I hope you managed to have some fun despite the canceled flights and… volcano. O.o. Thanks very much for reviewing, sorry again. =/

**AngelaSampedro99-  
**Hehe, thank you! I hope you're well-rested after napping!

**Tahughes-  
**I was actually sort-of sad to make James the bad-guy. I know that's what his role _is_, but I always, shh, kinda liked him. He's very aesthetically pleasing. Victoria, too. I'm still really pissed that they weren't able to bring her back! Nuuuuuu! Red head! Gorgeous! New actress = O.O

**Fliberty-  
**Thank you, and that's what I was trying to show, =D. Different sides to relationships, how different things work for different people. Cool name, by the way!

**Dazzeld Mom-  
**Hell yes! I'll gladly share! He has a penchant for brooding, just want to give you a heads up before I send him over. =P

**Spunk-ransom-lover1981-  
**I'm really glad you liked the music! I wonder sometimes if the songs I pick are a little… uh… intense, maybe, for them, but I don't know what else Edward would listen to, 'specially with all the leather, tatt's, etc. I try to lighten it a little in Bella's POV, but I'm really happy you liked them. Not emo and depressive, thanks! =D

**MizzezPattinson-  
**Awesome! And I can't thank you enough for Twittering 'The Handcuff Bracelet.' Honestly, wow!

**VAVikingGIrl-  
**I wonder that all the time- whether things would be different if I had chosen another path. Maybe something more clean-cut, white-collar? Or if I'd continued on my path to utter self-destruction... Its weird, y'know? Well, yeah, haha, you get that. =D. Thank you very much, VA, I appreciate any and all input you give!

**Kitasky123-  
**You'll still have readers! And, if not, you'll make new ones! I'm glad you liked the fight, I was a little iffy on it, but figured, what the hell. They're guys, an aggressive song was playing. Heh.

**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Thanks! Mmm, I love dreams like that. =)

**My4kids-  
**Some really good friends of mine are _unconventional _mom's. I don't mean that in a bad way, they're all interesting, passionate, and I think they make _better _parents because of it. My parents were very straight-edge. Whole 'nother story there, haha. I agree with you, for the record. The people I've known that dress, and act, as 'Edward' does… I found them to be more insightful, and a lot more compassionate, than some of the 'normal's.' Your kids sound awesome, and because of your experiences, you're probably able to relate to them more?

**Mercedesfrk1121-  
**Thank you, thank you! And yea… haha, I know. Neon Angel and The Runaways? I'll have to look them up, thanks for the recs!

**The Blessing And The Curse-  
**Wow! O.O! You're amazing, thank you so much!


	22. Emergency

**Chapter 22  
- Emergency**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2: **  
During certain flashbacks, I found it difficult to write Alice's thought processes. She's supposed to be eleven, or somewhere around that age. How do eleven year old children speak? I figured that hanging around with Edward, who speaks properly, and the fact that he read to her probably helped increase her vocabulary. Bear with me, I don't have any kids. Nor have I spent time with any in this age-range. Correct me if I'm wrong, haha.

**\Authors Note 3: **  
As I'm ending this chapter, I realized that Alice isn't eleven here. She's… fourteen? Fifteen? All of my ages went out the window, crap! You know what? It doesn't even matter that much. 'Grumbles. How to rectify this? Fuck. And I don't know how fourteen year olds act, either. Double fuck.

**Playlist**  
**Is It Day Or Night**- The Runaways (Thanks **Mercedesfrk1121**!)  
**Emergency**- Paramore  
**Proud**- Tegan and Sara  
**What Have We Become**- Daughtry  
**Unwritten**- Natasha Bedingfield  
**What To Wear**- Taylor Swift

**Alice's Point of View**

I usually only have one dream. Its the same every time. I'm safe, warm, I know the two people in the room love me. They're older. Parents, probably? One has brown hair and dark brown eyes, the other has blue eyes and blonde hair. I'm curled up against the female watching pages turn as she reads a book. Dread curls in my stomach, I know what's going to happen next. I can never make it stop no matter how hard I try.

The earth shakes, blue and red lights flash. A woman screams. The door separating them from me is closed. I hear things crash down around me in the dark, and I curl up in a ball to avoid being hit. When I wake up, I smell disinfectant. I blur in and out of consciousness. I see two elderly people, I'm confused, lost, but I know that they love me, too.

As in dreams, things flicker in and out. Walking through a park, petting a cat, picking apples from a tree. A table full of food, a Christmas tree, going to school, doing homework at a long wooden table. I'm only observing, I have no control over the ebb and flow of time within my dream.

More sirens. Blackness, a void that I can't clear no matter how hard I try. Fighting, being hungry, sharing a room with three other girls, not being able to sleep. Things I can remember take place of the memories, if that's what they were.

One day, while staring out one of the windows, I see a bronze-haired boy. I only saw him for a few seconds, but I knew that he could help me. When I dreamed of him that night, I knew I had to find him. He had broken the monotony of normal dreams, and I knew what it meant. I was supposed to find him. I dreamed that he and I were adopted together. We were happy, loved again. I knew that we needed to stick together, that if one of us left, things wouldn't go well for either of us.

That was the night I escaped the group home. It took me nearly three days to find him again. A lady in black and white, a nun, I knew now, had bought me jeans, a sweater, and some new sneakers. I got away from her before she took me back to the home. I ran four or five blocks before I was sure she had given up. Turning down one of the corners, I saw him. Bronze-hair, leather jacket, his eyes were dark with fatigue and hunger. Edward couldn't help himself. I had been a little girl, and though he was barely thirteen himself, he couldn't just leave me alone, and unprotected, on the streets of New York City.

He tried to get rid of me a few times, but I always found him. The third time, he gave up and didn't try to leave me somewhere safe, or sneak out of the home while I was sleeping. Things get a little fuzzy around that point. Edward's done his best to help me remember. He poured through psychology books to try and figure out why parts of my memory are hazy. We've figured I'm repressing them because I'm not capable of remembering them yet.

It had always been Edward, though. He protected, and still does his best to protect me. When social services tried to split us up, he went insane. It happened again when, a few years later, we were at another group home. We were old enough where a lot of kids his age were sleeping around. They didn't want to let me bunk in his room because of their gender rules. Girls were lodged with girls, and vice-versa, no exceptions.

They didn't like me being near him to begin with. Edward was volatile, they said. He was physically capable of doing a lot of damage, and fights seemed to find him easily. They thought I was in danger. None of them saw that he always placed me out of harms way, that he fought because someone had threatened us. No, all they saw was the devastation Edward left as he tried to prove his point.

He finally backed the woman who ran our home against a wall. Barely controlling his rage, he'd stated several accidents that had happened in the last few days. He used my height to his advantage, the fact that I was easily hurt, especially by those here who were purposefully callous, to make his point.

Anyone who fucked with me would be taken down.

We were only there for a few weeks before the Cullens found us. They wanted a son and a daughter because Esme wasn't able to have children. I watched them through the metal grate paneling of the doors and saw a large glass house in the middle of a forest. Edward and I lived with them, attended a nearby school. We were eating pancakes with them in the morning, moving into our own bedrooms.

I knew she would smell like vanilla and flowers before they came to talk with us. Carlisle, I hadn't known his name, but I knew he was someone important. What threw a kink into my plan was the fact that they didn't seem to trust Edward. I did my best to point out all of the examples in which he had helped me. When it came down to it, I told them that I'd run away before they took me without him. He was my brother, blood-related or not, and I couldn't leave him in this hell. He fought a lot at school. Many people hated him because he had nothing, he came from nothing, and he was still able to kick their asses. I considered it a good day if I only had to bring out my mini first-aid kit once.

Edward found places for us to stay when we ran away from the home. We never had to make any plans. His eyes would meet mine, I'd know to start preparing. The rooms he was able to find, houses in which the people wouldn't be home until a certain time; he made sure we only slept on the streets when it was absolutely impossible to find anywhere else. The number of times we slept under a bridge, at a construction site, curled up in an alley, I could count on less than ten fingers. He took care of me, made sure we had food, were relatively safe. Many times, I'd wake to find that he hadn't slept at all.

If we slept inside of a single room, any place with a door between other people and us, Edward would sleep on the floor in front of it. When we 'rented' a room, he always made sure that everything was back exactly as it had been before we left. There was no reason for his consideration, but he explained that we had, basically, stolen their house. The least we could do was make sure nothing was fucked with.

I don't know why now was the time that I'd remember things like this. There was always a reason. Psychologists called it intuition, something that was common among foster children. Extra sensitivity to emotions and energy, heightened intuition and survival instincts were often prevalent in kids like us. Whatever the cause, I knew something would be happening soon. In this memory, Edward had come to try and convince me to leave him again. Not likely. My memories played like movies, so long as I had the time to relax and watch them, relive the experience. I let it happen only because, deep down, I hoped that something would shift and allow me to access the rest of what I'd repressed.

"_Alice, I know I've said this before. I'm really fucking sorry about that. I'd take it back if I could, I'll never let that happen to you again. You should go with these people, though." _

"_Edward-" _

"_Listen to me for a minute." Edward knelt down on the floor so we were equal height. "They seem really nice, and not sickly nice like the last people. He's a surgeon and she wants to be a mom. You're a great fucking kid, you deserve to be with people like that." _

"_And you?" _

"_Fuck me," he snorted. "I'll leave this fuckin' place. Without you taggin' along, I'll be able to get further. Don't worry about me, I know how to take care of myself." _

"_Yeah, yeah," I sighed. "I know that part. What're you going to do without my band-aids, gauze, and tape? How will you get food?" _

_ He winced, "I'll eat, don't even worry about that. And, you know I hate fucking band-aids." _

"_They're good for you! The nurse always gave them to me when I got hurt." _

"_Yeah, well that fucking stopped real fast, right? You didn't need them after I fucking- never mind. I won't need band-aids." _

"_Oh yeah? Who do you have protecting you?" _

"_His name's Johnny Silvero. Big fucking guy, he's going to teach me to be like him. I wish you'd met him, he's a pretty cool fucking guy. He has a, uh… car. Yeah, a car. You should see it, fucking new and everything. We're going places." _

"_How will I know you're okay?" I studied his face, but saw nothing but serious intent. I couldn't tell if he were lying to me. "What if we write to one another? You can get the address, if I go." _

"_You _will _go," he insisted. "And sure, I'll write back to you. Okay? So make up your mind, Ali-fairy. Stay in this shithole and hold me back, or go with those nice people and be rich and famous one day?" _

_ I laughed, "Rich and famous?" _

"_Hell yes," he nodded. "Carlisle's a surgeon, you'll learn to be like him. One day you'll save some celebrity's kid. You'll be famous, and then you'll write to me about it." _

"_Where do I send the letters?" _

"_Remember the smoke shop? I know a guy there, he'll keep letters for me." _

"_How will you get them if you're not going to be here long?" _

"_He'll, uh, he'll fucking forward them to me, alright? Jesus, its twenty-fucking-questions with you all the time. Just accept it, Alice. Go, be happy, I'll be on my way and find happiness, too." _

"_No." _

"_Uh, Edward and Alice Masen?" _

"_Not Masen," Edward snarled. He didn't have any patience with these people after they tried to split us up. "What do you want?" _

"_The Cullens have made a decision. Alice, will you come with me?" _

"_Sure," he pushed me gently toward the woman. "See you 'round, Alice." _

"_But-"_

"_Go," he waved at me as the door closed behind us. _

_ The lady took me to gather some of my things together. I didn't have much, a few blankets Edward had given me, he knew I loved them. They made me feel safe as well as warm. In the middle of the night when it was scary and cold, I cuddled down under all of my blankets. They all smelled like something different. It was comforting. I could sleep with the scent of Edward, baked items, rose-tinted perfume, sometimes it was the only thing that helped me._

_ Once I had finished, the lady escorted me back down a white-washed hallway. It was time to meet the parents, again. The last time had not gone fantastically, Edward really didn't like talking about it. _

"_Alice Masen?" A pretty woman with honey hair and kind eyes was waiting for me in the room. I thought there would be two of them. _

"_Not Masen," I repeated Edward from earlier. _

_ This was terrifying. There were too many things happening at one time. I wanted to go curl up under my blankets, with Edward trying to get me to come out, and think things through. I wasn't scared of these people, nor had I been scared of the last couple that brought me home. It had been bad, but I knew escape was always possible. If Edward hadn't told me to wait for him, specifically there, I would have climbed out one of the windows. It didn't matter where I'd end up, bus stops were everywhere. Edward had given me two hundred dollars earlier, it was tucked into my shoe. _

"_My name's Esme. My husband is Carlisle. How would you feel about coming to stay with us for awhile?" _

"_I, uh-" _

"_I'm sure this is very scary for you. I heard about what happened with your last foster care parents." _

"_Then why don't you want Edward, too? He saved me! He came to get me! This place isn't good for him, he hates it, I know. He won't tell anyone, but they pick on him all the time because of me. That's the only reason he fights." _

"_I'm sure your friend, Edward, will be-" _

"_Brother," I crossed my arms. "He's my brother." _

_ The window in front of us wasn't black anymore. I could see into the room where I had left him. He stood with his back to us, both hands splayed on the wall in front of him. His eyes were closed, jaw tight. I knew that look. He was really, really angry about something. Had they done something to him after I'd left? His breath came in harsh pants. Grabbing one of the chairs next to him, his body was shaking, eyes a vibrant gray, I thought he was going to throw it. _

_ He paused, back straightening, Edward glanced behind him, directly into my eyes, and looked confused. I was confused, too. He shouldn't have been able to see me. We had both learned that the window was a one-sided mirror. It was only momentary, I saw the rage descend upon his expression again, worse than before. He left the chair where it was. Cracking his knuckles, his neck, I hated when he did that. In a rush of motion, he rammed his fist into the wall. I hated when he did that even more. _

"_We'll need to buy a punching bag." I heard a man's voice, the door closed behind me. A man with very blonde hair, and incredibly blue eyes stood against the far wall. I liked his voice, it was calming. His eyes were gentle, he smiled at me. _

"_Do you want me to leave?" _

"_No," I turned back to watch Edward. _

"_I heard you were uncomfortable around strange men, I didn't mean to frighten you." _

"_You didn't, and I'm not scared of men. They say that to make people feel sorry for me. I was never scared, Edward came and made them stop." I glared at them. I don't know why she introduced herself to me again. We had talked, briefly, before. No matter how many times I'd explained, something about Edward made it difficult for people to trust him. _

_ This wasn't the best time for them to be seeing him. I didn't know what had happened to him or why he was so angry. I wanted to be there, I'd hug him and make him feel better. _

_ His hand was bleeding. He left traces of red on the white paint after he'd punched it two more times. Sliding down to the floor, Edward sat with his knees up and his head back against the wall. He looked so tired, dark shadows lay under his eyes. That was my fault. He had stayed awake last night after one of the older guys threatened to… something about taking my cherry? Whatever it meant, Edward had given him a black eye. He also limped, held his ribs when he walked, and I'm sure Edward would have killed him had security not stopped the fight. After reading me a story, Edward sat with me until I fell asleep. _

_ He was talking to himself again now. _"_She'll be fucking fine," he exhaled sharply. "These are good fucking people. If anything happens, I swear to fucking Christ, I'll get her back. I don't give a fuck what they do to me. We'll hide until we're nineteen. She'll be fucking free. Then they can lock me up, I really don't give a shit." _

"_Alice?" Esme rose from her chair, crouched down next to me. "You'll be safe with us. No one will make you do anything you're not comfortable with. You'll be able to attend school, make friends your age-" _

"_I don't want to go to school," I interrupted. "People are awful. Edward taught me to read, to write better than anyone in my class. He was reading 'Treasure Island' with me last night…" _

"_This is a good school," she took my hand, made me face her. "The kids are friendly. No one hurts one another there."_

_I had heard that before. Separating myself from them, I went back through my conversation with Edward._ '_Treasure Island,' in which there was a character named Long John Silver... _

"_He lied to me." _

"_Who lied to you?" _

"_Edward," I felt my eyes tear up. "He doesn't have any friends, they're going to keep him here. I need to talk to him." _

"_Sweetie-" _

"_Let me out! I'm not going anywhere until I talk to him!"_

"_Talk to me for a few minutes, give him a little time to calm down. Boys are silly sometimes, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to see him this way." _

"_He doesn't hide anything from me. I don't want to go with you if he's not coming." _

_ No one was guarding the door. I slipped out of my sweater when she put her arm around my shoulders. Quick like a bunny, I got to the door, turned the handle, and tried to remember the way back to the room downstairs. They were chasing me, Esme had called for Carlisle. _

_ Too late, I had found him. _

"_You lied to me!" _

"_Alice? What the fuck?" _

"_Johnny Silvero? I'm not stupid, Edward!" _

"_What the- get the fuck out of here! What are you doing!" _

_ I kicked him in the leg hard as I could. I wanted to hit him, too, but he had hurt himself yesterday in the fight. His chest was bruised from where the guy had stepped on him. There had been nothing I could do about that. He had taught me that bruises faded on their I was younger, Edward had made it a game. He would show me the progress as the purple faded to green, to yellow. Every time I kissed it better, sometimes he let me butterfly kiss them, he told me I helped heal them faster. I believed him, for awhile, because the next time he'd show them to me, they wouldn't be so painful looking. I always asked to see them. He would only show me the ones on his arms and chest insisting that his pants protected any bruises on his legs. They didn't help with scratches or bleeding, but he said it was a fair trade, whatever that meant. _

"_You don't have _anyone_! Why would you lie to me? You promised!" I kicked him again._

"_I didn't-" _

"_Alice, slowly back away from him. Come over here, okay? Slowly…"_

_ I started crying. So much was happening, Edward was trying to make me go away. Did he not want to be my brother anymore? He had promised that he wouldn't lie to me ever again, white lies didn't count, he stressed. I didn't know what white lies were then, but he had been laughing as he said it. Nothing was bad if Edward could laugh. He rarely found anything funny, only when he read to me did he smile. Sometimes he used different voices for the characters. And I would be leaving him all alone... _

"_No!" I covered my ears to block them out. "Go away, go away, go away-." _

"_She's fine," Edward got to his feet and stepped in front of me so all of their attention wasn't riveted on me.. _

"_I really must insist…" _

"_Don't give a fuck." He backed us into a corner and spoke to me in a much calmer tone. "Ignore them, alright? They're not here. Its just you and me. What's wrong?" _

"_Why don't you want me? You said we'd stay together, you told me you loved me. I'm your sister. Why do you keep making me go with different people?" _

"_Stop crying, I hate that I fucking make you _cry,_" he was uncomfortable. It made me feel as though I were hurting him. He looked so… sad whenever I cried. Edward was never sad, I had never seen _him _shed any __tears. He told me it was okay, that I should get my emotions out somehow, but he would always go really quiet and then he'd be angry at himself. _

"_I'll cry if I want to, you're making me go away." _

"_Its not fucking like that-" He looked around and, narrowed his eyes at the four other people standing nearby. I was ignoring them. They didn't matter. Edward took me to the center of the room, walking carefully, and sat me down on the table with my back to everyone else. I sobbed harder realizing this might be the last time I'd see him. I wanted to stop, but wasn't able to yet. He knelt down in front of me and wiped my eyes with the bottom of his shirt._

"_They're good people, Ali. If they take you out of this hellhole, why not go?" _

"_Because you're still here," I reached for the box of tissues behind me. _

"_Yeah, but… well, shit. I don't know how else to explain this." _

"_So don't. Take me with you," I pleaded, "we can escape together again." _

"_And run for the next six years? They'll find us again and take us to another place like this. You don't want that, do you?" _

"_I don't care." _

"_So fucking stubborn," he sighed heavily. _

"_Don't curse at me. I'm more angry than you are." _

"_Really?" He used his shirt to wipe my eyes again. "Show me." _

"_What are you talking about?" _

"_You're angrier? Fierce little Ali-fairy, huh?" _

"_Yep, that's right," I glared at him, too. "I should kick your ass." _

"_Don't use language like that." He smiled, though. _

"_Why not? You do." _

"_We've been over this. You don't need to use words like that. They make people think of fighting. Who does all the fighting?" _

"_Only because you won't let me," I protested. _

"_Damn right I won't." He raised my chin so I looked him in the eyes. "I've taught you a few moves that you use… when?" _

"_Only in an emergency, or if someone tries to hurt me and you're not around," I repeated diligently. _

"_Right. I'm right here, I don't want to hear you talking that way. It, uh, bothers me." _

"_Fine," I huffed. "Are you still going to make me leave you? You owe me because you lied to me." _

"_Okay, okay, fine. I lied to you. I'm really fucking, er, really sorry about that, okay?" _

"_And you won't do it again?" _

"_Probably not." _

"_Edward," I gave him my best him-impression. _

"_Alright! Jesus, you're a menace, I won't lie to you again." _

"_Menace?" _

"_Scary, threatening," he grinned. "Terrifying." _

"_Me?" _

"_You're not going to kick me again, are you? I don't think I'd be able to take you on. You'd take me down in a second." _

"_No way," he made me laugh. "I've seen you take on big guys." _

"_Yeah, well, you and your bone-breaking kicks…" _

"_I hurt you?" _

"_No," he ruffled my hair. "You could have, though. You're strong as- er, you're really strong." _

"_Edward Masen?" _

_ I turned around. They were still here, I'd forgotten. "Stop calling him that! He hates being called Masen. How many times do we have to tell you!"_

"_Me, focus on me, okay?" Edward gently turned my face back toward him. "Do you trust Esme and Carlisle? Do they scare you?" _

"_They're not… menacing? Is that right?" _

"_Yeah, that's right. No big words right now, alright? Tell me what you think of them." _

"_Edward, this isn't procedure-"_

"_Interrupt us one more fucking time," he snarled at the attendant. "I'm trying to make her feel better. Her opinion _does_ fucking matter. Now, back the fuck off for a minute so I can do your job." _

_ I didn't like when he used that tone. It usually meant that he'd be forced into fighting. I didn't want him to hit one of the people who worked here again. They didn't like that very much. _

"_Ignore them" he said again. "Tell me about Carlisle and Esme. They seem nice, right?" _

"_Yeah, she smells like cookies. Carlisle's pretty, but he's a guy. Can a guy be pretty? They told me I'd go to a good school where people don't attack one another. Think they lied to me?" _

"_No," he shook his head. "There are schools like that, I'm sure they wouldn't endanger you." _

_ He looked over my shoulder, raised his eyebrow. _

"_You'll make friends there, go to parties or whatever. They'll buy you new clothes, give you a room of your own with plenty of blankets and a computer. You can tell them what books you like, and they'll buy them for you." Edward hadn't looked at me while he spoke. The words were meant for me, but it felt as though he were talking to them. I put my hand on the side of his face and did what he had done to me. His eyes met mine again as I made him face me._"_You'll be safe, loved," he continued. "You'll have plenty of food, lots of chocolate." _

"_We love chocolate." _

"_Yes, you do," he smiled. "See? Good things wait for you, you've just got to take that step." _

"_What if I really don't want to go?" _

"_Then… then you'll stay." His eyes were dead-gray. He was sad again. "No one will make you go anywhere if you don't feel right about it. I won't let them take you." _

"_That's not exactly how this works-"_

"_What did I fucking say?" Edward snapped at the attendant before he glanced back at me. He looked torn. As always, he was never confused for long._

_ I hopped off the table and moved behind him. I was trusting my instincts, Edward said they were important. I felt as though some huge fight was going to break out. He'd be really angry if someone hurt me. It was best to step back and give him space to move. His rules, I followed them most of the time. He was always more injured if I broke his rules._

"_So, what's it to be, Ali-fae? Stay here in this dingy shit-tank, or go to a, new, uh, home, with lots of food, television, closets of clothes, chocolate in the kitchen?"_

"_Stay." _

"_Take more than two seconds to think about it, will you?" His eyes flicked to the other people. "This is a really big decision you're making." _

"_If I go, you don't come with me. If I stay, I stay with you. I don't need to think about it. That's what I've decided." _

"… _alright then," Edward sighed softly. He cracked his neck, addressed the other people. "She stays. Anyone who doesn't agree with that... just try and fucking take her." _

"_Call Greg," the attendant said. "Get Sam, Dave, and George, too." _

"_Back," Edward said to me quickly. "You stay far the fuck away. Don't leave the room unless you're scared someone will hurt you. I'll keep them away from you, but if anything happens, if someone breaks past me and I don't notice, yell for me, okay?" _

"_Okay." _

"_That, uh, won't be necessary," Carlisle spoke up. "Make the necessary arrangements. We'll be their guardians. They come home with us today." _

"_What?"_

"_Edward," I understood what they were saying. He was still in fighting mode, it'd take him a minute. "They're going to take both of us! We're going to a nice school! We'll both have clothes, and chocolate, and nice things because I told you, if we stayed together, we'd be adopted together! I was right, see? And you wanted to make me go with them by myself!" I took his hand. He wasn't leaving my sight, not again. The last time the group home people thought I was in danger, they locked him away in a room by himself. That hadn't been here, it was in Florida when Edward had come for me. _

"_What the fuck?" he asked again, tension rising swiftly because of his confusion. I tried to turn him around so he wouldn't be able to see all of the people. It had helped me. I pulled on him with all of my strength. Finally getting him so that we were both standing with our sides to them... better than nothing, I guess? _

"_They're taking both of us," I repeated. "You and me. We're both going. You'll learn to be a doctor, I can be your nurse! We can both save someone famous and be rich together! We'll have a real mom and dad! They're really nice," I shrank behind him, remembering. Oh _no._.. "I was mean to them. Think they're mad at me?" _

"_Not at all." Esme smiled, knelt down and held her hand out to me. I dragged Edward over with me. Keeping hold of his hand, I returned her hug with one arm. "We couldn't be mad at you. Your brother was right. We have all of that and more at home. Help him get his things together and you'll be able to see for yourself?" _

"_Edward," Carlisle acknowledged him. They awkwardly shook hands. "You've taken great care of your sister, I'm sorry we didn't see that before. We would be honored if you'd come with us... to be part of our family." _

_ Edward winced slightly at the word 'family.' He didn't like those words. Not mom and dad, family, home, safe. He tried to hide it from me. And while he told me there was nothing wrong with wanting those things, I could see him shut down whenever they were mentioned. _

"_Uh, yeah. I'll come along," Edward replied. "Er, thank you for interceding?" _

"_Interceding?" I asked. _

"_Mediating," Carlisle explained. "Um…"_

"_He stepped in for us," Edward studied Carlisle, I smiled. I knew that look, too. "That's what it means, to step in for someone in order to bail them out of a tough situation." _

"_He teaches me words," I told Esme. "He knows a lot of them. If he says something you don't understand, ask him. He'll tell you what it means right away." _

"_I can see that," she smiled. "Edward's a good older brother, huh?" _

"_The best," I replied, seriously. "He's taught me a lot…"_

"_Let's go get my stuff," he snorted. "I, uh, I don't know if you want to come with us. Its not the nicest- I don't have that much to get together. We'll only be a second or two. We won't run." _

"_I didn't think you would," Carlisle stepped back from the door. "We'll meet you back here in a few minutes. Then, I think, Esme and I would like to speak with you alone?" _

"_Why?" I had to ask. _

"_We got to know you a little, remember? You came to talk to us? We feel that Edward should be given the same opportunity," Esme hugged me again. "I've got a few books in the car, let me go get them. I've got a stuffed animal for you, too. Do you like animals?" _

"_Yeah, I like dogs and cats, especially. Edward used to take me to a pet store. The owner let me pet some of them when they weren't busy. I touched a lizard once, he changed colors like Edward did." _

"_Like Edward?" _

"_My, uh, my tattoo. When I got it, my skin went red and peeled a little before it got better. That's what she means, right, Alice?" _

"_No…" _

"_She's so funny," he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, covered my mouth. Oops, was that one of the stories he didn't like me telling people? Why wouldn't he want them to know about his bruises? It was another example of how he protected me, shouldn't they know? _

"_I'll explain later," Edward let me walk through the door first. "We'll... be right back."_

_**o . o . o**_

"I'm not saying that there aren't any risks involved with this plan." Edward took a drag of his cigarette and ran a hand through his hair. "It's just that the risks are _far_ below what we've dealt with before, and I'm pretty confident that nothing will go wrong. Besides-"

I interrupted. "Just because the chances of you being incarcerated are _lower_… that doesn't mean the risk is nonexistent! Also, being _pretty confident_ is not the same as guaranteeing me that you won't be hurt!"

"Hurt? I'm going to be hurt. Whether or not they'll win, however, is a different story."

I should know better by now not to argue with him when he was in a mood like this. All he could see was the money. Damn Mike Newton, I was liable to kill him myself. Of all the people in Forks, Washington, he _had_ to pick-

"Edward," I sighed. "I need you to think about this really, really carefully. Make a pro-con list."

"A pro-con list," he repeated.

"You made this deal," I pointed a finger at him. "Its bad enough you go to pick up illegal drugs, but meeting in an abandoned parking lot, facing four people, because Mike _stole_ from them? Why can't you see the wrong in all of this? Bella?"

She was rational, level-headed. I hadn't known her very long, but Bella felt like a sister. She was cool, sassy, I absolutely loved her wardrobe, and she got along with Edward. That, in and of itself, was really amazing.

"Your plan isn't the smartest ever," she sighed. Holding up a hand, preventing us from speaking, she continued, "He knows its not wise. _Yet_, despite all of that, he's managed to judge all of the risks, benefits, and… I have to admit... it's a rather impressive plan, especially given his time restraint."

She was an ass. Why was she taking his side? They were dating now, and had openly admitted it, but that didn't mean she had to back him up! Why was I the only one that saw the reality of this situation?

"The chances of being detected are slim to none," she continued. "He has a lookout. If anything happens, he'll be able to get out of there without anyone tailing him. I'm sure he's more than capable of winning the fight."

"Thank you," Edward acknowledged her.

"How so? Going up against four well-trained fighters, because you don't send people after someone unless they know how to handle themselves, is not, in any way, wise! In fact, it's the opposite of wise! This doesn't need to happen!"

"Alice," Bella replied. "What are the chances he's going to do it anyway?"

"With an attitude like that? Pretty damn high!"

"I'm going as backup. While I can't guarantee that nothing unexpected will happen, between the two of us, I'm sure we'll be fine. My Dad is Forks Chief of Police. If we're caught, we'll get in a shitload of trouble, but he'll know what to do. Carlisle and Esme have pull in this town, too. I'm not saying that we should use them. In fact, we should do our best to keep them out of this situation, but it doesn't hurt, y'know? To have people on our side?"

I stopped to think about it for a second. If Bella were to go with Edward and I, we could both make sure that nothing unplanned happened. She could keep an eye on Mike, I could watch for Edward, and we'd never have to think of this night ever again once we got home, safe and sound.

"Good, I'll go with you, then."

"What? No! What the fuck?" Edward glanced over at us.

"No?" Bella crossed her arms.

This was going to be good. Maybe. Not that I was advocating their fight, but if Edward managed to piss her off enough, he might not go in the first place! That would be fantastic. I had noticed that he'd stopped glaring at people as of late. Courtesy of Bella? Most likely.

In fact, he answered _everything_ I said. I know my sentences tend to run on and branch off in unexpected directions. Edward had always been able to keep up, though his replies were reminiscent of farm animals. Grunts, groans, snorts; a man of few words, indeed.

They continued to argue, which wasn't really arguing. Can two people be in a verbal fight when they didn't exchange more than six words per sentence? I didn't know how they were able to communicate. With Jasper and I, we talked about _everything. _Edward and Bella? I knew they had talked, barricaded in his room, but I still didn't know about what. For all I knew, Edward had introduced her to his obscene collection of porn. With both of them stoned all the time, though not so much anymore I noticed, I had to wonder if they spoke at all. Did they just stare at the ceiling making remarks about the 'pretty lights?'

"Why the fuck do you keep saying no? If its safe enough for you, its safe for me. Are you hiding something from me?" Bella caught my eye, looked apologetic, "What aren't you telling _us_?"

"Nothing." This was the first glare I'd seen from him in a long time. "I've told you everything. If I'm fighting, I can't be watching out for the two of you. You don't want me to be unnecessarily hurt? Don't distract me."

"I don't distract anyone," Bella snarled. "I'm not some fucking side-piece. I don't sit at home while the guy goes out to deal with problems."

"If this were anything serious, you'd be with me. I don't want those people to know who you are. I especially don't want you connected to Mike Newton. He's over his head and sinking fucking fast. You trust me, don't you? I'll be fine, babe."

"Trust?" Bella's eyes darkened, she curled her hands into fists on the blanket. "If _you_ trusted _me_, you wouldn't have any problem with extra backup. I know how to fight! If you go down, let me be your second."

"I really don't fucking think so."

"Goddamnit! You're so fucking stubborn! Pull your head out of your ass for a minute! What if they dislocate something? What if you can't drive home? What if emergency medical aid is required?"

"I'll make my way back," he shrugged. "I've done it before."

"No," she decided. "Too bad. I'm coming with you, or I'll meet you there. Its your choice."

The two of them did this a lot. They seemed to forget that there were other people present. I didn't mind. It was more interesting to watch them argue. Edward needed this, he had become too used to having people do what he wanted. Now that Bella was backing him against the wall, dangerous as that was, I couldn't help but be curious how he'd resolve things.

"I've got to get home. I'll be here tomorrow evening at six. We can go over any other last-minute planning then. Try and find out more information; fighting styles, weight, build, and we'll assign jobs accordingly."

"Bella-"

"You guys need time to talk, anyway," she smiled cheerfully. "Night, Alice, Edward."

"What the fuck-!"

"I can let myself out," she closed the door behind her.

Edward was seriously pissed. Seeing as I liked the way she had manipulated things, I wasn't inclined to make him feel any better. I put my hand on his arm so he wouldn't go tearing after her. It wouldn't end well. Bella was going to go regardless of what Edward wanted, just as he was probably going to go regardless of what I wanted.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Money," he answered immediately.

"Nope, try again."

"Alice…"

"You don't even like Mike Newton! Why go to all of this trouble for him?"

"He's paying me over two thousand dollars for about an hour of my time. Do you know of any other way for me to make that much, for the least amount of effort?"

"When have you ever been worried about working for what you want? Fighting them, by the way, is going to take a lot of effort! Become a surgeon, you'll make a ton of money. You can help people at the same time, since you're so worried about the weak and vulnerable now!"

"That'll take at least six years, probably more. What if the money runs out?"

"Two thousand dollars won't help much then, will it?"

"And eight dollars an hour will?"

"Edward, there are other ways to make money!"

"I'm good this way," he shrugged. "Why fuck with a good thing?"

"Oh my _god,_ you're insufferable! What's the real reason? If you tell me the truth, I'll let you go."

He stopped short, studied my face carefully to make sure I was telling the truth. It seemed as though he believed me.

"Fighting Jasper was… helpful. I've still got it, Ali. I could have beaten him, if it were a real fight. I had a question and made the mistake of asking it aloud. Whomever was tuning in decided to answer it. Mike Newton had a problem, I can make it go away, get money, and have my answer."

"What was the question?"

"Don't worry about it," he laughed.

"What if I gave you a magic eight-ball? Would that suffice?"

"Seriously?"

"You know what you're feeling now? Confusion, a little shock mixed with disbelief? I feel the same way about you going to fight these guys!"

"Do you want me to back out? I remember the promise I made to you, I've thought about all the risks. If you really _feel_ this is a bad idea, I won't show up. Mike can handle his own problems."

I hated when he did this to me. Manipulative bastard. No, not manipulative. He really would call this whole thing off were I to say the word. There was no logical reason why Edward wanted to face them. I had no idea why he needed to prove…

"You're worried about Bella." I should have known. "If you don't win this fight, you won't feel that you're able to take care of her. That's it, isn't it? You haven't fought anyone in so long, you think you've forgotten how? Now that the opportunity's presented itself, of course you're willing to jump in-"

"Not exactly. Its not for Bella or anyone-" He kept talking. I could see the truth. It even made sense now. Edward was a very physical person. We had lived in Forks for a good while, yet he hadn't lost his edginess. Only at home was he relaxed. When we were at school, he still walked as though expecting to be attacked. That personality trait of his might not ever go away. I could remember plenty of times people had ganged up on him. No matter how hard he were hit, the abuse he made his body sustain, he always got up. There were _very _few skirmishes that Edward lost, and even then, he found his revenge sooner or later.

With me, and now Bella, he had started becoming the person he'd be if his father weren't such an abusive asshole. His past was fading, safety and security awaited him. He didn't trust it, I didn't know if he'd ever trust it. The relationship he had with Bella worked because neither of them were particularly open people. They managed to trust one another, but I worried that both of their experiences, in the past, would lead to them having problems in the future.

That side of me wasn't on full-scale alert. Seeing the way he looked at her, how she angled herself toward him all the time. The hospital had really jump-started things for them. I'd never forget the possessive way Edward had shielded her. Even Carlisle had stopped and stared at his display.

If Bella hadn't saved me, chances were the two of them would end up hating one another. I knew the way Edward worked. He'd try to sleep with her, and when that didn't work out- because the two of them were meant to be more than fuck-buddies, anything less than what they have now wouldn't work- he would grow confused, isolate himself, and enrage Bella with his avoidance.

I, honestly, don't know why he stepped in to help her. Perhaps it was because she had saved me. His sense of honor, and his penchant for taking all of the blame, regardless of whose fault it really was, made Bella interesting to him. I had seen Edward walk past violence, crimes being committed. His motto, for the longest time, had been- if it doesn't have any benefit for us, don't get involved. Yet, against everything Edward believed in, he hadn't been able to leave Bella alone.

The day I had seen her sporting a hickey, I had wanted to hunt him down and demand an answer. Jasper had stopped me. Laughing at my need to have an explanation, he said that I should let _them_ tell me about their relationship's change. His advice was good. It nearly killed me, but I managed to wait for their confirmation.

The way he had said it, so sure, as though he were really surprised at my reaction. How long had he considered her a girlfriend? He probably didn't even know. And he had called her 'babe,' he _never_ used endearments! Well, he never let any chick sleep in his bed. They all left after they'd done their thing. He actually waited to finalize things with Bella? That was astounding. I almost didn't believe them. The fact that he wanted her was obvious, not in a physical way, most of the time; I really couldn't believe that he'd waited so long to take her.

I also noticed that Bella had been wearing his ring. Did either of them know the significance? She had worn one or two of his shirts, too. His hoodie, even. What the hell was that about? I made a mental reminder to relocate one of Jasper's shirts.

"The main point," he sighed. "Do you want me to back out? Do you want me to call this off?"

"Yes," I said immediately.

"Fine," he replied. "Its done, don't worry anymore."

"… no, I can't do that to you," I glared at him.

"It really doesn't matter. Don't even worry about it."

"Obviously it does," I pointed out, "otherwise you wouldn't be in this situation. Mike Newton, of all people? Seriously? You have something to prove, you're going to find a way to satisfy your curiosity no matter what. At least this way you'll have Bella and I to watch your back."

"Yeah, about that…"

"That's the deal," I insisted. "You let Bella and me come along while you do your thing, I'll stay out of the way. I can help Mike be lookout, I know how its done. Fight fast, take'em down, then we go home and drink while I, or Bella, patches you up."

"Alice…"

"Take it or leave it, buddy."

"Alright," he said after awhile. "Try and keep Bella occupied. I don't want her running in to fight next to me."

"Why not?"

"I… just don't," he replied. "I don't know why, okay? Keep her away for as long as you can, okay?"

"Okay… sure, fine, whatever. Now, tell me about Bella. What do you think about her? You love her, right?"

"Whoa! What the fuck? Love?"

"You do."

"I, uh... I _care_ about her. She _means_ something to me. Why do you need to use the word 'love?' Isn't it enough that she and I are dating? I called her my girlfriend, remember how you were happy about that?"

"Uh, yeah," I rolled my eyes. "But its not enough, no. You're lying to yourself, you love her. I think I love Jasper, and I've known him for far less time."

"Okay, well you've always been more open to things like that."

"You've got to let her in sometime. Why postpone the inevitable? I'm not saying you should tell her right away, but at least admit it to yourself."

"Not yet," he shook his head. "I don't know what I'm feeling. Don't fucking _tell her_ this, okay? It'll probably freak her out. It would freak _me_ out. It _does_ fucking freak me out. What the fuck?"

"No it wouldn't. It'd make you happy. I don't think it would scare Bella. Ya'll might need some time to think things over, but I think the end result would be more than either of you can comprehend."

"Alice, I'm serious."

"Alright, I won't tell her. _You_ should be the one to tell her, if you ever get around to it."

"This isn't something you schedule in, you know? It's not like I can make a post-it note to remind myself... not to mention, I don't _know_ if I love her."

"You haven't said anything to suggest otherwise."

"About Jasper, you _think_ you love him?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "I really think I do."

"Why don't _you_ tell him?"

"He's going to tell me first."

"That's so… unhelpful," he laughed.

I wanted to bounce around, my happiness was all-consuming. With his last statement, I had gotten my proof. He loved her and was fishing for ways to tell her. Why did they make everything so damn complicated? They planned dates like battle strategies!

"I'm supposed to meet up with him tonight, actually. Go do your homework, if you haven't already. If he says it tonight, you've got to admit it to yourself."

"No, uh, no, I really fucking don't."

"Sure you do. It's a good parameter, and it'll make your life easier. You know, I can tell you secretly want to acknowledge it. You love her."

"Go, Alice," he snorted. "I'm fine, I'll handle things. Good luck on your date."

"Thanks," I hugged him and felt him laugh.

"Thank you," he cleared his throat. "I mean, for not enforcing the 'don't fight' mandate. Thanks for understanding."

"I do, and I don't. I figure you'll explain once this is all over. You talk to me about everything, eventually. If you get caught, I'll be super-pissed at you for a long time."

"Fuck that, I can't handle you super-pissed."

"Good," I opened his door. "Keep that in mind. Oh, and by the way? You love Bella. Think about that while I'm gone. We'll talk more when I get back."

**Authors Note 4: **  
Okay, this chapter was difficult as _fuck_ to write! Alice's back-story was fine, I had that planned out a long time ago. Trying to think as an eleven year old, and then having to go back and rewrite as someone with her experiences, at fourteen or fifteen? Son of a bitch. I know there are a lot of open-ended things when it comes to Edward and his whole POV of the italicized portion, but I use that as an escape-clause. If things change, even marginally, I might have to come back and alter things in this chapter. To prevent that, I keep details a little… vague, at least when it comes to Edward. It'll all tie together in the end, promise!

**Authors Note 5:  
AngelaSampedro99-  
**You actually really fucking nailed it! You got my reference to the earlier chapters, where they stage a holdup in the hospital. I figured, why not give them guns? Haha, it made sense to me, anyway, and you too. =D!

**VAVikingGirl-  
**Thank you! I didn't want to make Mike be pathetic... just kind of an idiot. =P I liked the way they portrayed his character in the movies, and I don't hold anything against him in the books. Thanks again!

**DodgerMcClure-  
**Hahaha, hell yes! And more fun in future chapters, provided no one does anything stupid.

**Tahughes-**  
I'm really, really glad you can see what's going on. Means I'm doing my job, =D. I'll try not to hurt him too badly. Probably, muhaha.

**Sarix Angel-  
**Your friends sound fun, I'm sorry you didn't have fun at the prom or the night after! That sucks a lot. Good luck with the moving and your start at the university!

**Jdonovan09, Acw1, Hbhorselover, Cinnebar-  
**Wow, thank you! I'm exceedingly grateful for all of your reviews, the fact you love the character development, this story. =D, all of you are fantastic!

**Kitasky123-  
**No problem, you've done the same for me! I'm glad you liked the fight, and the rest of the chapter. Mike is an idiot, haha, and going to get worse. =/

**Rachycullen87-  
**Wow. Thank you very much! Your review made me go- O.O 'snoopy dance. Hahaha. To answer your question- no, Bella won't become pregnant in this story. I was just trying to show that, despite Edward's problem with commitment, Bella means enough to him that he's willing to stick around were it to happen. I know, crazy, right? Haha.

**Mephis1-  
**Hi! You make me really, really happy! I'm not sure if James will be trailing Bella to Forks yet. I don't think so... because I can't think of any logical reason why he'd take a plane just to get her… but I don't know. They do have a lot of obstacles, I'm pretty sure they'll make it through them. No real worries yet. I have read **Clipped Wings and Inked Armor**. Have you read **Inked** by **ARenee363**? Its fantastic!  
**o  
**I hope this chapter answers some of your questions for chapter 21! I don't trust guys like Mike, either, but I _do_ trust them to screw me over. I'm pretty sure Edward knows that, he'd better. I didn't mean for Jacob to show up! He made an appearance in my other story, too! It was a 'What the fuck' moment. He completely took over for a few chapters. It pissed me off. Its not that I don't like him, but… I really don't have a thing for the werewolves, heh. Now, in this story, he has a gang? Jesus christ. =P

**Ccaajjaa-  
**Hehe, thanks very much! I'm usually up really late, if you ever want to IM. Name's 'FirestarBlake21.' I'm not planning any major character death, everyone can breathe a little easier. I've never been one for killing them off, and if I do, it doesn't end that way. =)

**Fliberty-  
**Agreed. I don't know whether Jake will actually be there, but he's definitely someone pretty big in the story. Not sure to be happy or exasperated with that. Thank you for the review!

**My4kids-  
**You live in Alaska? That's awesome! I really, really like that you're raising them to think for themselves, not to follow the trend. People like that are rare, and I'm always happy to hear they're out there. =D. The Mike-gang-showdown is still in the works, not sure how that's going to play out. Gah. Annoys me, haha.

**The Blessing and the Curse-  
**You didn't offend me, not at all! I was a little confused, but figured you meant it for the single chapter. I took it as a compliment either way, no worries! I'm really happy you love this story so much! I fully intend on finishing this story to the end, hopefully not the bitter end. =P

**LondonGoth-  
**Thank you, thank you! Cool name! I've been dying to get to Europe. Saving, as we speak, London's the first place I hit. Followed by Scotland, Ireland, maybe you could give me some places that aren't so… touristy? I don't want to be that annoying person with a camera, looking confused as hell.

**MizzezPattinson-  
**Yay! Thank you so, so much! You're incredible!

**Angel04une-  
**Feel free! I'll send 'Handcuff' Edward your way! You make me laugh, you're awesome. =D Good suggestions, if I don't use them, you should write a story with them incorporated! It'd be cool, and I'll come review soon as this story is done!

**Mercedesfrk1121-  
**Yeah, trouble really follows him around. Whoops? Heh. Thanks!

**Spunk-ransom-lover1981-  
**Haha, the Cake song always makes me happy. Bella was really sneaky, I almost hesitated in adding the part about where she shoots him, but… it worked in the end without making her seem like an ass. ^_^. Not sure what Mike's fate is yet, haven't actually thought that far ahead… good point to bring up, thanks!

**End Note:  
**Thank you **Mephis1 **for blogging about 'The Handcuff Bracelet!' Not sure how those ' things work, before or after the ! Doesn't matter, never mind. I can't believe you added it to the blog! Thank you so much! O.O

Thank you also to **MizzezPattinson** and everyone else who Twitters recs for this story!


	23. Step Up

**Chapter 23  
- Step Up**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:  
**There are so many ways this could go. Hope you like the end result, here goes nothing….  
**Authors Note 3: **However long after the last update, I added quite a bit to the fight and shower scene. None of Edward's past memories were there. The chapter seemed disjointed to me. Started writing him calming down and well, this is the end result.

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Break**- Three Days Grace  
**Fuel The Hate**- Soulfly  
**Step Up**- Drowning Pool  
**No Submission**- Static X  
**The Fight Goes On**- Pro-Pain  
**Sex Machine**- Dope

**Edward's Point of View**

"What the fuck are you wearing?" I stared at Bella in stupefaction. Her figure was completely concealed. She wore men's jeans, held in place by a thick black belt. Once she had zipped her jacket, under which it seemed she had gained forty pounds, I might not have recognized her in passing.

"You wanted male backup, here I am. Call me Bill."

"I really don't think that's happening."

"You all but asked me for this ingenious plan. I've used this disguise before. You didn't want people to recognize us, they won't. I'll help Alice, we'll be ready in twenty."

"If you stay in the car, no one will see you," I pointed out logically.

"What if they drive by us? Not _drive-by _us, you know what I mean. They'll have a real mental image, it'll be easy to place us. You're pretty distinct as it is."

"Fine, it's a good idea," I had to admit. "What did you call me last night? A sanctimonious asshole?"

"I was mad," she smiled charmingly at me.

"And now?"

"We have a job to do. Ask me again in four hours, though if it takes longer than that... assume I'm pissed."

While Bella was busy making Alice seem more masculine, I found myself wondering how long she'd been a drug carrier. It really made me worry for her. I resisted asking her how deep into the business she had gone because… well, it was really fucking rude. She never delved too deeply into shit I didn't want to talk about. I could offer her the same courtesy. When she was ready to talk about it, I was here to listen, no judgment.

"I present to you- are you ready? Johnny Silvero!"

"Who? Why not Al?"

"I like Johnny Silvero," Alice replied dryly. "He has a car."

It took me a moment- that had been cheap as fuck. I really didn't want to explain all of that to Bella now. It wasn't my story to tell. She would find out soon, I was sure of it. We hadn't held our final tattoo conversation yet. I had skillfully managed to avoid it, but time was running out. She shared hers, I promised to tell the stories behind mine. That was going to be a really fucking fun evening.

"Let's go through this one more time." I took a deep breath and cleared my mind. Thinking of Bella, getting distracted at all could result in an instant take-down on their part.

"We use your dad's old car. You're sure the registration and insurance are up to date?"

"Yes," Alice answered her. "I triple checked."

"Where are the two of you when I go to speak with them?"

"In the car with Mike Newton," Alice answered me.

"Actually, I'll be sitting on the trunk of your car," Bella crossed her arms, looked at me as though daring to contradict her.

I felt no wariness about taking the bait. "No," I replied, "you're deferring from the plan. You, out in the open, vulnerable to anything that might happen, is not constructive."

"How am I supposed to watch your back from inside a dark car, looking out onto a darker parking lot?" she asked.

"Night vision goggles?" I suggested.

"Mhmm… Do you have said military equipment?"

"I actually do." Talk about a stroke of genius; desperate times, right? "They came with 'Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.'"

"Good for you," she glared. "That doesn't mean I'm using them."

"Do you have a bullet-proof vest?" I countered.

"Yeah, I do. I'm wearing it."

"Really?"

"Charlie gave it to me as a Christmas present a while back, don't ask. It still fits, though. I figured it could come in useful. Might as well use it since I own one, right?"

"What if they go for a head-shot?" I pointed out.

"Then we're fucked," Bella stated, very matter-of-fact. "In your scenario, they'd probably take you out first. You wouldn't have time to worry about me."

"You guys are so comforting," Alice pretended to sigh in relief. "I love hearing how my brother, best-friend, and maybe me, will die. It makes this plan so much more justifiable."

Okay… moving on… "If you guys see headlights, anything suspicious?"

"Alice drives, I get in the car, and we run. If we're pulled over, I say Mike lost his phone. We went to help him look for it. When the coast is clear, someone doubles back to get you," Bella replied.

Thanks to country roads, Alice and Mike would be able to see headlights at least nine miles in the distance, if not more. With the way our school was positioned, we would see them first. Flashing our lights wouldn't signal them to our presence until they were four miles away. At that point, we were probably fucked royally anyway.

"If something happens to one of you?" Alice looked back and forth between Bella and I. "No one wants to ask, so I will. What then?"

"In that case," Bella began, chewing on her lip, "I can see three variable options."

"One, you check the extent of their injury. If its bad, get them in the car," I stated.

"Two, the cops are coming. There's no time to check. You drive away," she held up two fingers.

"Three, you treat them there, call for an ambulance."

"Why isn't that included in Plan A," Alice asked.

This was really fucking strange. Bella had done an amazing job with their makeup and outfits. Both of them looked like… men.

"I'm not leaving you to bleed out on the pavement," Bella glared at me.

"Its best not to involve cops and doctors or leave ways for them to track us. That's why it'd be preferable to undertake amateur treatment rather than alert the authorities," I answered Alice's question. "It was never really a problem before. If one of us are injured, where's the first place we'll be taken? Straight to Carlisle."

"Would you be able to leave me?" Bella wouldn't be letting this go anytime soon, I could see determination written across her face. She wasn't giving away any other emotions, though I knew how I'd feel were she to say yes.

"…no," I sighed. "I really don't think I would. Fine, that plan's out."

"Good," her smile turned her dangerously dark eyes a lighter shade. "I wouldn't be able to abandon either of you."

"Great," I gathered my jacket, cigarettes, lighter, Ipod.

Fuck Mike Newton, why the fuck had I agreed to this? Did I want to back out now? There was still time, I didn't owe him anything. ... yet Alice and Bella were ready. We were seconds away from leaving the house. Why the fuck not? I'd stake things out when we got there. If the risks were too high, we could always leave then.

**o . o . o**

"Alright, stay in the fucking car. Please. I'll be back soon as I can."

"Fine," Bella said through gritted teeth. "You bleed, I get to sit on the trunk."

That had been our agreement. I needed to make damn sure none of them got any good attacks in. Bella would be watching like a fucking hawk. I had no doubt that the moment one of them opened a wound, she would be out of the car in a flash.

Everything was dark, had it not been for the three street-lights in the parking lot, we'd be fighting blind. Mike and Alice were sitting in his car near the entrance of school. If they saw anything, if Alice felt overly concerned for no reason, they were to flash their headlights.

Bella was acting as my backup. I didn't trust Mike, therefore I didn't really know who, or how many people I would be going up against. Tension ran down my spine, anticipation curled in my stomach. They were here in two cars, both black. My Volvo was nicer than both of them, but I was driving an old SUV. They would probably know who I was and what type of car I drove. If they hadn't obtained that information, there was no need for me to hand myself over on a silver platter.

One of their car doors opened. Three burly, heavyset men climbed out. I couldn't see any weapons, but they could be hiding a gun anywhere. None of them had gotten out of the driver's side, there was at least two more people I hadn't seen yet.

"Kick some ass," Bella said.

"Stay safe." I closed my door quickly not wanting to advertise my other passenger. Tinted windows were a wonderful thing.

"You're not Newton."

"No, I'm not," I agreed. "Why are you here?"

"Mike stole some money from us. We'd like to get it back."

"The way I heard the story was a little fucking different from the way you're telling it now. You owe him money, over five grand. He sells for you, correct? He spent cash, out of his own pocket, to cover the drugs you wanted him to get rid of. Seeing as he sold them, probably quicker than you would be able to on the Res, I don't see the fucking problem."

"He's a whiney bitch that oversteps himself. You don't come into our territory and fuck with shit. Newton does, always fucking running his mouth. Now, seeing as he's gotten you to stand in his place, do you have what we're here for?"

"If I don't?" I asked, ready to see what weapons would be revealed.

"We send a message."

"Who the fuck are 'we?'" I glanced back at the car.

"Sam, Paul, Embry."

Good knowledge to have, I placed them in size order. Sam was the tallest of them, Paul second in line. The three of them spread out. They weren't going to attack yet, but they had made it clear that if my words weren't what they wanted to hear, they'd start sending said message.

"You don't have guns. Your new leader is on shaky ground, from what I hear. Now's not a good time to be making enemies. Mike, ass that he is, was due to be paid money by you. Consider him compensated."

Why not start by appealing to their business side? Part of it was true, mostly I was bluffing. I had no way to tell what weapons they were carrying, and I hoped not to find out the difficult way. If they were going to shoot me, they would have already. Not that it was pleasant to think about, but my experience with guns usually had people shooting first and talking later.

"What's it to you? You a friend of his?" That was Paul, there was anger in his eyes. Definitely more hot-tempered than the others.

"No. He owed me, finally paid me off. If you take him out, I lose my contact for drugs. Yes, I'm a fucking customer, and I pay well for what I want."

"You've got your money, you said? You're probably not going to hand it over to us. So, for the last fucking time, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Negotiating." I wasn't surprised Paul had spoken again. They weren't idiots, there were brains behind all of the muscle.

"Come to the Res, we'll give you a fair price," Embry said.

"No fucking way," I snorted. "I leave the Res, I'll get pulled over. They always do checks. Why do you think I had all of you meet me here? You and Forks police have some sort of treaty between you. No one bothers you here, but the second one of us head down your way, we're pulled over, searched, and told to leave."

I, truthfully, had no idea how Mike had continued to sell for them. Where the pickup and dropoff point was, I had no fucking clue. Port Angeles, maybe? I know a few of the people from the Res ran a bookstore in the town.

"Not our problem," Paul crossed his arms.

"Its not mine either. I don't want it to _become_ my problem. I'm content with having Mike as my middleman. You get paid, I get my drugs; what the fuck is the big deal?"

"He stole from us," Embry replied.

"You stole from him." I stopped to think about it. They had bought more than they could sell. When Mike kept the money they needed, it made them look bad. Especially with Jake just stepping in to take over, they needed everything to run smoothly. It made the transition easier, put less strain on the new guy. They were here to kick Mike's ass to send a message. Once that was done, the balance was restored. Their reputation wasn't threatened any longer. This would most likely end with us fighting, I couldn't see any other way of resolving things. The whole thing was entirely too Mafia for me. Parked cars, tinted windows; what the fuck?

"No deal. Run and go get him," Paul clicked his teeth as though dismissing me.

The first wave of anger hit me, heated and waiting. I cracked my neck as the tension built. Soon enough, I could feel the edge returning, the feeling right before a fight. This was going to happen, no amount of talking would stop it.

"I'm not Mike's fucking lackey, watch your fucking mouth," I said, evenly as I could. "I was hoping to resolve things without kicking all of your asses, but what the fuck? You want to throw down? Let's do this, then."

"Your stakes?" I saw no quarter on any of their faces. They had come to the same conclusion. I wasn't the type to be bullied, nor was I scared of them. I was prepared to do my talking with my fists, same as them. They had built this whole thing up to epic proportion. It really didn't have to be this fucking serious, I wondered who their leader was. Why wasn't he doing his job more efficiently? They wouldn't have put an idiot in charge.

"I win, you leave, and Mike is free to keep selling me the drugs I want. You win, I give him over to you. A waste of fucking time, in my opinion."

"You looking for work?" Sam spoke up for the first time. The tallest of them and the most intelligent, it seemed. See an opportunity, take it. He knew I would be a worthy adversary.

"No."

"Newton's paying you, you said. Obviously, you can be bought. Having someone like you working with us would be beneficial for everyone involved. What's your price?"

"Not for sale," I reiterated. It was really tempting, even now, but I wasn't going to get back into all of that. This was a one-time thing. "Favor for my dealer."

"Your rules?"

Good, we were getting right into this. I didn't want to waste any more time talking. Negotiating always went better with all of the opposing side beaten and bloody. Now that I had confirmation, my body itched for this fight. I had been paid for this, once upon a time, and I was very good at delivering.

"You guys carrying?" I asked, unable to think of any other ways to keep from directly asking.

"No. You?"

I hesitated to reveal that I had a knife. That they had answered, seemingly honestly... fuck them. "Keep it marginally clean and you won't have a problem."

"Its the three of us against… you," Paul sneered. "I don't think we'll need to worry about anything. I'll fight any way I damn please. Then you'll pay us for this waste of fucking time."

"We're not here to kill. I say we go for first blood," Embry said.

"Fuck first blood. If he's on the ground, and stays down, fights over," Paul snarled.

He launched himself at me first. I dodged his blow, centered my balance, and kept them all in eye range. If any of them got behind me- that wasn't going to fucking happen. I fell into a defensive stance wanting to get a feel for their fighting styles.

Sam had barely moved. He studied me as I was watching them. With the way he was built, Sam would favor using his weight and height. So long as I stayed away from him, saved facing him until last, I should be alright. Dodging Paul's attacks, I aimed a kick at his kneecap. He deflected that, but I sent him crashing to the pavement as I swept his feet out from under him.

Someone grabbed me from behind, fuck. One of their arms went around my throat. My body went pliant immediately to throw them off-balance. I purposefully fell to one knee and used the momentum to bring him, stumbling, over my shoulder and down onto his back. Straddling him, I caught him three times across the face. He wouldn't be going anywhere for awhile.

Embry pulled me off Paul with one hand on either side of my arms. My leg dragged against pavement, I gathered my strength. I had been anticipating that. Frankly, I was surprised that he had waited so long. Reaching up, I used his shoulders as leverage. I gained purchase on the ground and stood. My ankle twisted a little due to the horrendous angle, but that wouldn't stop me. He had grabbed my elbow. Wrenching it behind my back, flashes of dark light went off behind my eyes. Fuck, that hurt like a bitch!

How had he- _fuck_. He applied more pressure, I felt my shoulder bones grate against one another. A few more seconds of this and he'd dislocate something in my arm. Trying to think through the pain, tracking the tall guy's progression; he was getting closer, moving in.

"Over so soon," I heard Sam say.

I used my other arm, rammed it back hard into the guy behind me. His breath exhaled sharply and his hold slackened a little. That's all I fucking needed. I wrenched my arm out of his grasp. It could dislocate my shoulder, but if I didn't get him to let me go, it'd happen anyway.

That arm was out of commission for the time being. I couldn't feel my fingers. It was seriously pissing me off. I wasn't thinking things through. This was careless of me, rash. None of them had drawn blood yet, I made one of them bleed. Favor was on my side for the moment. Only two of them were still standing.

Embry came at me again, in the same way. Did he not know any other moves? I stepped in, wrapped one arm around his shoulders. He had done the same to me, except I knew how to followup. I rammed my head into his, brought my fist up into his stomach. Bracing myself, now or never, I fisted my right hand and shook off the pain. He doubled over, I got him once across the jaw, two or three hits to his ribs. My last shot, with my bad hand, was a punch to the face with enough force to send him reeling backwards. I tripped him. He hit the pavement, hard. He might have hit his head, either way, he was out of the count.

Paul was up, fuck. The two closed the space between us. They were going for a tag-team move. I was going to be hurt. The only question was, which of them did I want hitting me? Definitely not Sam if I could avoid it, he had some serious muscle.

I waited until they both got closer. At the last minute, when both of them attacked together, I ducked out of their grasp. There had been a small window when they both chose an opposite side, I had taken it. Embry fell to one knee on the concrete as my foot caught him in the back of his leg.

Only seconds, I couldn't waste any time. I couldn't even be certain he'd stay down. Ruthlessly, I drove my knee into his back. He fell to the ground, not unconscious. The angle had been wrong, I hadn't used enough force. I could have broken his back, thank fuck that hadn't happened.

Paul's fist connected with the side of my face, it felt as though I'd been hit with a tire iron. My vision blurred and I spat blood. He swung again, it missed me by millimeters. I felt myself smile in spite of everything that was going on. My instincts were still good, my body had retained its knowledge. He was quick for someone so broad. I punched him twice in the stomach before needing to retreat. Movement to the left caught my eye. Three guys were out and standing at the ready. One of them had really long hair. Paul was obviously waiting, he hadn't moved toward me again.

Something was going on from within my SUV. What the fuck? Why the _fuck_ was she getting out? Goddamnit! Son of a _bitch_! The next punch caught me off guard. I stumbled back, my arms automatically raised defensively. So much for fucking instincts; how many fucking times had I warned myself not to become distracted.

A nod from the guy with long hair and two of the men started walking across the parking lot. They weren't going in my direction. _Fuck_. I was going to kick Bella's ass. Could I catch them before they were on her? It was worth a shot.

I felt someone grab the back of my jacket, fuck it. They could have the fucking thing. I eased it from my shoulders without breaking stride. Bella was chewing on her lip, in a fighting stance. Jesus fucking Christ. Two of them, how could I take both of them out at the same time? It wasn't possible. I decided on the bigger of the two. Before I could tackle him out of the way, he pivoted and my head flew to the side. Pain, bright and sharp, it ran across my cheekbone, down my neck. It didn't fucking matter. In a burst of strength, I grabbed his arm, used the momentum to send him to his knees.

"Stay the fuck down or I break your bone," I snarled.

"Behind you!"

I reacted, but too slowly. Paul was hauling me to my feet, taking both of my arms and twisting them behind me. I held my breath and braced myself. Sure enough, heavy blows rained down across my chest and stomach. Fuck. Of course it would be Sam inflicting the damage.

I couldn't breathe. Sheer determination kept me standing. That and the support from Paul holding me upright. I heard someone screaming, cursing; had one of them gotten Bella? Using Paul as leverage, I kicked out with everything I had. I connected, the pain stopped. My head hit the ground and bounced once. Black light, I fought it with everything I had. Groaning, my bleeding knuckles grated against the ground as I got to one knee and stood despite the agony running through my body. Staggering slightly, dizzy and seeing double, I saw the one closest to Bella throw a punch.

A shadow fell across the pavement and I rolled out of the way before anyone could grab me. Bella cursed; had he hit her? Someone roared, adrenaline and fury coursed through me. I don't know how, but Paul was bleeding on the ground. Bella met my eyes briefly before taking off across the parking lot. Her lip was bleeding and swollen.

"You piece of shit," I snarled. All of my rage was focused on the guy she had left me with. One of his eyes was bruising already. Nope, that wasn't nearly good enough for me. I felt my arms wrap around his midsection, I rammed my knuckles against the side of his face once, again. He fell, I picked him back up.

Motherfucker wanted to hit a girl? _My_ fucking girl? I really, really didn't fucking think so. Bloodlust took over, he tried to hit me once or twice, but with rage taking over, he was no match for me.

"Jacob Black! Call this shit off right the _fuck_ _now_!"

I stared up in amazement, Bella threw a punch and hit the long-haired guy in the jaw. His entire body turned, she was still yelling at him. Paul had gotten up and took a step toward her. I left the guy I was beating the crap out of. If he managed to stand, it wouldn't be any time soon. I threw one of my arms out to prevent him from reaching Bella. Bad idea. Had they broken some of my ribs? Now that some of the adrenaline was fading, most of the pain caught up with me. My vision blurred again, it was difficult to breathe. They weren't broken, just bruised. I could tell the difference.

Fuck pain; I stepped in front of him and made it clear that we weren't in any way done yet. If he wanted Bella, he could come the fuck through me. The rage beat at me, pulsed through me. This was the asshole that had tried to prevent me from reaching Bella.

Long-hair was responsible for sending men after her in the first place. He was the leader, I'd fucking rip him apart in front of them all. _My_ message would be really fucking clear: No one fucks with Bella.

"Stop," Jacob held up a hand in Paul's direction.

I looked around the parking lot. Everyone was on their feet, some with assistance, but only Jacob, and one of the newer guys looked wound-free. We would be seriously fucked once this little time-out was called back into session. Six of them, two of us. No, I studied their wounds, the damage I had done. Only three of them and Jacob would be challenging.

"Bella? Bella _Swan_?"

"Yeah, you asshole. I can't believe you would let them attack me! What the fuck?"

"I- you-" he sputtered, "Guys! Back the fuck up!"

He glared at Paul, Embry, me. I immediately moved next to Bella. If that fucker had anything planned, they could pull my dead corpse out of here tomorrow morning. She put her hand on my chest as I shifted and readied my strategy for Jacob. No one else had noticed; how had she anticipated I'd attack him?

"Bella? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Helping a friend," she snarled at him.

"I'm- you shouldn't-" he sighed, crossed his arms. New indeed. He was showing way too much emotion, how the fuck did they know one another? "Its not safe for you here."

"It would _be_ fucking safe if you weren't fucking with one of my friends! He sold stuff for you, you didn't pay him. Get the fuck over it so we can get out of here."

"Calm down a damn minute! When did you get back in Forks? Why didn't you call?"

"Beginning of the school year, I'm still adjusting. You're the leader of a gang? What would you have done to welcome me back to Washington? Fuck me," she snorted. "I'm glad I didn't call."

"Back in the car," Jake motioned to the two vehicles behind him. "Thank you, I've got it from here."

Thank you? What kind of twisted reality had I been thrown into? Paul helped support the guy that had hit Bella. I felt renewed fury, he walked past me and it was all I could do to remain still. His blood was on my shirt, I wanted more of it. He could die with me pummeling him and it wouldn't be enough.

Being enraged had dwindled to sharp, acrid rage. Bella still had her hand on me, under my shirt in the back. Skin to skin. She helped keep me calm, in control. I kept seeing her brace as the two men had walked toward her.

This was the person responsible and they were having a friendly fucking conversation? Granted, Bella was pissed. I'd rather her punch him a few times or let me at him, rather than doing all of this verbal sparring. That last thought brought rage down to anger. This was the smart way. As I had told Bella, if there were an area in which she knew how to proceed better than I- I'd let her take charge. She and Jacob obviously knew one another if he had expected a call when she got to Forks.

"You've got _what_ from here," Bella demanded to know.

"Can you give us a minute?" Jacob addressed me with respect, but if he thought, for one fucking second, that I would walk away and leave Bella with him? Pansy ass motherfucker. He was lucky to be standing. Now he wanted alone time with her? Fuck that bullshit. Bella ran her hand in small circles on my back soothingly. She looked at me with a neutral expression. I took a deep breath.

"No," I answered him with every bit of calm I could call to the surface.

"I'm with him," Bella glanced at me. With one hand on her hip, she still looked really fucking pissed.

"Alright. Look, I'm sorry about what happened here. It was all a misunderstanding. You can report this to your father, but he won't do anything to us. We have a nice treaty with the police force here in Forks, and we run things differently on the Res. The only people you'll condemn are you and… whoever he is."

"I wasn't going to report anything," she snapped. "I really fucking hate being threatened."

"No, that's not- damnit-" he actually looked ashamed.

Who was he to her? It had to be someone damn important if he had called off his lackeys and made them leave.

"What, Jake?"

"No one will bother you, Mike, or… him again."

"The catch?"

"You do remember," he grinned at her, sharing some sort of inside joke.

"Of course I remember. Why do you think I punched you?"

"Yeah, that brought some memories back, too. Good thing you did, I wouldn't have recognized you otherwise."

"We're free to go?" Bella sighed impatiently. "Mike keeps selling to us, no charge? You don't tell anyone about this… misunderstanding, we don't say anything. You never, the fuck ever, come after anyone I care about."

"Done," Jake agreed easily. "Stipulation? You come visit me on the Res. I want to catch up and smoke some of the stuff I sell you, with you."

"No fucking around? We enter the Res and leave without being hassled?"

"Of course."

"Mind if I bring a friend?"

"I was a friend to you once, I'd like to become one again," he sighed heavily, giving in again. "Feel free. Anyone in particular?"

"Don't act stupid," she slapped his shoulder.

"Ah," he glanced at me. "That's how it is, huh? Can't blame a guy for trying, right?"

"I can do more than-" Bella interrupted me by taking my arm and wrapping it around her waist.

"I really want to get home. Its been _great_ seeing you again, Jake," I saw her lips twitch.

Yeah, I could agree with that. This was amusing, really fucked up- fucking unreal.

"What's your number? Can't hang out if I don't have a way to reach you."

I watched, stupefied, as they exchanged numbers. Maybe I'd been knocked unconscious. I really needed to get away from Thompson's novels, they were flipping me the fuck out. No one should be subjected to this mental hallucinating. Of all the fucked-up situations I'd been through, this was the worst fucking one. No end to any of this? He got to walk away scot-fucking-free after splitting my motherfucking girl's lip? What the fuck was my subconscious doing to me? No bloodshed, no message dealt. There was no outlet for _this_, whatever the fuck I was feeling. Bella anchored my arm to her side and I, on auto-pilot, walked back to the SUV with her. I opened the door for her before I climbed into the driver's seat. She put her hand back on my arm as I gripped the wheel and closed my eyes.

"I'm sure you're really confused."

"Understatement," I managed to say.

"I'll explain while you drive, keep your mind on something else."

"Shit," I rammed my fist onto the steering wheel. "I'll be right back."

Leaving the car on, with the keys inside, I got out and walked toward the front of the school. The walk did nothing to clear my head. I almost wanted to rewind time, expel more of my frustration. That one motherfucker had punched Bella. I should have fucking killed him.

Mike looked as though he was going to be sick. He saw the blood on my shirt, my wrecked knuckles and turned another shade of green.

"Where's the cash?" I snapped.

"I don't-"

"Cash. Now, Mike. I'm really not in the mood for fucking around. I'll motherfucking sell your car for parts."

"Here," he handed me an envelope with money in it. Newton's idiocy prevented me from bashing his face in. The envelope had personalized labels with his name, address. They were done with an Iron-Man design. I didn't even bother to count the hundred dollar bills. He wouldn't stiff me. I let the envelope fall to the floor of his car as I put the money into my back pocket.

"Last fucking time," I warned him. "You remember the rest of our bargain?"

"Yes," he squeaked.

"Good. You owe me an extra thousand. I'll collect next time I need to refresh my supply." Alice walked back to the SUV with me in silence. She was already hooking in the Ipod when I took the car out of park, pulled out of the parking lot.

"Thanks," I said through gritted teeth.

"No problem." She was uncharacteristically silent, I could see her in the rear-view looking back and forth between Bella and I. The music pulsed, I cracked my neck and knuckles to release some of the tension. Little by little I felt myself calm down. I kept seeing what might have happened as I lay on the ground like an asshole. Had he swung, connected with Bella's face? Which one of them had gotten the first hit? How badly was she hurt?

Fuck! I hadn't even bothered to check, what the fuck was wrong with me? Now wasn't the best time, I needed to get us home without getting pulled over. All of that had taken little less than an hour, no one should be patrolling. Still, even with my jacket covering my shirt, courtesy of Bella who had picked it up from the pavement, I was covered in other people's blood.

The ride home seemed to fly by. No one spoke. By the time I parked in the garage, I was almost coherent again. Alice hugged me carefully, phone already in her hand as she snuck up the back steps to the house.

"I'll talk to you both later," she said, the phone at her ear.

"Your room?"

I nodded, following Bella through the house. Once the door had closed, I threw my jacket over the peg on the back of my door. I stripped out of my shirt, undid the belt on my pants and stepped out of them.

"Shower," I grabbed a change of clothes, left my drawer and the door to the bathroom open as I started the water. Hot, definitely hot. I wanted scalding, if I had flesh left after I got out, I'd be really disappointed. I stepped under the water and watched as flecks of pavement ran down my arms, gathered at the drain. The water ran red, then clear as I washed all traces from the evening from my body. My knuckles stung, my chest ached and burned.

How many fights had I been in? They replayed in my head. Hatred, betrayal, the absolutely sick feeling that came from knowing I had wanted to die. I fought because I was good at it. Excelled in it, some people had said. What no one knew... I fought so well because it kept me from dying.

Life had seemed to stretch out before me, a dark abyss of hell and helplessness. There were, however, three things working in my favor. Along with the ability to take a hit, I was physically attractive, and could be bought conscious-free for the right amount of money All of those had been useful, that was my life.

My first 'girlfriend' had been five years older than I. She gave me cash, food, and a room to sleep in once a week. I had been such a motherfucking idiot back then, age thirteen, second family placement in effect. Memories came forth, and like my first and last PCP trip, I didn't entirely have any control over them.

She had been pretty fucking hot, had a car, and later, I found out, another boyfriend. As she put it, we were fuck buddies, secret friends who used one another for sex. I must have missed that memo. It took me a long time to accept it, ass that I was, I thought I loved her. Now, I realized how good her plan had been. She got to fuck me, which I had enjoyed, paid me for it, bought me food, and let me crash at her place.

If I ever ran into her, I'd have to thank her. She was part of the reason I was always up front with the girls I wanted to fuck. I didn't split hairs or pretend to love them; I told them, sometimes bluntly, that it was a one night thing. If the sex was better than good, we could hook up again. No girlfriends, no rings, no cute text messages or dating plans. None of them could ever say that I had promised more or led them on.

With my first 'girlfriend,' good as the sex had been, I still felt restless. I had been punished, repeatedly, for not coming home in the first place. Try as they might, my second family couldn't stop me from sneaking out one day a week. The father didn't care that I walked around starving, looking beat to shit and fucking destitute before I made my own money. Medical care, food- none of that was any of his concern. Yet he insisted that if I weren't home every night, the neighbors would talk, make him out to be the bad guy.

Sure, that's what would have made him the bastard. Another wonderful fucking father figure, at least I knew how to deal with them. Second-dad figure didn't get drunk more than twice a week. He was too drugged up most of the time to remember where the beer was. Things were actually sort-of okay when he snorted coke, not so much when he ran out. It really wasn't that bad. He had two rules: Be home before midnight and Be used as a punching bag when he was drunk and bitter. Seeing as he didn't drink often, and when he did it was a fifty-fifty chance he'd be an angry drunk… my odds were pretty good, better than Masen.

It was the whole loan shark thing that ended my stint at their house. The mother-figure had asked me to keep bad men away from her and anyone not dad-figure. She bought me a new shirt, dad-figure didn't drink anymore; again, I benefited most from that deal. Social services didn't seem to think so. One of them had come to check on me as I hurled a guy down the stairs. Thankfully she had been getting out of her car, out of his path. She came in, asked four questions, and two weeks later I was back in the system.

More fighting, then fighting for money; when I lay broken and bleeding on the ground, a little voice would always help me get up. As I internally fought two forces; one of them wanting me to just give in, stay down, hope for death- the other screamed at me to get up, be a man, be _more_… All of my self-loathing was unleashed on whomever I happened to be fighting with. If that wasn't enough, chances were I'd be unconscious shortly thereafter. It didn't matter back then.

But I hadn't been motherfucking knocked out tonight. As with every time I had survived to see another fucked-up day, my adrenaline was sparked. The water pulsed against my back, hotter than I could normally stand it. Pain, it felt so motherfucking good.

I was alive, still breathing. That fight had been completely unsatisfying. I should be nursing my wounds or working off excess tension. The punching bag Carlisle had gotten me was going to be used later. It had been so fucking long since I threw a real punch, smelled blood, unleashed pain. That was the reason for my trip down memory lane. My body had been addicted to it, this feeling. It had taken a long time to get it under control, the need to handle pain by beating someone while allowing them to beat me.

With the fight ending so abruptly, everything I had repressed was now released. Add those memories as fodder, we had a motherfucking bonfire of aggression. I heard the bathroom door close and tensed before I realized this was Forks.

Steam escaped from the shower as Bella got in with me. Funny how the mind works, with no viable human target for the bloodlust, it immediately channeled itself into sexual energy. My every nerve was attuned to Bella. She froze, I saw the pulse beating rapidly in her throat. I didn't see fear on her expression. Her eyes darkened and she inhaled deeply.

Once the doors fused shut, I backed her against the glass walls and braced both of my arms on either side of her. She looked at me dead on, her eyes dark with what I was feeling. I felt rage rise again and fisted my hands on the wall, her lip was swollen, painful looking. She pulled me close as I shuddered. For the first time around her, it wasn't due to pleasure that my body was shaking. I buried my face in her neck and inhaled fruit, violence, Bella. The water hadn't gotten to her yet; it didn't muffle the scent or wash it away.

"Do you have any idea-"

"Talk later," she bit at my neck gently, but with some pressure.

I growled against her skin. The barrier that had enabled me to keep control was close to crumbling. She had put herself in danger, purposefully, after I had emphasized that she stay in the fucking car. If I hadn't gotten to her in time… facing two fully grown men herself? I didn't give a fuck if she'd fought one hundred of them single-handedly.

I'd never forget the feeling of being held down, unable to get to her right away. Not knowing what would happen, especially not knowing what _had_ happened between that one guy and Bella. Fucking weak, I had been struggling to regain my bearings as he hit her. That would never, never fucking happen again.

"Do you want this?" I had to be sure. The pain in my body was forgotten. Everything faded except for Bella standing in front of me. I needed her, wanted to lay claim to her again, make it so she'd never risk herself again. There would be no reason to, I'd fucking protect her.

I was the Edward that lived in Forks rather than Edward Masen, the spineless foster-boy.

The water ran clear, I felt less corrosive. Bella was my girlfriend. I had a girlfriend, got good grades, and aside from my pot addiction, I'd been clean for years. Violence free, too. If Jacob fucked with her, I'd take him down. He'd see the side that had disappeared under need, want, lust.

Bella wasn't going to be a hate-fuck. I wouldn't do that to her, ever.

"Yes," she ground her hips against my erection.

"Be really fucking sure," I maneuvered us so the water hit the front of her body. She turned her head to the side, resting it on my shoulder, and looked into my eyes.

"I'm sure."

I latched my teeth into her neck, over the fading mark I had left on her last time. She rubbed against me as I brought one hand down her hip, over her thigh. Even with the water gathering at my palm, sluicing over her, I could tell the fucking difference. She was wet, wanted it as desperately as I did.

Not hate, I'd never hate her. I saw her punch Jacob in the face, the rage on her face as she had looked at me, turned to him. She had cared enough to risk her life because I bled? I doubted any hit the ground before she'd been out of the car. It wouldn't happen again, but… fuck. Suicidal, stubborn, fuck-hot, amazing Bella.

"Edward, wait-" Both of her hands wrapped around my arm, halting my movements. "Your ribs, we can't-"

"Are you hurt?"

"No…"

"Fuck my ribs."

This wasn't going to work, the shower wasn't an ideal place for this. I grabbed the soap, ran it over my body. Fuck shampoo, all I needed was for us to be clean. I started at her neck, hating myself for not being able to go slowly.

I tugged at her nipples, ran them through my fingers, before moving down her stomach. She spread her legs for me, leaning back against the cold glass, I heard her yelp and laugh. Soap suds ran over her lock and gun tattoo, the ink on her thigh. I studied her skin, looking for any new wounds. There were none to be had, the only injury Bella sustained was that on her lip.

I knelt, ignoring the sharp spur of pain as I pressed her further against the wall, it was impossible to wait any longer.

"Mine," I growled against her thigh. Regaining control, I nipped a path around the front of her leg. She fisted one hand in my hair, the other she brought to the side of my neck. I didn't feel her nails. Apparently she was still worried about me.

Was she afraid I wouldn't be able to perform? Fuck that. I hooked one of her legs across my shoulder and covered her with my mouth. She groaned, low and loud, rocking her hips involuntarily. That was all the incentive I needed.

She tasted so fucking good, was so fucking hot. Positioning herself, she changed the water's course. It slid down her body fluidly, pooling between my mouth and her flesh rather than blinding me as it had been. Always fucking considerate... My desperation rose, threatened to consume me.

_ Slower, you bastard. She just started liking this. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, shit. Wracking my brain, licking her gently while I wrestled to gain some self-control, I decided to use the atmosphere to my advantage. Bringing one of my hands up, I twisted two fingers inside of her. She was aroused, but not nearly enough.

I allowed some of the water to pool inside of my mouth. Breathing through my nose, I let my tongue flick across her. I wondered how it felt. The showerhead's pulse setting throbbing on her breasts, with the mouthful of water I had, working my tongue against her; I felt her clench around me. But I needed to get air. The water ran down her legs, I took a deep breath before altering things slightly. Getting more water, I carefully closed my lips around her clit. I moved my fingers faster, she cried out as I sloshed the water on my tongue against her. Not actually touching her with any part of my tongue, the water worked as I wanted it to. Stimulating enough to bring her off, but it would take awhile for her to achieve release this way.

"Fuck, Edward," her head rolled back. "You, just you. Please."

Soon, babe, I mentally promised her. I needed to feel her come, to scream, to drag her nails down my back eradicating everything that had happened tonight.

Finally, releasing the water I held in my mouth for the last time, I gave her what she asked for. I started at the base of her clit; long, sure licks with the flat of my tongue. Making sure that my lip ring stayed where my fingers moved inside of her, I used the stud against the very front of her. She cried out and bucked her hips. I felt the rhythmic contractions start deep within her and quickened the circles I was making on and around her clit. She came in a rush of warmth, so fucking wet, crying my name and searching frantically for something to grasp.

Why hadn't I felt her nails yet? _Fuck. _I needed to try harder, wanted to make her yell for me again. My cock throbbed as I turned the water off and threw one of my towels on the floor.

"Now, fuck me now," she panted. Getting on her hands and knees, she looked over her shoulder at me. There was no need to test it, that's what the shower had been about. I slid into her immediately, she took me in all the way and rocked her body back for more.

She was too sensitive right now for me to bring my hand between us, but… give me… two… motherfucking minutes… _fuck_. _Yes, come on, Bella. _I hit her g-spot roughly with each of my thrusts into her. It didn't take long for her back to lower herself down against the towel- so much fucking deeper this way. She took the initiative and braced all of her weight on one forearm. Twisting the left side of her body toward me, she reached between her legs. Her breathing picked up speed, she cried out each time I slammed into her.

Her knuckles were white against the deep red towel. The skin had resplit in a few places, fucking hell! Goddamnit, son of a bitch! I used one of my hands and held her throat as I brought her body up, fully against me. I could see her face, we were close as we could get. I teased one of her nipples between my thumb and forefinger. Letting go of her throat, I anchored her against my torso, my arm around her waist. Something about the angle, maybe all of the tension finally culminating, I felt the need for release riding me hard.

"Now, fuck, Bella-"

My head spun, the pain in my rib and chest mingled with the nearly unbearable pleasure of having Bella clench around me. I felt her gasps skitter across my neck. Her nails dug into my arms as she spread her legs wider between mine.

Her body froze. Eyes shut tight, she screamed soundlessly thrashing against me, bucking her hips hard back into mine. That was all it took. I forced myself to let go of her and slammed one of my hands against the tile. Pain, ecstasy, release- my body convulsed, I came inside of her swearing, growling; it didn't make any sense, I had no control over whatever it was I managed to say. I was kissing her chin, her throat, the new mark I had left on her.

I slid out of her slowly as she turned around so we were pressed together, chest to chest, before her lips met mine. It felt as though she were devouring me. She helped me snap the metaphysical pieces back together. I was whole, me. Her hands ran up and down my back, twined in my hair, down my neck, back up. I swallowed her small cries, aftershocks, and reveled in them. I'd never fucking get enough of her. If I didn't get up, I'd take her on the fucking bathroom floor again.

When we came up for air, Bella jumped back as though I had scalded her. I grabbed her arm, relaxing my hold immediately, as she tried to get away from me. What the fuck? Had I hurt her? What the fuck was going on?

"Your ribs," she used both of her hands to cover her eyes. "Shit, I'm fucking awful. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Edward, I wasn't thinking..."

I stared at her, my mind in no condition to study her expression and speak at the same time. She looked so upset, I had no idea why.

"I, uh, need a girl moment when you're done? Are you done?"

"Yes…"

"I'll meet you outside? Don't be mad, ok? Give me two minutes?"

"Of course," I stood and was thankful she had faced the other way to grab a towel. The room spun briefly, I could take the time she needed to get us something to eat. I was fucking starving, in more pain then I was ready to admit to, and I had no idea what was going on.

"Bella-" I made her face me.

Lifting her wet hair, I took another towel off the rack and wrapped it loosely so the ends hung down around her shoulders like a short scarf. Her eyes were a rich brown, hurting and sad. I felt a deep pain resonating inside that had nothing to do with the fight we had just been in.

"What's wrong? Talk to me."

I felt her fingers, light and tentative. She brushed her hand across my chest, over my side. I looked down and saw why she was so upset. My skin was bruised in several places, deep purple circles melded together across the right side of my ribs.

"The lighting in here makes it seem a lot worse, they don't hurt at all," I raised her chin so she'd stop biting her lip so hard.

"You lie so well," she snorted. "I've been there, I know you feel it. Why did you- I didn't need- sex was probably the last-"

"I did," I interrupted her. "I don't regret a single fucking minute, you shouldn't either. If I wasn't capable of it, I wouldn't have attempted anything."

"I'm not questioning your masculinity." I saw a ghost of a smile before she became serious again.

"Fighting makes me… lose it. I'm usually alone, and I take out my aggression in other ways. I didn't lie to you, though. White lies don't count," I grinned and was happy to see all somber feelings erased from her eyes.

"You're telling me that if I poked you right now, it wouldn't hurt?"

"You want to _poke_ me? Go ahead."

Standing with me, facing the option of taking on six people to two, having me fuck her in an adrenaline haze; she was talking about poking my ribs to test if it'd hurt? I couldn't help laughing. She smiled, a real smile, it spread across her face, made her expression bright and promising. I knew that look. Good things were about to happen because she had an idea.

"Wait for me in the bedroom, I've got a surprise for you. Do you have lotion?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied. "What kind do you want?"

"Of course," she laughed. "What do you have? Anything oil-based will work."

"No problem, see you in a few."

She kissed my shoulder, my neck, the sensation of her tongue on my lips… then she was guiding me to the door. I didn't bother with a shirt, an old pair of long black shorts should work. Food first, lotion second. What the fuck did she need it for? We had about three hours before she'd need to get home. A lot could happen in that space of time.

But... sandwiches sounded really fucking good. Peanut butter and jelly with a cold glass of milk, I could feel my stomach rumbling in agreement. Nothing ended a weird fucking day like pb and j.

**Authors Note:  
**I'll add thanks soon. Got to get to sleep, and figured an update now, without, would be better than waiting another day. The chapter will be updated soon. The next one has already been started! Fucking writers block, stuck on one damn paragraph. I finally wrote it, and the other three pages swiftly followed, finally, finally fucking ending it. 'yawn. Night, all! Hope you were happy with Jake, the introduction to new people, and the lemon at the end!


	24. All Pain Is Gone

**Chapter 24  
- All Pain Is Gone**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2: **  
The quote Bella references below is from Joss Whedon's 'Buffy' series.  
"_You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." -_ Spike  
The second quote is from X-Men, the first movie.  
**Authors Note 3:  
Bella's Costume:**  
http:/www(dot)buycostumes(dot)com/Nurse-Anita-Shot-Adult-Costume/68644/ProductDetail(dot)aspx  
**Authors Note 4:**  
Sorry for the wait! The chapter was put on hold for two days because I didn't like it. Then, everything that ended being a flashback was written today. The rest of it fell together and- bam- new update! I think it's a long chapter, worth the wait?

**Playlist**  
**Voodoo**- Godsmack  
**Fear**- Disturbed  
**Underneath The Ice**- Assemblage 23  
**Get Stoned**- Hinder  
**Do It Alone**- Sugarcult  
**Going Down In Flames**- 3 Doors Down  
**All Pain Is Gone**- Combichrist

**Bella's Point of View**

_ Asshole. Bastard. Creep. Dumbass. What derogatory word started with an E? Egomaniac? Sure, that sounded right. I was sitting in the SUV while he got to go and fight. I would be _safe _here. _

_ The only reason- single, fucking only reason- was because Edward had needed to concentrate. Arguing with him when he only had a day to prep could get him killed. Fuck Mike Newton's timing. If he had given us a few days warning, I'd be out there right now. When all of this was over, Edward and I were going to talk. I made him agree to accept my help. That's why I wasn't with Alice and Mike; why I was using a pair of binoculars like a Fucktard while huddling down in the front seat. This was just… infuriating, frustrating, and a little mortifying. Binoculars? What the fuck. _

_ Once his blood had been shed, I was free to do what I wanted. He couldn't have stopped me, but it was nice to have his assent all the same. I'd use tact, naturally. I didn't plan on running into the fight haphazardly. So far there was no reason to be worried about anything. All of them were talking. That was a good sign. If they had been here to kill, no one would have said a word. I could barely hear them even with all of the windows down. _

_ The binoculars weren't really needed, but I was hoping to catch sight of concealed weapons. With the parking lot's lighting and the moon, visibility was pretty good. I couldn't see into any of the parked cars, no matter which angle I tried from. The mirrors, all three of them, were tilted the wrong damn way. Whomever was sitting in the back with his window partially down- I couldn't catch sight of his face. _

_ Uh-oh. Things weren't friendly anymore. The three guys tensed. I jumped when my phone vibrated. Using my shirt as cover, I read the message from Alice. _

'_Tall guy is Sam. Embry is the shortest. Not sure about the third. Paul? How are you?' _

'_Fine. You? How do you know them?' _

'_Annoyed. We're okay. Jess and Lauren went through a 'Res' phase.' _

_ Good, it was nice of her to pass on that information. I matched names to faces and committed them to memory. If anything happened tonight, I'd be able to pick them out in a line-up. Alice, too, would have no problem with identifying them. _

"_Fuck first blood! - fight's over!" _

_ What? I held my breath and cupped my ear. Fuck! He had stopped yelling. _

_ I was focusing on Paul and therefore saw him lunge at Edward. Fight was on. My pulse raced, I put one hand on the door handle. I shoved all of my anxiety down until I felt clear-headed again. Later, I could lose it later. I centered myself with the fight. I'd learn their weaknesses and repetitive moves, just in case. _

_ Edward was skillfully evading attacks from Paul. Every second punch, he would retreat a little. The third time Edward aimed a sharp kick to Paul's kneecap. It was deflected, but he hit pavement, regardless, as Edward knocked him to the ground. I felt myself twitch forward. Someone was- … shit! Sam! His arm went around Edward's neck. I was chewing through my lip to keep from yelling warnings. Edward fell to his knees before Sam could prepare himself, and his quick thinking caused the biggest and tallest of them to crash down onto the ground. Nice! Fuck yes! _

_ Wasting no time, Edward crouched down and punched Sam repeatedly in the face. Fucking great; disorient, it was a good 'He won't be getting up for awhile' move. Edward glanced over at Embry and slammed Sam's head against the ground one last time. _

_ He didn't move out of the way in time-! I held my breath as Edward's ankle twisted strangely. He was being dragged along the pavement. Get the fuck off him, you fucking… _

_ They were closer now and I could see everything. Too well, binoculars were no longer needed. Embry had Edwards arm in a hold that could, potentially, dislocate his shoulder, break a bone, or crush his elbow. That hurt like fuck, I'd had it inflicted on me a few times. Edward's eyes closed in pain, his jaw tightened. No, no, don't you fucking do it, Embry… if I found a true reason to get out of this car, he was going to didn't let any sound escape, I ached for him. I could remember the agony of bones shifting, the sharp pain as more pressure was applied. _

"_Over so soon," the tall guy, Sam, spoke up. _

_ Using his other arm, Edward jabbed Embry in the stomach with his elbow. My hand was over my mouth, I knew what he was going to do. Bad, no; did he know how much damage he could inflict on himself? He threw his body to the side awkwardly so that Embry had no choice but to let go. Edward exhaled sharply and growled. His eyes were so fucking dark, gray and vicious. Embry grabbed his injured arm again in a fucking pansy-ass move. Edward took a step forward, gripped Embry's shoulder and head-butted him. He punched him in the stomach as Embry was recovering from the first hit. Holding his breath, Edward continued beating the hell out of him. His bad arm and hand seemed to be working again. It shouldn't have been possible, not nearly enough time had passed. I watched as he pummeled Embry's ribcage. As was expected, Embry doubled over. With his bad hand, Edward punched him solidly across the face. _

_ It was time to get out. Paul and Sam were again in fighting condition. With his arm still not at full working ability, Edward would need my help. But what if I opened the door, divided his attention, and got him hurt? Would he allow himself to be distracted? Probably? I had no fucking idea. _

_ Blood hadn't been spilled yet; did it really fucking matter? They were positioned in the worst way possible. Edward's back was to me, the two of them would have a clear view of me getting out of the car no matter which side I chose. If he looked over his shoulder for one fucking second… it'd be my fault. _

_ Fuck. Shit. Move, not move. Help, don't help?_

_ Edward acted and commandeered my attention completely. Paul and Sam rushed him, Edward ducked down and lashed out, connecting with the back of someone's knee. I couldn't tell which of them had fallen, things were moving too fucking fast. Whomever it was tried to get up, Edward let his knee drop and slammed him back onto the pavement. Fuck, had that been the end of Embry? How many bones had Edward broken? He saw Sam coming, but didn't get out of the way in time. _

_ That blow should have sent Edward to the ground. His entire upper body twisted to the side, I felt my body go numb. His pain tolerance was fucking incredible, I hurt for him when I realized how he must have learned to endure so much and keep fighting. If he turned just a little bit… I wanted to see him, his face, how much damage had been done. _

_ When I finally caught a glimpse, I ceased to exist. Thinking he needed my help was laughable. He was… smiling. A 'Fuck you, we're going all out, I'll kill you,' expression was on his face. All of that and he was still provoking more? I felt a chill run up my spine; never, never did I ever want him this enraged with me. He was going to kill someone._

_ Edward punched Sam twice in the stomach before he moved backwards. _

_ Something was going on. I grabbed the binoculars and studied the cars. Doors were opening, two men got out and cracked their knuckles. Paul was still down, but that still left Sam and Embry. Edward was slightly favoring his bad arm. It would give out eventually whether he accepted it or not. He couldn't see the two new additions; yup, time for me to move my ass. I got out of the car and slammed the door shut. _

_ I caught sight of someone with really long hair. A chick was in charge? I'd rip her fucking throat out! Whatever she said, the two guys headed my way instead of Edward's. That was fine by me. I quickly studied the way they walked. They knew one another well, fucking great. Were they always unleashed as a pair? _

_ Edward had noticed. They exchanged a look and moved about a foot apart. Two of them, there had to be a way to take them both out at the same time. Not with the distance they were currently in, but if I stayed out of range and moved them where I wanted… I shifted to the right and they mirrored me. They weren't heavily muscled like Sam, but they definitely out-weighed me. The one on the left sped up, I forced myself to let everything else fade away. My back was to the car, no one was creeping up behind me. _

_ I ducked as he threw a left-hook in my direction. He was forcing me backwards, trying to get me to turn. Wasn't going to happen. I hadn't seen him use his legs yet… the next time he aimed a punch, I gathered my strength, took three steps forward, and slammed my side into him. He stumbled backwards as my fist caught him in the jaw. _

_ Fuck, that hurt like a bitch. He whipped around, I saw it coming but didn't react in time. My face was a riot of pain, my vision blurred. _

"_Stay the fuck down or I break your bone!" _

_ Who the fuck was that? The voice was lower than Edward's should be, but I knew it was his. My body moved for me, I dodged a blow that would have knocked me out. The edge of his hand knocked my hat off. _

_ Fuck it all, I was still standing. _

"_Behind you!" I saw Paul reach for Edward- _

_ I rammed my shoulder into my assailant's stomach. He was a heavy hitter. His body went with every thrown punch. I didn't have time to play these fucking games! I grabbed his arms when he took my shoulders, fuck yes. I'm quicker than you, motherfucker. I slammed my head into his nose and kneed him in the stomach twice. The world spun, my jacket saved my skin from shredding as I slid across the pavement. He had used his strength and momentum to bring me down with him. _

_ I struggled as we wrestled for dominance and managed to kick him mercilessly at the top of his knee. The bone didn't slide out of place, but it sure as fuck would feel like it. I got to my feet quickly and faced his… brother? Partner? Whomever the fuck he was, I was up against him now. _

_ This wasn't going to be a forced slow fight. No time; I ran toward him and pit all of my strength behind the punch. My hand exploded with pain; I connected. _

"_Bitch-" he cupped his eye and squinted at me with the other one. _

_ The fact I was female seemed to intrigue him, not in a good way. He was quick as fuck, could have hit me back, but he seemed to be having a great time taunting me. He evaded all of my attacks, leering, goading me on. I was fucking pissed. This was insane. He was delaying me on purpose and I couldn't afford to be fucking hasty. _

_ My breath caught as I saw Edward. Quickly retreating, I adapted a defensive position. I needed to keep both of them in view. Paul held Edward's arms behind his back as Sam- I physically winced as I heard and saw the punch hit his stomach. His eyes closed, every muscle in his body tightened to brace against the two successive blows. He still didn't make any pained sounds though his breath came in harsh pants. _

_ I was going to get myself killed. All of that had taken less than four seconds, but that could have been the last thing I saw. _

"_You callin' our guy a chick?" I saw the tension in his body, apparently he no longer cared that I was __female. He knew I cared about Edward. Shit. Had I just killed him? Us? I had no idea what his question meant. It sounded as though he was asking if I had insulted them. I had to get him to attack me. He knew that I cared about Edward. That information was really, really dangerous._

"_Fuck yeah, I am. Five to one, fucking cowards." _

Punch me, come at me, stay the fuck away from him. Stay in the shadows with me, conceal my identity. The rest of them think I'm a guy. "_Spineless bitch. Yeah, I called you a bitch. Wanna do something about it?" I spat at his feet and smirked._

"_Fuck you!" _

_ Too easy, he wasn't thinking. I moved out of the way, grabbed his arm and pulled quickly forward and then back. He cried out in pain; I pulled him closer. I punched him in the jaw where I'd seen Edward bleeding. This was easy. His hair fell to his shoulders and I had it at the nape of his neck. Like Rosalie had taught me, I resocketed his shoulder. Never let it be said I'm not courteous. _

"_Fucking whore," he snarled, dropping to his knees. _

_ I took both of his arms and twisted them up high, reveling in his shout of pain. Nobody fucking called me a whore. I slammed my foot down on his ankle, he instantly went still. Yeah, you trash-talking motherfucker, not so tough now that I'll actually break something. I could, so fucking easily. He wasn't going anywhere; if he moved, I'd be faster. His bone would snap, end of story. _

_ Edward was on last reserves; his body was trembling, I could already see bruises forming. His jacket had been lost at some point, there was blood on his shirt. Everything seemed to freeze. Had they knocked him out? I- he- panic, hatred, dread, rage… curling, writhing in my stomach. _

_ His knuckles scraped over the pavement, he got to one knee. He was okay! Not okay, but he was alive! He wasn't unconscious! Fuck yes! Everything within me screamed to help him. He stood, winced, shook his head. I saw him turn, he stared at me for a split-second. I reacted instantly as his gaze flicked to the side. I let go of the guy I was holding hostage, my hip hit the side of the car. _

_ Moving left, I barely escaped a fist coming directly at my face. He swore violently as his fist hit metal; I pushed him at his partner. It had been stupid of him to come at me while not in any way capable of fighting. He tripped, tried to save himself, and ended up falling face first onto the ground. _

_ Edward fucking roared, my heart felt as though it were slamming against my ribcage. He fisted his hands and went from enraged to out of control. Pain. That was his trigger. Massive amounts of pain gave him an adrenaline rush, it worked the same for me. His knuckles were torn to hell, curling his fingers must have been painful. _

_ He punched Paul once, the second and third were no-holds-barred blows. Paul didn't stand a chance; four times, a fifth time and he was done. Edward's chest rose and fell with every harsh breath. He looked at my lip, shuddered and cracked his neck. _

"_Oh fuck," said the guy who called me a whore. _

"_You piece of shit," Edward's voice was lethal, merciless. He had put two and two together really fucking quickly. _

_ Wait a fucking minute. I knew who that was. Their leader wasn't female- Edward had things under control here. Shitty as it was, I knew how to end this once and for all. This entire time, Jake had been here the _entire time_. I took off across the parking lot hoping like fuck that no one had a gun. _

"_Jacob Black! Call this shit off right the fuck now!" _

_ I tore the ponytail out of my hair. The distance closed between us, but not nearly fast enough. He had sent the order to release two other guys? Edward might have broken ribs, was in this fucking much pain- and he had been here? I took all of my guilt, the pain I felt upon seeing Edward continue to get up and tear through people for me… my fist connected with Jake's cheek. _

"_Bring your guys back. End this, Jake. I swear to fucking Christ, I'll rip you the fuck apart if you don't."_

"_Stop!" Jake motioned to where Edward and someone were squaring off. _

"_Bella? Bella Swan?" He went to move my hair out of the way, but I backed up and glared at him with __every trace of loathing I could find. _

"_Yeah, you asshole. I can't believe you would let them attack me! What the fuck?" _

_ This wasn't entirely fair, I _had _been dressed as a guy. Doesn't matter, I could play that guilt card; he had sent five guys after two people. I kept my eyes narrowed and raised one eyebrow. He stared at me for a second, tipped his head in acknowledgment, and smirked._

_ He remembered our game, and was still willing to abide by the rules. Good. Jacob and I had never been especially close, but I considered him to be one of my three childhood friends. We played truth or dare a lot. The riskier it was… I'd scoff at him, Jake would give me the look he wore now, and there was no question about it. _

"_I- you- guys, back the fuck up!" _

_ Instant reaction, fantastic. I liked the way things had turned. There was now a fifty percent chance all of us would walk out of here alive. I couldn't help but feel Edward next to me. Aggression and hostility radiated from him in waves of breath-stealing tension. His eyes were locked on Jacob, following every movement, tracking him. That wouldn't be good. Much as I wanted to let him, Edward couldn't attack Jake. I put a hand on his chest and felt him hesitate. His body was so tense, I didn't apply any pressure. My fingers worked in circles silently asking him to let me handle this. _

"_Bella? What the fuck are you doing here?" _

_ Saving your life, I mentally snapped at Jacob. Not a good thing to say right now, after everything, I wouldn't be the one to provoke a fight between them. _"_Helping a friend," I said aloud. _

"_I'm- you… shouldn't-" he sighed heavily. "Its not safe for you here." _

_ I was so fucking tired of hearing that. It was times like these that I wished I'd gone along with more of Rose's weird plans. She had wanted to go around video-taping one of our normal days. I'd sit both Edward and Jake down, make them watch a copy. If I wanted to be protected, I'd stay behind. I wouldn't argue with Edward if I thought myself incapable of taking care of myself. Fucking men!_

"_It would _be _fucking safe if you weren't fucking with my friends. He sold stuff for you, you didn't pay him. Get the fuck over it so we can get out of here." _

"_Calm down a minute," Jake crossed his arms. "When did you get back in Forks? Why didn't you call?" _

_ Nice as it was to know he was still alive, now was really not the time to catch up. Besides, I was still pissed and sort-of wanting to punch him again. He looked disappointed in me. Strange how right this moment- I trailed my fingers across Edward's hipbone, along the waist of his pants. Distraction now would be good, he was more himself yet one wrong move and he'd snap. Edward had relinquished control, but for how long?_

"_Back in the cars," Jake watched as all of his guys piled back into their vehicles. _

_ It was really fucking satisfying to see the damage Edward had caused, what I had helped with. I felt old scar tissue and stayed away from new wounds I had seen on his back. He tensed sharply and I pressed closer to him, laid my palm flat at the base of his spine. _

"_Thank you, I've got it from here," Jacob sighed and closed his eyes as the car doors shut. _

"_You've got what from here?" _

_ He looked frustrated, but right now he wasn't a friend. This Jake I didn't know; what was he capable of? How far did friendship go? I'd remember everyone who had been here tonight. I was Charlie's daughter. Was he really going to let us walk away? _

"_Can you give us a minute?" _

_ Bad, bad, so very not good. Edward's head snapped up, I felt his muscles contract as though he were about to attack. Tipping my head to the side, he glanced at me, the motion catching his attention. That was all it took. I felt him inhale deeply, silently. _

"_No," he grit out. _

"_I'm with him," I interjected before Jake could protest. Hopefully he'd get the hint. By not saying 'He's with me,' I placed Edward top rank in this little alpha-thing we all struggled with. _

"_Alright, look," Jake said, the gang leader surfacing. "I'm sorry about what happened here. It was all a misunderstanding. You can report this to your father, but he won't do anything to us. We have a nice treaty with the police force here in Forks. We run things differently on the Res. The only people you'll condemn are you and… whoever he is." _

_ First, I truly believed his apology. He had always been something of a gentleman, even when we were kids. I was a tomboy, he was a guy; we got along well. Still, despite my willingness to jump off bridges to fulfill a dare, he never forgot I was female. Billy Black would always bring that to his attention. _'_Jacob, put that damned snake down. I raised you to treat girl's better'n that.' _

_ Second, I knew for a fact that my father would be interested in hearing about the prime source of drug-dealing in Forks. Considering my past job experience, I wasn't going to contest that point aloud. And third, there was no way in hell I was saying Edward's name. I knew Jake was fishing for it. _

"_I wasn't going to report anything." Getting the most important part out first seemed to be a good idea. "I really fucking hate being threatened." _

"_No, that's not… damn it-" the gang leader was gone. _

"_What, Jake?" Push my advantage now, make it up to him later. _

"_No one will bother you, Mike, or… him again." _

_ No, it was never this easy. He gave in, now I had to give in. This Dare was one neither of us wanted to pursue. Therefore, as the rules dictated, negotiation started. _

"_The catch?" _

"_You do remember," he smiled. It was real, not laced with authority, superiority, and time. He was ten, we were doing something incredibly stupid. We had called one another's bluff. _

"_Of course I remember. Why do you think I punched you?" _

"_Yeah, that brought some memories back, too. Good thing you did, I wouldn't have recognized you otherwise." _

**o . o . o**

In the middle of my third shower in one day, all of the events of tonight caught up with me. Edward had just left the bathroom and I was cleaning up after bathroom sex. I sank back against the wall as everything I hadn't allowed myself to feel broke through the barriers. This always happened after high-stress situations. I'd be fine in a moment, there was a lot to process.

Had it really happened? It still felt like a dream. I studied my knuckles in fascination; the last few months in Forks had healed all damage. Only small white scars had remained, barely noticeable. Most of them I was able to cover with rings, Edward's claw helped a lot. I was normally able to conceal the worst of my wounds with fishnet hand or arm warmers. Looks like I'd have to dig a few pairs out, Charlie wasn't Renee. He would notice and demand an explanation; I wasn't able to give him one. Saying I had fallen wouldn't work, he was a cop. Anyone would see through that lie.

If I were careful, he wouldn't find a reason to ask. Edward was going to have a much more difficult time. One glance at him would reveal that he'd been in a serious knock-down fight. I got up, towel-dried my hair, and raided Edward's medicine cabinet.

I was too emotionally restless for a long self-analysis. If I was going to flip out, I'd rather be alone and home, not in his bathroom. Under the sink I found a first-aid kit, extra bandages, gauze, and medical tape. Considering Edward had fucked me with bruised ribs, I doubted he would be treating any of his injuries himself.

Speaking of, what had happened during my second shower of the day… I was an idiot. The entire ride back to their house had been filled purely with music. Edward was so quiet, I didn't know what to think. Alice patted my shoulder in the backseat, but that did nothing to alleviate my dread. I half-expected us to pull into the driveway and have him send me on my way. Using his tactic, I had beaten him to possible rejection and invited myself in. Now, maybe forty minutes later… I thought things couldn't have become any more intense.

He had been slave to the passion, so aggressive and primal. It felt as though he had been tying to crawl inside of me. I had been consumed by him. Every breath I took, I inhaled him, the emotions pouring off him in waves. If I hadn't been tasting him on my tongue and lips, I felt him. Even injured, Edward had been fucking fantastic. I was ashamed by both my first and second reaction. It had been fucking terrible of me to enter his shower in the first place. With both of us naked, Edward dying for an outlet; what else did I expect to happen? He had gotten hurt because of me, while I sat on my ass and texted Alice. Then, I still flinched at the sight of Sam punching him repeatedly in the stomach. He got the hell beaten out of him _for _me. I owed him one fuck of an apology.

He had made a good point, regardless. A lot of my guilt had drained upon seeing how satisfied he was. So much calmer, he had even laughed. I couldn't continue to feel bad about enticing him into sex. It would have happened somehow anyway. He was absolutely right. What we had done moments ago wasn't base fucking, it hadn't felt… impersonal. I had felt him shaking with rage, yet he channeled all of that into sexual energy. He did things no one had done before. Whatever that was with his tongue, a mouthful of water; I felt my knees weaken as I remembered.

People had warned me that Edward was good at taking what he wanted. Like me, we both knew how to live in the moment. I was good at getting what I wanted, too. What no one had noticed was how much Edward was prepared to offer in return.

'_I don't regret a single fucking minute, you shouldn't either. If I wasn't capable of it, I wouldn't have attempted anything.' _

Much as I wanted to take those words and attach a deeper meaning, I couldn't do that yet. After the dance, when Edward had said I was _his_- we reached a new level. We had since left that far behind and ascended to… here, wherever the fuck here was.

The bedroom door closed. Had Edward gone somewhere? Was this unfair? Should I not? My intent wasn't to seduce him, I wanted to take care of him. He had done everything possible, including being pummeled, to keep me safe. Best to stay away from that thought, it might incur the Flip Out. My mind was made up, it was time to change.

Who could resist a cute costume? I looked into the mirror once I heard Edward return. My makeup, only dark concealer to make my face seem ruddier, more masculine, had washed away in the shower. Guys didn't wear eye-shadow or eyeliner- well, most guys. For that, I was thankful. I'd look like a raccoon now if I had done my eyes in the normal black. All natural was fine by me. I had nothing to hide.

My costume was seductive rather than racy… mostly. The skirt, collar, pockets, and hat were red, the bodice of the dress and bet were white, not transparent. I wasn't showing too much cleavage and the dress fell to mid-thigh, nothing scandalous. No harm in that, right?

I closed the bathroom door behind me and turned the fan on. The paint would last longer and mold wouldn't take over in his shower. I had noticed tile spray and other cleaning products under the sink. For all of the Cullens wealth, I had never seen a maid. I'd caught Esme dusting, she cooked food for them, us, and she enjoyed it. I liked how everyone pitched in to help, all of them were able to spend more time together that way.

"Bella, I-" he turned to face me and lost the rest of what he'd been about to say.

"I wanted tonight to be all about you. …whoops? So, I figured I'd start now."

"You- I, uh- …fuck," he laughed at his surprise. More assured now that he had taken a moment, Edward continued. "What did you have in mind?"

I held up the first-aid kit and walked over to the bed. So much for my attempts, Edward had a fucking feast on a platter behind him. I hadn't been able to see it from the bathroom door.

"Mind if we eat first? I'm really fucking hungry, aren't you?"

I stared at the platter of sandwiches, the plate of bananas that were cut into pieces. A very large glass of milk sat in the middle of the tray. My stomach growled, I laughed.

"Good call," I complimented him. "Did Esme notice any signs of the fight?"

"They're not home yet," he waited until I sat down to start eating. Things like that, so minute I barely noticed them. He had to be in pain by now, the adrenaline high seemed to have completely dissipated.

"You- all of this?"

"Its peanut butter and jelly," he snorted. "Nothing fancy, sorry."

"Fucking fantastic," I bit into one of the sandwiches. Grape jelly, yum.

Some of them were different, I thought I'd been seeing things. Edward had used different flavors of jelly, three kinds of peanut butter. Wow, I was seriously impressed. I learned that apricot jam was really fucking good, especially with hazelnut spread.

Seven sandwiches between us later, Edward lay back on the bed and sighed in contentment. Well, it would have been, but he winced slightly at the end. His eyes immediately flashed to my face and narrowed.

I gathered the plates, shrugged into one of his sweatshirts. "I'll be right back.

"Bella-"

"I know how to work the dishwasher, honest. If it makes you feel better, I won't start it. I'll just put the plates and silverware where they belong."

"I wasn't protesting your use of our dishwasher," he took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "You don't need to go around cleaning shit. I can take care of it."

"This is one of those things that you're going to let me win because its not a huge deal. Girlfriend always wins, deal with it."

"Yeah? That's how you think it goes, huh?"

"Not thinks, knows," I swiped the empty milk glass from his hand and danced in a small circle. "Point proven?"

"Go," he groaned. "Fine."

"Thanks," I balanced the tray with one arm and opened the door with my other.

"Hey, if you're going anyway, mind bringing back a beer?"

"Carlisle won't be pissed?"

"Its my beer," Edward grinned. "I stopped drinking, not that I was a drunk, for three years. Once I turned eighteen, Carlisle said that he wouldn't interfere anymore. He knows about the parties around Forks, y'know? When people OD, and it always fucking happens, Carlisle and Esme treat them. Alice and I prefer to drink at home, they agreed with that option."

"That's really, really understanding of them."

I wondered what Charlie would do if I grabbed a beer and sat down to watch the game with him. He had specifically mentioned being happy that I didn't drink, so far as he knew. Yet the thought was worth consideration. I could see him being ecstatic that I'd finally taken an interest in sports.

"Thanks," he said as I left the room.

I tried to be quiet as possible, Jasper had arrived. He and Alice were making-out near the front door. She noticed me first and whispered something in his ear.

"Anything you want darlin'," he drawled.

'Sorry,' she mouthed as he picked her up. I moved back against the wall, Jasper didn't see me as he carried Alice to her bedroom.

I shrugged and smiled, no big deal. If anyone should be sorry, it'd be me.

"The way you- and how ya- slow'n sweet all night-" I tried not to listen, but it really wasn't possible not to. Most of the sentence was muffled due to Jasper's mouth finding new places on Alice's neck. His accent was rougher, I noticed and reminded myself to tease her about that later. Jasper threw her over his shoulder, they disappeared. I heard her shriek and laughed as music blasted. Go, Alice. Details that I really didn't need to know about Alice's sex life aside, their freezer was incredibly well-stocked. They had four ice packs in different sizes. Whatever they were for, I was thankful for them. Loading the dishes, grabbing two bottles of beer, I walked quickly back to Edward's bedroom. I didn't want to risk disturbing Alice and Jasper again.

Edward had anticipated my return and was lying on his back, pillows propped up behind him. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment. It would never cease to amaze me. He looked so fucking perfect, all of the goddamn time.

"Hope you don't mind that I snagged one?"

"C'mere," Edward suggested, "and I'll show you how very much I don't care."

"For now, as in our verbal agreement, I get to nurse you back to health in a different way."

"I'll bite if you come closer," he grinned wickedly.

"Helping in a non-sexual way," I admonished. All the same, I walked over to the bed and climbed over him. He had left space for me, as always, closest to the wall.

"Leashing the beast, huh?"

"Never," I said, probably a little more forcefully than necessary.

"Thank you," he smiled- the young, devastatingly handsome smile that I had only seen once before. My heart stuttered, the Words rose to the tip of my tongue.

"Want me to wrap these in a towel? I don't want the ice sticking to your skin, y'know?"

Fucking coward, I berated myself. Ah well, the moment was over for now. _Love_ was threatening to break through; I couldn't say the words and have them be untrue later. I wouldn't do that to him. Three times in the last few hours, I needed to stop procrastinating. Later, when I was at home, I'd think about my emotions. I had been putting it off by spending time with Edward and pushing all of my reticence to the side.

"Sure, whatever. Bella, this isn't the first time I've had injuries like this. In fact, they're the most common. I swear to you, if I were in real pain, if it bothered me, I'd tell you, okay?"

"Yeah, I know," I used the thinnest of the towels to form a compress of sorts. "You came tearing to my rescue, trailing two guys... I'm sorry you were hurt because of me. I can't be sorry for helping because it was my call. You bled. All the same, you had things under control. It was really, really impressive, to set the record straight."

"No, it was good you got out." I could see the effort it was taking him not to become angry again. "Things could have ended a lot differently if you hadn't spoken with Jacob."

"That can't happen again," I stared at him directly, pleading with him not to make this difficult. "I can't sit somewhere, safe, while you go and do the guy thing. It's not that I forgot how it feels, but in Phoenix, I watched a lot of people be hurt because my fighting skills weren't up to par. Now they are. I contributed a lot, I know how to defend myself and deal a lot of damage."

"I know you do-"

"Watching the three of them attack you, I can't do that again. With me at your back… can't you see the benefit? Besides, us fighting together would have saved a lot of time and pain, on your part. Don't get me wrong, you fight really fucking well."

"Thanks, you too, but-" he shook his head…

"I can't help it, though," I interrupted. "If we're going to do this, we need to be on equal ground. I trust you to take care of yourself, to watch my back. You need to trust the same from me."

"Bella," he held a hand over my mouth. "We can talk about it next time."

I nipped him gently and, sighing, he moved. "No, because next time you'll find some other excuse as to why I shouldn't be fighting with you."

"How did this happen?" He traced my lip, raised my hand so that he could inspect my knuckles.

"My disguise worked," I shrugged. "He didn't know I was a girl until my hat came off. I'd punched him twice in the face, another time in the stomach. By then, you took over and I went to confront Jake."

"So that motherfucker _did_ hit you."

"That's what happens in a fight…"

"Son of a bitch."

The tension in his body was back. In only a few seconds Edward's energy level rivaled that of when we were in the shower. His eyes were icy gray again though his grip on my hand wasn't painful. He hadn't heard anything that had been spoken. I wasn't inclined to fill him in on the details. He'd go after them… nope, Edward need never know of the personal vendetta I held against one of Jacob's gang.

"I'm pretty sure you broke his nose, a few ribs, possibly his jaw. Not to mention, I _was_ dressed as a guy. He had a job to do, I was interfering. If you were on their side, wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

"Not to a fucking female," he snarled.

"Even you were impressed by my outfit, you wouldn't have been able to tell."

"I'll still kill him," Edward searched my face. "All you have to do is say the fucking word. He's good as dead."

"No thank you," I ran my fingers lightly around the bruised sections of his torso. I closed my eyes, which didn't help with eradicating the mental image at all. Edward's arms twisted behind his back, determination and resignation on his face. His muscles tightened, I heard three sickening punches. The purplish color wasn't dark, but there was definitely some damage. We should have used ice when he first got home, the shower couldn't have helped with healing, either.

"I'm fine," he said gently.

_Don't feel bad, don't feel guilty. Edward's able to make his own decisions._ If he had come out of the bathroom and made a move, would I have stopped him? Most likely not.

"About my earlier question? What do you think?"

"I'd really like to agree, really," he ran a hand through his hair. I reached over him to the nightstand and grabbed his pack of cigarettes, the ashtray, and a lighter. Before I lit them, I turned on his air filter and opened the window next to me.

If I were Edward, I'd be terrified of sleeping so close to such a large window. His bed was pressed up against the wall, so all he had to do was sleep up in a curled up position, roll over, and fall through the screen. With all of the pillows, it might not be an issue, but all the same. Why take that risk? The fall probably wouldn't kill him. He'd be lucky to escape without a few broken bones. Mentally snapping myself back to the topic at hand, I knew I was distracting myself purposefully.

I had slept next to the window before, never had that fear been a concern.

"I can't… I'd really fucking try to focus on the fight, not you. I'm not sure that would be possible, y'know? Anytime I couldn't see you, I'd envision them plunging a knife through some vital organ. It would endanger me, you; why can't you just stay somewhere safe? You don't need to watch, even."

"That'd be worse not better," I argued gently. "That's what I meant by trust."

"What about… next time, if there is a next time- I hope like fuck there won't be, I'll really try to let you stand with me."

"Umm-"

"That's all I can offer, Bella. Its not what you want to hear, I'm pretty fucking sure, but it's the best I have."

"Fine," I acquiesced. We had to reach a stalemate. He wasn't happy with this, nor was I. There weren't any other variations, though. He had given a few inches, I had given a few; we were closer now, but still dissatisfied.

"I knew it'd be difficult for you. It wasn't a miracle I was asking for, this is enough for now. I mean, you're right. We shouldn't be in another position like tonight. This argument is probably all for nothing, but I'm happy with the results, for the most part."

"Yeah, me too, I guess."

I studied his chest, the black marks that couldn't be contained by both ice-packs. He had assured me that none of them were broken, but that didn't mean they hurt any less. Ribs took a long time to heal, I hoped the ice worked. He'd be in pain tomorrow.

"How do you know Jacob Black?" Edward asked carefully.

"I left Forks when I was twelve. Being the police chief's daughter, I wasn't able to make many friends. Charlie, now and then, and still does go fishing with Billy Black. They worked on a case or something together. Anyway, I became friends with Jake. The first time we met, he held one of my stuffed animals hostage. I punched him in the jaw."

Edward laughed, "No shit. He liked you, it's a classic move."

"I know," I smiled wryly. "Some instinct tonight, not saying that you were hostage or anything…"

He laughed again and I flushed. What the hell was wrong with me? I lost all coherency being around him, especially with him shirtless and so close to me. I wasn't high or inebriated, this shouldn't be an issue.

"We were never really close, but I enjoyed spending time with him. Watching Disney movies and eating popcorn was more fun with another person."

"Have you ever had any real friends?" His question caught me off guard, as did the expression on his face, deep in his eyes. Worry? Sadness? I didn't know what it was, but I felt uncomfortable.

"Of course," I kissed him briefly. "Buddy, Rosalie, my mom. Now Jasper, Alice, and… you."

"No matter what happens-" he made me look at him. "No matter what happens between us. If this ends, works out, whatever. You can always come to me if you have a problem."

"What if we end up hating one another?" There it was, one of my darkest fears. Deep down, I was terrified that I'd somehow lose him. Not as a boyfriend, but as a friend. He was the first person I'd ever clicked with so intensely. I felt safe around him, I got him to laugh. All of that would go away if our relationship aspect didn't work.

What Spike had said about Buffy and Angel, I felt, applied to Edward and I. We'd never go back to being _just friends_. That's what made this so terrifying sometimes. Would I lose Alice? Jasper? We would hurt them, inadvertently. What if-

"No matter what," Edward promised. "We could pull down on each other in close proximity, I don't give a shit. If it were truly important, none of it would matter. Our bullshit aside, I'd help you. You could hate me for it, hate yourself for asking… but promise me that you'll ask anyway."

"The- the same applies to you," I forced my numbed mind to work.

"Naturally," I heard the slightest twinge of good-natured sarcasm in his tone.

"I promise."

"Me too."

I kissed him slow and rough at the same time. This wasn't making-out, there was more to it than lust or need. It was another step. I cared, he cared; no matter how bad things became, death aside, we'd always have some sort of tie. It would last through hatred, pain, everything. We might be less than scrupulous, on the whole. A promise like this, however, as Edward had said… it would last through all else. I wanted to say the three words so strongly, but they stuck in the back of my throat. I pulled away gently, he tried to catch me before I moved, but ended up swearing low in his throat.

"That hurt," he licked his lip, speaking to me.

"You're sure that nothings broken? How can you tell?"

"I'm sure," he held my gaze for a few moments. "Trust me, I know the difference."

"And is that how you learned to hold back all signs of pain?"

"What?"

"When you fought, no matter what they did- you never let them see how much it hurt you. Like when Embry had your arm? He could have shattered your bone, it'd feel like he was whether or not it happened. Yet nothing from you."

"How do you know what it feels like?"

I didn't need to answer.

"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?"

I half-smiled, recognizing the movie from his quote.

"If you can get up, you get up. When you can't get up, make yourself try one last time," he rubbed across the tattoo on his chest. "I learned really young that the more pain you show, the worse things get. Hide it; the past, the future- nothing matters except for the next few minutes. Will you walk away? Will they? Is it worth fighting for?"

"Wouldn't death be easier? Why continue? When everything hurts and most of your body is too numb to feel the actual pain… when its all over, and you're still there? It was one of the most tragic feelings ever. Having, and fucking hating, hope." I had taken over for him, confident that what I'd say would mirror how he felt. I couldn't relate to the abuse issues in his past, but the rest of it?

"Bella," he was forcing himself not to look away. "I think… I fucking… agree."

I was an idiot. My mind had injected certain other words during his pauses. "You… agree?"

"Goddamnit," he muttered. "Yeah."

"Um…"

"You said hope _was_ one of the most tragic feelings ever. Do you not feel that way anymore?"

"What do you mean? As in, am I hopeful or have I lost it all?"

"Yes."

"Like I said," I grinned at his simplicity. "Have it and hate it. You?"

"Surprisingly," he paused to think about it. "… same. For awhile now, actually."

"Good, you ponder all of the suckage and wonder that's contained in that statement while I patch you up."

"Suckage? Seriously?" He laughed and winced, "That hurt, too."

Of course he'd turn it into a game. The pain truly didn't bother him. He had no choice in feeling it, but… it really hurt me to admit having examined the scars on his skin. He could compartmentalize it all away. This was not the first time he'd been injured, Edward had admitted that a few seconds ago.

How often it happened- how young he'd been when it started… the more pain he felt, the harder he fought; why him? I realized then how absolutely beneficial Alice had been to him. He had done the same for her, albeit in a different way. They kept one another alive. This was common, Edward had said. What constituted uncommon? If this was low on his pain threshold, what would he consider a lot?

I carefully applied first-aid ointment to his knuckles. They really were torn to hell. Bruised, cut, especially the hand he'd slid over gravel… he closed his fist to make it easier for me. Not even a fucking wince, though there was so much scar tissue that he might _not_ feel it. I ached inside for him; why had that been necessary?

"This is why I hate band-aids," he snorted.

"Gauze and tape," I corrected him. "Alice warned me. I don't understand; why do you not like them? Not manly enough for you?"

"I walked around with fucking cartoon cats, neon pink and purple, and fucking Disney Princess band-aids. I pulled that shit off," he smiled crookedly. "Not manly, my ass."

He watched as I wrapped the gauze firmly around his knuckles, secured it with tape. I'd have to take a better look first thing tomorrow morning. Carlisle was a surgeon, we could come up with some excuse if Edward had broken bones in his hand. I tried feeling around, but nothing seemed to be out of place.

"You and that fucking outfit," he groaned.

Sure, me poking and prodding his fresh wounds; I commended myself on my decision to change.

"I might not be great for the next few days," he warned. "It'll give us a chance to try out some new, more interesting things, though…"

"Once you heal," I finished for him.

"Bella," he raised an eyebrow as I bit through more tape. "Come up here."

"Up here how?"

"It'd be much better if I could show you…"

"Not a chance," I laughed. "Not done yet."

"So let's speed things up," he grinned.

I was working on his shoulder now; so many of his injuries were bruises. Not much I could do about those, they'd heal on their own. The minor scratches on his upper body I had attended to. Anything I deemed too deep, or angry looking, or prone to infection, I covered as best I could.

"All you have to do is position yourself, knees on my pillows. I can take it from there."

"I- no! You need to rest, relax, not overtax yourself."

"What if I promised not to use anything save for my mouth?" I watched him worry one of his lip piercings, the stud on his tongue scraped over it mimicking…

Fuck. Yes, please? "Three days," I glanced up at him. "We don't do anything for three days."

"You're kidding."

"Nope…"

"Bella-"

"I'll come check on you tomorrow night. Charlie will probably be home Tuesday, I should be spending more time with him. If he doesn't work Wednesday, I can come back over. And I'll pick you up before school starts until you're better."

"Why?"

"So you can sleep in. You'll get an extra half hour of sleep if we take my truck. You'll heal faster."

"Fine," he sighed after a long pause. "I'll change your mind by tomorrow, bet you a dollar."

"No bets," I grinned. "I'm not challenging you, y'know? Besides, you should be waiting at least a week. Three days is minimum."

"Fuck that," he scoffed. "I'm _fine_, stop worrying so much."

"Lay there, I should go and change. When I come back, if you'll sit up? I'll bring some icy-hot back with me."

"Great…" he sounded so enthusiastic. "Before you go, I have to ask; do you have any intention of going to hang out with Jacob Black?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, unsure. "He'd make a good ally for us to have."

"Ally," he repeated scornfully.

"Yes, allies," I studied him from head to foot. Did I really need to point out the obvious? "Seriously? You wouldn't want to come with me?"

"Fuck yes, I would," he swore. "That's not the point."

"I can get him to meet me somewhere here, close by. The Res probably isn't exactly on our side, as of right now. We make Jake a new friend and we'll always have backup when we need it."

"We go armed, just in case."

"You assumed I wasn't tonight?"

"Okay- and," he grinned wickedly, changed gears. "What was the lotion for?"

"I was going to give you a massage."

He groaned in anticipatory pleasure, "Really?"

"Yeah, but I'm rain checking that because… massage, bruised ribs, bruises in general? It'll hurt."

"So make it hurt good."

"Fucking reprobate." I left him to think about it while I slipped back into my old clothes. The costume I could leave here. He had appreciated it, but I hadn't really _used_ it. Not for lack of trying on his part. I felt myself flush and distracted myself by looking through his medicine cabinet again. Icy-hot; I know it was here somewhere.

Using only his mouth… the image of me kneeling over him? I fought back a shudder. Fucking ingenious, as always. It was a good idea to have changed, Edward was probably formulating plans to break my resistance, even now.

Three days wouldn't be too difficult. A week was maybe pushing him a little. Blow-jobs weren't going to satisfy him for long. After the shower, the dance, I couldn't think of a time when I wouldn't be wanting him inside of me again. Especially after our conversation; I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist and lay claim to him as he had done to me. I wanted to watch his eyes roll back, his body spasm in pleasure. I'd show him, physically, what I wasn't managing to say.

Only a week. Surely we could make it seven days?

**Authors Note:**  
And here it is, finally done. There are parts I'm not entirely comfortable with, I'll probably be updating this chapter like I did the last one. Oh, yeah- if you care, and havent gone to check, I added a lot to Chapter 23. More insight to Edward's past, some extra scenes thrown in to fill gaps.

**Authors End Note:  
Mephis1-**  
Thank you for all of the compliments, first of all. =D! I love hating Mike, too. He's fun to mess with if only because he's so… inept that even Edward couldn't really take a swing at him. Too easy, like kicking a puppy. Why I wrote this story? It was four in the morning, I think. A music video station was playing and Ke$ha's 'Tik Tok' came on. I noticed that she was wearing a handcuff bracelet type thing. It was just one of those strange nights, y'know? I watched Twilight after and- the 'vampires' always irritated me a little. Love Edward, Alice, Jasper… but c'mon, guys! You're vampires! That sparked 'Phantasms' my other story awhile back, and I couldn't do another vegetarian-vampire story so I tried to think in terms of AH. I remembered things, people, and the story started just… writing itself. =)

**VAVikingGirl-  
**Hehe, thank you!

**Cheshirekat516-  
**Glad you liked Jacob's intro! I _hate_ writers block, especially when its sparked by one sentence or something idiotic like that. So infuriating… gah!

**DodgerMcClure, xNOMx, Chavy c, , Ghlover8907, Heavyinfinity-  
**Welcome to all of the new people! Thanks for checking this story out and leaving reviews! All of you are incredibly supportive, amusing, and I appreciate anything and everything ya'll have to say. =D

**Tasha-  
**Hey! Thanks for all of the reviews! I'm really happy the first chapter drew you in. I keep trying to think of a way to edit it because I hate all of my starting chapters. They seem… choppy to me, for some reason.  
**o  
**I like Rosalie's character. She's a bitch with good reason and I tried to keep that in this story. There's not a lot known about her right now, but hopefully I'll be able to use all of the ideas I've had for her!  
**o  
**Mmm… Edward shirtless always makes me happy haha.  
**o**  
Again, thank you so much! It was fantastic reading all of your reviews, what you liked, the enthusiasm. ^_^ Hope this chapter is just as entertaining!

**LondonGoth-  
**Not sure what Jacob's role is yet, I know he's somewhat of a 'good' guy. Though, as Bella wonders, how far does that run? Thank you for the fighting scene approval. I have no martial arts training, and its nice to know that it makes sense to a professional. =D

**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Haha, definitely, and thank you!

**MizzezPattinson-  
**=D, I think you're pretty fucking awesome, too!

**Just me-  
**I was 22, turned 23 on the 2nd, haha, but thanks very much! This review made me really happy, definitely want to make sure my gratitude is conveyed. I have a real fiction story in the works, its at 64k words and still lacking filler chapters in the middle as well as an ending. 'Sigh. I'll finish that eventually. This story is happily cathartic, working through crap and learning from past mistakes. Gotta love life, haha, always fucking interesting?

**Spiltwine-  
**Wow, high praise! I like certain slash fiction, too. Havent read anything current, but I'd follow authors in old fandoms. Jasper and Edward stories make me happy. Do you enjoy reading threesome stories, too? They're not usually as well-written, but I'm hoping for good things once this story's done and I can explore again!

**Karen4honor-  
**=D, no problem! I'm happy you love the characters so much!  
**o**  
The age difference between Edward and Alice, keeping all of that straight… I'm still confused by what's happened. Trying not to focus on it, though any huge mistakes or inaccuracies I have to fix. I don't want to box them in with 'this happened when he was thirteen, and what Alice went through this when she was…? because then the whole backstory is done with and there's no room for flashbacks or development. Argh! =P

**Kitasky123-  
**Lol, thanks!

**Mercedesfrk1121-  
**I was really disappointed by the lack of lemon in this chapter. Bella was all set to go with her costume, the lotion… and then I realized how much damage that could do in real life. A massage, nice as it would have been, not the best idea for Edward with bruised ribs, etc. 'sigh.

**Ccaajjaa-  
**Thank you! =D, I love writing shower scenes. Sex in an actual shower, not so comfortable. So it always provokes- how much does he want her? Can they make it to a bed? What's gonna happen? Haha, so much fun!

**My4kids-  
**Thanks very much! I can't have Jake be a close childhood friend. Bella, I see as a socially awkward kid without many friends. Her parents are arguing all the time due to their divorce, Charlie goes out fishing. Renee is wherever the hell she is, Bella and Jake bond a little. Young Jake maybe falls for her? Bella doesn't reciprocate, and ends up moving before anything romantic happens? No idea, haha, but I don't want him to be a huge player in this story. Not again, lol.

**Anadabyel-  
**Thank you for all of the reviews you left! I don't think its wrong at all, I'd love to have both of them, too. =P.

**Fliberty-  
**So many things I'm trying to compare in this story. I'm kinda losin' it a little, haha, but I don't want to take a step back from this story yet. Still too much fun. Alice and Edward's close relationship contrasts with Jasper's half-sister, Tanya. They're blood-related, but they don't get along. Bella has no siblings. Her mother and father divorced, Renee remarried to a craptastic guy. Jasper's mother and father got back together. All of Alice's good families have died, Edward never had any positive role-models to begin with. Rosalie's mother is insane, Esme and Carlisle, Charlie, too, are the good ones. Sorry, I'm blabbering. Didn't mean to use your as an idea-springboard, haha.

**AmeliaCullen1-  
**Not too shocking, right? This chapter, with Jake and Edward's reaction. Could have been worse, I guess. Hope you enjoy!

**Maria2906-  
**Hehe, thanks for all of your crazy-awesome reviews! I'm really happy you 'connected' with Edward and Bella right away. Feisty, hehe, I love that word.

**Cat5050-  
**Thanks to you, too, for all of the amazing comments! I'd gladly puff and pass to you. ^_^I didn't mean to make you cry, but that's a huge compliment and I thank you for it! Hopefully you're not too pissed that Jasper didn't make it to the fight. He did, however, give some nice Southern hinting… his deep accent versus seeing him in action? Poor substitute, but there's always the future to look forward too, heh.


	25. Costume For A Gutterball

**Chapter 25  
- Costume For A Gutterball**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2: **  
**Edward-  
**http:/www(dot)twilightimages(dot)org/albums/Photoshoots/Robert%20Pattinson/Chris%20Pizzelo/011(dot)jpg  
**Authors Note 3:**  
**Bella's Gloves-**  
http:/www(dot)mydivascloset(dot)com/skstfiglfor7(dot)html  
I hate gloves, but these are damn comfortable. Highly recommended.  
**Alice-  
**Difficult to find Alice pictures because the way my Alice dresses is a lot different than what Ashley Greene wears as Alice/in real life. Same goes for Bella, all of the rock-punk pictures of her are with short, short hair. 'sigh.  
http:/ashleygreene(dot)net/gallery/albums/Movies/2008%20Twilight/Stills/normal_004(dot)jpg

**Authors Note 4: **  
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's out there! Hope ya'll had a fantastic day!  
**Quick last note-**  
The italicized portions _will _be explained eventually, if they aren't in this chapter. You'll find out why I've written them in, promise. And, it just goes to show what Edward's lived with this whole time, to hear things like that and not be phased by them? Just a thought before this chapter starts…

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Releasing The Demons**- Godsmack  
**DopeRide**- Saliva  
**Costume For A Gutterball**- Finger Eleven  
**Made of Steel**- Our Lady Peace  
**Conversations**- Finger Eleven

**Edward's Point of View**

"Edward? Edward, wake up."

I jolted back to consciousness and was aware of three things. Someone was in my room and it wasn't Alice. I was in so much pain, it was laughable in a way, and third? I wasn't dreaming anymore.

"I'm fine," I said automatically, shielding myself from the light.

Carlisle. It was Carlisle. No threat, I'm in Forks; no need to freak out about a nightmare. I rubbed a hand over my face and caught my breath before I let any pained noises escape. Fuck, I hurt _all the fuck over_. Its not as though I'd forgotten about the fight. Just, fuck. I could have done without the physical reminder. The pain was sharp and all-encompassing, but I was still fine. This wasn't that bad, all things considered. I wasn't bleeding or broken; shit would heal.

"Did you just get in?"

He shook his head. "I was working outside and heard you thrashing around. Sorry for waking you."

"It's cool," I yawned. "Want any help?"

"No, thank you all the same," he smiled. "Go back to sleep."

"I'm good for awhile. I fell asleep too early last night. I'll join you for some coffee, if you want the company?"

"Sure," he agreed. "I'll be outside."

"Great," I got up and headed to the bathroom. "Be there in a second."

Now that the dream had faded, I didn't want to go searching through the recesses of my mind for what it had been about. If Carlisle needed to leave soon, it was probably five in the morning. Ah well, I was running on six hours of sleep as it was, more than enough. I reached into my drawer and nearly bit through my cheek to prevent from groaning loudly. Fuck, I'd need to be careful of automatic movements. A hit or two from a joint would help keep things bearable.

There, much better. I smiled and made my way into the bathroom.

Coffee would be good; I looked like hell and a half. Maybe I shouldn't have so readily agreed to chat with Carlisle. He'd find out eventually, it wasn't as though I could hide this forever. I flinched slightly as I turned the overhead bathroom light on.

'_Think your mama's pretty, kid? Look at her now, real fuckin' pretty, eh?'_

Well, shit. My face was fine except for remnants of a bruise near my eye, courtesy of Jasper, and a dark bruise that went across my chin. Fuck Sam, fuck Paul, too. Fuck any guy who had been in the parking lot. My lip was split, I brushed my teeth and was thankful that none of them had punched hard enough to dislodge anything. I'd wait until tomorrow to shave, the side of my jaw was scraped from rubbing against pavement. I had two hickeys from Bella and a few bruises from the choke-holds of last night. My voice, however, wasn't in any way affected.

'_Screaming, unable to emit sound. My throat had been rubbed raw by the rope…'_

Might as well change for school, I wasn't going to find sleep until tonight. The shower warmed up as I mentally braced myself before stepping underneath the spray. Closing my eyes, I distanced myself for a while. The most unpleasant part was over; the heat felt really good now that the sting was gone. Washing my hair was a bitch, my ribs sent flashes of pain through my body every time I raised my arms. Knowing that Carlisle was waiting for me, I didn't take more than ten minutes.

I pulled on a black t-shirt and wore a flannel shirt over it so that my arms would be covered. With fingerless leather gloves, my knuckles were hidden. A pair of loose jeans and black boots finished the outfit. I still looked like crap, but most of the wounds were concealed including the ones on my throat and jaw. Whatever, it would have to do.

"_Don't you make no sound, boy. I ain't raising no fuckin' girl." _

Ah, so that's what my dream had been about. The voice rang through my mind and I quickly shut it off. Fuck all of it, that had been in the past. Why had Bella noticed that, of all the things she could have picked up on? I hadn't lied to her. My earliest memories had to do with Masen making me kneel on the ground, accepting punishment to increase my endurance for pain. I still had the marks somewhere underneath all of the ink.

"Rough night? What were you guys up to yesterday?"

I glanced over at his cup, it was still nearly full. Okay, I poured myself some coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

"We were just hanging out. Alice had another date with Jasper, Bella and I listened to music in my room. How was work?"

"Better now that they've hired some competent people," Carlisle sighed, leaned back in his chair. "Everything been okay with you?"

"Uh… yeah, for the most part. Any particular reason you're asking?"

"Bella Swan has been around a lot lately," he hinted, smiling into his cup.

"Yep," I waited two seconds, laughed quietly. "We're dating."

"Esme's going to be upset, she didn't get any pictures of you two before the dance."

"Bella doesn't really like cameras," I got up for a refill. "I think Chief Swan took some, I'll see if she can get copies."

"So you _do_ know she's Charlie's daughter."

"Of course," I studied him carefully. "She's my… girlfriend."

I wasn't sure how to explain this. The safe-sex talk had already taken place. It hadn't taken them long to realize that I was sexually active, and very careful. I still didn't know their true feelings about the subject, but they had never protested. A lot of my nightly visitors, they weren't aware of.

"How long have you been… dating?"

"From about a week after she got here."

Carlisle exhaled sharply, "How intimate have you become?"

"She's on the pill and we've taken extra precautions. I've considered all of the ramifications to our exploring a sexual relationship. I was tested recently, clean bill of health. You've seen her medical records, right?"

I knew this was a valid concern for him, but I really didn't want to talk about what Bella and I were doing, sexually. What he and Esme did was private, I never asked or wanted to know. It was a long-shot, but I hoped for the same courtesy.

"I can't stress enough, Edward. She's the _police chief's_ daughter. I'm not protesting your relationship, but… be so very, very careful."

"I told the Chief I wanted to speak with him. He said I should give him some space. That when he was ready to find me, he would."

"Did he," Carlisle smiled into his cup again.

"Yes?" I raised my eyebrow at him. This wasn't over yet, I had a feeling.

"You asked Bella's father for permission to date her?"

"Uh, no. I said, 'I'd like to speak with you about-' and he held up a hand, basically asked me for some time to think things over. So, I obliged."

"That could be interesting. What do you plan on telling him?"

"The truth."

"That you're not a flaming homosexual who wears eye-makeup and lipstick?"

"I-." Well, shit. "Wait, I wasn't wearing _lipstick_."

I snorted, Carlisle laughed. What the fuck was that about? Maybe when I kissed Bella? No, I hadn't made out with her yet, Charlie had answered the door. The two of them must have spoken recently, though I really didn't know why he thought I was wearing fucking lipstick.

"Anyway, that was Bella's idea based on the Chief's misconception."

"What misconception would that be?"

"He, uh, thought I was gay. From the day in the hospital, he saw my piercings and… apparently, _real_ men wouldn't have them."

"Ah. So you decided to substitute with bashing yourself open?"

"Jasper," I grinned as explanation for the wounds Carlisle was studying from across the table. "He and I were messing around for Alice and Bella, a contest of sorts. It got a little out of hand… but I won?"

"You're not fighting again, are you?" He had every reason to be concerned, and since the fight with Jacob's people had happened already, it wasn't exactly a lie.

"No," I replied.

"Stop by the hospital later on. I'll x-ray and check to see if there's any serious damage."

"I'm fine, trust me. It's just a few bruises, my face is the worst of it. Alice stopped us, she reamed me out for wrecking my skin before yearbook pictures."

Carlisle smiled, "Rational Alice."

"Yeah, see? No big deal. Want another cup before you've got to go?"

"Um… no. I should get an early start. Talk to Esme, she wants to have Bella over for dinner, officially."

I groaned, "That's really not necessary."

"Change her mind," he put folders into his briefcase. "If not today, tomorrow; see you at the hospital."

"Carlisle-" he was avoiding me on purpose, I knew it.

"Bye, Edward. Make sure Alice is up in time for school," the door closed.

'_The door slammed, locking me inside. I choked on the lingering scent of beer and cigar smoke. Should have been more quiet, I hoped he wouldn't forget about me like last time…'_

Damnit. Ah, well; I checked my watch. Perfect. There was just enough time to get properly high. Talk about a remedy, in a minute I'd be dancing. Fuck yes, I didn't need to roll another one. I'd have to thank Bella later. If she came over, I'd love to see her reaction to the new shit from Newton. It was really, really good.

When was the last time we had smoked? Two days ago? Three? I had a lot of catching up to do. Bits and pieces of my dream kept filtering through my head. Even I wasn't stupid enough to attend school inebriated… except for the days when I no intention of going to class. The meadow and I had good drinking memories. I wanted today to be one of those days. It would have been, but I honestly didn't feel like making the trip. Besides, I couldn't ask Bella to miss an entire day of school.

The trek to the meadow and back- I took another two hits. Too much fucking effort. I didn't need alcohol, I needed… to hide Bella's nurse costume before Esme saw it. Halloween was too far away for that to be a valid excuse. Jesus fuck, though. I let my head fall back against the bed. Lighting a cigarette, I groaned and exhaled.

Nice; I felt good, light. And I couldn't call Bella a tease because, she had been sexy as fuck, but not in a seductively dirty way. I didn't think it was possible. Any chick in a costume- I'd have them before the damn door shut. Bella? I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me. She said we needed to wait three days. Somehow, while massaging Icy-hot into my arm and lower back, she had negotiated me to a week. Yeah, okay.

I saw the way her eyes followed my tongue-ring whenever I was bored and playing with my lip piercings. Fuck enamel wear and tear, it was fun. She liked them, a lot, and it was incredibly hot to me that she did. I fucking loved using them on her. My cock was hard and it made laugh. It happened so fucking frequently, I'd stopped trying to hide it.

All she had to do was twitch her hips a certain way… how she reacted to songs she loved. When she was pissed and arguing with me, challenging something I said- I needed her, no matter who was around, what we were doing. Then there were the things she did that made me _want_ her. When I said something that she didn't agree with, but was too polite to _dis_agree with- that expression, it got me every fucking time. Or when she tried to convince me to do something I really didn't want to… her mischievous smile… fuck.

What a pansy fucker, I mentally punched myself. I had been fucking seconds away from saying _those_ Three Words. Everything she said- Bella was mine, but I didn't know how to say it. The urge was there, but I hadn't _said them_. Why the fuck not?

I needed her to know she was safe. Some of the things she said made me want to go into her past and eradicate everyone, with the exception of Rosalie and her dog. Where had her fucking mother been when she was out fighting on the streets? Why hadn't Charlie taken her out of there before she had to learn really hard life lessons? Well, he had. Sort-of. Whatever the fuck. It should have been sooner. She should have gone to school with fancy fucking fences, teachers who spoke Latin; not ones that taught her to fight and deal drugs.

Alice knocked twice before entering, she seemed surprised to see me awake.

"How do I look?"

I stared at her through the smoke and smiled, "Fucking great."

"Not too gray? Its sunny out today, I don't want to look like… blah."

"Never," I rolled my eyes.

She was wearing slate gray jeans, a matching jacket. Her white shirt was lacy, vintage-looking. Her heels were at least four inches high, though she would still only reach Jasper's shoulder.

"Okay, cool," she slipped on a pair of feminine aviator glasses. "I'm catching a ride with Jas, you're okay?"

My phone buzzed, Bella had messaged: _'I'm not coming in there. Contact high would be bad. Ready and waiting, stud.'_

Then, two seconds later: _'I take that back. Doesn't do it for me. I'll stick with 'babe' or something else today.' _Confusing as fuck, I'd have to save that one to read later when I wasn't so out of it.

"Yeah," I grinned.

"Mmm…" Alice glanced at the nurses outfit hanging in my bathroom. "Good to see she took care of you."

"Bye," I helped her to the door and hid the costume in my lowest drawer. Underneath all of my embarrassing Cause shirts, no one would find it there. Grabbing my book bag, my world exploded. What. The. Fuck.

'_I'll show you what happens when ya cry. You ain't no son of mine.' _

Note to self- don't swing my bag like that again. That hurt like a motherfucker. …might as well have another hit. That flashback had straightened me out. I grabbed a bottle of Visine and put my sunglasses on. Couldn't get much better than that. I had to backtrack twice; the first time I forgot my coffee. Second trip back, I had forgotten to bring cigarettes.

"Morning," Bella yawned as I finally made it the fuck outside.

"Coffee?"

"Mmm…" she drank, closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, oh yeah, she definitely looked better. More awake, she smiled and handed it back to me.

"Did Charlie say anything about…"

"Nope," she held up her arm. Along with my hoodie and a leather jacket, Bella had black and white skull gloves, without the fingers. She was wearing jeans, which eliminated a few of my plans for today. I could work around that.

"Cool."

"Want me to use some concealer on you, too? We're close in skin-tone, my blend is perfect. Bruises disappear."

Not wanting to think about why she had to create said blend, "No thanks. Maybe before I get back here, Esme hasn't seen me yet. Carlisle wants to do x-rays," I sighed.

"No problem. It takes two seconds." She started the truck. I heard the engine stutter, she petted the steering wheel… something popped.

'_You fuckin bitch about fuckin clothes, now you say its too hot? Fuck summer, boy, I'll be right back. Shut the fuck up.' _

"Bella?"

"She does this all the time, don't worry."

"Yeah… c'mon," I opened the door and got out.

"Where?"

"My car," I walked around to her side, opened her door, and pocketed her keys.

"That defeats the whole purpose," she raised an eyebrow. "You go at least fifty over the speed limit and everyone gets thrown around…"

"You drive," I handed her the keys to my Volvo.

My stomach knotted; not even Alice had driven my car. Breathe, breathe, I trusted Bella. If I freaked out about giving her control of the Volvo… that wasn't a good sign. She seemed to be rooted in place, her eyes darted from my keys to me.

"Uh-"

"Go below the speed limit, if you must. It'll be a smoother ride, right?"

She didn't argue after that point, I could see the excitement she was trying to conceal. I went over the basics, she didn't seem to be having any problems thus far. Aside from feeling my car's horror at being driven so slowly, I was slowly able to relax. The Volvo compared to her truck? Fuck, I'd be excited, too. I wondered how pissed she'd be if I got someone to relocate it and blow it to pieces. I'd have a back-up vehicle for her to use, of course.

"Edward?"

"Yeah," I glanced over at her.

"You okay?" She wasn't talking about the car.

"Always," I lit cigarettes for us. "I smoked before you picked me up."

"That explains a lot," she rolled her eyes. "Okay, zone out. My Ipod has good music, too."

I hadn't noticed that, her Ipod was plugged in instead of mine. Did I mind? Not really. She really did have good playlists. I had downloaded a good number of new albums thanks to her.

"I wouldn't mess with a good high. No worries, y'know?"

"Thank you _so_ _very _fucking much." I relaxed with one arm over my eyes and drifted. If she crashed the car, I'd get a new one. Whatever the fuck, I felt too good for it to matter right now. Around her, flashbacks to my dream happened less frequently. They were easier to ignore. I floated, mango permeating my car, my cigarette bringing me higher. Bella was driving… it was fucking fantastic.

Bits and pieces of the dream continued to bombard me until around lunchtime. I couldn't stand to be inside so I sent Bella a quick text to let her know I wouldn't be in the cafeteria. I'd felt claustrophobic all day; time dredged on endlessly and I was at the end of my rope. Hearing Masen's voice in my head wasn't uncommon. Not being able to control it? I was edgy as fuck, and constant pain didn't help matters any.

Bella lit up immediately after stepping foot outside of the building. I wasn't in my usual place, I felt it was too close to school. She sauntered over, I watched her in my rear-view mirror. The car door opened, closed. We finished our cigarettes amidst short conversation. She felt it, I was sure, and there was nothing I could do to contain it. Bella took one look at me and immediately launched us into a make-out session.

She didn't ask, didn't even hesitate. I was motherfucking crazy about this girl. She helped calm me down while starting another type of frenzy. Somehow, she ended sitting on my lap, resting her back against the steering wheel. I had moved the seat back, but not down. She was careful to keep from pressing down on my chest, a fucking ingenious position. I didn't mean for things to get so out of control. She tasted so fucking good, better today than any other day. I couldn't help nipping a trail up her neck. Burying my face in her hair, I inhaled sharply. She had gone light on the perfume today, I fucking loved it.

"Edward…" she circled her hips and whimpered in frustration.

"Sorry, babe." I ran my hand firmly up and down her back. She moaned and ground herself perfectly against my cock. _Fuck_, that felt good. What had sparked that reaction? She twitched, I stopped moving. Something with her back- where had I…? The middlemost part of her back underneath her shoulder blades. I made a mental note for later. It was a good spot for her.

I knew it was time to wind things down. This was unfair to her, and me. My body was screaming for release, Bella's heavy breathing matched my pulse. At least it felt that way; each breath skittered down my spine, settled in my cock and demanded we have her.

"So this is how you chose to, uh, change my mind?"

"Hmm?"

"We're waiting until you're healed," she emphasized the last word. "Not fair of you to play dirty."

I really hadn't been thinking of anything, not manipulative anyway. We were smoking, she did something I thought was inordinately hot, and then she was moving closer… here we were. Did she need to know that? Would it be cruel of me to- all's fair in love and war, right?

"Why?" I nudged her legs apart so she straddled me harder. "Its so much more fun this way."

All I could think of was naked Bella. How good it would feel be inside of her, watching her cry out in pleasure. I moved my hand down to her thigh. She tensed as I raked my nails across the vertical seam on her jeans. I felt her shift, rubbing against the front of my pants as she tried to get more pressure from my hand.

"We should get to class," I kissed her quickly, close-mouthed. She stared at me, shocked. I wanted to laugh at her frustrated anger… until I saw her eyes flash in challenge.

"Okay," she snaked her arm down between us. I jolted, my eyes closed. Her fingers wrapped around me, she squeezed, my hips bucked toward her. I grabbed her hand and moved it.

"Ready now," she climbed carefully off my lap and exited the car, I numbly followed.

Meeting me on my side, she adjusted my bag so that it rested comfortably on my shoulder. She had originally wanted to meet me outside of every fucking class, carting my stuff from place to place so I wouldn't have to. Fuck that shit.

Taking far more time than necessary, she buttoned my shirt. Torturous, sadistic, Bella tease. Thank fuck for flannel, it was long and loose enough to hide my… problem. Walking, however? I was aroused to a nearly painful stage. It was my own damn fault, Bella gave as good as she got…

Images of her kneeling, in a 69 with me- what the fuck was wrong with me? I couldn't use the punching bag until my knuckles healed. Bella was doing her best to enforce the no-sex mandate, which I really didn't think was going to last beyond tomorrow night.

What outlet was left?

**o . o . o**

Once school was over, Alice, Jasper, and Bella were waiting for me by the Volvo. Bella had said she would be busy, Alice was inviting Jas over. I needed to catch up on homework, anyway. If he wanted to smoke, that was fine, though I was secretly hoping Bella would find an excuse to stop by.

A cop car pulled into the parking lot, lights blaring. I saw Bella tense, but she kept chatting animatedly with Alice. Jasper had no idea there was reason to worry, he smoked a cigarette and listened in on their conversation. The car was coming straight toward us. No time to run, I didn't know what they wanted. Wait, I could see the driver. Chief Swan? What the fuck?

"Edward?" He rolled down the window, "A word with you, please?"

"Sure…" I really hoped this grand staging was due to shock factor rather than a legitimate reason for his making the trip.

"Dad?"

"Just need two minutes, Bells," he opened the passenger seat door from the inside. "Hop on in, Edward."

I nodded and climbed in. Bella met my eyes, worried, I did my best to smile at her. I wouldn't include her in anything that happened last night. Alice and Bella had been disguised; the parking lot didn't have any security cameras that ran during the night.

Fucking awful memories bombarded me, but I focused on Charlie. They didn't matter, let it stay in the past. I was in the front seat, things would have gone awry had he handcuffed me in the back.

"You've been spending a lot of time with my daughter, as of late."

"Yes, I have, er, Chief Swan." I couldn't call him sir, but using his title wouldn't make things worse.

I saw his lips twitch, but his glare never once faltered. At least I could take comfort in the knowledge that he wouldn't outright shoot me in front of all these people.

"Might as well get comfortable. We could be here awhile," he undid his seatbelt. "Now, your… er, homosexuality aside, I'm curious about the details concerning your relationship with my daughter."

"She's close with Alice, you knew that. The three of us spend time together, Jasper Hale being another of Alice's friends, he joins us now, too."

"I'm not asking about your sister or the Hales," he raised an eyebrow. "What of _you_?"

"… I'm her friend first, among other things."

"I knew she had feelings for you the moment I walked into that hospital. When you spoke to her about seeing your father… Bells hates doctors. Surgeon, your father's a surgeon, eh? Your mother helps, too?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"Any chance of you taking over the family trade?"

"Its possible." That wasn't a lie, either. I wouldn't have called it 'the family trade,' but it was something I'd been considering. Working in a hospital all day; I'd have to get used to it, of course, and it didn't hurt that they made a _lot_ of money. I had taken a few medical courses over the summer, just in case I chose to pursue that career-line. Better safe than sorry, I had the cash to fulfill any of my educational whims.

"Hmm," he mused for a moment. "Anyway, my point is, Bella didn't fight you on the matter. She came back from the city skittish and jumpier'n hell. Two weeks of it, and then she met you. Has she said anything about Phoenix?"

"Not really; a little about the hobbies she pursued as a child. Nothing major, though."

"Well, that's for her to tell you- not that there's anything _to_ tell," he finished gruffly. "Being around you and Alice has been good for her, she's more of a… girl now, as it should be. I remember my senior year. She should be having fun, clean fun, mind you."

"Of course." The shower was the first thing that came to mind. Twisted fucker that I was, the image was fleeting, but still ingrained into my memory. That was technically being clean, it sure as fuck was fun.

"The reason you wanted to speak with me?"

"Uh…" I saw his fingers twitch. There weren't any guns on the seat between us, but that didn't mean he wasn't carrying. Being a cop, he probably was. Charlie had leverage, witnesses could be bought. There wasn't really anything stopping him. Did I care? Was Bella Swan worth the recovery therapy if he shot me? …fuck me, yes she was. "I've since become more than just her friend."

"What in the hell does that mean?"

I returned his glare, "I was hoping you'd agree to continue letting me see your daughter."

"And who gave you permission in the first place?"

"You," I replied calmly. "The first day you let her drive to school with me, alone."

Charlie snorted. This was the wrong approach. I almost regretted letting that side show, but he had seemed to relax a little bit. I had no idea as to what was going on. This would be so much easier if he'd take a punch at me. We could fight; he had official-training, I had street-moves, the winner decided.

"I figured as much," he nodded. "Listen to me, and listen well."

I struggled to keep from gritting my teeth. That fucking tone. All he needed to do was add 'boy' at the end and my fucking nightmare was complete.

"I want grand-kids and I want them to be of my blood, preferably sometime within the next ten years. Do you understand what that means?"

All of my anger dissipated. Had Charlie just asked me to… have sex with Bella? Frequently, for the next ten years or until a child was born?

"You want us to engage in a sexual relationship?"

"What in- no! No, goddamnit!" He was flustered, I was beyond confused. His face was red, Bella had warned me that was one of his really bad signs. "I want it done the damn proper way!"

"I, uh, I apologize, but I don't think either Bella, or myself, are ready for marriage at this point. I'd like to attend college and get a degree. That, or establish myself in a company of some kind, with substantial pay, before I make any marital commitments ."

"Well," he cleared his throat. "Those are admirable goals.".

"Can't take care of someone else if you can't first take care of yourself."

"You would know about that," Charlie removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair. "I hope you understand why I had a background check done on you?"

"I expected you would," I answered honestly. He was a cop, I didn't blame him for using his contacts. "What you found isn't something I like talking about very much. I can't promise answers, but you have a right to ask about what you've found."

He was good, I gave him credit and respect for that. Ten minutes alone in the car with him and he'd broken through my first few levels of defense. Not with threats or manipulation, there was understanding in his eyes. I knew his honor code to be similar to mine; he also had a twisted sense of humor, which I could appreciate. Pulling up to school, sirens blaring, testing my level of commitment; he was very, very good.

"I wouldn't do that," he stared into the distance for a moment.

I let the silence percolate. For the first time in my life, in the presence of an officer- especially in the fucking cop _car_- I felt at ease.

"You're a good kid," he said at last. "Don't make me think otherwise."

"Kind of late, don't you think?" He had given his consent. Why had I rocked the boat? Oh, because I can't ever just let things fucking be. Right.

"It's never too late. You struck out in a rigged game. You make your own choices from here. If they're not going to be good choices, don't bring Bella with you. I'm taking a risk on you, Cullen. Make me arrest my own daughter or worse…" his eyes were cold, hard, "don't let that happen."

"I'd give you my real answer, but you can't be a cop for this."

"Alright," he crossed his arms. "Don't piss me off, I'm warning you."

"I would die for her, I'd kill for her, too. I'll do what needs to be done in a situation that warrants those options, but I'd never purposefully endanger her. Wanting to date Bella aside, I feel that way about her as a friend. I'll think the same even if you decide I'm not the right guy for her. Most of all, I know that if she were to hear of this conversation, she'll kill us both. I asked because it matters to me, it really does fucking mean something."

"Edward-"

"I know, it doesn't say a lot about my character. That I think its an improvement when, really, talking to a girl's parents is a time-honored thing… I know. Doesn't change anything."

"Okay, but-"

_ But? _That never led to good things. Think, Edward. Two seconds…

"I respect her. She's an amazing person. I can tell you the psychologist she looks up to most, the bands she listens to when she's upset, happy or just thinking. Her best friends are Rosalie and Alice, she had a dog named Buddy that died when she was younger." Was that enough? Would throwing in another random Bella-fact be overkill? "Don't say _but_, I'm not going to take advantage of her in _any_ way."

I watched him carefully, but he kept the same expression on his face the entire time. There were other things I could bring up if he needed further proof.

"Jesus," Charlie whistled.

Bella had gotten ponderous face from Charlie. There was no point in saying anything else, he had probably made up his mind by now. Bella would have; if I wasn't wrong, he was trying to find a proper response.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You know how to fish?"

"Not well," I glanced over at him. "I assume you saw the cherry-bomb police report?"

"That's how you decided to-? What the hell were you tryin' to do?"

"Eat," I half-grinned at him, hoping he'd understand the dark sarcasm. Trying to attain pity wasn't a method of mine.

"Get the hell outta here," he laughed.

"Thank you," I added, sensing this conversation was nearly over. "I'm probably the last person you'd want Bella to be with. Frankly, I'm surprised you accepted everything you must have found in the background check. You don't know me, have no reason to trust me- but, I don't make promises I can't keep. I can't promise you anything except that she'll be safe with me, in every way."

"Date her if she'll have you. Do whatever you want, with the exception of one major thing. She'll go to the altar pure, understand?"

"Of course," I shook his hand. Bella was pure, all of her, regardless of physical proof. That wasn't a difficult thing to promise. No one would take that away from her.

"And, whomever you like, guys or girls- when you're with Bells, its only her you're with. That's not a question."

"It never was," I replied, looking him dead in the fucking eye so he'd know I wasn't making any jokes this time.

"Edward," he was very serious all of a sudden. "You haven't taken my daughters virginity, have you?"

"Absolutely not."

"Learn to fish, quit it with all the pink, mind your language, and buy her some goddamn flowers," he hid his relief by putting his hat back on.

I shut the door and laughed. That had been fucking intense. Like Bella, Charlie went straight for the core of a problem and held back none of his punches. Verbal though they were, I felt we were able to reach an understanding after our sparring. His kill threshold was higher than mine. If Charlie ever had to arrest Bella, I'd shoot myself. I really fucking respected him for how protective he was of Bella, and for his open-mindedness.

"Well?" Oh yeah. Bella was super-pissed. I might even bump that up a notch to livid. Her face was flushed, her eyes were practically burning a hole through my skull. I wanted to kiss the hell out of her, but Charlie hadn't left yet. The sort of making out I had planned would definitely make him take aim.

I was really glad his questions hadn't been phrased differently. If he had asked, 'did you sleep with her,' instead of, 'have you taken my daughter's virginity,' … consequences could have been fatal.

"Your dad wants me to go fishing with him."

"Son-of-a-bitch," she growled.

I smirked. Two seconds…

"Wait, what? He wants what?"

"Grandchildren within the next ten years and for us to start working on it right away."

"What the fuck?"

"I'm stretching the truth a little," I tried to hide my amusement; she was pissed already, I didn't want Bella to think I was laughing at her.

"Clarify, Edward. Please," she glared.

"He doesn't want me to take your virginity. I told him it would be at least four years, maybe more, until I would really be ready to get married. I'm not honestly thinking of marriage at all, but judgment said it would be bad to tell him that. I did ask his permission to date you."

"And?"

"…and? He's fine with it."

"Dating me? Marriage? Kids? All of that was discussed just now?" Her lip curled into a snarl as she glanced over at the cop car.

"I told him that neither of us are willing to contemplate such life-changing commitments. He agreed that now wasn't an ideal time. Don't worry, I have no intention of dropping to one knee anytime soon. "

"Well… good," she sputtered.

This wasn't over yet. One more burst of anger should do it. She still looked ready to take someone the fuck apart. Seeing it from her point of view, I had to wrap my arm around her. Pain. Pain, fuck. She moved immediately and took my hand instead. This wasn't regular hand-holding, no, she did it in a way that our arms were linked.

"I hate it when you do that," she sighed quietly.

Do what? What had I done that- oh. The hiding pain thing. It's not something I was able to control. I knew she wasn't casting blame or holding it against me. She hadn't known what Charlie's purpose was in having me speak with him. Bella wasn't a patient person. All of her worry had been channeled into anger.

Charlie waved before leaving. Everyone who was left in the parking lot stared in our direction, unbridled curiosity on their faces. Mike Newton looked as though he was going to pass out. He could sit on that terror for awhile, I had no intention of easing his mind.

She sighed. "I can't _believe _you talked to Charlie about… all of that."

"I'm willing to get a vasectomy to ensure kids won't be an issue right now. I would take responsibility _if_ something happened and _if_ you decided to keep… it. That doesn't mean I want them, you know, children. Do you?"

"No!" Bella said immediately. "No, absolutely not!"

"I didn't lie to him, if you're pissed about that. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm bi, I didn't compromise your story in any way. There was no need to."

"He's cool that we hang out? I mean, that's not going to stop, right?"

"Fuck no," I moderated my tone. "They haven't had a problem with us thus far, Charlie knew that we've been dating for awhile or he wouldn't have taken so long to find me.

"Okay…"

"Where did Alice and Jasper go?"

"They figured I'd want to head home and talk to Charlie. Jas said I could borrow his truck, if you don't mind giving them a ride home? He'll drop mine off later, we'll swap."

"Or you could drive the Volvo," I heard the words before there was any chance to process them. What the fuck? Overnight? Not in the garage or under its protective car-hood? No trees were dripping sap at this point in the year... Why was this an issue? It was a fucking car. My car.

"He really wouldn't mind," she insisted.

"There's a gun under the front seat." Again, jesus fuck. My nerves were shot to hell, I lit a cigarette. Bella didn't know how to react, she looked confused, worried, and then resigned.

"Any reason why?"

"None that I know of," I shook my head. "Alice is safe, I'm really fucking sure of it."

"Yeah, I was worried for a minute, too. I reached the same conclusion."

"I have one, as well. Its not in the car, I don't carry it around with me. Just in case, keep that in mind."

"You ever stop and think about how fucked up our conversations would sound to normal people?"

"That bothers you?"

"It used to," Bella grinned. "Now, I'm just amused."

"Good," I handed her the keys. "Call me sometime later, alright?"

"To talk or so I can message you pictures of how the Volvo's parked, where she is, and proof that she misses you?"

"That won't be necessary," it really wasn't that hard to let her take them. Alright, it was a little strange. I wasn't the lending type; why exactly this idea seemed so important, I had no fucking clue.

"Maybe one."

She laughed, "I'll call you."

"Good luck with Charlie."

"Thanks," she leaned back against my car. "By the way, when you're in Parental-mode? Really fucking hot, Edward."

"Parental-mode?"

"When you talk to Carlisle and about Charlie, your speech is so much different. Its more… refined, proper. I like it."

"Thanks?" I had no fucking clue what she was talking about, but if it turned her on? She could spare two minutes. Unlike her truck, my car could withstand speeds over fifty miles an hour. I dropped my book bag, marveling at how all pain faded when she was around. There was an entire fucking day until I'd get her alone again. How long had it been? At least twenty-four hours by now, sort-of, maybe? I felt so much better, no need to keep track anymore. Bella smiled resignedly and smiled as I leaned in.

Mmm… fuck yes.

**Authors Note:**  
Probably going to add stuff to this chapter, too. It feels short, not sure if enough was accomplished. Two dad talks, especially the one with Charlie? Edward should get some rest now while whomever decides to speak up takes over. ^_^  
Quick note to thank anyone who Twitter'd this story, posted it on their blog, rec'd it somewhere else… thank you all so very much! All of your reviews are fantastic, can't believe I broke the 300 mark!

**Sarix Angel-**  
Old fandoms die hard, haha. I loved the Buffy series, even if Buffy herself annoyed the hell out of me. More of a Faith girl, =P. I love the Pirates Trilogy, too, which is why there are references to Jack Sparrow, etc. Hopefully they're not too annoying. I agree with your statement about hope. Thanks for that! =D!

**Ccaajjaa-**  
Wow, thanks! O.O! You weren't reading too much into it, I thought I threw in a line from Edward saying that he wanted to say them- or maybe from Bella wanting to hear 'I love you,' and then being pissed at herself _for_ wanting it. I'll have to go check that out now, haha. Thanks very much, though, your review was amazing and happy-making!

**Astha Cullen-**  
Haha, fun to write, too. And, soon as possible!

**DodgerMcClure-**  
Yeah, Mary-Sue characters, I think they're called. Not a huge fan of the 'damsel in distress' repetition out there. Glad you like Bella!

**Lifesbiss, ac1,AngelofRosesCullen-**  
Meee tooooo, to all of your statements, =P.

**ImwithPatz**-  
I'm happy on two accounts then; that you enjoy the story, and that you don't know where its going to turn out. Predictability is boring, right? Thank you!

**Amelia Bedelia-**  
Fun name! Really happy to hear you're liking the story! Thanks!  
**o  
**Wow. Your third review was crazy-awesome! Ok, let me try to address things one at a time. 'Deep breath, haha. Oh, and I have to check with you first- if I were to adapt some of your ideas into the story, would you be offended? If you want to take them and start your own story, by all means. They're your ideas, =).

Okay, I've read your plot idea. Thank you very much, by the way. Hmm… I do think that Bella and Alice should talk. It'll come up eventually because they _are_ friends, and what use are girl friends if you can't talk to them about everything? I mean that in a nice way, not an assaholic way. I'm hoping Jasper and Edward grow closer as friends and can speak that way with one another; Edward needs a good guy friend.  
**o  
**There's so much to focus on what with Edward's abuse and mental conditioning, Bella's experiences… they've just gotten to a point where they're comfortable with being in a relationship. Not to mention the little Alice storyline that popped up, working on developing Jasper's character. Wondering when Rose and Emm are going to appear…  
**o  
**I love your ideas, and I really think you should incorporate them into a story of your own. They do sound really fucking fun.  
**o  
**For right now, at least, I've no idea where 'Handcuff' is going, but I'm positive no one will be pregnant in this story. It would detract too much from them, separately, at least where they are plot-wise. If I have a pregnancy scare, the entire story would shift so that's the main concern, y'know? Everything would fade to the 'Oh shit' moment and anything after that, I feel, would be somewhat anti-climactic, if that makes sense? I really do thank you for the input, the suggestions; your review was amazing, made me laugh, and I definitely thank you for it. ^_^  
**o  
**If you decide to do a story, let me know. I'll come check it out once this one is done! Thanks again!

**My4kids-**  
Definitely agree with you. I sort-of boxed myself in with the whole Bella and Jacob being friends thing. Somehow I have to write them as friends who are close enough to care, yet not best-friends. Not sure how that's going to go yet... complicated and fun. Eff, haha.

**AmeliaCullen1-  
**No worries, that's definitely going to happen. =) Thanks for the review!


	26. Memories

**Chapter 26  
- Memories**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:**  
This chapter touches rather close to home. I, too, was adopted when I was very young. It makes me wonder if my parents had similar thoughts. That's why I can be Asian, raised by Caucasian parents in NJ, and have family in the South. =) Not weird, at least to me. When I spend a lot of time there and the accent emerges… yeah, then it's a little strange, haha.  
**Authors Note 3:**  
Sorry for the Llllooonng wait. I was editing, and then I found a beta-reader. She's awesome and her name's Lisa. ^_^. Thanks, Lisa! She's helped fix a lot of comma and apostrophe problems, among other things. Final result, here ya'll go!

**Story Notes:**  
: The quote, Edward uses part of it when speaking of vengeance:  
"Vengeance is the energy that blinds one from freewill and causes them to become hell-bent on reprisal. Revenge is the ego's twisted logic in settling the score which has its ultimate roots in feeling better about oneself at the expense of another."  
- I can't find the author, unless you count the person's screen name. Watercarrier, at 11:24am on October 27th, credit given where its deserved.  
: The events in Forks really do exist. There are fishing events each Sunday, a Twinkle Light Parade among other things. Yeah, I know, crazy. Also, I know nothing about the true crime rate in Forks. I doubt La Push is the center of all drug activity and if, by some fucktastic reason it is… I don't know anything about it. It's just a story, no need to come after me.  
: I figured four hundred dollars a month because cigarettes alone, at a pack a day, equals about fifty dollars a week. Two hundred per month… I know, I know. Weed at forty dollars a week, comes close to the total amount spent. Smoking is bad for you, people. BUT I also believe that all smokers know that, and any who don't? Can't even talk about them, then. Haha. The US banned my clove cigarettes, so I'm back to Newports and super-pissed about it. I'll stop my rant on smoking here 'fore it gets completely out of control.

**Playlist  
(**I have no idea what music Carlisle would listen to. Classical, most likely. Maybe Jazz? To save you all from that, I dredged up a few songs that are… interesting. I don't think he'd necessarily like this, but Slipknot and Lady Gaga aren't going to work this chapter. So… fun music time?)  
grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
****Cold Flame**- Cirque Du Soleil  
**Falling Away With You**- Muse  
**Dark Chest of Wonders**- Nightwish (absolutely, this had to be in here. =D)  
**Mirko**- Cirque Du Soleil  
**Blue Eyes**- Within Temptation  
**Damaged People**- Depeche Mode  
**Wish I Had An Angel**- Nightwish  
**Allegria**- Cirque Du Soleil  
**Memories**- Within Temptation

**Carlisle's Point of View**

Pulling into the driveway, the smell of dinner cooking always made me smile. That was one of the reasons Esme had wanted such large windows. She had a knack for turning houses into homes. It was one of her passions, though the beginning few years of our marriage she had dedicated to medical training. Rather than making me choose, Esme became my partner in every sense of the word. I had been twenty-three when I first met her, she was twenty-two. We met in New York City's public library, a week of covert studying went by. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her on a date, she accepted.

That was one of the few dates we had managed to keep. Esme never demanded the time I had desperately wanted to give her; trying to start a relationship was hell. We were both attending school, working to further our careers… any sense of 'us' was almost over before it began.

I had lost contact with her for two months. My father passed away. The holidays were approaching and hours were hell. A mountain of schoolwork, paperwork- I had taken two days for the funeral and wake. After driving four hours to get back into the city, running on two hours of sleep and a triple espresso, I was beyond exhausted.

As like now, I collapsed into my chair and loosened my tie. Unlike then, I wasn't the least bit tired. Esme wasn't in the kitchen, I'd go looking for her in a minute. She had helped me turn everything around that night, I'd always love her for that, among other things. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift back.

_ Something had been strange. My computer was on? What the hell? A folder rested on top of the monitor. I recognized its contents immediately. Homework, so to speak. Three papers were overdue, another ten hours that I didn't have. Why had I chosen to pursue this career? _

_ My father had insisted I try something else. His marriage dissolved once I turned twenty. He didn't hide that my birth was unexpected. All the same, I never lacked love or attention as a child. Dad had kept the same hours I now struggled with. He warned me that if I continued, I would be alone for most of my life. _

'_Its you and your patients, Carlisle. One day you'll want children, a wife, family. When there's a kid with white bone protruding from his chest; what's going to be more important? A quiet dinner at home or the person bleeding to death before your eyes? Its damn rewarding, son, but think long and hard about what you're willing to sacrifice for others.' _

_ I committed his words to memory. That piece of advice had gotten me through a good number of rough patches. I needed to find a balance between the two lives I was trying to live. Both parents supported my decision to do things on my own. If I were to become a surgeon, I'd do it based on my work ethic and determination. I had spent years watching my father receive commendations for saving people. He was very good, incredibly knowledgeable; I needed to have that continue. I carried the Cullen name, regardless of my need to prove myself, and I would do past generations proud. _

_ What I hadn't acknowledged as a child was the toll it took on him as both a husband and a father. He had missed out on a good bit of my childhood. I had understood then, and knew how difficult it would be to maintain stability. How many people had he spent hours with, helping them mourn the loss of a loved one? _

_ Christmas, which should be a happy time, was wrought with emergencies our hospital wasn't equipped to handle. New Year's celebration had a slew of names and faces for people that wouldn't live to see it. Whether resulting from drunk driving, over drinking, suicide; death didn't obey the rules, all was not merry and bright. _

_ The screensaver faded away. I blinked against the bright light and was forced to wonder if I'd hit the hallucinatory stage. Six tabs were open, each one contained different ideas for topics. Who-?_

'_Your bookshelf.' _

_ I had noticed the Word document hidden in the cascaded windows. Swiveling around, I saw a stack of books piled vertically on my bookshelves. Post-It's were stuck in various places. Credible source material for the information on the computer- all of this had taken hours to orchestrate. _

_ Another note was on top of the books. _

**'Carlisle- I wasn't sure if you'd have the time to finish your assignments. My deepest condolences, I heard about your father. Call if you want to talk, I carry odd hours, as you know. Look on top of the file cabinet nearest to your window. Set the alarm. If you're here, you haven't slept yet. Women's intuition again, I know you don't believe in it. Merry Christmas all the same. - Esme.' **

_ I knew then that I loved her. She had done all of this when, honestly, I hadn't blamed her rejection. I was awful to her. How many times had she pushed me into a cab when my pager went off? She never gave me the option of staying, just as I made her leave when she received calls from potential clients. Esme carried her portfolio everywhere. She worked for an interior decorating company and self-promoted, freelancing, on the side. It was a lucrative, time-consuming job. We would always laugh about it and promise to meet up again soon. My drive to the hospital was longer than some of our dates had been. _

_ The last time I had spoken to her was two months ago to the day. She was going to get back to me about lunch, and never did. Three days passed, a full week went by. I vowed to call her, but got side-tracked by an influx of burn victims. Punks who thought it'd be fun to try fire-breathing. Why anyone would try something so foolish and potentially fatal… I would never understand it. Suffering deep burns, the conscious ones high-fived and compared scars. _

_ I glanced over to the file cabinets after reading her note through again. An espresso machine sat next to my alarm. It was set and ready to go… Esme. It was three in the morning. What sane person would be awake? Feeling the Christmas spirit, I was loathe to let it go. I called her. She picked up after the third ring, I was a mass of nerves. _

"_Hello?" Damn, she had been sleeping. _

"_Happy holidays," I paused, hoping she would know who I was. _

"_You got my present, I assume?" I heard her smile. Of course she knew my number, assuming she hadn't deleted it from her phone. We weren't in the age of landline phones anymore; who didn't have a cell-phone? _

"_Yes," I cleared my throat. "Thank you. Honestly, I can't-" _

"_It was nothing," she laughed. "You mentioned never being able to resist freshly brewed espresso. I've got one, it's the best invention ever. Set your alarms, both of them. You'll wake up, and then _really _wake up. I-"_

_ Drifting, I settled into my chair and relaxed for the first time in nearly a week. I was a relatively quiet person, Esme was not. Conversing with her was incredibly easy, she was vivacious, elegant, intelligent, beautiful. She had such enthusiasm for everything and embraced new experiences whereas I tended to stay with the Tried-and-True. _

"_You're amazing." _

"_Thank you," she paused. "I know not today or tomorrow, but the next time you have some free time…" _

"_No, you let me know when. I'll make it work. Your schedule's more difficult to plan around. Is it still? How is your company doing? Your business?" _

_ We talked for about ten more minutes. She gave me a day, I showed up. We spent three wonderful hours walking around New York. One date turned into four. I met her parents, she met my mother. We were in our early thirties and doing well. Deciding to take the next step, we got married. The world seemed to hold an endless array of options. I was established medically and had my own office- with a nice view. Esme loved her job, and a year later surprised me by applying to my hospital. _

_ All the nights I had worked late, slept in the office, she had been studying. We had our ups and downs, but we loved one another. When there had been weeks of rearranging, postponing, rain-checking… being able to inhabit the same space was shocking. Mrs. Esme Cullen. She decided to take my last name, a move that shocked her parents. It turned out, for all of the things I thought I'd known about her- not any of them were very helpful when it came to living together. _

_ If my career had won over love, if she had been a little less forgiving; we wouldn't have made it this far. We compromised a lot. Well, she compromised a lot. I had the rest of my life to prove how much I appreciated her. She still leaves random notes around for me to find. I have packages delivered to her when I think of something new to try, sexually or otherwise. Flowers, occasionally, when I know she's not expecting them; the internet is a wonderful thing. _

_ When Esme learned she wouldn't be able to bear children, it didn't keep her down for long. She cried once- the next day there were folders with adoption information all over the house. That sparked new questions; What country did we want a child from? Who was most in need of help? How would it be possible to choose from the millions of options? She had been hesitant, at first, fearing my disappointment that the child wouldn't be of my blood. I was nothing but supportive. We both desperately wanted children. Money wasn't an issue, time was no longer a factor. With both of us working and the money we had saved over the years, there was more than enough to cover any costs. _

_ Truthfully, I _had_ been upset that Esme would never carry a baby._ _That was one experience she looked forward to most and, for some reason, it was denied her. Then, there were so many guidelines, background checks. We spent hours pouring through pamphlets and government documents. Esme finally suggested we look into foster care. At that point, if we didn't spend another three hours on long-distance with foreign adoption agencies; we were completely open to suggestion. We would still be helping someone in desperate need of a home, and from within our country. _

_ What did a name mean? Once we adopted, our last name would be theirs. I dared anyone to contest the validity of my son or daughter. Esme, once again, never wanting to do anything in half-measures, decided we should sponsor both a boy and a girl. We requested a brother and sister together knowing that families rarely, if ever, managed to stay together. _

_ Pictures of Alice soon arrived. Alice Mary Brandon is still her name, though she had added Cullen without hesitating. There was no question about it. Esme loved Alice the moment her pictures fell from the envelope. _

_ In the first snapshot, she couldn't have been more than six or seven years old. She was wearing a pink sweater with some sort of white dog on it, a puffy white shirt, and a black skirt. Her eyes were sad though she was smiling for the camera. Esme was already dabbing at her face with a tissue as I read Alice's history aloud._

_ The second showed Alice at ten. She was sleeping, curled up in a ratty twin bed, two blankets spread over her as she clung to a stuffed dog. I had to pour more wine when Esme went into a fervor over the condition of the room, the cot, her clothes. Wine calms her down, it didn't work. _

_ Alice's last photograph had been taken three days after she turned fourteen. Always smiling, and Esme wasn't trying to hide her tears at this point, Alice's vibrant blue eyes were too serious for someone her age. When we read the reports that came with the pictures, I knew our decision was final. Her school records were good despite all of the relocating Alice had done. Her parents had died in an earthquake, she was raised by her grandparents until they passed on. From age seven to ten, she lived with another elderly couple. Little Alice was placed back within the system after the woman died, the husband was placed in a home. _

_ She disappeared from records for ages eleven and twelve. At thirteen the foster care system found her a new home- Esme and I lost any semblance of rationality when we read why she had been removed from said home. The father had been arrested on child-prostitution and pornography charges, his son was released into a juvenile detention center. Three other girls had been rescued, given psychiatric care, health treatment. Alice, it seems, disappeared again for two years before resurfacing in New York. _

_ Esme and I talked for about three days before realizing there was no going back. Alice was much older than the age-range we had been hoping for. What did we know about raising a sixteen year old teenaged girl? Especially one who had been through such traumatizing events. _

_ While we waited for the foster care service to contact us, we spoke to professionals and psychologists. Working at the hospital gave us endless resources, we had many contacts that proved to be helpful as the months passed. _

_ A few weeks after we had contacted Alice's current group home, we received another envelope. Edward Anthony Masen, brother of Alice Mary Brandon; age seventeen. We quickly discovered that the two weren't related. The group home insisted they be adopted together, reasons unknown. There were a good many more pictures of Edward than there had been for Alice. Four or five of them, the most interesting ones, were done in black and white with the county and police station stamped on the back. _

_ His mother had been malnourished, abused, and suffering from a severe case of pneumonia. She had been taken to the hospital and, apparently, was left there without identification. Elizabeth Masen was released into a mental facility shortly thereafter. Years of abuse, forced ingestion of drugs, prostitution, and poor living conditions had taken its toll. _

_ Not much was included about his father, Edward Masen. He was an alcoholic with a short temper. Vicious, heavily built; some of Edward's old injuries made more sense. He had lived in that hell for ten years before his father died, leaving him a ward of the state. The years he should have spent learning socialization skills, Edward spent with a raving alcoholic. None of the documents gave any clear reason as to why his second home didn't work. The third family, a couple in their mid-thirties, were arrested for forgery and grand theft auto. They had accumulated thousands of dollars in debt. Edward had been used to ward off their loan sharks, he was thirteen at the time. _

_ He stormed out of his third house in the middle of the night. Still thirteen years old, Edward had managed to get to Florida where he was arrested for assault, attacking officers of the law, kidnapping, arson, breaking and entering. Only the assault charge remained on his permanent record. _

_ He disappeared, too, for a few years, and resurfaced two and a half years later. Esme and I read through all of the notes, police reports, group homes complaints and compliments- not so many of the latter, a good number of the former. _

_ His pictures told a story on their own. Edward, no more than ten years old; his skin was pale, eyes angry and frightened, he glared at the camera. There were photos from the hospital he'd been released from. None of it had looked good. I spent days going over his x-rays and medical history to try and piece together the missing parts of his past. _

_ Another picture had been taken when he was twelve. No longer a child in any way, if dates hadn't been printed on the back with proof, I'd never believe it. How Edward was able to purchase cigarettes and alcohol was no longer a mystery. _

_ Looking at another photo, which had been taken a year or so later, the only thing that changed were the amount of tattoo's covering his body, the number of piercings. Instead of appearing hostile and withdrawn, however, he stared at the camera with a bored expression. One eyebrow was raised in, what I was to learn, a pretty normal facial expression for him. _

_ The picture after that, we had to stop for the day at that point. Esme was crying, I was heartbroken. Fifteen years old, he sat in a straight-backed chair and smoked a cigarette. Looking directly at the camera, his expression held anger and defiance. His eyes, on the other hand? We saw determination, at first. Staring at it for a few seconds… Esme finally said it. Broken, Edward looked broken. The years had finally caught up to him. Dark shadows lay under his eyes. He was angry at whomever was taking the picture, but his shoulders were slumped forward. In every other picture, he had perfect posture; Esme had noticed that, as well. _

_ We needed to know a few things before making any final decisions. If Edward and Alice weren't blood-related, what was the nature of their relationship? Had he gotten psychological help at any point in his life? Where had they been in the missing years of their life? _

_ We talked to the group home, tried to dig for more information. Finally, we booked plane tickets and flew down to speak with them in person. We weren't getting any answers otherwise. Esme climbed out of the rental car first. I saw her back straighten, she clenched her fists. When she moved, I understood why. The building was… under funded. There were bars on the windows; inside wasn't much better. Peeling paint, everything felt so clinical. White walls, tiled floor; this was how these children lived? _

_ The main room consisted of three couches, an old television. Games were set up in one corner, a few easels had been placed near the windows. The room adjoining it, their dining room, looked like a cafeteria. We saw two variations to a bedroom. One of them had two beds inside, the other had four. None were very large, nor were the beds of any good quality. _

_ I moved Esme closer to me as the kids noticed our presence. The younger ones seemed hopeful, curious. Older children greeted us with expressions of hostility, disdain, and aloof indifference. Some of them sported bruises and wounds, I watched as a thirteen year old girl lit a cigarette before one of the attendant's stopped her. And made her go outside. ... thirteen years old and already smoking? _

_ We were greeted shortly thereafter. When we explained the reason for our visit, they quickly flew into motion. After a long talk, we had already filled out all of the necessary Pre-Sponsor forms, we were able to meet Alice. They suggested we see her first because Edward was 'recovering.' Whatever that meant, Esme and I tried not to immediately judge. We wanted our minds to be clear, no predisposed assessments added to our first meeting with them. My deepest fear was that Edward would be beyond help. _

_ So many years spent surviving such bad conditions; he couldn't be mentally adjusted. The only role-models we had seen in his life either abused, neglected, used, or abandoned him. They showed us to a Meeting Room, which made both Esme and I vastly uncomfortable. We were here to adopt children, not shop for a pet. I understood now why the building felt so coldly professional. The building had, at one point, served as a police station. That explained a lot of the layout, some of the walls having been knocked down in favor of bedrooms. We had a clear view, courtesy of a two-sided mirror, into the adjoining room. It, too, was small. A table sat in the very middle, a few chairs were scattered around the room. There were posters on the wall, faded and outdated. _

"_Mr. Cullen, if you wouldn't mind leaving through that door," she pointed to the other side of the room. "There's a mirror there, too. Alice is a little wary of older men." _

"_Uh, sure," I felt the dread pooling in my chest already. This wasn't going to work if Alice would be terrified of me. I could do my best to stay away from them, but we would all occupy the same space. _

"_Sorry," Esme mouthed the words at me. I shrugged and remembered that she might not be able to see __me. Before I had a chance to open the door and respond, the woman, Beth, was back. Alice was staring at Esme calmly, studying her carefully. I couldn't see anything but curiosity and happiness in her eyes. She was fourteen now, though she seemed younger. It was better than the alternative; I had seen so many children look older than their years, Edward being one of them._

"_Hello, Alice," Esme said carefully. _

"_Hi!" Alice immediately brightened. "Nice to meet you?" Her hair was cropped short and framed her delicately featured face. _

"_I'm Esme, my husband is Carlisle." _

"_I know," Alice smiled. "Edward told me about you both." _

"_How much do you know about us?" Esme smiled as she spoke, kept her tone light. _

"_Not very much," Alice answered carefully as though reciting. "Carlisle is a doctor, you're an interior decorator and you work in the same hospital as he does, now. Your income is above average, no criminal history. You live in New York and you got married twelve years ago. That's it." _

"_How did Edward learn so much? He's very thorough."_

_ That was something I'd really like to know, too. The group home could have shared that information with them, but the way Alice had phrased it indicated otherwise. _

"_Of course. He knows someone that can get him information. Its not dangerous, he promised. Favor for a favor, his favorite way of doing things." _

_ Edward _knew _someone? I was being really careful to keep personal opinion from my first impression of them. I had yet to see the real Edward, but if he knew people who did him favors, and vice-versa? _

"_Okay… why don't you tell us a little about yourself? How is it here? Who _is _Edward?" _

_ Her expression darkened, she seemed more guarded now. Alice folded her hands in her lap and sighed. _"_I'm fourteen years old, five foot four, I weigh ninety-three pounds. This place isn't that bad, not compared to some of the other places they've put us. Edward is my brother," she stopped sounding coached at this point. "We aren't of the same blood, but we've been together for five years now. He's protected me, helped me. If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't have made it this far. I can't go anywhere without him." _

_ Strange turn of phrase. Was that because she didn't want to leave him or because he wouldn't let her go? The answer to that would be a very important one. That she only weighed ninety-three pounds was alarming, we'd need to get her onto a good diet. Esme and I would have no problem rectifying that… I was getting ahead of myself. _

"_Alice," Esme shook her head. "I wasn't asking you for statistics about yourself. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing? What's your favorite color? Do you have a nickname? A favorite thing to eat?" _

_ I applauded her judgment, she had always been really good with children. By ignoring the rest of what Alice had said, it would be easier to relax her once again. Toward the end of her speech, Alice had gotten upset. _

"_I like to read, and when Edward reads to me. Going to parks and libraries are fun, too. My favorite color is purple. Most people call me Alice, but Edward has a bunch of names for me. I don't really have favorite foods. Whatever's available? I'm not picky. I don't like split pea soup. At all," she added emphatically. _

_ No matter what we had read about her, Alice obviously hadn't lost her innocence. She sounded, and acted, as any young girl her age might. _

"_Would you mind if I ask a question?" She looked very somber all of a sudden, guarded. _

"_Go ahead," Esme encouraged. _

"_Why do you want us to live with you? We're old." _

"_You're not old," she laughed. "We don't want to push you into anything. You're talking to us because you want to, right?" _

"_Wait," Alice interrupted. "Not me, _us_. Edward comes, too." _

"_I-" _

"_I've got to go," she hopped off the chair. "He'll be up soon. You'll talk with both of us later, anyway. You wouldn't be here if that's not what you wanted." Sharp-minded and quick thinking, I noted. _"_I think you're nice. Thanks for considering us. See you later," she knocked on the door. The woman opened it instantly, Alice waved at us before disappearing out of sight. _

"_That went well, I think," Esme said numbly. _

"_Very well-spoken," I replied, a little disappointed that I hadn't a chance to meet her. There would be opportunities later, Esme was positively glowing. "She's very intelligent, sociable; none of the questions you asked seemed to bother her. You handled that well." _

"_I'm sorry," she got up and hugged me. "Thank you for being so understanding." _

"_Of course." I'd wait until later to bring up my concerns. Esme looked so happy, chances were all of my misgivings would be addressed before we left. Beth had left with Alice, we were able to talk for a few minutes before she again returned._

"_I figured you'd like to see Edward Masen and Alice Brandon together before you get a chance to meet them? Edward's a little… aggressive. A good kid, but, uh, impulsive?" _

"_- without me? What the fuck? Do you not fucking remember?" Our conversation was cut short, there was some sort of commotion going on outside of that room. We could hear clearly though we couldn't see what was going on. _

"_Touch her and I'll break your fucking hand." _

_ The door was violently wrenched open, Alice walked in first. _This _was Edward Masen? Well, he matched the pictures. Nothing could have prepared us for what walked through the door. A six feet tall, seething mass of hostility with bronze hair and sharp gray eyes slammed the door behind them. He was wearing a t-shirt with a macabre zombie on the front. Cannibal Corpse, whatever that meant, a band of some kind? The creature was holding a long jagged knife; how could Edward stand to wear… it was grotesque. _

_ Alice was very short compared to Edward who was at least ten inches taller. Her voice was musical and high, Edward's was rough, moderately pitched. Alice now wore an off-white sweater, a matching shirt, and jeans. They looked like complete opposites. So far as I had seen, Alice had no tattoos, definitely no facial piercings. Edward had quite a few of both, I had to wonder how this would all work out._

"_You should have woken me up." His tone was much lighter when addressing Alice. Esme nodded at me, she had caught that too. _

"_When's the last time you got real rest?" _

"_Doesn't fucking matter," he ran a hand through his hair. "Don't do that again, please. I wake up and had someone tell me that you'll be in a meeting with the family today? What the fuck?" He took out one of his cigarettes. There was a pack of them in his pocket. He moved a huge chain leading from his wallet to the belt-loop of his pants aside to take out a lighter. How long had he been smoking? Did he not realize the irreparable damage he was doing to his lungs? Well, probably, but I highly doubted he cared. With everything he had been through, we'd be lucky if that was his only form of substance abuse._

"_That's why I wasn't there," Alice sighed impatiently. _

"_Fine," he glared at her briefly. Visibly curbing his impatience and anger, Edward lit one of his cigarettes. "What else did they say?" He didn't offer her one, nor did Alice seem inclined to join him. _

"_Doesn't matter what they said. I'm not going anywhere without you," she crossed her arms stubbornly. _

_ This could be problematic. Esme and I desperately wanted to help Alice, give her a home. If Edward proved to be abusive or overly aggressive, he couldn't be allowed to stay with her. I was still trying not to judge, but our first impression hadn't been great. I listened to their conversation feeling conflicted about doing so. _

"_Does this feel wrong to you somehow?" I asked. _

"_Yes," Esme replied. "But... do you know of any other way to observe them together? We can't risk taking Alice home if Edward's a harm to her, us, even. Its not right, but its not wrong either?" _

"_This is actually standard procedure," the attendant interjected. "Especially for siblings that we'd like to place together. To save them from false hope, we have potential sponsors watch them interact. If you still want to __proceed, you'll be able to meet them together, or separately, that would be up to you."_

"_Is Edward prone to excessive violence?" _

_ She nodded to the window, "Watch them for a little while. I don't want to say anything on that subject yet." Beth consulted her clipboard. "I've actually got another appointment, I'll be back in half an hour. Do you want more time than that?" _

"_No, that'll be fine," I answered for both of us. Esme nodded, turned back to the window. _

"_- and you know I fucking hate band-aids." _

"_He really likes that word, huh." _

"_That's probably what he heard most often growing up," I offered. _

"_- the nurse always gave them to me when I got hurt," Alice insisted. _

"_Yeah, well that fucking stopped real fast, right? You didn't need them after I fucking- never mind…" Edward trailed off, changing the subject._

"_He wouldn't hurt her-"  
_ "_Did you hear that?-" _

_ We smiled at one another, Esme took my hand and placed it on her knee between the two of hers. _

"_His name's Johnny Silvero. Big fucking guy, he's going to teach me to be like him. I wish you'd met him, he's a pretty cool guy. He has a, uh… car. Yeah, a car-" _

"_Johnny Silvero, huh," Esme scoffed. "He's really pushing her into coming with us. They're obviously close, he does want what's best for her, Carlisle." _

_ I agreed. From the way he held the cigarette far away from her, adjusted his position whenever she moved too close; Edward cared about her. His comment about breaking a hand, which was extreme in and of itself, the intentions had been good. For the most part. He _was_ lying to her, I'd bet a week's salary that Johnny Silvero and his car existed only in Edward's imagination. I'd be paying attention to that closely, too, from both of them. Edward lied extraordinarily well, Alice seemed to believe him. _

_ Ali-fairy, he had called her. Appearances were deceiving, I mentally reprimanded myself for making instant decisions based on what Edward was wearing. I heard my name and returned my attention to the room in front of me. _

"… _you'll learn to be like him. One day you'll save some celebrity's kid. You'll be famous, and then you'll write to me about it." _

"_That was cute," Esme smiled sadly. "He holds a high opinion of you already." _

"_I don't think its me that matters. He wants to get her out of here." _

"_I know a guy there, he'll keep letters for me," Edward had been ashing his cigarette into an empty package. He looked around for an ashtray. Not finding one, he ripped the top of the package, doubled it, and put the cigarette out. That intrigued me, Edward had gone out of his way to avoid leaving evidence of his habit. Honestly, up to that point, he had reminded me of the punks that tried to breathe fire for fun. Rough speaking, dressed in black and leather, tattooed and pierced; I found myself reevaluating everything I had previously thought of him. _

"_How will you get them if you're not going to be here long?" _

"_He'll, uh, he'll fucking forward them to me, alright?" Edward sighed exasperatedly, "Jesus, its twenty-fucking questions with you all the time. Just accept it, Alice. Go, be happy, I'll be on my way and find happiness, too." _

"_Wow," Esme commented. _

"_Uh, Edward and Alice Masen?" One of the group home workers cracked open the door. _

"_Not Masen," Edward barked. He remembered his biological father, such a strong reaction to the name… _

"_You'll be able to see her in a minute." The woman, Beth, returned. "Would you prefer to see them together?" _

"_Separately again, I think," Esme glanced over at me for confirmation. _

"_Yes, it would be better to hear both sides without outside intrusion." Somehow I doubted Edward would let Alice do much talking if they were both present. He was a mass of contradiction, but for all of them, Edward was very protective of Alice. How deeply that ran, if it was obsessive, I had yet to see. _

"_Excuse me for a moment," she slipped out quietly. _

"_Still think this is a good idea?" I asked aloud. "You want to go through with this?" _

"_Are you having second thoughts?" Esme glanced back to the room where Edward was lighting another cigarette. _

"_Not exactly. Talking with them, face to face, will hopefully answer all of my remaining questions. Its not too late, though. If you're not comfortable with this arrangement, we can try something else." _

"_I'm sure," she smiled at me. "Life's going to get really interesting." _

"_Edward, too?" _

"_I… don't know yet," she sighed. "I'm not sure what I think about him yet. What if Alice won't leave? She seemed pretty adamant about staying with him." _

"_We'll figure that out within the next few hours," I squeezed her hand gently. _

"_If you're ready, Alice is waiting to see you." _

"_Of course," Esme sat in one of the chairs, I went back into the other room. I had no intention of staying here for long, but for now- with Alice in a vulnerable emotional state, Esme's presence would definitely be more welcome than mine. _

_ The door opened, Alice walked through, she was flushed and her impossibly blue eyes were bright with different emotions. Beth pushed her forward slightly as she stood stock-still, staring between us and the window. _

"_I'm Esme, my husband is Carlisle," she repeated, testing to see if Alice would remember. "How would you feel about coming to stay with us for awhile?" _

"_I- uh…" she put her hands over her eyes. Her shoulders straightened slowly, when she lowered her arms, Alice's expression was clear. There was definite recognition in her eyes._

"_I'm sure this is very scary for you," Esme said soothingly. "I heard about what happened with your last foster care parents." _

_ Good, I was glad she had addressed that right away. I didn't want Alice to think we were insane or deranged. It sickens me that there are people in the world that would use a child, who found it arousing to be with them sexually. _

_ I focused solely on Esme and Alice, blocking out all of their conversation. It was something I found extremely beneficial. Watching a patient's body language was something more important than what they were saying. So many people lied, even to the point of a fatality. Teenagers didn't want their parents to know they were sexually active. Husbands and wives didn't want their significant other to know they had an affair. No one wanted to admit to sexually transmitted diseases. How many pregnant teenagers had been rushed to the hospital for attempting makeshift abortions? Drug dealers, those addicted to drugs; they rarely admitted to it right away for fear of incarceration. No one seemed to understand that my job, first and foremost, was to help them. Whatever they had done, illegal or not, if they didn't give me all the details… misdiagnosing aside, it was egregiously frustrating. _

_ Esme looked uncertain about how to continue. She glanced over at the door, that was my cue. _

"_I'm sure your friend, Edward, will be…" _

"_Brother," Alice interrupted, crossing her arms defiantly. "He's my brother." _

_ We all watched, transfixed, as Edward struggled with his rage. It couldn't be anything but, his hands were flat against the wall. His eyes were closed tightly, every muscle was braced against whatever emotion lay behind the anger. He grabbed one of the chairs, and I moved forward instantly to shield Alice and Esme should he throw it at the window. The glass was made to withstand more than a chair, but all the same, I had treated the results of freak accidents._

_ Alice hadn't taken any notice of me. She gasped, moved toward the window. Edward paused and looked over his shoulder. Could he see us? I didn't think so, they would have said something when they were alone in the room together. Had he somehow sensed Alice? That notion was absurd. Was it? I wasn't so sure as Edward grew exponentially angrier. His eyes, once gray, were now merciless and severe. He cracked his knuckles and neck. I sighed automatically. _

_ Nearly shaking with rage, he lashed out and punched the wall. I winced, he had used enough force to break his hand. Self-destructive? Potentially suicidal? Maybe not, he had just said goodbye to his sister. I had nothing to compare that to aside from the death of my father. Edward's reaction was understandable, I could admit to wanting a wall to punch several times over that month. _

"_We'll need to buy a punching bag," I mused aloud. _

_ Alice whirled around to face me, she took a few steps closer to the window. She glanced at Edward, I could see the fear and confusion in her eyes. _

"_Do you want me to leave?" _

"_No," she stared at me for a moment before turning her back to face Edward entirely. _

"_I heard you were uncomfortable around strange men," I continued, hoping to draw her back into conversation. "I didn't mean to frighten you." _

"_You didn't, and I'm not scared of men," she answered matter-of-factly. "They say that to make people feel sorry for me. I was never scared, Edward came and made them stop." She glared at us, pointedly looked toward the window and tuned us out. _

_ Edward's hand was bleeding, but I couldn't see the damage from this view-point. There was blood on the wall, he had punched it again at some point. The pattern suggested maybe three times? Edward slid down to the floor. He lit another cigarette not seeming to notice the pain in his hand. I was slightly alarmed when he started talking to himself. That, under normal conditions, was perfectly fine. Edward, however, was speaking as though responding to someone we couldn't hear. _

_ His eyes opened, they glared at nothing. No longer gray, I was stunned by how lost he looked. Anger was always present, but it seemed as though he were… mourning Alice. It was an incredibly selfless thing he was doing. So far as I knew, Edward had no relations. He had never been afforded the luxury of a good home, let alone a real one. Alice was the only constant person in his life- he had let her go in the hope that she'd rise above everything in her past. _

"_I don't give a fuck what they do to me," he argued. Again with the silence, I planned on personally paying for his psychiatric treatment. "We'll hide until we're nineteen, she'll be fucking free. Then they can lock me up, I really don't give a shit." _

_ Alice and Esme were talking while I watched Edward. There was something about him… the way he behaved around Alice. Maturity? Was that the best way to explain his oddities? Edward was incredibly mature, that much was blatantly obvious. Esme and I had gone through their records until everything was memorized. Their disappearances coincided, which meant that Edward had found a way to provide for Alice during all of those years. Seeing her, speaking with her, she had issues we'd need to address, but otherwise? She was an amazing little girl. _

"_He lied," Alice said abruptly. _

"_Who lied to you?" I asked quietly. _

"_Edward," she sniffled, wiped her eyes angrily. "He doesn't have any friends. They're going to keep him here, I need to talk to him."_

"_Sweetie…" Esme looked to me. I knew what she was trying to communicate. With Edward in this frame of mind, Alice might not be safe with him. The next few moments happened in a blur. Alice evaded Esme's desperate attempts to keep her from escaping. The staff here was utterly incompetent. If they couldn't stop one little girl, how the hell did they make it through a day? Without hesitating, we took off after her. _

"_You lied to me!" Her scream was deafening, there was such pain and agony in her tone. _

_ We got there in time to see Alice kick Edward. Esme gasped, I pushed her behind me. Time seemed to slow, every nerve in my body was ready to take action. I didn't want to force Edward into an offensive position, but I wouldn't let Alice be inadvertently hurt. She kicked him again, it had to hurt. There had been a lot of force behind them, but Edward didn't react at all. _

"_Alice, slowly back away from him. Come over here, okay? Slowly…" _

_ Now Edward responded. His eyes met mine, I swear he made some animalistic sound. _

I never feared more for life than I did at that moment. If Alice hadn't started crying, I've no idea what he would have done. He was capable of great violence, especially for Alice and what he deemed unsafe for her. I'm more than sure that he could kill, possibly had killed, to keep her safe.

Years later and I can say the same. There's still a dark side to him that can't be breached by anyone, Bella included. He continues to see the world in black and white. There's been so much progress, yet at the same time… I'm not sure if Edward will ever be truly comfortable with himself and the world. He still sleeps with a knife under his pillow, I'm positive he carries one with him at all times.

I can remember the way he had faced off against me and four of the group homes security personnel. There was worry in his eyes, yet determination and resignation at the same time. He gave Alice orders, she had already done most of what he asked. That had been a common thing for them, it seemed.

Edward had done his best to convince Alice to come with us. Having failed that, he was prepared to fight for her decision. They had been through too much, suffered so many things together; it would break them to be separated. Alice helped balance him. There were so many demons in that boy's closet… she helped him release them one at a time. Bella, again, had helped greatly with that. I hoped Edward was able to help her in return. I had seen Isabella Swan's medical records, including a brief stay in a mental facility.

She didn't try to hide any of her scars. Charlie had asked me to look into obtaining Bella's past medical records. Some of what we found made him laugh in some memory, apparently Bella had been a rather clumsy child. More recent ones, however, sent him into a rage that was known counties over. It took a lot to anger Charlie, but once someone did… that was part of the reason I feared for Edward's new relationship. They were both good for one another, anyone could see that.

Edward had called me Dad in the hospital to ease her fears. He had never addressed me anything but Carlisle, sometimes he added doctor to it. We recently overheard him slip and call Esme and I his parents. Later that night, not wanting it to seem like anything had changed, she cried in happiness. Yet if something happened and Bella were hurt… I trusted Charlie not to kill Edward. I didn't, however, trust Charlie not to shoot him in a non-vital area. There was nothing Chief Swan cared about more than his daughter.

I had watched as he went from being drunk every night, to drinking twice a week. In about two months he was stone sober. His daughter needed him, he said. It was the first time I had heard of the Chief asking for help from anyone. I quickly referred him to a specialist outside of Port Angeles, to save him from running into someone he associated with. Bella moved in with him shortly thereafter.

Less than two days later, she stayed the night with us. I trusted Edward, Esme had assured me that nothing would happen. She just _knew_. Watching them together, I noticed a lot of similarities. Bella flushed and was agitated by compliments and courtesy. Edward always seemed surprised by them, too. He would say thank you and be stunned into silence for a second.

I had heard them argue about everything from bands to classical literature, word definitions- and more deeply disturbing, fight scenes in movies. They shared different techniques, critiqued the scene for it's 'real factor,' discussed how it could have been better. I'd never heard any details on how they had gained said knowledge, but those moments were always a little startling.

Edward had seemed so… tired; has it really only been five years? Four years? I was never really sure how to calculate things like that. When Esme and I got the chance to meet with him, alone… there had been no doubt at that point. Edward and Alice would become Cullens.

"_I really fucking-" he glanced at Esme, looked down at the floor, "uh, really appreciate you adopting us. I'm the last person you want, ask anyone. If you wouldn't mind me staying for a week or two, to make sure Alice __gets settled in, I'll disappear after that. She won't go without me, I can't force her to leave. So… this way, we'll all feel safer and… I'll be on my way." _

"_Do you not want to live with us?" That was another big question; if he didn't want to stay, I'm pretty sure nothing would keep him. _

"_I never actually considered it," he leaned back in the chair, avoided looking at us directly. "In another few years, I'll be a legal adult. One year after that and my probation goes away. Hell, I could always die before all of that and none of it would matter." He meant that humorously, but neither Esme nor I were amused. That he could speak of his own death so easily, possibly wanted it? _

"_Think about it," Esme insisted. "Do you mind if I ask you why you're on probation?" _

"_And why it looks as though you haven't slept in a week?" I added, wanting more personal information. An insight to the way these kids had lived._

"_Uh…" he ran a hand through his hair. "Both of them are answers you won't like." _

"_Are they truthful?" _

"_Yes," he glared at me briefly. "You've helped us out in more ways than I could say. Thank you for that, of course. I wouldn't lie to you about anything. I'll warn you because some of this stuff isn't pleasant… but no, I won't lie." _

"_We won't judge anyone, Edward. I'm sure you know that they sent information to us concerning both of your histories? I hear that you've done some research on us, too." _

"_Yeah, that plays into your other question. Just… don't blame Alice for anything, okay? She really had nothing to fucking do with it." _

"_Okay," I replied. That was the first time he had cursed after his slip-up in front of Esme. Edward really was trying, only now that he was agitated did his colorful way of speaking emerge once again._

"_The last family that came for Alice, they seemed like nice people. I did some digging, I know someone that can access people's records. It's a fair trade, they get what they want, I get what I need. No one's hurt in the process," he hastened to add. "Anyway, Alice calls me a week or so later. She tells me that they're making her wear strange clothes and that they've taken pictures of her. Then she says they want to prep her for making a movie. I didn't know what that fucking meant and I wasn't about to find out." _

_ He pulled out his pack of cigarettes without seeing anything. I wasn't going to protest, not during whatever memory he was reliving, Edward pushed his chair backwards and angled his body away from us. _

"_I asked if there was a time-frame for all of this, she had at least two days because they were shooting something then. I wasn't anywhere near Florida, but I got there. What other choice was there? Calling the police wasn't going to do anything, that family was rich. They'd come after me either way, at least my way would teach them a fucking lesson." _

_ He absently stroked the mark on his neck. I looked closer and could vaguely see the circular scar. A rope or chain of some kind had caused it; what the hell? _

"_How did you obtain that scar?" _

_ His lip curled sardonically as he froze, surprised. "I'm getting to that part. You're observant." _

"_Thank you," I adapted his courteous way of speaking to people. _

"_Um… no problem," he shifted, uncomfortable with the courtesy. "I kept in contact with her to be sure they weren't trying anything shitty. I'd find a way to occupy them if Alice was unsure. Don't ask me how, I won't be able to tell you. I, uh, staked their building, learned their schedules. All of them were home the night I had to rescue Alice, there wasn't any more time. Unfortunate, for them, at least," he smiled grimly. _

_ This wasn't good, either. If Edward had killed them… _

"_The son got his chain around my neck and tried to choke me, but I dislocated his knee first. The other girls had no idea who I was. They started screaming as Alice tried to calm them down. What should have been quick and easy turned into a clusterfuck of mammoth proportion. I was standing in the midst of three unconscious people, one of their guards, four nearly naked chicks, one of which was my sister…the cops pulled __up…" _

_ That explained everything; breaking and entering, assaulting an officer of the law, kidnapping, even. Edward had been doing the right thing in a wrong way. If he had killed one of them, there was no room for doubt, he would have gone to prison. _

"_Long story short, Alice was fucked over again, not literally. If it ever comes up, I'd appreciate you not... divulging certain details from what I've told you? She doesn't know I was supposed to go to jail. if my defense attorney had been an asshole, I'd be there. In this case, at least, money couldn't buy all the evidence. Once someone copied it onto the internet… they were done. Last I heard they're all still rotting in jail. And yes, I try to keep tabs on them." _

"_Using the same contact as before?" _

"_Yes." _

"_Are you involved with any gang, Edward? Is that where your… contacts come from?" _

"_Some of them," he admitted. "I'm not in a gang any longer, I stopped that shit a long time ago. Alice needed me, it was getting too dangerous. Not worth the agitation, I could do all of that on my own and keep everything instead of splitting it between people that had nothing to do with it. Uh, anyway, I left a good number of years ago and haven't been back since. One or two of them stayed friends, they're useful." _

"_Well, okay then," Esme cleared her throat, I knew she was trying hard not to show compassion and pity. If Edward sensed either of those things, he'd stop talking to us. _

"_Do you still want the answer to your second question?" _

"_If you don't mind sharing it?" _

"_Some of the kids here heard about the would-be pornography. One of them decided to taunt her, he had a bet or something going that he'd be the one to take her... virginity. When he heard I was coming after him, discreetly because of the probation, he went into hiding. I couldn't sleep, he's the type that would pull something really shitty, possibly damage Alice in some new way, you know? So I was in front of the door, as usual, not sleeping… and he made a huge mistake." _

"_Why didn't you tell anyone that Alice was being threatened?" _

"_So other guys think I can't handle the problem? No, Alice would never be safe again, not so long as we're here. I'd be forced into more fights; one when no witnesses are around, is different from beating the shit out of someone in broad daylight when I'm not supposed to hurt anyone else. It would never fucking end." _

"_And it stopped once you hurt the… aggressor?" _

"_Yes," he replied as though surprised we hadn't guessed. _

"_Edward… the place we're taking you is nice, its safe. You wont need to fight for Alice. If you feel threatened, either of you; can you tell one of us_ _before taking physical revenge?"_

"_Safe," Edward smiled scathingly. "And it wasn't revenge, it was vengeance. Not guided by the ego or done to make myself feel better at their expense… well, actually. Yeah, okay, both work." _

"_You're trying to scare us away," Esme said softly. "Its not going to work, Edward. We want you to be part of our family. You're both welcome. Carlisle and I are willing to adopt both of you together, but a few things _have _to change. Not for you or for us, but because the path you're on leads to your imprisonment."_

"_I know that," Edward sighed. "I don't go around asking for trouble. Alice and I keep to ourselves, we don't go begging. I make sure we have money, and I get it any way I need to. Most of the time I can get people to see things my way and become a contact. There are always the exceptions that need to fuck with other people. They start shit, that starts other shit- Alice and I are in danger again. It never stops, no matter which way I try to play. So I said fuck it, if problems come, I'll deal with them, you know?" _

"_Or you'll…" Esme hinted._

"_I don't like running," he lit another cigarette. "You think you've hit rock bottom, then you run to escape it. They find you. I _really _don't like running." _

"_No, Edward. There's still another option." _

"_I won't admit to any crimes," he exhaled slowly. "I've never killed anyone." _

"_Us," Esme took his hand, he jolted but didn't fight her. "Us, Edward. That has to be your first thought. It's a new world you're entering. The law is on your side, people will help protect you. You've got to tell us what's going on, otherwise they could take Alice from us, too." _

"_I'd really like to believe that," he hissed a little. Esme couldn't help crying at this point, Edward looked horrified when he saw her tears, I had no idea how to react. The doctor in me wanted to check the burn on his skin, the husband wanted to comfort my wife; I didn't know which to go with. Then, another side emerged and made me wonder at the tolerance for pain Edward had. The cigarette had been against his skin for more than a few seconds. Yet only after he'd settled Esme did he move it. _

"_Are you okay?" Esme nodded at me. "Do you think it'd be possible to get a first-aid kit?" _

"_No more bandages," Edward crossed his arms to hide the burn. "I'm not hurt, at all. Don't worry about it, my mistake." _

"_Edward, we want to love you as parents. Its completely your choice whether you stay, come with us, or leave when you're of legal age. We can give you everything you told Alice and then some. Think about it, let Carlisle help with the cigarette burn. You know, that wouldn't be an issue if you wanted to quit…" _

_ Amusement warred with disbelief, his chair toppled over when Esme stood. He could speak of being choked to death completely calmly, but my wife moves from her chair and Edward bolts? _

"_Let me give you a hug. Its what people do when things are resolved for the better." _

"_Um, great," he raised an eyebrow and retreated another step. _

_ Esme wiped her eyes with a tissue and smiled regardless._

"_You have to stop crying," Edward snapped. "I'll let him look at my hand if you swear never to cry because of something I fucked up. Tell me, beat the fuck out of me, but, you, don't cry." _

_ That didn't really help restrain Esme's emotional state. Edward was incredibly intelligent, also very manipulative. He hadn't turned any of his potentially dangerous traits against us yet, but even regulated he was a force to be reckoned with. I could see how he kept Alice safe for all these years. Her connection to him showed in the way he instinctively treated women, as though they were something that needed to be protected. _

_ The following year was… eventful. New York wasn't working out, Edward and Alice desperately needed a change of scenery. With help from the hospital, we were relocated to Forks, Washington. It was exactly as Esme had pictured. No smog-filled skies; I had the house built as we finalized everything, not planning on returning. Forks was our new home, a fresh start for everyone. The hours were a lot easier, the charm of living in a small town still hasn't faded. Scheduling wasn't a problem, even with Esme working part-time, god forbid she not tackle three projects at once. _

_ We didn't start work until well into the second semester. By that point, they had acclimated to the new environment. Edward insisted that he wasn't bored, Alice seemed challenged educationally. They were both happy with the forest. The two of them would go on long walks, Esme and I wouldn't worry about how many things could go wrong. The chances of them being mugged, shot, beaten, kidnapped, and killed were much slimmer in a town of three thousand and twenty five people compared to the two hundred thousand in just our borough of New York. _

_ Edward had refused to seek psychological help. The look in his eyes whenever we brought it up… as we had learned the first day, Edward was incredibly courteous. It was as though his manners, money, and time were the only things he felt capable of giving. He wasn't able to call us his parents, but Edward managed to call our house 'home' when he realized Esme thought him unhappy. I wanted him to be comfortable with speaking to someone. There were clearly things that he was repressing. He suffered from nightmares for awhile, Edward tried to hide that he wasn't sleeping. Once we got to Washington, he still had the occasional hellish dream, but everything else improved. _

_ Forks was fun, interesting. Everyone was friendly, we made a good number of friends instantly. People here dedicated Sundays to fishing, there was a Twinkle Light Holiday Parade- somehow I didn't envision anything like Macy's. Perfect. I wanted everyone to relax, take all the time they needed to adjust. We could all, collectively, take a literal breath of fresh air. Edward and Alice accepted the news without argument, Esme was ecstatic. She was able to satisfy her passion for interior decoration. Alice, too, had a knack for it. _

_ The two of them were able to bond over color samples, fabric patterns; Edward and I bonded a little with faked enthusiasm for their every inquiry. Too blue? Cerulean or sapphire? Would carpeting be better than hardwood floors with a carpet on top of the planks? As Alice and Esme chattered excitedly, that had been the first time Edward laughed around us. He was forced to go shopping a few times, and though his exasperation was clear, he went because it made them, and him, happy. _

_ Affectionate gestures and Edward did not go hand in hand. He always managed to find other ways to show his emotions. The day he and I sat down to talk about why I kept reaching into the money cabinet to find a lot more than Esme or I had placed there… that was when the whiskey came out. I had felt the need to drink maybe four times in my life. To celebrate my marriage, champagne throughout the wedding night, thanks to some inventive ideas from both of us. The third time was far after my father died, it was the first opportunity I'd had to grieve. The hangover from that drinking binge ensured that I not think about alcohol favorably for a good while. _

_ Edward explained that he was paying us rent. I didn't scream at him, but it was made clear that there had been a major misunderstanding. He felt as though he owed us for adopting them. A year had gone by, he was certain we would tell him to leave. _

_ One mishap with alcohol; I found a bottle hidden in a garbage can that wasn't any brand of mine. Edward said he didn't drink very often, just when he remembered too much. The most difficult part about trying to care for two teenaged kids, both damaged, was that I couldn't treat Edward as any normal teenager. He had done things, saw things that most people lived without being aware of. At thirteen, he had shouldered the burden of raising Alice, selflessly risking his life and future to keep her safe. All of that notwithstanding, there had to be some boundaries. This seemed like the right time; I couldn't overlook him drinking underage, in my house. _

_ Instead of twenty-one, I made him promise to wait until eighteen before opening any form of liquor. Two years from now, he would learn that there were other, safer, ways of handling memories. Now that he's eighteen, I know how many teenagers drink. Blood never lies, more than half of Forks High School's kids have been caught drinking, smoking marijuana, sometimes doing harder drugs. Some of that I discovered first-hand, other times Charlie would tell stories of ticket after ticket being written a mile away from La Push's line. I didn't entirely understand the whole 'agreed upon generations ago' treaty that the Res shared with Forks Police. Both parties were appropriately protected, no one seemed to have any problem with the technically illegitimate laws. _

_ I never heard word of Edward attending any of the heavier drinking parties. My worries were unfounded when, at the beginning of the school year, he became the charming center of attention. Guys 'stopped by' to see if Edward wanted to play sports, 'hang' with them in hopes of getting the girls that flocked after him,._

_ I worried only because the fact that Edward was sexually active wasn't something he tried to hide. He scheduled regular appointments at the hospital, making sure that neither Esme nor I were working that day. When he bought condoms at the grocery store, with Esme present, we had to have a talk with him about what safe sex truly meant. _

_ Turns out, Edward knew all the facts. He had researched all of the sexually transmitted diseases, the price of abortion within the state and the laws surrounding the procedure. When Edward did something, he went fully prepared. Esme and I were forced to admit he truly was being responsible. What products he bought, however, weren't to be purchased with either of us. Edward apologized, he really hadn't seen a problem. _

_ One of the last things his mother did for him was take out health and life insurance. I don't know how she managed it in her condition, but Edward was left with a nice amount of money. Our conversation had encompassed all of those things, we had many of them, in fact. When Edward furnished their rooms, after Esme and Alice had planned them, in order to save us the money and inconvenience… we had to talk with him. He had already made Alice accept a copy of his debit and credit card, connected to his account. _

_ She would never again feel unsafe, he said. He understood that they were safe, together, with us. Some part of him truly believed that we'd grow tired of him, cast him out to fend for himself. He said that prior families had charged him for food, electricity, water; anything they could think of. To save us the humiliation of having to ask, he added what he thought equivalent to what they had used. He made it clear that it wasn't an obligation, it was his way of thanking us for providing for them so well. _

_ Come here, sweet, sweet whiskey. _

_ I gave him a copy of our tax forms, he accepted proof our accumulated wealth and future income. For a few months the extra money stopped showing up. When he didn't seem to be going out so much anymore, preferring to spend the evening with us or reading in his room, we decided to talk with him again. He admitted that the two things were unrelated. The burgeoning popularity he was gathering among his peers was done for Alice's sake. He didn't like that they had snubbed her. What with the lack of family history, something that was rather important here, they were outsiders. I hadn't considered that before, but Edward had taken care of it. _

_ Rather than using his fists, he had found a new way of dealing with people. Edward could be incredibly charismatic when he put his mind to it. People bent over backwards to know him, without any conceivable effort on his part. He did it in a way that wasn't cocky or overbearing, Alice played an equal role in their game. If she knew that girls were using her to get closer with Edward, she'd ignore them. Only when they approached her with true offers of friendship, which got them even further in their goal for getting Edward, did Alice grant them time. Even then, if they came over and Edward was in his room, with the door closed… Alice had no patience for subtle hints that she get him to join them. _

_ They eventually realized how essential she was to various school committees. She shared a few of her ideas with them, which turned out to be quite successful. Alice had worked her way in, letting Edward escape- something he was relieved to do- while giving him free pick of women in school. The plan was effortlessly executed, neither of them had to try very hard. Edward was merciless when dealing with anyone who didn't respect Alice. Without causing bloodshed, he managed to make his point stick. Alice didn't allow him to be used and granted him solitude from everyone who had taken an interest in them. _

_ The fact that he stopped paying 'rent' and going out with people at the same time was coincidental, but not purposefully so. Edward did admit that he felt off-balance, a lot, because he didn't feel as though he contributed anything._

_ Psychologically, it did him greater harm than good to pull out all of the stops so soon. We had gotten him to stop drinking. He had cut back on smoking, I'm pretty sure that's true. His knuckles weren't open and bleeding everyday, the bruises on his body faded. He seemed really troubled that there was nothing he could do, in an above-average way, to help. It was grating on him, Esme and I could see the frustration he felt at not being able to show love. That's what it was, we realized. Edward loved us, but couldn't admit that to himself. By giving us money, which to him was security, it was, sadly, the equivalent to saying 'I love you.' _

_ Finally, after discussing solutions with Esme, we decided to let him continue paying. He really did understand that we didn't need the money, figures don't lie. Edward also knew that we didn't want him to pay us anything, he did so only to make himself feel better, unfounded as the urge money he gave us, we put into a separate account in both his and Alice's name. When they were thirty-five years old, they'd get not only what he gave us per week- then bi-weekly- now its monthly… hopefully in another year or so, he won't be paying at all- but extra monetary bonuses from us, as well. They truly would want for nothing. _

_ Any worries that Edward would blow through all of the money were unfounded. He rarely ever tapped into his account. Only on special occasions, a few whim purchases for everyone, did he use his card. He took out four hundred dollars per month, a little more now that he and Bella were dating._

_ The only big things he'd bought had been Alice's car, he made sure the car had been tested in a variety of ways after reading extended car safety tests online. So damn thorough, I made a point of telling him to look into becoming a lawyer, a doctor, especially with his photographic memory and attention to detail. _

_ We bought him the Volvo and only let him buy Alice her car because it had been a promise he'd made her. During their sophomore and junior years, we asked what their plans were for college. Alice immediately said she wanted to look into community colleges. Esme and I loved that she wanted to stay close to home, yet we tried to convince Alice that her intelligence would be wasted in those places. _

_ They both had very high grade point averages; Esme and I didn't realize the extent of Edward's care for Alice until we went to a bookstore. Edward went off to browse on his own, Esme and I wandered with Alice and listened to her chatter. When we passed the kids section, Alice squeaked in happiness. We remembered her saying the library was one of her favorite places, but it hadn't dawned on us that they'd be reading there. She started at one shelf, pointed out all of the books from her childhood with him. We were stunned, floored when we passed a rack of Classical literature and Alice off-handedly commented on reading most of them, too. _

_ Alice explained it in Edward's words. _'_Learn to speak like them, Ali-fae. You'll always have an edge, and you'll never be considered uneducated.' _

_ That explained a lot, actually. Why Edward insisted on helping 'support' the family, his odd way of speech when addressing people he truly cared for. It could account for why he had become so instantly attached to Alice. All of his literary role-models had been well-versed in chivalry, honor, duty, and obligation. The heroes rescued damsels in distress, saved them from any and all perceived harms, dueled to avenge their honor. _

_ We had been in a relatively crowded restaurant one night after Edward and Alice had been with us for a few months. I had gone to talk to the hostess about getting a table. When I turned around, Edward had someone up against the wall, his arm twisted behind his back. All of it was over in seconds, hardly anyone noticed the exchange. When I got back to them, Esme explained that the guy had been in a hurry and knocked her aside. Edward, without thinking, pinned him and demanded he apologize. The short, bumbling shy man, who had been staring at the floor instead of where he was walking, stuttered out an apology and ran. _

_ Talking with him later, we realized that Edward really hadn't seen anything wrong with his actions. If we lived in a Western, maybe, but here, in the modern world there was a legal word for it… assault. How to explain that to a kid with a past based in violence and pain, who had channeled all of that into doing the right thing in out-dated ways? _

"What are you thinking about listening to… this?" Esme raised her eyebrow and sat on my lap.

"Alice thought I'd like it," I moved the chair forward so she could put her arms around my neck.

"Ah," she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I was wondering… do you think we've been good parents? I'm sure they're both sexually active, Edward's able to drink, he still smokes. I'm not sure what he has left to pierce, and I really don't want to know how many he truly has. Alice, who has never taken an interest in seriously dating, or dating at all, is over the moon about Jasper Hale..."

"She talked to me about it this morning," I felt Esme smile. "Your pulse is racing, Carlisle. We've known all of this for awhile."

"True…"

"Alice said a lot about Jasper, none of which led me to believe he's anything but a gentleman. They've been looking into contraceptives," she inhaled slowly, still adjusting. "At any rate, we're having them over for dinner tomorrow."

"Okay, but now that you've nicely evaded my question… what does having dinner with them have to do with Alice's interest in birth control?"

"Honey," Esme looked up at me, "they are doing it responsibly."

"Yes, but… shouldn't _we_ be responsible? I mean, we can't just… ignore this, right?"

"We aren't ignoring it. If anything, we should be happy they're comfortable enough bringing those topics up with us. Alice was embarrassed, but she still came to me instead of going to someone else."

"Edward told me that he and Bella are dating now."

"He's finally admitted it?"

"Seems like it," I sighed.

"Charlie's a good, rational person. He loves Bella and Edward will win him over, when has that ever been a problem for him? Have you seen the way he is with her? They sit for hours and _talk_, when has Edward ever shown interest like this before? He cares about her, they rarely do anything apart."

"I woke him yesterday. He recognized me right away. That's when we talked and he admitted to having feelings for her. He woke up and immediately offered to keep me company before work."

"And you wonder if we're good parents?"

"Edward's courteous enough to keep his sex life private, when we're not home. You and I both know its happening."

"I've been talking to Rhea, she said we've done the best we could. Both of them have changed so much, you've noticed the changes, right?"

"Of course."

"When's the last time you heard Edward talk about leaving? This is home now got both of them. When Bella was injured, you were the first person he turned to. Alice couldn't be happier, she's in charge of so many things at school, part of so many activities; she loves all of it. She's found someone that may truly love her. I haven't seen her make any new collages."

Alice had them all over her room. They symbolized different times in her life. We hadn't known what any of them meant, but Alice was slowly explaining them to us. They were magnificent, and bred from pain and distorted memories.

We heard the door open, I glanced at the clock.

"Bella, I swear to fuck, if you try to take my bag _one_ more time…" that was Edward, colorful as always.

"Edward, you carry _her_ around. Why can't she take your bag?" I could picture Alice with one hand on her hip, glaring at him.

"Really not helping, Alice."

"I don't want to see Bella cartin' you anywhere, mind," Jasper drawled, "but she's got a point, man."

"Just because you're an inconsiderate bastard doesn't mean that I should be," Edward snorted. "Lay the fuck off, go suck face elsewhere."

"Eloquent, Edward," Alice huffed. "We don't do that in front of you. Talk about inconsiderate."

"Yeah, yeah," I heard him move across the entryway. "We're going to do some homework, watch a movie. If you guys get bored with planning your fun day 'o fishing, come find us."

"You're going fishing?" I could hear the disdain in Bella's voice from here.

"Um, yeah," Alice cleared her throat.

"Gross. What if I went to Thriftway, bought you some salmon… or borrowed some from Charlie's freezer, and you cooked it over a bonfire or whatever you Texans do."

"Bonfire?" Edward laughed.

"Hey, it beats throwing shit in a can and lighting it on fire," Bella said. "Marshmallows just don't taste the same."

"You roasted marshmallows over a fucking trashcan fire?"

"Uh, yeah? It's warm _and_ delicious."

"Oh my _god_," Edward was half-amused, half-horrified.

It never ceased to amaze me how they were able to talk about things like that humorously. Another facet of Bella's life was uncovered. At some point, she had been reduced to burning things for warmth. In, what I had learned, was typical Bella-practicality, she made marshmallow roasting perfectly justifiable.

"That's one way of doing things," Jasper agreed. "I know you're secretly jealous of my skill."

"Skill?" Esme chuckled at Bella's tone.

"Alice's got a man who can splice firewood for her. You?"

"Bella's got a guy that will give her a house with a fireplace," I knew he was smirking. "Then I'll hire a man like you who'll chop said firewood for us."

Silence reigned, Esme and I were struggling desperately not to alert them to our presence.

Bella was the first to break the quiet. "As Kelso would say… burn!"

She, Alice, and Edward laughed.

"I don't know who that is," Jasper said.

"No way," Bella gasped. "We've got plans for the next… two weeks, at least. I've got the entire 'That 70's Show' series on my computer."

"So do I," that was Edward.

"Yes, but if we use my laptop, we can connect it into your awesome tv and watch them on that."

"Or we could change the cords so my computer connects to said television…"

Bella laughed. "Oh sure, you and all your fun gadgets."

"Gadgets," Edward repeated, drolly. "Not thingamajigs?"

"Thingamabobs, you mean?" Alice added.

"Doohickeys," Jasper finished. "Totally what you meant."

"Assholes, all" Bella's heels clicked across the floor though she was laughing. "Whatever, Jasper. You'll learn to truly appreciate one of the most chill TV programs ever."

"Sounds fine by me," Jasper agreed.

"Before I got side-tracked," Bella remembered, "go back with me a minute? Fishing?"

"What do you have against fishing?" That was Edward, he truly sounded confused.

"Oh, Alice... darlin'," Jasper laughed suddenly. "Why didn't you just say so?"

"Sorry, Ali," Bella sighed. "I wasn't quick enough."

"I, uh…"

Esme and I were beginning to understand. With everything we knew of Alice, fishing would be low on her list of date possibilities. She liked Jasper enough to try, but I couldn't imagine her reeling in a fish considering the hook was stuck through its mouth. Humane, that was Alice.

"We'll plan something else, tell me next time, alright? There's plenty to do around here."

All of them; Jasper, Bella, Edward, and Alice… worked. From what I had seen, Bella clicked with them immediately. There was no introductory period needed. Edward had invited her over spontaneously and, much to our happiness, she considered this her second home. Jasper had been a little more hesitant. Alice introduced us, from the way she had been holding his arm, it was apparent from the start that they were more than friends. Jasper was exceedingly respectful, he stood whenever a woman left the room. His old-world manners instantly charmed Esme, I appreciated them in Alice's favor. Why he hadn't come to talk to me yet, I wasn't sure. We'd be seeing him soon, I'd speak with him then.

"Oh, hey, guys," Edward backtracked as he passed our study.

"Hi," Bella waved, blushed, and looked away when she saw how we were sitting.

"They do that all the time. You should see some of the stuff Carlisle, er," he flicked a glance down at her, then at me, "… Dad sends her. Anything that comes in a brown box without an official label?"

"Edward!" Esme flushed, "Honestly! They were… placemats."

"_Sure,"_ he smirked. "Let's leave them do the dirty, we'll really be studying."

"So tomorrow, then?" I caught his attention. "Hospital, after school."

"I dropped by today, but you weren't there…"

"You knew I'd be here," I reminded him.

"Whoops," he grinned. "My mistake. I'll be healed by tomorrow, anyway."

Esme exchanged a look with me as they walked away. Dad?

Edwards voice was clear and abrupt, "Ow! What the fuck?"

"I _told_ you it'd be a good idea."

"Bella," we heard Edward grit out. "I'm fucking fine. I really will be fine by tomorrow, stop fucking _worrying_ about it."

"Oh," their voices were harder to hear now. "So you can get me a house with a fireplace, but… you won't let me manipulate you into going to the hospital? Doesn't seem fair."

"No, first I'd get you a fucking car. That truck is a piece of shit. Second, I'm _fine_. I don't know how else to say it. Want different languages? Would that help?"

"My truck is awesome," she paused. "Yes, please."

"You had doubts?" Esme was smiling secretively.

"Not so many anymore," I kissed her for a moment, sighed. "We should get started on dinner. I'm not sure if anyone's staying."

"Carlisle? The reason I came to find you… remember how we were talking about New York and how different, and better, things are now?"

"Yes…"

"Do you remember that Christmas we were working together in the city? A little red haired girl came in with a broken arm, her brother was with her."

"Right. They had no insurance, it wasn't a big procedure. We helped pay for her treatment. I remember that vividly."

"Okay, you recall how strange it was, my feeling that night? How we had to help them even though everyone else said it was a bad idea? We did it anyway? The only time we became emotionally attached to patients to the point where we interceded on their behalf?"

"Yes..."

"We got all of Alice's medical files and compared them to all of the candidates of female children with broken arms…"

"Esme-"

"It was them. First, I looked back at some of the pictures we've taken over the years. There's a tattoo on his chest, two sets of numbers coincide. One of the symbols next to the numbers is the logo for our old hospital. I went back over the donations given to the hospital after Edward turned sixteen. He wouldn't have inherited money then, but we know that's when they branched out on their own. We know he made a lot of money doing whatever it is he did."

"Ok…"

"Anthony Brandon made a donation of six thousand dollars on the same day, years later. Edward's dislike for hospitals is evident, but he made it clear that he wants to be informed if we need help. 'Its better than a check, right?' He's said variations of that more than once."

"I don't think he'll ever admit to it…"

"You sure about that?"

"Not entirely." It was worth considering, maybe not right now. He seemed so happy lately, though I'd have to talk with Jasper and Edward later about their fighting. Playing or not, I couldn't have them risk breaking bones.

Whether it had been Edward and Alice was still questionable. She had provided nearly intangible proof, but if Edward confirmed it? I'm not sure what we'd do with the news. Nothing would change, of that I was sure. They had left before we, personally, saw them. Esme had glimpsed Alice, but with emergencies all over the place… they slipped away in the rush of people.

"See? Women's intuition wins again," she smiled. "Feel like pastitsio with béchamel sauce?"

"I've long since stopped questioning it," I kissed her again. "And absolutely."

**Authors Note:**  
That chapter… was insane. On so many levels. Sorry it took so long to write! Oh man, Carlisle is brutal as fuck! I started that a day or so ago, wrote for ten hours. Add another six today… plus Edward and Bella yammering. The chapter was originally supposed to stop somewhere before everyone else got home. Then, at that point, I was completely gone, really tired- and everything seemed funny. Hence their inane banter. Hope you enjoyed, had questions answered. I'm sure I'll have to alter their ages, I felt as though I were researching a paper. Tabs open all over the place, referencing, checking my notebook… horrible flashbacks to college, haha. At 14,000+ words, I'm proud of this chapter. Extremely tired, but excited about getting back into Edward and Bella's mind.

**Authors Note 2:**  
I started researching life insurance, which led me to trusts, which led me to inheriting, taxes, different types of plans- so eventually, I said fuck it. The facts concerning Edward's inheritance are probably wrong, if anyone knows about this type of thing… let me know how to fix it, I will. =)

**Authors Note 3:**  
Reading back over this chapter, I'm incredibly happy with how this all turned out. Plot twist, room for development. Carlisle compared to Edward; I like the different forms of masculinity. Carlisle as a doctor, making love work with his career, and the two of them being successful in the end. Edward, with his variation of what makes a man, is similar to Carlisle albeit in different ways.I can sense there's a conversation in the works with Bella concerning the new 'Dad' word. Not sure what happens between them yet that Edward considers trying it out. The fishing thing from an earlier chapter with Bella and Alice has been concluded.  
There are two fun dinners, if they make it into the story as actual scenes. Hope all of you enjoyed this… it was a serious bitch to get done, haha.

**Authors Note 4:  
1MrsECullen-**  
I figured that Edward was mature enough to get Charlie's respect, and he has the experience to back his words. Thanks!

**Angel04une- **  
Hahaha, of course!

**Acw1-  
**Hey! Thank you very much!

**Edward4life1, DodgerMcClure, Tina062093, Heavyinfinity, PrincessBElla24-  
T**hanks to all of you for the awesome reviews! Sorry for the long wait, the other two chapters are being beta'd now so hopefully they'll be up soon, too!

**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Lucky! My dad's always managed to pull any guy I dated over to the side for 'the talk.' Some passed, some didn't… I learned to keep them secret, haha. I have a sister, too. She's younger than me and I hope that she doesn't follow my life-path. 'shiver.

**VAVikingGirl-  
**I wasn't sure what Carlsle's reaction would be and I think it shows… but then again, Carlisle is Edward's Dad, that's his job, right? Charlie is taking a stance based on, 'hey, this guy's dating my daughter,' not 'this could destroy Edward and hurt the family.' I hope that people will feel more warmly to Carlisle after this chapter.. Thank you, as always. =D

**Karen4honor-  
**No problem! Aside from this chapter, I plan for the two of them to have lots of 'fun' and in other ways, muhaha.

**Amelia Bedelia-  
**Thanks! That chapter kicked my ass all over the place! Glad to know you enjoyed it! Mmm… seduction. Hehe, you bring up good points, I thank you for them!  
**o  
**Your reviews are amazing, I can't say enough how much I appreciate you taking the time to write such in-depth comments! I can definitely see it happening, just not sure when, and if, it will. It would have to be after all of the 'loose ends' are tied because more drama right now would just… break them. Maybe in four or five chapters? It'd be fun to write, definitely!

**9el.-  
**Cool name! I definitely plan on bringing Rosalie into the story, I already have when she makes her appearance written. As for Emmett, yes, I'm hoping to bring him in at some point, too. I figure if all of the Canon couples are here, Emmett needs to be, too!

**AmeliaCullen1-  
**Yea, I've heard that _a lot_. Thanks to everyone for being so supportive of their relationship! I keep trying to get the words said, and then it goes in another direction. Gah!

**My4kids-  
**I know, Edward makes me laugh- and melt a little. Charlie was really fun to write. He's a mix of honor, good Dad, and awkward that always entertains me. The flashbacks will be explained soon, I've got three chapters written. Just waiting for Lisa to edit the messes, haha. The cherry bomb thing was completely improvisational. Edward seemed the type that would have a few of those stashed away, muhaha.

**The Blessing and the Curse-  
**^_^ Edward on a motorcycle, in leather, always makes me happy.

**LondonGoth-  
**Hehe, thanks!

**Kitasky123-  
**I'm sorry school has been stressful for you. Hopefully, by this update, things have calmed down for you! Thank you for taking the time to review with all you have going on!

**KCakaAlice-  
**Yay! Thanks very much!

**Achlies-  
**… wow. Your review made me squee! Thank you, thank you! I hope you like the rest of the story! I love your name, by the way. Nice play, it made me think back to earlier chapters where Edward, Alice, and Bella are watching Troy. Nice to know another history fan!

**Parkesy23-  
**Thanks for all the reviews!


	27. Sad Exchange

**Chapter 27  
- Sad Exchange**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:**  
I'm so very glad to be back with BPOV. I love Carlisle, but _fuck_ he was long-winded. It wasn't difficult to type without cursing, but it felt strange. Restricting, in a way, while challenging me at the same time? Anyway, let me stop babbling and get onto the chapter…  
**Authors Note 3:**  
Not sure how realistic Charlie's reaction is. Based on how I see him… hopefully I do this well. For some reason, when I hear Charlie's voice in my head- he sounds like movie-Charlie with a dash of Lee Scorsby from 'The Golden Compass.' It amuses me, figured I'd share that with all of you.

**Playlist**  
grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
****Run Baby Run**- Garbage  
**Cherry Lips**- Garbage  
**Teasn', Pleasn'**- Shadows Fall  
**In This Together**- Apoptygma Berzerk  
**Sad Exchange**- Finger Eleven (Love this song so fucking much.)  
**Again**- Flyleaf  
**Bent-** Matchbox Twenty

**Bella's Point of View**

I was sitting in Edward's Volvo. Without him. Again. Oh dear fuck. Did he know how many driving accidents there were per year? I didn't. There were, however, six things I could think of right this moment that posed safety concerns. Of course. Of motherfucking course. Why was this so strange? I had driven other vehicles by myself before. The difference being, I really didn't want anything to happen to this car. I was thankful for avoiding accidents in the past, but it hadn't really mattered.

The one day had been fine. Now, another day later, Edward seemed to take great enjoyment in my terror. Why else would he insist I not drive my truck? Actually, the more operable question was- why didn't I just say screw it and take my truck anyway? Sexual deprivation? Edward swore it wasn't true, but I felt that he kept purposefully tormenting me with what we could do, if I'd just give in. All of this combined, I was about ready to scream. Sadly, not in pleasure.

It was windy, what if a tree branch fell? Seven things; the branch could fall _on_ the car or in _front_ of the car. What if I hit someone, a deer, another car? Time for some music, I needed to calm down or I'd be the cause of an accident. My credit was good, I could always buy him a new one.

With that thought, I started the car and immediately felt my phone vibrate. Charlie?

"Yeah, Dad. What's up?"

"I'm not going to be home until late tonight," he sighed heavily. "Head over to the Cullens if you can? There's a rogue bear on the loose. Stay inside, move all the trashcans. Our house is fine, I stopped by earlier to lock all of the windows and doors, not much good it would do."

"You have your extra gun? Ammo? Bear spray and tranquilizers?"

"I'm fine. Where are you?"

"The parking lot at school inside of a car, no windows open."

"Okay, well, leave soon. You'll be fine, the bear's not in your immediate area."

"Should I stay the night? We'll all probably crash around ten or eleven, especially since we need to wake up around six for school tomorrow."

"Uh…"

"I mean, I'll probably have dinner with them. If you're out by eight, you'll be here by nine, and it will be at least eleven before we get any sleep. I'm just thinking logically."

After our talk last night, I was really pushing the limits here. The more time Edward and I spent apart, the easier it would be to make him rest. Yet there was a small part of me that took any opportunity to be with him. Not so small considering it tended to win, a lot.

"Look, Bells, I can't really talk now. Uh-"

"Never mind, I'll see you later tonight. Sorry," I rested my forehead on the steering wheel and wished I could rewind time by two minutes.

"No, er, stay. Do your homework, have fun, go to _sleep_ early," his voice was sharp, but not at me. He really did need to go.

"I will. Thanks, Dad. Be careful, okay? Love you."

"Always. Drive safe and I love you, too."

We had gone over a lot in our last conversation. It had been really difficult phrasing my answers so that they were truthful, yet not detailed. Thankfully Charlie had felt just as awkward, perhaps even more so.

_ "Still mad at me?" Charlie was making grilled cheese sandwiches, some of my anxiety waned. He seemed just as worried about my reaction. Dinner was my responsibility and never had I seen him use an appliance aside from the microwave and coffee machine. _

"_No… are _you _angry?" _

"_Not especially." _

_ I dropped my stuff next to the couch and shrugged out of my jacket. Using my book as a cover, I wasted time by placing it within my book bag. Edward's hoodie had holes cut into the wrist's ribbing. I slid my thumbs through and made sure the fabric covered my knuckles. The hand warmers took care of that, but extra security never hurt. _

_ Charlie had already set the table so I poured a glass of soda for me and got him a beer. The silence wasn't particularly strained. Tense, yes, but his face wasn't red at all. _

"_Your boyfriend is smart, real quick." _

"_Uh, I agree," I watched him flip the sandwiches,_

"_I knew that boy liked you soon as I saw the two of you together. No flaming homosexual stands in front of a lady the way he did for you. Why it was necessary, well, that's for you to tell me when you're ready." _

"_Hospitals have always creeped me out." I thought 'street face' and tried to keep enough of me present so Charlie wouldn't sense anything unusual. He was paying attention to the food, it seemed. This would become a lot more complicated with him sitting in front of me. He was trained in this shit, his mental alarms were flashing, I could see them. _"_I think they gave me mild painkillers in the ambulance, maybe it was the head wound? They had a problem with the ramp and strapped me onto the gurney. I couldn't understand what was happening, everything was moving so slowly, you know?" _

"_Mmm…" he gave me a plate, served himself. _

"_Edward realized that I was freaking out and he stepped in to help. I was fine by the time we got to the office, right?" _

"_Define fine." _

"_Coherent," I substituted. "I went to school the next day without a problem." _

"_You shouldn't have," his eyebrow twitched. Uh-oh. _

"_Dad, I'm doing well, right? Classes are pretty easy for the most part and I self-educate on the side. Remember, you commented on all of the books I've been reading lately? I love it here, in Forks, and if anything bothered me, __I'd let you know." _

"_So nothing bothers ya, but you carry a knife around with you all the time?" _

_ I had learned to prepare myself for shocking Charlie revelations. That conditioning too, inadvertently, had been a useful skill to have._

"_I have two cans of pepper-spray courtesy of you. If they don't work, I have something for close range. You taught me that when I asked about your weapons." _

"_I was explaining to you why I carried two guns. I wasn't giving you life lessons, Bells. You were, what, ten? Do you have a gun hidden somewhere, too?"_

"_No," that wasn't a lie; things seemed to be going well. "Do you remember teaching me self-defensive and offensive maneuvers?" _

"_I wanted you to be able to handle yourself if there were ever an emergency." _

"_Right, so the knife fits in, no? There are weird animals up here, wolves and vultures. What if the pepper spray doesn't work on one of them? I can't drop-kick a wolf. The blade saves my life." _

"_Vultures?"_

"_They're creepy. You know, their name in Latin means tearer? Its wingspan is six feet long, Dad. They were bigger than me. They all roost together… I'm keeping my knife, thanks." _

"_When did you see them like that?" _

"_I went for one of my walks a long time ago, got a little lost. It wasn't difficult to find my way back, I took a different route. … and there they were. I ran home, showered, and read for the rest of that day." _

"_Ohh yea," he rubbed his chin. "You came tearing into the house like the hounds of hell were after ya yelling something about Snow White. Now I understand." _

_ I flushed, he tried to hold back laughter and failed miserably. That part of the memory hadn't stayed with me. _

"_Sorry," he had finally caught his breath. _

"_Glad I could clear that up for you."_

"_Keep the knife," Charlie sighed. "I just worried that you felt threatened somehow. If Edward was pushing you for more than… well, you know. _Do _you know? This is strange with me being your father and all, but… uh, are you still, um, …?" _

"_Yes." I hastened to add before he could finish his statement._

_ My dark side roared in caustic laughter before the sound faded away. My smile was real, I saw Charlie relax immediately. I wouldn't share this with him, but the reason I looked so confident in my answer had to do with Edward. Again. He made me feel as though nothing in my past mattered. Good or bad, for survival or fun, he had accepted everything I said and still called me pure. Edward had filled me in on more of the details concerning their talk together. Innocent, indeed._

"_And you don't plan on… exploring more with Edward?" _

"_Not anytime in the near future." That really wasn't a lie. There were some things I couldn't tell my father. If I had to white lie a little, without really lying at all, to make him feel better? Why not? I wouldn't want to hear details about his dates, if he ever went on one. I'd know what went on, but I definitely wouldn't think about it. Nothing needed to change, Edward and I were careful. I had researched abortion clinics in Washington just in case, and I had money enough to cover the fee. _

_ Having gone through Edward's medicine cabinets, I found two boxes of pregnancy tests. There were also six single-serving packets of morning after pills. They, apparently, were precautionary. Their shelf life was twenty-four months, Edward was covered in more ways than one. If we ever, holy fuck, had any accidents, it was nice to know I had, at most, five days in which to use one of those little white pills. _

"_What did you guys talk about?" _

"_A bunch of things," Charlie evaded. "Fishing- he's thinking about entering a medical career like Carlisle. If not, he said he'll look into corporations and work his way up from there." _

_ I really wanted to believe Edward meant those things. The last time this topic had been broached, he had wanted to be a body-guard. _

"_Does that bother you?" _

"_No," he mused. "Not at all." _

_ Truth or not, playing the Doctor card had been a nice touch. Nothing said security better than money, and the promise of accumulating it. The Cullens were very obviously wealthy, but I felt just as comfortable with Edward here as I did at their house. This was where I lived, I was proud of it. _

"_Er, one more issue?" _

"_Yeah?" I asked, warily. _

"_Your clothes-"_

"_What's wrong with them?" Oh no, oh no, oh no. He was going to make me get rid of them. Which outfits had he seen? I had been so careful not to expose him to the more adult choices. I shouldn't have been wearing them at all, true. With Edward walking around emanating sex, I felt the need to look my best. _

_ Charlie surprised me by laughing again., "you're all up in arms now." _

"_Compared to when?" _

"_Never mind," he chuckled. "Just… it is winter, Bells." _

"_Sure, no problem." _

_ Good, I'd be able to keep my outfits so long as I wore them carefully. Some of my boots would need to be retired. I had a feeling my corsets wouldn't pass inspection, either. Whatever, if anything I'd be able to visit some favorite online sites, maybe a few of Alice's. It was time I update my wardrobe to a 'less promiscuous- more subtly sexy' trend._

"_One last thing and then… I trust you to use good judgment," he leaned back in his chair though we were still making regular eye-contact. "Edward's not- I, uh, looked into- I worry that all of this is too extreme for you right now. Not just for you." _

"_Extreme?" _

"_Phoenix wasn't a good place for you," he paused a second and I knew it was because he hated the thought of me there. "The first day you went to school here, you landed yourself in the hospital. Edward rushes to help you, feelings were bound to develop."_

"_He didn't _rush _to help me. I wasn't dying, Dad. For awhile I thought he hated me."_

"_If I'd been patrolling around your school, Edward would have gotten a serious fine. His license could have been revoked. Do you know how long it takes to get from the school to that hospital?" _

"_Not really, no," there was that feeling again, that giddy happy feeling that I'm sure was the opposite of what Charlie was trying to accomplish._

"_Twenty minutes, tops. Edward beat the damn ambulance, he made it there in there in seven." _

"_How do you know that?" Now that I thought back, he had been there before I arrived. Alice had confirmed that, too. Son of a bitch._

"_I have my ways," he replied dryly. "Tell Edward to watch the speed limit, I have no problems with pulling him over."_

"_Duly noted, I'll pass that on."_

"_Bells, did you even meet any of the other guys in Forks?" _

"_A few of them." _

_ His pointed silence let me know I'd need to explain. _

"_Guys my age are usually immature. Their main talents lay in scoring a boob-grab by accident and guessing a girl's bra size by staring at their chest. Edward has never done anything like that, at least that I've noticed. He does open doors for me, though, which I find weird and sometimes annoying." _

_ All true. He would never resort to such pithy seduction tactics. It wasn't an issue anymore, I remembered the way he said 'mine' in so many different tones. _

"_And… no," he sighed having read my expressions. "Alright, not to go completely parental on you, but if your grades drop or there's any sign that the relationship is hurting you, I invoke rights to use _my _judgment about what to do. Without interference." _

"_Does my current curfew still stand? Will everything be normal now or is this going to weird you out? Edward and I _were _friends first, we didn't just dive into dating." _

"_A month," he raised his eyebrow. "Less than." _

"_Like you said," I was completely fishing. "We met under extreme circumstances. Therefore, we passed the whole acquaintance part and skipped straight to friendship. We were lucky enough to bypass the awkward conversations- like this one- and just… hang." _

"_Alice and Jasper 'hang' with you?" _

"_Yup, and more often than not either Carlisle or Esme are there. Its rare they not be, but we all manage to entertain ourselves. They're fun, I like Alice and Jasper a lot." _

"_Alright," he nodded, satisfied with the way things had concluded. "Nothing changes unless it needs to. Consider this talk done with." _

_ I opted to clean up based on the fact that his game was starting, and because he had cooked. The sandwiches hadn't been bad. How he had managed to make such a mess with a few pieces of bread, some bacon, and cheese… _

_ The rest of my apprehension cleared when I settled on the couch to do homework. He glanced over at me, smiled, and turned his attention back to the game. This was nice, good. I might not have gone into share-mode with Charlie, but he knew more about me than before. His reactions could have been a lot worse, I appreciated that he respected my decisions. _

Then a rabid bear took away my nice, safe, evening at home with Dad. In fact, Charlie had told me to stay at the Cullen's house. Before I freaked out even more about driving, I needed to know where to go.

The phone rang twice before Edward picked up. "You okay?"

I smiled at Edward's instant alarm, "Yes, everything's fine. Charlie called and said there was a rabid bear on the run. Mind if I hang with you guys for awhile? I'll help bear-proof the house."

"Already done, Esme and Carlisle are at the hospital helping."

"Cool, thanks. Mind if I keep you on speaker while I'm driving?"

"Feel free, I'll wait to smoke with you," I heard him rolling. "Since you can only verbally attack me…"

"Yes?"

"I don't care how you talk to other people, but if you've got a favor to ask of me? Don't ask."

"Beg pardon?"

"Like just now, you asked if you could come over. Then you added that you'd help us? Stop doing that."

"Being courteous?"

Having just gotten off the phone with Charlie helped. I heard Edward laugh, the sound nearly caused me to shudder. Two days had passed now, one more to go if I stopped fighting. Five if I could summon the willpower to restrain myself.

'From what, Bella?'

"Jumping him."

"Jumping whom?"

I wanted to smack myself in the forehead. What the fuck was wrong with me? Once I was behind the wheel, it was deep contemplation time. My habit of talking to myself was getting out of control.

"Bella?"

"It was my Ipod," I fabricated. "This song makes me want to jump someone, you know? Throw down."

"Yeah, okay," I knew he was smiling.

"Pulling up at your house now, thanks for keeping me company. See? I do like you."

No goodbye needed, we both hung up. Good, now that the car was back in his garage, I knew there was a cover somewhere. … ha, there it is.

"Don't even think about it," Edward stood in the doorway.

"Would you have?"

"You up against that wall, right the fuck now? Hell yes."

"Edward-"

"Do you have any idea how fucking hot you looked getting out of my car? One leg, the fucking hair flip…"

"It wasn't even that serious."

"Want me to prove it to you?" He thread his fingers through the belt loop right next to his zipper. My eyes automatically followed the gesture and I flushed, Edward was probably going commando. Warm, rough, he was hard for _me_…

"No need," I sidled away from him.

"I disagree."

"Where's Alice?"

"With Jasper, in her room," he hit a button to close the garage doors.

"Really? Let's go say hi, or _I_ should go say hello because its been awhile since I really talked to Alice, you know? It'd be good to catch up…" I hated that I was retreating.

"Bella, I don't think she wants to be interrupted right now."

The kitchen door was at my back, I fumbled behind me, all grace lost as Edward stalked toward me. Did I want to find the doorknob? Not really. Should I? Hell yes, or Edward was going to take me right the fuck here. I glanced over at his motorcycle and saw him smirk.

My fingertips brushed against wood, smooth metal; should I pretend I hadn't found it? No, I turned the handle and nearly fell into the fucking room. Catching myself on one of their small tables, I turned to find Edward staring at my ass.

"I'm fine, really," I sarced.

"Bend back over the table, grab the opposite end."

"This is what you're like after two days?" I purposefully walked away from him and toward the refrigerator. My legs didn't shake, I was proud of myself. I took out two bottles of beer, one of each kind.

"I'd stop if I knew you weren't thinking about it, too."

"I'd stop thinking about it if you'd cease giving me your sex-looks." Every time I passed that damn table, I would have Edward's mental imagery in my head. Bastard.

"Which one turns you on the most?" He leaned back against the counter.

"I'll tell you in an hour," I had a plan.

"Why the time-frame?"

"You love a challenge with goals," I handed him a beer. "And its an easy question, I know you want the answer."

"What if my new goal was to _make_ you tell me?"

"I'd probably say what was on my mind in that moment, not what I'm thinking now."

He studied me carefully with narrowed eyes. Had I bested him?

"No comeback, babe?" I smirked.

"First person to chug their beer gets free reign for the rest of the night."

"Oh, Edward. Seriously? This is what we've been reduced to?"

"Fine," he took my bottle and twisted the cap off. "You win, alright? You've got an hour before I take things back under control."

"Thank you," I clinked my drink against his.

Either I was getting wittier or Edward was letting me win more often. Never would I ever have thought to see him accede so quickly.

"So what do we do for the next fifty-eight minutes?"

"Uh, I hadn't planned that far… homework?"

"We did that yesterday," he scoffed.

"You know it refreshes each day, right?"

"We're going to smoke," Edward decided. "I haven't been properly high since the last time you were here."

Yesterday I had stopped by Edward's house, thanks to a quick call from Charlie saying he wouldn't be home until five. Sure… he just didn't to face me when I was still mad. We hadn't smoked, though, because I wouldn't be straight enough to drive. Edward never pushed that issue with me, I always appreciated that. So many people had called me paranoid, made fun of me for wanting to be fucking safe when it came to my addictions.

"What about the morning you had me pick you up in the Volvo?" "That was a really fucking weird day," he grabbed another two bottles before I could stop him. "Charlie fucking ambushed me… doesn't even count."

"You know I'm sorry about that, right? He and I had a long talk, which resulted in a lot of compromising," I opened the bedroom door for him.

"Such as?"

He fiddled with his Ipod, music came on after a few minutes. Good, I wasn't in the mood for television, I wanted to absorb the songs and chill. He had been reading before I called, my book was next to one of his pillows.

"Guys?" Alice knocked lightly.

"We're about to blaze. You're welcome to join, Jay?" He spoke loudly so they could hear him on the other side.

"Thank you," Jasper opened the door and leaned against the door frame, "but I'll have to decline. We're going to Port Angeles."

"Now?"

"There's a movie we want to see," Alice shrugged. "Its one bear, right? We'll be in town with far more protection than there is here."

"I disagree," Edward said.  
"Not by a long shot, honey," Jasper spoke at the same time.

"You're taking her out with a rabid bear wandering around?"

Jas grinned at me. "Got two guns in my truck that can handle bears."

"Two?" Edward glanced over sharply.

"Yep, one under the drivers seat, another in the back. I was heading home, you know, in Texas? Heard a snapping snarl sound that made my skin crawl. A big ol' cat is staring at me in the darkness. Unlike bears, you don't run from a fuckin' mountain lion. My truck was right behind me, the cat was in front of me. I've no idea how I moved that fuckin' fast, but I got in, started the engine, and got the hell outta there 'fore she could move."

"Wow," Alice hugged his arm.

"Yeah, well, I was damn lucky," he looked embarrassed at being caught unprepared. "I invested in a gun after that. Doesn't hurt to be prepared. Shooting a puma through the heart isn't hard, a bear's got muscle… one shot wouldn't do it. I had to go for more power."

"Such as?"

".44 Remington Magnum, revolver."

"That'd do it," Edward laughed.

Talk about more power, Jasper had bought serious weaponry. He could take an elephant down with that shit, let alone some little brown bear.

"You've taken the gun for a test run?"

"Yes, Bella," he replied dutifully. "I don't keep any weapon until I _know_ it won't fail me."

"I second that," Alice smiled. "Jas let me fire a good number of rounds."

With that, I felt much better. Jasper was trustworthy, I liked him a lot as a friend. Part of me, a very small part, had really been worried about the guns. It was no longer a concern, not with the way they looked at one another.

"Let you? You gave me a run for my money," he and Edward shared a look. "Dead on target almost every damn time."

"That was a lot more fun than fishing would have been," Alice grinned at me. "Do you guys want to catch a movie with us? Its not a romantic chick-flick, no worries."

"No thanks," Edward interjected before I could say anything. "Another day, okay? We've got plans."

I should have spoken up to get us out of the house, away from his bed. His bedroom. Actually, where we were didn't matter at all. Anything so that wouldn't be alone, with an entire night to kill.

"Mhmm," Alice looked that the blunt meaningfully.

"Drive safe, keep an eye out, don't hesitate to shoot something that's attacking you." Wait, what? No! I should accept the offer! … ah, well. Too late now.

"Sage advice, wise Bella," Jasper half-bowed with a charming smile in place.

"Damn Southerners," I rolled my eyes. "Work on seducing Alice. You can't turn my head, cowboy."

Knowing that she would want a hug, I got up and met her halfway. Alice really liked displays of affection. I flirted with Jasper, true, but everyone knew that it didn't mean anything. Jas was a natural at it, we were friends. There was nothing wrong with a little playful banter. I wouldn't do anything to break them up, ever. We never even touched the line between fine and sexually inappropriate.

I liked the way the two of them interacted. Their relationship was normal and it worked for them. They held hands, whispered with one another. I hadn't seen Alice be anything but happy and excited when his name came up. Sometimes she looked a little dreamy-eyed. I hope that my face never carries an expression like that.

"Wait!" I said before Edward could breathe out.

Edward froze, the smoke was still in his lungs after the first hit. I quickly closed our distance now that Jasper and Alice were gone. Not wanting my idea to become sexual, I leaned over and kissed him rather than straddling him as I had been imagining. He aligned his lips over mine and gently blew smoke into my mouth. I sat cross-legged on the bed, smiled at him, and then exhaled.

"Thanks. The first drag's always the best."

"First is the warmup, second's better."

I took the blunt from him and followed his advice. Getting it directly from the source, I nearly choked as the strength of the pot crashed through me. He waited a moment while I adjusted before stealing some from me, in the same way I had. It was only fair, so much for not turning him on. This must have been the rest of what he'd been smoking that morning. There was plenty left, and another rolled on his bedside table. I really needed to get off my ass and order him a pipe.

"Think I should add more? Does it look skimpy to you?" He had noticed me looking.

"Skimpy?" I laughed, "Uh… no?"

"Alright," he handed ours back to me, lighter included. Everything else went back into his bed stand. "Now that Newton's business has been taken care of, I get weed free of charge. Not the shitty stuff of the past, either."

"Nothing you bought from him was ever bad." He was still doing something within the drawer, but I didn't know what. All of his rummaging had stopped.

He glared at me, "You're taking this hundred dollars before you go."

"Ah, so you finally found it?"

"Why did you put it inside of a book? I'm lucky to have found it at all."

"So, uh, you didn't look inside of the other ones in there?" It would be worse if he found the rest later, right? He seemed to be rather pissed about the hundred dollars. If I omitted the other bills I had hidden in the drawer… it was good to come clean now?

"Son of a bitch," he swore. Edward took the entire drawer out of his beside table and dumped it out on the bed. I helped him search, knowing where everything was. By the time we were done, nearly three hundred dollars lay on his covers. I had only used one hundred dollar bill, the rest were fifties or twenties.

"I wanted to contribute," I defended myself. "You wouldn't take money, I obviously didn't miss it. This shit's got to have been expensive. At sixty dollars a week, though I'm sure we smoke more than that between the two of us… I wanted to pay for my share."

"Didn't I say that wouldn't be necessary?"

"Yes, but I _told _you it bothered me, free-loading."

Edward went quiet, thinking. He automatically placed his hand on the book I reached for preventing me from hiding the bills inside.

"I don't pay Mike anymore. You don't need to, either."

"Fine," I agreed with that, it made sense.

"Take the cash with you."

"No."

"Bella-"

"Its been here the _whole time_, and you didn't know about it until now. Do I look broke to you? No. You know I've saved up. Let it go."

"Ask me how much I'm worth monetarily," he took a deep breath, let it go.

"How much cash have you accumulated in the bank or otherwise?" I refused to judge someone by how much money they had. People's worth came from what they believed in, how they conducted themselves in relation to others. Their checking or savings account had nothing to do with them, as individuals.

"Over thirty-thousand dollars. More if you count what I didn't deposit."

I sat, stunned. That was a fuck-load more than I had saved up. The guys I dealt with hadn't been in anything official. I hardly ever dealt with any of the major gangs everyone was so concerned about. That was where all of the _real_ profit lay.

"I've got about ten grand hidden in that closet over there. Blood money, no one knows about that but you. If I ever needed it, I could call favors in and get fifty more."

"Fifty _thousand_?"

"Easy."

Holy fuck. What the- Edward was only nineteen! How the fuck… "Who did you run with?"

There were five main gangs that I knew about spread across the United States. Edward had lived in New York, if I could find out where he stayed, I'd be able to pinpoint which territory was owned and by whom.

"No details," he took the blunt from my numb fingers. "Needless to say, it was profitable for the most part."

"What did you do?

"Anything if it paid well enough. I never took any hits or dealt with anyone high ranking within, you know? Still, I knew my shit. They didn't walk all over me. I got the cash, walked, kept my mouth shut."

"Hits," I echoed. "As in… person A pays person B to kill person C?"

"Uh, yeah, that's what a hit is," he snorted. "Person B usually gets taken out, too."

"How are you here?"

Edward hadn't been in a wanna-be gang. If they were stable enough to be paying for others death, they were dangerous and probably more so now. No one walked away from gangs like that, you were either in or out, for life. Loyalty was sworn, colors were worn…

He looked uncomfortable, "I, um, survived for five minutes with some of their best. When it was over, I swore to forget everything I had seen, learned. I've no doubt they'd find me if word ever got back to them that I talked."

I agreed, people like that didn't fuck around. He was lucky to have left alive. I knew of a gang that shot people wanting to leave. Not shooting to kill, but did it really matter? Five minutes was a really fucking long time. In what condition had he walked away? Had he been able to walk, period? Pain lanced through me for everything Edward had faced in his life. He had handled everything so fucking masterfully. Surviving foster homes, protecting Alice, making so much money… he had done well for himself despite the circumstances. Talk about strength of will. I still, however, felt broken inside for how much he had suffered.

"Are you safe from them here?"

Edward hadn't smoked yet. He was holding the blunt, rolling it with his fingers. "All of that shit ended the day I walked away. They wouldn't have let me go if they thought I posed a threat to them. You?"

"Same. I'd help out if there were a fight, they'd come stand with me if anyone tried something shitty. I was never one of them like Rosalie became. My thing had more to do with drugs. I associated with a bunch of different people for that, my interest wasn't fixed with any one group."

"What does that mean? You were in more than one gang? I don't fucking believe it, do you know how much danger-"

"I freelanced." It was time to interrupt him, he was working himself up over nothing. "When dealing with everyone who, basically, wanted the same thing… no one fucked with me. I had solid contacts. I got good enough, some of them hired me to do odd jobs around Phoenix, drug related."

Edward groaned, ran a hand across his face.

"I was really careful about absolutely every job I took. If it were too risky, I had no problem turning it down. There were always people willing to do what I wouldn't. Money is money, y'know? My winning personality won them over."

Telling him that the times I had refused jobs were slim to none probably wouldn't be good. He was edgy, holding back what he wanted to say. I knew he wanted to yell and curse, maybe throw shit around. He could be angry, but there was no changing the past. Knowing that, however, didn't change the fact that his stories made me want to go on a cheerful killing spree. Starting with his dad, I would work my way up until everyone except his family, now, was eradicated. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible. I had to bury the agony his memories caused me and do my best to be here for him. It meant a lot to me that he trusted me so deeply, that I felt no hesitation in sharing similarly horrific tales with him.

We were both impulsive, reckless, and hot-tempered. I had to tone down my anger around him, and even then only when the emotion pertained to something I couldn't change. He probably wouldn't have cared, but I didn't want him to mistake my feelings for pity. Edward was relaxed enough to talk about his past, but he, like me, still felt defensively about things we had done out of necessity.

When I felt cornered, my first reaction was to lash out. A lot of our earlier fights had been because of the odd ways he phrased things. He didn't ask so much as demand answers. It had taken awhile to stop snapping at him every time he asked me something. I took time to think about what he said to me before replying. Things were a lot more peaceful, especially now that Edward knew about the problem and worked with me to prevent screaming matches.

"That's why you have so many scars, right?"

"You have more," I pointed out. "Besides, I had no single loyalty. I worked for myself, on my terms, and I made my rules stick. I have people who are still watching out for me. I live with the Chief of Police. We own a small arsenal of weapons between us. Jasper has at least two guns... I think we'll be okay."

"Mmm." He snapped back to himself, took a drag of the blunt.

"So, you're loaded," I moved back so my back was resting against the wall. "Why disclose that information? It doesn't matter to me."

"It should."

"Why?"

"Alice didn't tell you? Carlisle or Esme didn't let that fact slip?"

"No… I mean, I knew you guys were wealthy. Have you seen this house? Your stuff? You have a television, stereo, a motorcycle and a car. Your Ipod holds a lot of songs, you've got damn speakers for it."

"Yet you left me money."

"What's wrong with that? Just because you have it doesn't mean that you need to spend it. Especially when I can afford to hold my own." I didn't know what he was feeling, his expression was weird. He was desperately studying me as though answers to his internal questions could be found in my appearance. I met his eyes and let him look.

"You remember when I told Jessica Stanley that I don't date?"

"I'll never forget it," I smiled at the memory. "She wanted you and wasn't happy that we were already friends."

In fact, Edward had left her to walk over to me. I'd never forget her shock and outrage upon understanding that I would be spending the evening with Edward and Alice, not two days into the school year. Apparently getting an invite, from Edward, was nearly impossible. Getting a ride to school with him had been a huge deal, too. Now I was driving his car. So many things had changed in such a short time frame.

"Before you, I had two other girlfriends. Not that I can really call them girlfriends," he scoffed. "They were the closest I came to a real relationship before I swore off them all together."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

He exhaled, passed the blunt to me again. We were almost done, I was doing pretty well. Whatever stories Edward was about to share couldn't be good ones. If they had staunched his want for girlfriends, yea, something really fucked up had happened. It had been a long time since we used alcohol and weed as buffers for our conversation. There hadn't been any need. Now, on the other hand, Edward was digging really deep. Time for some substance abuse. If he expected me to go through my dating history, fuck, we'd need more than beer.

"Do you remember the details about all of my foster homes?"

"Of course."

"Okay," he sighed, leaning back against his pillows. "Well, my second home wasn't fantastic. There was a girl in the neighborhood that, I thought, liked me. Don't judge, I was really fucking young. Stupid, too."

"I won't, you weren't. What was her name? Where did you live?"

With those two facts, I could find her. Charlie had resources, I'd track whomever had hurt Edward and beat the shit out of them. It was a girl, he wouldn't have hurt her. I had no difficulty punching a female in the face.

"Uh… no," I had made him laugh. "I was in New York at the time. That's all I'm telling you, I don't like the look on your face."

"Sorry," I felt myself flush. Time for a cigarette.

"Don't be," he handed me one, already lit. "She gave me a place to stay, food to eat. And, er... she was the first to fuck me. It wasn't a bad arrangement. She had her own space, shared it with me once a week. I really liked it there. The couch was damn comfortable, you know?"

A little time passed in which he zoned out, remembering. I didn't know what to say.

"All of that ended when I moved. She had a boyfriend, anyway. I was her… whatever. _He_ was the one she loved. You know, she said the words to me? Whenever she'd leave to shower, she would always tell me she loved me best. I was the best fuck she had, and she paid me well for it."

"Wait, wait. She paid you to sleep with her? How old were you again?"

"You and your preoccupation with ages," he smiled hollowly at me. "Thirteen. We never _slept_ together."

"Bitch!" Whoops, judging from Edward's self-loathing, he had loved her. "You were _thirteen_?"

"Shit happens," he replied. "She wasn't that much older, anyway. Four or five years, tops. I got more out of that bargain than her, its not a big deal."

I couldn't argue that with him, not with the logic he judged things by. Privately, I wanted to find this person and tear her to shreds. Thirteen year old Edward, thinking she was his girlfriend. She had made him sleep on the couch? After fucking him when he was so young, which was illegal in every state that I knew of, she had lied about loving him? What the motherfucking-? That's the last thing he needed! His home life was hell, there wasn't anyone to take care of him… she made him into a prostitute? Worse, what if Edward had set the price?

"Was that… arrangement your idea?"

"No," he downed half of his beer. "She invited me over and shared her food with me the first time. When she asked if I wanted to learn more about the world from a woman who knew it well… why the fuck not, right?"

"Sure?"

"Exactly," he agreed without hearing my sarcasm. "She gave me fifty dollars, which got me through the week, and toward the end, if I had to sneak out when her boyfriend showed up, she'd give me eighty."

"Wow."

"Yeah, that was a lot back then," he tossed the empty bottle into his trashcan.

There were so many questions I'd never get answers to. What had she looked like? Why had she used him like that, didn't she know how fucked up her actions had been? What was her fucking name? Thinking about anyone Edward had slept with was unpleasant enough, let alone with people who didn't deserve to exist. I had gone into this relationship knowing his reputation with women. It bothered me a little, but provided he didn't become bored with me- I worried a little about that, too- we were fine.

"Her name was Irina." He glanced at me and I saw him eye my untouched beer. I passed it to him and really wanted to see a real smile. The ones he'd been giving me hurt. They were cynical and bitter for all of the wrong reasons! He should be cynical and bitter because people had abused him, not because he had fallen in love! Edward so easily shouldered the blame in every situation that resulted with him in pain.

He seemed to think it was his fault for being so, what had he said? Stupid and young. Years later, that's what he had learned from that situation? So long as the benefits outweighed their douchebaggery, he had won. She wasn't to be held accountable because of everything he had received?

Would I want him ripping me open over some of the decisions I had made? There were a lot of things I had been able to justify over the years. Edward's reactions to some of them were to be expected, but he never made me feel like a horrible person. He had accepted everything that happened. Who was I to go breaking down his shields? It took a lot of courage for him to speak so easily about these things. If he thought, for one second, that I disapproved of him… he wouldn't trust me anymore. Then he'd stop talking to me.

I moved toward him on the bed and propped myself up on the pillows like he had. My head was a little lower than his, but the position worked. His ribs were safe, and he could hold the beer on his stomach without fearing I'd knock it over. He relaxed marginally when I rested my hand on his free arm.

"Carmen, she was the second. I was sixteen, before you ask."

He tensed for a second, took another long drink from the bottle. I declined when he offered it to me. Things like that made hearing his stories that much more difficult. Lost in bad memories, he still anticipated my wants and needs.

"She was a new working girl, I hadn't known that at the time. The reason I have so much money is because Elizabeth Masen took out a life insurance plan. I'm not sure how she had it done, when she applied, but my bank account had thirty-thousand in it."

"It helped, right? You and Alice had some semblance of financial security?"

"Yeah. I knew it wouldn't last long, especially not after…" he sighed. "Back to Carmen. I liked her, she was a pretty cool chick. Details aside, I ended up helping her get a place. I didn't live with her or anything, but considering I had put the money down, Alice and I were over a lot."

"Better than being wherever you were at the time?"

"Still New York, I really fucking hate it there," he extinguished his cigarette violently.

I took his now-unoccupied hand and twined my fingers with his. Sappy, yes, but he didn't seem to mind. There wasn't much else I could do to show that I was here for him. He wasn't telling me so I'd fawn over him and promise to make it all go away. I couldn't banish his memories, but I hoped my presence made them easier to remember. Things that hurt when I was alone weren't so bad if I talked them through with Edward. I knew that he spoke with accompanying motions so I moved my hand underneath his. If this was awkward or uncomfortable, he'd be able to move.

"Her pimp started coming back around. I told him to fuck off. Physically once, but she fucking took him back. I've no idea what happened to her after that. I was done with the whole thing."

"You got her an apartment and she took another guy back?"

"He wasn't a guy," Edward said quietly, viciously. "I'm not talking about the 'older gentleman' that helps younger women. No, he beat her, made her fuck guys she didn't like. When I told him not to come around anymore, he listened for awhile. I moved her the fuck out of her hotel room and into a crappy apartment. It wasn't a fucking cockroach infested piece of shit room, but it wasn't high-class Manhattan, either."

He looked so disgusted with himself. His eyes were gray and turbulent, I could feel the tension in his arm and body.

"Rent was three hundred a month, I paid up for the fucking year. Why the fuck not, right? I had the money and it wasn't a huge fucking deal. I had only known her for about a month, but that motherfucker kept stopping by. Rather than deal with him- if she couldn't be found, he'd have to leave her be, right?"

"Presumably…"

"She wasn't having any luck finding a job. I didn't have the fucking time to watch after her. Alice and I were hiding, using fake names," he took a moment to finish the second beer.

"But you got her a place?"

"She had a bank account, I gave her the cash. Everything was in her name to protect her from that son of a bitch. And then she gave him a way to find her. I couldn't risk a paper-trail so Alice and I paid for everything with cash. I never touched my account, they'd find withdrawal information."

Street-smart and educationally smart, at sixteen Edward had known enough to keep them hidden for years. Why the fuck had that been necessary? The world wasn't a fucked up enough place?

"The hotels I took Alice to were nice. Not a 'Hilton,' but people weren't going at it loud enough for us to hear. They thought we were a couple or some shit," he shrugged his shoulders uneasily. "The fake I.D's put us over eighteen years old and we looked it."

"So you guys rotated between places?"

"Yeah, and we stayed with Carmen. She hated that. It bugged the shit out of me, y'know? What was I supposed to do? I wasn't going to fuck her with Alice present and I sure as hell didn't feel like going at it with her screaming at me all the time."

And I had thought it couldn't get worse after Irina.

"Then that asshole was coming back around, he wasn't getting anywhere fucking near Alice. So we went back to the hotels. Fuck her. We spent entire days watching television, laying around, ordering meals. Fucking great. I fucking love room-service. "

"What's your favorite thing to eat?" That had been abrupt. Whatever, I wasn't going to retract it now. We needed a short change of topic before one of us snapped.

He paused, quirked an eyebrow. "At what time during the day?"

"I don't care, pick one," I laughed at his question. There it was! He smiled! A sexy crooked grin that tinged his somber gray eyes with amused blue.

"For breakfast… eggs sunny-side up, sausage links on the side. Toast with butter and jelly. Hash browns, too, can't forget those."

"Eggs? Gross. Pancakes with fruit rock the world. Next?"

"Lunch? I don't eat it that often. Do cigarettes and soda count?"

"Probably not, but I'm not usually in the cafeteria so… yea, why not."

"We're fixing that from now on," he squeezed my hand. "Dinner's difficult. It's one of the most important meals of the day, you know?"

"I thought that was breakfast."

"No way. What's more important to you than dinner?"

"What you eat as a snack before bed." I smiled, "curled up with a book or good movie, the right ice-cream or cake or whatever really settles the day for me."

"Is this a common thing for you?"

"Kind-of… I'm not scared of food." Was he suggesting I ate too much? I had gained some weight. I was now in the average range of the body mass index calculator. Being underweight had been a situational hazard. I didn't starve myself for vanity's sake.

"I wasn't fucking _judging_ you," he said, exasperatedly. "You never said anything. We have ice cream and stuff Esme makes here, I would have gotten something for you. _Say_ something next time, what the _fuck_."

"You made sandwiches the other day, I didn't have to ask."

"Did that, uh, 'settle the day' for you?"

"Yeah," I reassured him. "They really did. I interrupted you, though. What about dinner?"

"Steak," he laughed. "Add mashed potatoes, biscuits, corn on the cob with butter and salt. Oh my fucking god, I'm hungry. Want something?"

"Tell me where, I'll go get it."

"Nope, come with me," he climbed off the bed only wincing a little. Not letting go of my hand, he helped me down. Only when we reached his door did we separate, it was easier to maneuver this way. "If I hear you say anything about replacing food, making more, or feeling bad, I'll flip the fuck out."

"Fine. If you object when I carry everything back to the room…"

"That was my plan," he smiled mischievously. "I'll grab some more beer, two redbulls, and the bottle of Jagger if you want it?"

"Nah, beer's fine. I don't want to be baked _and_ drunk, not if your parents will be home soon."

"We've got all night, babe. And guess what?"

"What?"

"Your hour's been up for a long time now..."

**..**

My body felt heavy, alive. It was as though my pulse had sped up _and _slowed down. The room was burning hot, freezing, then numbness pervaded for a few seconds. I laughed, heard the sound echo in my head.

I glanced over at Edward. His eyes were so _green._ Like what emerald and jade would look like mixed together. Little cerulean flecks were thrown in, all of that framed with long dark eyelashes, it was absolutely fucking amazing. He was so fucking… beautiful, and he'd kick my ass if I ever told him so.

He had such a nice profile. I loved his cheekbones. The wound near his eye, courtesy of Jasper, was nearly healed. The scratch on his lip, too, was all but closed. There was still bruising near the bottom left of his jaw, I followed it down to where it disappeared under his chin. What the fuck was that? I squinted, not wanting to scoot closer to him. He would probably think I had lost it, staring at him like a loon. A very thin line of white scar tissue ran across his throat.

"Where the fuck is that from?" Whoops. _That _had been said aloud, probably pretty loudly. I felt myself blush. How strange, my face tingled. I could feel my teeth.

"Garotte," Edward panted. He didn't look well at all. No wonder I could see all of his scars. His skin was really, really pale.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

"I've felt this before," he closed his eyes. "You need to get the fuck out of here."

He was upset, perspiration had dotted on his forehead. Edward clenched and unclenched his fists, held his breath and released it in a long sigh. I felt slow, everything seemed to be moving at half speed. I could hear him clearly, but I didn't seem capable of concentrating for very long. There was so much to look at, to feel. The covers were so fucking soft! He had chosen such vibrant colors in which to decorate his room. Dark, but not gloomy, I mentally laughed, same as Edward.

"I should have fucking recognized it yesterday," he groaned. "There's something wrong with that fucking weed."

"What happened yesterday?"

"I used a little. Wanted to try it, you know?" He swallowed hard, ran a hand across his face. "I had a dream, what the fuck ever. I kept having these weird fucking hallucination things. They didn't last long, its not as though I haven't heard them before. I should have seen it sooner, _goddamnit" _

"Edward, I have no idea what you're talking about." He had been having hallucinations? Wasn't that something he should have told me? And what the fuck was he saying about hearing things?

"Laced weed. PCP, I'm sure. You've gotta get the fuck out."

"No, I'm not leaving you," I needed to remember something. It was important. Charlie had made me repeat it twenty times so I'd never forget.

"Bella, I've felt- I've gone through this before. Exactly this, it wasn't good."

"Call 911 if there's ever an emergency. If someone you know is hurt, if there's a fire, if you're lost- call 911." I giggled to myself, that's what he had drilled into my head every day since I learned how to speak.

"Don't do that," he picked my phone up from the ground and pocketed it.

Did he really think that would stop me from getting it back? I could always reach into his pocket, feel around a little. I'm sure my phone would turn up, eventually. We hadn't fucked yet because of his ribs and I was really tired of waiting. He kept insisting he was fine… _No, Bella. Snap the fuck out of it! Edward needs you. _I needed him. Not like this, I stared at him again. The arousal coursing through me faded, there was something really fucking wrong going on.

"Only call 911 if you start grinding your teeth." He leaned back against the wall and put an arm over his face. I could see him making an effort to breathe deeply. My body obviously approved, I instinctively matched my breathing to his. He seemed to know what was going on, I was just along for the ride. "End of Carlisle, it'll devastate Charlie. Alice, Jasper- fuck no. Don't fucking call anyone unless you really need to."

That made sense. I didn't ever want to grind my teeth. The thought sent a shiver up my spine. Up? Down? Fuck it. I made a new mental note and repeated it twenty times. 'Call 911 if you feel a spine shiver.' Hang on, no… that wasn't right…

"I was violent. Remembered bad shit, but, Bella, it felt so motherfucking _real._ They locked me in the bathroom, thank fuck. Get out!" His tone made me jump, I barely restrained myself from hitting him out of past habit. Jesus Christ, what the fuck was his problem? He got violent? Fuck that, I could handle him. I'd take him down if it was absolutely necessary. He wasn't going to go through _this_, whatever he was fucking worried about, all by himself.

I wasn't going anywhere. _I'd_ lock him in the bathroom if need be. Since I couldn't call anyone, I wouldn't abandon him. Maybe I could talk him down like he had for me at the hospital. My voice wasn't nearly as nice, but I had no control over that.

"How long did it last? What happened exactly?"

He looked past me at something near my shoulder. "Fuck you," he snarled.

I felt the first stirrings of fear; Edward saw something. In the space of two seconds I saw him shut down, his eyes went cold and gray. I was sobering up pretty quickly thanks to this highly stressful situation.

"Edward! Focus on _me_, talk to _me_."

He blinked rapidly, cursed. I made him turn so that we were facing one another on the bed. He allowed me to position his arms so that mine were underneath his. I gripped his arms and he did the same to me. We needed eye-contact. Curling up with him wouldn't help this time. He held onto me like a lifeline.

"Don't look away from me, okay? Concentrate."

"Yeah," he replied. "Okay. Uh, last time? About two hours, maybe?"

"How much did you smoke then?"

"A few joints. What about now? Where's the blunt?" His voice held a tinge of panic and fear was an all-present thing. I had never seen Edward afraid of anything.

"We only took out a quarter of it," I calmly drew his attention to the dresser.

"Fuck, I can't think. What does that equal? Why the fuck are you still here?"

"I can't drive like this," I kept my tone rational and light. "Do you want to send me away? What if I crashed? Think about your car."

"Fuck my car," he growled. "I don't care, don't drive. Go into Alice's room and sleep or something. Bella… please, you're not _safe_."

"You aren't going to hurt me. Say that in your head, any variation of it, so that you'll remember."

"Bella!"

"Do it!" I borrowed his authoritative tone, "You won't hurt me. Twenty times in your head. Now!"

He glared at me, but went quiet and relaxed his hold on my arms. This was stupid, it was risky- I should get the fuck out of here and practice some self-preservation. We were both drugged, thank fuck we hadn't touched any other alcohol. If Edward was right and Newton had fucked us over royally, there wasn't much we could do about it. We needed to make it through the next hour, at most, and proceed from there. If he flipped out, I'd have to call someone.

"Done," he took a shaky breath. "Don't care. Seriously, if anything happens to you because of me… I can't handle that."

"And what happens if you get hurt? You're being ravaged by memories and I'm off in Alice's room watching movies?"

"You see this tattoo? I didn't pick this off a fucking wall. This was in the fucking room with me! A hallucination, warning, whatever. I can't have you here if something like that happens again. Do you know how fucking terrifying that was?"

I put my hand flat against the Reaper on his arm. "If you see it again, I'll be here telling you its all in your imagination. You don't have to do this by yourself. Relax, breathe, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Can't relax," he started shaking. "Flashbacks happen." His eyes were unfocused again, he shuddered and I felt his arms trembling.

"Talk me through them. Don't stop talking, remember that I'm here and you're speaking to _me_. Okay?"

I had seen my share of bad trips. This, I had a feeling, was going to be one of the worst. Flashbacks, he had said. With all of the memories Edward shared with me, none of them had been anything but traumatizing.

He jerked to the side and only my reflexes prevented him from pulling away from me. Edward, for all of his anti-social behaviorisms, was a big fan of physical touch. When we faced Jacob, my hand on his back had kept him calm. I hoped that by feeling me next to him, seeing me in front of him- maybe things wouldn't be so bad? He still had my cell. In the worst case scenario I could use their home phone to call Carlisle.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. He's _home_. Fuck."

"I'm here, Edward," I shook him slightly. "He won't hurt you."

"Why is he back ? He goes out early, comes home with the yellow buses. He shouldn't be back yet. Oh god, fuck, fuck. Something's wrong. He won't go back out tonight."

"Who do you see?"

"Masen," he hissed the word, a mix between hatred and fear.

"He's dead, he can't hurt you. Masen _died_, Edward. He can't be here."

"Not here. There. Through the door, heavy footsteps. The fridge opens, a tab pops, he's _coming_."

Fuck this, it wasn't helping anymore. I practically crawled into his lap, wrapped myself around him. Anything to help stop his shaking. He didn't throw me off him as I expected, but he didn't seem to notice, either.

"I can't breathe, fuck. Fuck. Its so cold, everything hurts so _much_. Why doesn't he die? No one sees," his voice broke. I felt him clench the bed sheets in his fists, Edward wasn't going to cry. He looked too broken for that. Endless moments passed as we waited.

Then, abruptly, all of that changed. It was as though a switch had been flipped somewhere inside of him. All of his anxiety was gone, his face was unreadable. I felt ruthless energy and hostility pouring from him in waves. He glared viciously somewhere behind me. If he lunged up; would I be able to hold him down? Maybe? Probably? It would depend on how well Edward remembered the 'Don't hurt Bella' reminder.

"Do it then," he said fiercely. "Bastard. Coward."

"Oh my god." My face was wet. I was crying? It didn't matter. Watching Edward so closely had given me insight to what was going on in his reality. The terror had to do with Masen coming home, which made me remember his comment about not liking afternoons. Was that why?

He was looking up again. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what it was about the ceiling that kept drawing his attention. Then it dawned, he had only been ten at the time. Masen was full-grown, Edward would have been shorter than him.

"Edward, please. Please, come back to me. It's Bella, remember Bella Swan?

"Bella," he repeated my name hazily. "She makes the pain stop."

"What pain, Edward?"

"He's got a bat."

"Why does he have a bat?" I wondered how he could understand what I was saying. My voice was rough and hoarse because I wasn't allowing myself to sob. He needed me, I couldn't lose it now. The fucking tears kept falling and I knew that once this was over, Edward Cullen was going to have done what no other guy had done. He was going to make me cry for him. Tearing up was one thing, but it wasn't going to end there. Too much pain, feeling so helpless, unable to make things better for him… this was all playing in front of his eyes, right now, and I couldn't make it stop.

"His belt made me bleed. My back hit the lockers at school. Red blood, people asked questions. I had to lie. The bat isn't sharp, a lot of stuff isn't."

I should call someone. This was far beyond anything I had dealt with before. I trusted him not to hurt me, but if his hallucination took over he might think I was someone else. He had said that I made the pain stop, I didn't know what that meant.

Was it good or bad that he was answering my questions? He had done that before and things got worse because of it. If I got up, would Edward flip the fuck out?

Anyone official who could help wouldn't let me stay with him, I wasn't direct family. Carlisle and Esme loved him, but Edward had told me things that they didn't know. Alice would be there- Edward would hate himself, and maybe me, if she were to hear something he had done for her. What would Carlisle say? Everything would be torn apart. But what if I couldn't keep him calm? He was stronger than me, if he gave in to the drug, he could definitely do some serious damage to us both.

"Edward, _please_. I don't want to get you in trouble. You have to help me, I don't know what to do."

"Harder," he whispered into my neck. "You're in my head, it's a dream. I know where I am. It fades in and out. Pain in my chest, hurts so fucking good. Talk to me, don't stop."

My first reaction was to jump away from him, I was hurting his ribs with how hard I was holding him. I forced myself to wrap my legs around his waist, I moved up so that my fingers touched my elbows behind his neck. His voice was so strange, it really scared me that he was so far gone that he was physically here, but not.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry all of this happened to you."

I wasn't thinking, just speaking as he had asked. Whatever I said, we'd have to deal with later. This was one seriously fucked-up situation and my ability to remain cold and clinical in the face of crisis had disappeared when Masen picked up the bat.

"I'm sorry that _I_ happened to you. You were fine, I was doing alright. We met, and now you're fighting people, meeting Jake's gang. You're hurt and you bled because of me, and then you fucked me and made my world explode, which is another example of how I'm continuing to hurt you."

He put his arms around me and it took every fucking fiber of my self-restraint not to give in to everything I felt.

"Bella, no-"

"So many people have abused you in absolutely every way a person can be abused. Yet you carry my stuff around and open fucking doors for me. You fight with me, but you'd never physically hit me. When we… what the fuck do we do? Sleep together? When we sleep together, you always put my pleasure before your own. You never take anything for yourself, and-"

He pulled back and put his hands on my shoulders probably to stop me. I hurt so much and I needed him to stop hating himself, taking the blame for everything. If he valued himself as a person, if I could show him how much I fucking cared about him… Even now, after all of that, he had attained a calmness that would take me a long time to achieve. He had seen everything I heard first-hand and still seemed stronger than I felt. He had been broken so many times and had rebuilt until I sent it all crashing the fuck down around him.

How many times had he saved me? He had promised to take care of any emergencies I might have, as a couple or not. He paid for our pot and alcohol, fought with me over the cafeteria total- what the fuck had I done for him? I had the potential to hurt him more than any 'girlfriend' in his past and yet…

"I think I love you and I don't know how to fucking _help_ you."

My eyes snapped to his face, his gaze was intense and fierce. Oh _no_. _Oh no_.

"Bella… what the fuck?"

**Authors Note:**  
I know a lot of you are probably wondering why Bella didn't call for outside help. It would be the responsible thing to do- and if anyone's in the position… call. After saying that, I sound like a hypocrite, but comfort myself with the fact that this is _fiction_. It was incredibly foolish of her to wait around, yet I think she argued her case well enough. She's right, for the sake of this story and where I want it to go. It's a terrifying thing and right/wrong don't always apply. Which is why I'm pushing 'call 911' or 'don't be in a situation like this, period.' =) PCP, any hard drug, is _not good for you_ and can bring on a fuckload of complications that no one needs. Weed, on the other hand, I stand by because its legal now in a lot of states and I'm really fucking happy about that.  
Still, if you indulge, know your dealer, make sure you trust them, and never add shit to weed.

**Authors End Note 2:**  
Between Carlisle and this chapter, I'm going to need a day or two to recuperate. That's some intense stuff they all just waded through. This story is doing strange things to me, and I love to say that I'm taking a break, but Edward's already talking to me. Now. So… onto chapter 28.

**Authors End Note 3:**  
I really wanted there to be a lemon here. It was all set up after the break, but then weird shit happened. Whoops…  
**Quick note-**  
Oh, and yes turkey vultures live in the state of Washington. All of those facts are true. I think they're creepy, but I've had really bad luck with birds. Mountain lions do inhabit Texas, though from what I hear attacks against humans are very rare. I'm not sure if Jasper's gun is the perfect type, but for a quick shoot-and-take-down? That'd do its job. My parents live in Pennsylvania, and if I go walking and come across another bear- I'm gonna want something that can take down an elephant, too. Haha.  
I know, I'm a loser with too much time on her hands, so I research weird shit. About the morning-after pill an other forms of contraceptives- all facts are true. I don't exaggerate or under exaggerate details like those in my stories. Absolutely nothing is guaranteed when it comes to sexual safety and pregnancy risks, nor do the pills protect against STD's. Just have to throw that warning out here, =).

**Authors End Note:  
MissingIdeas-**  
Thanks for the great review! I'm really happy the Carlisle POV chapter works. I was surprised when I started seeing things from his perspective, I've never had much interest in Carlisle. Heh.

**AngelaSampedro99-**  
Some clove cigarettes were flavored, you know? Cherry, vanilla, chocolate, etc- and the government says that the candy-type flavoring was making children want to smoke. …yea. Really glad you liked the chapter!

**Ccaajjaa-**  
No problem! I'm sorry this chapter took so long to upload! I assume Bella was pissed because she's used to taking care of things herself. Not to mention, they're happy and dating- she didn't know what was going on. Impatience, worry, wondering if Edward was going to be arrested- I'd be upset, too. Haha- and Bella in the books was always mad that other people made decisions for her. Figured I'd try to have some sort of tie-in. =P  
Have fun on your vacation!

**Astha Cullen, Weather Reports, EdwardsBrunette2, SweetNonsense, Srose2885, 1dreamkeeper, lilannagrielle- **a LOT of new people! Hello to everyone and thank you to those who reviewed for the first time! All of them are amazing, thanks for the support, compliments, and suggestions!

**Bluecanoe-**  
I worried a little that I was pushing Carlisle onto the backburner… in his own chapter. Haha. I'm not sure if I like him in the little room while Esme and Alice talk. I worry he wasn't masculine enough. 'shrug. I'll figure it out eventually, =). Thank you for the awesome review!

**VAVikingGirl-**  
Thank _you_ so very much for always leaving reviews! I've no doubt whatever you write will be phenomenal. No worries in that regard, you're amazing. 'hug!

**Kitasky123-**  
Hooray! Congrats on catching up with everything! Are you off now for summer? Hope you're having fun!

**Parkesy23-**  
I just have to say again- thank you for all of the reviews you've left! =D!

**Heavyinfinity-**  
I'm not sure why her hair was red, heh. I assume Edward helped her dye it, especially if they were trying to hide from authorities? Waiting for Edward to think or talk about it. Not entirely sure why her arm was broken and why they were there yet, either. Thank you! I'll find reasons and write about them soon!

**LadyChery-**  
Wow. Thank you! I'm really happy you like the story, thanks for reading!

**1MrsECullen-**  
Thank you, thank you! Everyone in the story's changing somehow, which is great… but also frustrating because I'm trying to keep them all in character, slightly reminiscent of their Canon counterparts and still fun. Argh? Thank you for re'cing and posting on Twitter for 'Handcuff Bracelet'!

**Cat5050-**  
Under-reviewed? Haha, I'm stunned you think so! I can't believe I'm pushing 500. That's… absolutely insane to me, heh. Sorry you've had to wait so long! Life has been kicking my ass lately, but hopefully that's all done with now. Thank you for all of the amazing things you've said. =D.

**PrincessBella24-**  
Flashbacks drive me insane, too. I keep wanting to steady things out with Edward so I can move onto Bella- and more of them happen. Glad you're not bored with him yet!

**Amelia Bedelia-**  
Yeah… I've got to go back and rewrite some of their chapters. Alice is supposed to be 16, Edward 17. They _do _feel younger. I got my ages mixed up- Alice's POV chapter was written with her as a 14 year old. Then I tried to make her sound more mature, but I don't think that's transferred.  
**o  
**I like to think that Alice seems somewhat younger than she's supposed to be throughout the whole story. Not sure why that is and I've been trying to rectify that with future chapters.  
**o  
**Glad you like the chapter, and the other ones, despite the fuckery. =)

**San4jon-**  
O.O. Thank you so much for your reviews! Happy to see the story entertains you!

**My4kids-**  
Yay! I've been a little lax with explaining Alice's history. I think its because I have a chapter written in Jaspers POV- for a new story. Toying with the idea of doing something for Alice and Jasper- with Edward and Bella as secondary people. Rather than doing 'Handcuff Bracelet' all over again- there will be some correlations, but not a repeat… not sure if it'll happen yet.  
**o  
**I wonder, most of all, if I can make it work. Some of the events would be the same, but I don't want Bella and Edward dominating it. This story is on my mind most of the time- once I decide, I'll either have in-depth Alice or post the first chapter to a new one!  
**o  
**Thank you, though; sorry for the rambling!

**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
=D! For now, haha, I want to enhance Jaspers character a little. Edward can't win _all_ the time, muhaha. Thank you!

**Karen4honor-**  
Anytime! Thank you for your fantastic reviews! Thinking about a Charlie POV chapter, but I don't 'hear' him yet. Hopefully soon because it'd be really, really fun.

**DreamyDane-**  
Thanks very much! Definitely going to get back to posting regularly. It's been, what, a week and a half now? Eff. Thank you a lot again!

**Soffia27-**  
Hehe, almost everyone hates Tanya! I really had no idea how much hostility there is for her. Whoops? =P No, Edward didn't do anything with her. =D, couldn't do that to them. Thanks for your reviews!

**Drkvctry-**  
So many new people! Hello!  
**o  
**No problem, haha. I have to admit that it was an option, but that wouldn't have worked for what I've planned. =P  
**o  
**Really happy you like Bella!  
**o  
**Your reviews made me laugh, thank you for all of them! Hope you like the rest of the story!


	28. Circle

**Chapter 28  
- Circle**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
Sorry for the repetition. There were a lot of unanswered questions in the last chapter. I know there's been a lot of focus on Edward and Alice. That'll change soon, I have a whole plot-line later on that delves into why Bella's the way she is and what Phoenix was like for her.  
This isn't the happiest of stories, I tried to warn everyone in the story notes…  
**Authors Note 3:**  
RIP Paul Gray, bassist in the band Slipknot. He passed away on May 24th- listen to a Slipknot song and do a shot in memory…

**Playlist**  
grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
**(Technically the songs should be the same as the last chapter because part of this is repeated. … but that wouldn't be any fun. Between Papa Roach and P.O.D, they said all I wanted to say. They also kept madness at bay so I didn't get sucked too deeply in this chapter.)  
**Sleeping Awake-** P.O.D  
**Alive (n' Out of Control)- **Papa Roach  
**Down With the Sickness**- Disturbed  
**Crash- **Papa Roach  
**Torture Me- **Red Hot Chili Peppers  
**Circle- **Slipknot (I take it back about Vermillion… this one's amazing, too)

**Edward's Point of View**

"Edward? What's wrong?"

Everything. Nothing? This could all be in my imagination. The feeling of dread in my stomach, the one that told me whatever I was doing could end in a potential fatality, was present and never lied.

"I've felt this before. You need to get the fuck out of here." Mike Newton had fucked me over for the last time. I knew he was incompetent, but this was really pushing things. Had he done it purposefully? I'd wring his fucking neck. The last time I had this happen… my face went numb, everything was tweaked out. I was an idiot. "I should have fucking recognized it yesterday," I berated myself. "There's something wrong with that fucking weed."

"What happened yesterday?"

Bella didn't know what was going on. Apparently PCP only affected me, drove me up the fucking wall. I was in official flip-the-fuck-out mode. I had blamed the dream, it didn't occur to me that I needed to check the pot. There hadn't ever been a problem before. I assumed Mike knew better than to fuck with me and my drug. If I had used a little more in the first blunt, I'd have known right away.

Masen's voice in my head no longer bothered me. Car doors slamming, opening a beer can, none of them made me fight my way back to reality. It had taken a long time to remedy due to people noticing my strange reactions to everyday things. When I was trying to draw the least amount of attention to myself- they all tended to avert their eyes upon seeing all the ink- jumping at stupid shit was a real giveaway that something was wrong with me.

I still preferred beer bottles over cans and I loved that the Volvo auto-started. That was another reason I cared for Carlisle and Esme. They had bought it specifically because one push of a button started the engine. Somehow they noticed my paranoia when it came to cars and the slamming of their doors. With the engine on, music blasting, it didn't fucking bother me at all. Not that it did in the first place.

_ Focus, damn you! Are you really thinking about your _car _right now?_

Bella laughed, "Edward, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about."

Shit, she was drugged as fuck. How to get her to understand? At least it wasn't affecting her in a bad way. I'd have seen the signs by now. Her eyes were darker, she was flushed, but her breathing was relaxed and slow. She'd ride this out and suffer no consequences.

"Laced weed, PCP. I'm sure. You've got to get the fuck out."

"Nope," she shook her head stubbornly. "I'm not leaving you."

This wasn't one of things that was arguable. She needed to go and it needed to be fucking now. "Bella, I've felt… I've gone through this before. _Exactly like this_," I paused to emphasize the rest. "It wasn't good."

She was saying something about calling the police. Jesus fuck, no.

"Don't do that." I took her phone, just in case, and pocketed it before she could dial the three numbers that would fuck us royally. Last time, the drug had hit hard and fast. I was on borrowed time. "Only call 911 if you start grinding your teeth."

After everything was said and done, the people I had been with warned me not to do anything like that with them present again. As though I had a choice. My first trip hadn't been a voluntary one. Grinding teeth meant that the body was close to seizure, we'd need medical help. I was in no condition to help her if something went wrong. If it were me, I'd suffer through it. I'd live, and if I didn't… I wouldn't need to care. Bella, on the other hand; I needed her to be okay. Her father would kill me, and, honestly, I couldn't live knowing that I had stopped her from getting help if she really needed it.

"It would be the end of Carlisle, it'll devastate Charlie. Alice, Jasper- no."

I didn't need Alice to walk in here. Jasper would keep her safe, far away from here. The movie would be at least two hours long, with an hour drive each way. We would be fine by then, hopefully. I just needed to get us both through this.

"I was violent," I tried again. "I remembered bad shit. But, Bella, it felt so motherfucking _real_. They locked me in the bathroom..."

She wasn't strong enough to wrestle me down if I went into one of my rages. In this state, I didn't know if she could stand. I sure as fuck wasn't going to try and move. I was losing touch with the things around me.

"How long did it last? What happened exactly?" Her voice sounded far away. I could still see her, but everything felt… unreal.

'_You weak bastard, can't fight this off, huh? What happens to Bella when you lose it? When you're gone and she's left alone with you and what you're capable of?" _

"Fuck you," I tried to shake it off. If I let this get to me, the voice was right. I'd be leaving her alone to deal with whatever was left of me physically.

"- talk to _me_." Bella's eyes pleaded with me. I would know them anywhere, so soft and trusting. They darkened when she was annoyed, flashed when she was pissed. She should have charred Jacob alive with the death glares she sent his way.

I couldn't do this. It was wrong, she shouldn't be around me. I brought pain and trouble to everyone I had ever met. A few years with me and her eyes would be cold and jaded. God, what the fuck was wrong with me? I was nothing like Masen, but what if that were an age thing?

My biological family had a history of abuse issues. I would never hit Bella or fuck with her in any way… but what if that's what Masen had said? Oh jesus fuck! I wouldn't know it was happening! How much had I done already? Granted, I hadn't turned the table on anyone I cared about… yet, all of the limits I'd once set for myself never lasted long.

I could remember vowing never to join a gang, try hard drugs, drink, let Alice be injured, go to jail. What the motherfucking shit? Time had cured me of all illusions. All of those things had happened, some of them more than once. Was it inevitable? The start of them had killed me a little more, but it didn't mean that repeat offenses hadn't occurred.

I'd left the gang, didn't smoke anything aside from pot. I was rarely, if ever, drunk with people home. Alice was okay here, my record would be wiped clean very soon… did that excuse anything? Burying shit under the carpet didn't mean it went away. Just like the darkness I knew was present, that helped motivate me to do cruel and vicious things in the past- that wasn't gone, either. I had hit men and con-artists on speed-dial for fuck's sake!

And then she touched me. Warmth, it drove away all of the numbness and cold. She turned her hands palm up and gripped my arms so that my fingers ended at the bend of her elbow. With her sitting in front of me, I had nothing else to focus on. So fucking beautiful. Strong and defiant, physically capable of looking out for herself, kind and generous; she was nothing like Elizabeth Masen. Bella wouldn't run and cower if a child were being hurt in front of her. Much as I hated to admit it, I knew Bella would sacrifice her life for someone she wanted to help.

"Don't look away from me, okay? Concentrate."

Like now. She wasn't going anywhere? I'd keep trying to change her mind, but she had asked me something. I pushed the doubt and fear to the side. Those emotions wouldn't help keep me stable. What had she wanted to know? Something about my past experience with-.

"Yeah," I didn't plan on staring at anything else. She kept me grounded, sane. "Okay, uh… last time? About two hours, maybe?"

"How much did you smoke then?"

"A few joints." The icy-cold feeling of dread rose again, "What about now? Where's the blunt?"

I was going to give her phone back if more than half of that motherfucker was gone. In fact, I'd probably call Carlisle myself. I had promised Charlie that Bella would be safe with me. So much for that, what the ever-loving _fuck_.

"We only took out a quarter of it," she glanced behind her at my table.

She kept asking me questions, I answered them best I could. I was using all of my willpower to keep my attention on her. It didn't matter what my answers were so long as nothing imaginary manifested in the room with us.

"Do it!" Her voice was sharp and controlling, but I could see her fear. "You won't hurt me. Twenty times in your head. Now!"

Bella was frightened. She was scared of _me_. I wouldn't hurt her, I couldn't. It was a good piece of advice. As I repeated the words over and over in my head, I started believing them. I was an asshole, but I wasn't going to harm her. She meant too much for me to endanger her.

Why she kept insisting on staying was beyond me to understand. I was trying to keep her safe, far away from me. Hadn't she seen the damage I was able to inflict? I wouldn't ever intentionally hurt her, but as we had established, not all pain was physical.

The room seemed to grow darker, the hair on my neck stood on end. This wasn't happening, not again. No, no, I refused to give in. Tricky thing about drugs? They don't give a shit if you're willing or not; they take over, crash through you. In this case, they'd leave me in worst condition than when I started. Her voice echoed in my head and I struggled to keep that tie to her. Deep inside I wondered if this were all a dream. Being adopted, having everything I'd attained over the years- what the fuck kind of twisted reality was this?

I had a girlfriend? And one in Bella Swan, I must have dreamed her. No one could fit my qualifications so well. She was a figment of my imagination brought forth to keep me from cracking.

"- remember that I'm here and you're speaking to _me_. Okay?"

Sure, okay, yes, I could do that. With all of the voices resembling different parts of my conscious, what did it really matter if one of them were female? Hearing Bella, which meant beautiful- it made perfect fucking sense. I hadn't been adopted, this was another fucking twisted mind-fuck. When it was over, I'd wake up cold, alone, starving, and a little more dead inside because the beauty of this dream wasn't something I'd recover from. Alice, too, I had to give myself credit. When I did something, I went all the fuck out. A little girl coming to find _me_ out of all the people in New York? Not likely.

I smelled alcohol and closed my eyes. The room was spinning and I didn't want to be sick. It was another weakness that Masen wouldn't tolerate. Terror clogged my throat, made it difficult to breathe. I had lost track of time. Where was I? In my room, locked in the closet, cuffed to something in the bathroom? No, none of this looked familiar. Where the _fuck_ was I? At one of his friends houses? Had he locked me in their shed while they drank and played cards? I wasn't in his truck.

Did a door close? What the fuck sound had that been? Why was this gorgeous girl with soft brown hair and eyes still in front of me? Now was usually the time everything erupted into pain. Blackness would descend. I'd wake up somewhere new, disoriented and bleeding. Maybe that's what happened. He had beaten me unconscious and now I'd pay for the inconvenience of having to move me somewhere out of the way. I had long since stopped going out of my way to please him. Masen was never satisfied by anything or anyone. He had burned through my mother and I was the only one left. If I hadn't been born a son, I've no doubt he would have found a way to get rid of me. How many times had he told me his blood would live on through me? Jesus fucking Christ.

The only reason he gave a shit was because… something about being a man one day? I was doing piss-poorly and nothing I could do would change his mind. He beat me so often because it made me strong. His father had done the same for him, though Masen took things to a whole new level. Who needed food and clothes? If I wanted something, I could obtain it on my own. And if I were careless enough to be caught- well, he'd make sure I didn't make the same mistake twice. The Spartans would agree with his parenting methods. Warm, understanding, and cuddly, that was Masen. He was going to flip the motherfuck out if he saw Bella.

Why was he back so early? Where was he back _from_? Why the fuck… none of this mattered. She was in danger and I couldn't do anything to stop him. Well, I _could_, but would it be worth it? Enraging him was never a good idea, I wouldn't last very long, but maybe…

"I'm here, Edward. He won't hurt you."

No, he wouldn't hurt me. Not right away, he'd start with her first. The thought made me sick, even worse than I felt now. I couldn't allow that to happen. Real or imagined, I saw the pain in her eyes. She was a fucking female, why the fuck was she in this hell?

"He's dead, he can't hurt you. Masen _died_, Edward. He can't be here."

I wish that were true. Masen, I knew, would throw my door open any moment from now. The footsteps were heavy with anger. He was home, always with the school-buses. I'd see them and know that any peace I had managed to find would be shattered. From two to four in the afternoon, again around eight at night, I was his human punching bag. Sometimes he was too drunk to throw me around, other times he drank while hurting me, which meant that he'd collapse in a drunken stupor sooner.

The refrigerator would open- god fucking forbid he go without a drink for more than ten minutes. The panic was all-consuming. I couldn't breathe, function, or think clearly. There wasn't any time to get her out of here. No one saw the devastation he wrought, the lives he ruined. He told people I was rowdy, liked getting into trouble. With that reputation, and Masen's intimidation, no one trusted us. I had stolen from some of our neighbors- watching until they had left for the day, I'd creep through their houses to find food. I was caught a few times, which was why no one called for help on my behalf.

Everyone sympathized with _Dad._ Masen was raising a good-for-nothing, rebellious, out of control kid. Pity him. Ignore the child. The mother's gone missing? She probably ran off with someone, finally, the whore. It wasn't as though the kid didn't eat, everyone saw Masen bring home food.

For himself. He never shared any with me. I was locked in my room or, when I was really small, the fridge. I'd smell the food, roll into a ball because my stomach hurt so badly… by that point I could usually make myself pass out. If I were lucky, he wouldn't thrash me awake. And if I made any sound that might alert said caring neighbors to a disturbance- he'd gag me.

Elizabeth had tried to help, I guess, but back then I was actually going to school. He treated her worse than me. I learned later that he rarely, if ever, let her leave the house without him. When I tried to help her, things got worse. I wasn't stupid enough to alert anyone to what was happening. Masen had promised to kill her if people came snooping around. No one would be that foolish. They were all too ignorant and blind to notice, anyway. I heard talk from the neighbors. She was a prostitute, but what they didn't know, that I had found out later- he stayed home to watch every guy he forced her to fuck. All of this happened while I was at school. Elizabeth had debased herself, however he had asked, so that I wouldn't be forced to see her degradation.

I got home one day and she was nowhere to be found. If I had known, distanced as I was from everything that happened in the house, I could have tried to help her. After the first few were killed, perhaps Masen would stop bringing them around. More like, he'd destroy me. I never talked about what I knew. The message had been delivered in a variety of ways, all of them painful. She was dead, I could never make up for what had happened to her. There was still a part of me that hated her for what I'd been through. A larger, more prevalent part hated myself even more for not knowing what _she_ went through.

It was a vicious cycle, one I had tuned out long ago. Damning her and all the times she had heard Masen throwing me around only to ignore it… Guilt churning within me for not helping my mother, who wouldn't help me- maybe it was because she left me money? I was lucky to have survived to inherit it, but she _had_ set an age-limit of sixteen rather than twenty-five or older. She had no way of knowing Masen would be dead at that point. The inheritance had saved Alice, me; I should have killed anyone who hurt her long ago.

When I walked through the door, I knew something was wrong. It had been too quiet, Masen was already home. Asking questions was suicidal, but I had no self-control when it came to wanting answers. He lied to me while delivering the supposed message Elizabeth had left for me. She escaped and left me with him because 'Bethie' had known I needed a _man_ in my life.

Wanting nothing to do with me, the huge fucking disappointment, she was gone and Masen planned on beating all traces of her out of me. That was the last day I went to school. We moved to an even shittier neighborhood, not that I thought it was possible. A trailer park where everyone seemed to be like Masen; cruel, old, and bitter. He was right at home in squalor and the dominance contests between the men for who could be the bigger bastard.

When I ran, he found me. Two times I had attempted to escape, and days passed before I was able to crawl across the floor. It was almost worth the agony, Masen left me alone while I healed from the worst of my injuries. After the second 'lesson,' I gave up trying. It wasn't fucking worth it. Anything to avoid pain; how many times had he left me broken?

Well, fuck me, that wasn't happening this time. False bravado, but motivational all the same. The beautiful girl was crying and it pissed me off. I didn't want her to be scared; she was in this with me, no matter how it ended. It had been too late for Elizabeth, but I could keep Masen from destroying another person.

The lights seemed to shift, there were shadows everywhere. There he stood, in a drunken rage, holding a weapon. He looked at Bella and smiled evilly. Well, that answered one question. He could see her, too. Fuck this. He wanted someone to beat on? I'd give him a motherfucking target. All panic subsided and left in its wake a fury to match his. Like father, like son. I had never been scared of _him_. The hour before he came home was excruciating, I panicked and hated it, but once I saw him… there was no reason to be afraid. I'd take the pain, treat my wounds, and then will myself to pass out before I dry-heaved from the abuse and hunger. Same shit, different day.

"Do it then," I snarled at him. He was on the warpath and only blood would satisfy him. I would gladly bleed for the girl with trusting eyes. "Bastard," I hurled at him, adding fuel to the fire. "Coward." His shadow grew larger. Fear clogged my throat, but I continued glaring at him. Calling him a coward was the worst I could hurl at him. Nothing enraged him more than that word.

"Edward, please-"

Masen stepped forward and distracted me. He had heard Bella say his name. _Shit_. She wrapped herself around me and I sat up to make myself a bigger target. I wanted her to move, but that would mean we would be separated. What if he got to her first? I couldn't stand the fucking thought of him touching her. My shirt was wet with her tears and I hated myself for not being able to protect her more. She was curled up and vulnerable against my chest. I'd keep her safe.

"What pain, Edward?"

I couldn't hear her very well. All of my attention was focused on Masen and the path he was walking across the floor. I tensed preemptively knowing that he wouldn't give me any warning. "He's got a bat," I tried to warn her.

"Why does he have a bat?" She spoke in a small voice, hoarse from… crying? _Fuck that shit._

Masen was behind me somewhere and I knew the pain would start any second from now. If I hunched over for the worst of it, Bella wouldn't be harmed. Hopefully he'd miss my spine. I would give it a minute, try to hold out. Then I'd push her away, face Masen myself. She could run, I could hold his attention.

"His belt made me bleed. My back hit the lockers at school. Red blood, people asked questions. I had to lie. The bat isn't sharp, a lot of stuff isn't." A little too much information, maybe, but the only reason I could speak was because she was _with_ me.

That had been a really, really bad day. Masen was waiting for me once I got through the doors. He hung up the duct-taped phone and dragged me into the bathroom. He had smacked me around while the tub filled. The water was freezing, it burned against the scratches on my back. I swore to him over and over again that I hadn't told anyone the truth about him. Masen held me under. Each time he let me get air, I was forced to promise I'd never think about talking to anyone again. After that, he had used blunt objects to hurt me. They didn't always work the way he wanted. He tried to stay away from my face and arms so no one would know, but with the force behind his blows, if I fell to the floor… I bled and it would piss him off even more. And once I was bleeding, why not continue? What's done was done.

The bat was one of his favorite ways to inflict pain. I saw it raise, but didn't feel it fall. Bella was clinging to me. The shadows shifted again, I felt torn in two.

"Edward, _please_. I don't want to get you in trouble. You have to _help me_. I don't know what to do!"

Innocent, sweet Bella. She wasn't getting me into trouble. If I could speak I'd be thanking her for making all of this bearable. I had a reason to fight back. My hatred for Masen was so strong that I felt nothing he did to me. Bastard would hate that.

Bella. Isabella Swan. She dug her nails into my back and I was bombarded with flashes, memories? She laughed at me, eyes bright and happy, in the hallway of a school. On her knees under a computer desk, smiling at me as she handed me a tissue. Leaning over me as I lay on the floor, her breath sweet, lips soft, she had kissed me. Wrapping bandages around my knuckles, she had looked so angry and upset, because I had been hurt.

"Harder," I wrapped my arms around her tightly. "You're in my head. It's a dream. I know where I am." I did, sort-of. _This_ was my room, I lived in a house far away from Masen. Bella was right, he died a long time ago. I had stopped seeing him years ago, only his voice remained in my head. Life at the group home and with my first family had been difficult. I kept expecting him to appear and drag me screaming, fighting, back to hell. It was so difficult to concentrate, but Bella was real. Alive and warm, she smelled so fucking good. I felt her heartbeat against my chest. The hallucination was disappearing, there weren't any more shadows. I could see my bookshelves and feel my pillows, the blanket, Bella.

I knew exactly why my body was protesting this position. My ribs were bruised because I had gotten into a fight with people from the Res. It really hadn't been a dream. I was free, relatively safe, and Bella was crying. That really brought reality crashing down. How much had I said aloud? Why was she crying? What assaholic thing had I done to cause that? How long had I been phased out?

I listened to her speak and each word hurt more than anything I had felt. Bella thought she was bad for me? She kept apologizing for things that weren't her fault. I didn't know what the fuck to do. She didn't seem to be in physical pain, at least.

I was wrong. Bella hadn't been crying, her eyes were tearing and red, but she had yet to give in. It was one of the strongest fucking things I'd ever seen. I tried to protest what she was saying because all of it was wrong. She didn't seem to hear me; it was breaking point and I couldn't pull her back from the edge. She was too upset for me to do anything but hold her and let her words cut me to pieces. I had done this to her. Fierce and proud, she had stepped up to help me on the parking lot. I was the reason she was breaking.

In only a few months, I managed to do what she hadn't allowed anyone to do. I hurt her. And not only had I hurt her, I made her want to fucking _cry_. Bella had enlightened me on some of the horrific things she had seen in Phoenix, not one tear. She spoke of staring down the barrel of a gun with calm acceptance. Bella had every reason to despise me. If she punched me in the jaw, kicked me a few times in the stomach on the way to the door… I'd more than deserve that shit. There was absolutely no way I could make this up to her.

"… I think I love you and I don't know how to fucking _help_ you."

"Bella…" I stopped, speechless. "What the fuck?"

She- but- … she didn't _hate_ me? Her entire body tensed, she went motionless and I could feel that she was holding her breath. _Fuck_.

"No, no, I'm sorry," I moved her back so she could see my face. "I didn't fucking mean it that way. You- I- you what?"

"I didn't mean to tell you that way," she averted her eyes as she wiped her face. Her tone was flat, dead. I had done that to her, too. Goddamnit! My entire fucking body was shaking and I didn't know how to make it stop.

"You think- you love _me_?"

"I'm sorry! Don't pay attention to it right now. Forget I said anything. We'll talk later, okay?" She still wouldn't look at me and I couldn't ask her to. Apologies from me weren't going to do anything in this situation.

"I've been trying to tell you that for fucking _days_ now," I admitted.

_ Say the fucking words, damnit! Now, more than ever, you can't expect her to understand. Even if she does understand, they need to be said. _

"I… uh. I think- no," I took a deep breath. There was no thinking to be done. I knew how I felt and Bella had been courageous enough to say it. "I love you, too."

"Say that again?" She looked shocked as I had felt, "I don't think I heard you correctly."

Some of her mascara had run which made her seem even more like a pirate, what with the dark kohl circling around her eyes. Her skin was entirely too pale, I saw the fatigue and stress of the past however many hours catching up with her. Yet, in spite of, and maybe because of that, I found her to be fucking beautiful.

"That was, hands down, one of the worst experiences of my life. I've no idea how you managed to get through it. I'm so fucking sorry it happened in the first place-"

"Don't be sorry," she interrupted. "You tried to make me leave and you gave me plenty of warning that things might get out of control. They didn't, you did not hurt me."

"You just spent most of the evening talking me down from a drug-induced hallucination and your first instinct is to make me feel better?"

"Seems like…" she grinned wryly.

I hugged her and laughed, "I fucking love you, Bella Swan."

"You know," she put her arms around my neck, "not to sound tactless? I really fucking love you, too. So much it hurts sometimes. That can't be normal, can it?"

"I don't know, but that's how I feel about you. All the time," I laughed.

Holding her, having been through hell and back- knowing that I had gotten through it because of her- I would do _anything_ for her. My past was not something that people tread through easily. It wasn't something I was willing to share, at all. Yet not only had I told her about some of the things that had happened, she had seen first-hand me at my worst. Of course Bella hadn't run from it, though part of me really wished she had. I didn't like that she had seen me shaking and terrified. Would she have second thoughts now? How the fuck was she supposed to feel safe after seeing me…

"So, uh, what do we do now? I mean, that was crazy-intense, all of it. Are you… okay? Do you want to, er, talk about anything?"

"Eventually," I promised her, smiling at her rational tone. "Kinda enjoying the fact its over. I'm really, deeply sorry if I scared you."

"You didn't," she shook her head. "I just didn't know what to do. You were so angry, then you shut down... I didn't think you could hear me anymore. I, uh, was about to call someone for help. I know you said it was a bad idea, and I agreed with you, but- you really phased out on me for awhile there."

"Bella, I also really, really, really fucking apologize for making you cry."

"I didn't _cry_," she insisted instantly. "It was an emotionally charged situation that I wasn't equipped to handle. That's all."

"Absolutely," I agreed instantly. If she were willing to overlook my pansy fuckery, I wasn't going to bring up the fact my shirt was still wet.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"You don't need to introduce a question," I sighed. "You have no idea how bad that could have been. Thank you, if I haven't said it."

"I don't want your gratitude to lead our relationship," she replied seriously. "I know you think it's some awesome thing I've done for you, but… I _was_ in the drug business, you know?"

"Talking addicts down was part of your job description?"

"No… I actually tried to avoid that aspect. I just didn't want you to excuse everything I do from here because of right now."

"You'll yell at me again for something soon, don't worry about it."

"Most likely," she smiled.

Emotional trauma dealt with. Sort-of. We'd probably be talking about this sometime in the future, but right now… she was all mine.

"Are you better now? It's freezing in here, I turned the air-conditioner up a little while ago. You seemed to be really hot…"

Now that she mentioned it, yea, it was really fucking cold in here. I felt clammy all over. There were so many things that now needed to be addressed.

"I'll explain everything another day. I, y'know, don't want to go back through all of that so soon."

"I wouldn't have asked," she cleared her throat and offered me a bottle of water.

I loved Bella Swan. It was true. I had known it for quite awhile, but hadn't been able to admit it to myself. The prospect was terrifying. Bella saw… me, not the inked tough guy or the pissed-off ex-gang member, but… the person who should have been.

She made me laugh, smile, care. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her. No one would threaten her ever the fuck again. I'd kill anyone who dared to stand against her, us. She helped me want to see another day, I woke excited to fucking see her. Thoughts like those usually sent off the neon red warning signs. Around her, when thinking about her, none of them were in effect. Neither of us were particularly stable when it came to relationships. I'd do my fucking damndest not to hurt her, but how long would she be able to deal with my bullshit?

There were so many things that I had forced myself to accept. All of them seemed to be surfacing as of late. Where the fuck did that leave us? Right now it didn't matter. She looked pale and fucking… perfect. Sitting cross-legged, head tipped to one side studying my comforter, she looked tired, but happy. Happiness, what a fucking strange emotion. I had felt variations of happiness over the years, but it was so rare that I often overlooked it.

There were always things to worry about. Paranoid, that was me. The money could run out, there could be a discrepancy with the bank and all of it could disappear. Chances were so slim it was laughable to even conceive of such a problem, but… that's me. I had cold hard cash in my closet; we were by no means _poor_.

What Bella asked of me was so far beyond anything in my experience. She didn't' want promises of financial security or undying love. All she asked was that I enjoy the time I spent with her in the same way she valued time with me. That was… insane. My main motivation in life was to make sure the people I cared about would be fine if something catastrophic were to happen. Nothing else mattered. If we had plenty of money, the ability to fight for the way of life we had become accustomed to, and something to make said fight worth it? I was good. More than good.

Alice showed me what having family was like. I had needed something to live for and Alice gave me plenty. Keeping her safe had always taken precedence over everything else. Knowing that I had someone to return for, that she cared about me and what happened to me? I had been cold with her in the beginning and no amount of apologizing could take that back. I'd abandoned her a few times, albeit in the care of professionals.

Getting clean, leaving the gang; I had done that because she showed me there was another way of life. If she had her way, I'd be steadily employed somewhere. As it was, I took matters into my own hands and made more than any job would have paid. It was a little more dangerous, but compared to the possibility of being shot by people I had pledged loyalty to… not so much more risky.

When the group homes tried to keep us apart, I'd flip the fuck out. I never saw her as anything but a sister. Our relationship was strange what with all of the intimate details we shared and the tight quarters we had been forced to share. All of that aside, she was family. I worried once that as she grew older, she'd see me in a different way. It never happened. She matured, and sometimes asked me difficult-to-answer questions, yet I had never gotten any sign that she wanted to sate her curiosity with me in a physical way.

We had pretended to be different things when the situation called for it. Alice had masqueraded as my girlfriend, my fiancé, and we had laughed about it afterward with no awkwardness. Telling people that she was my sister never felt like a lie. It's how she had introduced herself to me all those years ago and it stuck.

Up until Jasper, Alice really hadn't taken any interest in men. She flirted, who didn't? I had seen her go on dates only to return with the guy her fucking _friend_. Before we had one of our 'serious conversations' I worried that my whoring around with random people had turned her off to relationships. She assured me that wasn't the case. Not that I needed to know, but she admitted that no one caused any _reactions _for her. There was nothing I could do to help with that. Watching her with Jay, it was obvious that was no longer a problem. I actually hated Jasper a little for how easy he made everything seem. He 'courted' Alice, took her on dates… romantic bastard.

My version of a date had consisted of facing gang members in a parking lot. Fucking Bella in a meadow? Jasper bought Alice presents, for fuck's sake. I had yet to buy Bella something real. Pot, alcohol, and now a night of paranoid terror with me on PCP... The worst part? Now that I had the means to finally support someone, to take care of a girlfriend the way it should be- Bella didn't want it. With her resting in my arms, no one speaking, yet unspoken words hanging in the air… she loved me? Seriously? Why?

I had no time to ask. She kissed me and it was like the first time she had jumped into my arms. The day of the Computer Room Plan, when we stood outside and kissed as a couple rather than two people with inordinately high sex drives. It had been one of my first moments of panic. I should have admitted it to myself long ago. It would have saved days of worrying and planning. All of that had been for nothing. Would it be held against me that Bella said it first? Probably not, this wasn't exactly the middle ages.

Slow and insistent, I didn't try to speed things up. This was about more than physical gratification… though it had a lot to do with that. This was the longest I had gone without sex for a really long time. I ran my hands along her back remembering the sensitive place on her lower back. That had been such useful knowledge, I admit to tormenting the hell out of her in Spanish class. I couldn't resist. It had been an accident, at first. Kind-of.

I was scratching her back lightly trying not to doze off while the teacher conjugated something. Bella jumped and the text-book fell onto the floor. She glared at everyone who turned to look at us, and when I picked it up I noticed how deeply she had flushed. I knew the signs by now, this wasn't due to embarrassment. Like now, she shifted subtly against me every time I ran my fingers along the waistline of her jeans. Bella owned a lot of pants, I missed her skirts and dresses with a passion. It felt as though she were taunting me. 'Find a way to make this work.'

The rational side told me I was being an ass. She really was just looking out for my health and well-being. The irrational side made me want to prove to her that I was more than capable of resuming intimate boyfriend activities.

All I had to do, before the enforced abstinence, was slide a hand up her leg to know whether she was wearing cotton, satin, or silk. Even the tight, low-slung, boot-cut pants she had on didn't appease me. I didn't want her to think I dated and loved her for the clothes she wore. Personally, I doubted she'd ever look bad. She put a lot of effort into her physical appearance and from a male's point of view, I really appreciated it.

"Edward, I…,' she took a deep breath and leaned back against the pillows. "I'm feeling a little, uh, overwhelmed. Not because of the PCP, but- I- … fuck."

"Just say it," I said gently. "Don't worry about hurt feelings or anything. We'll deal with that later, say what you need."

"Okay. I'm just… I'm bothered," she laughed. "I really didn't mean to tell you that way. You weren't even recovering yet, you had _just_ broken through to reality. And I shouldn't have fallen apart all over you, either. I don't know why that happened. I've never done that before. I feel like I'm pushing you into something that you might not want. What if tomorrow you wake up and don't remember or regret having said-"

"I love you?" I easily interrupted her. "Not that this is a good thing to admit, but I've dealt with hallucinations and mind-altering drugs before. I snap back pretty quickly. Whatever we said, after it was over, I was conscious for. I wouldn't tell you something so… relationship changing if I didn't know, one hundred percent, that I meant it."

"But-"

I kissed her. Nothing I said would remove the worry and doubt, therefore, I let actions speak louder than words. It was tentative and gentle at first, but true to both of our natures, it quickly developed into more than a chaste kiss. Her fingers twined in my hair and I groaned into her mouth remembering how fucking good it felt when she did that as I went down on her. Eventually I'd get Bella to the point where she'd move my head where she wanted it.

Applying pressure to my shoulders, she tried to gently push me backwards on the bed. Normally I'd have no problem letting her start things. This time, though, I wanted my meaning to be clear. She was so soft, warm despite the chill from the air-conditioner. The mango scent was less prevalent now, but I didn't miss it. Her hands moved from my hair, down the back of my neck, I felt her fingertips resting on my shoulders.

We were both panting by the time we separated for air. There was a two second pause as I stared at her for confirmation. I wanted her, there was no fucking doubt about it. It would be amazing if I managed to get her off twice. My entire body throbbed, yet I had to know she wasn't worrying about anything. I wanted her mind to be on nothing but the sensations running through her body. Nipping a line down her throat, Bella tipped her head to the side giving me better access. I raised her shirt so that I could unlatch her bra in the back. A flash of purple, I'd study it more closely later. I threw it toward the foot of my bed and busied myself with the zipper on her pants.

"Edward, hang on a second."

"Hm?" I wasn't rushing, but it took a moment to clear my head. Right after saying 'I love you,' I couldn't rip her pants off. It should be slow and… gentle? Sweet? I wasn't oblivious. Sex, at least right now, should be different. Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever just _had sex_ with Bella.

We'd nearly torn one another apart after the dance. I could barely constitute what happened outside the shower as fucking let alone plain sex. The first time had been wild, out of control, getting to know you… how I'd imagined it would be.

Her thigh was pressing against my cock and she was moving. "Bella, if you want to stop… you need to stop shifting around so much."

"No, no stopping," she leaned backwards on one elbow.

Ah, I understood. Safety first. She threw all evidence of our smoking into my drawer. The cigarettes and lighters were fine, but there was no mistaking a blunt. She switched off the light so that the only illumination was that from her Ipod charging. Before I started thinking of all the ways we could hurt Newton, Bella lowered herself to my pillows. Fucking beautiful.

"Get rid of all trace evidence," she smiled.

Fuck yes. Settling myself between her thighs, I raised her shirt. She arched her back anticipating it's removal. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her waist and slid my tongue slowly across her nipple. She gasped loudly, her laugh turned into a moan. Taking my time, I sucked little red marks over to the other side.

Using my piercings, I pressed my tongue flat and made a circle on the underside of her breast. I had caught her attention in Spanish class by making clinking sounds with all of them both inside and outside of my mouth. Judging by her reaction, she had liked watching some of the thing I planned on doing.

She writhed against me and I loved that I could bring her this much pleasure. Feeling her pull me up, she kissed me again. I took a moment to strip out of my shirt. Too fucking hot, the air was cold… I pulled up one of my extra blankets and rectified things. Twice in one night, I found myself losing touch with reality. I was more than willing this time. Losing myself in her was more than fine with me. Awful fucking memories, she had made it alright. I hadn't torn the room apart and Bella wasn't hurt. Her nails dug into my shoulder slightly. My body tightened in anticipation.

"Claw them out." I could remember all of the scars on my back. The tattoo's did their job, but I wanted more meaningful memories. "I love looking into the mirror and seeing the marks you leave on me."

"Edward…" she bit my neck instead.

Pain and need made me desperate for more of her. Growling, I tossed pillows onto the floor. They were in my way. She let me go when she realized my goal. The things I was doing against her tongue was telling enough. I nipped at her hipbones exposed by the low-slung jeans and watched her head fall back.

"Oh man, that movie was fantastic! I have to admit, though I've heard good things about it, I didn't really want to see it," Alice's voice seemed overly loud.

"And your opinion's changed I take it," Jasper replied.

"Yes! That was great! _You guys _have to go and see it! Your next _date night_, alright?"

_ Fuck_. Thank you, Alice. Not only were she and Jasper back, Carlisle and Esme were home, too. Bella's wide eyes met mine. She instantly pulled her shirt down while I dove for the air freshener.

"Like last time? It's still early…"

"Sure," I agreed, not really knowing what Bella was talking about.

She ripped the covers out from underneath all of my pillows. Settling herself in on her side, she pretended to be asleep. Ah, I understood. Neither of us had made any noise, no one would bother us. I climbed in behind her, my back to the door.

Bella's knuckles tightened on one of the pillows. Her hips rocked back into mine involuntarily. The surprise had temporarily alleviated my problem, but I felt it coming back full-force now that we had found a solution. Carlisle or Esme would open the door… there it was. Dull light spilled into the front part of my room.

"Shhh." That was Esme. I knew it was her, yet I couldn't help my body from tensing. Bella usually slept with her arm curled on my chest with one leg around me. She was closest to the wall that way. I was most comfortable on my back, anyway. Positioned this way, I couldn't see the door. I probably wouldn't be able to sleep this way, but it was fine for right now.

"They're sleeping?"

I heard Carlisle flip the light-switch down.

"Yeah, the Chief mentioned they were going to crash early…"

They left the door opened halfway, I figured as much. Biting back swears and plenty of cursing, I kept my eyes shut and counted. Bella exhaled slowly and breathed in deeply. Had she been holding her breath the whole time?

"What did you mean by it's still early?"

She turned her head to whisper just as quietly, "I could have gone home. It's not that late, right?"

"Last time I checked, it was around eleven-thirty."

"Oh," she went silent for a moment. "Want to go and socialize?"

"No," I smiled in the dark. "Good plan."

"It was yours, remember?"

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes in the dark.

Cock-blocked again and by the same people. They _did_ live here. A shame they were sitting in the living room, we wouldn't have to whisper if they went to their bedroom. Sex wouldn't be possible, but we were stuck like this now. I'd buy a better bed soon, three years had taken its toll. The wood creaked with large movements.

How the hell had we gotten through six hours without noticing? It had surprised me, too, when I checked the time. Bella got here around four, we spent an hour smoking the old stuff. Another few hours we spent just fucking around… yeah, that added up correctly.

"Again I find myself saying, I've been through this before."

My cock was literally aching. I had never wanted anything more in my life than I wanted Bella right this fucking moment. Unlike last time, Bella felt the same. Dark amusement unfurled due to the situation. Would I be a bastard if I played with her a little? She had already looked tired, I remembered from before. There was no way she would be getting a good night's sleep this way. I could take care of myself in the shower later. I doubted she'd do the same seeing as my parents were now home.

"How quiet can you be?" I spoke quietly, the sound barely a whisper along her neck.

The door was open, but I'm sure none of them were staring into my bedroom. They had done the cursory check to make sure we were appropriately attired. If clothes remained on, no harm had been done, at least in their point of view.

"See the pillows I put on your left? Move them so they form a line against your leg, if you can."

Risky, very risky. People moved in their sleep, I used to toss and turn all the time. So long as nothing rhythmic sounded, I figured we'd be alright. It's not as though I wouldn't hear them approaching. I carefully did as Bella suggested.

"You have to go on your back," she added.

"I'm just as skilled in my left hand for this," I clarified.

"Really?" She shook her head impatiently, "I'm not talking about me."

"I know. You're right-handed." What the hell? I was missing something here. If I laid flat on my back, it would be extremely awkward to get my hand where it needed to be. I desperately wanted to go back to what we were doing. Nothing compared to feeling her against my tongue.

"No, Edward," she laughed quietly. If her body wasn't pressed to mine, I wouldn't have known. "I don't want it to be like 'Sex on Fire.' Call it reciprocation."

"They can see us if they choose to look. Your hand would go up and down… and, uh-" I closed my eyes and swallowed hard thinking about it. Her fingernails were painted electric blue. Son of a bitch. No more speaking, I'd show her what I meant. Preparation had its merits, if her jeans weren't undone and down my demonstration would be made a little more difficult.

If I had known her intent, I wouldn't have wasted time with the damn pillows. I felt the familiar warm feeling now that I understood what she meant to do. She was still thinking of me first despite the fact that I had primed her for orgasm.

Going back a few minutes ago, I would have barely gotten a taste before she came for me. Remembering how it felt when her hips ground back on mine, I bit my tongue to keep the bed from creaking. My arm was over her waist, I moved it until my fingers felt silk. Her legs were too closely together. Fucking hell.

"Can you get your jeans down lower? I'd do it for you, but that'd make a _lot_ of noise."

In more ways than one, I sighed and moved my face closer to her neck. My Ipod was still playing, I realized that the room wasn't completely quiet. The only time I wasn't listening to music was during class and that was only because _my_ hair wasn't long enough to hide an ear-bud. I'd have to pay a little attention to the songs. A good majority of them were bass-pounding angry music. There was, however, a chance that one of my slow songs would play. If I timed things badly, we might be heard.

Fuck that. I didn't plan on us being interrupted again. The next time I got a chance, we were going to finish things the right way. I bit gently at the side of her neck and let my teeth close slowly. It helped ease some of my frustration. Feeling Bella shiver and grip the pillow again, I released her skin abruptly and knew she'd moan loudly if we were completely alone. This was going to be really fun.

She had managed to take her pants off. I'd have to ask how she accomplished that sometime when I could watch. The bed didn't move at all, she didn't move her arms. Without wasting time, I ran my hand up her leg. She rested her fingers on top of my arm and I knew there was something she'd just realized.

"Edward, doesn't laying like that hurt you?"

I had to take a moment to study how my body felt. Aroused, check. Perfect temperature, check. In pain? No, oddly. Oh, I understood.

"Remember how I said I'd be fine by today?" I had to laugh quietly at the way things had twisted. "Turns out I didn't lie. Remind me not to white lie to you anymore. Karma corrected things. Thanks to PCP, my ribs really aren't bothering me."

"Uh… sweet."

I had to hold my breath, taking a page from her book, to contain my amusement. Whatever happened, however this ended. I loved her.

**Authors End Note: **  
There it is! Finally! And, see, things really do change from their POV's. I expected it to be misinterpreted due to the way I left that chapter. Now, finally in Edward's mind… he's not an ass, see! And the facts about PCP are true. When smoked, the effects are felt very quickly. I assume the first bad trip Edward had with PCP is because he ingested it in a different way.  
**o  
**Bad trips happen sometimes because the user isn't aware of what's happening to them. Violent memories, a shaky past… all of those things lead to bad side-effects. I wouldn't advise trying it. There have been cases of people pulling out their own teeth and jumping off buildings because they feel no pain. I used that to my advantage in this case because I realized that Edward wouldn't be able to do half of the things they did if his ribs hurt. Okay, he would anyway, but this way I didn't have to write about it, heh. Hope all of you liked this chapter! Sorry it took so long to post. Had trouble with the middle part, and then my car's starter crapped out. Long story short, here it is!

**Authors End Note 2:  
Drkvctry-  
**Hope you liked the way Bella helped talk him down. Thank _you_. =)

**Dazzleglo-  
**Thank you very much! Alice and Bella time _is_ coming soon. They've a lot to catch up on and I'm not sure how much I want to go back over. Not to mention, I want it to be phrased in a different way, you know? They are friends, I like that you mentioned that. I try to keep things realistic, everything considered, and you bring up good points. Thank you again!

**1dreamkeeper, Reyes139, Michicullensky, Krystalwinds1990, Rhi, Dontsayiquit-  
**Hello and thank you to everyone! I love reading your reviews and hearing what you like/don't like. I hope you all like this chapter, too, and I look forward to hearing from you again!

**Fliberty-  
**O.O. So many reviews, haha. Thanks so much! Edward's moods are difficult for me to write sometimes. Hardly anything _really_ pisses him off, but the few things that do? I like the way Bella's turned out, she makes things easier all around. Soon I'll get into _why_ she has such a knack for dealing with intense bad-boys and drug hallucinations.  
**o  
**Charlie, I have to admit, was a relatively boring character when this story started. Generic dad. Then I started thinking of his divorce, the toll it would take on him. Bella has memories of him passing out drunk on the couch for holidays… and what's more paternal than sobering up to take care of his kid? I'm glad it worked out, =D. Thanks for all of the positive support!  
**o  
**Wow! So… much…. Awesomeness. I'm sorry for your keyboard. That you reviewed anyway just stuns me completely! Thank you, thank you!

**Vanquish13-  
**Thanks for leaving so many reviews! I'm glad you like the story so much! And it still amazes me how much people _hate_ Tanya. She was just a name that I pulled based on character description, haha. Such intense reactions, it's been fantastic.

**Ccaajjaa-  
**The only reason I know anything about bears is because my family and I used to go camping in the summer. Saw a bear cub in the tree and had read enough books to get my sister, the dog, and me out of there fucking fast. Where there's a cub, there's usually a pissed-off angry mama bear. 'Shiver. No thanks, heh. I envy your living in England so much, haha.

**Angel04une-  
**Definitely planned, Bella reciprocating. No worries there, I wanted that to be from her POV. Someone mentioned that a lot of my lemony scenes are written in Edward's chapters. I wanted to be sure and give Bella time, =P. You're awesome, thanks!

**Bhekie-  
**I tried to clear up your question in this chapter. I'll also go into more detail about that in the next chapter. There are quite a few unfinished conversations between them and I want to show a different side of what PCP can be like. Thanks for the review!

**GuysGirl3-  
**I'm sorry I missed your PM's! I checked my inbox but the only mail I have I've written back to. =(. Try emailing me if you're so inclined. Drug induced situations are… well, definitely unpredictable. I relate in that regard, I'm sorry for any bad experiences you've gotten through. Thank you for your comments, I deeply appreciate them. Sorry again for the PM'ing trouble, hope to hear from you next chapter!

**SuperYunaKittyFan**-  
Hello, and thanks! I definitely plan on finishing this story to the end, though it scares me that it's winding down toward that point now. In another ten chapters or so… 'sigh. Unless the plot changes from here on out and gives me more to work with, that'd be fantastic. =D.


	29. Stronger

**Chapter 29  
- Stronger  
**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
I got a lot of people saying they wanted this chapter to start where the previous one left off. No worries, I had planned to do that anyway. =) About eight pages of lemons await all of you, thanks for sticking through the emotional mess of the past few chapters!  
**Books Referenced:**  
**The Once and Future King- **T. H. White  
**Catcher In the Rye- **J. D. Salinger  
**On the Road- **Jack Kerouac

**Authors Note 3:**  
I also got a few reviews saying that the room placement is different from what you've imagined. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to bring reality crashing down.  
**Authors Note 4:**  
Love this picture- took awhile to find, but it's exactly what I was looking for. ^_^, ignore the site name. Made me O.o, too, haha.  
**Edward-**  
http:/wouldyoutapthat(dot)files(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2009/06/robert-pattinson-gq-magazine-april(dot)jpg  
**Edward 2:**  
http:/www(dot)hellofm(dot)hu/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/robert-pattinson-gq-magazine-april-2009-04(dot)jpg

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Paper Gangsta- **Lady Gaga  
**Follow Through- **Gavin DeGraw  
**Devour- **Shinedown  
**Stronger- **Kanye West  
**Re-Education (Through Labor)- **Rise Against  
**Rumors-** Lindsay Lohan (  
Blame this on one of my friends who has a preoccupation with her. The number of times I've seen her music videos… nice revenge for all of mine.)  
**Fear Of Dying- **Jack off Jill  
**The Addict-** Papa Roach

**Bella's Point of View**

I was exhausted yet fine both mentally and physically no matter that the night had been a whirlwind of activity. I really wish Alice, Jasper, and Edward's parents had been detained another half an hour. There was nothing I wanted more than to close his door. I'd drag Edward over with me and have him against it. Short and sweet, we could be done by the time anyone came to investigate. It was difficult to breathe, I wanted him so much. He had been so fucking close to being inside of me, and he wasn't hurting due to PCP. It was still a really bad idea, but with my body throbbing… if he said it was fine, fuck everything else.

When we were able to actually finish what had been started, it would be fucking phenomenal. That was the only thought making all of this bearable. I felt really fucking bad that this happened to Edward _again_. We really, really needed to talk _after_ sex. Though, to be fair, before twenty minutes ago I had planned to stick with waiting until he was completely healed.

His hand ventured under my silk panties and I forgot to be still. My hips bucked, thankfully I had stayed quiet. The bed didn't creak, we were safe.

"Fast?"

"Hell yes," I turned my face so that his neck would muffle any sounds. He laughed quietly, but moved his fingers lower. I was embarrassingly wet, if I'd time I would have taken leave to the bathroom first.

"You're… _fuck_…" he inhaled sharply and growled low in his throat. No more mortification, just heat. A wave of it started from where his hand was resting and moved swiftly upward. It was seeking release and I couldn't obtain that for myself. He was in control of this situation and _fuck me_ if that didn't turn me on more.

I remembered the way his tongue had felt on my chest. Sucking, biting, small flashes of pain that made me writhe. His tongue was an amazing thing. For fucking hours it felt like Edward had brought me higher. A haze of lust and want, needing to feel him closer to me, wanting to physically show him everything I felt. I was now at breaking point.

Everyone's return, which we should have anticipated, hadn't done anything to calm me down. In fact, a small part of me found our situation to be really… hot. The door was open, they'd be able to see us if they truly looked. Was this wrong? How much did I really care? Not at all, apparently.

He loved it when I used my nails on him. I'd rake them down his back if I could. The way his eyes closed and rolled back, sometimes I could even make him shudder. I did it on purpose just to see his eyes bleed to deep green. Fierce and possessive, he'd look down at me for a split-second before all control was thrown aside. My pulse picked up speed. I felt frantic just thinking about the things we had done. Most of them had taken place outside, go figure. Exhibitionist, much? In the meadow, outside of school and underneath the fucking window? Still some of the best experiences of my life. Like now, the adrenaline rush felt the same.

"Edward, please. Please just-"

He shifted slightly so that his arm rested across my hip. Two of his fingers slid across my clit. Sure and firm, he was still breathing heavily despite his concentration being on me. It wasn't nearly enough, but this was the best I could hope for. Anything would be preferable over trying to find sleep in my current condition.

"This what you wanted?"

I didn't need to answer. If I spoke, I'd gibber a mix of 'yes' and 'more' and 'now.' The pressure in my lower body intensified. This was exactly what I needed. Edward knew what he was doing. He trapped my right leg under his thigh. I wouldn't be able to move now; what was he doing to me? We were supposed to be quiet and he was making me want to scream.

My fingers hurt I was gripping the blanket so hard. I felt light-headed as my body strained to go over the edge. So motherfucking close, he moved faster, I felt his knuckles rubbing against silk. _Shit_. His knuckles were still healing. Stop him, don't stop him? There was no time left to make a decision. I held my breath again and came hard as he pressed down and rubbed a small circle over the tip of my clit. He kissed me quickly and I had to hold back cries of relief. I'd have bitten through my lip if Edward hadn't interceded.

"Mmm…" I moved so that his head rested above mine. Lassitude, satisfaction… I felt so fucking good. "Edward, your hand…"

"Shh," he interrupted my whispering. "I'm not done yet. Stop thinking so much."

He hadn't moved and I was still more than a little aroused. I had adjusted to being with Edward. Once was never enough, he always made sure I got off at least twice if not three times. He had stopped after five or six the last time. It was more than I had ever expected from a guy, yet he hadn't thought it was that big of a deal. If he put his mind to it, what was the point in which _he_ became tired? I had a feeling that, while I satisfied him, he hadn't tapped into his sexual repertoire yet.

"You're not… what?"

"Done yet," he repeated cryptically.

I felt his arm behind my head tense. He wanted to move. I lifted my neck slightly and had to bite back some swear words as our actions forced his fingers firmly against me again. Without realizing it, I had followed his unspoken signal to lay on my back.

He held me close to him with his hand on my shoulder. The top of my head touched his collarbone, his nipple piercing was somewhere near my chin. He was still on his side leaning far back on the pillows so that we were both comfortable and had plenty of room.

"Uh…?" Edward took that as consent and I barely held back my shocked groan. One of his fingers slid into me. Thrusting in and out, the palm of his hand brushed against the front of me. I had waited so long for the first orgasm, when it finally came, the sensation was so pleasurable it was nearly painful. Satisfaction had been all-consuming, but I had been left aching to feel him as we intended before the massive interruption. My body instantly reacted to the new sensations he was causing. He rubbed lightly at my g-spot and I saw white flashes of light. My leg started twitching and I grabbed his arm to stop him for a moment. I moved my knee and let him go, I'd start laughing otherwise.

"Good point," he paused. "Hang on a moment."

I was trembling as he moved his hand out from under my panties. This wasn't over, I didn't need to grab him and whimper for more. If there was any doubt in my mind that he felt no pain, it was erased as he reached behind his head. Digging under his pillow, he finally located what he had been searching for.

He smiled in the darkness and raised an eyebrow at me in question. I knew he slept with a knife under his pillow. He had considerately put one under mine the second night I stayed over. Nodding minutely, I felt the cold steel handle on my stomach as he opened it. He would never hurt me. There had been plenty of proof tonight. Drugged and feeling violent, Edward had held me as I talked him through it.

"I'll buy you new sets of lingerie, I swear."

"Once they're all gone, I'll start going commando. I've got plenty of bras..."

The blade sliced through silk easily. I shivered feeling the pointed tip near my thigh. He held it facing outward, the line of metal against my skin was completely flat not curved. I should have known, he would never cut through my clothing without anticipating accidents.

He moved my leg so that it was bent in a triangle with the side of my knee resting against the bed. I don't know what happened to the knife, I was too distracted with his hand running up and down my thigh. My skin twitched with every feather-light touch and I tried to keep my hips still.

If he were on top of me, I was in the perfect position for maximum penetration. He'd be inside, deep as he could go, and… my eyes rolled back in my head as he resumed what he'd been doing. I couldn't keep quiet, not if he kept rubbing hard on my g-spot like this. I was going to shatter. It would be loud and completely satisfying; how the hell was I supposed to hold this back? Edward seemed to understand my problem.

"When you come," he whispered. "Bite me… here."

Couldn't speak, couldn't think. His thumb was circling around and around my clit without touching it. I gripped his arm and raised my body slightly each time he curled his fingers inside of me. He was skirting the border between too much and not enough. I was almost afraid to orgasm. What if I screamed? And he wanted me to bite him? We had done worse than that, but I didn't understand his motivation this time.

"Bella," he groaned quietly. "I can feel you shaking. I know how badly you want this. Just… give… in…"

With each word he slowed down a little. He moved his thumb slowly from the base of my clit to the tip, a little more pressure as he circled, and then repeated the motion. Climax surged upward from where his fingers thrust in and out, rubbing and twisting. I whispered his name to keep my mind from breaking under all of the sounds I was keeping locked inside. He took me higher, up and over, far beyond anything I had experienced with him before. What the fuck was he doing to me?

Heat, fire, electricity, god, fuck, more? My teeth found skin and bit down hard. It took all of my self-control not to allow my jaw to close completely. He closed his eyes, lashes fluttering as I let him go. After-shocks rippled through me and they felt like mini-orgasms, light and sweet, tantalizing… perfect. His fingers continued to move lightly drawing my climax out until there was nothing left. Before I could beg him to stop, he drew his hand slowly away from me and back on top of the comforter.

I felt sluggish. So happy and so fucking tired. I couldn't fall asleep yet, it was my turn to make him feel just as good. Edward wrapped his arm around me and put one of his legs over mine.

"Sleep, babe. You were so fucking tired before…" his voice sounded as though he was far away. My vision was blurred so I closed my eyes and gathered strength I didn't have. I needed, and really wanted, to do this for him. He had made me feel so good, it couldn't be comfortable for him to try and sleep this way.

"No, not yet. Don't you want to-"

"Don't I want to… fall asleep with you?" He interrupted me, "The drugs are catching up with me, too. Rest first, sex later, alright?"

He pulled me closer to him so that I could feel him breathing deeply on my neck. His pulse wouldn't be so calm if he were still unbearably aroused. How he wasn't, I had no clue. I fell asleep with him so often that when I actually made it home and to my bed, I found myself missing him. He was comforting. His presence, this room- it was one of the reasons I never suggested we head to my house instead. Anything we could want was here. Between his stereo, the television, pot, alcohol, a stocked refrigerator… we never ran out of things to do. His bed was bigger, if we hung out in my room, we'd have to crowd together on my twin-sized mattress. It would lead to some interesting positions, but we'd be cramped and uncomfortable after an hour.

I actually felt safe here. Charlie was a cop, he had a multitude of guns stored away in his room… but once he was home, he relaxed. There was part of me that was never calm. Only around Edward and I knew he felt the same. I loved falling asleep wrapped up in his blanket with him at my back.

This position was actually unusual. I woke up, usually, to find myself curled up against his back, one of my hands at the waistband of whatever he chose to sleep in. I wasn't complaining, but this change was… nice. A surge of emotion caught me off-guard and I laced my hand with his.

"I really do love you, you know."

"I know," he squeezed my fingers gently. "Sweet dreams, babe."

His tone wasn't hesitant, I didn't need reinforcement. We had managed to progress past all of that. I was comfortable with the way things were, hasty utterances withstanding. And with that I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to find Edward curled around me. Yawning, I looked around the room. The sun was just coming up. Fuck. We must have fallen asleep really early last night. It couldn't be more than five in the morning. Much as I hated being awake before my alarm went off, I sort-of liked the crisp feeling of morning. Thinking about the cold that awaited me outside of this house, I wanted to bury myself back under the warm covers and hibernate until Spring.

The reason Edward was so close to me… not that I minded in the slightest, was because I had stolen the blankets. I carefully eased out from under the comforter and tucked it around him as best I could. He was an incredibly light sleeper and I didn't want to wake him unintentionally. Lately, I had been able to move out from underneath, or on top of him, without causing him to awaken. My body was a little sore and I desperately wanted to brush my teeth, but I had no complaints whatsoever. Whomever had designed this house was a genius.

The lights in his bathroom dimmed. One could set the intensity by turning a knob on the wall. That way, while stumbling around in the dark, my eyes wouldn't be burned out of my head by abrupt halogen lighting. I eased the door closed quietly and had to take a moment when I saw my reflection.

I was just waking up. Thank fuck I had gotten to the bathroom before Edward. No one needed to be subjected to… this. My hair was still soft and shiny, it was the only saving factor. Eye-shadow and liner had drifted down my face, my lipstick was non-existent except for one corner of my mouth which was stained red. _Gorgeous. Truly._ Nothing like seeing a horrendous fiend staring back at me in the mirror first thing in the morning.

While brushing my teeth, I used a few pieces of dampened toilet paper to repair some of the damage. By the time I was done, a thin layer of black eye-liner seemed permanently stuck underneath my eyes. It didn't look awful, but I'd have to fix things before I left the house.

Whenever Edward used the shower, I never heard anything. I started the water and moved over to the door, he was still fast asleep. Good. I stepped under the water and not even the too-hot temperature didn't diminish my smile. Part of me really liked the idea of using his shower. The soap he used, shampoo, he had bought me conditioner… was it wrong to be pleased that I'd gotten space in his bathroom?

I finished quickly not wanting to focus on what had happened last time I was here with him. An idea had formed and I wanted to see it to fruition before he woke. Steam had fogged his mirror, I laughed quietly when I saw designs he had drawn. It was so easy to picture him shaving and drawing stick-figures or random shapes. I left a note for him in the center of the mirror so that it wouldn't interfere with his border. He could wipe it clean afterward and have that much more space in the future.

I wrapped my hair in a towel and slipped into a shirt he had conveniently left on the sink. I'd do laundry later and return some of his clothes. I didn't know if Edward had been joking or not when he said I was stealing all of his shirts. As much as I'd like to see him go everywhere shirtless, it would probably be frowned upon by everyone else. It was an incredibly girl-friendly thing to do, but common courtesy wouldn't allow me to make him wash them. That'd just be… wrong.

Making sure to dim the lights even further before I opened the door, I kept my eyes closed so they'd adjust to the change faster. I barely saved myself from walking into the glass. Yeah, that had been graceful. I was, however, quite proud of myself. Edward helped keep me anchored firmly to the ground. It had been a month and a half, the number of times I'd tripped could be counted on one hand.

The house was dark, I closed the door and crept silently toward the bed. He was on his back, the blanket gathered in his arms. The button on his pants was undone and the zipper was partially down already. That solved one of my problems, I'd been wondering how I could get his pants undone without rousing him.

The bed might creak, but his mattress was still in good condition. I could probably jump on it and not bother him. Holding my breath, I eased him out of the cargo shorts. Unaroused, Edward was still impressive. His legs weren't spread enough for me to kneel between so I did the next best thing. Situated at his side, I bent my head and got comfortable. I used soft and light touches so I wouldn't jolt him awake. When I felt his flesh harden, I took him further into my mouth. It was a sensation unlike any other. Rationality won over enthusiasm, I nearly choked and had to back off a little bit.

"What the… _fuck_, Bella."

I gripped him with one hand gently and started an up and down motion while twisting my wrist slightly. He groaned quietly and touched my hair. If he had said someone else's name… I don't know what would have happened. Thankfully that wasn't an issue. I must be doing something right if he woke with my name on his lips.

"G'morning," I grinned in the darkness.

"_Fuck yes_," his hips bucked and I lowered my head again.

He was awake and I didn't plan on teasing him. Breathing through my nose, I took him deep as I could. The tip of his cock touched the back of my throat and I had to close my eyes. Concentration was key here, I could do this. I ignored my gag-reflex and did a mental happy-dance. He seemed to really like what I was doing. His fingers tangled in my hair and he gripped the mattress with his other hand.

I used the flat of my tongue and slid it over the head of his cock each time I moved upward. He filled my mouth completely, I swallowed reflexively and heard him groan again. When I did it a second and third time he shuddered. I knew his body by now and I remembered what he liked. Multi-tasking was something I had always been good with. He was thrusting his hips slightly and I took advantage of that. I moved between his thighs without needing to stop.

Bracing my hands on either side of him I started a hard, fast pace that I knew he'd love. His body tensed, I felt his muscles grow taut. He was close, I exhaled around his cock and made the back of my throat vibrate. It was like growling and moaning at the same time. I had read the suggestion a long time ago and this was the first time I was trying it. I felt him grow harder and knew he was close. His breathing was heavy and he had thrown the blanket to the side. I brought my right hand back up because the pace he needed wasn't something I could sustain with my mouth alone.

"Going to…"

I took a deep breath and allowed him to stretch the muscles in my throat. He came and I gripped his hip to keep from being dislodged. I swallowed him down, salty and sweet at the same time, I moved my lips lightly over his shaft and sucked gently at the head of his cock to prolong his orgasm. Only when I was sure he was completely done did I allow him to slide out of my mouth.

"C'mere," he pulled me up so I was laying next to him.

I was closest to his bedside table and near the edge of his bed, but he held me securely so I needn't fear falling off the side. He liked to wake and bake- that wasn't going to happen today. I reached for the pack of cigarettes and the small tin next to and menthol, damn, that was a strong combination.

"You don't need to warn me, you know. I can tell when you're…" I trailed off meaningfully.

"Habit," he took my cigarette and took two drags before handing it back to me. "I dunno, once… uh, anyway, I got the hint that it was a huge deal. I've always made sure to give some warning."

"I wasn't protesting. I just didn't want you to feel that it was necessary. I'm not going anywhere," I smiled. "Don't interrupt what you're feeling on my account."

He laughed and smoked in silence for a moment. "I don't know what to say."

"Round two for you?"

"No," he sighed heavily. "Do that again and I won't be getting up for school. How long have you been awake?"

"Not sure. It's a lot lighter out now, at any rate. I promised that to you awhile ago and I remembered in time. Go shower, I'm going to work on another of my promises."

"What would that be?"

"Breakfast," I smiled. "Your parents aren't awake yet and I know everyone likes waffles."

"Come shower with me and then I'll make them with you."

"By that time, they'll be awake," I pointed out. "I want to jump the gun, so to speak. Take your time, enjoy yourself. It's not a huge deal, really. I'm used to cooking in the morning."

"Alright," he said after a minute. "Want to do me a huge favor?"

"Maybe… yes?"

"Add ice-cream to mine? It's really fucking unhealthy, but it's so good. We've got plenty in the freezer, I like anything that's in there."

"No problem." I took one last drag of the cigarette before handing it back over for him to keep. It took some searching but I finally located my jeans that were hiding in the covers.

"Thanks," he grinned while stretching. Oh yeah, that sight would be sticking with me for awhile.

After brushing my teeth again, I'd feel uncomfortable talking with Edward's parents otherwise, I gathered the ingredients I'd need. They had absolutely everything including vanilla and almond extract. I separated the batter into three bowls so that I could make sure some of them were plain. Cooking made for good thinking time. Men did their thinking in the bathroom, I did mine in the kitchen.

Edward had relaxed enough around me that I could use the words he didn't like. He didn't pause or hesitate after I said, 'Mom, 'Dad,' and 'parents.' I still covered my eyes and flinched when I remembered our conversation on the subject. Things ended well, but if Edward didn't care about me as much as he did…

"_Do you mind when I call Charlie my father?" I asked having felt his hesitation when I used parental terms. _

"_Uh, no…" Edward glanced over at me. "He _is_, isn't he?" _

"_Well, yeah, but I got the feeling you'd prefer if I didn't." _

"_No, that doesn't have anything to do with other people's preferences. It's a personal one, that's all." _

"_Mind if I ask why?" _

"_Bella-" his eyes flashed in warning. It was unintentional, he immediately focused on something to the left of me. _

"_I know, sorry. This wasn't supposed to become a fight, I asked only because I didn't want to accidentally offend you." _

"_Yeah," he ran a hand through his hair. "My role-models weren't fantastic. I associate words like 'Dad' and 'Mom' with people that didn't know how to be humans let alone parents. So for me to call someone by those terms, it's like I'm saying… 'Hey, you're awful people.'" _

"_You really believe that?" _

"_My _Dad _was an abusive asshole who beat children and women. My _Mom _was… I don't even know. Some __days I hate her, other days I regret never taking the time to know her. Together they made my life hell. If he wasn't knocking the hell out of me, she was in her room with the door locked. So, long story short, any _parents _I've had were really shitty people." _

"_If I adapted that mentality, you'd stab me in the back or hurt me." _

"_What the _fuck_?" _

"_My track record with boyfriends hasn't been great. I use the term 'boyfriend' lightly in this case, and I don't associate you with any of them. I'm just saying, if I took the negative association with words like you do, I'd never trust anyone again. My mother chose her boyfriend over me in every situation that mattered. Charlie, Dad, was passed out drunk on the couch more times than I'd like to remember." _

"_So you understand, then?" _

"… _I still call them Mom and Dad. I love them both. Dad's winning the 'good parent' race as of now, I couldn't be more happy with our relationship. Things change, they get better. If you're living in a house you call home, with people who care about you… why not give them the proper title, as it was meant to be?" _

"_It's really fucking- damnit," he lit a cigarette and offered it to me without looking in my direction. "I answered your question." _

"_You did," I agreed. "We can end the conversation here if you want." _

"_No we can't," he glared at nothing. "I hate leaving things unresolved. What exactly do you want me to do?" _

"_Nothing. I'm not using that in a girly way, you know, saying 'nothing' when I really mean 'do something without me having to tell you." _

"_Of course," he half-smiled. "That's not your style." _

"_Right. I just wanted to give you another point of view to consider." _

"_Duly noted." _

"_Edward…" _

"_If it weren't you-" he sighed sharply. "If I call Carlisle, Dad, and Esme, Mom; will it make you happy?" _

"_I'm not making the point for me," I insisted. "I'd love to say yes so you realize how easy it can be, but it's not my decision to make. If either of them called you 'son' you'd flip the fuck out, right? But deep down… wouldn't it be kind of nice? You belong, there's no doubt about it. Hearing Charlie say he's proud of me, despite all of the things he doesn't know, it makes me… happy." _

"_I can't do that to them. I'll fuck things up somehow. They've done so much for me and Alice, I sure as fuck wouldn't have let me in the house. They know I appreciate it and I'll keep them all safe at any cost. I call the house 'home' because that's what it is." _

_ Edward _did _understand, I just wasn't sure if he had connected how he felt with the way his way of thinking. I could absolutely relate. It had taken me a long time to accept everything that had happened and forgive the people that hurt me. _

"_I wish you'd have been here when we first moved in," Edward changed the subject. "Alice and Esme went absolutely fucking crazy buying furniture, fabric, flooring, paint." He shook his head and smiled at the memory, "So many fucking trips to the store. I rented one of those small U-haul trucks because they had so damn _much _that they wanted to buy. And I went with them because it made'em happy. Hell, it made me happy, too, I'm not going to lie." _

"_That's good," I rested my hand on his arm and was glad that he didn't move away. "The first time you said 'home' in front of Esme and Carlisle, how did they react?" _

"_Carlisle clapped me on the back and Esme looked like she was going to cry. So yea, uh, it was fucking weird. I hate when girls cry. It really fucking bothers me. I bought her a painting I knew she liked… Explain it to me, what can I buy that will make her happy? I know she doesn't mean to cry, she always hugs me and appreciates it after… but I really don't understand. She tries to hide it, but I can see- I have no fucking clue…" _

"_Why does it bother you when people cry?" _

"_Not people," he shook his head. "I couldn't give a lesser crap if I saw some guy bawling on the street, you know? But a female? I don't know, it just feels... wrong somehow. There was one teacher, when I was younger, she used to give me books to read. It was the nicest thing anyone had done for me. One day, she comes into school with bruises on her arm. She had been mugged not abused as I originally thought."_

_ He cycled through the songs on his Ipod, buying time, until he found what he'd been looking for. I wasn't going to interrupt, there was more to this story. If he wanted to change music to keep from being bogged down by memories, I had no problem waiting. _

"_She learned, somehow, that I was being transferred to another school. Big fucking deal, right? She gave me a copy of 'Catcher in the Rye,' 'On the Road,' and 'The Once and Future King.' I struggled through the books, but she had given them to me and I wanted to know why. She said that the world was full of awful people, people that didn't deserve to live. If I were to remain one of the good guys, it would mean something. So much for that. She was a good teacher, though, one of the few that truly gave a damn." _

"_Edward, you don't think that by practicing the different forms of chivalry present in those books… you _are _a good person?" _

"_I don't even want to hear about that from you. Yet," he added. "When you can look me in the eye and tell me you're a good, innocent, fuck awesome person… then you can ask me that again." _

_ Well, fuck. Fine. Another discussion for a different day. "I'm not the subject of this conversation." _

"_Right," he agreed. "Esme was." _

"_She wasn't sad." It broke my heart that I still needed to enlighten him to that fact. "People cry for different reasons, it doesn't always mean they're sad." _

"_That's… insane." _

"_So are people," I smiled at him to ease some of the tension. "I don't normally cry so, yea, it's a weird thing for me to admit. Still, real parents are good that way. They love you." _

_ I literally felt him jump, his eyes bled to gray and I thought he was going to walk away. We were on the brink of something, though. If our relationship ended now, but he was able to take that last step that would turn them all into a family… didn't I need to try? _

"_Look, I might be wrong. You never know. I'd bet anything you want that I'm not. Just… try it sometime, if you feel the time is right. Throw one of those words out there and see what their reaction is. Worst case scenario, they don't have one. Best case? All of this worrying is for nothing." _

"_Yeah, maybe," he snorted. _

"_I've never seen you shirk from anything. You like it here, no?" _

"_Yeah, I really fucking do." _

"_And you care about Esme and Carlisle, Alice? You've told Alice you love her, right?" _

"_Of course. She had people that loved her. I told her every damn day so she'd never feel alone. She's my sister and I couldn't give her a good life so, at the very least, I could make it easier for her. No matter what we went through, I made sure she knew I'd never leave her." _

_ Well, fuck. Part of that statement gnawed at me painfully. 'So she'd never feel alone;' how long had Edward felt that way? Judging from what he'd said, no one had ever taken the time to say 'I love you.' It wouldn't be the same coming from me, romantic love wasn't what he had needed. What he still needed. _

"_You're going to be one hell of a psychologist one day," he said finally. _

"_Can't I just be your really good friend? Ill-advised, stupid, and blunt, but I've got your back." _

"_It's not ill-advised or stupid," he narrowed his eyes at me. "Truth hurts." _

"_I don't want to hurt you." _

"_You didn't," he flicked his cigarette butt out onto the pavement. "I just… let's go. We should get high, don't you think?" _

_ That same day, Edward had tested my theory. He called Carlisle 'Dad' and seemed to be pleased with how things played out. I hadn't heard him use the words again, but he said 'parents' more easily now. We didn't smoke up after, either. _

"Bella! This is… amazing!"

I spun around and saw a very shocked Esme standing in the doorway. The food was nearly done, I had put syrup and jam on the table in case someone was counting calories. If they had low-fat butter, I'd have used that to cook with.

I set things up buffet style. Three plates of waffles, I had taken two flavors of ice-cream out of the freezer to dethaw a little. I knew Edward liked when it was more liquid than solid. The heat from the Waffle Maker would help with that, but if no one could scoop it out of the container, it wouldn't matter.

"You do this for us all the time," I shrugged. "And I never made cookies like I'd promised. So… if you guys don't eat this early, I can cover what's left after Edward and Alice eat…"

"Thank you, Bella," she interrupted gently. "I'm actually needed at the hospital earlier than usual. You saved me a lot of time. Everything looks fantastic, where did you learn to cook so well?"

"My mom, mostly. I was in charge of our meals back when I lived in Phoenix. Charlie likes when I cook, too. Waffles are easy… and, uh…" I opened the griddle and put the last of the almond flavored ones onto the plate. "If there are any left, I'll take some to Dad before school. I doubt he's eaten this morning, at least nothing healthy."

I was rambling like an idiot. I had been around the Cullens long enough that my nervousness made me chatter instead of going silent. I was comfortable around them, which made me contradictorily _un_comfortable.

The doorbell rang and Alice emerged from her room fully dressed. Jasper was here, I should have known from the sound of his truck. They hugged briefly before heading toward the kitchen. Alice stopped speaking mid-sentence when she saw me in the kitchen. Jasper's eyebrow raised and his jaw fell open a little bit. Esme made food all the time; what was the huge deal?

"Um... wow," Jasper stared.

To make things that much more unreal, Edward added his opinion to the mix.

"Sorry, babe," he laughed. "Just, er, well… this is breakfast?"

"Yeah… looks more like dessert, right? You wanted ice-cream, remember?" I reminded him, defending myself at the same time. All of this attention was making me edgy.

"Staring isn't digesting, people. Let's eat before it gets cold," Alice smiled at me apologetically. I'd have to give her a hug later. Thank fuck for the help in diffusing this situation.

We finished breakfast without anything else too mortifying happening. Carlisle, freshly shaven and dressed in a dark blue shirt that really brought out his eyes, complimented my cooking skills, too. I told him he looked good, much to everyone's amusement. Geez. I didn't mean that I wanted to be all over him or anything, but that particular shirt _did_ look really nice!

Alice pulled me into her bedroom to help repair my make-up situation. She gave me a different shirt to wear saying that if there were pictures of me in the yearbook, she'd be damned if I'd be wearing a nearly nude Carmen Electra shirt in them. I had nothing against Electra and the shirt smelled like Edward.

Her black tank top with a lime-green, short-sleeved, leopard print zipper shirt over it _was_ really cute. With clean jeans, sexy black heels, and my hair pulled back in a black bandanna; I looked good. I especially liked that she shadowed my eyes in light green. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was shocked to see that the light reflected off the shirt and made my boring brown eyes seem hazel.

We scheduled a girls night and I was really looking forward to it. Alice and I desperately needed a night to ourselves. It had been way too long since the two of us hung out and talked about things that everyone else would find boring. Jasper and Edward could find a way to entertain themselves for a night, right?

Edward had no problem stopping at the police station. He waited in the parking lot while I ran a huge Tupperware container in. Esme had given me a basket of muffins and a huge thermos of coffee for everyone else working today. It was a great idea, I thanked her profusely. I didn't occur to me that it'd be considered rude for Charlie to eat a huge breakfast in front of people he worked with.

"Its against the law to bribe police officers," Dad grinned while tucking a napkin into his shirt. "What inspired this?"

"Did you eat this morning?"

"What's that?" He looked behind me. I completely fell for it.

"What?" I glanced back at him in time to see a beef jerky bag disappear into his drawer. "No way. Really? That's so _bad_ for you."

"Damnit," he laughed. "Fine, you caught me. Thanks for breakfast, kiddo."

"No problem," I hugged him impulsively. "I'll see you later, alright? Be safe."

"Of course. You still have that pepper spray I gave you?"

"Yes, Dad. In my bag, no worries. What do you feel like for dinner?"

"Up to you, really. We could go to the diner, if you want?"

"Or I could make hamburgers…"

"Nope," he shook his head immediately. "I'll grill if we're having hamburgers. It's not a burger if they're cooked on the stove-top."

"Alright," I agreed. He did have a really good point. "We can have green bean casserole and macaroni salad as sides..."

"Invite Edward." Charlie rubbed his chin, "Why not, right? You eat over there all the time, we can make him a home-cooked meal for a change."

"Uh… sure. Leave the guns here, promise?"

"I'll be good. Get to school, I could always escort the two of you there. It'd get you off the hook…"

"We're not late," I interrupted quickly. "No need to do that. I'm sure everyone's plenty busy here."

"I'd always make time for you, Bells."

"Now, now, Chief. Don't go on makin' this pretty lil' girl blush." Waylon interrupted in the midst of eating his third muffin. "If''n you don't want them waffles, hand'em over. _I_ appreciate a nice girl's cookin.'"

"Aw, I'd make food for you anytime," I kissed him on the cheek.

Waylon Forge was harmless. In his mid-fifties, he had been one of Charlie's fishing buddies as far back as I could remember. While Charlie and Renee went through their divorce, though he didn't know how to comfort a troubled ten-year-old, he brought me back shiny pebbles from fishing trips. While my parents argued in the kitchen- because Charlie was late coming back or he hadn't told her about the trip in the first place- Waylon would hold the rocks up to a window and distract me with reflective colors. He had played Santa in Forks' Christmas Pageant a few times, too.

"Get on outta here 'fore Charlie searches your young man's car."

"Is there any illicit paraphernalia to find?"

"No, Dad," I laughed. "See you guys soon, thanks Waylon."

"A way to any man's heart…" he rubbed his stomach and saluted me with another muffin.

"Got it," I saluted him back and skipped down the steps to Edward's car.

My Ipod was hooked into his car's speakers and he was rifling through some of the songs. He looked pleased with what he saw, and I hoped that he hadn't looked at my Random Playlist. That was the one with all of my girl music and I'd named it because people, when looking through my music, always seemed to skip anything not titled concretely.

"I was wondering why I was so comfortable," Edward said as he got out of the car to open my door. "You put my seat back in its proper position."

"Well, yea… it's your car, you know?"

"No, I mean you lined it up, perfectly adjusted…" he was still taking, but I couldn't hear him being inside of the car while he walked back around to his side. "… and thank you."

"I looked at the grooves on the carpet. Truth be told, my lipstick rolled out of my bag. It was closed, don't worry. While hunting for it, I saw them. I remembered, it was a lucky moment, and it wasn't difficult to slide everything back the way you had it."

He pulled out of the parking space carefully instead of sending gravel flying. Only when we were back on the road, after checking his rear-view mirror carefully, did we go over eighty miles an hour. I had been at the Station for far longer than it felt. We wouldn't be late, not with the way _he _drove. The lot was quiet when Edward pulled effortlessly into the marked lines. I checked my hair and face in the mirror and was amused to see him unbuttoning his shirt. He looked really fucking good today. Wearing a form-fitting, black button-up shirt, a new pair of black jeans, and a plain belt without his usual spikes, it was rare to see this side of Edward.

I wondered if Alice had helped with his outfit. Edward's style was usually more badass… less GQ. He looked like a model, the type of guy I'd have been afraid to speak with once-upon-a-time. Now, he was mine. It wasn't difficult for me to keep my self-confidence up. The possessive look on his face was all for me. I was the perfect height for him to wrap his arm around my waist when we walked together.

"Oh _shit_." Well, I understood why he had chosen that particular shirt. Aside from teasing me with glimpses of his hipbones- the shirt was shorter than the ones he normally wore- the bite mark I had left on his chest was really, really visible.

"Want me to hide it?"

"Want me to make it darker?" I closed the door behind me and got over to Edward's side as he did the same.

His smile was instantly wicked. He leaned backwards against the Volvo and held his arms out in a surrendering motion. Oh my fuck. I moved closer and licked across the warm expanse of his chest. Tipping my head up slightly, I saw him looking down at me. I sucked gently over the mark and his lashes fluttered. Using my tongue, I applied pressure in waves. It brought blood to the surface, like when he left hickeys on my skin. I had actually gotten this technique from him. Using my teeth, I worried the flesh and used more suction. This was bruising the skin without the normal pain caused by such marks.

"You like?" I stepped back and admired my work.

"Always."'

So what if we were five minutes late? I knew the Pledge of Allegiance, I'd get a job soon and honor Uncle Sam.

"Yesterday your ribs didn't hurt. How do you feel today?"

"Pretty good, actually," he grinned. "Pushups are going to be a bitch, but I'm back to normal, babe."

"... You took gym class?" They were playing hockey for fuck's sake! I had seen the nets set up and was really glad that it was Health class time. I'd have to keep that in mind for next marking period. I planned on spending hockey time in the library. I'd read a book about the sport if the teacher planned on giving a test.

"Yeah… why not?" He really had no clue. What the fuck. If I found out that any of the guys in his class tried to take advantage of the pain he was in… no, that was improbable. God forbid Edward Cullen show pain. I instantly felt bad. It's not as though he had a choice in the matter. Being able to withstand what he had, I could see his point. What were a few bruised ribs in comparison?

"You're insane, you know that?"

"I've been told," he laughed. "Last bad trip, come to think of it."

**o . o . o**

I had studied Mike Newton for what remained of home-room. He waved nervously at me, but only because he was an awkward human being. I didn't see any sign of guilt or added fear. He had no idea the weed was laced. I tried telling Edward that throughout lunch. He kept distracting me, adding marks to match his own, and trying to get my clothes off.

Now that school was over, I kept forgetting to defend Newton what with Edward's roving hands, I needed to fill him in. I felt his body tense, we were near my locker. Before I could locate the source of his hostility, Edward was gone.

I heard Mike squeak and watched, seemingly in slow-motion, as Edward pinned him to the wall. "We need to talk," he said.

"Uh- er-" he lost the ability to speak as Edward pushed his hand further against Mike's neck.

"Leave," he said lethally to Newton's friends.

"Don't you want to have this conversation somewhere a little more… private?" I quickly got to them and rested my hand on Edward's elbow. Without alerting anyone to what I was doing, I pressed my fingertips into his skin. He got what I was trying to do, the pressure on Mike's neck slackened marginally.

"You _fucked_ with me, motherfucker. I'm giving you one chance to explain yourself. Did you fuck with me on purpose?"

"I, I don't know what you're talking about, man. Look, here, okay?" He pulled out his wallet and ripped cash out from the inside. "Take it, all of it. Sorry, alright?"

Edward took the money but kept a firm hold on Mike who was struggling to bolt for his life. He was holding nearly six hundred dollars in his hand. Why the fuck did Mike carry so much on him at one time? Forks was safe, but… jesus christ.

"Bella? We're going to step into the Men's room for a little chat. Would you mind excusing us for a minute?"

Mike looked positively panicked, Edward was quietly angry. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. I had never seen him this enraged without beating the crap out of something. He had gone through hell and I was pretty sure there would be no deaths today…

"By all means. I want to speak with him when you're through… making your point clear."

"No problem, babe." His smile was ice-cold as he opened the bathroom door and shoved Newton through it. Two guys ran out, one of them was still adjusting his fly. As I debated whether or not I wanted to stick around or step outside for a cigarette, I heard two unmistakably irritating voices coming from the stairwell. The halls had cleared very quickly. Curiosity aside, no one here had spine enough to stick around with Edward in such a volatile mood.

"This is going in the yearbook. Her Dad's going to flip out, you know? The Chief's daughter doing the nasty with Edward Cullen at school."

I froze, my insides felt like they were encased in ice. Was this how deer felt when I rounded a corner and blinded them with my headlights? My truck didn't go fast enough for me to pose a threat to them. I, on the other hand, had no thirty-second window to jump out of the way.

"They're, like, doing it on the dance-floor. He's got her bent over… oh my _god_."

"I know we had a theme, but do you see those fucking things on her neck? And did you see Edward today? His chest was… how could she _do_ that to him? She doesn't deserve him, crazy bitch."

"Like vampires, right?"

"Uh, yeah, Jess. That was my point."

The dance-floor? As in, inside school? Oh thank fuck. Now that I knew there weren't actually pictures of Edward and I fucking outside of the building, I was seriously pissed. Those two bitches had managed to scare me? No fucking way.

"We could totally frame that with a mental institution for the background," Lauren laughed caustically. "Did you hear about that? I knew she was insane, didn't I tell you?"

That was it. Bringing Charlie into things was the last fucking straw. Talking about my visit to the Valley was what pushed me over the edge. I'd had enough of their shit. It didn't take a lot to anger me, but a situation needed to be serious if I made the first move.

"Lauren, Jess?" I threw open the door and commanded their attention. Both blinked in surprise, but what the fuck else did they expect? If someone talked _about _me, in front of me… did they really think I was going to ignore it forever?

They both turned to face me. Cheerleader seemed to be ingrained in their blood. They were angled toward one another, their right hands were on the railing as they struck a similar pose. Lauren was closest, I'd start with her.

"If you truly wanted Edward, all of this would be less pathetic. I'm sure you'd love to fuck him. Sad news for your boyfriend and his lack of skills in the bedroom department, but that's really not my problem."

"You-"

"I'm not finished," I interrupted her viciously. "Edward's dating me. We do all the things a couple does and there's nothing you can do about it. You had your chance. Three years, if I have my facts straight. You weren't enough for him and you certainly aren't his type. Get the fuck over it."

"I-"

Ignoring her, I moved on. "You."

Jessica wasn't a complete bitch, she was too bubble-headed to pull it off. I'd feel… off if I ripped her apart verbally.

"You don't love Edward. Lauren doesn't love him, either. You need to stop feeling what other people tell you to feel. Make up your own fucking mind. Mike Newton seems to have a thing for you. Why? Beats the fuck outta me. You both have a similar habit in common and I'm sure he'd support yours. Now, lay off my guy and go find one of your own."

I took a deep breath nearly shaking with the anger running through me. Neither of them had spoken yet, that was fine by me. Lauren looked pissed, Jessica was a bright shade of red. I really wish they weren't so catty, this would have been much easier. Once I left, they'd start planning revenge.

"Before I go, let me make this one last thing really fucking clear. You're both holding some kind of grudge against me. I don't give a shit. Know why?"

I propped my ankle on the stairwell's grate and unsheathed my knife. Their eyes widened; they were understanding me now.

"Keep pushing with your snide little comments. Don't stop any of the rumors you keep spreading. Next time, I won't be _talking_ to you. The school's pretty big, I know both of your schedules. Thanks to my Dad being Fork's Chief of Police, I know where you live. You wanted to bring him into this, so be it."

I unclasped the blade in my hidden knife necklace to further prove my point. The one Edward had given me could stay a secret. They didn't need to know about it.

"If you make me snap, you won't get any warning. You think the idea of publishing a picture of me in the yearbook dancing with Edward in a crazy-house is funny? Did you ever stop to consider _why _I had been there?" '

I flipped my regular sized knife open fluidly with one hand. I fucking loved switchblades. They were so much fucking fun!

"I'll do it. Don't test me," I leveled the knife at them one at a time. "Talk about _this_ to anyone and… want to know what I'll do to you? Slowly and painfully so you won't fucking forget-"

"No," Jessica rushed to say. "No one will know."

"Lauren?"

"You win, okay? Don't come after me, this stays between us. No problem, alright?"

"Great," I placed the knife back into the protective straps of my shoe. "Are there copies of those pictures?"

"Um, yeah…"

"The answer here is 'No.' _Right_?"

"Yeah, I'll totally delete them soon as I can." Jessica wouldn't lie to me. Lauren looked sullen, but she was defeated. Nothing worked better than threatening someone's life and looking crazy enough to do it.

"Thanks," I took the pictures that I didn't want to be printed. "Nice talking to you."

Edward was waiting right outside of the door for me and judging by the dark look in his eyes, he had heard everything. Fucking cheap schools and their crappy insulation. Who the fuck else had heard? No one else had been in the stairwell with us. We were on the bottom floor, I figured we were pretty safe. The quick burst of anxiety mixed with residual anger made me act rashly. I heard the door open behind me and saw Edward take a step forward. I'd love to hear what he planned on saying, but if my threat hadn't been enough… I had been clear about my intentions.

He glanced back at me as I moved over to him. I loved that he had chosen to wear that outfit today. With no warning, I pushed him back against the lockers. He dropped his bag immediately and allowed me to frame him with my arms. It was a dominant gesture and I knew he wouldn't be content to stay this way for long.

His eyebrow twitched; this was going to be good.

I was on an adrenaline high and when he spun us around so that my back hit the lockers, I lost all semblance of control. He was so much taller than me when I wasn't wearing heels. I liked that he had to bend down to kiss me. His shoulders blocked my view of Lauren and Jessica, it wasn't difficult to forget them.

"Fucking mine," I growled.

His hips pinned me to the locker, my arms went around his neck. He cupped my cheek and tipped my face up to his. His eyes were dark green and amused, aroused, possessive. I could see it on his face, a question that didn't need to be asked aloud. 'How far do you want this to go?'

I arched an eyebrow and twitched my hip. 'Bring it on, babe.'

The room spun. Edward held me in his arms parallel to the floor in a classic vampire pose. He used the angle to his advantage. In a dramatic motion, he went from standing upright to burying his face into the crook of my neck. I think Jessica actually screamed a little in alarm.

Even I had to admit, part of me had really been bracing for pain. I struggled not to laugh, and it wasn't difficult after a few seconds of Edward lightly nipping right underneath my hairline. The vibration of his low growls completely erased amusement and brought on a new problem; how to keep from moaning too loudly.

"Think we put on a good enough show?" Hearing his whisper, barely audible even to me, reminded me of what had transpired between us in his room. We had an audience this time, which is why I think Edward was having so much fun. Staking territory, both of us were guilty of that crime.

"Mmm…," was all I managed to reply.

He moved his head from side to side. From an observer's point of view, he was tearing at my neck with his teeth. I wouldn't have minded, but, in reality, he was licking across my pulse-point with his talented pierced tongue.

"Thanks for the distraction." I was standing with his help, he moved my hair so that it covered my neck. It didn't feel as though he'd left a mark.

"Newton distracted me with another hundred dollar bill he 'found.' He ran like a fucking coward, so now I have to go and chase him down. You game?"

"Sure. Want to help me with dinner, then? I've got to do some grocery shopping. Charlie's invited you, by the way."

"By the way? That's a 'by the way' statement? I'm going to eat a family meal tonight with you and your father?"

"Why not? I'm over at your house most of the time. What's the difference?"

"Good point," he laughed. Putting an arm around my shoulders, I matched his stride. "I'll try to make our visit quick."

**o . o . o**

Edward was a very good driver. Speedy, but steady. He checked his mirrors periodically and though he didn't keep his hands at ten and two, I felt safe. He drove like… I had no comparison. His right hand held the wheel toward the top, very masculine, while with his left he smoked a cigarette. I wasn't bestowed with his ability to keep ash from blowing back into the car. His window was open slightly, mine was all the way down with my wrist resting on the door.

"Where'd you learn your driving skills?"

"Getaway driver," he grinned. "It's easy to maintain speeds of eighty and above when I used to navigate New York City streets."

"Were you ever caught?"

"Twice," he grimaced. "I got away both times. The vehicles were hot anyway, I couldn't have them question me. I wasn't the one to steal the cars, don't worry."

"Sure, that's what my main concern was."

"What about you? No grand theft auto on your rap sheet?"

"Not a car, I was accomplice to 'relocating' a bike once. We put it back in the morning, though. I doubt anyone noticed."

"… you stole a bike and then _returned_ it?"

"Yeah. His car broke down and it was a ten-mile trek back to Phoenix. We passed a few houses and, conveniently, there was a bike leaning against the back of one. The person I was with rigged it, we got to town, and I insisted we bring it back. I didn't want them to report it, you know?"

"What if they had already called the police? You could have, literally, driven into a trap."

"Honestly, you think I have no sense of self-preservation. I didn't do a wheelie into their front yard and flash my headlights through their bedroom window. We were quiet about it."

"Sorry," he apologized. "I've been trying to stop doing that."

"I'm not following you. You steal cars in Forks?"

"No," he snorted. "I… yell at you for things you've done. It's my first reaction, and I know it's not fucking cool. I just… really hate the idea of you in danger."

"Ok, well, let's postpone the rest of this conversation. We're here."

"He's home." The switch had happened in less than two seconds. Edward looked almost predatory as he scoped the house.

"We aren't going to break in. You can stop checking the windows. There are two cars in the driveway and one in the garage."

"I know that," he smiled, cold though it was. "I have a way in, don't worry about it. Fucker ran from me, but he's got no imagination. I knew he would be here."

"Tone the scary down 'til we get in there? Thanks." I never, never wanted any of _this_ unleashed on me. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take much for Edward to take Mike out. Why did Mike think it was a good idea to run? I still really don't know what happened. None of Edward's knuckles were newly split so, chances were, Newton wasn't injured.

"Sorry for that, too. Feels like work, you know?"

"Yep," I sighed.

Edward walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. I stood next to him, stupefied. This was like work? Since when did that entail introducing oneself and getting a courteous invite in?

"Hi, Mrs. Newton." The killer look was completely erased from his face. Even his eyes were warm, I felt a shiver run up my spine. It was way too easy for him to change back and forth between moods. I had a little experience in the area, but it usually took me a minute or two to compose myself. "Is Mike available?"

"Yeah, you know him. Down in the basement like always, that boy needs to get away from his computer. All those games, it can't be good for his eyesight."

"I'll let him know. Thank you."

"And Bella Swan, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you from Mikey."

"Really," Edward's tongue piercing clicked harshly against his teeth. "Mikey and I have a _bunch _of things to talk about. Thanks very much again, Mrs. Newton."

We went down a narrow staircase from a door in the back corner of their living room. The typical suburban family; mother, father, only child. Portraits of all sizes were hung around the house among crystal candy dishes and lace doilies. The Newtons seemed friendly enough, but their house told a different story. When entering my home, there was no doubt about it. We lived in it. Edward's house, while very clean and bright, all of his high tech toys aside, it felt like a home. Mike's house? Someone in the family had money, generational probably.

I couldn't understand why Edward didn't take a less subtle route. Perhaps because Mike had been his dealer for so long? Nothing screamed suspicious like midnight pick-up and drop-off's. Either way, we were here now and I'm sure Edward's civil veneer would fade once we reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Don't corner me again. I have a gun, I'll shoot."

Edward shoved me behind him and fell into a fighting stance immediately. I stood back to back with him while scanning the room for where Mike was hiding. Turns out I should have known. He was near the computer.

"That's not a gun," Edward growled. "That's for paint-balling. Shoot me with it and I'll ram it down your throat."

"You fucking idiot." I moved quickly away from Edward and grabbed the gun. "What the fuck did you hope to accomplish?"

"I knew he'd follow me," Mike said sullenly nodding to Edward. "Wanted to be prepared."

"With _this_?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Here's what we're going to do. We'll sit… somewhere… and talk this out. No one hits anyone, no one runs. Okay?"

Mike quickly cleared space on a small couch behind us. He would have had a nice setup were it not for the piles of crap everywhere.

"First thing… what else do you sell besides marijuana?"

Edward and I sat on the edge of the sofa, I kept one hand on his knee. It was taking a lot of self-control for him to remain quiet. There were things I needed to know, this could be my only chance. I didn't like Mike enough to devote my time to the safe practices of drug selling. If he didn't know by now, there was nothing I could really teach him aside from the basics.

"Uh, cocaine, acid, PCP, some pills… mostly just weed."

"Do you ever mix any of drugs together?" I asked.

"Sometimes, yeah. Special request or whatever, you know how it goes."

"Okay- answer me honestly, okay? Did you lace our pot?"

"Yes."

"You sack of shit." Edward was off the couch and leaning menacingly over Mike's chair. He was barely restraining himself. Both of my hands on his arm weren't seeming to do anything. He was seriously pissed and if he attacked Mike, there was nothing I could do to stop him.

"There's no one that'll come to your rescue. The Res people don't give a shit, they were prepared to kick your ass. You came to me, and now you've pissed me off. Who will save you now, Newton?"

"Me." I cleared my throat and faced Edward without blinking. His gaze immediately lost its iced over, lethal edge. He was confused, but I felt warmth spread through my body as I realized how quickly he'd changed gears. All because I had spoken. It was a good moment despite my idiotic good side standing in for Mike.

"Why?"

"Why?" I directed the same question to Mike.

"Uh, you asked me to." At least he was following along, I was in no mood to explain myself in addition to helping him.

"Bullshit!" I couldn't see Edward's face anymore, but judging from Mike's pallor... it wasn't through calm eyes that Edward stared at him.

"You did! A day before you came to pick up the weed, you said something about AD. I figured you wanted me to dust the drugs. Remember? When you came here, you asked for extra?"

"I think you've dipped into your own stash," Edward's fingers dug into the chair as he found a miniscule thread of patience. "Who the fuck refers to angel dust as AD? Superweed, maybe. Rocket fuel, rarely. But AD? … ... oh _fuck me._ I asked if you had _A.D.D_, you fucking idiot. Jesus fucking Christ!"

I laughed, it couldn't be helped. All of this because-? What the fuck. Edward didn't find any of this amusing. Too soon? Judging from the rage still emanating from him, no, we wouldn't be laughing about this together anytime soon.

"It was an honest mistake. Stupid, but sort-of forgivable. I'm sure I did foolish things when I first started," I offered.

"Bella…"

"Mike, you _never_ add shit to weed unless someone specifically asks you for it. If you don't have any with you, tell them that. Drugs aren't something you fuck around with. _Always_ ask first."

"Do you have any fucking idea what could have happened? Angeldust, are you aware of what it can do to people?"

"I've taken some before… it wasn't bad…"

"You stupid fuck," Edward swore, letting the chair go.

"Anyway," I spoke loudly to be heard over his continued muttering. "You don't keep the shit in your jacket, right?"

"Where else is there to hide it?"

"Oh man," I groaned. "You can hide a dub bag by clipping it to the back of your shirt's tag. Keep the shirt tucked in and even if the bag falls, no one will see it unless you wear your clothes skin-tight. You can fit larger bags in your sock, if you wear boots."

"Why are you helping him?"

"So this doesn't happen again," I answered Edward.

"I can make _sure_ this doesn't fucking happen again," he was glaring at Mike again while cracking his knuckles.

"Do you want to deal with Jake every time you want weed? I mean, it'd be fine if you do, but I got the feeling that you're not on a friendly level with him yet." I kept my voice easy, not wanting it to seem like I was giving him an ultimatum. Either way he wanted to do this, I really didn't care that much.

I had watched Edward go through all manners of emotional torment less than twenty-four hours ago. It was taking a lot of self-control not to punch Mike myself. He made a motion with his hand, a 'fine, go' movement, and leaned back. Perfect. I turned my attention back to Mike.

"If they ask for a mix of them, give'em what they want. Do not go adding other stuff to it. I've had experiences where they came after _me_ because _they_ had a bad trip. If they find out you've fucked with their drug, it'll be even worse for you. Point proven?" I glanced at Edward and back to Mike. He understood what I was trying to say.

"Ok," he was less pale now.

"This was all one huge fucked up mistake. No need to kill him over it. He's a moron, but the PCP was accidental. In fact, if you want to go on a limb… it could even be considered complimentary. Angeldust is expensive, he took profit loss by giving it to you."

"I don't want to sympathize with him," Edward rolled his eyes up and closed them. "Your way worked fine, I'll admit it. I'd still like to beat the shit out of him. You could have been hurt-"

"I wasn't."

"Or you could have hurt yourself-"

"I didn't."

"Jesus fuck," he sighed. "Do you understand my point here?"

"Yes," I answered, calmly. "But hurting _him_, despite making us feel better, isn't productive. We can be out of here faster and I'd really like to get some fresh air."

He nodded curtly. "Where's the cash, Mike?"

"C-cash?"

"You owe me money. I'm here to collect early and, yes, I'm tacking on another four hundred."

"What?"

"It should be more than that due to our agreement. You still have your job, it won't take you long to make it back. If you're short on money, you can sell that monstrosity on your wrist."

Mike was wearing an overly large gold watch. I could have sold that on the street for two hundred, easy. One hundred if I tried to pawn it. Thankfully, that hadn't been necessary for a long time.

"My ex gave this to me."

"Am I here to talk about your personal problems? No. You're lucky I'm not kicking your ass. Money. Now."

"Mike, honey?" A voice called down the stairs, "Do your friends want some chocolate cake? Are they staying long?"

"Uh… no, Mom. We're just taking care of some, um, school stuff real quick."

"Ok, well, we're having pot pie for supper. I can easily set another two places at the table."

"I'll let you know," Mike's voice cracked. "Thanks…"

"Wow," I raised my eyebrow at Edward.

"She cooks your food, does your laundry, and doesn't mind that you spend all your time barricaded down here with free internet porn? You use Transformer mailing labels… Mike, get the fuck out of this business."

"That's probably the nicest thing I've heard you say to someone you don't like," I congratulated Edward.

"It's just… it's too… come the fuck _on_. Are you fucking serious with this shit?"

"Mike, I'd get the cash if I were you. I've been trying, desperately, to keep Edward from physically assaulting you. He's up to three curses in less than five seconds. I'm getting bored and I don't think your mother being home is going to deter him from hurting you."

"Right. Sure, one second." He scurried over to his computer desk and I tried not to show signs of disgust. While he counted out the money, I watched his body language. He was upset, obviously, that so much of it was going with us. Edward took the cash and pocketed it casually. Mike didn't wince or groan, I got the impression that he'd whine if he were truly going to miss it.

"And a trade in on this shit." Edward took the laced pot out of his jacket through a small rent cut into the pocket. I met his glance and smiled, of course he'd know about the trick. We left shortly thereafter having concluded our 'business.' Mike wasn't reduced to blood splatters on the wall, I considered our outing to be successful.

"So," I asked, "you ready to do some food shopping?"

"By all means. Mind if I drive?"

"It's your car, of course not. Do I get music choice?"

"Sure," he smiled easily, his anger from before gone now that a solution had been found.

"How much did you end up taking from Mike, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Counting what he gave me out of his wallet? Around four grand, I think, probably more. I didn't want to clean him out completely. He'd probably come running to me again, fuck if I know why."

"Four thousand dollars," I grinned, happy for him. "Not bad, all things considered."

"He probably had double that in his drawer," Edward mused. "Think we should turn around?"

"No," I laughed. "He'll be having nightmares for weeks. Don't traumatize him any further."

"You saved his ass," Edward leveled a glance in my direction. "And I don't want to think about Newton dreaming about me. Distract me?"

"Hmm… how to do that?"

"Oh," he added, "before I forget. Two grand of this is yours."

"Like hell it is."

"Seriously, if it weren't me, wouldn't you demand a cut of the profit?"

"If it hadn't been you, I wouldn't have been there in the first place," I pointed out logically. It was truthful, I didn't mean it in any negative way.

"Just take the money," he sighed. "If you don't, I'll find a way to leave it hidden in your room."

"I used that tactic already," I smirked, triumphant. "Keep it. If I want something I'll ask you for the cash to cover it."

"What am I? An ATM? Oh my fucking… fine. Fine. Just wait."

"Thanks."

He was taking the scenic route, very cool. I reached for his belt buckle, motivated by the song I had chosen. It was edgy, sexy, and after the past few hours, I wanted to do something wickedly fun.

"How good is your concentration?"

Edward raised his hips to unbutton his pants and lower the fly, all while keeping one hand on the wheel. Point proven. His windows were tinted, there was absolutely no wrong with this plan. I slackened my seatbelt without unbuckling it and got to my knees. He was fully conscious for this, too, and I knew he'd appreciate that. 4:32pm, it was time to show him how very good I could be.

**Authors Note:  
**So there we go! Lemons aplenty, a little fun with Mike- a resolution to that whole problem- and a dinner with Charlie coming up! I hope ya'll found this a little more light-hearted than the previous few chapters. Sorry for the long wait, the writing rate has slowed a little bit. Probably because I don't want to go charging through now that the end is visible. There are another seven chapters, easy. After that? Maybe three until it concludes? It keeps changing, before I had estimated it at four, haha. So no worries, the real end isn't anytime soon.

**Authors Note:|  
Krystalwinds1990, Rhi, Dontsayiquit, acw1, san4jon, DodgerMcClure, Parkesy23, 1dreamkeeper, Bundysarah, Bhekie-  
**Thank you, thank you! To those of you who have Twittered or posted on blogs, thanks so much! I'm so happy to see that everyone's liking the new updates, though I'm sorry this chapter's taken so long. Thanks also to the people that followed this story over from another site!

**Drkvctry-**  
Sorry it scared you, haha. Rather intense events, but its evened out a little now. =D.

**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
I'm sorry! I figured there were too many emotions floating around in that chapter. Besides, parents always have the worst timing, right?

**AngelaSampedro99-**  
I agree! Thanks for your comments, I hope you're more… satisfied by them after reading. =P

**Bluecanoe-**  
Exactly, I didn't want to delay that anymore. It was becoming difficult to find new ways for them to 'think' about love. Besides, almost everyone else knew it, heh. Thank you for reviewing!

**Vanquish13-**  
I know exactly what you're talking about. There are people like that in life that can send me into the same mindless rage. Thank you!

**Heavyinfinity-**  
Yeah, I definitely felt it was needed. I showed the good aspects of pot, but not the dangers. There are always risks, you know? Just as I wanted to show the two different reactions to PCP. And, of course! When I leave things off the way I did last chapter, I normally have a direct continuation in a different POV. It pisses me off when author's do that, haha, I wouldn't want to be guilty of the same thing in my own story.

**Bananahzz**-  
Thanks for following me over from TWCS! I actually did think Edward was going to freak out more than he did. The way I had been writing it seemed as though that's how everything would end. And then there was a sentence, when he started berating himself… that it made sense for him to be relieved rather than horrified. =). Thank you again!

**Christykq-**  
Thanks very much! They found a way, =P, hope you liked it!

**SuperYunaKittyFan-**  
Thank you! I always appreciated how, in some cases, a character can cry without completely breaking. Not sure if that makes sense. As of now, I can't picture Edward crying at all. Bella, though, she seems more vulnerable to me. Maybe it's because she's a female? At any rate, I'm really, really happy you're liking the story so much.

**Cat5050-**  
When I saw your review, I squee'd. Haha, you guessed it! You're awesome, =P.

**Ionuin Anam Cara-**  
Thank you so, so much for your amazing review! I don't know what to say aside from trying to convey that I'm stunned and so unbelievably… thanks! I.A.C- you absolutely made my week. I'm so glad you find the story so engaging and that you like the characters so much! I hope to hear from you again in the future, but if you don't review- really, thank you very much.

**My4kids-**  
Yes, the tension could have kept building, but I don't think it would have been enjoyable for them. I didn't want any revolting or for one of them to stop speaking with me. Heh. Thanks for your review!

**Kitasky123-**  
Sorry for your computer troubles! Thanks for taking the time to comment, =). I toast to your and your upcoming summer break, enjoy the relaxation time! At least, I hope you'll be able to relax…

**Dazzleglo-**  
I understand, you phrased things very well. One hundred percent agreement. I couldn't really hurt Mike, he's really annoying, but not the type I'd be able to hit. As Edward felt, it'd just be… pathetic. Thank you!

**Fliberty-**  
That's how I wanted it to be, =D. Because of the drug, the intense emotional reactions- I wanted to show that there were two entirely different through processes going on despite how deeply Edward and Bella understand one another. I also liked that they both don't feel worthy of the other, though once 'I love you' had been said… none of that mattered. The story had enough going on without the 'you're so much better than me' speeches right after the three words have been said, right?  
No worries, Edward's past with Masen is his and his alone. Thank you for the concern though. ^_^  
Happy 10th Anniversary, or belated anniversary! That's amazing and I'm excited for the both of you, =D.  
Alice's character always makes me happy. She might seem annoying at times, but she has a really good heart and I've always thought she was cute. Ashley Greene is beautiful and I wish my hair were half as shiny.  
Congrats on the new laptop! That's awesome of him, I'm glad your typing frustrations are over.  
I love reviews, especially in-depth ones with character analysis. It makes me happy to know that this Edward and Bella have left an impact on some people. Thanks so very much, I love reading all of your comments and I definitely hope to hear from you again soon!

**Hannah Lightwood-**  
Thank you! Yeah, 'blush. I'm a huge Johnny Depp fan. He was the star character in my first attempts at fan fiction. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was phenomenal. Usually when books are made into movies, facts change and there are major differences. Not in Fear and Loathing, I followed almost chapter for chapter, it was amazing.  
There's a part toward the middle where he thinks back on his time and experiences in the world… it's one of the best things I've read. Sorry, I'll stop rambling, haha.

**Karen4honor-**  
That was my favorite part to write. The image had been in my head for awhile and I didn't know where it would apply. Then, bam, perfect timing, haha. Glad you found it… interesting, if not good.

**WookieMonster-**  
Wow, thank you very much! I hope you liked this chapter too! ^_^


	30. A Cigarette Is All You Get

**Chapter 30  
- A Cigarette Is All You Get**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**It was really difficult trying to think between Charlie and Edward. Both wanted to be written at the same time. Yeah, it was rather strange. I got the lemon written first because… I can't write a scene like the one below and Charlie POV at the same time. It's just awkward, haha.

**Authors Note 3:  
**If you like the song 'Teeth' by Lady Gaga- and if you don't mind suggestive guy/guy action:  
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=h6S_9O24ods  
Made me laugh and… _I_ think it's pretty sexy. The 'vampire' has amazing eyes. Mild bdsm aspects, consider my warning if you aren't comfortable with it.

**Edward At Dinner-  
**http:/i2(dot)bebo(dot)com/048b/18/large/2009/04/14/12/2193199628a10596059713l(dot)jpg

**Playlist**  
http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Give Head If You Got It- **Combichrist  
**You Drive Me Wild- **the Runways  
**20th** **Century Boy- **Placebo  
**Unbelievable- **EMF  
**A Cigarette Is All You Get- **Crash Test Dummies

**Edward's Point of View**

Was this really happening? Really? Girls had offered before, some of them without waiting for my consent. None of them had gotten far. I hadn't trusted any girl, prior to Bella, enough to let them around my cock when I wasn't in full control. Not to mention, I had worked a few shifts at the hospital. Carlisle had pointedly given me the medical files for a couple that had accidentally crashed their car. The truth came out eventually and I considered the lesson learned. Until now.

Each time Bella had given me a blow-job, I was floored by the reactions I felt. She seemed to be doing the same thing I did when it came to sex. Time had given me confidence. When confronted with a situation like the other night- which I'd take great care not to have happen again, I knew how to get her off quickly. Quickly, not fucking sloppily. I should have had her drive. It would have been a little more awkward, but I'm sure we could have worked something out.

She got to her knees on the seat and I all but ripped my pants off in anticipation. The look on her face… did I have an expression like that before I went down on her? She was radiating what I felt. Her hand slid into my boxers, I forced myself to focus on the road instead of her neon blue nails.

"Fast?"

"Not going over forty," I shook my head. Wait a minute. She wasn't asking me to speed up,"… fuck yes." I moved my seat back to give her more room. Her hair was soft on my legs, I could feel hot pants of breath as she lowered her head. She sucked gently before working her way down my shaft… without taking me inside of her mouth. I gripped the steering wheel as she used the flat of her tongue to make large circles on her way back up.

My hips bucked when I felt warmth… tight… fuck, vibrating. I fucking loved it when she moaned. It took immense self-control not to let my eyes roll back. My cock was slowly sliding down her throat. The feeling was… jesus fuck. Incredible. Fuck awesome. I felt her beginning to move faster now that she had adjusted. I didn't have time to miss the silky feeling of her mouth, she was back and surrounding me again in less than a second. Up, down, her tongue rubbing against the head each time… all the way down.

She unzipped my pants without faltering and moved my pants out of the way. Why? Because they were hindering her. Take me all the way down, babe.

"So fucking good…" I was gibbering. All of the things I planned on doing to her, I'd fucking worship her later. My lower body started tingling, I shifted as the sensation grew stronger. Now was usually the point where I'd take hold of her hair. I looked down at Bella for a second, it was worth the risk. Her eyes opened, dark brown and mischievous. I brought my attention back to the road. That's all I had needed to see. So fucking hot.

I felt her tugging lightly at my right arm. She brought my hand down to rest on her collarbone. Nothing, though, fucking nothing would ever compare to feeling my cock moving in her throat from the outside. Her pulse beat against the side of my hand and her cheek brushed my knuckles rhythmically. My body tensed, I blinked rapidly to keep my vision clear of small dark flashes. I groaned, her nails dug into my thigh. She tightened the muscles in her neck, I was inching up in my seat. Pressure was building… white hot, a frenzied wave of need… so fucking close. Fuck. Warn her, don't warn her?

Her tongue slid along the underside of my cock firmly and that was it. I moved my hand back onto the steering wheel and gripped that motherfucker with all of my strength. Release roared its way through me and I shuddered twice. Once due to the euphoric pleasure of her drawing out my orgasm and the second because… I felt so damn _good_.

"Relax for a second." I leaned back as Bella took the wheel with one hand. She had a strange expression on her face, not because she was upset…

Where were my cigarettes? I grabbed two of them and turned the heat up. The air outside was going to be cold. Bella, again, wasn't wearing a jacket. It was thrown somewhere in the back with mine. I might be a hypocrite but at least my intentions were good.

"So what's up?"

Bella grinned wryly, "Not much. You?"

I handed her a cigarette. "There was something you were thinking about."

"Oh," she flushed and took a drag. "I've never done that before."

"In a car?" I nearly choked due to surprise.

"Well, that too, but… it's awkward to explain."

I had regained control of my body. When I reached down to get my pants closed, I was shocked to see several tissues. Where had there been time to- there was no point trying to ponder it out. Bella had her ways. Complete and utter fucking worship; she had put tissues down to save my car seats. Honestly, I wouldn't have cared whether we ruined the leather. I had several car fantasies involving her that would completely destroy the interior of my Volvo. There were a few based on the exterior that would more than chip the paint.

Still, she took such good care of the things I cared about. She put her feet on the dash after I did, but made sure my seat was properly realigned. When she smoked, one arm was always out the window so that burning ash didn't fly back in. Fucking amazing.

"You're blushing, that's a good sign. I'm curious. Enlighten me?"

"Alright," she signed and rolled her eyes while smiling. "So you know that I can deep-throat, right?"

"Hell yes."

"Remember the first time? You came… y'know, down my throat. This is the first time ever _that_ didn't happen."

She wasn't trying to be sexy, but fuck me if I wasn't getting hard for her again. I didn't want her to notice. She'd offer again, I'd probably let her. No way. Next time I wanted to be truly inside of her.

"Are you upset by that?"

"No, it was fun," she laughed. "Just figured I'd share, you _did_ ask."

I really didn't know what to say. Thanking her for not only letting me come in her mouth, but for making sure I knew there was no need to warn her? I couldn't find a way to phrase that. We were at the grocery store anyway and I saw a car that I recognized. After I got out and opened Bella's door, I sent out a quick text message. He would get back to me. She glanced over at me but didn't ask any questions. Instead, I watched as Bella went for a basket. A basket? I really didn't think so.

Buying groceries was the only form of shopping that I enjoyed. No, that was a complete lie. I loved going with Alice and being able to buy all of the things she wanted. She had a copy of my Debit card, but I was still invited along now and again. She seemed to understand I wasn't much for the whole shopping process. I didn't mind once a week or so, I had gotten this outfit on one of those occasions.

Time and again I heard her express remorse for using my money so frivolously. Why the fuck would I care? There was plenty to go around and Alice had some sort of inheritance coming once she turned thirty-five. Her parents, I assume, had expected to be around a lot longer.

At any rate, I had more than enough money for the both of us. Bella, too, judging from how frugally she planned to shop. Oh man, I was going to rectify things and really fucking quickly. I wasn't about to watch things happen this way, again. Neither of us were poor, we didn't need to pretend we were.

"Slow down," I anchored her next to me and made her take the cart. Yes, I had traded in the basket.

"Oh no,' she groaned. "You're one of _those_ people. The ones that take forever deciding between items, your cart in the middle of an aisle…"

Ha. The dry food section, great place to start.

"This is going to take hours, I can feel it. Keep in mind, we only have one to spend here before I've got to start cooking."

"No problem," I reassured her. "Fucking fast shoppers. Food is half the pleasure in life and no one takes the time to appreciate what it is they're eating."

"Fast? No. I prefer efficient. Also, I cook, remember? I take the time to make things rather than warming stuff up in the microwave for you to eat. Remember the waffles?"

"Alright, alright. Jesus, yes, I remember the waffles. You're the exception then," I laughed because the last part of that statement always seemed to be true. "Just… walk with me, calm yourself."

"I am calm," she grinned.

"Okay then." I threw cupcakes- with filling and without- brownies, three types of muffins…

"Whoa! What the fuck? Where do you think all of this food is going?"

"With us, obviously. Want to help?"

"With putting some of this obscene amount of sugar back? Yes!"

"Sorry, I can't let you do that."

She was going to get rid of the chocolate chip muffins. What did they do to her? They were going to end up in a dumpster if no one bought them, right? My only dilemma was now making the decision between peanut butter, sugar, or chocolate chip cookies. I mean, yeah, I had the muffins, but variety was nice. Wait until I got to the boxed cookie section, they kept longer than store-made ones. Bella and I were physically fit. I'd help her work off any calories if that was the issue.

"Don't let me forget milk, okay?"

"I'm sure we could ask for a case. They'd deliver it straight to your front door;"

"Snarky, I like it."

Perfect. The cereal aisle was nigh. Bella followed me and stared again as I started pulling boxes from the shelves. Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes, Reese's, Special-K Strawberry for Esme, Raisin Bran for Carlisle. Alice ate everything I did, she was easy to shop for.

"What's your favorite?"

"Edward- look. Store brand is three dollars cheaper. Why pay five when you could get more for less?'

"Look at the boxes," I held one up against the other. "This kind doesn't even have a box. Which would you rather look at when you're high?"

"Are you serious?"

"The Lucky Charms leprechaun and I have good trippy thoughts in common. And, the marshmallows _are_ magically delicious."

"Frosted Flakes are grreat?"

"You know, Tony the Tiger influenced me to watch a nature show on his kin."

"While you were under the…"

"Influence?" I laughed, "Yep. Ask me anything you want on tiger mating rituals."

"No thanks. Did you learn anything else?"

"I ran out of cereal."

"Alright, fine," she threw her arms up in surrender. "Frosted Mini Wheats, that's my favorite cereal."

"Now we're getting somewhere." I was proud of her, more so when she added it to the cart. She could have easily picked something I'd already added. She was onboard, it was about time she stopped fighting me.

"I need vegetables. You do too. Eat all of this and you'll go into a sugar coma."

"Don't tease," I backed her against glass bakery doors. She wound her arms around my neck and leaned her body against mine.

"Me? I'm the tease? You're so much worse than I could ever be."

"I know." Reaching up above her head, I grabbed a container of six store-made Little Debbie's. I'd have to compare and contrast them with the packaged form. Definitely needed to be sure not to forget milk. I'd be pissed if I got home and had nothing to go with all of this food. Days of cereal and water were so fucking over- I didn't want to think back on that.

"You know, Edward? I just upped my game."

"No need to be hasty," I applied a small bit of pressure to her hips to keep her where I wanted. She leaned back onto the glass doors and bit her lip while looking at me through her eyelashes. Her gaze started on my face and slowly worked down my torso, she paused at my belt and met my eyes. I moved back a little having recognized that mischievous, thought-planning smile.

"Guess what?" She whispered the words into my ear after putting her arms back around my neck.

"What?"

"I…" she wound one leg around mine and turned us so that she faced the outside. "… win."

Son of a bitch. I had to acknowledge it. Sadly, I had walked right into that one.

While Bella picked which tomatoes she wanted, I checked my messages. Nothing, but I still had it on vibrate from school. I wouldn't feel anything through my jacket. These pants I had chosen based on Alice's personal recommendation. The only problem was that with my phone in one of the front pockets… well, any bulge that'd be visible certainly wouldn't be the size of a small cell-phone.

She had moved onto the lettuce display. I threw two packages of Caesar instant salad into the cart, Esme and Alice really liked those. The fruit section was useless to both of us. I didn't know what Esme had in the fridge. If there was an excess, she would cook something to get rid of them. She had been working harder than usual, I didn't want her to mistake the groceries as hint I wanted her to make me food.

"What next?" I asked.

"Biscuits, and milk for you."

"Cool, candy aisle's on the way."

"Convenient arrangement."

Twix, Skittles, Mr. Goodbar- oh, Ferrero Rocher for Carlisle, Sour Patch Kids… Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for Esme. Hmm, had I done enough damage here?

"You eat like this all the time?"

Me, personally? I liked having a multitude of chips, dip, cereal, candy, and ice-cream. Liquor, too, but they didn't sell that here. … wait, yes they did. I kept forgetting that. I had more than one fake ID courtesy of necessity and New York. I'm not sure what the biggest problem would be. That I _had_ a fake ID to begin with, that I used it to buy alcohol, or that I drove around as a minor, with a minor, and had it in my car. Probably best not to show up at the Chief's house with a thirty-pack. I'd consider it a present, he might see it as a felony.

"They're necessities," I held her by the shoulders and made her look down the aisle.

"Like Wonka's Chocolate Factory, I know."

"Speaking of…" I put everlasting gobstoppers and Nerds into the cart, too.

My phone buzzed. 'Sure. Room empty. Go 4 it.'

Wow. Whatever, I got what I wanted. To make up for the Little Debbie incident, I rubbed her shoulders while standing behind her again. I forgot how much shorter she was without the huge heels she normally wore. Sometimes, it was really disconcerting, she was tall as I was. Always fucking hot, of course, all of her shoes.

"Je veux faire l'amour avec toi.' I nipped her neck gently.

"You want… I don't know the rest, but my guess is probably right," she tipped her head to the side knowing that it drove me out of my mind. Her hair fell over my arm and I inhaled the mango scent that had seemed to fade throughout the day. Either way was fine, I liked most surprises.

"Most likely," I grinned. No need to translate, it sounded better in French. She got the basic gist, that's all that mattered. "I promise to shave twenty minutes from this shopping experience if you come with me."

"Sure."

"Don't worry about the cart." I figured that would eventually be a concern. "I can get shopping done in ten. If I did, we'd already be on our way. Then the text I just got wouldn't apply."

"I noticed that," she smiled wryly.

The room was where I remembered it. I hadn't lied to her, there was no one else I had wanted to tryst with in a grocery store. When I saw that car in the parking lot, I remembered that he had been Alice's friend at one point. He offered me a place that was somewhat out of the ordinary. Good thing I had kept it in mind.

"I'd help if you fill me in."

"You trust me, right?" I opened the door to the room behind their kitchen. A key was left for me on the other side. Bad texting aside, my 'friend' was more intelligent than I gave him credit for. It wasn't bad, all things considered. If it hadn't been an impulse, I would have grabbed some candles from the air freshener aisle. Romantic, not so much. Fun, though, hopefully. I locked the door behind us.

"Thinking naughty thoughts?"

"Most of the time," I admitted.

"Act on them then," she smiled and rubbed her hand along the polished prep table.

That had been my first choice too. Without waiting, I tore my jacket off and picked Bella up by the waist. I had wanted to do this for so long. From the first fucking day, but in all of my fantasies she hadn't been wearing pants. Ah well, I could work around that small detail.

She laughed and squirmed in my arms wanting me to let her back onto the floor. Nope, never. She would have to be content lying on the table with her ankles over my shoulders. I had put my jacket onto the cold metal. There would be no distractions that way. Hard to concentrate on pleasure if she were cold.

When Bella arched her back, I quickly took advantage and undid the button on her jeans. Oh my _fuck. _How had this entire day passed without… I hadn't noticed this? Smooth skin awaited me, no satin or cotton, not even silk. I pushed her backwards and rested my chest between her knees. She wasn't going anywhere until I let her.

With a little help from her, I soon had her stripped from the waist down. I felt a different sort of energy radiating from her. Her eyes were dark and dangerous, I had to wonder who really was in charge here. Now that sexual release was to be found, I visibly saw her public façade fading. All passion and fire, if I weren't comfortable in my ability to get her off, I might be intimidated.

"Told you I'd go commando when I ran out," she smirked. "You locked the door?"

"Yup."

"Then?" Her smile was challenging, seductive. "You're waiting, why?"

I growled against her inner thigh and felt her legs strain to close. Her head fell back as she anticipated pleasure. Friction was what she needed and I wasn't delivering. She twined both of her hands in my hair… jesus fuck.

Bella applied a small amount of pressure until I moved where she wanted me. When I slid my tongue over her I felt her fingers twitch. She gasped and raised herself slightly seeking further contact. Whether it was dormant arousal from the ride here or because she _really_ liked when I spoke French… now was not the time for me to fuck around. I gripped her hips and literally snarled in pleasure when one of her hands went to my shoulder. The sharp prick of her nails, tasting her, knowing she was close already- I licked up and down without breaking contact.

When she tugged at my hair I moved a few inches upward and rapidly stroked the piercings in my tongue over her clit. She bucked upward and I held her down easily. Different forms of control really turned Bella on, I aimed to please. Before I had really even begun, I felt her muscles tense. She was breathing fast and digging her nails hard into my skin.

"Edward!"

I didn't need a warning, either. Bringing my hand up, I roughly pushed two of my fingers inside her. It only took about five seconds- she came so fucking _hard_. I felt the spasms begin deep within her and move through her body until her clit pulsed against my tongue.

"Fuck! Yes… fuck… Edward, ugh-!"

I laughed with my mouth still on her. She looked so… satisfied. The orgasm had been intense and short, she had obviously been wanting one for awhile. I knew she'd be sensitive now, I got proof when Bella tugged at my hair and raised my head. I watched her descend and licked my lips as she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Thanks for that," she smiled languorously.

"Anytime, babe." I reached under the table and unhooked the buckle on my pants. Fucking tight as hell, if Bella didn't like them so much I'd probably have retired them after today. Damn inconvenient with the small pockets and cock-stifling fabric. I leaned up to let her shift around. Lying in that position must be uncomfortable for her at this point.

To my utter surprise Bella hopped off the table. She wanted to do it standing? Bent over the table, fuck yes, another of my fantasies come to life. I pulled my belt through the loops and… she was putting her pants on? What the- Bella kissed me slowly before I could form any semblance of a sentence.

"Remember when I said it was time to up my game?" Her eyes narrowed playfully when she stepped back.

"Yeah…"

"Well," she tugged her shoes on. "Next time you want cookies? Go for them _before_ you make-out with me. Otherwise I might misconstrue your intent. Cookies, me, cookies, me. The cookies won, Edward."

I couldn't even really be mad. Truthfully, if our positions had been reversed… I'd have made her pay. In a good way, of course. Okay, really, I'd have done what I just did- except I would have taken my sweet time in getting her off.

"What the hell?" The doorknob rattled, someone was trying to get in.

Shit. I looked around for places to hide. The room was not that big, aside from the table and a few chairs… the fridge, a freezer that I wouldn't be able to access… we were screwed. Bella froze for a moment, but then flew into a rush of motion. She thrust my jacket at me as the doorknob shook again.

"Throw me that," she whispered hurriedly.

Following her line of sight, I noticed an apron lying on the back of a chair. I handed it to her right as the door opened.

"What's going on in here? Who the hell are you people?"

Tall, not heavily muscled; I could take him. No, that would mean we'd probably be banned from the grocery store. Charlie would be called- having to arrest me before dinner together probably wouldn't help further my Dating Bella cause. She was speaking and I paid close attention in case she needed me to back up her story.

"Like, what took you so long?" Bella moved in front of me, which I was really fucking grateful for because these tight fucking pants would completely give away what we were doing. "I was walking around to try and get a feel for the place. Can't work somewhere the energy's not right, you totally get it, right? And I tripped, the door closed, and we were locked in."

"Huh?" The guy looked off-balance by Bella's quickly spoken sentences, a perfect replica of Lauren's kind. Not what he was expecting, I gathered.

"We were, like, trapped in here for the past twenty minutes. I'm all claustrophobic and stuff," she waved the apron in the air. "A friend, like, told me you were hiring or something. So I came to look around and the door totally closed behind us. I tried yelling, but no one showed up to let us out, y'know?"

"Uh huh…"

"Look, I've got this apron and everything. He said I should bring it if I wanted to job apply, helps to know someone, right? Green is totally not my color, see?" She rolled her eyes and threw it back onto the table. "Thanks for letting us out, dude. Totally owe you one."

The smile she gave him made her seem empty-headed. Bella's cheeks were still flushed yet she made that work for her. The intelligent brown eyes I'd recognize anywhere were now dull and slightly dense.

"Mm," he noticed what was in my hand and glared. "Why's his belt off?"

"… To pry the door open, silly. My idea. Smart, right?" She giggled and took my arm with both of her hands. Good thing I had the key in my pocket. I didn't doubt Bella, she'd have found an excuse to explain it away. We walked past him and he didn't stop us. The prickling on the back of my neck eased when we turned a corner.

"You're so fucking amazing."

The guy was inside, thank fuck _he_ had a key. I was astounded on so many levels. That she had noticed what kind of lock the door had… fuck me. I picked her up and braced her against the dairy racks. She wrapped her legs around my waist and laughed.

"Glad I could impress you," she grinned. "Good thing we stopped early, I guess."

I put my hand behind her head before kissing her. Slowly. My lungs were burning and I was two seconds away from taking her against the milk stands when we separated.

"Practice makes perfect? That really was unbelievably impressive."

She shook her head. "I found improvisational skills to be really useful in the past. I had time to hone the skill."

"I'll bet."

"You'd win," she smiled and pointed at one of the aisles. "We need to go and get our cart."

"Yeah we do," I sighed, "before we get kicked out."

I let her slide down my body until her feet were back on the floor. Her eyelashes fluttered but she recovered quickly. Faster than I did.

"Whole, skim, or… whole milk, I'm guessing?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Cool." She removed the first two gallons having decided on one way in the back. Ah, the expiration date was set further back than the milk in the front. I rested my hip against the cold metal and let the chill spread until I could think clearly.

We walked down the aisle, I picked up a canister of biscuits. "These good or did you want some that were already made?"

"They're fine, thanks. Almost forgot about them." She laced her hand through mine and, surprisingly, I was completely fine with it. This wasn't the first time she had done so but there was no spark of hesitation that rang out within me. Bella didn't seem to have noticed that we were walking through the store holding hands.

"I promised to cut twenty minutes, right?"

"I think?"

"Great, I might need you to help me out." We were just passing the cracker and cookie row. So much work to do and not very much time to get things accomplished in. Real Little Debbie's, a variety of Keebler cookies- Bella moved away from me and grabbed a box of strawberry-jelly filled things. That's more like it. Milano's, Cheez-It's… white cheddar for Alice, plain for Carlisle. Ooh, microwavable popcorn. We were running low on that, too.

"Kettle corn!" Bella's eyes lit up and she took three packages of the stuff. "I _love_ kettle corn. Colored black and orange for Halloween, that's interesting."

"You might want to get one or two without the dye. I'm not sure what they'll taste like."

"It's good, I've had them before. You haven't?"

"Not exactly," I eyed the little black bats, cat's maybe, while trying not to let my eyebrow raise.

She grabbed two more. "You have no idea what you've been missing. I'll make some for you before I start dinner."

"We," I corrected her gently. "I'm not going to sit around, I'll help you."

"Great," she smiled. "You can grill if you want to? I never cook steak all the way through."

"Fine by me," I shrugged. "Charlie won't mind? A guy's grill is a sacred thing around here."

"He won't care," she laughed. "I'll tell him it was my idea, no worries."

We located the cart and, by the time we had placed everything inside, it was pretty fucking full. Most of it was junk food. Whoops. If I knew what we needed real-food-wise… maybe I should have made a list. Granted, I didn't know a trip to the grocery store was in order. It's not as though I couldn't come back.

"Anything else?"

I looked over the cart's contents. Hmm… candy, cookies, bakery items. I could get some chips on our way to the front. We had plenty of soda, Bella had remembered the milk. She got the vegetables she wanted and biscuits…

"We're good, I think." Luckily, most of the check-out registers were empty. We were still on time despite the prep-room distraction.

"Edward, you know all this is bad for your teeth."

"Hey, Ms. Maggie," I smiled easily at the checkout attendant. She was an interesting woman, in her sixties and working at the supermarket because she got bored during the day. The charms of a small town.

"Who is your pretty young lady?"

"Bella," she extended her hand and gently shook Maggie's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"It's about time he found a nice girl to settle down with. The only one I see him with is Alice, you've met his sister?"

"Yep," Bella shot me an amused sideways glance. "All of us are friends."

"Friends," Maggie groused while scanning muffins.

"She and Alice," I reiterated. "Bella's my girlfriend."

"About time," she said again.

Bella laughed and started bagging the groceries. She kept an eye on the total though, to her credit, she didn't flinch or glare at me. Halfway through and we were already up to one hundred and fifty dollars. Fuck it, I could eat for weeks on this shit.

"You don't make food for him? Both of you are growing kids, you need more than sugar. Take it from me, I ate a lot of candy when I was younger. My mother was right, three of my teeth are fake. Did you know that?"

"Yes, Ms. Maggie. Last time I was here, I believe you enlightened me. Again."

"Don't sass me, boy."

I heard Bella snort to cover her laughter. There were very few people that could take that tone with me and walk away. Maggie was one of those people. Any threats I could make would be useless, even I was above attacking the elderly. I liked her bluntness, she was very mobile for someone her age. One could even say I respected her.

"Consider me warned," I saluted her without being disrespectful.

"Be careful of this one," Maggie warned Bella. "He's a smooth talker, always makes me let him buy this unhealthy crap."

"They're delicious. And I know your guilty pleasure."

Which of these bags held the candy? I rooted through bags in the cart and finally located the assortment of Krackel, Mr. Goodbar, and milk chocolate pieces. It was tradition, I always bought her something when I went shopping. I had forgotten my card once and she let me buy the items on credit, something I later learned was an incredibly rare show of goodwill on her part.

"Take your girl to a nice restaurant. A _nice_ one, mind. Not the diner." She blushed all the same and put the candy next to her Entertainment Weekly.

"He will," Bella shared a knowing look as she finished bagging the rest of our groceries.

"I like you," Maggie said to her. "You'll tell him what's what when he needs it."

"She does," I laughed. "All the time."

"As I said. I like her."

After pressing a button, the total came to nearly three hundred dollars. I pulled out my wallet but Bella put a hand on my wrist.

"No way. This is on me, it was my idea in the first place."

"Most of this stuff is mine," I argued. "It only makes sense that I pay."

"Next time," she insisted.

No way in hell was she winning this little battle. "Ms. Maggie? A little help, if you wouldn't mind?"

"Give me your card," she gestured at me while looking toward Bella. "The guy always buys, dear."

"Thank you." I handed it over and chose Debit instead of Credit on the machine.

Bella muttered something that sounded like 'Just wait.' Maggie smiled to herself as the receipt printed. I signed on the dotted line and pocketed my copy.

"Take care of yourself and Bella-girl."

"Of course," I nodded.

"Really nice meeting you," Bella added.

"If it makes you feel better," I said on our way to the car, "consider the grocery total part of our Newton-given fund."

"You didn't pay in cash."

"Yeah, I know. I thought there might be some questions as to why I'm walking around with hundred dollar bills in my wallet."

"Speaking of, we need to stop at your house real quick. You should drop the _stuff_ off before we go to dinner."

"Good point. You'll have to stay in the car though."

"Why?"

"Because if we're both in my bedroom for any amount of time before we get to your house, Charlie's going to have questions for us."

**o . o . o**

Bella was right. Kettle corn was really pretty good. Sweeter than normal popcorn, I wasn't really sure how I felt about it in comparison with real popcorn. Still, she loved it and I could admit- weird as it was eating the orange and black colored stuff- yeah, it wasn't bad.

"Smells great," Charlie walked through the door.

I had just taken the burgers off the grill and Bella was setting the table. Strange. Weird emotions were filtering through me as I watched her. She went over to a drawer and put circular coaster things on the table. Oh, for the hot food. This way the table wouldn't have marks from anything right out of the oven.

"Edward," Charlie acknowledged me while taking off his jacket. "Good you could join us."

There was no sarcasm in his tone. I was slightly uncomfortable, however. This was my first time sitting down to dinner with my girlfriend and her father. Was it depressing that I'd faced guys in a fight with far less worry than I felt right now? Probably. He had a fucking gun, I saw it holstered at his waist. I wasn't exactly afraid of being shot, but I still wanted to avoid it. While at home I switched jackets and changed my shirt.

"Thank you for inviting me," I cleared my throat. "It was… nice of you."

"Gotta eat, right?"

"Yep," Bella smiled. "You going to take a shower now or later?"

"Everything seems to be ready. Showers can wait."

He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer. Eyeing us, he put the beer back and took out a bottle of soda. Bella put three glasses on the table, all of this was done in silence. … what the fuck was I supposed to do aside from stand here like an ass?

"Can I help with anything else?"

"Nope," Bella answered me. "Take a seat, both of you. I'm just taking the biscuits out now."

"I've got it," I interrupted hastily. "Oven's hot, don't want you to be burned accidentally."

"Okay…"

"Where are your pot-holders?"

"To your left," Bella laughed. "It's funny hearing you say pot-holders."

Using a pair of tongs, I placed the biscuits into a basket Bella had left out for me. She was pouring soda into our glasses as I put them onto the table. I liked that she chose mismatched plates and cups. They definitely had nice ones, I had seen some in the cabinet. These were informal, I didn't have the slightest idea of how to behave. It would have been so much worse if the table was done up properly as Esme preferred when we had company over.

I pulled the chair out for Bella before she sat down. When I saw Charlie nod to himself I relaxed a little bit. He hadn't glared at me once, I took that as a good sign. I wasn't going to get cocky or anything, but it was nice to know that he really did just want to have me over for dinner.

Going back through things I had read over the years, I managed to remember some key points in etiquette. Not sitting before the female had taken her place at the table, check. Waiting to eat until Bella had taken her first bite, check. Old black and white movies were useful that way. Keeping my elbows off the table was the most difficult to keep track of.

I didn't have a problem with that when I was home, but feeling slightly edgy as I did now brought back old reflexes. Hunching over food had been a common thing back when Alice and I lived in the group home. If we didn't guard what we ate, it'd be taken. Like wild fucking dogs, all of them.

"So, you tranq'd the bear?" Bella had begun conversing.

"Yup," Charlie wiped his mouth. "It wasn't too difficult. Cornered it and took'im down. The bear wasn't rabid like I thought."

"No?"

"A couple was cooking something in the forest. The bear smelled their food and came charging into the camp-site. Scared the crap outta them to get it."

"No camping around here, got it." Bella hit the remote for their television, it took a minute for the screen to show a picture.

"I'm not on the news tonight if that's what you're looking for," Charlie looked over at her.

"I'll bet you are," she grinned. "You just don't like all the attention."

"Hmm," he said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

Bella had made those by hand. She peeled, boiled, and got out a hand-held mixer; I put biscuits on the oven tray. There had been macaroni and green beans boiling on separate spaces on the stove. I took the steak out to grill and when I came back she was taking gravy out of the microwave. She thanked me, had me taste the potatoes to see if they needed more salt or butter.

Now we were making small talk with Charlie and watching TV. When everyone was done I nearly tripped over my fucking chair to get the dishes. Bella raised her eyebrow when Charlie turned his attention back to the news. I just shrugged at her; what could I say?

I was eternally grateful to her for letting me wash them. My conversational ability seemed to be short-circuiting and I really didn't know what I was doing. No one else seemed to be tense, it was just me. I needed to calm the fuck down and stepping out for a cigarette, my inner voice warned, wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

"Want to cut the pie Esme sent with you?"

"Pie?" Charlie immediately searched the counter until he located it.

"Blueberry," Bella clarified.

"Thank your Mom for us, Edward."

"Uh, sure."

_Thank you, Bella._ She had given me something to do again. I knew it was bugging her to let me take over the kitchen when I was technically a guest in her house. The only time Bella had seemed uncomfortable was when she was sitting while I worked on something. That was her, though. She was never content to sit around while other people did things for her.

Most of the talking had been done by Bella or Charlie. I kept quiet for the most part aside from commenting when I needed to. Charlie was a pretty reserved person, too. It managed to work without much awkwardness, Bella kept conversation moving during commercials.

Fuck! I nearly dropped the pie. Good thing my subconscious realized how important it was. I had gripped it tighter instead of letting go. Motherfucker had been hot, I failed to notice the hot-plate she put underneath it.

"Careful, its…"

Movement from the corner of my eye made me instantly hide my hand underneath the counter. I wasn't burned badly, the sting would go away in a minute or two. She didn't need to worry about it, I knew Bella would feel like hell.

"Didn't even notice," I chuckled quietly at her instant and heart-felt apology.

There was something about wielding a real weapon that was really calming. Even cutting through pie-crust, for the ten seconds I held the knife, I was able to mentally take a deep breath and relax. There was no reason to be nervous. It was dinner, not a planned ambush.

She finally got up after fidgeting for a few minutes. Opening the freezer, she took out two kinds of ice-cream. From the fridge she popped open a tab for whipped cream and opened a can of cherries. I watched as she put a decent amount of everything on the pie slices. I balanced a plate in the crook of my arm and carried the other two normally. Bella bit her lip, probably to keep from laughing at my unfiltered expression. She took one from me while rolling her eyes. I composed myself before sitting back down.

Seriously? I couldn't believe this was happening. Eating with my girlfriend and her Dad. _So_ fucking weird. Trying to make a good impression? Even more strange. The fact that I actually cared what Charlie thought of me? Aside from people I considered… family, I hadn't ever cared about anyone else.

Bella loved Charlie. He was her father, therefore I considered him someone to watch out for. If anything happened to him, I knew Bella would be devastated. So, yeah, he was another person I added to my List. Charlie was one of those good guys that'd die for anyone. I was a little pickier.

"How's school going, you two?"

"Well," Bella answered after she realized I couldn't speak due to my mouthful of vanilla ice-cream. "Edward and I only have one class together. Spanish."

"Two starting next marking period," I added.

"Two?"

"Yes. Gym. There was a problem with my schedule so I had them change my classes around a little. I didn't need to take Trig II."

"I sound like a parrot, but… gym?"

"Yup. I have Gym, English IV, Psychology V, Calculus, Biology, Lunch and Spanish class with you."

"… cool." She was chewing through the inside of her lip to keep from smiling, I could tell. Yeah, I had switched into her class on purpose. Whenever Bella mentioned the switchover from Health, I noticed her tense up. I pulled a favor or two to keep the vice-president from making a fuss that I'd be missing my Health class. Now probably wasn't the best time to tell her, but I blamed it on my nerves.

Whatever she was worried about, I'd be able to keep an eye on things. Jess and Lauren were in her class, if they gave her any shit I'd launch some volleyballs in their direction. There was nothing that terrified them more than the threat of looking less than perfect for yearbook pictures.

"Did you pick a Spanish soap opera?" she asked.

"A… what?" Charlie looked over at us.

After a hockey game had started, he turned his chair and sat with his side facing us. Bella didn't mind at all, she hadn't let him ask. Waving her hand dismissively, she turned her attention on me and let him watch television in peace.

"It's a project for school," she explained. "We have to pick one Spanish soap opera and translate ten quotes from the show."

"And paraphrase what happens," I remembered. "For the next three weeks, right?"

"Yeah."

"At least it's only two episodes a week. The end project shouldn't be too difficult to put together."

"Not at all." She was done eating, I put her plate on top of mine and settled back in my chair as Charlie finished what was left of his dessert.

"You watch hockey?"

"Sometimes," I answered him.

Okay, not at all. I had seen, maybe, two games in my lifetime. Still, two were better than none. I recalled most of the rules from gym classes over the years.

"Feel like joining me in the living room? The game's barely gotten started, we haven't missed anything."

"Uh… sounds great." He handed me his dish, I stacked all of them together with the silverware on top.

"Leave them in the sink, I'll take care of'em later."

I exchanged a quick look with Bella. This was going to be really interesting. As we settled on the couch with her between the two of us, I really hoped Charlie wouldn't ask me questions. I didn't know what the abbreviated team names stood for. He seemed to be rooting for the guys in blue. I listened intently for some clue about where they were from and, you know, their fucking name. The announcer gave me nothing, bastard.

"You follow any of these guys?"

"Not really," I answered Charlie. "I'm originally from New York…"

Out of all the teams in the world, surely none of these were from New York. What were the fucking odds? Probability was on my side.

"Ah, a Ranger fan. They're not half bad."

I really, really wanted a cigarette. He didn't expect me to know statistics, right? No one aside from hardcore sports followers would know something like that. Had I given any indication that hockey was my die-hard passion? I didn't think so… but- Bella's phone rang before he could answer. Thank fuck.

"Jake? What's going on?"

Jake? Who the fuck was Jake? As in Jacob Black? I could hear a voice through the phone, but it wasn't clear enough for me to verify for sure. Bella nudged me gently while pretending to shift her cell. I slipped my hand over the couch's banister and gripped the fabric underneath it.

Why the fuck was Jacob Black calling her? Had he spoken with her since the parking lot? It was really none of my business, Bella could speak with whomever she pleased. That bit of rational thinking didn't do anything to calm me down. I forced myself to ease back against the couch cushions.

When I turned my head slightly to look over at Charlie, he was staring at me with amusement in his eyes. Shit. I must have been really obvious. No, maybe not. He was a cop and all of them got training.

"What are you doing? Any plans tonight?"

"Nothing much," she replied. "Hanging with my Dad and Edward."

"Think you can get away early? I want time with you, too."

Did he. I wondered what he'd do if I showed up and rammed his face repeatedly against pavement. I'd take out his lackeys first, of course. Any excuse to get back at those two guys that went after Bella. Sam would probably survive. Maybe. I understood his actions and respected what he had done.

I thought they were all fucking cowards for attacking us when we were so out-numbered. They really didn't need to hold my arms behind my back, but Sam at least had conducted himself with a little fucking decency.

She was going to invite me along, presumably. Was I comfortable with letting her go there by herself? It was going to be one huge fucking fight if I tried to stop her. She might go on purpose just to prove a point, I might too if I were her in that scenario.

I was entirely jumping the gun. She wouldn't have set a time and place if she didn't want me present. In fact, I could remember her being surprised when she thought I didn't want to go. No, this was fine. Bella laced her fingers through mine so that my left arm went over my knee, my hand on hers. Yeah, I was going. I pretended to focus all of my attention on the screen rather than on straining to hear Jake's voice.

"What about sometime next week? I'm a little busy tomorrow."

What was he busy with? Was there another female target he needed to take out? Maybe I'd write a check to his optometrist as a good faith present, he needed to get a pair of contacts.

"Okay… uh, well…"

"Don't stay on my account," Charlie said. "If you guys have plans, go ahead."

"Was that your Dad?"

"Yeah, that was Charlie," she grinned.

"Tell him I say hi."

"We didn't have plans with Jacob Black," I leaned a little closer to Bella so he'd be sure to hear my fucking voice.

"Your… friend… is over, too?"

She put her hand around the phone so I couldn't understand what he was saying. He was still talking and I really hadn't liked his tone when he said 'friend.' I was a lot more than Bella's fucking _friend_.

"Naw, get outta here. I'm ready to turn in as it is," he yawned. "Dinner was great and thank you for it."

"I'm sure we could reschedule…"

"Sure, okay," Bella stopped short when she realized what I said. She bit her lip again and I nodded minutely to let her know it was fine.

It really, really wasn't, but whatever the fuck. If she wanted to go, at least I knew we were going together.

"See you in an hour?"

"Can't wait."

Motherfucker.

"I'm going to change," Bella glanced down at her clothes. "I'll be right down."

Charlie grunted, I let go of her hand so she could get up. I was now alone in the living room with her Dad. Great. I studied his expression carefully and was finally satisfied that I saw no malice.

"Tired, huh?"

"I've been up since four this morning." He ran a hand across his face probably to hide the fact that his lips twitched.

"You're friends with Billy Black, right?"

I remembered Carlisle mentioning something like that. The Police Chief of Forks was close, personal friends with the head of law enforcement on the Res. Fanfuckingtastic, really.

"Yup."

"Yeah…"

And Billy Black was Jacob's father, so far as I knew. How the son of someone in law enforcement had become a gang leader, I'd never know. Then again, Bella had dealt drugs… but that was far from here, she didn't do it right under Charlie's nose. Sort-of.

Fine, so we were all guilty of some kind of fuckery. That didn't mean I wanted to bond with Jacob about it. My cigarettes were burning a hole through my front pocket. I was going to smoke the fuck out of them when we got out of here. Good thing the Res was nearly an hour away.

Charlie was still amused. His sense of humor was really out there. He wasn't trying to break us up, I searched but I couldn't see any vicious satisfaction in his expression. This was probably to keep me on guard, a test of sorts. He was a good-natured person, I couldn't see any motive in inviting me over for dinner just to try and hook Bella up with his friend's son. It didn't make sense. I was pretty well-educated in deceit and I'd officially swear that Charlie didn't mean to cause any serious trouble for me. Jake, much as I disliked him, seemed to be Bella's friend. Maybe her only friend here, once upon a time.

If she wore a skirt for him, I'd give him a black eye. Maybe two. _Friend_. The way he said it… Jake was an asshole.

**Authors End Note:  
**I should have finished this chapter first. 'sigh. Charlie's POV should come after this one instead of before it. Sorry again. The author's notes are going to be a little screwy here, but bear with me. It'll all clear up next chapter! Thanks for sticking with me, my apologies again for the fuckery.

**Authors End Note 2:  
AngelaSampedro99-  
**Thanks! I was iffy on writing it, but since Carlisle was already written… I wanted both Dad's POV's. Hope this chapter makes you groan in a good way, haha.

**Bookfreaklover, San4jon, Observer2, LadyChery, BundySarah, Maplestyle, LMAO, acw1, Parkesy23, Willistongirl, 1dreamkeeper-  
**Thank you, everyone! Your comments are always read and very much appreciated. Thank you for taking time to review and for the Charlie support! =D

**Tghb-  
**No problem, thanks for reviewing! I'm not sure what Phil's real problem is yet, I'll figure that all out if Bella goes back to Phoenix. Not sure about Esme, either, come to think about it. People are strange, eh?  
**o  
**Your review did go through, thanks for taking the time to write another one! I'm glad you liked the Playlist, I had a little trouble with that, too. Any insights you can share are always appreciated. And I really enjoy your reviews, thank you so much. =D

**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Thank you! And you always give good advice… better with the chapters changed around?  
**o  
**And that's exactly what I wanted to show in Charlie's chapter. There are things he's seen that Renee wasn't paying attention to. Not to mention what she's like in his eyes.  
**o  
**I'll do my best to incorporate some violence in for you! I love writing fight scenes, they make me happy.

**Drkvcrtry-  
**Awesome, Charlie fans are exciting. There aren't very many of them that I've come across. I'm glad you liked the chapter so much, thanks!

**TwiSagaLover-  
**It's strange, but I don't know how I'm going to explain Jacob yet. Especially now that this chapter has me kinda boxed in. His Dad, apparently, is a pretty major person in law enforcement over on the Res. How does Jake… work? Hahaha. Thank you for the awesome compliments and we'll be on the Res next time you read! ^_^

**VAVikingGirl-  
**Thanks very much, haha. I enjoy reading stories free of angst, too. At one point I was in the middle of **Clipped Wings**, **Wide Awake**, and **The Red Line**. Yeesh. So I had to take a step back with **The List**, heh. Way too much, emotional overload. I do, however, recommend those stories to anyone who is a fan of E/B. Amazing, all of them.

**Amethice-  
**Oblivious, yes, absolutely! And I agree with all of your points. He is pretty old-fashioned, I figured, because he didn't change the house around when Renee left. Bella's room was the same- springing for faster internet connection and cable… he didn't have those already? O.o  
**o  
**I believe that their trip to Washington D.C. was the only time he's been out of Forks. His father died when he was pretty young and Renee, so far as I know, was the only person he was ever truly interested in. Sorry, Charlie, that turned out _well_. It gave him Bella, so I guess it did?  
**o  
**And it makes sense to me that out of everyone he's cared about, she's the only one that he truly has a chance to connect with. He sobered up for her, I was really proud of him for that. I also think he's rather gentlemanly because while he background checked Jasper and Edward, he didn't look into Alice's past. He came clean to Carlisle about looking into Edward, right? Heh.  
**o  
**The reason I didn't have him fully grasp Bella's lifestyle was selfish on my part. I needed those details to  
remain a little secretive for another chapter or two.  
**o  
**At any rate, all facts will be revealed shortly. Getting there, I swear! There's so much to explain yet- more of Edward's tattoos, Mike's money factor, more about Alice and Jasper, etc. Thank you for the fuck-awesome reviews! =D!

**Angel04une-  
**I have to admit, Charlie POV was difficult. Frustrating at times, too. I kept having to change sentences because what I wrote wasn't what he would think. My normal vocabulary isn't really his, haha. I'm glad you caught that… what Bella's hiding under the jacket. I'll try to post pictures for both of them!

**Eva Wilson-  
**Thank you for the constructive criticism, first of all. =). And I can agree with you to some point. I went back and read through most of my story and I have to say… yeah, the timing was pretty bad. Leaving the previous chapter hanging with Edward and Bella in the car and going straight to Dad POV wasn't the wisest decision.  
**o  
**I do, however, feel that there are some things he's seen that no one else would be able to describe. Bella, being self-sacrificing and really introverted at that time- especially with Renee's ignoring the core of her problem- needed someone who noticed. Charlie did, and while she explained her behavior away, there were obviously serious things that needed to be addressed.  
**o  
**I want to go back eventually and clean that chapter up a little. The reason I don't do that now is because I'm not sure what's going to happen next. This chapter really, really should have come first. You're right in saying that the feel of this story was lost. I'll rectify things best I can and hope that it works. =) Thank you for your honesty, I appreciate it greatly. I hope I haven't lost you as a reader, and if I have… thanks for sharing all of your comments!

**Badass Edward-  
**Wow, thank you for all the reviews!

**Minnakoda-  
**Thanks very much! Your phrasing was amusing, thank you! ^_^

**Cat5050-  
**EPOV here and lemony-ish! I think there was progress in this chapter. Edward and Bella are more of a couple, I think they've both changed a little bit because of it. He helps her and vice-versa. The dinner itself, I believe, was pretty telling. Edward came to some revelations that I feel are really important. They were both rather domestic here, I'm curious to see how long that's going to last. Thanks for your fun review!

**Astha Cullen-  
**Foreshadowing in this chapter for how Edward might act in Chapter 32. He's really been restraining himself lately, I haven't begun to try and plot things out yet. Too much going on, not to mention my realization that- oh hey, the last chapter shouldn't have been there. 'gah. Kicking myself over that still, =P.

**Les16-  
**O.O. I'm absolutely flattered, thank you very much!  
**o  
**I won't give anything away, but I hope you like the rest of the story as much as you enjoyed the first chapter! Thanks for coming back, and making time, to review!  
**o  
**No problem, haha. I've never had much trouble with Bella or Edward in this story, I 'hear' them all the time. =P. Alice is the most difficult for me. In my head it seems she should be a lot younger than she is. Not sure why.  
**o  
**Good luck with your story! I look forward to reading it! I have a long list saved on my computer for when this story slows down. I'll definitely be over to review soon. =D. I have to say, there are cases in which I like shy Bella. It does get a little annoying when that's All there is. With no personal growth, I guess, stories don't seem to go anywhere.

Bella's full of surprises, indeed. I can't take credit for all aspects of their characters. I borrowed some of their traits from Stephanie Meyer and then worked to deepen them. Yeah, I sound idiotic. That's what fan fiction is, haha. My apologies, I started writing around 4am and its 3pm now. 'yawn.  
**o  
**Thank you for continuing to review even though you wanted to write! I'm so glad you're liking Bella so much, she's so much fun to work with! As a writer, I really hope they're not what you expected. And if they are, I'm hoping they're at least unpredictable enough to keep you interested. =D.  
**o  
**Thank you, thank you for all of your reviews! I write them as I 'hear' them and so I've thanked the muses many times for their help. It's been very cathartic writing Edward and Bella, I've figured some things out and managed to see things from strange perspectives, heh. I really want to thank Robert Pattinson because most of the body language I've seen from him. His performance in Remember Me, as one example. Despite being attractive, he seems like a really interesting person. Kristen Stewart, too, though her mannerisms aren't as prevalent in this story. =/  
**o  
**I'm really happy you liked the dance! It was so much fucking fun to write. I overlooked Jasper the first time around in the books, especially in the movies. I have high hopes for 'Eclipse' where they promise he'll have a pretty integral role on-screen. As of now, it's a tie as to which character I like more. This Edward has been really easy to understand. Jasper, too, for the most part.  
**o  
**It's a little difficult writing him in that I don't want him to sound like a… playboy. You know what I mean? I want to make it clear that Alice is his and he's not switching opinion back and forth between her and Bella. Jas and Bella have a very different relationship and I Still don't know why he feels so strongly toward her or why he's so protective. =P. My apologies for your writing time, haha, and I hope you sleep well!  
**o  
**Ooohh, 'Emergency,' yeah, that chapter was both fun and challenging to write at the same time. I'm not a huge Jacob fan, either. In my other story, Phantasms, I was incredibly pissed when he took over. Maybe that's part of the reason I stopped writing it? Oh, and the Bella and Edward in that story were much different, too. I got in over my head writing about emotions and things that I don't… feel, haha. I like possessive and edgy guys. Romantics are great, too, but- he's not going to turn her voluntarily and he left? Uh… fuck that, heh. Not to mention the utter lack of physical closeness. 'eyes cross'  
**o  
**I'm really happy you liked the fight, too! I'm not sure why Paul's so assaholic. Quick-tempered would be a better description, whoops. And I agree with you, Jake hasn't been bad so far. The next chapter I write will be the 'tell all' so I hope he's content to stay far back. 'crosses fingers.  
**o  
**Edward has a Lot of issues. Bella, too. Thank you very much for all of your comments. And quick note- I bought "Twilight: Director's Notebook" by Catherine Hardwicke. I wish I'd owned this when my story started, they have blueprints for the Cullen house, Bella's house, the school, etc. So much Twilight information, it's really helped thus far. I highly recommend it to you for your story. No offense meant just that… I love it, haha. I definitely hope to hear from you again and thanks so very much!

**MyEdwardJacob-  
**Hmm… that's a good question. I'm not sure how to answer. What makes Bella innocent with her past being the way it is and all of the things she's done.  
I personally think Edward's rather innocent, too. Their view of the world is skewed, Edward's especially. He still takes care of Alice, hates to see women cry. With Ms. Maggie, well- I'm going about this the wrong way. Sorry. Back to Bella.  
She isn't a corrupt person, I guess, is my answer. There's no true evil in her. Darkness, yes, but that's true of everyone, I think. She sees so much in other people yet her self-view isn't great. I've based her on a bunch of things and while she's sexually experienced and has fighting knowledge, she still cares about people. She went out on a limb for Mike Newton and potentially risked her life a bunch of times for Edward. Her first day at Forks High and she was sent to the hospital to save someone she had, maybe, ten minutes conversation with. (Alice.)  
She's very protective of Alice, very much like Edward in that regard. I consider her innocent because she's managed to remain a good person. She doesn't attack Jessica like she goes after Lauren because she feels it would be wrong. I see her as the type that is slow to anger, but when she lashes out… it's because someone she loves is threatened. Like when she lashed out at Jacob after seeing the damage done to Edward.

She grew up much too fast and while she had an okay childhood, she matured very quickly and consequently didn't know how to handle all of the information she was able to process.  
Unlike Edward, she doesn't ever drive while under the influence and she does know the difference between right and wrong. Edward lacks that, too, his world is very black and white as of a few chapters ago. Kill or be killed, that sort of thing. And while Bella can relate, she sees all aspects of a situation and bases what she does on a 'universal' scale rather than just her emotions.  
To Edward, Bella is pure. He's only known the dark side of human nature- up until Carlisle and Esme, of course. Alice has done her part, but Bella loves him in a way that she can't. It can be argued that Alice loves him in a way Bella can't, but he sees 'salvation' in Bella, I guess. She affects him to the point where he instantly calms down when she touches him, he's aware of her and her safety even while drugged on PCP.  
Bella cares about people he wouldn't waste time on. So, I guess you're right. In a worldly sense, Bella isn't innocent. Yet because Edward believes it so deeply- sees the compassion and goodness in her- she's begun to believe it, too, which is what she needs because she was on the verge of losing all of those good qualities before she got to Forks.  
I hope this long reply made sense, haha. Thanks for the thought-provoking question!

**Jansails-  
**I actually have no idea what that hug was about. **Amethice **mentioned that he must be really old-fashioned to reach the results he did. I agree with that. I'll explain more soon though I really don't think there will be another Charlie POV in this story. Too difficult to write and he's not one for expressing himself in any great detail. =p.  
**o  
**Carlisle and Esme, at least in BPOV or EPOV, have a lot more to say, no worries there. I know a lot of plot-twists have been pushed to the side, but I have a notebook full of them and I'm crossing things off slowly, heh. By the end, I'll really try not to leave anything unanswered. Thank you for the awesome review, Jan, you're amazing!

**Badass Edward Review Gir-  
**Haha, Invader Zim fan?  
I used to blank out in class all the time, heh. That's where I got most of my writing done. Yeah, I dropped out, so my comments on the subject pretty much end there. You have my sympathies, and I wish you luck on graduating! I'll toast you when you've got the degree! ^_^

**Bananahzz-  
**Thank you! What you described is what I hoped to accomplish with his POV. I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter so much. =)

**Sarix Angel-  
**I noticed that and I hope everything is going well for you now! Thanks for taking the time to get back to this story. =) And I appreciate everyone's reviews. It's interesting to me the different ways people express themselves. The things they notice that I might have missed, what they gained from it when someone else might have an entirely different spin on what was written.  
And thank you very much for your compliment to the Playlist. It really means a Lot to me. I try to connect phrases in the story for when the song appears, or the emotion attached in the least. Everyone reads at a different pace, though, so I'm never sure if what I'm hearing at the moment will be the same for someone who reads faster or slower, and if it makes sense. =)  
Thanks, Sarix Angel, and hopefully you're back now! If not, I hope to hear from you sometime again in the future. Thanks for keeping up with 'The Handcuff Bracelet,' you're awesome!

**Mallorylee-  
**I'm very, very flattered that you love this story so much! I can safely say, yes, you will definitely be seeing Emmett and Rose in this story. Don't want to give all the details away, but they'll definitely, one hundred percent be making an appearance. =D

**Christykq-  
**There's plenty of 'domesticity' in this chapter, at least in my point of view. The feelings Edward felt, while not named… I do believe he's looking into the far-future and he likes what he's envisioned. I hope you liked their interaction and fun at the grocery store!

**Hannah Lightwood-  
**Wow, thank you! I'm really not concretely sure how much longer this story is going to go. Another eighteen chapters I estimated a day or so ago. Things keep developing so it might be more than that. I've toyed with the idea of doing a Prequel, but not sure how well that would go considering all of the detail that's in this one.  
This story has left a huge impact on me and I don't want to see it go, either. I don't want it to drag on and be one of those 'was good' stories, you know? If I can pick these characters back up in either a sequel or a prequel, I'll jump on the opportunity. =D. It might be fun to delve deep into their pasts and write as they're happening rather than flashbacks. I also have two chapters in Jasper POV for a story with him and Alice, using them as characters in this story. Once I have a plotline I'll continue writing it, but right now I'm all over the place trying to figure things out for All them here. O.o  
I'm incredibly honored that The Handcuff Bracelet is one of your favorite stories in fan fiction. Thank you very much for that amazing compliment!

**Karen4honor-  
**It made sense, =D. Thank you for your continued support and, of course, all of the wonderful things you've written over the past thirty chapters! I always love reading your reviews.

**Dazzleglo-  
**Alice is really difficult for me to 'hear.' I really don't know why. I love her character in the books and the movies so much… there's a lot I want to develop when it comes to her past; the friendship she has with Bella, more on her and Edward. I have to sit down, listen to some girl music, and get into her head, haha. With Bella POV coming up, I'm hoping she'll make an appearance. It's been awhile since she got a real scene- working on it! =D Thank you for your compliments on Charlie. You mentioned all of the things I wanted to convey- and then some! ^_^

**Final Note-  
**Thanks to everyone who added me to their Story/Author Favorite lists! And special thanks to anyone who rec'd The Handcuff Bracelet on their blog, Twitter, or personal website!


	31. Wild One

**Chapter 31  
- Wild One**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:**  
Taking a quick moment to thank everyone who has followed this story! We're on Chapter 31 and you all have reviewed over 550 times. Thanks so very much!  
**Authors Note 3:**  
I'm not exactly sure what a 40+ guy of Charlie's type sounds like. I winged it, haha. Hopefully he doesn't end up sounding too feminine… I think this will be good. There's been so much focus on Edward, I didn't want Bella's story to get lost. What better way to develop her past than to get an entirely new perspective on things?

**Taking A Break-**  
In the middle of the chapter, figured I'd leave a note. I have to apologize ahead of time for any choppiness. There are a _lot _of years to span and I don't want to go into every tedious detail. I am, however, trying not to skip around too much. It should connect, 'crosses fingers. Not sure if we'll hear from Charlie again and there are a lot of questions he needs to answer.  
Medical facts popped up. They aren't factual. I've no idea if a healed dislocated shoulder would show up as a shadow in a future x-ray. I tried researching x-rays and medical procedures online but it was taking too much time. If anyone has any insight, by all means send me a PM or comment what might happen in reality. Bear with me. I apologize to Carlisle for botching facts…  
I wish Bones or Kathy Reichs were here. She could explain everything, haha. I remember an episode where Seeley was in the hospital, she had gone over his x-rays. She was able to determine things about his past from what she found. 'Sigh. It'd be interesting.

**Playlist  
I Love This Town- **Jon Bon Jovi  
**Beer, Bait and Ammo- **Sammy Kershaw  
**I Love This Bar- **Toby Keith  
**My Little Girl- **Tim McGraw  
(Warning to anyone with parent issues. Kind of a sad song… no need for excuses to drink, right?)|  
**As Good As I Once Was- **Toby Keith  
**Daughter- **Pearl Jam  
**Wild One- **Faith Hill  
**Dude Looks Like A Lady- **Aerosmith

**Charlie's Point of View**

I don't know what in hell prompted me to invite the Cullen boy over for dinner, but once I had issued an invitation… couldn't take it back. Bella was over there almost every night. Work had been keeping me real busy and with Carlisle and Esme rotating shifts, the kids were taken care of. I'd have all of them over to the house if the favor needed to be repaid.

When the family first moved here, I heard a lot of rumors circulating about them. I didn't care about how much money they made or where they had come from. Forks was getting two licensed doctors, one of which was a surgeon. The boy, Edward I learned his name was, helped out in the hospital on a few occasions. Any family with that many people in the medical field, I figured they had to be good people.

Back then, nothing really mattered to me. My wife had run off with my kid, and the bastard of the matter was that Renee was right. I had no great ambition, I had lived in Forks all my life. When Pop passed away, I was just finishing my training with Forks Police Department. A year or two later and not only did I have a house, but I was next in line to be Police Chief. I was happy with the way things were. The town had plenty to keep me occupied. County fairs, fishing tournaments, hunting- what else did I need? I was making enough money to support myself comfortably. And then Renee walked off a bus and into my life.

She was a damn tornado of energy, excitement… like how I'd picture New York City. I got to know her, we met for dinner at the diner once or twice. Port Angeles was more her style, she loved walking through the city with me. Everything was interesting to her. I had fallen for her pleasure in the simple things. A deer head hanging in the police station amused her. She'd pat its head every time I needed to stop in for something. When I gathered her some wildflowers, she liked those better than store bought ones, her face would light up.

She was losing money by staying at a hotel. I had an entire house to myself and plenty of extra bedrooms. My mother probably rolled over in her grave, an unmarried woman coming to live with a bachelor. Renee laughed when I asked if the idea would make her uncomfortable. Apparently, in New York, she moved out of her parent's house and into a one-bedroom apartment shared between two people. It wasn't her boyfriend, but he might as well should have been, she said. Living in close quarters with a guy didn't bother her.

It was kinda nice sharing my place with someone. I quickly learned her habits, she adjusted to mine. Maybe two weeks passed before I started noticing changes. The windows had curtains, there was a rug in the living room. All of the plates matched, I had a coaster to put underneath my beer can.

She loved trout, which was great because I loved fishing for it. The recipes she knew, well, I didn't know there were more than two involving fish. We were married before the year was out. Her parents came to the small ceremony and quickly left without staying the night. They didn't approve. I didn't care. She was twenty, I was twenty-three, and not only did we have jobs, but I'd been supporting myself for years. My mother passed when I was a kid, it had been Pop and I running things from there on out. He taught me all I needed to know and made sure I had a job.

When Renee became pregnant, nothing could be better. We were both happy and confident that everything would work as it should. When she went into labor, I refused to stand outside and wait. Renee had absolutely no problem with my being in the delivery room. I left my gun at home, but that didn't stop her from ordering me to shoot one or two of the doctors. They were incompetent and taking too long, her baby wanted to be born. Couldn't I arrest them, anything to get them away. I laughed and held her hand, talked her through breathing exercises; it one was long night. Renee had become frustrated with everyone. She got anyone in the room with us to stop and be quiet, Isabella Swan was born in a chaotic made peaceful environment.

We'd call her Bella for short, and the name suited her. She was beautiful. I had my doubts about being a good father. What did I know of little girls and, later on, young women? I was going to be a stick-in-the-mud Dad, I knew it.

When she opened her blue eyes, I was hooked. This was my daughter. I loved her immediately. Books didn't prove to be helpful. Who the hell sits outside a room and listens to their kid cry? What in the hell? She'd be raring to get away from us soon enough, I didn't need to speed up that process.

Renee had a lot of fun turning one of the bedrooms into a nursery. I built the crib and all of the furniture for that room. She, too, gave up on reading parenting books and worked with me to create our own method. We read to her from the beginning, Renee had decided to be an artist so there were always brightly colored things for the baby to look at. She painted outside of the house right underneath the baby's window. The wind blew any fumes away from the house, she always had a good view, and she'd instantly hear if Bells cried. Bella, if babies can process those things, was able to see Renee with the way her crib was positioned.

She was always a relatively quiet child. I swear she smiled each time I brought a bottle over to her. Bella was a real smart kid even from the beginning. She was curious about everything. I definitely saw Renee's spirit in her. When she wanted something, she managed to find a way to get it. Yet, I also saw a hint of my characteristics as Bella got older. Rather than constantly asking questions, she watched and figured things out on her own. She sat for hours with our dog and flipped through picture books. Renee was thrilled when Bella went through an artistic phase. The house had been covered with construction paper at one point.

My main concern had been that Bells didn't seem to have any friends. We threw birthday parties, of course, but Bella didn't really enjoy herself until everyone left. We let her share a small piece of cake with Buddy, our dog at the time. She would hug him and kiss his nose, thank him for staying in the kitchen for her party. I voiced my concerns to Renee, but her feedback wasn't very helpful. I agreed that Bella was a creative child. Yes, I understood that artists tend to seek solitary comfort. Bells was five years old, any kid that age should be friends with their classmates no matter how intelligent they are.

When she graduated and moved to a new school things seemed a little better. The years had flown, Bella was in fourth grade before I knew it. She traded books with a girl in her class, her first friend, and I tried to help by having Billy's son come by whenever I went fishing. Jacob Black was a good boy, his father would make sure he stayed that way.

Their first meeting hadn't gone very well. I took most of the blame for that, it had been my fault after all. Jake had taken one of Bella's stuffed animal's hostage. Billy was in the kitchen with me and we were finishing our coffee, watching the weather report. A thud sounded from the den. I got into the room just in time to see Bella punch Jake in the chin. She was wrestling him to the ground in a move I showed her as Billy and I stepped in. Jacob took it well even though Bells refused to apologize. I couldn't exactly scold her for anything because, as she put it, the toy was her friend and Jake was hurting it. The only option I had was to make sure she knew not to use physical violence unless it was an emergency.

She seemed to get on along alright with Jacob. They argued and fought but Bells never hit him again. She came real close when Jake accidentally stepped on Buddy's tail. When he didn't say sorry to the dog, she took great offense. By the end, Jacob was feeding him dog bones and promising to bring something from the Res.

At age ten, Jake was still her only friend. She closed the door to her room and read or did her homework alone most of the time. When she went outside, it was to wander the woods by herself. She was unusually quiet and Renee still didn't think it was something to be concerned about. Her daughter, she told me, was a kindred spirit. If she preferred to be unaccompanied to pursue her passion, we shouldn't stand in her way.

… sure, honey.

I finally got Bella to admit the problem. As was her habit, she was in her bedroom with a book. I talked about her upcoming birthday, whether she wanted to invite anyone in particular. She answered with one or two worded sentences. I wasn't going to sit back any longer, there were underlying issues here. She told me that Jake was definitely coming and that a few people from school would show up. It took a few more minutes of simple conversation until she finally admitted the truth.

_'Your job is more important than making friends. You keep us safe.'_

It broke my heart. I had never considered how negatively my job would affect her. While people in town liked me, I had known them for most of my life, everyone had something to hide. I could think of a few reasons why their children would clam up around Bella. Drugs in Forks had always been an issue; why parents would allow that stuff around their kids is beyond me.

I thought about trying different jobs. There were few things I was qualified for, but living life in a country town meant that the open employment was relatively similar. Bella was always good at understanding the root of a situation. Too good. She should have told me a long time ago. Ten years friendless because she didn't want me to worry. When she found out I was thinking of quitting the police force, she threw a fit. I relented only because she refused to speak with anyone. Not even Buddy got verbal attention. Determined as hell, that was Bella.

Around that time, Renee was becoming bored with the way we lived. She wanted more. More… what? When she became my wife, it was agreed that Forks was the right place for us. I had steady employment and friends we could call on. No one in her family was willing to help us, she burned her bridges with them long ago.

We fought on and off, then all the time. I tried to keep Renee calm until after Bella had gone to sleep. We'd sit in the den, no one saying a word, until the clock rang at ten o'clock. Bella was always asleep after that point. I had usually thrown a few back. Beer helped drown Renee's accusations out. There was never any conclusion to our fights. Ren wanted to move out toward California. I didn't see any logic in that plan. If I were to start over somewhere else, we would take a huge income loss. I had no desire to live in a huge city surrounded by smog.

'The people, the lights, finally being the artist I know I can be…'

Somehow, without alerting me to what she was doing- maybe I didn't want to know- Renee suddenly had a well paying job in Phoenix. Her parents bought her some property after she called them for help. There was no point in going through a custody battle. She had a bigger house than I could ever hope to afford, a job that paid more than mine, and a settled plan for their future. As she pointed out, Bella would be able to start new. She'd be exposed to different people, new experiences. Forks was stifling them, they needed to relocate.

Bells still came to visit on holidays, but things were never truly the same between us. When I talked to Bella on the phone, she seemed happy. She had friends and was at the top of her class. Renee was fine, they were doing well… I put on Happy-Dad voice and spent Christmas at the bar.

There were a few years that Renee conveniently had a holiday emergency to deal with. Christmas went by without seeing Bella. Then another year passed. I received report cards and medical records. I'd send her cards at every holiday, presents on the major ones. Bella came to stay for a few days after her fifteenth birthday and I got the feeling that she couldn't wait to fly out of here.

I left them alone after that. When I shopped, it wasn't for beer or food. I started on hard liquor with ice in glasses, which became hard liquor straight from the bottle. When I called her on the day of her seventeenth birthday, Bella asked when she'd be able to visit again. My schedule wasn't something that needed to be planned around. If she was coming to Forks, I'd take time off work.

I paid for the plane tickets and had three months to sober up. Carlisle Cullen was rumored to be one of the best doctors referred not only around Forks, but New York, too. I scheduled an appointment with him. It seemed like a reasonable plan. The physical was fine, I got a clean bill of health. Carlisle had me meet with him in his private office. We talked about different options for my problem with alcohol. Hypnosis was a damn crazy idea, I didn't put any faith in magic and head mumbo-jumbo.

Carlisle explained the process as best he could. I thought it over. There wasn't time for a twelve-step program. If someone wanted to look deep in my eyes to help me sober up, that was fine by me. I went back to beer, Carlisle warned me not to stop cold turkey. The hypnotist saw me three weeks later.

When I went back to thank Carlisle for all of his help I made sure to bring London broil and t-bone steaks with me. The Doc had gone above and beyond, I wanted to show my gratitude. He didn't need to refer me so far away from Forks, but I understood later that he was helping me save face. I had been functioning, for the most part. The guys knew I was dedicated and while they might have been concerned, I assured them I was fine. When I cleaned the house before Bells got here, that was when I realized how very far from fine I'd been. Beer bottles lay all over the place, some of them were dust covered.

Pop would have been ashamed of the place. I opened the windows and bought some scented spray stuff at the grocery store. Esme and Alice showed up unexpectedly with a tree and decorations two days before Bella was to arrive. I had gotten to know Carlisle and Esme Cullen well. Out of consideration, they had me over to their house when the kids weren't home. I wouldn't have minded either way, but seeing them together as a family… I missed my daughter.

Our friendship worked on both a professional and casual level. The head of Forks Police Department and the leading surgeon at Forks Hospital collaborating with one another? My superiors gave me a raise for bridging the gap between the two divisions. Things were pretty quiet in our area, but every now and then we would all sit down with coffee to discuss a case.

Alice dropped by once with festive food the day before Bella's arrival. She apologized for looking in my freezer, I laughed, it didn't upset me. The food was to save me time from going to the store again, she let me invite her in. Making it seem like a favor rather than another example of how out of touch I was with the whole parenting thing, Alice put everything away in its proper place.

Cranberry sauce, chicken, breadsticks, cherry pie. She even had a larger Tupperware container full of mashed potatoes, a measuring cup with gravy to go with it. Alice had taken the initiative and wrote, on small post-its, how long the item should go in a microwave. I thanked her, of course, and after an awkward moment of silence I asked what her family wanted for Christmas. She rolled her eyes at me and then, suddenly, grew serious.

Edward had a habit of speeding, she told me. He was, however, a really good driver having never gotten behind the wheel on any substances. If it were possible, would I mind not pulling him over if he was driving safely? Her eyes reminded me of a puppy, and after I saw homemade whipped cream in the fridge… how could I say no?

I warned her that he really did need to be safe. When she assured me that Edward didn't drive while under the influence and he didn't partake of hard drugs, I agreed. I usually overlooked speeding. Only around Spring did I crack down, deer were breeding and the likelihood of totaling a car due to hitting a stag was much higher.

I barely slept that night. The house looked pretty damn good. Thanks to the Cullens I wouldn't need to take Bells to the diner. Any weapons in the house were back in my bedroom and locked away. I checked, double-checked, and triple checked the flight schedule. After getting a cup of coffee and a hot chocolate in the morning, I headed over to the airport.

My little girl had grown up. She was wearing a large red sweater, blue jeans, and green sneaker-like shoes. Only one bag was thrown over her shoulder, she was looking out one of the glass windows. When I took her shoulder, she jumped. This was her, I saw her cheeks flush in a customary blush.

"Hey," she half-smiled and looked at me through her hair.

Phoenix was supposed to get a lot of sun. I wouldn't have known with how pale Bella was. So damn thin, too. I'd have to talk with Renee about improving her diet. Her daughter was withering away, didn't she see it?

"Hey, yourself." I took her bag. "You're lookin' good. Healthy."

"Thanks. You too." She cleared her throat, "You sure it's okay if I stay at the house? I looked online at hotels… just in case…"

I studied her carefully. She hadn't glanced at me once during that whole speech. Biting her lip, hands deep in her pockets; she thought I was going to allow that? Like hell.

"Got a Christmas tree," I smiled at her. "Your old room's waiting for you, too. Need anything on the way home?"

"Nope." Her eyes lit up in relief, "Thank you."

What had happened to her? I wasn't going to start interrogating her in the middle of an airport.

"You remembered."

I opened the passenger door for her. What was she talking about? Oh, the red poppy wound around my rearview mirror. Another present from Alice, she said it was based in a good cause. I knew what those little flowers looked like. This one was very… flowery. Large, too. I tried protesting, but she wouldn't hear of it. She promised it'd be good for me.

"One of your favorites," I remembered instantly. Strange.

"Yeah. It's cool, Dad. Your car has character."

We were both smiling, staring straight ahead. Bella messed around with the radio and turned some country music up. Things seemed to fall into place after that. She called me Dad.

Dinner went well, she seemed really impressed by the spread of food. It started snowing around ten at night. When I woke up, Bella had breakfast ready. It was nine in the morning and, I looked out the window, at least three feet had fallen. We watched the Macy's Day Parade on television. At noon she asked if I wanted a beer. The surprise on her face when I declined…

"The last time you saw me, I'm real sorry about that, Bells."

"You're- I just thought-? Forget I said anything."

"Now's as good a time as any. Unless you don't want to talk…"

"No, it's fine by me. Uh, you start, I guess?"

So I did. I started talking and found it to be a lot easier than I thought. There were so many things, it turned out, that we needed to have out in the open. I made sure she knew that I loved her, and had always loved her. We cleared up some facts concerning the divorce. She told me a little about Phoenix, but I knew major details were being left out. When I asked why she was so thin, Bells flushed deep red and said she didn't get hungry often. My ass. I had seen her scarf down two plates of food and head back for pie.

This morning she had eaten four pancakes, some sausage, and two eggs. I'd definitely be calling Renee, this needed to be resolved. She had always taken after me when it came to food. Bells wasn't the type to starve herself on purpose or skip meals.

By the end of our conversation, Bella smiled more easily and stopped questioning herself. I had noticed that above everything else. At dinner, especially. She asked me if it were okay each time she reached for something on the table. As though there weren't enough food and she was afraid I wasn't full yet… the pieces were coming together.

She was real quiet for the rest of that day. I let her be assuming that after such deep conversation, she'd probably want time to herself. The mood wasn't stressed, I didn't get the feeling that Bells wanted to high tail it out of here.

In fact, right before we headed to bed, she sat down on the couch next to me.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my time with you thinking about when I'm going to leave. We can plan when I'll see you again now so that when I leave… it's not like I won't be coming back. That makes sense, right?"

"Sure."

"I'll have two weeks off in April for Spring break. If you're not doing anything then, would you mind if I took vacation here?"

"Of course not. You're welcome anytime, you know that. If it weren't so late into the school year, I'd ask if you might want to transfer here. I know what your answer will be, but I get the feeling Phoenix isn't working for you...?"

"It's alright," she studied the couch fibers. "Um, Mom will probably tell you anyway. We don't have the house anymore. The new place isn't that bad, it's an apartment… We all have plenty of space."

"Renee lost the house?"

"No… we could have kept it. Just, Phil was supposed to be signed by a Pro team. I was going to get a job, but Renee didn't want me to. So, uh, we moved."

I knew how to read between the lines. Renee had a very manipulative streak, it made an appearance every time we had fought. She had gotten me to think I wasn't providing enough for Bella. Now that I was seeing Bells for the first time in over three years. This wasn't the girl I knew.

She had always been rather serious. Always reading, though she laughed the most when taking part in that past time. I tried teaching her to play baseball, but after an incident with the bat and a tree… she got two new bookshelves. It was my way of trying to atone for the way things ended. Bells never minded, she laughed all of the pain away over a bowl of ice-cream with me. Trying soccer gave me a black eye, she came home with sprained fingers after playing volleyball in school. That memory always made me laugh.

_Renee was busy with something at home so I made the trip down to the school. Bella was sitting in the Principal's office still dressed in her gym uniform. She was flushed with anger and had an ice pack over her hand. _

"_Dad," she acknowledged me as I closed the door. _

"_What's this all about?" _

"_Your daughter is refusing to take gym class." _

"_No, not exactly," Bella stood. "I won't play volleyball again. There are two weeks left, I'll study in the library or something. I sprained a finger yesterday because I'm awful when it comes to playing sports. Two people went to the nurse because I had to serve. Now, today, I sprained another finger." _

_She held up her hand and I winced. Her hand was swollen and bruised already. I didn't need to hear anymore. It really would be a lot safer for everyone involved if she'd be able to skip out. _

"_See, this wouldn't be a problem if I weren't so clumsy. My hand eye coordination's bad. So, to occupy my time, I write a lot. I can't do that when my dominant hand is injured and won't be healed for a day or two." _

"_Two weeks is a long time…" _

"_If she gave me a written test about volleyball, I'd pass. The one she's going to give, where everyone has to serve, punt, spike… whatever it is people do; I'll fail that. So, no student left behind, right? Why penalize all of them for my inability to be around, well, anything athletic? It's not as though I won't learn the material." _

"_Mm," the Principal was amused same as me. _

_Bella had built herself a nice little case in the time it took me to get here. Quick thinking, I was proud of her. She wasn't trying to get away altogether, the test bit had been a nice addition. I could see her becoming a lawyer in Washington or, hell, why not a political career. Bella always had been pretty diplomatic. She spoke better than me at eleven, I was in my thirties. _

"_Think we can work something out?" I got the feeling that things were pretty much wrapped up. _

"_I believe so. You're excused back to class, Ms. Swan. I don't want to see you in here again this year." _

"_Thanks, and sorry for the trouble." She smiled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek as she walked out. _

_Bella knew how to be manipulative, too, but not in a cruel way. She watched people and the world around her carefully. Most often, she would take a route that did it's best never to offend. Rational, logical, a little crazy… but always with others interest at heart. Like Renee, and not in a negative way- Bells knew how to make her point and get what she wanted. _

"No," Bella bit her lip. "She said I was too young to work. It was silly to think that my paycheck would help because they needed thousands of dollars. I mean, she didn't say it like that… I paraphrased."

"Mmhmm."

"Anyway, she made it clear that my only job was to do well in school and keep studying. If I wanted to get into college, I could apply for a scholarship. They could give me free housing and pay for my books, that sort of thing. It made sense to me so, I don't know if you've heard… I'm doing really well."

I smiled at her. "Yeah, I heard. I'm real proud of you. Straight A's or damn near close, right?"

"Something like that," she agreed. "I applied to colleges, but I'm not sure if that's the route I'll be taking."

"Sure it is," I disagreed. "Someone smart as you, you'll go to an Ivy League school. They'll take you in a second."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she smiled at the couch.

"It's the truth. If you need help, I've got money saved. Between you, me, and financial aid… you'll go anywhere you damn want."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

The statement was sincere, but she didn't believe me right now. I'd find a way to get the money to her when she started getting acceptance letters. I knew how much competition there was for the Ivy Leagues. I befriended a Lieutenant in North Washington after we worked once on a case. I mentioned Bella and he happened to admit that his cousin worked for Yale's admissions department.

My new fishing buddy.

When I let Billy Black know, as a favor to Jake, he was more than happy to rearrange our cast off time. And hell, if Bells didn't want Yale, I'm sure there are strings to be pulled so that any college takes a look at her transcript first. I covered my bases.

"Hey, Dad?" She looked skittish as hell, I was uncomfortable.

"Yeah…"

"You know how… uh, I was thinking just now about what you said. When you implied that I wouldn't want to leave my current school, I… would. Not this year, obviously, it's almost done with. My senior year. I know you probably weren't expecting me to ask and I don't know how it'll work out. … but I'm good with cooking all sorts of meals, I clean and do laundry, too."

"Bella-"

"I never minded when you went fishing. The hours you work are fine, I can spend my time studying and getting to know people around town. I could get a job here or Port Angeles…"

"Bells! I have absolutely no problem with having you finish senior year in Forks. I don't care if you break all the dishes, turn the place upside down. You always have a home here, I figured you knew that."

"Always. It's just nice to get verbal confirmation," she smiled, still not looking directly at me.

"I'll talk to Renee about this once you're back and settled in."

"Oh," she sighed heavily. "Mom."

"What about her?"

"It was a crazy idea," she sighed and looked resigned to whatever conclusion she had reached in her head. "Never mind, she'll never let me leave. Senior year is _prom_."

"You don't want to go?" I could see through her fake smile and forced enthusiasm.

"Not especially. I get along with people in school, but I don't want to spend an entire evening with all of them. It'd be cool to just hang with some close friends, you know, that sort of thing. We could dress casually and be comfortable, I don't like the idea of being surrounded by four inches of lace."

"So tell your Mom that."

"Yeah, okay," she scoffed and switched subjects. "After senior year then, I can move here once high school's done with. No big deal."

"You'll be here by the time summer's out," I promised her, "if that's what you truly want. Take some time to think about it. There are six months before anything needs to be decided. Let me handle your mother."

"Okay," she changed the channel to a Christmas movie. "Even if it doesn't work out…. Thank you, and thanks for trying. I never blamed you for anything, you know. The divorce self-help book explained everything. Besides, we're good. We've always been pretty good with our Dad-Daughter relationship."

Uh, sure. So long as she didn't count the years of her childhood I hadn't been there for. Bella wouldn't have fought so hard if she didn't want to leave Phoenix. It really damn bothered me that she had listed all the ways she'd earn her keep. She had always been a neat kid, but this went a little overboard. Using my connections, I could have Phil picked up for something. My gut was telling me that a talk with him would be happening soon. I had been a cop for a long time. I knew all the tricks by now. While I wasn't sure if I could murder someone, I had all kinds of confiscated drugs that could make Phil a very uncomfortable guy.

Watching Bella take off back to Phoenix wasn't difficult. Carlisle had been concerned that when she left, I'd hit the bottle again. Nope. The house was in need of some repairs, I had noticed them when she was here. Any kid heading to college would need Internet and good cable. If she didn't make friends, I'd be sure there were entertaining things for her to watch.

I had Bella hand the phone to Renee after she called. She promised to let me know when she was back in Phoenix. I told her to call me from the home line rather than using her cell phone. It may have been paranoid of me, but I needed to know she was safe. Where the hell _was_ home to her?

"Hey, Charlie. Did you have a good Christmas?"

"Yeah, thanks. What's going on? Bella was protecting you, I know it. What's really going on out in Phoenix?"

"What exactly did she tell you?"

That confirmed everything. What else was there to tell? How long, and how many secrets had she been keeping?

"You moved out of the house and into an apartment? Bells told me that you wouldn't let her get a job. I agree with your decision."

This was going to be a fight. Much as I wanted to interrogate her into the ground, I needed her to be on my side. Nothing worked better than placating her.

"She was too young to worry about paychecks," I heard Renee sigh.

Ranting time, I had been subjected to many at the end of our marriage. It was fine by me, the longer she talked, the more I'd learn.

"We moved, yes. It's a two-bedroom apartment. Phil works during the day, I have two jobs. Did she tell you that part? The apartment _isn't_ infested with anything, we all have our space. Did she complain about that to you? What about the fact that we're quickly running out of money? I can't afford to send her to college or, damnit… we're fine, really. I'm over exaggerating because I'm tired."

"Sure."

"Things have just been a little tough lately. Phil's waiting on another promotion. If he gets it, I can quit my second job and focus more on the family."

"He's been close to that promotion for awhile now."

"What are you saying? Don't belittle Phil because-"

"I don't want to talk about him, that's not why I asked to speak with you."

"Fine," she took a deep breath. "So let's talk. Anything about me, you, or Bella."

"You said money's tight and that you're working two jobs. I've got a buddy I can call if you want a job with the police force down there. I wouldn't have you out in the field. Somewhere behind a desk, maybe you could draw sketches for them or something. Assuming you're making a little above what the state would usually pay, I can promise that the new job would double what you're making now."

There was a long pause. "I… don't think that would be appropriate."

"Just hear me out for a minute before you turn it down. This has nothing to do with you or me. If you had one job, you'd be able to focus on getting a house again. You'd have more time for your art."

"I miss that. It really would be nice…"

"I'll call tomorrow, you should hear from someone within the week. Don't let your new husband talk you out of it. The job is good for all of you. He can putter around for another five years while you support everyone."

"Charlie…"

"And while the two of you get back on your feet, Bella could come here for senior year."

"What?" There was another long pause. "I thought the police considered bribery a crime."

I wasn't a damn crooked cop. My father had been in the police force for most of his life. When I took over the trade, I got his contacts and made some of my own. The first thing a man did was take care of his family and ensure a good future for them. I did that, and though it had been years since I spoke with some of them, all I needed to do was pick up the phone.

"Bribery, my ass. You need help, Renee. If your parents aren't chipping in, you've got no one else to ask. I'm offering financial security for you and Phil. Bella's not happy there, I know you can see that. Do what's best for her."

"She needs me. I'm her mother. What did you think I would say? She can't start somewhere new this late! What are her transcripts going to look like?"

"They'll probably see that it got her out of a crappy public school and into a good solid one for her senior year. She knows people here, the change would be good."

"I'll have to talk with Bella about all of this. She might have changed her mind. You said she _wanted_ to move?"

"I told her to take time and make up her mind. I'm telling _you_, if Bells comes to live with me… you won't be responsible for any payments. I'd take care of her school supplies and anything else she'll need. That should help you financially, too. She would, of course, come visit anytime she'd like to. I'll pay for her plane tickets no matter how many times she wants to make the trip."

"So you have this all planned out, huh?"

"Of course. Whether she stays or goes is up to you and her. It's ultimately her decision, don't forget that. If she calls and asks me for help, I'll fight for her."

"The courts usually side with the mother, you know that. Do you have the funds to cover the court costs?"

"I know you don't. Once I show them my unbroken line of steady employment and some of the commendations I've received from some higher standing people; will there be much of a case? When we compare how she would live with me versus how she lives with you… who would win, Renee? All of those checks I sent you unordered to by the State of Washington or Arizona, they'll count for something. Do you really want to take me into court when there's one year before she'll be a legal adult?"

I hated taking this tone with her, but she left me no other choice. If I didn't cut through all of the tape now, she would try to back me into a corner. The guilt trip had worked once, I wasn't letting her get any defense together.

"I'll talk to her. You can't blame me if she decides not to move."

"I can if you force her hand."

"Would I do that?"

"Maybe."

I let that thought settle with her for a moment. There was enough guilt to go around, I didn't mind sharing some of mine.

"I'll call the guy tomorrow for you. I've gotta go, alright? Talk to Bells. Listen to her, Ren. Be her mother, not her friend."

It didn't surprise me when I heard from Bella the next day. She was calling from a payphone again, I plugged the number into my work computer to confirm it. After summarizing her conversation with Renee, Bells said that things were in her favor.

She had managed to spin the tale so that Renee didn't feel as though Bella was purposefully leaving. Using art, Bells said that Forks drew out her creative imagination. She wanted the freedom to experience new things and reconnect with me as her Dad. Since Renee left home so young, no matter what reason, Bells felt that she should be given the same opportunity. From the sound of things, she had everything under control. Renee had always treated Bella as a secret confidante. It had bothered me more as our daughter grew older. Yes, Ren had a child earlier than most, we were young parents. That didn't change our new responsibility, I was Bella's father and acted that way.

Things were a little blurred now that she had reached maturity. She called me Dad not Charlie, I didn't understand why Renee liked it better when Bella didn't refer to her as a parent. She made sure to contact me once a week with updates. I learned more about her neighborhood through the phone-line. Sometimes I couldn't hear anything, it depended on which payphone she used. More often than not I heard a lot of cursing. Some of it I know was directed at her, but she would continue our conversation and ignore it. I asked once why she never used her cell. She mumbled something about lacking minutes because the bill got lost.

I called Renee and had her send over Bella's share of the phone-bill. I'm pretty sure I ended up paying the whole thing. It didn't matter, Bella stopped calling me from on the street. I didn't have to hear wind and her voice muffled because she had covered the receiver to keep me from hearing whatever she tried to hide.

In the meantime, I hired people to take care of my house. They fixed up the lawn and repainted everything except for Bella's room. I wanted this to be a home for her. Having her choose how to redecorate would help with that, I hoped. The internet and cable took three days to install due to problems on their end. We got extra channels, a second box, and faster connection speed. No need to find anyone else, I had definite cable people now. There were a hell of a lot of sports channels.

I invited Carlisle and Esme over one night to watch a game. Renee had sent Bella's medical records over from Phoenix. She dropped something on the floor and knelt to retrieve it. That had been the first time I heard her curse. A very colorful one that I chose to overlook when I realized it was said due to pain. I had noticed white scars on Bells knuckles. She tripped going down the stairs. That was her explanation. I was willing to take her word, assuming the good doctors confirmed her story. Carlisle didn't have good news for me. He called me into his office again to discuss what they found.

Esme had pinned x-rays on the wall. They showed me things I knew about, three or four childhood mishaps that had been easily dealt with. There was new damage. She had broken her wrist once, there were old fractures to her ribs. Carlisle said there was strange shadowing around her shoulder bone and elbow that suggested the bone had been dislocated at some point. She had been hospitalized for injuries to her knee, minor bruises, and a mild concussion. What the ever-loving fuck? When had all of that happened?

I asked about her knee. Carlisle admitted that the wound was pretty recent. A lot of pressure had been applied to her kneecap, not enough to slide the bone out of place. It could have been caused by tripping down the stairs, but Carlisle admitted that it wasn't likely. That last bit of information didn't appease me. Where the hell had Renee moved them? How had all of this happened? Why hadn't I been made aware? If anything warrants a call, it's to know my daughter's in the hospital.

Whiskey was looking really good at the time. I stayed far away from anywhere that served alcohol. If I started drinking, I'd do something stupid like head to Phoenix. Once there, I would happily beat the crap out of Phil and take Bella out of there with me.

Esme made estimated guesses about who could have inflicted the damage. She gave me basic weight and height, and, much as it pissed me off, she told me how the injuries had been given. It didn't take long for all of us to form a conclusion. Bella was fighting. That was the only conclusion that made sense. The marks on her hands and the way she walked, hunched over as though expecting to be hit. Domestic abuse wasn't an issue. Renee was air-headed, but she would never allow her daughter to be hurt. Bella would have told me if Phil hit her, I was a goddamn cop. It was part of my job description to put bastards like that away.

I had so many questions. Why was she fighting people? Who were the people? Why the hell didn't Renee know? They weren't things I could ask over the phone. Esme cautioned me against bluntly introducing Bella to the subject.

She was going to be safe in Forks. I would watch over her and make sure no one posed any threat. I'd sleep with a damn shotgun next to me if need be. Carlisle said it might be better to let _her_ talk to me. I could keep an eye on her for the first few weeks she was in Forks. Any strange behavior and I'd call one of the Cullens.

Her last physical had gone well. Her blood was clean, neither Carlisle or Esme reported finding alcohol or drugs in her records. With the rate Bella visited the hospital, they would have caught _something_ if it were present. I wasn't worried about cocaine, heroin, or any drug for that matter. Bells had never habitually disappeared on me. I smelled cigarette smoke on her at the airport, but not again after that. She wore short-sleeved shirts and her eyes were nothing but alert and intelligent. Her color had been good despite all of the weight she lost. No, I wasn't worried about my daughter being hooked on drugs.

All of this investigating took months. I didn't want to keep encroaching on the Cullens time, they were busy enough as it was. With winter ending and poaching becoming a major issue, my days were pretty full. They tried to meet with me once a week, Alice dropped by once and awhile with pie from Esme. I didn't ever see much of Edward. There was never cause to bring him down to the station, I had no problem with the kid. Unlike others his age, he wasn't in and out of the Res all the time. We had caught so many kids leaving the Reservation with drugs and related paraphernalia. Speeding seemed to be his only vice, I approved.

From what I heard later from Carlisle, Edward was popular with the ladies. I had laughed then, boys being boys. Esme assured me that Edward had an honor system. Bella would be safe. I hadn't considered that. His reputation wasn't as amusing. With Alice running for School President, Edward helping at the hospital; I felt no need to background check. They were good kids, lucky, too.

I thought all was going to hell when Renee changed her mind toward the beginning of June. Bella called me and apologized for not being able to move. She said that Phil had been suspended for something and wasn't employed for the next two weeks. Since she was needed there, it was unlikely she would have time to pack.

Renee had gotten to her. I could hear the sadness in Bella's tone. It wasn't her choice to stay; what the hell did Phil's unemployment have to do with moving to Forks? After hanging up with Bells, I called Renee's cell for the first time. I had the number stored for awhile. When I wanted to speak with her, I called their landline. If Phil wanted to listen in, I'd give him something to hear. When it came to Ren's new husband, I didn't have many pleasant things to say. It was one thing to hold onto dreams, another entirely when trying was bringing your family down.

I was in no mood to tolerate her moodiness. I swore that if Bells wasn't on a plane by the end of June, I'd go down there and get her myself. There was no changing my mind. She brought up court again, but having seen her credit score and financial state… I definitely would have won. After the long heated conversation with Renee, Bella's trip was rescheduled for August. I could live with that. Bells should be able to spend the summer with her friends to say goodbye. I hadn't lied when I promised she could go back to visit. With her here, I hoped Renee would be able to put things back together. That way when Bella _did_ go back, she would have a nice place to stay.

I brought up a few questions in a roundabout way. Renee swore that Bella wasn't fighting. She was a little clumsy, didn't I remember? If Bella hadn't talked to her, she would confide in me. I had no real proof; I'd find the truth eventually. Renee worried a lot, more than an average person. I didn't want her to start demanding answers of Bella.

Summer passed pretty quickly. I bored Billy talking about renovations and Bella all the time. Carisle and Esme never seemed to mind. They had stories to share, too. It was nice being friends with parents. A lot of their advice was welcome. Most of the things they warned me against I'd never do. Why the hell would I look through Bella's diary? Girls, I remember hearing in high school, wrote about their secrets and dreams, who they fantasized about. All of their complaints were written down. I didn't want to know anything concerning my teenaged daughter's fantasies. Bells was old enough to buy her own… girl products. I wasn't even going to think about that. Esme told me that Bella could come to her, personally, if she had any questions regarding health issues. I thanked her. I had no problems with making sure she had space. There was plenty of it in and around the house.

Boxes started arriving in early August. The majority of them were small and filled with books. Only two large boxes of clothes were delivered. I called to ask if I should expect more, I'd have built her a bigger dresser. Nope, I was informed, that was it. Like hell.

I met her at the airport again, but this time was different from the last. Bella had three suitcases and a carryon duffel bag full of notebooks and regular books. It took two trips to get everything to the car. Even then, I worried that there wouldn't be enough room. The airport offered layover storage, but after a little rearranging, it wasn't necessary to take advantage of their service.

Bella left most of everything unpacked for the first few days. She asked if it'd be okay to repaint, exactly what I had figured. I was in the process of building the dresser anyway; she had more than I thought. We fell into a nice routine. I won't lie that it was nice to return home to a hot meal and wake up to breakfast.

She was really edgy during the first few days. I knew she wasn't sleeping well. It was summer; she could stay up late as she wanted. I saw her light on at two in the morning, she was up at seven. Judging from the dark circles under her eyes, she wasn't getting any rest.

After we pulled all of the furniture out of her old room and stripped it for painting, Bells seemed to relax a little. I didn't object to her color choices. Her style had gotten darker, I had noticed that over Christmas break also. Gone were the sweaters and t-shirts. Bells was in jeans and short skirts, I couldn't actually complain because most of what I saw was modest. Her makeup, on the other hand…

To each their own, yeah. Esme told me it was a way for her to express herself. I had seen Alice drop by wearing strange things over the years. Having once owned a leather jacket, I was content to let Bella be. I hoped that as she grew more comfortable with Fork's way of life her clothing would reflect that. I had come to accept her tattoos. There was one on my shoulder for the police department. So long as she didn't pierce anything on her face… I'd object if she wanted to _cover_ her body in ink… but Bella was a smart girl. She knew her career options were open and I trusted her not to risk the future because of body decoration.

With all of the posters she had pulled out of the boxes, I worried that the room would be done in dark colors like black or red. Nope, she chose a nice blue for the walls and darker blue for the molding. I could live with that. We had a pretty good time painting, she remembered what I had taught her. I used a roller, she followed with the brush and a cup of paint for the border and molding.

She slept for nearly fourteen hours the next day and I didn't wake her. Two weeks passed. She studied, cooked, went food shopping- I asked if she wanted to see a movie, and she showed me a Free Movie section in our cable's channel packages. Not exactly what I had in mind. Hell. Renee used to love being out on the town. She'd pick her outfit carefully and we would go and… socialize. We took a trip to D.C once because Ren desperately wanted to take the whole Washington tour. It wasn't difficult to take time from work, I had plenty of days saved up over the years.

Bella seemed more content lounging in the house or walking out in the forest behind our house. I wanted her to have fun and she was. Now, I didn't know much about behavior patterns and teenage girls. Judging by what Esme had told me, if Bella looked happy, she probably was. Carlisle admitted that there wasn't much guesswork when it came to what a woman was feeling. The doctor was much better with emotions and sensitivity, I sometimes wondered about him… He married Esme, the two of them seemed very happy. It was obvious to everyone that they were close friends in addition to other things. I only wondered because, once, I arrived at the hospital earlier than expected.

"_Carlisle, it matters. I remember seeing him. You've made such progress, I think it would be fine if you ask him about that night. If he doesn't want to answer, that's okay. Nothing changes either way." _

"_I'm not sure if he's ready…" _

"_Why not?" _

"_Maybe tomorrow," I heard Carlisle pause._

_"He loves you," Esme insisted. "You should tell him you feel the same way."_

_"_We _have." _

"_What?" _

"_It wasn't just me. You and I have been through a lot together. Our marriage works because it's a partnership. We've had our ups and downs. Overall, we, together, have gotten through a lot."_

"_And we'll continue for the next, say, ten years? We're good 'til then, right?" _

"_Feisty today," Carlisle laughed. "Go, run your scans." _

_Esme left the office and I quickly occupied myself with the coffee maker. It was none of my business what the couple talked about in private. I felt uncomfortable having overheard in the first place. _

I hadn't thought of the moment again until I saw a man of Carlisle's age waiting for him at the hospital. The guy wrapped him in a full-body hug… and Carlisle returned it. That was the last time I went in for consultations at his office. There were things that went on there, I didn't need to know about them. I did enough investigating, no need to work for free.

Having been busy with preparations for Bella, letting her adjust to the idea of taking senior year here, I hadn't seen the Cullens in over three weeks. Billy Black had sold me his old truck. Bells needed a way to get around, I know that she hates when I escort her places in my official Forks Police car.

Summer passed so quickly I barely registered it. There was an unusual flurry of action in the house. I watched her pack books into her bag, exchange them for different ones. There would be no room for anything if she kept adding stuff.

She washed all of the clothes that she owned, it seemed. She did my laundry, too, and ironed my shirts. So, to show my appreciation in a way that wouldn't embarrass her, I got her a new phone. Internet capable, unlimited minutes and messaging, she could download Apps… whatever. I asked the clerk which phone was the most durable and popular. That was the one I bought. I was still using the cell I'd bought four years ago, phones had really changed.

_Day of, I was more nervous than her. I had watched her go off to her first ever kindergarten class. This felt like that but… a lot worse. What if she didn't fit in? Would she make friends? How much would she need to catch up on? What if she had taken the classes already? Did she want me to pack her a lunch? _

_Why the hell had I been called in to work early? I was cooling my heels waiting for the annual review interview while she was on her way to school. Was she disappointed that I hadn't been there? I'd ask all of those questions later. There was nothing I could do about anything now. My phone rang around three-thirty in the afternoon. I recognized Alice's cell number immediately and wondered if she had called about Bella. Alice was nothing if not enthusiastic. Soon as I picked up, however, I could tell something was wrong. _

_It didn't help when the first thing I heard on the phone was, 'I need you to not freak out.' I jumped in the squad car and got there just in time to see all hell break lose. Through the hospital's glass doors, I saw Bella rush to one of the walls. She was pissed, obviously. Bella never liked hospitals. Now that I knew she was alive and standing, I eased down a little. I walked instead of ran, people tended to get twitchy when a cop runs into a hospital. They see the gun at my waist and my uniform. Everyone assumes there's something to panic about and I didn't want to disrupt things anymore than Bella had already. _

_Edward Cullen was here? Alice had explained that there had been a minor incident in school. Bella was caught in the crossfire having gotten Alice out of the way. She had a mild head wound and a gash on her thigh. The EMT's had taken her here, which was now, it seemed, where everyone was congregating. _

_My daughter and Edward shared a very intense look. I paused with one hand on the door handle. What exactly was going on? She had met him today, yet from the way they were staring at one another… she searched for reassurance and found it. Edward stood in front of her protectively. His head was tipped to the side and back to speak with her, but his eyes remained on the hospital staff. Whatever he said made Bella smile, Edward laughed. Years dropped from the boy's face. _

_I entered and the dispute cleared up real fast. Edward was escorting Bella to Carlisle's office. I saw a bloodied shirt lying on the stretcher. Carlisle stepped in at that moment before I started picturing all of the scenario's as to why it was there. _

"_She'll be fine, Charlie. Judging from what I've seen, she's not suffering any major injuries." _

"_Everything under control here?" _

"_Yes. That was an interesting display." _

"_Mm. What the hell was going on?" _

"_An accident at school-" _

"_I heard about that," I interrupted trying not to be impolite. "What did I walk in on? Looked like a hostage situation with the two of them in charge." _

"_Edward's a little… severe. I can assure you that his intentions were good despite the manner in which he presented them." _

"_One hell of a first day." _

"_I agree," Carlisle laughed quietly. "Want to go over the records with me? Bella should be waiting in my office by now." _

"_Insurance is up to date," I pressed the elevator's up button. "If there are any tests that need to be run, by all means. She won't miss much in school if you need to keep her here for observation." _

"_I don't think that will be necessary. Bella's history with hospitals notwithstanding, I think she'd recover much faster in an environment she finds comfortable." _

"_But you'll keep her here if it's needed?" _

"_Of course," he paused outside of his office. "Bella's records show that she was kept overnight at Deer Valley, a mental clinic. She wasn't diagnosed with anything, but one of the attendant's made a special note in her file. They specified that she not be restrained in any future altercations." _

"_What does that mean?" _

_Bells didn't have a problem with drugs or alcohol. She may be a loner, but I was positive she didn't suffer from any psychological disorders. Carlisle told me to watch for signs of depression, I had seen her laugh and smile. More so now than when she first arrived. _

_I looked into the Deer Valley institution and found that night to be one huge misunderstanding. Bella had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The woman Bells had been mistaken for, Isabel Swen, was a mentally disturbed and suicidal young girl. Both had brown hair and dark eyes, Bells had been involved with someone carrying cocaine. After blood tests, it was clear that Bella was clean. No cocaine or any other drug was in her system. They released her the following morning, Renee never found out or she would have sued. One big misunderstanding. _

"_Just that… if it seems she wants to go home with you, don't fight it too much. You have my word that if I find anything worth checking, I'll have her remain here for as long as it takes." _

"_Fine then," I agreed. "Where are they? They get lost?" _

"_I think Edward forgot about the elevators," Carlisle looked over a clipboard that had been left on his __desk. _

_True enough, only minutes later Edward entered the office… with Bella in his arms. She looked comfortable enough and smiled to herself when he whispered in her ear. After saying something about having him bring her flowers, I was pretty sure. Edward had just become one of my top priorities. After Carlisle offered his jacket, I realized that the shirt on Bella's stretcher had been his. One of Edward's tattoo's had drawn my attention, I knew what it meant. He had a gang symbol mixed in with a bunch of others on his shoulder. _

_Interesting. I didn't know what the rest meant, but that one was telling enough. _

Without alerting Carisle or Esme, I did a little investigating. It had taken the family awhile to reach where they were. I didn't want to go stirring things up for any of them. The information I was accessing had nothing to do with criminal prosecution, I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity.

Edward had quite the record. In and out of three county jail's for everything ranging from possession- the charge didn't stick- to arson, breaking and entering, attempted murder, fleeing a crime scene. He was never officially tried for any of those crimes. His defense attorney had done one great cover-up job. Edward was under probation until he turned twenty. Carlisle and Esme had become his official guardians and, therefore, took responsibility for him until said probation was lifted. The attorney had managed to strike a deal considering Edward had gone after kidnappers and a child prostitution ring, and he had succeeded in single-handedly bringing them to justice.

With intent to kill, his case must have been extremely difficult. The police report indicated that Edward had been carrying four knives at the time. A bag had been found with coils of rope and duct tape. One of the witnesses had seen a gun, but no such weapon ever turned up. Edward was found on the scene with Alice and three other female minors. A fire had started in the basement, but officials got to the scene quickly enough to save most of the house. The couple, Victor and Laura, had returned home and stepped right into the trap. Edward broke free of the officer questioning him and broke Vic's arm, leg, and three ribs before they managed to get them separated.

One huge shit-storm for whomever was assigned to the case. They weren't known enough for there to be any real news coverage. Things like that tended to be kept quiet, I couldn't blame them. Riots would break out, kids would stop attending school which would cause budgeting… a nightmare for anyone involved.

Edward had taken the law into his own hands and ended up cutting even. He was paying the consequences, but Alice was safe and they had found a home. As a cop, the things Edward had done made him a very dangerous person. As a father, I knew that when it came to my daughter, I would do anything to keep her safe. Anything. Even if I could understand his motive, I couldn't justify what he had done. Attempted murder was a serious charge and he was very lucky to have escaped being imprisoned. Now he had shown an interest in my daughter. She seemed to be curious about him, too. Damnit all to hell.

I was going to talk to her about him, a more detailed version than my first attempt. She assured me that Edward was just a friend. I saw nothing in her expression to contradict what she was saying. Bells had never been able to lie well.

A day or two passed. Alice's arrival interrupted any thought of having a Dad-Daughter talk. Watching them interact together on the couch, I saw Bella smile more than once. She looked downright excited when Alice mentioned a sleepover. A girls night. Bells was making friends and going out of her way to keep the friendship going. That was more than I had seen her do, ever. The only other person I could think to call her friend was Jacob.

When we spoke in the kitchen I saw her shut down again. She seemed wary and nervous of my reaction, a ghost of the Bella I had seen right off the plane from Phoenix. Now that she was relaxing and socializing, I had no problem with whatever she wanted to do. Any doubts I held were banished when Alice ran off an impromptu itinerary of their night.

With Esme around, no one would get into any trouble. All of the things I read in Edward's file aside, I had never received any complaints about the Cullens. I would have never guessed the boy had a criminal record. Carlisle and Esme were incredible parents, their problems not factoring into the raising of Edward and Alice. I respected them for that. Kids always came first.

I kept a close eye on Bells after that. She seemed happier than ever before even going so far as to hug me and kiss me on the cheek. After dinner she would do her homework next to me on the couch rather than barricaded in her bedroom. She was helping plan dances, I liked that she was showing an interest in school activities. That she actually _went_ to the dance astounded me. Never had I thought to see the day. She looked absolutely beautiful. In a white dress, she was radiant and so… happy. I had seen her hug Alice numerous times and the two seemed close despite the short amount of time that had passed.

Whenever I heard talk of their plans, they always seemed to hang out in one large group. That was fine by me. I had already started to think of Alice as family. When she started dating Jasper, I took another look into the old records. Nothing too bad in Jasper Hale's past. A few bar-fights that ended peacefully, all of what I found resolved itself the same day without any trips downtown needed.

Edward tried to ask for my permission to date Bella. I took one look at him and sent him home. He had looked unsure, as though he hadn't made up his mind yet. Seeing Bella, I knew she was head over heels for the guy. If he couldn't decide whether or not to pursue her, he needed time to get his head on straight. Rushing into a relationship wasn't exactly promising for their future. I had learned that lesson and then some.

Not to mention, he was absolutely covered in tattoos. He had piercings of all kinds; why would he do all of that to himself? Steel through his eyebrow, tongue, more than one in his mouth… goddamnit, all of that was necessary, why? Both of his ears were pierced multiple times and, to me, that was just queer. Bella had three tattoos that I knew of, only two of them were visible. It was perfectly acceptable for _her_ to wear earrings and jewelry, I was downright uncomfortable on the days that Edward had more… accessories, as Bells put it, than she was wearing.

If she started spending time with Edward Cullen; what was next? I knew, and Bells confirmed that she smoked. Once upon a time I had done that and more, I was disappointed that she had fallen into the peer pressure trap, but it was her decision. She didn't try to lie about it, which would have led to entirely different consequences. We came to an agreement and I'd stick to my side so long as she tried to cut back.

She wasn't, however, going to get any upstanding job with piercings all over her face. If she ever wanted kids… I had seen guys like Edward down in D.C. Ren and I had walked into a bar, I wanted a beer. It wasn't any normal bar, I was actually propositioned once before Renee told me it wasn't really a gay men's club. All of them were dressed as Edward did. Black leather, piercings… this was the guy my daughter wanted to date? She had always been… original.

Edward confirmed my theory when he showed up advocating homosexuality. I have nothing against gay men, but I wanted Bella to have a real marriage one day if that's the path she chose to walk. Carlisle got me to voice my concerns. I tried to do it in a roundabout way, no actual names except for Bella's. He suggested that Edward might be bisexual. Hm. So Edward liked the guys _and_ the girls? Carlisle then told me that he thought Edward might have feelings for Bella. That was a bit of a dilemma. We had a bit of a conversation about what that would mean for the two of them.

Edward, Carlisle said, wasn't huge on commitment or long-term anything. He had major trust issues stemming from severe abuse and abandonment in his past. I told him about my file-searching. It was the right thing to do, I hadn't planned on keeping it a secret forever. The only thing he asked was that I not hold all of Edward's past against him. Bella helped him accept things and grow as a person, and I could say the same of Edward when it came to her. I had seen the changes, small as they were. Bells woke with a smile and danced around the kitchen while cooking. She got her homework done early and was usually in her room by eleven at night.

On weekends she'd stay up much later, but I had yet to see her sleep past noon. She was going out, driving around. Jasper, Alice, and Edward had spent a day walking around a safe area of the forest. The day I went to speak with Edward had been decided impulsively. School was about to be let out and I was patrolling the area. Soon as I got into their eye-range, Edward tensed visibly and didn't let me out of his sight.

He looked at the cop car derisively. Jasper and Alice seemed oblivious to my approach. They were deep in debate over something. Bella paused, but resumed talking to them after confirming that it was me. She had started flushing already. There would be hell to pay later.

I opened the passenger side door, Edward had been in the back-seat of too many. Still no fear, he calmly waited for me to speak. He met my gaze and I hadn't seen his eyes flick to the side indicating a lie. Edward was serious this time and I'd treat him like a man instead of a boy. He deserved that much, it took a great deal of character to have been through all he had and emerge on the good side.

It was toward the middle of our conversation when I saw the first real spark of… anything from him. He had been extremely respectful, it surprised the hell outta me when he called me 'Chief.' The effort was there, but I needed to see… something. Then he started listing minute details of Bella's everyday life and I knew.

Edward confirmed that if their relationship ended, Bella would be doing the leaving… I gave my consent. He meant every word and I knew he would protect Bella better than most. Bells, to my knowledge, had never been in a relationship. I needed to be sure that Edward understood that and wouldn't push her into anything she wasn't ready for. He'd stare down the barrel of my shotgun if that were ever the case.

I watched for a moment as he left the squad car. Bells erupted into a flurry of yelling and gesturing while glaring at me. Edward regained her attention and made her laugh. I had never seen her calm down so quickly after one of her rants. He went to kiss her cheek and she pushed him away, I drove away at that point.

Bells and I had dinner and talked things over. We agreed that nothing had to change, but I was absolutely serious when I told her I'd step in if things spiraled out of control. They should have been friends for far longer, yet I tried to keep quiet considering I married Renee early. Neither of them would make the same mistake. Edward had a solid life-plan and once Bells decided what she wanted to do, she would succeed at it.

We spoke about sex briefly, but she didn't seem that upset by waiting. In fact, she seemed more concerned that I wanted her to censor some of her clothing. Most of my worry disappeared, she was still young. There was plenty of time for… curiosity… much later in life. She had all the time in the world. It's not as though I didn't expect her to date. With Carlisle and Esme keeping an eye on everyone, I figured we had things under control. When a rabid bear attacked three people, I knew Bella would be safe at the Cullen house. And when all of that cleared up, I invited Edward to dinner. There wasn't much preparation needed, Bells had said she was picking up food to cook. I was working until five in the afternoon, anyway. When I got home I smelled steak cooking, I understood the message.

Dinner wasn't supposed to be about interrogating, I really just wanted to see how the two of them interacted. Cordially, I noticed. He held out her chair when we sat, waited until she started eating until he began. I was surprised that Bells let him take care of the dishes. Esme had sent over a pie, blueberry, and I let Edward serve pieces for everyone.

They talked about school and a project they had for Spanish class. I listened and commented when was necessary, nothing felt awkward. Edward even seemed to relax a little especially when we moved from the kitchen into the den. He and I talked briefly about hockey and were partway through a game when Bella's phone rang.

She picked up almost immediately. "Jake? What's going on?"

Edward's head snapped up and though he tried to clear his expression, I saw that he wasn't entirely pleased. He glanced over at me and then kept his gaze fixated on the television screen.

"Nothing much, hanging with my Dad and... a friend." ... "Can't, I told you. I'm spending time with Dad. What about tomorrow after school? You up to anything then?" Bells sat down on the couch in between me and Edward. She laced one of her hands through his and rested it on her knee. He quirked his eyebrow but still didn't look away from the T.V.

"Okay… well-"

"Don't stay on my account," I decided to speak up. "If you guys have plans, go ahead."

"Yeah, that was Charlie…," Bells said hesitantly.

"We didn't have plans with Jacob Black," Edward replied.

"Yeah, tonight was all about you, Dad," Bells cupped her hand around the receiver.

"Naw, get outta here. I'm ready to turn in, as it is. Dinner was great and thank you for it."

"I'm sure we could reschedule-"  
"Sure, okay. See you in an hour?"

The two of them spoke at the same time. Bells hung up and passed the tray of chips over to me.

"I'm going to change, I'll be right down."

She was changing, eh? I had often wondered how close Jake and Bells had become. She always insisted they were friends, but seeing that Edward didn't like the guy… I had to wonder why. Maybe he was concerned that Bells might have feelings for Jake. Since they were waiting for certain _things_, yeah, I could see why he'd be jumpy.

"Tired, huh?" Edward asked.

"I've been up since four this morning," I answered him honestly.

"You're friends with Billy Black, right?"

"Yup."

"Yeah," he grinned wryly.

Bella was back and in record time. She had on a thick winter coat and sturdy looking shoes. Wearing a scarf around her neck, she looked real nice.

"Sure you don't mind?"

"Nope," I smiled when she hugged me. "Told you, I'm going to make it an early night. I'd expect you to be back at midnight. Do I need to wait up for you?"

"Not at all," she rolled her eyes. "You'll hear when I get back."

"Yeah I will."

"Thanks for the invite, Chief," Edward raised his eyebrow at me over Bella's head.

"Love you. I'll be home soon, don't worry too much."

"Drive safe. Have fun," I waved as the door closed behind them.

I tried to wait until I heard Edward's car engine start to laugh. They'd be bored sitting around all night, right? Bells shouldn't be kept from one of her friends to watch hockey. The game wouldn't end until past midnight. I picked up the phone to call Carlisle and Esme, maybe they'd want to kick back with a beer.

**Authors End Note:**  
I think I've addressed everything. There were some questions that only Bella can answer, I'll get to that soon! Charlie was so difficult to write. It was relieving, sort of, to have Edward, Bella, or Carlisle speak. I figured Charlie was very much a police chief. Straight and to the point, the end result matters much more to him than all of the details leading there. That I'm thankful for because there were hundred's of conversations that I didn't have to write. Yeesh, spanning thirty chapters and nineteen years before the story started- that would have been insane and potentially boring.  
Dinner we'll get from someone else's POV. I think it would be better to hear from Edward, there are more emotions from him in that strange situation than from a calm-relaxed-Dad…  
Charlie may make another appearance, I'm sure I've forgotten some things. I'll reread in a few days and try to cover any disjointed places, maybe add more detail where its needed. Anyway, enjoy!

**Authors End Note 2:  
Astha Cullen-**  
I enjoy writing them when they're not angsty. I really like when they're possessive, too. ^_^. I was actually going to write dinner from Charlie's POV, but this chapter was so long already… besides, I really do think it'd be better to hear from Edward. He's the outsider in that situation, haha.

**San4jon, acw1, bookfreaklover, bundysarah, Hotrodzrock, 1dreamkeeper, LadyTx, Tina062093, Drkvctry, LOVE IS A GIFT, angel04une- **  
All of your reviews make me happy. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave one! Anyone who twitters or who have posted a link on their site for this story… thank you so very much, too!

**Minnakoda-**  
Thanks for reviewing and letting me know where you found the link!  
Definitely interested, thanks very much for the additional information. I'm happy you're liking the characters. I used to update so much more frequently. Anyone notice how summer, which is supposed to be when everyone relaxes, is when everything gets much busier?

**Parkesy23-**  
Thank you for the review! So glad you liked the chapter!

**VAVikingGirl-**  
Still angsty, really? Hmm. So long as it's not in a bad way… heh. I liked your last paragraph a lot, thanks for that!

**Willistongirl-**  
Wow, you read it twice? Thanks so much for the review! ^_^

**DreamyDane-**  
Yeah, I'm not sure where the switch-point was. Chapter started off pretty short and now they're 10k+. I'm happy no one's complained, but it also means that updating takes longer. Fair trade, I hope. =P

**Astevens-**  
Thank you! I'm excited that you like the Playlist! I love music and it's always nice to 'meet' other people with similar preferences.

**Heavyinfinity-**  
The 'Edward Whisperer,' hahaha. Awesome.

**Tghb-  
**Anytime! I enjoyed writing Carlisle a lot more than I thought. For awhile I was afraid it would be one of those abandoned chapters. Naw, I should have known better. I rarely scrap anything, heh, it's always useful at some point. I'm glad you gave me feedback on the inheritance issue. Really, really wasn't sure about that. Good to know it's probable, thank you!  
I try to show that- thank you first of all. ^_^- I try to keep things as realistic as possible. When Edward speaks, I try to make him sound different from Bella, etc. They are pretty damaged people, which automatically brings on the tragic and unpleasant. I don't want them dredging around all the time, though. That'd get old pretty fast, y'know?

**Cullen Concession-**  
Thanks for all of the reviews! I'm glad you liked the Rob Thomas song in relation to the story. =)

**Ghlover8907-**  
Hahaha, thanks very much!

**Karen4honor-**  
=D, I love your reviews! And no problem! A small lemon was Way overdue. I've never kicked a puppy either, =P! Good to know, though. You're a person of upstanding moral character, haha. Glad you agree with my theory on Mike!

**Bhekie-**  
Thanks! Happy to hear you liked the school scene!

**Christykq-**  
Thank you! I wanted them to stay for dinner, but I'm sure Edward would have attacked Mike at some point. The comments Mike makes aren't the wisest…  
I'll have to go back and look at that chapter- where you said it was confusing. Maybe I didn't write a good enough lead-in. Hmm, thanks for bringing that to my attention!

**Thinkingofyou19-**  
One of my real-life friends- I bounce ideas off him. He mentioned that, perhaps, it would be a little cliché to do the whole 'laced pot' thing. So I tried to change it around so that it wasn't so… I don't know. Heh. Hopefully the end result was surprising and dealt with in an interesting way. Thanks for your review, I'm happy you're liking the story so much!

**Cat5050-**  
Edward and Bella thank you profusely, =P. You'll hear more from Edward next chapter and, I hope at least, Jessica and Lauren have been dealt with for now. They might come back later, but they're going to have enough going on without them causing more trouble.  
Yes, I plan on bringing Mike back, too. Not sure how or when, but I still have questions about his character, too. There are a lot of small plot-lines that need to be concluded. I'll get to them all eventually- it means that there's more to work with, =D.

**WookieMonster-**  
Mm, dinner is going to be fun writing times. Light-hearted again, at least that's how I feel that scene should go. Thanks!

**Dazzleglo-**  
Agreed! I'm doing my best to keep Edward from getting in trouble with the law. No one's really making that easy, haha. Between the concealed drugs and gang fighting… yeah. Still fun to write though. Challenging, =).  
Yay! An Alice comment! Thanks for that. I worry that I'm leaving her behind. I'll try to rectify that next Bella chapter.

**LadyChery-**  
Thanks very much! Wow, your review was just… amazing. Thank you! It's really satisfying… is that the right word- to know that so many people have accepted my play on Edward and Bella. That they're still likeable despite their pasts, etc, it means a lot to me. =)

**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
Hahaha, yepyep. Continuing next chapter, promise!  
I want to see more fighting, too. Definitely after the next few chapters, not sure if I can fit it in right away. I'm not sure how the whole Res trip is going to resolve itself.  
And yeah, I've noticed that, too. Bella has a lot more self-restraint than Edward. Thanks for that, I'll try and bring that up next chapter between them. =D

**Jansails-**  
Wow. Thank you for reviewing! I'm so glad to hear that you like this story so much! Thanks very, very much for all of the wonderful things you wrote. Hope to hear from you again sometime in the future!

**Edward's Eternal-**  
Thanks! I try for more progression with every chapter, y'know? I want something to have been accomplished- no wasted chapters, heh. Fighting, lemons- all of that after dinner and the Res. ^_^

**Fliberty-**  
I'm glad they didn't get caught, too. That'd be awkward and I'm not sure how I'd write their way out of it. =P. I really, really like that Bella has space at Edward's house. It's one factor in relationships that really helps to cement things together. Edward's pretty territorial and, from the beginning, he didn't seem to have any problems sharing things with her. Makes me happy for him despite all of the confusion it brought him. Good for personal growth, haha.  
I loved writing that scene- where Edward pretends to vampire bite Bella to freak them out. I'm glad you liked it too!

**Amethrice-**  
Yay for Alice again! I'm really happy you found 'Emergency' to be review-worthy! That was a difficult chapter to write because there was so much misery in their past, I didn't want to drag everyone down to that terrifying place. I tried to keep it optimistic, Alice was a huge help with that. Thank you for reviewing!

**Midgie-**  
First, thanks for taking the time to really write what you feel. I understand what you mean; when I review, I leave in-depth comments, too.  
I don't know if it's rage or disgust- maybe a mix of both- but a lot of people commented on Chapter 10! There's a Lot of Tanya hatred, haha. Good to know now!  
Don't hate Edward too much until you read the next chapter! Thank you for all of the amazing things you wrote. I hope to hear from you again after you've read how that all settles!

**TwiSagaLover-**  
Haha, wow. Thanks! No problem about lack of prior reviews, it's nice to read your review now. =D.

**Ionuin Anam Cara-**  
You're fantastic. ^_^  
You answered so many questions I had about this story. Thanks so very much! I worry sometimes that Edward's mellowing too much, I like him edgy and… dark in a good way. I don't want him hand-holding and mush-talking all the time. Bella, too, because I haven't written very much to her backstory and I don't want her to 'fade' before it begins.  
The 'I love you' was strange for me to write because with characters like 'Edward' and 'Bella' those three words aren't really in their vocabulary. Bella's maybe, but only for those who are blood-related to her. Glad to know that it _worked_ and was believable. Thank you again.  
I definitely plan for Jacob and his 'gang' to appear more in the story. You're right, there's a lot I didn't explain there. At least Charlie mentioned Jake briefly. I didn't want it to seem like I'd forgotten about Bella's old friend. He was part of her past and much as I want Jacob to be in the background, not sure if it'll stay that way. He's a huge character and I try not to let personal preference interfere with the story. =)Mike, Jess, Lauren- I never hated them in Stephanie Myers' world, I'm not sure why they're such instigators in THB.  
Thank you a billion times I.A.C. =D

**Kitasky123-**  
I remember those days. Pressing Alt-Tab to a new page whenever my little sister was around. I wish your Pops a happy belated 60th birthday! Glad you had fun!

**Maplestyle-**  
Thanks for letting me know where you found this story! You're amazing for having read the entire thing in two days. Very cool.

**Quick last note-**  
Again, thanks to everyone who has reviewed and added me to their Author Alert/Story Alerts. It really means a lot to me that people Twitter about this story or advertise on sites for me! Thanks so much and a new chapter will be updated soon!


	32. Position Of Power

**Chapter 32  
- Position of Power  
**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:**  
http:/media(dot)photobucket(dot)com/image/Rob%20Pattinson-%20Kristen%20Stewart/twilightgirl-1/robert-pattinson-kristen-stewart-va(dot)jpg  
- Because this picture is gorgeous, and I'm sure you all have seen it a billion times… but… fuck it. Gorgeous.  
**Bella's Boots:**  
http:/www(dot)costumeshoes(dot)?main_page=popup_image&pID=851&zenid=

**Playlist**  
http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**I Want You- **Fefe Dobson  
**Run This Town- **Jay-Z (You'll know why and when it comes into play)  
**Position of Power- **50 Cent  
**Hard- **Rhiana

**Bella's Point of View**

"So? What did you think? Not bad all in all, right?"

Edward didn't respond right away. He started the Volvo, handed me the Ipod, and eased slowly away from the house. I knew he wasn't annoyed and that's all that mattered to me. He probably needed a minute to process things, I didn't blame him.

It had been really strange seeing him puttering around in my kitchen. He asked for pot-holders, of all things. I didn't understand why he couldn't just sit and eat popcorn while watching television. It's not that I wasn't grateful for the help. I trusted him, he obviously knew his way around a kitchen… but I was used to doing things on my own.

Cooking had always fallen to me. Renee made breakfast and dinner for me, once upon a time. When she realized I had an interest in the culinary arts, she assumed I wanted to take over. Phil would rather order pizza or Chinese food instead of making a damn sandwich for himself. Renee used to be angry with me for not making him meals, but when I came home and he had already ordered food… what was I supposed to do? Charlie had been comfortable with going to the diner, though he did know how to make a few things.

When Edward went out back to grill the hamburgers, I busied myself with preparing salads. It didn't take long for the food to cook, and he came back intermittently to grab some more popcorn and talk with me. It was really… comfortable. Domestic little me. What the fuck. And what was freaking me out even more was the fact that I'd be happy cooking dinner for Edward were we to ever sit down together, alone. Holding the wooden spoon out for him to see if I'd used too much salt, kissing him against the counters; he fit in so well…

It wasn't just the kitchen or my bedroom. I liked knowing he was around. For me, who had been a loner most of her life, I didn't know how we spent so much time together without exhausting one another. I wondered sometimes why he didn't get bored with me. We really did spend an excessive amount of time together.

Even when I _was_ alone, chances were I'd see something that reminded me of him. Next thing I knew, my phone was in my hand and I was texting him. I usually got a response back right away. It wasn't one-sided, sometimes I got messages with partial song lyrics or a title that I looked up and listened to. I heard songs, too, and texted him with the name because they made me think of him. Pathetic. I did it anyway because Edward never complained, sometimes I even got critiques that were three or four messages long.

Once Charlie walked in, however, Edward morphed into someone else entirely. He was polite, but not uncomfortably so. Every time he looked at me I got the sense that he was silently asking me something. I didn't know what answer to give him. He was nervous and that made _me_ nervous. I had never seen him be so unsure of himself. If I didn't know him so well… Charlie certainly didn't notice anything. When Edward pulled my chair out for me, I was used to that from having dinner at his house. He put the napkin onto his lap and glanced over at me. It wasn't until I took a bite, feeling incredibly self-conscious as his eyes kept coming back to me, that he started eating.

I had been about ready to grab him by the shirt collar in order to drag him outside. If I had a dollar for each time I thought 'What does he want me to _do_,' I'd be about four hundred dollars richer. Such an unsettling feeling. Hearing him speak without cursing once throughout the entire evening had been really weird, too.

It was most stressful for me when conversation lagged. Charlie, Edward, and I weren't the most talkative of people. There were a few awkward smiles exchanged while passing salad, head nods while the person pretended to be unable to speak due to having a mouthful of food. I had to turn the television on to keep from losing my mind.

Edward nearly fell over himself to clear the table. I let him only because there had been a split-second flash of panic in his gray-blue eyes. I had seen him laugh after being beaten bloody, being alone with me and Charlie made him panic? Being a good hostess meant more than making sure everyone had their drinks refilled. Edward was our guest, he shouldn't have been washing the damn dishes. If I had been the one to do it, that'd mean that Edward and Charlie would be left alone.

I knew Dad just wanted to return the favor. He was right, I did eat at the Cullen's a lot. Would that stop him from questioning Edward? I didn't know. Best to act as a buffer for the two of them, I knew Edward appreciated it.

There had been so many things to worry about. Charlie didn't seem to think there were any problems. Sure, Edward came over to dinner every night. My boyfriend had sat down to dinner with me and my Dad. I'm not sure how I felt about that. Happy? Grateful that nothing too mortifying had happened? My Dad's sense of humor was completely whacked. If he pulled out photo albums I'd have run to his bedroom to find one of his shotguns.

"Yeah, it went really well. Your Dad amuses me. I can relate to his humor."

"Oh?"

"The whole Res trip? I might have done the same thing if I were in his position."

"I wouldn't have."

Dad and I were going to be talking later. I know he knew Edward was uncomfortable with the idea. He had protested in different ways at least three times. Charlie easily evaded and Edward was too polite to fully disagree. That was another awkward moment for me. When had Edward ever held back what he truly thought? Mike Newton would agree with me.

"Fuck _yes_," he took the cigarette I offered him and inhaled deeply. For the first time in over three hours, I saw him relax completely. He took two more long drags and groaned low in his throat.

"Where are we going?"

"I want to stop at my house real quick. I'm not going to the Res dressed like this."

"Yeah… about that…"

"Do you not want to go?"

I couldn't read his expression. He said it was fine, but I knew better than that. Once I said Jacob's name, I felt Edward tense up. His eyes bled to deep gray as he had stared fixedly at the television screen.

"Do _you_ not want to go?"

"I don't care," he half-grinned. "Pick, babe. I'm leaving this decision entirely up to you."

"Um… he and I _were_ friends, sort-of. It was a long time ago, though."

"Friends," he snorted. "Jake thinks I'm your _friend_."

"You heard that, huh?"

"Among other things," he glanced over at me. "I wasn't eavesdropping or anything- ok, that's exactly what I was doing. Sorry."

"I wasn't hiding anything from you."

That would have been strange if I hadn't accepted it already. Normally, when I had conversations with people, I went into a different room or tried to protect the other person's privacy. With Edward, that wasn't necessary. He knew everything, anyway.

"We really don't have to do this. There are plenty of other things we can do instead of going to hang on the Res tonight. If we're heading to your house, anyway, we could just stay…"

"Did you tell Jacob we were going to be there?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok," he shrugged. "Definitely need to change."

"I'm not exactly dressed to have your back, you know? I didn't plan on going there to pick a fight."

That was my biggest worry. Edward was a very self-controlled person. …unless he perceived someone as a threat. Earlier, in the grocery store, I thought he was going to take down the security person. I read the guy quickly and adapted a bubble-headed persona. That tended to work best when it came to authority figures, they didn't know how to deal with it.

He and Jake didn't exactly see eye to eye. Picking a fight on their territory-

"He's got us outnumbered, anyway," Edward continued my thought aloud. "It would be on him if something happens to us while we're there."

"You're not going to pick a fight with someone to get Jake in trouble, are you?"

"… no. Why would I do that?"

"Because you're devious that way and there's no risk to us."

I could literally see the thoughts forming as he half-smiled while watching the road. It was fun watching him drive. He rested his left arm on the window ledge and held a cigarette loosely between his fingers.

"That _is _a good point."

"Yeah, until they do something back to us," I hastened to add. "Jake just wants to hang out and smoke up."

"We're not smoking with him, are we?"

"I thought that was the point of this little excursion."

"Uh… _you_ can smoke with him. I prefer to have full control over my mental faculties, thank you very much."

"Ok."

We were back at his house, anyway. He made sense, I wasn't sure how far I'd trust Jake to begin with. Sure, the whole parking lot fiasco had ended well. Considering Billy Black and Charlie were friends, if Jake had wanted to see me, all he had to do was pick up the phone. Charlie's landline hadn't changed since Renee and I moved.

"Am I waiting in the car again?"

"Only if you want to." He extinguished his cigarette on top of a soda can resting in his cup holder. When he glanced over at me, shadows fell across his face. I never got tired of seeing his eyes change color, I loved being the cause.

"How quick are you going to be?"

"Just gotta change my shirt and pants. Oh wait," he paused. "I should have done that at your house. How many do you have of mine now?"

"Go," I laughed. "I'll wait here. Leave your Ipod?"

"Sure thing," he grinned. "Be right back, alright?"

I flipped through several songs, he had such good fucking music. It was difficult to pick just one, I kept seeing things I hadn't heard in years. Some titles were really interesting and I would eventually need to download a program so Edward and I could exchange music.

Letting my mind wander while the bass made his car vibrate, I really didn't know what to think. Edward wasn't exactly a traditional guy. He was trying to be, which I wasn't sure what to think of. I didn't want him changing for me, I knew that much. Edward seemed to think he wasn't good enough for me as he was. We would have to talk about that, too, but I knew it would be a futile conversation.

No matter what we did with our time, we always managed to have some sort of fun. I knew he wasn't keen on visiting the Res, but he was going because I wanted to go. There were things the three of us needed to talk about. Loose ends needed to be tied. Jake and Edward would reconcile, at least I hoped so. I had been buffer for most of my life- either between Charlie and Renee, Phil and Renee, between addicts and drugs, so on and so forth. It was a role I was good at and I was more than convinced that we could all come to some sort of understanding.

Edward was so attuned to me. Whenever I moved or spoke, his attention was immediately on me. It was strange having someone care so much. I felt the same way about him, though. Whenever I tried to contemplate what exactly that meant, I felt as though I were drowning. Happily drowning, and that really made no fucking sense to me. How was it possible to feel so fucking _much_ for one person? Sometimes I would look over at him and wonder how the hell he was mine. There was nothing Edward couldn't do if he put his mind to it. He could go anywhere, be anything, have anyone… and yet he was here in Forks with me doing things he didn't want to do.

I watched Edward make his way back to the Volvo. Dressed in all-black Tripp pants, I knew he wasn't fucking around. I had seen so many variations of that style, some of them were bordered with neon blue and green, red, orange, but I had to admit… he looked really fucking good. Always.

My pulse picked up speed and I entertained a short mental image of him on top of me, moving surely and intensely… fuck, it had been such a goddamn long time. Earlier, at the supermarket, I hadn't needed any foreplay. Just the thought of finally getting what I wanted was enough to make me wet. I was beginning to know the signs, Edward didn't ever want me to be uncomfortable in any way.

I had been pretty sure that he planned on going down on me until I got off at least twice. The blow-job I had given him in the morning combined with the one from in the car… Edward had felt he owed me. I didn't offer because I wanted him to feel indebted. I enjoyed giving him pleasure, it made me happy to see him shudder in release. When he opened his emerald eyes languidly and looked down at me, I'd be content to do nothing else all day provided he look at me that way.

He was wearing a plain black t-shirt, but it was tighter than the ones he normally wore. As he opened the door and slid in, I saw a flash of pale skin as his shirt raised. Silver chains fell from the large pockets at his calves, more chains crisscrossed in the back of his pants. They clunked against the seatbelt, jingled as he closed the door behind him.

Now that I thought about it; why did we fight in these? Sure, the chains were useful and could be removed as weapons, but if an opponent grabbed hold of them? Then again, neither of us were rookies. I'd have to suggest he try out leather pants, see what his take on that would be.

"Esme was pissed I left you in the car," he laughed. "You'll have to explain later that I didn't tell you to stay."

"No problem," I grinned. "I like your Mom."

"Yeah, she likes you too."

For all of the hang-ups we'd had toward the beginning of our relationship, it still felt too easy. Edward's parents had liked me almost right away, Alice had become a friend my first day of school. Charlie got along with Edward for the most part; was it supposed to be this simple? Wasn't the whole 'meet my parents' thing supposed to be harrowing and stressful?

"Need anything before we get to the Res?"

"Nope… do you?"

"No," he sighed. "You have a knife on you?"

"Of course."

"I left my gun," he glanced over at me. "I' really don't want to shoot anyone, you know."

"Good," I grinned. "I don't want you to shoot anyone, either."

The drive was quiet for the most part. I kept one hand on Edward's arm as he drove, and we smoked two cigarettes in the time it took to get there.

There had been very few times I'd actually been to the Res. Jake would come and spend half a day at my house. Aside from watching movies or walking in the woods, we didn't do much else together. At any rate, I never expected to see… this.

"Hey," I had called Jake for directions. "We're just getting here. Where d'you want to meet up?"

"Follow the road straight, you'll see the place soon enough."

We passed a few houses, the terrain evened out as the dirt path curled to the right. I relayed the information to Edward and he nodded. Sure enough, he stopped in front of what looked like a clubhouse of some sort. He raised an eyebrow at me and I could only shrug in return.

I decided to leave my jacket in the car. Stripping out of my t-shirt, I wore a black corset underneath. It went well with my black skirt and skull heels. I had wanted shoes that would be easy to move in, which ruled out quite a few wardrobe choices. By pulling my skirt down a lot the fabric fell to my knees instead of my upper thighs where it should have been. Thanks to the winter jacket, I was covered enough that Charlie wouldn't be suspicious.

"Jesus," Edward stared at me.

"For you, not anyone else." I had to be sure he didn't think I was dressing up for Jake. With all of the jeans I had been wearing lately, I felt a change was in order. Edward had gone through three outfits today none of which included blue jeans. I didn't feel substandard in any way but it was time the pants went back into hibernation, at least for a little while.

"Uh… wow."

"Thanks," I smiled. "I didn't think we'd be here all night, I've got until midnight before I need to be home…"

I didn't need to say anything else. His eyes darkened and he got out to open my door for me. I'm glad he liked what I was wearing. I kissed Edward quickly before he pulled me close to him. His arm was around my waist securely as we walked to the door. I heard rap music echoing from inside. Memories assaulted me, Phoenix kids had loved this shit.

"Yo," Jake opened the door. "What's up?"

"Hi," I smiled at him. "Gonna keep us outside all night?"

Edward brushed aside a few bugs that flew around my head. The lights were attracting quite a few of them. Being in front of the only source of light for miles… I wanted to get inside immediately. I leaned into Edward and only willpower kept me from closing my eyes and using him as a shield. Disgusting things, I hated bugs.

"Right," he opened the door wider and ushered us inside. "Forgot about you phobia, sorry."

He looked like Old-Jake tonight. His hair was long and brushed, I remembered making fun of him once because he'd pony tailed it with one of my pink hair ties. Shortly thereafter he had cut all of it off. Horrifying, really. I couldn't imagine cutting my hair, it had always fallen to the middle of my back.

I knew what it was like to be bullied and I tried really hard not to do it to anyone else. I made sure to tell him that it looked good either way. My last memory of him had been with hair cropped close to his head in a buzz cut. It was nice to know he was comfortable with himself again.

"After you," Edward replied dryly. Of course he wouldn't want Jake at his back. I took his hand and rested it on my hip. He wasn't exactly tense, but relaxation wouldn't come until we were far from here.

We followed Jake down a hallway and passed several rooms with people smoking, making-out… no wonder Charlie preferred Jake come to us. It reminded me of a few drug houses in Phoenix where everyone laid around, wasted time smoking a variety of things while waiting for school to be over. Even then, I would head home, but a lot of them had nowhere else to go.

Suicide was an option for some, escape could be found in a multitude of ways. Endless days of ingesting drugs in order to feel some semblance of happiness. The motivated were recreational users. The hardcore users were strung out, trying to die in any way possible. There didn't seem to be much of that here, I heard people laughing, dancing; Edward walked in front of me and cleared a path.

"…should be empty," Jake said loudly to be heard over the blasting music.

He opened a door and I felt the tension come to life in Edward's body. Sam and Paul were sitting inside, passing a blunt back and forth they glanced over at us and glared. The room was pretty large, the size of my living room. A couch was against the far wall, a few chairs were placed to either side. There was a television and a game system in front of the furniture.

"Calm down," Jake said. "I invited them here. You guys mind clearing out?"

"Yeah, actually, I do," Paul growled.

"I want them here," Jacob reiterated. "Do you have a problem with _me_?"

"No," he finally said, grudgingly.

"I'll come smoke with you later. I'm catching up with Bella, alright?"

"You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Sam."

Paul and Sam had left what remained of their blunt, a bag of weed was on the wooden coffee table. Ashtrays and a few beer bottles were resting on the floor. Jake threw a pack of Newports onto the table and pulled out a pipe from one of his pants pockets. The two nodded at one another and Edward kept his eyes fixed on them as they left the room. He gently pushed me back against the wall and used his body to cover mine from view. He and Paul exchanged a rather hostile glance, but no words were spoken.

"Sorry about that," Jake sighed as he closed the door. "Some of the guys are still a little pissed about what happened the other night."

"Um… why? You came after us, remember?"

"And he," Jake meant Edward, "tore through at least five of my guys."

"Actually," Edward spoke up, "I tried to talk things out. Paul was the one who insisted we throw down. I had no problem either way. Don't try to blame all of that the fuck on me."

"Whoa," Jake held up a hand. "No blame, man. Just saying, there's obviously some resentment on both sides."

"_Resentment_?"

"Anyway," I cut in having heard the sarcastic turn in Edward's tone. "What is this place?"

"Where we all hang out. It's far enough from city limit that no one hears anything. We play music loud as we want, I've got two guys on the roof at all times keeping an eye on things. Billy knows we're here, he used to lead the gang when he was my age. When the guy before me left for college, I took over."

Edward and I sat on the couch, Jake took one of the chairs and turned it to face us. Probably to protect me, Edward sat closet to Jake and the door. There were two windows, we were sitting between them. I shook my head after Jake lit the blunt and offered it to me.

"You're a junior now, right?"

"Yup, one more year to go. Not sure if I'm going to college, I kind of like the way things are now. I took over my sophomore year. Did you ever meet Jared?"

"Nope. You never introduced me to any of your friends."

"I didn't want to drag you into any of this," he laughed. "Besides, Charlie's your Dad, you know?"

"Yeah."

Edward glanced over at my sharp tone, but I wasn't going to clarify. Not right now. Jake didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong. In fact, nothing _was_ wrong. A minor slip-up on my part, easily forgotten.

"Jared led before he left. He taught me what I needed to know and, once he was sure I knew how to handle things, he took off a year ago. It was cool of him to stay."

"What happens if you decide to leave?" I asked.

"There's a vote and someone else gets put in charge."

"And that's how you got this position? People voted?"

"Long story short, yeah. Since Billy used to run things, it made sense that I take over. We've always kept things within the family, you knew that. Billy knows first-hand what goes on, everyone else on the Res, too. This has been going on for generations, the treaty laid down all those years ago was to protect what it is we really do."

I didn't like thinking that Billy and Charlie were friends due to ulterior motives. If I hadn't seen for myself that the two shared a real friendship, I'd be pissed. Charlie tended to see the good in people. Since Billy didn't give any reasons not to trust him… Dad would have no reasons to suspect anything illegal was going on here.

In all the time I spent with Jake, I would have never guessed he was anything but a good country guy. The only thing I had ever questioned was why he preferred rap music. That in and of itself was not a major warning sign, I had always liked rock and metal. Radio stations here played mainly country or rock ballads and songs from the seventies or eighties… we had to find our own music. I had heard Mike Newton listening to Eminem, the bitch crew liked songs they could dance to, Edward's room often sounded like a goth club or metal concert. How would I, or anyone else, have known Jake was in charge of massive amounts of drugs?

"Lucrative business?" I guessed.

"Not bad," he shrugged. "It's not nearly as serious now. The older guys are married and retired. They share stories, but we all just have fun for the most part. We have a few problems, Newton being an example. I deal with what's necessary to protect us, but it's really not difficult to keep things under the radar."

"So… I'm glad it's an easy job, I guess."

"Exactly. No one wants to get caught, I've only had one or two problems, easily taken care of. People in your area keep our secret for their safety and because we supply. If they rat, we stop selling to them and really? Where else would they go?"

"Addiction's a bitch," I agreed.

That was the only good thing about the drug business. Being secretive and discreet was key, talking would lead to losing what they wanted most. Physical withdrawal was a bitch. I had seen people shake and vomit, curl into a ball and vary between chills and heat flashes. That was part of the reason I never got hooked on any hard drug. I didn't like the thought of losing control so completely. I had tried a bunch of things, but nothing that was instantly addictive.

"Okay, I have to ask. Who the hell are you, silent guy?"

I waited, breathless. Jake's tone could have been a little less accusatory, but he wasn't exactly being rude. They were two very masculine guys. Neither of them were provoking the other, yet they weren't going out of their way to clear the air.

"My boyfriend," I offered.

"Edward Cullen."

"No shit. A Cullen on the Res. Where'd the son of a doctor learn to fight like you do?"

Fuck. Edward was completely still, he raised his eyes slowly to Jake and looked him up and down.

"Jake, you can't really talk," I protested. "You're the son of the so-called law enforcement here, yet you run a gang. Really?"

"Touché," he leaned back in his chair and lit a cigarette.

I followed suit, lighting one for Edward first I curled up next to him with my legs underneath me. The two of them were staring at one another again without saying anything. Edward, I knew, was studying Jacob for weaknesses. Jake, I'm pretty sure, was just curious.

"What would you have done with Newton?" Jake inquired.

"When?" Edward replied.

"You're obviously still pissed about what happened," Jake cut to the core of the problem. "So, what would you have done?"

"What I did," Edward replied. "I cornered him, let him run, tracked him the fuck down, and made him pay. Not only did he pay me extra, but I know he wont fucking talk about what happened."

"You go to school with him," Jake pointed out.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's easier for you. You're near him for at least eight hours a day."

"You don't know where he lives?"

"Well… yeah. I wasn't going to barge into the guy's fucking-"

"That's not the issue here," Edward interrupted. "I'm pissed because one of your guys hit Bella. Not only did they hit her, but you sent two people after her."

"She was dressed like a guy. I didn't know it was her. When I found out, everything stopped, didn't it?"

"I am here…" Engrossed in their conversation, neither could hear me. They continued to circle one another, worse than sharks. Jacob studied Edward, Edward looked ready to answer an impromptu attack...

"Seven guys on two people?"

"It wasn't personal," Jake insisted.

"Considering they wanted to beat the shit out of me," Edward leaned forward. "I took it really fucking personally."

It didn't look like they would be fighting anytime soon. Realistically, I knew this had to happen. So long as no one threw a punch, I was content to sit back and let them work things out for themselves. If I thought things were going to get physical, I'd intervene. They were rapid firing statements at one another, I could barely get a word in. Jake was on the defensive, Edward the offensive. Both could hold their own. I eyed the leftover blunt. No, we had enough to worry about.

"What if I had a way to even things out for you?"

"I'd say you should be really fucking sure before offering," Edward snapped.

"Alright. I'm sure, better?"

"Maybe."

"Join us."

Edward blinked in surprise and looked more guarded than he had before. "What the fuck?"

Yeah, that about summed everything up. What the fuck was Jake thinking? Even worse; would Edward actually think it over?

"You had Mike Newton pay you for having his back. I can pay a lot more."

"No thanks."

"With fighting skills like you have… you're really happy with going to school, doing homework, sneaking drugs? You could have a place here to smoke and free stuff whenever you wanted it. You'd also walk away each month with an extra five thousand, minimum. Steady cash."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't need free drugs. I've got money. There are plenty of places for me to smoke, and I don't fucking trust you. At all. That cover everything?"

"I haven't done anything to you. That's what I really don't fucking understand here."

Edward snorted. "You need everyone to like you?"

"No," Jake scoffed. "If someone hates me, I like to know why."

"You don't know how to run a gang. The risks you take, from what I've seen, are really fucking unnecessary. Hate isn't what you should be worried about. It really shouldn't have been your first concern. Revenge, retribution, how big a threat I pose and which of your men could take me down is what you should have focused on."

"And you have experience in this area," Jake accepted the criticism without flinching.

"Yeah, I do."

"That's why I ask," Jacob looked pleased with himself. "No one takes guys down the way you did unless they've been in something."

"A long fucking time ago. I'm not looking to join anything again."

"Ah, so that's how shit went down." Jake was serious now, no longer jovial in any way. He glanced over at me, I kept my facial expression neutral. That wasn't my story to tell, he wouldn't find any hints from me.

"You've no idea." Edward's eyes were gray and sharp, nothing else needed to be said.

"I… apologize then. There was no offense meant. I just figured you'd take the offer seeing as you worked for Mike Newton. How much did you end up getting from him, after all?"

"More than he was willing to part with, but not so much that he'd come to you for money."

"Yo, this is bullshit! They're holed the fuck up in there… That bastard walks the fuck away after causing all that fucking damage?" We all heard a loud thud. Jake immediately got up and threw the door open.

"What's the fucking problem? Paul?"

"Not just me," Paul snarled. "How the fuck could you?"

"Control yourself," Jake warned. "They're here on my invitation. You have a problem, take it up with me."

"Alright," he was trembling with anger. "I fucking will. We watch your back, right? And now they're _here_?"

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Not nearly fucking enough. I'm calling that motherfucker out." Paul peered into the room. His eyes were red-rimmed and a bottle of alcohol was in his hand. Embry was holding him back, but he looked pissed, too. Looking at Jake, I saw, for the first time, the leader of a gang. His face was set, eyes dark.

"This is _not _the time," Jacob said authoritatively. "We'll talk about this later."

"I know where you live, asshole," Paul yelled. "You'd better watch your fucking back."

Edward got up violently. "Threaten my family and you've got a _huge fucking problem_. C'mon, you got more than words to back your shit up?"

I stared at him in astonishment. Edward had stood with his back to me, shielding me from view again. The switch had flipped. I had a feeling that the reaction wouldn't have been nearly so violent if Paul hadn't mentioned Edward's house. Embry was now nowhere to be seen. He had slunk quietly away, probably remembering the damage Edward could have done to his spine.

"Everyone, calm the fuck down! No one's fighting tonight," Jacob ordered. "Sam!"

The tallest of them, also the more muscled, stepped to the forefront. He cracked his knuckles and neck, stared at the four guys with a steady expression.

"Sober him up," Jake ordered. "I'm not dealing with this right now. What's the big fucking deal?"

"There's been rumors that a Cullen is here," Sam said patiently.

He put one of his large hands on Paul's shoulder. Paul's knees nearly buckled under the weight, and Sam didn't seem to be exerting any force.

Jake crossed his arms. "What if there is?"

"We have a potential liability," Sam replied. "Bella's bad enough with her father and all, but if Carlisle or Esme Cullen were to hear about what happens here…"

"They won't," Jacob said with full confidence.

"How do you know that?"

"He buys from Newton. They've given me no reason to trust their word. Unlike my people," Jake glared at Paul, "they aren't going to start shit tonight."

"Alright," Sam nodded. "Good enough for me."

"No way. No, fuck this. I'm not going to get locked up because you're after some chick. You want her, go after her on your own fucking time," Paul slashed at the air with his hand, gesturing between Jake and I… I was confused. "I'm not havin' your back if you're not lookin' out for us first."

"That's what this is about?" Jake asked, confused as I was. "I'm not interested in Bella Swan."

"This is fucking _bullshit!" _Paul shoved Sam out of the way, dodged past Jake. It all happened so fast, no one knew what was happening. One second Edward was near the couch, the next Paul was inside the room. I quickly got out of the way, my first reaction when dealing with a drunken and enraged person who had possibly ingested drugs of some kind.

I watched as Edward grabbed him around the shoulders, stopping him. One of his hands was on Paul's neck. The next thing I knew, Paul was being slammed down against the wooden coffee table. It really stood no chance, with over two hundred pounds being forced down on it… the table broke.

Paul was struggling, but there was no hope for him. Edward held him down and straddled him on the floor. "Next time you fucking threaten me, remember this moment, asshole. I could break your fucking neck."

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Listen to me," Edward shook him so hard his head bounced against the floor. "You give me your word, right the fuck now, that you never set foot near my fucking house. You want to come after _me_, fucking do it. If I hear one more fucking word from you about my family, I'll kill you right the fuck now."

"Jake," I heard Sam say.

Jacob held a hand up asking for a moment.

Edward punched Paul across the face once, "Last warning, motherfucker. I will kill you."

"Get the fuck _off me_. Asshole!" Paul manage to gasp once before Edward tilted his head up, one hand at his throat.

"Say it!" Edward's fingers dug in as he gave Paul one last chance to breathe.

I didn't think he was going to. When Paul looked over Edward's shoulder and saw that no one was coming to rescue him, his face darkened with anger and resolution.

"If I fucking come after you, it'll only be you, alright?"

Oh thank fuck. I really, really didn't want to be the one to draw Edward's attention. This wasn't like earlier with Mike, talking Edward down because of a misunderstanding. Paul had threatened Edward's parents, his sister. That couldn't be tolerated. Edward would never forgive himself, I'd never forgive myself, if Paul were to make good on his threat, especially if I were the one who stopped Edward from preventing it. Paul didn't seem the type to make idle threats.

Edward hauled him to his feet. "Lets settle this, now. Why wait?"

Paul's eyes flickered to Sam again. Jake had one eyebrow raised, Sam leaned back against the doorframe and took one step back. His allegiance was clear, no one was going to step in to prevent this fight.

"Fine by me," he wiped a thin line of blood from his face.

Edward let him stand on his own. Paul straightened his shoulders and leveled Edward with a lethal glare. Easily deflecting Paul's right hook, two more followed and Edward dodged them. Without moving, it seemed, he lashed out. Paul's back bounced off the closest wall and he doubled over while holding his stomach. Stepping over the broken remnants of the table, he grabbed Paul again and slung him into another wall. Paul was in no condition to fight, but the point was clear. Edward wasn't even trying. I noticed Sam move to a better position in which to see the fight.

I marveled at Edward's skill. He kept Jake and Sam within eye-range, never had his back to the door, he avoided throwing Paul in my direction, and every move was used for maximum efficiency. Paul was lucky to still be alive. I varied between feeling light-headed with what was unfurling in front of me and numb because I really should have known something like this would happen.

A very small part- maybe not to small- part of me was proud of Edward. He was my boyfriend, fuck-awesome in almost every fucking possible way. If he wasn't a good person underneath all of _this_, I'd have been worried for my safety. Not a lot of guys who used fighting moves like he had displayed made good boyfriends.

Edward held him against the wall, one arm pressed against the middle of Paul's back, the other at his neck.

"Next time you make threats, you'd better make sure you can see them through. If I hear anything else about me from you, I'll come after you. Trust me, you really, really don't fucking want that." He swung Paul around and pushed him toward Sam. Paul stumbled once and almost fell, barely catching himself, Sam helped keep him upright.

"Get him the fuck out of here. Make sure he knows that I have a gun. I won't hesitate to use it if I see him anywhere near my house. My point clear?"

"I'll be right back," Sam maintained eye-contact with Edward for a second. Jake nodded and sighed heavily while running a hand across his face.

"I've faced some seriously fucked up people. Paul, you, no one here registers on that fucking scale. If you like the guys in your gang, keep them the fuck away from me."

I gathered my stuff together, it was time to go.

"You guys are leaving?"

Edward and I stared at him. After what had happened, he really expected us to stay?

"Um… Jake? What exactly have you been smoking? Did you not see what just went down?"

"That's exactly why you shouldn't go yet," he answered me. "I don't want there to be bad blood between us. Paul doesn't speak for me. I'll deal with him tomorrow."

"You should have dealt with him tonight," Edward snapped.

"I know," Jake closed the door again. "I'm sorry about that. It won't happen again, Paul's always been hot-headed. I owe you a favor."

"More than one," Edward glared at him.

"Done. What do you want?"

"Paul's going to be guarded tonight? I'd trust Sam to watch him, no one else. If he gets away from Sam, you need to call me. Immediately."

"He won't hurt your family," Jake said quietly. "Paul's temper is a little out of control, but he wouldn't murder innocent people to get back at you."

"Are you sure? Infinitely sure?" Edward added. "Because I can't leave a threat like that unanswered."

"Paul said, 'I know where you live,' not 'I'm going to take out your family.' He would have caught _you_ alone, but I'm infinitely sure that he would have left everyone else alone."

Edward and Jake stared at one another for several very long seconds. Jacob didn't flinch, though he did look relieved when Edward sat back.

"Bella wanted allies. Now we have them. Do you agree?"

"That depends on the situation," Jake said carefully. "We don't get involved with regular Forks bullshit. If, however, you truly need our help… I, at least, will be there."

"And me," Sam was back. "Paul will be out for most of tomorrow. He's passed out in the back." Glancing at Edward, he nodded in approval. "You have some serious moves, man."

"That?" Edward snorted, "That was nothing. I don't kill the inebriated. If someone's going to die, I want them to know exactly what's happening to them."

"You sure you're not looking for work?" Jake and Sam were studying him hard. "I can pay you eight grand a month, changed my mind. You'd be an incredible asset to us."

"He's not a fucking _thing,_" I said, finally exasperated enough to speak up. Everyone stared at me, I fought the flush that rose and made me feel light-headed again. In the past I would have backed down, but I was pissed now and they would damn well listen to me.

"You all keep talking about him as though he's some sort of possession for you to acquire. He's a fucking person! We came here with respect for you. Mostly. At least I did," the blush was threatening again, but I powered through it. "The least you can do, especially since one of your own attacked us, is give him the same respect."

"You're right…" Jake paused not knowing what else to say.

"You sit up in here like you're some sort of fucking king. Edward's right, there _was_ no need for Paul's fuckery to continue. You wanted to see how Edward would deal with it. I don't appreciate the manipulation, and yes, I know exactly what the fuck you were doing."

"Manipulation?" His tone said one thing, the expression he quickly covered read another.

"Don't pretend to be stupid," I curled my fists at my side to keep from punching Jake. "You know exactly what you were doing, Jacob Black. You knew Edward wouldn't kill Paul, not with people knowing where we are. If you wanted to see a damn demonstration, why didn't you just ask him? If I find out you staged the whole thing with Paul to see Edward in action, I'll kick your ass."

"No," Sam said. "You won't."

"You're built like a fucking mountain," I interjected when I felt Edward tense up. "I'm supposed to believe you couldn't hold him back?"

"He got away, I wasn't expecting him to make a break for it."

"... fine." I could remember seeing the surprise on their faces even if anticipation _had_ followed shortly thereafter. "Either way, stop talking about him like he's inferior to you."

"Do _you_ want a job?" Jake's lips twitched. "Same offer applies."

"Fuck you," I rolled my eyes.

"Alright," Jake sat back down. "Anyway, have a seat, guys. Smoke some shit with me. I personally guarantee safe passage for the both of you whenever you come here."

"I've heard that before," I glared at him. To my absolute and utter surprise, Edward went back over to the couch and raised his eyebrow at me.

"You need a new table," he said to Jake. Turning to me again, he crooked-smiled and made room on the couch. "You wanted allies, babe."

**Authors End Note:**  
Sorry for the long wait and shorter chapter than normal. I started a new job and it's been pretty time-consuming. Toward the middle of this chapter, I ran out of ideas. I was torn between a fight between Jake and Edward. How the two of them would leave the Res with all of Jake's gang pissed… not sure how I would have accomplished that. I definitely wanted there to be some sort of fight, and the rest of the Res trip will continue in Edward's point of view.

**Authors End Note 2:  
Tghb-**  
No problem! I'm glad you like this Alice! She's not in it a lot, and I really keep trying to fix that. Different things keep happening and she seems really involved with Jas as of right now. =/

**Heavyinfinity-**  
Thanks for your awesome comments. ^_^. I took a few days to go back and edit all of the chapters, I'm sure I'll go back and do that again at least twice. I forget to actually edit and read as though it's not my story. So many things to keep an eye on, haha.  
**o  
**I'm really glad you liked the Charlie chapter and the one after! Hopefully the Res chapter was entertaining for you!

**GuysGirls3, Bunch2009, acw1, Angel04une, San4jon, bookfreaklover, 1dreamkeeper, DodgerMcClure, Bhekie, LadyChery, Blahblahblah-  
**Thanks to all of you! I'm glad you continue to find this story interesting and that you review because of it!

**Fliberty-**  
Thanks very much! I definitely don't think Charlie will be making another appearance, though. He was really difficult to write and even though it helped clear some things out… I prefer Edward and Bella POV. 'sigh of relief. =P.  
I tend to get caught up in the serious aspect of this story and I forget how draining it can be to read angst in every chapter. I don't think there was much of that after the dance and the sticky-gun fight. I agree, and I'm glad that people can see the progression these characters are making!

**Jansails-**  
You make good points, thanks for them. I wanted Bella to get some release seeing as she 'helped' Edward twice already. I'll have to go back and add some 'foreplay' into their shopping trip, thanks for mentioning that too. =)  
I'm not sure what you mean by 'too vulnerable a position to be in for a female.' I mean, I sort of understand… to some degree... and I'll think on how it might be possible to improve on that. Thanks again!

**AngelofRosesCullen-**  
Haha, I like the way you think. =D  
And yes, I wrote it that way purposefully. Edward and Bella with all of their possessive qualities are fun to write. Their relationship, which is apparent to everyone who is in their circle, isn't that obvious to someone like Jake who hasn't known Bella as well. Sort-of a wake up call, I guess.  
Edward's learning to control himself, and he is a pretty rational person… sometimes. That all tends to go out the window when he thinks they're being threatened, though. Not sure what's going to happen with Jake, but peace seems to have found them for the moment.

**Amethice-**  
I'm not sure where Maggie came from. I was going to do the (**) thing, but… all of a sudden, there she was. Another insight to Edward's character, which I think was good because we too-often see the rough side of his personality and I wanted there to be more to him than that. =)  
I fixed the Renee mistake, thanks for bringing that to my attention!

**Rasinett-**  
I've gone back through some of the chapters and fixed the age problem. I'm sure I've missed some things, but I'm trying to clear everything up. Edward is nineteen and I explained that by having him stay back a grade. Sorry for any confusion.  
The problem with not outlining is that trying to make everything fit into nineteen years… I did go back and have Alice be fourteen and Edward fifteen when they were adopted. That lines things up better. =/

**TwiSagaLover-**  
I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much for the rec! I don't mind at all, thank you so, so much!

**Cat5050-**  
I actually have ulterior motives for all of the junk food. No worries, they'd all be violently ill if they ate all of the things they bought. I'll explain that soon, promise!  
I'm glad you liked the music. This chapter brought back some high-school memories, the Playlist reflected that. Heh. I tried to choose songs that weren't Too offensive, at least. Use of the 'n' word makes me feel iffy.  
I never mind rants. They're amusing and I take into consideration the deeply felt emotions, thanks!

**Sarix Angel-**  
Chocolate and strawberries are a wonderful thing. Especially white chocolate- it makes my teeth hurt, but its soo good. =P.  
What's been giving you major headaches? Sorry! I owe you some Advil, haha.  
I plan on having fun with gym class, it made me happy that Edward changed classes. That all happened because I was running out of things to write. I felt awkward, too, just writing the dinner. Wasn't sure how things were going to go and Edward's filler conversation ended well, I'm happy with it. ^_^  
I'll try to bring Alice and Jas back, really. I have a book of French phrases that I found at a rummage sale, that's why the whole languages thing applies. And yes, thinking of Edward speaking French and Spanish makes me incredibly happy. =P

**VAVikingGirl-**  
Thank you! **The Red Line** was another amazing story. Very dark, and I have to go back to read the rest… but such a great story!  
I really try to keep things interesting. I don't want anyone to get bored. That's probably why it's taken so long to update. I don't want to hastily pen something and post it just because, you know? =)

**Parkesy23-**  
Everyone's been so nice with the Charlie Chapter Mix-Up. Just wanted to say thanks, first and foremost, because aside from one or two critiques, no one's flamed! Thank you for reviewing and sticking with this story!

**Dazzleglo-**  
I liked Maggie, too. She was actually based on someone I knew in life. A teacher, though, but one of the few that I actually got along with. She had a way of speaking that I respected- speaking her mind bluntly, using her age to get away with what someone younger wouldn't be able to. She was a crafty lady and her humor helped get me through some bad days. =)  
I don't actually know what Charlie was thinking. I've put off explaining because, eventually, it'll all make sense. Edward understands for some reason, which baffles me… I'd have expected him to be up in arms about it. Go figure?  
Thanks for the fantastic review! I've added your story to my To-Read List and I'll definitely be around soon to comment as wonderfully as you've done for me!

**Drkvctry-**  
I commend you on getting your car's oil changed! I'm so lax with that… if my car didn't beep at me when she needs something, I'd completely forget altogether. I suck, I know, haha.  
I'm really glad you like the mini-lemons so much! Full lemon coming soon, promise!

**Kitasky123-**  
No problem! I'm just glad you find time to read and review at all what with busy scheduling and senior year. Good luck with colleges and everything!

**DreamyDane-**  
Yeah, I knew I'd be busy so I wanted to get that last chapter up asap. The two were written basically at the same time, so it wasn't difficult to write the last few pages and post it. I hope it didn't seem rushed, I tried to take my time with it. This one, too. =D

**Karen4honor-**  
Thanks for the reviews! Haha, gym locker-room sex, good idea!

**Christykq-**  
Gotta love small-town shopping. Shoprite and A&P in the city aren't conducive to back-room fondling, 'sigh. I like Charlie as a character and it takes a little planning so that he doesn't do something that'll change my, and everyone else's, opinion. He is a Dad and Bella is his first priority, but Edward being who he is… I can't see someone like Charlie not being able to understand that Bella is Edward's priority, too, you know?  
Thanks for the long and awesome review!

**Mallorylee-**  
Yes, Emmett and Rose will definitely be appearing soon. In another chapter or two at least, because once they enter the story… that signals the final length of the story. At least, that's what I think now. I thought the Res would be the end, once upon a time, too, but then new story-twists emerged.  
I love how everyone naturally assumed Jake was trying to get between them. I can see how that assumption could be made, I'd actually had something like that planned… but then it went a whole different way. Not sure what Edward's thinking yet, I'll get to that soon!

**Cullen Concession-**  
Hahaha, that's awesome! I'm glad for the two of you, then. =D Thanks for the lemon support!  
Don't ever apologize for not reviewing! I love each and every one and I'm so happy you take the time to leave them! Also, your compliment was amazing! I'm hoping you didn't have to go through anything that's in this story, I'd hope that for anyone… =).  
Calmer chapters, yeah… I tried! This one and the chapter before this one were pretty low-key, right? Heh, at least compared to the Bad Trip, etc.

**Sicily Volterra-**  
It means a lot to me that people are following this story on mobile fanfic. Lets me know I'm doing a pretty decent job, =D. I'm really happy you like Edward and Bella! Thank you for your fun review!

**Chloe-**  
Thanks! O.O, wow. That's a lot of love for 'The Handcuff Bracelet,' =D!

**Minnakoda-**  
Disjointed? Hmm, I'll have to go back and read through to see if I can make things run more smoothly. Thanks for letting me know!

**FinnMac-**  
Thanks! I hope you like/liked the rest of the story as much as you liked the first chapter!

**Ccaajjaa-**  
Yay! You're back! I missed you! I hope things have calmed down for you. I look forward to hearing from you, of course. You leave such nice reviews and I love your enthusiasm. =)

**Andreacf77-**  
Thanks! Ugh, I've got to go back and proof Phantasms. Don't judge too harshly. 'wince. I apologize ahead of time if you Do go and read it… there's a lot of work I have to do for that story. I'm glad you liked the dance chapter, it was a lot of fun to write!


	33. All The Things She Said

**Chapter 33  
- All The Things She Said**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series and any related characters do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**Had to change Leah's name from Carlisle's chapter. Sorry, guys, needed her in this chapter!  
**Authors Note 3:  
****Edward's Surprise **(sans the lone surfer guy)-  
http:/eventidemush(dot)wdfiles(dot)com/local-files/setting/lapush(dot)jpg

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Gasolina- **Daddy Yankee  
**Rude Boy- **Rhianna  
**Pyromania- **Cascada  
**Dead Girl Superstar- **Rob Zombie  
**Hysteria- **Muse  
**All the Things She Said- **t.A.T.u

**Edward's Point of View**

My reaction may have been a _little_ extreme. I could easily have eradicated Paul, but all of the consequences weren't worth the momentary satisfaction. Jacob and Sam hadn't seemed pleased at all by Paul's interference. Paul was a fucking livewire and he needed to be dealt with immediately. Guys like that were risky to keep around. They could cause a lot of trouble for the gang. I didn't know why they took that risk aside from the fact that it was a family-owned 'business.' Every family had a black sheep. Paul seemed to be theirs.

Honestly, he wasn't even that bad. At least I made sure that no one in the room could say I attacked him first. Only after he threw the first punch did I retaliate. Drunk and clumsy, he was a fucking fool for challenging anyone in that condition. He was immature and really needed to learn some restraint… but considering their coffee table was splintered, I probably had no room to talk. I was lucky nothing had punctured Paul's vital organs. So much for using the environment to my advantage. I might have offered to pay for the damages under different circumstances. Paul attacked me, and the table wasn't more than fifty dollars. All of them could fuck off.

My feelings regarding Jake had moved from annoyance to tolerance. I knew he wanted to see me fight again the moment he asked me to join them. Sam had been interested from the beginning. He had asked me the same thing as we had faced one another across pavement. The guy seemed to be all about business, even high I knew he would be a force to be reckoned with. I really fucking respected that. It would have been impossible to explain, yet I knew Sam wouldn't fuck with me unless I started something with him first. He passed my test, I had moved from threat to possible ally in his mind. He was almost my equal. Jake seemed aware, at least, that Sam was his best chance at defense.

I could take him, of course, and I had proven that fact… but if given a choice- a legitimate choice- I wouldn't want to fight him again. If it came down to it and they stopped asking me to join and started insisting, I might need to call for some backup of my own. I collected those type of favors for a reason.

If the person turned me down, no one would be surprised if they showed up beaten to hell. Not everyone was as understanding. Favors were a tricky thing where I came from. Reneging often brought about bad feelings that were resolved with weapons. I didn't anticipate needing Jake's help for anything, but it _was_ nice to have the assurance that he could take our side over one of his own. Bella was right. Again.

Her instincts were great. She never considered Jake a real threat. Friendship aside, I had a feeling that she'd be able to see through ulterior motives no matter how many years had passed. She hadn't looked worried when they offered me a gang invite. Aside from glancing over at me, a neutral expression on her face, she hadn't tensed up or answered for me. I really fucking appreciated that.

It was such a bad move on Jake's part in so many ways. If I did join, not that I had any intention of doing so, the gang would split. They didn't want us here to hang-out, they'd hate if I were to be considered one of them. I had no problem putting on a show, though. That's how things always went. My audition, so to speak, for the gang I did join consisted of fighting some of their best. It stopped when they gave the signal. I stayed on my feet, inflicted damage and had it returned, and by the end I was in. Not very much kept me down back then. I had too much to live for, and someone to take care of.

The eight thousand, however, would have been nice. When I thought about being challenged by one, two, or three of them at a time… no fucking thanks. Carlisle would notice the bruises and bloodshed. I couldn't use Jasper as my excuse again. He was a good guy, I wouldn't have him lie for me. Alice deserved better than that when it came to our family and her first real relationship.

I knew she would have my back, always did. By doing so this time, it would mean that she'd have to side against Esme and Carlisle. She- we- fuck it, she considered them her mother and father, it would be beyond unforgivable if I threatened their bond. I actually really cared for our… guardians. They would be disappointed and, truth be told, I'd be pretty pissed with myself, too.

Besides, I wanted Bella to be safe. Knowing her, she would insist on fighting next to me. Jake, the asshole, had already issued her an invitation. She would latch onto that and get herself hurt. Sure, she could take care of herself, but it would be a lot more difficult if she needed to face men. Paul, the two fucks that had gone after her, they would definitely issue a challenge. Then they would die. Best to avoid all of that now and in the future. With what I had seen of their 'security,' I could come go in one night and rob them blind. Money really wasn't an issue.

The guys Jake had on the roof both had beer bottles in their hands. I saw people inside the house who weren't drinking or doing drugs, but if I found some hot chick and threw her their way? I'd walk out of there with all of their drugs and some nice gold chains to pawn. If Alice came with me, she could probably lift their wallets. Nimble-fingered Alice, she was so unassuming and quick no one took any notice of her.

Bella was again curled up next to me on the couch. I felt a smidgen of respect for Jake. He was too trusting and I considered him to be relatively incompetent when it came to gang matters, but this wasn't any major branch in the United States. Country life was really different from living in the city. Even the drug business was laid-back. Knowing that I could go to a department store and buy a shotgun, Jake's gang didn't need to deal with weapons. Any excuse would work here provided the person was of legal age to own and operate a firearm. By saying I wanted protection from bears or wolves, I could get a gun.

If I really wanted to go all out, I could apply for a hunting license. And if I wanted to go the extra insane step, I could put in an application with the police force. Not likely, but still an option if the situation ever arose. Working with Bella's father would almost be worse than joining Jake's gang. I had the feeling he'd send me into the woods on a bear chase, with no actual bear threat, for his amusement.

As I had told Bella, I could relate to his sense of humor. It was safe, meant in good fun. I've no doubt, if Charlie truly thought there was a chance it would damage our relationship, he wouldn't have suggested it. Jake was Bella's friend, I had been beyond pissed to hear his voice come through the phone; Charlie put two and two together and came up with a bold four. I'd congratulate him soon as my first reaction wouldn't be to punch him in the jaw, in a friendly way, of course. He would probably understand the motive, too. The assault charge would be his retaliation, it would escalate from there. Nothing would stick, but proving his point would be easier for him than me proving mine.

I'd keep Bella safe, as I promised him. There were very few people I'd let get under my defense to the point where I'd promise them something. Bella was one, her Dad when dealing with all matters pertaining to her was another. Alice, Esme, Carlisle- Elizabeth Masen, a long time ago. She had made me swear to escape when I was old enough. And since she didn't give details, I took from that what I could. Six seemed to be a good age. Failing at my first attempt, eight felt like a good time to try again. Epic fail. At ten, Masen died. I guess that counts. Til death do they part, and the family dies with them. Free to make their own way, eight more years of biding time; I was legally free except for the pesky little probation issue.

Bella lit me a cigarette and I felt no need to hide how I felt about her. My demonstration in the parking lot spoke volumes. Tearing after her across the parking lot hadn't been the best idea, but I'd do it again in a fucking second. Jake cared about her as a friend, he wouldn't let her be hurt under his watch. Unlike Jacob Black, I was prepared for a rushed attack or an ambush.

Putting my arm around her, she smiled at me and leaned against my side. I couldn't think about her defending me. Not yet. We were still in public and I planned on showing her how very much it meant to me. Not to mention, I'd be damned if they saw me grinning like some love-sick idiot because my girlfriend raged at a fucking _gang _on my behalf.

"It's not laced with anything, right?"

"Nope," Jake answered her. "I check that shit for myself."

She took the blunt from Sam and glanced over at me. I shrugged imperceptibly, but I knew she'd feel it. We probably weren't driving anytime soon. I had a feeling that the worst of tonight was over and done with. Throwing Paul around had made me feel better. I noticed the crowd that gathered during our fight quickly dispersed once we were done. No more idiocy to deal with unless someone in this room started something. Sam wouldn't, Jake really wouldn't, Bella would have punched someone by now if she were going to. Pot mellowed her out. And yes, I really loved High-Bella.

She took two deep hits, smiled cheekily at Jake, and took two more. When she passed it to me, I held it for a minute without raising it to my lips. I had no problem with her having some, but this felt strange to me.

"It's what Newton gives you, man. I wouldn't fuck with you when it comes to drugs."

I stared at Jake for a moment and saw nothing but sincerity in his expression. He had seen what I did to Paul. Even partially fucked up, I could take him. Fuck it, I took two deep hits and felt more at ease now than I had all night. Really, really, really fucking good. Oh man, I smiled without being able to help it. Jake laughed, held out his fist. Why the fuck not? I gave him the pound he wanted.

"Good?"

"Not bad," I put my arm around Bella and smiled again when she put her head on my shoulder.

"So what's the deal with Edward? I know why people might have a problem with my presence here on the Res, but what has Edward done to you. Prior to the parking lot thing, of course."

"He's a Cullen," Sam replied.

"So I keep hearing," Bella answered dryly.

"Between your father and his family… those are the main officials in Forks."

"Carlisle's a surgeon," I snorted. "Neither of my- Esme's not in law enforcement, either. Why are you so worried about it?"

"They collaborate a lot. What they know, Charlie will eventually know."

Bella looked confused. "They're that close? I mean, I knew Carlisle and my Dad worked together now and then…"

"Uh, yeah," Jake chuckled. "The two of them hit the diner at least once a week, so I heard. They used to be over at your house all the time. My Dad would go watch the game with Charlie, sometimes they'd be there…"

Truthfully, it was news to me, too. It didn't really matter, Esme and Carlisle could be friends with whomever they wanted. I was really fucking careful when it counted, if someone entered my room when I wasn't home and decided to root around in my drawers… I'd know immediately. To find the secret drawer with my illegal drugs, they'd have to do some hard-core searching.

Anyway, wherever they chose to hangout, it didn't really concern me. If they _were_ really that close, too late to do anything about it now. No one had stopped me from dating Bella. Carlisle had been concerned, Esme was nothing but happy for us. Charlie gave his consent, I'd deal with whatever happened from here on out as I always did. Prepare for the worst and accept the potential consequences. If I wanted to change something it would have happened by now.

"I smoke up in my house. Three years now that's been going on, you guys don't have to worry I'll fuck up somehow. Everyone stays quiet about our… dealings, we all get along amicably, right?"

"I don't have a dealer. Anything they find with me, I brought it with me from Phoenix. No worries, guys," she turned and grinned at me. "Remember? I told you that when we first met."

Yeah, she had. It was different now. I'd take full responsibility if we were caught. I had plenty of charges on my record. Drug related violations were the least of my problems. I'd take a class and show up for probation, not a big fucking deal. I had enough to make bail if I were arrested and I could pay any fines they hurled at me.

Bella actually wanted to attend college, she'd get there and do something with her life. I could work with any challenge that life brought my way. If I pumped gas for minimum wage, I had people to call if I needed serious cash. Becoming a surgeon, I still wasn't sure if that was my real life-plan. Everything was open-ended and always had been, I was content with whatever happened provided I could protect the people I cared about. Letting Bella risk the relationship she had with Charlie, that wasn't going to happen.

"But you can see how that'd pose a viable liability to us. We've managed to run things smoothly for generations. You," he nodded at Bella, "come to town and there's a possibility it'll all go to hell. At least you were friends with Jake here. Otherwise, we might have under different circumstances."

"That wasn't a threat," Jake added quickly. I hadn't moved, nice to know his instincts were still working over-time. "And there are other rooms if you guys want to walk around a bit."

"Is that a sign you need to go check on stuff?"

"I want to go talk to Paul, yeah," Jake said in response to Bella's question.

"Go ahead," she looked up at me hazily. "Edward and I can find plenty of things to do in your absence."

"Don't desecrate my couch," he warned. "I'll be back in twenty or so. There's beer in the other room, hard liquor in the back. Whatever we have, you're welcome to."

"This song is fun," Bella giggled. "I don't normally like it, but- uh, Jake? You were leaving, right?"

I laughed at his chagrined facial expression. Half-waving at him, I studied him carefully to be sure there was no envy, jealousy- I couldn't remember the exact definition anymore. Nope, nothing but amusement… and a little disbelief. Jake and I would get along provided that stayed true.

The door had barely closed before Bella launched herself on top of me. I really wasn't complaining, she looked incredibly pleased with herself as she looked into my eyes. I was still sitting and I felt a growing problem arise as she ground herself onto my lap.

_"Come on, rude boy, boy, can you get it up?"_

Lacing my arms behind my head, I watched in surprise as she gave me my first lap-dance. It was nice to know that there were still things I hadn't done. She rolled her hips and put her hands on my shoulders. Raising herself slightly, Bella leaned back and then forward so I had a nice view down the cleavage of her black corset.

No one could say I wasn't one for participation. I gripped Bella's waist and bucked my hips up. With the sexiest moan I had ever fucking heard, her eyes fluttered shut and her nails dug into my skin. Yeah, she enjoyed that. Her head was tipped down, those long fucking eyelashes raised slowly. When she met my gaze again, I was fully prepared to throw her over my shoulder and make a hasty exit to my car.

_"Tonight I'mma let you be the captain. Tonight I'mma let you do your thing, yeah."_

"Don't finish that," I laughed.

I forgot to charge my I-pod sometimes and, therefore, needed to rely on the radio to fill the silence. What people deemed popular usually annoyed me, but I knew most of the songs anyway. Bella was really fucking funny and she didn't really try to be, which is what I think amused me the most.

Here, having been surrounded by potential enemies… she hadn't flipped the fuck out on me for the minor fight with Paul. Barely twenty minutes after the fact, she heard a good beat and decided to perform another form of sexy as fuck dancing.

"Bitches! What's goin' on! And what's with this crappy music?"

I had been about to flip our position and engage in a little clothed desecration when the door flew open. … son of a bitch... What the fuck now?

"Uh, sorry," a tall, short and brown haired chick stood at the doorframe. "Thought Jake or Seth would be here."

"Nope," I answered.

"Commence groping," she smirked. "I'm off to find me some available men!"

Bella laughed and wrapped her legs tighter around my waist. The door slammed so hard that the walls shook. Whomever she had been, at least she hadn't left mad. A small part of me demanded I take a minute and realize how deeply Bella had affected me. A girl like that- I'd have been after her in a hot fucking second. She seemed fun in a laid-back kind of way. The type that wouldn't mind a one-night stand and late-night calls for a hook-up. I, however, hadn't looked lower than her face. Even then, it had been a cursory glance given only because… well, she _had_ interrupted us.

The music cut out abruptly, Bella laughed again when we heard shouts, curses, groans-

"Leah? You can't come up in here and change shit around!"

"Shut it, Quil. With this sausage fest… take what you can get. Roll me a joint, Seth! Quil, come dance with me!"

"You bring friends, Lee-Lee?"

"Hell yes! They're around, go hunt'em down!"

"Let's get outta here," I suggested. "We can find somewhere that offers more privacy?"

"Fine by me."

She disentangled herself from me and, purposefully, I'm sure, bent low over the couch to reach her jacket. I wanted to smack her ass, but the consequences probably wouldn't be fantastic. At least she had brought a coat this time. I kept mine in the car, severe cold and heat really didn't bother me. After the school dance, I always made sure to keep something in the car in case Bella forgot hers. Compared to Phoenix, winter was going to be hell for her.

"I kinda like this song, too," she grinned. Half-skipping, half-jumping to the beat, Bella took one of my hands in hers and led me out of the room. She twirled twice, rubbed herself against me a few times- there were more than a few people making-out all over the place. If we didn't get out of here soon, we'd be included in the orgy-waiting-to-happen.

"Yo, guys, I was just on my way back."

"We're heading out, but thanks for the invite. Interesting, as always," Bella rolled her eyes.

"Always," Jake agreed. "Thank you for stopping by. I hope you had _some_ semblance of fun?"

"Yep… let's aim for having fun, period, next time," she raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Sure," his gaze flicked to mine. "Drive safe, okay?"

"Of course."

Jake held his hand out, she had to let go of mine. Pressed between their bodies, Bella patted him twice on the back. Jake did the same to her, though he was much more gentle about it. The ultimate guy hug, he and I weren't going to be doing the same. I nodded at him and half-grinned at the still partially fucked-up situation.

I hadn't noticed it inside, but once we stepped through the front door- wow, the place had been really smoky. Fresh air tasted and smelled really good. I'd have to use some of my cologne on Bella before dropping her back at home. We both smelled heavily of cigarette smoke and pot, not a good combination if I wanted to take Bella out again.

"Where to now?"

"You like surprises, right?" I opened the door for her before crossing to the driver's side.

I had been here once or twice, a girl from the Res had wanted to hang out. Nothing happened that night, but we did smoke up together. Why not? My pot supply had been low, Newton wasn't picking up his phone… when I met the chick, she offered to share some of her stash. If I didn't leave with any, I figured there'd be no problems at the check-point. I was right. So far as I knew, no one else knew we had met up. Twisted fuck that I was, I couldn't remember her name.

We wouldn't be going to that particular location, but I _had_ promised Bella privacy. I needed to call on some serious self-control not to pull her down on top of me right here. My hands were nearly fucking shaking I wanted her so much. Once I started the car, my Ipod started immediately. I had forgotten to turn it off before leaving, the song made me think of sex.

So many positions and not enough time for all of them. My need for her cut through the pot-high. We weren't going far anyway, I was more than fine to drive. If I could ignore the uncomfortable sensation of my cock rubbing against the zipper of my jeans… I threw the car into drive.

"Yeah. All of the one's from you, at least."

Two left's, three right's, and a K-turn later, I had finally reached my damn destination. I forgot how fucking dark the middle-of-nowhere could be at night. Using the full power of my headlights hadn't done much to reveal more than a few feet in front of the Volvo.

My genius plan to take Bella on the hood or trunk was ruled out when I saw the multitude of bugs that were already fluttering around the lights. It would be better in summertime when we could go walking along the beach without freezing. There was a dirt path leading away from the clubhouse, I knew where it intersected with the main road. I had taken a quicker route. Instead of driving parallel to the ocean we had gone around grassland. The two paths forked off, one led down to a parking lot, the other brought me to a more secluded lot that was situated pretty far back from a cliff.

No one liked using it very much because salt from the ocean eroded car paint. Besides, most of the people that came to the beach didn't go to hike. There were trails leading from here, some people on the Res liked to cliff dive. I had done enough in my life that could have resulted in death, I didn't need to jump off a mountain to get an adrenaline rush.

"Nice view," Bella smiled.

"Glad you like it."

She turned the music down for a moment, we could hear the waves crashing against rocks. Turbulent tonight, I turned the car's engine off and relied on battery power so we'd have something other than nature for background noise.

"I fucking love this song!" She had identified it from the bass… I was beyond impressed.

Before I could answer, she gripped my shirt and made me face her. In pure reaction, I took hold of her hair at the nape of her neck and held her in place.

"I don't want slow," Bella said and bit her lip to keep from smiling.

She reached up and dug her nails into my arm. I got a better hold and held her back. She increased the pressure marginally, I couldn't help smiling evilly. Pain was not a deterrent, she could draw blood and I'd want her all the more.

Something inside me broke and snapped. I really didn't want to defeat her. Bella wasn't someone I wanted to dominate, at least not right now.

"Point to you." I let her go and she smiled in victory. Yeah, it was worth it to see her eyes light up with mischievous intent.

"Fuck! … shit!" Her teeth bit down hard into my neck, my hips bucked up forcefully into her twice before I got myself under control. If I were honest with myself, I stopped moving because she clamped her thighs to my side and held me in place. "Bella," I managed to growl.

"Shh," she let go for a second. "Not done yet."

"God_damnit_!"

She had licked across the other side of my throat before biting me again. Fucking… so fucking hot, amazing… I blinked and she was gone, having scurried back into the back she looked at me over the headrest.

"No retaliation, right?"

"Retaliation?"

"Edward-" She seemed to think my tone was because I'd been plotting. Not exactly. I was trying to remember what it felt like to breathe. Pleasurable pain was still reverberating through my body, starting at my neck it moved lower and made me feel a loss of control that was alien and surprising.

"Hmm?"

Torn between laughter and pretend fear, Bella wrapped both of her arms around the car's seat. She looked so-something. Not cute, definitely sexy, but with a touch of humor that made all of _this_ okay.

"Edward… don't!" She shrieked as I lunged over the middle console. I felt her smiling against my lips, absorbing her laughter was a strange sensation, one I had never experienced before. She moved backwards on the seat so I had more room. My knees were on either side of her, I was hunched over with my head an inch or two from the roof of my car.

I put one of my arms behind her neck so that she wasn't bent in such an awkward position. The Volvo was a great car, but there wasn't a lot of room to maneuver around. We'd worry about that in a minute. Fuck it all, I was going to have her, didn't matter how.

She kissed me again, rough and fast. It was my turn to laugh. Bella wanted me so fucking much, she could do anything the fuck she wanted. Her hands pulled at my shirt and I helped her with it's removal. Her quick intake of breath had me reaching for the button on my pants. She didn't want slow, I agreed whole heartedly.

We broke for air once and that was only because Bella wanted to be on top. One of my knees was against the back seat, my other foot rested on the ground. Once I was comfortably wedged in the corner, Bella didn't waste any time.

She had been kneeling with both of her hands palms down on the leather seats between her legs. Breathing heavily, lips red and swollen- oh my fuck. She helped lower my pants, I was really fucking happy in my decision to forego boxers. I pulled her hair again when it seemed she was going to give me a blow-job. Couldn't take it, I felt close already and I'd be damned if she didn't get off first.

Starting at my hip-bones, she moaned as her teeth nipped at my skin. Moving steadily upward, she left light hickeys over my ribs and chest. I let my head fall back and held my breath as she raised her skirt. It was going to be so _fucking good_. Fuck, fuck, she braced herself over me, I gripped the door-handle and grit my teeth.

"I wanted this," she panted, "all- fucking- _night_."

Her nails dug into my chest, she was so fucking wet I had no problem sliding into her.

"Yeeess," she hissed.

Moving experimentally, Bella looked frustrated for a moment when she realized she couldn't move up and down because of the low roof. I took one of her arms and pulled her so that she was lying on top of me instead of sitting upright.

She put her hand over mine on the door handle and braced the other on my shoulder. Yeah, this would work. Her heels dug into my thighs each time she rubbed herself against me. It felt really fucking good, and it helped me gather the shattered remnants of my self-control. Without deep penetration, I focused entirely on Bella and twisted my hips each time she lowered herself back down.

It'd never cease to amaze me, being inside of her shouldn't create feelings of calm. She moaned my name with a note of abject frustration in her tone. Apparently she didn't feel the same. I grabbed her hips and helped her move. Within minutes she was crying out in orgasm, the sound was so _relieved_ that I had to laugh.

"That, uh, that didn't do anything for you, did it…"

Her internal muscles clenched and released rhythmically, as Bella came she had pushed me deeper inside of her. Now that she had gotten off once my mind and body were fighting one another. It really wasn't fucking okay to let go, not yet.

"It was good," I bit her lightly where her throat and shoulder met.

She glared, looking down at me. "Just good?"

"Fantastic," I reiterated. Shit.

When she climbed off me I reached for her to drag her back. Settling herself carefully over the middle console between the two front seats, she laid back and spread her legs. Raising her eyebrow at me, it took me a second to realize she wasn't pissed.

I wedged one of my legs on the floor between the front and back seats, the other I kept where I had been sitting. Removing my pants entirely would take way too much time. I could work around the hindrance, Bella was waiting for me. For stability I wrapped an arm around the driver's side headrest, I gripped her right hip with my free hand. She raised herself slightly so I wouldn't need to change position. Her legs were on either side of me, having climaxed once she was more than ready for another one. I entered her slowly wanting to be sure that neither of us would fall.

"I'm okay," she reassured me while closing her eyes.

I remained still until her lashes fluttered open. Thrusting harder, I watched her bite her lip and grasp the steering wheel. She felt so fucking good, I moved shallowly until some of her sensitivity dulled. I brought her higher, then higher still. When she thrashed her head from one side to the other and snaked a hand down between us, I moved it out of the way and took over. My lower body was churning, craving release of my own. I needed something to distract me and feeling her clit under my fingers both helped and hurt.

It had been a really fucking long time. With all of the blow-jobs Bella had given me, this shouldn't be an issue. She was close, I could feel her muscles tensing, driving me to the edge. I felt perspiration beading on my forehead, all of the windows were fogged over.

Bella rested both of her elbows back onto the middle console and raised herself slightly. Her eyes were so dark, breathing quickly she made small noises each time I hit her g-spot. I moved up against her hard, she arched her back and fucking snarled. She rocked her hips sinuously as she came for the second time. I registered the sound, but my body moved for me preemptively. The car door creaked open, I turned to face the noise and block Bella from view at the same time. Hastily withdrawing from her, I checked all of the windows in the three seconds it took me to move. I couldn't see anyone, but that didn't mean they weren't hiding.

My right leg had fallen asleep. I climbed out of the car stumbling because I wasn't used to hobbling around like a drunkard. Cold air bombarded me, I kept my back to the cliff and kept the car in sight. No one was creeping up on me. If someone had followed us, I'd rip their fucking throat out. Their eyes, too, if they had been watching us.

"Edward," Bella laughed, "your pants…"

"What?"

I stamped my leg impatiently while waiting for the unsettling-as-fuck pins and needles feeling to go away. The buckles on the side of my pants had been tied tight enough that they didn't fall around my ankles. I re-did the button but didn't zip the fly. I was covered, that's all I was concerned with. There was no one here, if they were from the Res I'd smell the heavy scent of pot and alcohol in the air. Unless they had scurried under the car- nope.

Bella slid onto the backseat and unhooked my chain from the door handle. Oh. Fuck me. Talk about an adrenaline rush…

"Sorry about that." I rubbed one hand across my face. My own fucking fault, I had asked for a distraction. On the other hand, it felt really good to stretch out and not worry about hitting my head on the ceiling.

"You alright?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Crisis averted."

"Good," she leaned back on the seat and wrapped her legs around my waist. Without pulling me toward her, which could have been disastrous what with my height versus the car, she moved closer to the door.

Kissing me again, different than before- just as intense, but… new. This wasn't love-making, whatever the fuck people called it. When I attempted that, it wouldn't be in a fucking car.

"Thank you," she whispered against my lips.

"For interrupting your orgasm?"

"No," she wrapped her arms around my neck. "For watching out for me all the time."

"Uhh…" I didn't know what to say. It wasn't as though I had any say in the matter. She was my girlfriend- more than that. I fucking _loved_ her, of course my first instinct would be to make sure she was safe. What guy wouldn't do the same?

Instead of trying to gibber an answer, I let my body speak for me. I unzipped her corset at the back and reached behind her to find my leather jacket. I bunched it up so she'd have something to rest her head on. There was nothing worse than fucking and feeling nauseous afterward. Taking another second, I reached into one of the pockets and took out my second set of keys. I could have reached in the front, but that would mean that I'd have to leave her. Thank fuck for remote starters. The car started and I threw the key-chain onto the dash.

Kissing my way down her throat, across her collar-bone, I nipped at the swell of her breast before taking one of her nipples into my mouth. When I felt the car warming up, no need for us to freeze, I closed the door marginally with my leg.

Bella's fingers ran through my hair gently, she kept her eyes open as she watched me. I licked across her nipple with my tongue and then the three studs. I varied the speed until she moved her hips against me restlessly. After undoing my pants again, I repeated the same on her other side. Interruption aside, I still wanted her like hell. It would take a lot more than a door opening to kill my sex-drive. She withdrew my cock and helped me enter her again. Taking me in, she adjusted herself so I was buried completely within her.

In this position, me half in and out of the car, bent over awkwardly... nothing much would happen. She seemed to realize that, too. Taking a few steps back, I pulled her toward me slightly across the seat so that she'd be able to see my face, I didn't want to stare at the car's roof the entire time with her unable to see my upper body. I watched myself disappear into her and knew there'd be no stopping this time. Her skin seemed to glow in the darkness. Pale, and perfect, and so fucking soft… I had turned all of the lights off, the only source of illumination came from the moon.

With her hips raised, I went deep as I could go. There was no need to worry I'd hurt her, she liked it rough as I did. I lost track of time. Everything ceased to matter save for the incredible pleasure I was feeling. Mind-numbing, soul-shattering- shit, Bella was nowhere near orgasm. Without separating us, I drew her carefully toward me making sure not to hit her head on the car.

"Edward?"

"Don't worry, I've got you," I swore to her.

Having taken a few more steps backwards, Bella was now straddling me completely. Her entire body was pressed against mine, with her arms around my neck. As I supported her slight weight, she drew me closer. Every move she made- I had to take deep breaths to distract myself from how unbelievably tight she was.

"Ok." She clung to me though, I had forgotten she didn't like being picked up like this.

Easily rectified, I turned us around so she could brace against the car with her arms. She placed her feet on the seat around me without my having to say anything. When I thrust up into her she cried out my name. Her chest rubbed against mine, the shaft of my cock slid against her clit. It wasn't long before she moved her hands from the car to rest them on my shoulders. I felt pin-pricks of pain before she bent her elbows and laced her fingers behind my neck again. Absolute trust, her legs went around my waist as I moved harder and faster. She muffled her sounds by burying her face into my neck, I wanted her to bite down so- fucking- much…

"Do it," I sucked gently on her pulse-point without leaving a mark.

"I want-" she gasped, paused. Watching her eyelashes flutter had to be one of the fucking hottest things I'd ever seen. I raised her higher so that I could hit her g-spot each time I moved. "You've never… fuck, Edward!" She took a deep breath and struggled to continue speaking.

I really wanted to know what she had to say. If there was something else she wanted to try, I was ready for anything she wanted to suggest. It might have been cruel not to let up, but the challenge would bring her to greater heights. It would have for me, at any rate.

"Without pain," she said.

I stopped immediately, "I'm fucking hurting you?"

"No, no don't stop," she rocked her hips and leaned her head back on top of the car. "Please don't stop."

"Talk to me, babe," I shifted us so that I could put a hand underneath her head. "What did you want?"

"Each time you've gotten off… there's been pain involved." She raised herself back up so I could take her by the waist again. "Do you- can you- fuck it! Talk after, okay?"

More to think about later. With all of the blood pooling a lot lower than my head… jesus fuck, she was incredible. First adrenaline, then panic, it was all channeled and funneled into needing release. I gave her what she wanted. Within minutes she was writhing, pleading again.

When I felt her tense up it took everything I fucking had not to just let go. If I did, I'd miss the highlight of my fucking week. Month. Year? I was running out of time-frames to list. Now, soon- fuck yes, so very, very, fucking soon. Talk about a goddamn challenge.

"Bella…"

She fucking _screamed. _There was no one around for miles, I had made sure of that. Yet even I was stunned, that was one fuck of a reaction. That moment of sheer surprise- her heels dug into the back of my thighs, she slammed her hips against mine- a minute, two minutes… fuck… I saw her satisfied smile through a haze of urgency. I pulled out of her and stumbled backwards.

Bella fell on top of me, I barely twisted in time to keep us from hitting gravel, hard. She moved to the side afraid that she had hurt me in the fall. Reaching down, all it took was two hard strokes before I came. My back arched, the sounds I made couldn't have been human. All of the tension, stress, pressure, any negative feeling I'd ever had was released in waves of all-consuming… yes… dear fuck!

So completely drained, literally. This was a night of fucking first-time things. Never had I gotten off while wanting to laugh. Not at Bella, never, but because the intensity of her orgasm was- I had no words to explain. The world spun as I sat up. I was fucking defenseless, at least for the next five minutes. Strange how I really couldn't bring myself to care.

"C'mon," Bella groaned. "Exposed in the middle of nowhere, I know you hate that. We can get into the car, at least."

"You think so?"

"Another girlfriend thing," she grinned lazily. "You help me, I help you."

She put an arm across my shoulder and leaned down. I was good now, after tucking myself back into my pants, I used the ground to stand. She raised an eyebrow and smiled ruefully but didn't say anything.

"This summer, I'm renting us a hotel room. For a fucking week."

"Okay," Bella laughed. "I'll chip in a for a five-star, Jacuzzi in the room, room-service delivered with a smile, complete and utter pandering to our every whim room."

"Fuck one room," I scoffed. "I want a fucking… I don't know what they're called. The ones with a balcony and separate living room…"

"Like a pent-house?"

"Sure, we can upgrade. Why not?"

Before getting back into the car, I went around to the trunk of the car. Light-headedness, we should both probably eat something. Chocolate, both things of Little Debbie's- no time like the present to see what differences there were.

"You really are going to eat all of that food."

I closed the door behind us and spread out on the seat. Lying on my side, Bella had enough room to curl up next to me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder so she wouldn't fall off the side.

"Actually… no."

"Ok," she said when I paused. "_We're_ going to eat it all? And your family, of course."

"I might have exaggerated just a little bit."

"Three hundred dollars? That's not a _little_ exaggeration."

"Remember Alice mentioned a Halloween party? Normally, I'd have gone shopping on my own. Since we were already there… to avoid three hours with Esme and Ali debating over chips, I figured I'd get a head start."

"Good," Bella opened a package of cookies. "I was worried you'd go into a diabetic coma."

"So you're not pissed I used our, uh, what would you call it? Date time?"

"I guess?"

"To do personal shopping?"

"I have an episode of Gilmore Girls for you to watch," she handed me one.

Declining, I opened the store-made package. "Eat half and trade off?"

"Cool," she agreed. "Great idea, by the way."

"And you mentioned the lack of snack foods at our house…"

"I did not!"

"Okay, okay, fine. Sorry. You mentioned that you like to have something to eat before sleep. With all the stuff _we_ bought, we'll be stocked for the next few months."

"Long-term planning, huh?"

"… yup."

She handed me her half, after one last bite I gave her mine. Was there a difference? Hell yes, and it was a huge one.

**Authors End Note:**  
Shorter chapter, but there's still progression! And a lemon, which I hope everyone enjoyed! The episode of Gilmore Girls Bella references is set in Season 4: Episode 9. 'Ted Koppel's Big Night Out.' I didn't mean to steal their idea, it honestly didn't occur to me until the end of this chapter. If anyone has a problem… sorry, I guess. I do miss that show, though, it was a lot of fun.

**Authors End Note 2:  
LadyTx-**  
I had originally planned the fight to be with Jake… but for some reason, I can never make him a bad guy. Not a fan of his character, either, which really flips me out. Haha.

**AngelaSampedro99, san4jon, bookfreaklover, TwilighterMindBodyAndSoul, Bhekie, drkvctry, tina062093, tinkerbell, 1dreamkeeper, acw1, TwiSagaLover, angel04une, DodgerMcClure, Xx-Twilght-lover-xX, BandWhore2011, Simply-useless, -  
**I am sorry that I'm not able to write to all of you individually. I love hearing from everyone and I deeply appreciate the reviews and comments you leave! Thank you very, very much! I do read everything you say and smile, laugh, think… thanks again, guys!

**MyEdwadJacob-  
**I actually had to save his real reaction for the next chapter or two. Edward, who is prone to compartmentalizing, won't feel the emotions he should until then, haha. It makes sense to me, at least… I hope everyone understands.  
I hope I've managed to answer your question in this chapter. The one where you asked why a Cullen being on the Res is such a huge deal. I'm sure Bella harbors resentment, too, but considering she went hoping to make new friends- so to speak- one outburst seemed like enough?  
Thank you for the amazing review! All of your questions were great, thanks for asking them!

**VAVikingGirl-  
**Thanks! That's how I feel, though I wish there was more time to write. I'm tired of writing in note-books, having them sit in my bag for days instead of being able to type them up! Gah!

**Jansails-  
**Thank you, Jan! I'm glad you liked the Res Scene so much!

**Dazzleglo-  
**Bella's chapter is up next and there will definitely be some Alice time! I'm hoping it'll be a pretty long and easy-to-write chapter… it's been twelve days, I believe! Oh man, I've been losing it a little. Haha, it bothers me when I can't write.  
Thanks again for the Charlie support! I hadn't intended him to be such a big character and, well, … yeah. I'm not disappointed or anything with the way things turned out, more amused than anything else.  
I keep learning new things about Edward. When I get back into Alice's head, I'll probably credit a lot to her influence. It should be fun/angsty at the same time, if that's possible?  
And I wrestled with the idea of Edward joining the gang temporarily just to show some of his prior experiences. It wouldn't work, at least in my mind. Too much explaining, he'd be in pain all the time… there are other ways to have Edward be badass, =D.

**Cat5050-  
**It's alright, pays most of the bills, haha. Sorry I didn't add a picture! Robert Pattinson, to my knowledge, has never worn them somewhere a person could get a pic. Unfortunate, really, it'd be super hot. Hope you like the lemon in this chapter! It dominated most of this chapter, I tried to vary from the 'sex in a car' scenario.

**Parkesy23-  
**Yay! I love writing back to reviews. It takes awhile, yes, but I want to be sure I respond properly. You all take the time to leave comments and questions, I try to address all of them- if not in the End Note, in one of the chapters. =D. I posted the first four chapters of this story and didn't have much feedback- then, within a few weeks, people slowly started filtering in. And now… so amazed, =).

**Heavyinfinity-  
**=D, glad you liked Bella Defense! I actually went back and filtered out some of the profanity. She likes saying 'fuck,' hahaha. Thanks for your enthusiasm, I'm glad Edward and Bella cause happy reactions! I hope this chapter does, too!

**Tghb-  
**Thanks very much! Paul always annoyed me in the books, I take vicious satisfaction in kicking his ass. Wish I could say the same for Jake… but deep down I guess I've always felt bad for him. It sucks to love someone who loves a different person, right? So now he's powerful with a lot of girls all over the place … yay.  
I actually don't know when Jake's making a return. Unless by J you meant Jasper? And then, yes, I completely agree!  
There's been so many interruptions for Edward and Bella, I'm hoping to get some alone time for them. Nice, calm- maybe a little conversation… no parental worries, etc. And then there's the dance which should be fun!

**LadyChery-  
**I've got fights and plot-twists coming up, no worries! Not sure if Rosalie will make it to Forks, but she'll probably make herself heard soon! The allies, I think, were just for Bella and Edward's peace of mind. They're always preparing for a worst-case scenario so it made sense for them to work things out with Jake.  
Thanks for all of your comments, especially the questions. They help spark creativity and I'm always grateful for that!

**Karen4honor-  
**I don't think Jake meant for Paul to be such an asshat. Sam and Jake seemed surprised by it- they could have intervened, that would have been nice… but business first? The Treaty Idea, I borrowed that from the books and movies. And, in real life, there is a treaty with the Quileute people! I googled it, haha. It doesn't exactly apply within this fan fiction, but cool nonetheless!

**Sarix Angel-**  
I constantly hear Bella and Edward while I'm working. Distractions all over the place, I'm happy. I actually worried I'd stop hearing them, =/.  
White chocolate makes me giddy, caffeine too… tons of energy and happiness. Dark chocolate is good- and good for you!  
I'll send you a PM regarding the job talk. Not sure if you'd want me to post that for everyone to read? Thanks and I'll be talking to you soon! If you want to talk on AIM I'm: Firestarblake21. =).

**Andreacf77-  
**Thank you! I wanted to make Edward a little more realistic. He can't be badass and take-charge all the time, I guess. So much fun to write either way, I like both POV's equally- no favoritism. ^_^. I'll answer your Paul question next chapter, I've been wondering that. Lauren and Jess, too. Thanks again, Andreacf77!

**Ageise02-  
**I'm happy you're liking the story! Thanks for all of your reviews! That you don't normally read AH fanfic and still like this one- wow, thank you!  
I'm glad you're able to relate, I think… good author-wise, =). I'd say we're about half-way through the story. I haven't gotten very much into Bella's past yet, there's a lot to go through. Rose and Emmett haven't shown up again, I want there to be more with Alice and Jasper. Yeah, I'm confident in saying fifty-percent. Sad to think about, for me, but thirty-three chapters isn't too bad, right?

**Kitasky123-  
**Thanks! Hooray!

**Amethice-  
**I really enjoy writing that aspect of Edward POV. Bella's more about feelings and how they relate with Edward. She's good at rationally judging a situation whereas Edward is very in-the-moment, deal with consequences later. It's easier now to balance them out. Phrasing is still a problem, I don't want her to be shrewish or domineering, yet I don't want Edward to be the stereotypical 'my way or the highway' type of guy.  
Progression is needed, of course, but I don't want them- in the end- to be completely different from where the story started. I like their edginess and passion! Becoming comfortable with one another aside, I still try to create new situations where their Old and New sides… work.

**Les16-  
**Awesome! Thank you so much! Your reviews are incredible, I can't say enough… =D!  
I like guys like Edward, it doesn't bother me at all that people are attracted to his protective qualities. I just figure, if I were a guy and had a girl that I loved- how would I show my appreciation for her, you know? And his awkward relationship moments are really fun to write because it's how I feel someone like Edward would… he's still learning, and on a different level than anything he's experienced… tragedy and success all in one?  
I also figure _some_ of his protective instincts come from being around Alice. With her being small and delicate, Edward's pretty solid and tall, it'd be natural for him to treat Bella the same way because he's been around Alice for so long? Not saying that Bella's like a sister- but he values both of them equally and in different ways.  
I'm doing an awful job of explaining, my apologies. =).  
Thank you, thank you! Les16- you're fantastic!

**Ccaajjaa-  
**You bring up very good points, all of them true! And yes, bringing a boyfriend home to meet parents is, and always will be, stressful as hell. I'm not nearly as good at keeping conversation going like Bella. Head-nodding and awkward silences are all over the place. =P.  
There were small boxes I managed to write myself into all over the place. Charlies friendship with Billy, as you mentioned. Bella's friendship with Jake, the entire gang being present on the Res. I needed to bring Leah in as filler, haha.

**Ethans mom- **Wow, thank you! I'm glad you like the story so much and thanks very much for reviewing! If you liked this one, I recommend **Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Inked, The Red Line**- if you're into slash at all there's a fantastic story called **Marked. Wide Awake**, too, I'll think of more and get back to you. =D.  
Thank you again for the deep insights and I hope to hear from you again in the future!

**(**Someone left an anonymous review. Either that or fanfic didn't post a screen name…**)**- Whomever you are, the review is dated **2010-07-08...**  
I hope I've managed to clear up a little about Sam, at least Edward's take on him. Sam is an interesting character to me. The quiet, take-charge, no bullshit type that does that needs to be done for people he cares about. Sort-of like Edward, but not as open-minded.  
I'll explain more in the next chapter why Edward was so willing to stay. And yes, everyone waited for the lemon… hope it was worth it!


	34. Black Hearts On Fire

**Chapter 34  
- Black Hearts On Fire**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:  
Edward- **http:/media(dot)photobucket(dot)com/image/robert%20pattinson-%20black%20and%20white/RobsessedBLOG/Corrina/5110_110035134704_792489704_2022735(dot)jpg

**Playlist**  
http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes- **Panic! At the Disco  
**I Feel You- **3 Doors Down  
**Cold Hard Bitch- **Jet  
**Black Hearts (On Fire)- **Jet  
**Handlebars- **Flobots

**Bella's Point of View**

It shouldn't have surprised me. Long-term planning, indeed. We had taken that step awhile ago. Back when Edward told me we were going to a beach via text-message. We were near an ocean, did that count? We still had about two hours before I needed to be home. I was incredibly thankful for that, after our hour and a half long marathon… I wouldn't be moving for awhile. It was too comfortable lying with Edward in the Volvo. I'd never see his car the same again.

"What did you mean," Edward paused awkwardly.

This wasn't one of his 'fill in the rest for me' pauses. I turned slightly so there was a clear view of his eyes. Blue and thoughtful, dark, pensive- this was going to be one hell of a conversation. Old me would have been freaking out, wondering if he was going to break up with me.

New and improved me on the other hand? We were eating cookies in the backseat of his car. Edward nearly had a conniption when I put my feet on his dashboard a few months ago. Now there were crumbs on the seat, more than the heels of my shoes had been all over the interior leather.

"You said something while we were…, uh,-"

He had the same problem; with all of the times he said 'fuck' or 'fucking.' Edward hesitated now? I had no doubt that sex with me meant something to him. That hadn't been a doubt since the first time we hooked up.

"Going at it like nymphos?"

"Yeah," he crooked grinned at me. "You mentioned pain?"

"Mmhhmm." Why did he need to have such a great fucking memory? Or, more accurately, why did I need to be ask so many questions? Curiosity be damned! Had I learned nothing in all of this time?

"Well? We established that you didn't speak up because I was hurting you," he paused lethally. "And you'd better not have fucking hid that from me. Is that why you're lying here? Can you-"

"Edward, I didn't lie. I'm here because it's more comfortable than trying this position in the front seat. Also, you brought food," I smiled cheekily. "Who doesn't love room, er, car service?"

"Yeah?" He snorted, "You can get your own damn food from now on. Fucking feisty as hell."

"I'm telling Esme you said it's okay," I grinned triumphantly. "Finally! She never lets me help, now I have your approval."

"I have one word for you."

"What word would that be?"

"Evading," he rolled his eyes.

"I can't talk about the other subject now. We can't talk about your parents and then go to sex."

"Why not? We were talking about sex and you brought up Esme."

"Edward!" I must still be high. Wracking my mind, I couldn't find any loopholes in his argument. It was so asinine, a whim that he wouldn't let go.

"I fucking _love it _when you scream my name," he laughed as I glared.

What were the odds that he'd keep badgering me until I gave in? Inordinately high. In comparison, the odds that I could infinitely distract him from knowing the truth… non-existent. I was no Scheherazade, I'd be lucky to stall past tonight let alone a thousand and one of them.

"Alright," I gave in. "You want the truth?"

"Fifteen minutes ago."

"Keep being an ass."

"Sorry," he said, amused, while lighting a cigarette.

Red flame, intensity. Edward inhaled, the fire extinguished, his eyes closed- I forgot what we had been talking about. One of his eyes opened and studied me carefully, so fucking sexy. Lighting a cigarette, could he do anything without turning me on?

"Are you okay? I was lighting one for you, y'know? Staring at it like there's salvation in every nicotine-filled drag," he chuckled. "Like when you moaned at the first hit of pot when we first met…"

"Er, thanks," I blushed so hard that it wouldn't have surprised me to feel light-headed. It wasn't the cigarette that I'd been staring at. No need to tell him that. Let him think I was a cigarette junkie.

"Anytime, babe." He lit one for himself and I studiously refrained from staring at him like a loon again. "C'mon, it can't be that bad. We've talked about almost everything else when it comes to sex."

"Oh, right. Uh… well, you remember that night in the bathroom? You were in a lot of pain to begin with, and then when you came, you rammed your already bleeding knuckles down onto the tiles."

"I do that often," he agreed. "Not just on tile flooring. It bothers you? And of course I fucking remember."

"No, I wouldn't say it _bothers_ me. Just- I don't know- do you _need_ the extra pain? I was thinking back, the night you wanted me to bite your chest. Remember that? And how- of my own volition, of course,- I bite you and it sparks your, uh… release."

"You didn't tonight, right?"

"True. Though you did hit the gravel pretty hard."

"That wasn't hard. My cock was hard," he laughed. "The ground was a surprise, that's all. I was more worried about us falling into the car. We'd smash our heads into metal, I definitely wouldn't get off… bad scene."

"You thought about all of that before we hit the ground?"

"Yes? And 'fuck,' 'hot', 'tight, wet, Bella,' and a combination of those words together."

"Pot, sex, and fighting. Fulfill all of those needs and Edward Cullen's a world-class charmer."

"I can be fucking charming," he grinned, "all the time."

"Now whose evading?"

"You haven't made a point yet."

"I did ask: Does sex not appeal to you unless there's some sort of pain involved? I'm not complaining, don't take it that way. I really don't want anything to change. I told you it wasn't worth time talking about."

"It is," he mused. "I'm trying to answer your question honestly. It was good one."

For a moment I thought he was fucking around with me again. His expression remained serious, he absently flicked ashes through the window.

"I… don't know. I've never-" he glanced down at me quickly before looking away.

"Had it any other way?"

"In a fucking twisted nutshell."

"I'm not judging," I emphasized. "I haven't, either. You've seen that I have no problems marking, biting, or clawing you."

"I noticed," he smiled. "And I really, really don't object."

"Good," I said, satisfied. "… we're good here, no? End of discussion, we've settled things?"

"Nope," he moved us both to a sitting position and pointed at the car's clock.

We had forty minutes to get out of here if I were to be home on time. My first parentally accepted date with Edward, I couldn't break curfew. All I had to do was re-zip my corset and put my jacket back on. Done, a minute down. Edward got into the driver's side and waited until I had my seatbelt on to tear out of the lot. I gathered the empty food wrappers and put them into one of the grocery bags. Tissues I'd given Edward went into the trash, too.

"There's Febreeze under the seat," he said. "Douse yourself with it and then spray once with the Axe."

"Smart. Nicely planned!"

"Tried and true," Edward smiled. "We didn't smoke up in the car or I'd ask you to take care of the backseats for me, too. Works every time."

"I'll help you wash the car, promise. Not because I owe you," I sighed at him. "It'd be fun. Memories and- hey, I'll wear a white tank-top and shorts if you want."

"In the winter?"

Right. I had just put on a down-filled jacket. "In the summer, after we hit the beach. You thought I meant now?" _Believe it. I use my womanly powers of girlfriend manipulation to make you answer 'no.' _It would work. I had a feeling. Me and my feminine side were well in touch.

"Yes, that's exactly what you meant."

"Think again," I scoffed. Damnit. "Anyway. Why wasn't the conversation done?"

"It doesn't feel like it is," he shrugged. "What else do we have going on?"

"I need to be in my bedroom within the next… thirty minutes."

"Leave your window unlocked?"

"If you get caught…"

I couldn't imagine the shade of red Charlie's face would turn. The mental image was of him walking in with Edward and I fully clothed. He'd probably have a heart-attack if we were in any other state. No wonder Edward always insisted we use his room. It was safer. His door had two locks compared to my faulty one. The only extra three seconds I got were because the door had a tendency to stick.

"I used to break in and out of houses all the time. Charlie won't know I'm there. Your call, though."

"Sure. I trust you. When do _you_ need to be home?"

"Two at the latest. They know I like to go driving when I can't sleep. It's not as necessary anymore, but the curfew hasn't changed," he lit another cigarette. "Its… nice, you know?"

"To have a set time when you'll be expected back? Knowing that people are waiting for you?"

".. yeah. You understand that best, sorry."

"Don't be. It's different now for us, that's what we're focusing on. No contest."

"Eternal optimism," Edward shook his head.

"We need to look up the exact definition for the word optimism."

"I refuse to rescind my statement. Yeah, you're a little sarcastic. But instead of phrasing it another way, you and Alice look for possible solutions no matter how bad a situation. Optimistic and hopeful."

"While jumping to worst-case scenarios and mentally envisioning our deaths in a multitude of ways?" I paused, "See? Did it again. Went straight to dying, the best example I can think of."

"I do that, too," Edward laughed. "Fine, we're both _dreadfully _optimistic, how about that?"

"You're still high, aren't you? I think I am. Whatever Jake gave us has residual after-effects."

"Agreed. I realized that awhile ago. When I had the panic moment and still felt stoned afterward, yeah, I knew Jake would go above and beyond normal quality."

"You can climb the tree high without falling or hurting yourself?"

"I could pick the lock on your window, too."

"Comforting," I meant it. "See ya soon."

"I'm going to take a shower, change a little bit. I'll be back when Charlie's sleeping. Don't try to stay awake, though," he added. "If you're tired and fall asleep, it's no big deal."

"Riigght. Seriously, be careful. It worries me when you drive high, bad things could happen."

"Not a good time to tell you I used to drive drunk, fucked up, and high?"

"Do you still?"

"No. Not in a long time."

"Then it's not a bad time," I kissed him quickly in case Charlie was watching.

Only the den light was on. I'd walk in, spend ten minutes or so with him, he'd excuse himself to bed and I'd take a shower. Then I'd curl up in bed with a book, some good music, a cigarette or two… my window would be open and I'd be wearing something casual and cute.

I hoped Edward was sincere when he said we were going to rent a hotel suite. All of this sneaking around was getting dangerous. I was thankful that Charlie was lenient as he was, but it'd be nice to show Edward how fun I could be without part of me fearing that we'd be interrupted or discovered.

**o . o . o**

An hour and a half later I was curled up under my covers with one of Edward's books. My hair smelled like papaya and I used my mango lip-gloss because he really seemed to like it a lot. Wearing cut-off shorts and one of his t-shirts, I had succeeded in my casual and cute look.

Axe, forest, and cigarettes. I looked up in time to see Edward step through my window. He balanced like a cat and made no sound as he walked across the floor. Form-fitting jeans, a t-shirt, boots, all in black.

"Hi," I whispered. "Where'd you park?"

"Took the bike," he kissed me hello. "Hid it in the woods half a mile from here. Did you hear anything?"

I remembered the faint sound of a motor, but nothing that would raise any red flags. Charlie's snoring could occasionally be heard over my music. We were different in that regard. I slept light, unless I was around Edward. The smallest sound could wake me, it was no problem waking up to my alarm. At least I wasn't jumping out of bed anymore in the mornings. The resulting headache had gotten really old very quickly.

"You traipsed half a mile through the woods to scale a tree just so we could finish our conversation?"

"Yes and no," he grinned. "I wanted to spend more time with you and this was the only option. When you graduate, if you stick around- think Charlie will keep your curfew the same?"

"Probably not, I'm hoping curfew will disappear altogether. I'll have to get a job, though. I've got enough money for college or an apartment, not both."

"Yes, but-"

I interrupted by motioning him over. Edward's courteousness would have him standing by the window all night. He raised an eyebrow mischievously at the prospect of us being on an actual bed, but when he settled himself on top of my covers there was room between us.

"No way, Edward. I know you're going to say something like: 'I've got plenty of cash. Don't worry about it.'"

"I don't sound like that," he snorted.

"Do you deny it?"

"… no."

"But?"

"I don't understand why this is such a huge deal. What else am I going to do with it? You realize, I could help put the down payment on an apartment and pay up full for the next year? You wouldn't have to worry about making rent. It'd be so much simpler if you'd let me help."

"No, thanks."

"And then you could focus all of your time on getting the Psychology degree or whatever you want to study. No scrounging for fucking change-"

"I'm not going to be destitute, you know."

"Or buying fucking Ramen."

"I like Ramen."

"Don't even talk to me about it," he leveled a warning glare in my direction. "Besides… if I helped out, I could always crash with you now and then. You know, if you'd be cool with that."

I reached a mental road-block. The last time I had interjected thoughts for Edward, I had been utterly wrong. It still made me flush to thinking about it. Back when I thought he was going to say, 'Bella… I think… I love you.' What I got was, '… I agree.' However, the three words had been exchanged shortly thereafter. Maybe my intuition level was a little out of whack.

"You make it sound like I'm going to break up with you once school ends. Don't you think we should get through winter before worrying about what's going to happen in summer? We've got three seasons left."

"We've already made long-term plans," he pointed out logically. "So I had assumed we'd still be together. Why not?"

"It was your tone…"

"I didn't want to freak you out or anything," he explained. "Moving in together, it's really soon to be talking about huge steps like that. So I introduced it casually in order to gauge your reaction."

"And your verdict?"

"Could have been better."

"Excuse you," I scoffed.

I couldn't be angry with him. There was absolutely nothing to be upset about. Hadn't I displayed similar behavior? Instead of asking him, directly, what he thought of something… I went off the deep end and found ways to keep from being rejected outright. Edward's experience with relationships was a lot more fucked up than mine. He was trying to be nice and I was throwing everything back at him. There were a lot of things I was willing to sacrifice in order to keep him, not that he asked it of me, but living in an apartment he paid for while contributing nothing- I couldn't have that.

"You've thought about moving in with me?"

"Every time we're interrupted," he snorted. "I'm incredibly grateful for everything Carlisle and Esme have done for me, don't get me wrong. Yet that night everyone got home and we had to fumble around under the covers to keep from being heard- jesus fucking christ. Thought I was going to lose it."

If I had just heard his voice, I'd probably think that he wanted to live with me just so we could fuck all the time without fear of anyone walking in. There was genuine sincerity in his eyes, he was nervous, too. That wasn't the only reason, it was a nice loop-hole for him mentioning the easiest and leaving the rest out.

"I've never thought about living alone with anyone but Alice. Then again, whenever I think of the future, I know she'll be part of it. She always has been, it seems. Whatever happened before she came around was just a dream. It happened but it can't bother me anymore."

… sure. The incident with PCP told a different story, but I wasn't about to rip that proverbial band aid off. He had compartmentalized so many things, Edward had justification for the inhumane way people had acted toward him.

I couldn't begin to find a way to explain the difference to him. Even then, I was one-hundred percent positive that my biases were keeping me from seeing the whole truth. If we ever landed in court, I'd like lie hell for him. I'd try to take the blame for everything, provided the evidence wasn't irrefutable, but it was better to keep that Ace up my sleeve. Edward would flip the fuck out and try to keep us from going anywhere should he find out the lengths I was prepared to go in order to keep him safe.

So long as we stayed in Forks, we'd be fine. Another dream, I never expected a simple move to spark such an amazing turn of events. Single-for-life Bella Swan had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who had eaten dinner with Charlie, Chief of Police, despite having a lengthy criminal record. Go fucking figure.

"It's so simple when you put it that way."

"Yeah, I've long since realized that… Having met you, being in a real relationship with you, it's worth any pain that follows. You remember the promise I made you make?"

"No," I hedged. "I remember the promise we made one another were we to ever split."

"You know what I meant."

"I don't want you taking all the blame if something happens, okay? You think I don't know you well by now. You'll probably hate me for a few months. The next few you'll spend going over our relationship, what went right and wrong. Then you'll find a way to blame yourself for everything."

"That your process?"

"Yep."

"Oh." He shook his head at me in exasperation. "Just take the fucking money."

"No. But thank you, really."

"What if I were to ask you about moving in with me? Would your answer still be the same?"

"Would we be going to the same school?"

"Presumably."

"And-"

"Oh my god," he threw an arm over his face and pretended to smother himself with one of my pillows. Charlie snored loudly and it made me laugh quietly. We had some really twisted conversations around midnight.

"You said yourself, it's a really big decision."

He lowered the pillow, "Mhmm..."

"There are a lot of factors at hand, you know. What if we're not accepted into the same school? If you want to get a medical degree, you're going to want a specialized university. I don't think Forks Community College is going to offer the education you're seeking."

"Forks Community College? There are more prestigious schools in Washington, I guarantee it. Psychology and being a surgeon, they're relatively close."

"Yeah, okay."

"Bella, for the love of… I don't know. If I asked you, right now, without delay- move in with me. Your answer would be?"

"I'm paying half of the rent and utilities. In other words, sure."

"Fuckin' finally," he sighed in relief. "That's all you needed to say. I wouldn't leave you without a place to live, you do know that, right?"

"Um, yeah. It didn't occur to me that you'd kick me out with no warning. My name would be on the lease, too."

"Good. So if this happens, all we need to worry about are minor details."

"Like actually applying to the colleges? Waiting to see if we're accepted? Finding an affordable place that's close to where we'll be going? I'll apply for financial aid, see what happens from there. Moving, we're going to need-"

"Ha," Edward looked smug in a non-condescending way. "Got you to contemplate the idea, at least."

"You-"

"Yeah, I did."

"That was-"

"I know."

"Dirt bag," I glared at him.

"All's fair in love and war, you agreed with the sentiment."

"You should consider being a lawyer. You'd win every case they ever gave you."

That really wasn't a bad idea now that I thought about it. Edward would excel with his take-charge, no margin for error attitude. He could be every bit as lethal with words as he was when it came to physical fighting. If he were in a court-room and had a challenging case, he'd be ruthless.

"I don't think they'd want an ex-con defending them."

"Seven year stature of limitation."

"Bella, some of the things I've done weren't misdemeanors. I doubt they're going away anytime soon."

"Surgeon? They'd do more of a background check for that profession, no?"

"Probably, but I have my contacts. Through Carlisle and Esme, I've met several influential people within the field. I wouldn't ask for handouts or anything, but they could vouch for me if I get my degree and there's an open position somewhere. It's not exactly 'playing the game.'"

"Dirty fighting," I smiled at him. "You go straight to the core of a problem."

"Accidentally," he pointed out. "I took over because Carlisle was letting people get away without paying for favors he did. Esme, too. All of the charity work they've done, they get tax rebates or whatever. Nothing from the actual causes and people they help."

"Isn't that the point of charity work?"

"Please," he stared at me in disbelief. "You really believe that?"

"Charity… handouts, kindness, you know there's an organization called GoodWill, right?"

"And if you're a donor, and you give a lot of money regularly, along with other people who also have a lot of money. Carlisle and Esme are in the medical field. In New York, they had people ask for them specifically."

"That's pretty impressive."

"Exactly. Now that we're in the middle of nowhere, those people still call for Carlisle. They're prepared to do a lot if Carlisle were to look over a medical chart for them or someone they're close with. Carlisle does, of course, because he's a good fucking guy. And he did this for years because the person asking was involved in the same charities the Cullens were. See?"

"Not exactly. Basically, Carlisle worked for free and… now he doesn't?"

"Sort-of. Only because it hadn't occurred to him that there was profit to be made."

"Within a charitable organization?"

"That's the front."

Edward went quiet, I assumed because he was trying to gather his thoughts in way that would make sense to me. I had a basic idea of what he was trying to say, but it was all very confusing. Aside from dropping change into Santa's baskets, buying girl scout cookies, and giving quarters to random strangers who held out a coffee cup… I had never been involved with any formal charities.

The term 'non profit organization' was something I had heard often. It had nothing to do with me until now. I wished I'd paid more attention to some of the pamphlets that came to our house under Renee's name.

"Okay," he took a deep breath. "Let me try to explain this way. There are a bunch of rich people all giving their money freely to a cause. They get together for the yearly picnic or whatever the hell event is staged. There, people network and form social connections with others in a similar financial state."

"That makes sense."

"For instance, you know the televisions that are all over our house?"

"Yeah."

"Carlisle looked over the case for one of Sony's managers. Executive level, you know? A few months later I, Carlisle, got a call from him saying that some televisions were going to be recalled due to faulty… something. Having ascertained that nothing was actually wrong with the equipment, we got three of them at incredibly discounted prices just for having known the guy."

"I think I understand now."

"Exactly. Different professions, different people. They have our back, we have theirs. It's all very civil and legal, no one partakes in insider trading or anything. We're not running a black market, undercover gig. Carlisle gets to be the good guy and help people in need and, when we need a favor, those people are happy to repay in a logical and mutually beneficial way. In a way that's good for the family, not just me."

"Wow. Who else do you know?"

"A few lawyers, a contractor, several people in medical fields. An insurance agent, a tax broker, an executive at a car company, someone who designs model homes. We're covered on all bases when it comes to our house, health, and the vehicles we drive."

I couldn't help thinking about a real future with Edward. He was so good at protecting the people he loved. Was it so much for him to ask that I allow him to do the same for me? It's what most people wanted, right? A guy who would, happily, make a lot of money to support the female. He'd work his ass off while I tottered off to school without a care in the world. No student loans, no worrying about debt… who in their right mind would turn the offer down? I knew he would try and take care of the down payment on an apartment himself.

Once Edward loved someone, it became his mission in life to make their lives easier. As he had said, house and health and vehicles, the main priorities in Edward's life. He had added sex and fighting to his list for me. I was the same way, which was the root of our problem. For Carlisle and Esme, he had set his mind to making contacts for them. There was no better thing to have in a profession like theirs. He protected them by making sure that they could obtain everything they'd want, nearly free, with favors stored up by him for their use. For Alice, there were so many examples…

"Why did we stay at Jake's?"

"On the Res?" He looked confused, "You didn't want to?"

"After the fight, when I was getting ready to go, you sat down on the couch and _smoked_ with Jake."

"Yeah…"

"You didn't like him before we got there. What changed?"

"I didn't trust him," Edward said. "Whether I liked him or not was irrelevant, y'know?"

"When you mentioned his name, you told me your gun was still in the closet. Those thoughts coincide? Jake, and then 'I need my gun.'"

"If we had left right after the fight, I'm pretty sure all of them would have gotten together, smoked up or worse, and I didn't want to give them a chance to plot some sort of revenge. If Paul managed to change their minds and they decided to back him because he's part of their gang… it wouldn't be good for us."

I should have known a simple change of heart wasn't the case. Ulterior motives again, always with Edward.

"So I stayed and showed some trust on my part to gain Jake's. Sam might respect me, but his loyalty is with Jacob and gang decisions. The rest do what their told. You saw the way they kept asking me, us, to join them. Paul's attack tonight was annoying. They, in their way, apologized to us and finalized the matter."

"So whenever they think back to what happened, they'll remember how cool we were about it- when we were their guests- and Paul will always be wrong?"

"That's why I didn't rip him the fuck apart. They'll keep him in line. Or I'll kill him," Edward shrugged. "Doesn't matter right now."

He would. His eyes were fading to gray, he stared at my comforter with an uncomfortable tension. It really was that easy for him, whether Paul was alive or dead didn't matter to him now his family had been threatened. Scary, amazing… both, I had no idea.

I put my hand on his shoulder. He immediately looked up at me, the lethal glint faded. I put my lips against his and ran my tongue along his piercings. He opened his mouth slightly and deepened the kiss. Knowing that we couldn't go too far, he pulled away gently shortly after we had started. Mission accomplished, nonetheless. I had really wanted to kiss him, first. And second, he wasn't on his way to kill-zone anymore.

"You planned all of that prior to the fight?"

"No," he nibbled on my jaw. "It kinda just happened that way."

"Lucky."

"Opportunistic," he grinned.

"Promise me we'll talk about this again when we're not so… tired. We cant just decide to get a place together."

"Why not? You persist in thinking we're poor. Or maybe it's me. I've moved so many different places, if I move to another one, at least this time I'll have somewhere to return. It's… nice, but that doesn't mean that I'll stay here forever."

"I understand that. And I know we're not poor."

"So if you get bored or need to transfer schools, if something happens between us, if you get a job somewhere else- we can easily break the lease and find somewhere new. We can pick up and go. No strings attached, financially."

"Okay, I agree with what you're saying. And I don't want you to go on some sort of rampage… you know, disappear for two weeks and come back with bags of cash."

"Uh huh…" he had narrowed his eyes with one eyebrow raised. That was new, I liked it.

"We might have a lot saved up, but we don't have a never-ending supply of it. With rent at nine hundred, let's say, that's… what….?"

"Twelve thousand or so a year?"

"And college tuition for the both of us?"

"Carlisle's probably going to insist on paying for that," Edward sighed heavily. "And, if it happens, with his money on the line I won't fuck things up."

"Charlie will want to, but I've got money saved specifically for that reason. And I can easily get more, he works hard for what he's saved."

"You never fucking-"

"Let people help me. I know," I dismissed it. "Anyway, we're going to run out eventually. Especially with living expenses? Taxes?"

"I have job history. The economy is terrible right now, everyone's excused when it comes to unemployment."

"You're missing what I'm trying to say."

"You under exaggerate how much I have, and can get."

"Leave and arrive as we please, everything paid in full, not worrying about bills. That doesn't seem right to me. There's a bad side somewhere, nothing's that easy."

"We'd be living together," Edward laughed. "Twenty-four seven, no other people as distraction. Fending for ourselves… cooking?"

"Yeah, that'll be my thing."

"See? That's your contribution. Good, right?"

"Did you seriously just suggest that I cook for you all of the time?" I leaned up on my elbow to glare at him. "Go to school, make meals for you, the fact that you're paying for everything doesn't matter because I make a kick-ass steak?"

"No," Edward put a pillow between us carefully before crooked-grinning. "I grill, remember? Your pie was kick-ass."

I punched the pillow.

My doorknob jiggled. Edward and I stared at one another in horror. I pulled the covers up and Edward literally leapt at the window. The wood creaked as Dad pushed at the door to open it. I rearranged my pillows and moved to the center of the bed. One last push, Edward was out the window, Charlie was standing in the doorway.

"Much as I love hearing about your plans for marital bliss," Charlie yawned. "It's early and I need to be up early. Edward, get out of the damn tree. We have a door. Use it."

"Uh…" I couldn't see him anywhere. Not having heard a sickening thud, I assumed he had scaled it without hurting himself. "Dad?"

"Sorry, Chief," Edward came back through the window slowly.

"If ya'll want to talk after curfew, I don't have a problem with it. Bells, you never sleep to begin with," he yawned again. "I do. Do your _talking_ downstairs."

"Sorry, Dad."

"Yeah, yeah. Knew it would happen eventually; your window's always open when you're home. You have two minutes to say goodnight before I come back in here with my shotgun," he put his hand on the doorknob. "Drive safe, Edward. Use the goddamned driveway next time, too. I had it paved for a reason."

I smiled when I heard him mutter, 'damn teenagers,' as he shut the door to his room.

"So, um… good night?"

Edward closed and locked my window. "Yeah, that sums it up."

I got up to give him a hug. He was cold from having been outside, he smelled like pine trees. Lowering his head, Edward bit my neck gently. His cheek was cold, too, the buckles on his jacket colder, yet his mouth was warm.

"Sleep well, Bella."

He held up his cell-phone to let me know we'd be talking silently.

"Don't text and drive the bike at the same time," I whispered in his ear.

"I won't."

"And be careful in the woods. Is your bike safe there?"

"Of course. If they picked the lock, they'll get a surprise if they try to drive it."

"Surprise?"

"Mobile Lock," Edward smiled darkly. "It's a GPS locator and anti-theft device all in one. No one steals my shit."

"Ok… I ask out of habit. Saying yes would suffice, really."

"You asked for elaboration."

I searched through my jacket until I located the keys. There had just been a rabid bear on the loose, having Edward traipse through two miles of forest to get his bike, another mile to get back out, the bike could wait seven hours.

"Alright, let me get outta here before Charlie comes back here. I don't want to test our luck a second time."

"Okay. You might want to let the truck warm-up for five minutes or so. I've been starting her every day, you're not in danger. Just to be safe…"

"We're talking about a new car for you tomorrow."

"Talk away," I laughed. "Doesn't mean I need to listen. I like my truck."

"It's cold in here." Glancing at my chest, his eyebrow raised meaningfully. "Get warm, I'll let myself out."

I turned the light out after he'd left. My phone was on silent, I'd see the screen if I got a text. I heard my truck rumble to life, if my window were open I'd probably hear Edward sigh heavily.

'_So fucking sexy. Great mental image for later.' _

Or groan. That was hotter, I smiled at my phone and thought about what how to respond.

'_Later? But I'm not wearing my shirt anymore. Or my shorts, come to think about it. No worries, I'm nice and warm.' _

'_How much do you like these seats?'_

In my driveway? Too bad I didn't still have those binoculars.

'_Like we desecrated your car?' _

'_Broke in, you mean. I'm heading home, I'll text you in a few. Keep going, by all means. What are you doing in the dark, naked, under your sheets?' _

I turned the music up a little and reached under my bed. Thank fuck for silent toys. In half an hour I'd tell him exactly what I had done while he drove home.

_**o . o . o**_

After clearing out over twenty texts to keep our conversation going, I had finally succumbed to sleep. Falling asleep with my phone in hand hadn't been the greatest of ideas. I woke with it plastered to the side of my face. Opening my eyes, I had wondered what the hell was digging into my forehead.

I hadn't gotten a chance to get bored of routines. Mornings might always be the same, but afternoons definitely weren't. It had started with smoking up, helping Alice with dance plans had kept me occupied for awhile. The big fight with Edward had happened, the parking lot physical fight, a rabid bear, going to the Res. Forks kept things interesting, I had to wonder about the people that said country life was relaxed. Maybe we kept finding trouble. It had always been attracted to me in Phoenix, Edward seemed to find himself in odd positions a lot, too.

Charlie hadn't been mad about finding him in my room. He thought it was amusing that all we did was talk, apparently the Cullens had told him the same thing. We did talk a lot. He seemed disappointed that I was planning on moving out so soon, but I made it clear that there wouldn't be any major life-decisions until at least June.

After telling me that I should let Edward take care of me, he had gone to work.

Thanks, Dad.

His comment about marital bliss had made me pause a minute. Edward wasn't thinking about proposing, he had told me that in no uncertain terms. That was the only thing keeping me together. I didn't want to marry anyone yet. With marriage came kids, with kids came responsibility I wasn't prepared for yet.

Edward might be rich as Midas, but if I were going to have a child… there was a lot of research I needed to do. Just with the pregnancy phases alone, I wanted to know what I'd be getting myself into. I knew smoking, smoking up, and drinking would be done with. I'd probably stop a few years before planning conception so that I'd be sure the baby was born completely healthy.

"Used the door this time," Edward closed it behind him and stood in the kitchen doorway.

I was putting the dishes away when he came up behind me and kissed my neck. Turning around, I wrapped my arms around his neck and said hello in a better way.

"So? How'd it go this morning? I'd have been here earlier, but I figured you could handle it."

"That why you stayed last night?"

"I didn't stay," he looked confused. "Remember texting me… are you high?"

"No," I kissed him one last time before turning off the coffee-maker. "You could have been to your bike by the time Charlie and I were done talking. Yet you came back through the window."

"Oh, that." He rubbed his hand across his neck.

"Thank you, if I haven't said it yet. That was nice of you."

"I know Charlie's cool and all, I just wanted to be sure you were safe."

"Safe?"

"Yeah…" He searched for words and didn't find any. "You know. Safe."

"Rest easy, he's not going to bar my window shut. He was irritated more because we woke him. I should have been more quiet, sorry about all of that."

"Don't apologize," he shrugged. "It could have been worse."

"No, really not," I scoffed. "I'm not going to be responsible for his heart-attack."

"He's too young to have heart problems."

"Yeah, just in case. We've got to be more careful, we're going to get caught. There are a lot of things to pick from, I've been sloppy lately."

"We'll do better," he agreed. "I'll admit, being caught was strange for me."

My phone was buzzing. Panic crawled it's way up from my stomach and lodged in my throat. I forced myself to flip it open without hesitating. Bad news would be bad no matter when I heard it. No need to stand here like a pansy fuck. I took a deep breath.

"What happened?"

"Good, you're not in school," Rosalie's voice sounded clear. She wasn't calling from a payphone, I had recognized the Phoenix area code and, as always, braced for the worst.

"You called just to talk?"

"Yeah, well, you made me swear to tell you first."

Edward was giving me worried eyes. As my blood started circulating again, the ice thawed from deep within, I gave him a thumbs up. He nodded and motioned toward the porch. It was cigarette time for him.

"Relax before I tell you the news," I could picture her smirking. She loved causing reactions in people; the stronger they were, the more amused she'd be.

"Might as well tell me now." I followed Edward out of the house and accepted a cigarette from him.

"I've got a boyfriend now."

"Oh my fucking god," I nearly burned myself. "You didn't!"

"Bastard grew one me like… whatever's hot, annoying, and infectious. Couldn't stop thinking about him. He asked me out on a date. How… sickeningly cute."

"You went on a date?"

"Shut up, it wasn't that serious. A movie and dinner, I could have done that by myself. I have done that myself. It's not a huge deal."

"You went on a date," I giggled. "Did you dress up for him?"

"I didn't need to," she cleared her throat. "I look fantastic all of the time."

"Hang on a second." I put the phone behind me so she wouldn't hear what I'd say. "Rose is on the phone, you mind if I tell her about you?"

"No…" he glanced over at me inquisitively. "Your friend Rosalie?"

"Yeah. One minute," I put my phone on speaker. "You know, it's funny you should say. I've found a boyfriend, too."

"Oh no," Rose laughed. "What's wrong with him? You always go for the bad boys."

I was regretting my decision already. "He's sitting right here. His name's Edward, nothing's wrong with him."

There was silence on the other end. I could picture Rosalie putting on her makeup, school for them didn't start for another hour.

"Alright. Fine. I'll believe you, I have to, right? Am I on speaker?"

"Yeah."

I heard scuffling, Rosalie cursed a few times. "Son of a bitch!" I'd never mistake the sound of her smacking someone.

"Do it again," a man's voice laughed. "I love that shit."

"Rose? You okay?"

"Fucker put _you_ on speaker," she said tersely.

And that told me everything I needed to know. I had seen Rosalie full on punch a guy in the jaw for nabbing her phone. No one touched her shit without permission, that she had only hit him once… wait, he was with her? This early in the morning? Well, yea, this was Rosalie.

"Yo, Bella-babe! Name's Emmett, remember me?"

"Yeah… you're on the football team?" I recalled seeing him around; wearing the football jersey, he hadn't been hard to miss. Over six feet tall, short brown hair and light blue eyes. Edward's were better, no contest, but I wouldn't tell Rose that. I'm pretty sure Edward was taller, too.

"Was," he agreed. "Tried swimming and basketball, too."

"Now he wrestles," Rosalie said, satisfied. "Does your guy speak?"

"Not on command," I laughed.

"Work on that," she said.

"No thanks," I replied. "I'm not exactly Dominatrix material."

"Speaking of, how is he in bed? Still finding amateur fuckers. Literally?"

Speaking of? I didn't need to know how those two things correlated in her mind.

"Assuredly not," Edward spoke up. He laughed, which I took as a good sign. Raising his eyebrow at the phone, he took another drag of his cigarette.

"Nice voice," she complimented. "I'm picturing tall, muscular, pretty eyes and long hair?"

"Blonde, his hair's kinda short. Very sexy," I ran my hand through it because… he was there and I could. "Soft, warm, it'd be longer if it weren't so wavy-"

"Intelligent, right? Book smart, I'm sure." Thank fuck she interrupted me.

"Other things, too," I added. "He's got my back, don't worry."

"To add to your mental image," Edward said dryly, "I've got three lip piercings, two on my tongue. My ear's pierced twice, one stud and an industrial."

"And nipple piercings," I found myself saying.

"Well, damn," she clicked her tongue. "Very nice. You didn't answer my question."

"Haven't you heard that it's not polite to kiss and tell?"

"I'm not polite to friends," Rose said. "Why bother? You know me. And I wasn't asking you about his kissing techniques."

"Fine. I'm incredibly satisfied. Happy?"

"Bet you are."

I yelped when Edward impulsively bit my neck. He had moved so fast, there was no time to get out of his way. His teeth didn't close, but he used enough pressure to make it hurt really good.

"I like him," she finally said. "Name's Rose, Edward, if you haven't heard it before."

"Bella's mentioned you," he spoke up again. "Where did you find the mango body spray?"

"Come down to visit and I'll show you…"

"I want to buy eight or nine bottles of it," he put his cigarette out on the gravel.

It was purely an Edward move, not many people would have hesitated before using the porch step as their ashtray. I watched as he moved the small stones around with his boot until all traces were gone.

"… really? I'm revising my earlier opinion. Buy her some nice perfume, cheap bastard."

"You bought it for her in the first place," Edward grinned. "What does that say?"

"That I was poor at the time and got her a present anyway," Rose countered. "You sound cocky enough to have money. Victoria's Secret, babe. They have a website."

"You know, I really do like mango." I was not getting into the whole 'Edward has piles of cash in his closet' thing. He didn't need to buy me things. I had yet to get him a present, he had been supplying my habit for months. Not to mention, I found all of the money I'd left in his drawer tucked into one of my books.

He would find it in one of his shoes, eventually. I picked ones that he would wear with a suit. They were all the way in the back of his closet, I doubted they'd seen the light of day more than twice. It'd be a nice surprise for him when he next dug them out.

Rose chuckled. "Your manners, you were always the well-bred one. I figured- whatever it is that makes people do crazy things to appear nice- … you actually like that stuff I got you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"More so now, I assume," Edward put his arm around me so that I could lean on him. "I smell tropical fruit and immediately want to go down on her. Speaking on command isn't really my thing. Fair trade?"

The last was directed at me. I shoved at him, it was ineffectual. He moved when I parted my legs a little and kissed him on the cheek. Not pausing to take the stairs, he knelt on one knee directly below me. His fingers were cold on my legs, I scrambled backwards when I realized what he was planning.

"Edward!"

"What?" His expression was mischievous, he stalked toward me like a cat. Nearly crawling up two steps, Edward rested his head on my thigh. He couldn't have been comfortable, but I knew trying to move him would be a waste of time.

"Could you act… I don't know! I have neighbors!"

"If they're watching, that makes them the pervs." He rolled his head upward and looked at me seductively.

Emmett laughed, a huge booming sound.

"Text me your address, B. Consider it my 'welcome to bumfuck' present. Congrats on finding an orally proficient guy."

"Crude much?"

"You're the one about to engage in some indecent exposure. You miss me, you know it."

I shook my leg to try and dislodge him. No luck. His cheek raised an inch or two. He took a deep breath and blew upward. I was wearing a thong under my skirt. Taking his hair in my hand, I raised his head, put my other hand down, and rested his cheek on it.

My voice didn't waver. "Enough that I'd let you bunk here if you wanted to visit me. I'd pay for your hotel if Emmett comes along, I don't want you fucking all over my house. And yes, I know you would."

"Me? There? What would we do, go fishing?"

Before arriving in Forks, that's what I thought life would be. I would get straight A's, learn how to fish with Charlie, grow an interest in sports. Funny how things turned out.

"I know how to catch fish," I heard Emmett say.

"That's 'cause you're built like a bear." It sounded like she kissed him. Wow. "Anyway, I'll think about. We'll think about it. Could be fun."

We? Double wow and a fuck me on the side. I hadn't been sure if the word boyfriend was being used correctly. In the past, anyone who was added to her phone could be considered someone pretty important. She never used words like 'we,' and…

"Do you watch him wrestle? I mean, you go to his… matches?"

It took me a second. Watching baseball, soccer, football, they were games. Wrestling matches, swim meets; I really needed to pay more attention in gym class. I felt like an idiot.

"Maybe," her tone was defensive.

"Aw," I laughed. "Supporting your man, that's cute."

"I can still kick your ass," she warned me.

"Yeah, yeah. I've gotta go. We're going to be late to school if we don't get Edward's bike first."

"Do you ride on the handlebars?"

"Motorcycle," Edward corrected her lightly.

"I _knew_ there was leather involved somewhere! Later, guys. Drive fucking safe, alright?"

"Of course," I answered. "Nice talking to you, Emmett. You guys be safe, too."

"Always, babe."

The call ended, I shook my head at the weirdness.

Edward sighed. "Why do people always assume I'm some sort of maniac on the road?"

Black leather jacket, jeans, motorcycle boots… his hair was scruffy, he hadn't shaved today, and he was pulling another cigarette out of it's pack.

"Because you look so cuddly."

"Yeah, well, we're going to _be_ safe. I can pick the bike up after school, no way are we riding to school with you in a skirt."

"We did last time," I pointed out.

"Your skirt was… longer." He made a face at me, "Whatever, I don't give a fuck. But don't change, your truck would be so disappointed."

"I'm talking to Alice after school today, anyway. She wants to go over Halloween dance plans."

He sighed heavily. "Again?"

"I haven't heard any yet."

"We're getting stoned first," he warned me. "If I'm going to sit through her lists of costumes that are party-appropriate, I plan on being baked to fuck for it."

"With Jasper. He'll be there, too. You'll have someone to do the manly disagreement thing with. I'm kind of excited about it."

"I know Halloween's become too commercialized, blah blah blah. Any holiday that has people giving free candy, with hot chicks… er, y'know," he backtracked, "the better horror movies come out. It's a great… fuck."

"Free candy is always fun. In Phoenix, they had a massive rave every year right before the thirty-first. It was a lot of fun. A lot of hot chicks would show up," I rolled my eyes at him, "and pair off with guys who knew how to dance. It was hot."

"Goth clubs in New York would go all out. Queens was a mess with all of the drag-queens, people like that, hanging around all over the place. Greenwich, used to be, but last time I was there all of the more interesting people were flocking to SoHo or the East Village."

It was the first time he had spoken about New York in a positive way. His eyes weren't the slightest bit gray.

"So the Halloween party is going to be like that? Just… a little less extreme?"

"I wish," he laughed. "You know the backyard, where Jay and I fought after the dance?"

"Yeah. Have I mentioned that I loved the speaker set up? Very cool, man."

Edward groaned and glared at me. Whoops. He hated when I called him 'man.' Gave him flashbacks to when we fought and when I had slammed the door in his face. It had taken awhile for my urge to slam Tanya's face against a locker to pass, too.

"Babe, uh… dude?" The glare intensified. "Yo is definitely out. How about… master of my insatiable girl parts?"

I laughed as he lunged at me. Scrambling to my feet, I jumped the porch rail and raced to my truck. With Edward laying across the front steps, I had time before he caught up with me.

"You _are_ orally proficient." I kept the truck between us.

"I'm going to catch you eventually."

"You've got an unfair advantage. I'm wearing heels."

"Yeah," he smirked. "It's good to be a guy."

He pulled himself up and over the side so that I had to look up at him from the ground. I knew he wouldn't tackle me to the ground. Propping one foot on the tire, I rested my elbow on my thigh and batted my eyelashes.

"I've never seen you wear anything _but_ heels."

"You love them. Besides, I don't own a pair of regular sneakers. Only for gym, and they can barely be called shoes anymore."

He jumped out of the truck and landed gracefully next to me.

"You can't catch me if I'm standing still."

"Says who?" Edward picked me up and swung me in a small circle. The world spun and I clung to him as I lost all sense of balance.

"The neighbors, which you've forgotten about again."

"They've seen plenty," he smiled. "Including a nice view of you flashing them as you leapt over the railing."

"I did not. Did I really?"

He opened the driver's side and deposited lowered me onto the seat. "It was hardly noticeable," he crooked grinned. "I'm gonna go grab your stuff, I'll be right back."

"You don't-"

"Already done, babe." Edward handed me the keys. "Warm her up, she stalled on me last night."

"Hey," I called after him. "Would you mind locking the door on your way out?"

"No problem," he said over his shoulder. I watched as he loped to the stairs, took them two at a time, and disappeared into the house. Maximum efficiency, I started the truck, he emerged with my bag less than a minute later. Closing the door behind him, making his way back to the truck, sliding into the passenger seat, all of that had been done in record time.

"I hid a _cigarette _if you want to look for it."

"I don't go through women's bags," he handed it to me. "I wouldn't know where to look, anyway."

Bad memories there, I didn't push. I'd have given him my Ipod, but his was already connected through the tape-deck. He was browsing through songs and seemed unaware that I had read into his statement. I rooted around until I found it. Handing it to him, he raised his eyebrow in question.

"Saved it for you. I knew I'd be driving, you'll have a way to occupy your time."

"Thanks," he opened a window and smiled to himself.

Three or four hits later, spaced over half an hour, I was glad we were pulling into the school's parking lot. Mike had given us supreme weed, my contact high was strong as some of my regular high's. Since we'd be waiting until lunch to smoke again, I didn't mind taking a few drags for myself now that we had safely arrived.

"Oh my fuck," Edward swore as he climbed down onto the pavement.

"She didn't stall," I defended my truck automatically. "If you were nicer to her, she wouldn't be so feisty."

"The death rattle," he put his jacket over my shoulders. "I'm amazed she still runs. I can't think about it. I'm so fucking high, I'll get paranoid."

"We _are_ paranoid," I laughed.

"Tin foil hats are forthcoming."

"Bella Swan, Edward Cullen," the secretary was standing in the doorway. "First bell rang five minutes ago."

Edward put out his cigarette, I had declined. If I were this high now, I didn't want to know what it'd be like after the menthol.

"She had car trouble. Truck trouble. Our apologies."

He was hilarious. Ms. Cope glanced over at my dark orange vehicle. Her eyebrow twitched, but she didn't say anything else. "I fucking love you _and_ your truck." Edward kissed me quickly before we parted in the hallway.

A nice chat with Dad, I was still staggering over Rosalie's news. Being high as hell, wearing Edward's jacket, getting to spend time with everyone after-school… today was already off to a great start. And while Jasper and Edward bonded, I'd get some girl-time with Alice. We desperately needed to catch up. Much as I missed Rosalie, moving to Forks had been my best fucking decision ever. If I could manage to convince her to visit me here, possibly with Emmett, I'm sure she would fit in well. She and Alice would get along; Rose wouldn't be as characteristically bitchy to her, I knew it already. She did intend on going to college, I remembered the dozens of times she swore it to me when she was drunk and determined. Why shouldn't she head to Washington? I'd have to call her later and get her to move here permanently.

There was plenty of room for everyone. Somewhere. Maybe it was the pot, but I was feeling really good about the idea. The thought of moving in with Edward wasn't making me go stock-still inside. Whatever happened would happen, I'd make sure we were prepared as we could be, and if we managed to succeed? That would be fucking fantastic.

**Authors End Note:**  
I got stuck toward the end of this chapter, which is why it took so long for me to update. Something seemed off, I couldn't just upload it and let the feeling go. Sorry for the long wait, but I'm happy with it now.  
A lot happened emotionally, I think, if not physically. Night passed into day, the chapter ended… I wrote a one-shot 'Switches and Subs.' Strong bdsm content, be warned if you want to check it out. Jasper, Edward, Bella, and Rosalie are the main characters thus far. It _was_ a one-shot- until I wrote a follow-up chapter while trying to sort through this chapter.

**Authors End Note 2:  
Heavyinfinity-  
**Happy birthday again! I really do hope that you had a great day, =D. Glad you liked the song, I had it in my head and couldn't get rid of it. Haha, it's gone now, replaced by Adam Lambert's 'Master Plan.'

**Parkesy23, San4jon, Bundysarah, Ageise02, 1dreamkeeper, Kitasky123, Bhekie, Bookfreaklover, Acw1, BandWhore2011, Samily, Rileyks3, Valleegrl, ColourmeCullen, DreamyDane-  
T**hanks for all of your reviews! Thank you to anyone who has rec'd the story on Twitter, personal sites, and for contests! I'm sorry I dont have more time to write to all of you. Free time happens again in three days and I didn't want to make all of you wait until then! I'll make it up to you next chapter, =), You guys are awesome.

**LadyTx-  
**Thanks for the clarification, =P! Only thing I can say is, at least they're talking after instead of before, right?  
It was gearing up to be a pretty heavy conversation, I'm glad they stalled for awhile.

**Angel27eyes-  
**I found you on Twitter! You don't suck as a reader or reviewer, no worries. Thanks so much for rec'ing my story! I'm glad you like it so much, 'happy dance.

**Sarix Angel-  
**No problem, anytime! As to 'Gasolina,' I needed a new song genre, haha. Country, Rock, Alternative, Punk, Industrial, EBM, and metal had all been used. Time to bring out the big guns, haha. Rap and Reggaeton. Sadly, I don't listen to very much of them so the ones I knew might have been played to hell on the radio.  
I am writing a story of my own. 30k words away from being able to send it out, I keep getting distracted by fan fiction. It'll get done eventually, haha. And thank you!- it's nice to know at least one copy will be bought. =D!

**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**Hahaha, that's awesome! I inherited a mini-van so, yeah, I might have been made fun of a lot… but when anyone needs help moving... who do they call, you know? An orange grove sounds amazing, beats the hell out of secluded street-parking, =P.

**Ccaajjaa-  
**Yeah… trial and error is a good way to put it. I can remember bruises, an awful moment when my head hit his and I thought I broke his jaw… an even worse moment when I cut my leg open on the seat-belt thing. I have a few balance issues, haha. All fun times, though, I agree with you. Sex to the side of the car, or On the car… much better decision.

**Karen4honor-  
**You're so very welcome! Thank _you_ for always leaving me such happy reviews! And I do believe that was the first time Edward orgasmed without pain. Although he _did_ fall, so I'm not sure if it counts. It's progression, though, and for that I'm happy. =D! I'll be touching on that topic again in the future, in a bunch of ways. I like lemons, they're challenging.  
Where will they be when the urge strikes? What new positions haven't they done yet? Depending on whose POV it's in, the emotions and priorities are different. Overall, I like to use new words. I don't want to read it, or have people read, and become bored. Like… they've done this already, 'heavy sigh,' when is there going to be something _different_? I get paranoid, haha.

**Jansails-**  
I was surprised at Edward, too. It didn't make a lot of sense to me until I wrote this chapter. I wanted to change it, but never got around to it… which usually means my head hasn't caught up to my characters. So I relax, go with it, and trust that they'll be a good explanation somewhere down the line. Heh.  
I'll have to go back and read the car scene again. Maybe I can add some detail so it won't be as confusing for other people.  
And thanks for the medical information. Curious- would you know if the same rules apply if Charlie were the one bringing the files to Carlisle's attention? Bella wasn't his patient yet, she was seventeen, and she wasn't in the same state… is there any other loop-hole for that rule? And, since he's Bella's Dad, are there exceptions for parents? Sorry for asking, just figured you might know since I wasn't aware of the guidelines in the first place.  
Thanks, Jan!

**Lilyiri-  
**Cool name! Thanks for reviewing, I'm happy you love Edward in this story. ^_^

**VAVikingGirl-  
**I love that feeling! Nights of endless writing, a frenzy of creative writing… awesomeness. It's not happening for me right now, apparently. Haha. I am excited for you, though, incredibly so! Someone else mentioned that the positioning was hard to follow, so I'll definitely be going back to check on it. Thanks, VA!

**Christykq-  
**Hmm. Third person, I apologize for strange writing. Soon as I upload this one, I go back to edit Chapter 33. =D. Edward tends to have ulterior motives- even if they're not planned- for a lot of things he does. It's difficult writing him sometimes because the way a chapter's going changes abruptly when he realizes there's a benefit for him/them somewhere.  
I like that he's take-charge _and_ accommodating, makes wrestling with him through chapters easier. Dominant and short-tempered, but rational/logical enough that I'm not breaking him out of jail all the time. Haha. And I talk about characters as though they're not mine because… they don't always feel like they are. They appeared out of nowhere, I hear them and see scenes in which they interact, but I type and they take over. It's strange and super fun with a little substance abuse, muhaha.

**DodgerMcClure-  
**Thanks for tolerating it, =). Glad you liked the chapter!

**Cat5050-  
**They're both kinda touchy when it comes to personal safety. A little twitchy, too, but it's fun to write so I don't complain. =D. I envy your country roads, Angel mentioned an orange grove. I wish, haha. One day I plan to meet a handsome and roguish cowboy on a stunning horse, of course, with hot springs conveniently located nearby. Until then, I hear Jasper. I'm good with both, heh.

**Hannah Lightwood-  
**Thank you! I have read '**Inked,**' yes. It was fantastic and I worry sometimes that the similarities will make people pause. I love pierced guys in leather, I mean, really? Mmm. And with fighting knowledge, tattoo's, and a motorcycle… I'm done. My habits happen to match up with Edward and Bella's, with their street experience- I'm happy that all they smoke is pot. I hope, at least, that the differences are clear because I loved that story a lot and wouldn't want to take anything from **ARenee363**.  
I also love '**What's Eating Gilbert Grape**.' Johnny Depp's eye acting is an incredible thing. He conveys so much with a look, how he uses his hair to hide… it was a phenomenal movie. I'm glad you loved it so much! The book is great, too. If you want to buy it, look for '**The Man Who Cried**.' I saw the movie and, I haven't cried for a movie yet, but that one came damn close.

**Les16-**  
Thank you! I'm glad you said 'evolve.' I know that they talk a lot, which I feel is needed, but at the same time… I'm glad to know that others feel the same. It's not just wasted space, in other words.  
I mean, at the beginning of the story… Edward's antisocial, he only really likes Alice, carries a knife even though he's been in Forks for three years… ticking time-bomb. And then he meets Bella. I didn't want it to be a 'what? O.o, moment. You know? I don't want him to lose the 'tough factor,' but at the same time he's gotta mellow a little bit or he'd never trust anyone else.  
Now that he's mentioned moving in I'm feeling a little apprehensive because that's a huge step and it came out of nowhere. So, like Edward and Bella, I don't focus on it too much. I hope that by the time the subject is broached again, I'll have a tighter grasp on things and can make it work. =D.

**Dazzleglo-  
**Hahaha, yup! Thanks very much! I'm not sure where Paul stands, if he'll even remember the fight… I assume so because he's bound to be in some pain. Heh.

**Ginger Vondiesel-  
**Thank you! Your explanation makes me think of Wolverine. I might have to go put that in the DVD-player. =D. I'm glad you think this story is entertaining!

**Fliberty-  
**Hey! Good, I'm glad to have that mystery solved. It was a great review! I was confused as to why there was no name, it flipped me out for a minute. I'd never gotten one of those before.  
I always liked Sam, too. I'm a fan of the loner/suffer in silence types… like Angel. Haha. I'm not sure why Edward didn't have a bigger reaction to Bella's defense. Maybe he was so stunned and confused- because it was just business for him-, grateful and turned on that he can't react yet? I'll find out next chapter. =D.  
Sorry about your bad feeling. No stalkers, haha. They have enough problems to deal with; their lemon time, aside from interruptions all the fuck over, is theirs and I wouldn't want to give them cause to worry for the future. You know? Not sure if I explained that right. =/.  
I see it as a way for Edward and Bella to just _be_ with one another, holding nothing back, not needing to hide anything from the other. And I try to make the scenes reflect that… the nice close feeling of not caring what's going on with the world because they're actually, gasp, happy! =D!


	35. Girlscout

**Chapter 35  
- Girlscout**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
Pipes- **http:/www(dot)cutlerywholesaler(dot)com/images/products/detail/11(dot)1(dot)jpg

**Playlist**  
http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Lucky- **SR-71  
**When Two Are One- **Atreyu  
**Born With Nothing, Die With Everything- **Papa Roach  
**Girlscout**- Jack Off Jill  
**This Afternoon- **Nickelback

**Edward's Point of View**

I had been caught. By Bella's father. Getting into her room had been easy, I found that my trek through the forest had been calming. I wasn't worried about making a lot of noise, I'd robbed people while they slept a room away. Some instincts didn't fade as time went by, they improved even without constant use.

Standing outside on a thick branch, I hadn't been able to move. Memories aside, I couldn't run and leave Bella to face the repercussions of our actions. It hit me all at once. Everything I'd tucked away to think about when I was alone and really high, I wouldn't be able to lie to myself then, came clawing to the forefront of my mind.

I loved her. Protecting and defending her notwithstanding, I had asked her to move in with me as though it were the most natural thing in the world. That's how it felt, at least, which might have flipped me the fuck out were I not precariously balanced in a really fucking tall tree. Charlie wouldn't hurt her, I knew that much. I doubted he would make her cry, there wasn't very much that could cause that reaction in her. With all of his talk of innocence and purity, finding me in her bedroom couldn't be a good thing.

So there I stood, like a fucktard, torn between leaving the state and jumping back through the window. It wouldn't have been a question in the past. Well, back then I wouldn't have been fucking caught… but even so, I'd be on the first bus, plane, or cab that had an ability to get me out of there. And while every instinct was screaming at me to run, a very deep, quiet place inside of me was calm and insisting I stay. This was one of those things I'd hate myself for doing either way, but one option was more tolerable than the others were.

In the past, I had left because no one meant anything to me. They used me, I used them, it was a nice arrangement I had with any chick I slept with. I didn't want anything to do with their parents or making plans, and I certainly didn't care what their schedule was like aside from when we were going to be fucking. We met at pre-arranged locations, did our thing, and then left before anyone could make the connection.

I didn't like the idea of keeping Bella a secret. She had no problem with letting people know we were together. I liked knowing that when we walked the hallways together, my arm around her waist... she was mine and every guy at Forks High knew that. They were also aware that I could easily kick the hell out of anyone stupid enough to give Bella a hard time. Good to be the scary loner guy sometimes.

I was far from standing in a tree, but the feeling remained. It wasn't even fear… I knew what being afraid felt like. When I first heard Charlie, my reaction was to get near the window. Her bed was too small for me to fit under, her closet was out of the question. I didn't want to run. Charlie knew I was there, he made that obvious. If I left, it would look suspicious, and we really hadn't been doing anything sexual. In her room. Had Bella's father taken a punch at me, I'd take it as was his right. One free hit, only one.

Responsibility. What a bitch.

Taking another hit of pot, I turned the music up and wished Bella were here. We could have one of our conversations that made everything make sense. I liked watching her flush due to the pot. She smiled easier, relaxed more, and her eyes were alive with emotion.

It now being after two in the morning, I hadn't expected to hear from her again after she sent me a 'sweet dreams' text. So, until I smoked myself out, I was alone to think.

I had changed my fucking class schedule for her. She wouldn't have asked me to, god forbid Bella Swan ask someone for help. I knew the prospect of gym was making her nervous. Thanks to Alice and the school's blood donation rally, a Saturday class on Safe Driving, and a walkathon for some sort of cancer- I had a marking period of gym to miss. The school was really into their cause work, too. Any student that donated blood consistently for four years, enrolled in the Safe Driving class, took part in one of the charities, and- of course- donated to the Senior Class Trip Fund was able to bypass one marking period of senior gym class.

Alice had insisted we take part in all of them. She knew I liked skipping classes to begin with. At least this way it was officially permitted. I had bitched about it, all of them, but I went anyway because Alice wanted me there with her. Now, along with sixteen Saturday's I couldn't get back, I had been able to switch into Bella's class easily.

The charity work I helped with in school, as well as the functions I'd attended with the family, had me at enough credits to pass another year of school. I only needed four of them to convince the guidance counselor to let me skip Health. Bella still looked nervous when anyone mentioned sports, but I'd watch out for her. I wouldn't let her sprain any fingers or get roughed up. The thought made me laugh. I could see Bella holding her hand, death on her face. She'd probably go into the locker room and return with a bat to beat whomever had temporarily handicapped her.

Fuck me. Like the night on the Res when she had defended me. Remembering it still made me feel strange inside. Jake and I had actually bonded, if that's what it can be called. I glanced over at him, he stared at me, we both looked to Bella who seemed furious.

"_He's not a fucking _thing_." _

'What did we do?' It was obvious he had no clue, either. I listened to the rest of her angry tirade and retreated to that dark, quiet place within that hadn't existed before Forks. It made me feel so off-balanced, I hadn't been able to think about it until now. I'd never been one of those 'walk around in a daze' type people. Yet now, if someone came flying through my door, I wouldn't know until it was too late.

I knew I was a person, for all of the jokes I made about being monstrous with no soul, I was breathing and alive. I knew that. In all of my experiences, it wasn't who a person was that mattered. I tended to judge people by what they could do instead of who they were.

I had known right away that Sam was someone I'd want on my side. Bella, even, and I couldn't be ashamed of it- my first reaction to her had been based on a universal out-of-this-world fuck factor. I didn't compare her to a celebrity I wouldn't mind fucking, there had been no time to think of anyone else. She didn't remind me of anyone, either.

With Jessica, I had been able to hold her long blonde hair in front of her face. It was easy pretending Trish Stratus or Jenna Jameson, in her hot years, was the one sucking me off. Terrible, but true. She had dyed her hair red once, I had to change over to Evan Rachel Wood to get the job done. In fact, picturing redhead Jessica from the vampire show Alice watched might be why Stanley had grown so attached. The fantasy got a little out of control, what can I say?

Bella, however, would never have a problem with that. I liked taking her in ways that exposed her face. There was nothing she could do with her mouth or body that would be wrong. She had talked with me in the backseat of the Volvo, eating cookies while lying naked on my leather jacket… we had a real conversation about my masochistic tendencies.

First, it stunned me that she had noticed. Second, it amused me that she brought the subject up while I fucked her, standing in a public parking lot. And third, it really bugged me that _I _hadn't been aware of it. I had fucked a lot as a teenager, it was something physically pleasurable to do. My first time, even, my arm had been all fucked up. I didn't tell the girl that, it wasn't really noticeable, and from her reaction I knew I'd performed decently.

The meadow I couldn't count because aside from the marks I left on Bella, fucking _hell_, she had left some nice reminders for me, too. She had purposefully avoided my tattoo for which I was grateful. The ink wouldn't have been okay, not that I'd give a damn. Even contemplating the shower within these parameters was laughable. After the dance? No… How to have sex without hurting oneself... Was that a question normal people had? There were very few times in my childhood and teenage years in which I could say I wasn't hurt in some way. If I had waited until I healed completely before having sex, I'd have been a nineteen-year-old virgin. Seriously? No guy waited that fucking long. Most girls I had known at that age knew what they wanted sexually. Any guy who didn't satisfy them was left in favor of someone who could.

There had been a lot of time to kill when Alice was in school. Sex, fighting, and the drug trade, I got valuable lessons in all three from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon. Then I'd go pick up Alice or meet her back at the hotel, motel, apartment, or group home. She'd fall asleep around eight or nine, I was free to go back out if we weren't in one of the homes.

Bella was getting me to think about things in a different way. She made it seem as though, while I had things under control, I wasn't the one _in_ control. Things had happened and been done _to_ me. She made it clear that she was impressed, proud even, of the way I'd coped with those things, but she said it'd be okay if I weren't alright. I was missing something somewhere. Why wouldn't I be alright? A lot of what she had to say was right. I called Carlisle 'Dad,' and the floor didn't open to reveal hell come to drag me down. It felt awkward and a little wrong because thinking 'Dad' made me envision Masen. I wouldn't compare Carlisle to him, ever.

Bella called Phil her stepfather even though she hated the bastard. She didn't hesitate when calling Charlie her dad. He was her real father, but having been absent for part of her life, I'd expect her to hold some sort of grudge. I would be wrong, Bella was too rational for that. She wanted to like people, I could tell. Me, on the other hand? I didn't want to like anyone else.

Having my list expand by three people over the course of a few months, I was thinking about taking all of us to a remote island somewhere. We could have supplies air-lifted in. The internet was a marvelous thing. Alice could order clothes to her heart's content, Esme and Alice and Bella could have fun feminizing the island. Jasper and Charlie could go hunting, Lost-style. Carlisle would have every rich man's dream. An island getaway of his own and early retirement. I wouldn't have to worry about any of them, sharks being the only exception. It was a great plan, I laughed to myself and extinguished the blunt.

Bella and her obsession with pirates… I lit a cigarette and fucking flew after letting the high settle in. We'd do better than rum. Pot plants for miles- could the plants grow in sand? Sure, why not. They'd grow anywhere I wanted them to. Fucking call me Captain. The high hit me after I put out my cigarette. Sleep was going to be great.

**o . o . o**

And it was. Red-eyed, yet full of energy, I sat in the living room after school had ended. I barely remembered school. Thanks to Bella's hidden _cigarette_, I had been relaxed and easy the entire day. Sometimes I talked to people, incredible what a social drug pot could be.

"Uh-oh," Alice came to sit next to me. "Serious face."

I didn't try to hide anything from her. She looked over my shoulder at the laptop I'd put on the table. Bella and Jasper would be here soon. He had needed to stop at home to check in with his Dad, Bella wanted to go home and change first. They were car-pooling so no one would have to park near the woods.

With Carlisle's SUV, Esme's car, Alice's bug, my Volvo and bike… the garage had been full halfway through that list. Bella and Jasper both drove trucks; our driveway was expansive, but not to the degree we'd need with everyone driving separately.

"I haven't used the account at all this month," Alice said. "Is there something wrong with the bank?"

"No. I'm just looking over some things, that's all. I haven't checked in a while-"

I turned the music down so that we could talk. It had been awhile since she and I sat down to bullshit. She was off doing things with Jasper, Bella and I had our own shit going on. All of us hung out, but alone time with Alice was rare lately.

"Three hundred? The grocery store, right?" she looked over my shoulder at the summary of purchases.

"Yeah. We're all going shopping next time. Bella's reaction was great. She was so… it was really funny."

"Ah. So now you're going over our financial records because… you want to take her shopping again? A lingerie store, perhaps? Or a concert, the two of you are obsessive about music. Seriously. I've never seen two people more involved with their I-pods."

"It's not nearly that bad."

"You pick songs and smoke cigarettes in the car more than you pay attention to the road." she pointed out.

"I don't need to stare at my cigarette to know I'm smoking it. Besides, I know what song's playing in, like, five seconds. What are you talking about? You're safe when I drive."

"Whatever, Edward. Where are you taking her?"

"There aren't any plans for us aside from the Halloween party."

She looked contemplative, the next few minutes passed in silence.

"It's something bigger than a date. Tell me. If you know, that is. Maybe you're not done seeing all of the angles, planning everything out so things work in your favor?"

"You're not going to let this go, huh?" I already knew the answer.

"Now that I know there's something to know?" She smiled, pleased with herself. "Nope."

"I… don't really know how to talk about it. You're, well- I don't fucking know, Alice."

Her eyebrows rose, she was all seriousness now. "This is about me?"

"Sort-of. Alright, I'm going to tell it from the beginning. Straight. No bullshit. Try not to kill me until the end?"

"Are you fighting again?"

"… not really."

I knew what she meant. Throwing down wasn't fighting, I didn't plan for anything to happen after we all met in the parking lot. The rest had found me. I wasn't scheduling fights for money anymore, that's what she was worried about.

"Then I won't be mad," she patted my arm reassuringly. "Go."

"Bella's my girlfriend."

"Mmhmm," she gave me Droll-face. "All of Forks knows, I don't think you have to worry about competition."

"Things have spiraled way the fuck out of control. I didn't expect to feel so… whatever. Fuck that part. I keep telling her that I could make everything easier for her, you know? If she wants an apartment, to finish school. I don't care if she wants to bum around until she knows what to do with life. That's what I'm doing right now. There are options is all I'm saying."

"You're talking about Bella Swan?" Esme had brought the mail in. She was holding two magazines that were supposed to go on the living room table. I moved some of my shit out of the way so she could put them down.

"Uh, yeah," I offered.

"Ok. Just curious," she grinned. "I'll be in the office if you need me for anything. Carlisle will be home sometime around nine tonight, we'll have to eat without him."

"Um… stay, I guess. If you want to. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to kick you out of your own fuck- er, y'know, your own living room."

"Great," she sat down without preamble. "What's got you so agitated that you're cursing in _my_ presence."

Yeah, that had been a pretty bad slip-up. I liked how laid-back Esme was. If I dropped an f-bomb, she didn't flip out. I knew she'd prefer I _not_ curse so much, but it didn't really bother her. I watched my language around her out of respect. She wasn't like my street girl friends. Or Alice. An interior decorator and a doctor, wife of a surgeon, I didn't want her knowing all sorts of gang slang. It wasn't necessary.

I had found it difficult speaking around her in the beginning. She was just so… nice. The house she had designed was incredible. She worked, made time to be home, supported and encouraged everything we did academically and otherwise. My clothes and smoking bothered her, but aside from sitting me down with blackened lung pictures, she didn't ask me to change my behavior. I don't even think she planned it that way, manipulatively. Smoking I had cut back on a lot. Really. It wasn't a sacrifice or anything, I really did need to cut back. I was up to two packs a day and getting worse.

Some of my shirts had been retired, I bought nice clothes and some suits to wear instead of the all black, chained, and silver stuff in my wardrobe. As for the suits, I had agreed to take part in the charity cause work. When we all attended dinners and events together, I wasn't going to make Carlisle and Esme look like the poster parents for what it was like raising a juvenile delinquent. Once my tattoos were covered, my piercings taken out, with the right haircut? Fuck me, I almost looked normal. It was eerie, brought back strange memories. Alice called me pretty. I am not fucking… pretty.

"Maybe I can put it this way," I addressed Esme for the rest of what I was going to say. "From Carlisle, you expect him to support the family, make time for you, help ensure a future for the both of you, right?"

"Not exactly," she paused, thinking. "Is that how you see your relationship with Bella going? Pure business? Cold hard cash over love and partnership?"

"No," I denied right away. "I'd, uh, y'know… love her. Of course I'd consider her part of all decisions, everything we'd plan as a couple. But I'd want her to know that I can take care of her. She wouldn't have to struggle or be poor, I can make sure she's financially secure in anything she wanted or wanted to do. You're married to Carlisle, it's a lot more serious than boyfriend and girlfriend."

"You're right. But I didn't marry Carlisle because he could support me."

Her tone was gentle, but I could see that she was serious now. Our age gap wasn't enormous, I liked that both Carlisle and Esme didn't placate us. They regarded everything we said as meaningful. That almost never happened with anyone else.

"We fell in love, pledged our vows, started a family. And we did all of that together. We thought about the future, what we wanted for ourselves, and we made it happen."

"… with money," I added. "I mean, not to harp on the subject, but love and respect can be shared while two people live in cardboard boxes. Relationships die because of financial problems. Other things, too, but that's the most prevalent reason. At least in my experience."

"Edward!" Alice perched behind me on the couch. Her legs were on either side of my body, her arms were around my neck. Like hugging me, for a really long time, I was used to Alice's strange seating arrangements.

"Yes?"

"You don't need to throw money at Bella to make her love you. What did you tell me? Bringing baked goods to her house wasn't going to make her my friend. Something like that. Cookies are a little less offensive than handing her a check."

I knew she was glaring at me. My neck was prickling the way it always did when Alice was pissed. It was no laughing matter. A lot of rage could come from small Ali-fae. Her nickname had lasted all these years. It was on Halloween that it had been spawned. We were browsing costume stores because she needed one for school. She was looking at princess costumes, I went to browse the adult section. The pictures were pretty good, what can I say? I didn't notice her come to stand next to me. There was one of a fairy directly in her eye-range. A very sexy, partially nude fairy. Alice fell in love with the wings. No way in hell was I letting her buy the entire costume, I ended up paying extra because the hard-ass behind his counter made a fuss about separating the pieces.

She still had them. Hidden in her closet, framed by the wings, is the larges of Alice's collages. It's symbolic of all the things I'd gotten her when we lived on the streets. She told me it started as a scrapbook and progressed from there. A record of how nice I could be, she told me.

Esme went contemplative. "And how does Bella feel about all of this?"

"That's the problem." I tried to keep the frustration from my tone. "She doesn't want _anything_. Ever. If we go somewhere, she tries to pay. I try to buy her things and she'll say something inane about how I've given her enough already. 'She's financially solvent,' 'my money isn't needed,' 'why can't I let people do things for _me_.'" Those were just a few of her arguments. Granted, I _had _let her pay now and again. Mostly at lunch in school because, really, five dollars wasn't going to break her. So long as we didn't go over ten, twenty, dollars, I wasn't going to bitch.

"I like her," Esme smiled.

"Me too," Alice laughed.

This should have been more awkward. I wasn't the 'talk about my fucking feelings' type of person. Alice had always been easy to vent with. Now that I didn't wince each time I tried to say 'Mom,' Esme was easier to speak with, too.

"And I'm very happy about that," I hesitated, "but it doesn't help solve my current problem."

"Which would be…" Ali prompted.

"Yeah… um, Bella and I were talking about colleges, possible jobs, future stuff, y'know?"

"Have you decided on anything yet?" Esme didn't look worried in the slightest. She had made it clear that the future was ours. Whatever we wanted to do, as Cullens we would have our pick of universities and careers. Most of them. Some I was contemplating had to deal with contacts I'd made prior to the adoption. No one needed to know about those yet, I hadn't come to any conclusions yet.

"I mentioned, maybe, eventually, getting an apartment together. With her. She and I."

Inside I was still. Would Alice be upset? The plan had always been for her and me to get a real place, one that we could legitimately own or rent. I didn't want to leave her behind. She was one of my top priorities, yet Bella was just as important to me. I couldn't see the three of us inhabiting the same space. We'd drive one another insane were that the case. Not to mention, I planned on 'breaking in' every piece of furniture, the walls, and the floor with Bella. That would be awkward knowing Alice would be living with us.

"… and?"

I glanced over at Alice expecting more. Nothing was forthcoming, she looked confused and a little excited for me. Maybe she didn't remember?

"I'm not going to hit you," she rolled her eyes at me. "Stop giving me defensive eyes."

"I thought you'd be pissed…"

"Why?"

"The both of you," I included Esme in the conversation again. "I mean, you adopted us four years ago. It really hasn't been that long. I didn't want you to feel… I don't know, gypped or something."

"Gypped?" Esme made a sound half between laughter and disbelief. "Am I guarding the windows and doors? Edward, you aren't serving time with us… you aren't going to leave and never return, are you?"

"No, definitely not. I know that. I just meant as _parents_, it might be difficult to think of us leaving the house considering it's only been four years.

"Ah," she smiled to herself. A gentle, happy, all-Esme smile that made me want to buy her something for being so… maternal.

"And Alice. You were going to school, we'd room together. I don't want you to ever think I'd just abandon you…"

"No way," she scoffed. "It'd be weird. Bella's really not a morning person. You get moody in the afternoons sometimes still. I'll pass on living with that, thanks. Besides, I don't know what's going to be happening. I've been working with horses, Jasper's been teaching me things. If he moves when school ends, I might get a job working around here. I could take community classes on equine care, be licensed as a large animal veterinarian. Or-"

"Wait a fucking minute," I interrupted. "What do you mean, 'If he moves when school ends.' He told you this? I'll take out his fucking kneecaps, where's he gonna run then?"

That son-of-a-bitch. For all his talk about _me_ not leaving Bella, he wasn't only going to leave Alice, but he was going to leave the _state_? I had warned him... If he hurt Alice emotionally, I'd destroy him physically.

"Edward," Alice wrapped her arms more firmly around my neck. "He mentioned it once. And that was toward the beginning of school. He hasn't brought it up since. I'm assuming, since he's teaching me with horses he loves, that he'll be around for awhile. If _not_, I like to know my life won't just end, I know you can understand that."

"Well, yeah," I admitted. "But-"

"And if he does decide to leave, I'm either going with him if he'll have me, or I'll let him go if he won't. I don't want you to force him to stay. Thanks for the offer, but I can't do that to someone. Promise me."

I'd have a difficult time doing that to someone, for myself. I wouldn't, however, find it hard to do that _for_ someone I cared about. I'd make sure all of their significant other's vital organs were still intact. They'd be able to perform; what the hell else did they want?

"I'll promise after you talk to him. Find out if he still plans to skip out after graduation."

"No…" she trailed off, laughing. "Now."

"Fine," I smiled at her and hope it looked sincere. "I promise I won't hurt him now."

"I know you wouldn't really," she slapped my arm. "That would go against your code. The 'Edward Cullen will not do this' list."

Which burned when it came to family, but I'd let her believe what she needed to.

"Um," Esme cleared her throat. "Not to make anyone feel financially insecure, but… Edward, you've spent a good deal of money in the past few years…"

"There's still thirty-thousand in my bank account."

"Maybe when you first inherited," she looked uncomfortable. "The interest rate isn't, I don't think, as high as you seem to believe. And you won't get the accounts we put in your name until you and Alice are thirty-five."

"The what?" I turned the lap-top so she could see the total. My bank account record was on the screen, thirty-thousand, six hundred, and twenty three dollars was documented as being in the bank.

"What did you put in our name?" Alice glanced from Esme to me. I had no idea what she was talking about, either.

"Carlisle and I opened accounts for the both of you when the adoption was processed. Upon turning thirty-five, you'll have access to your… trust funds, in other words. Not until that point, though."

"When- " thinking and speaking weren't happening at the same time. "But we don't…"

Esme cut in gently. "How, Edward-? You started with thirty-thousand. How is there more than that in your account? And not only more, but after everything you've purchased… is there something serious we need to discuss?"

"I really thought you knew about that. In all this time, I can't believe you didn't…" My sentence died as I went back through the facts. Had I really not let Esme and Carlisle in on the cash in my closet? Surely, at some point, I must have _mentioned _it. And if not me, Alice would have. She and I exchanged a glance. Shit.

There were still secrets. Not so many anymore, I wasn't going to try and lie my way out of this situation. If it would be useful to them… when I hid money around the house, where did they think it came from? If I tapped into the account, I'd replace the money with what was in my closet. Four years ago, there had been a lot more. I was down to twenty-thousand or so, maybe twenty-five if I really searched. Thirty if I tore some of the flooring apart.

"I wasn't purposefully hiding anything. Somehow, I guess I forgot to fill you guys in. I'm sorry about that. None of it would be traced back to me, or you, or Alice. Not that it makes you feel any better, but if anyone wanted to come after me for it, they would have by now."

"Reassuring," Esme said, still shocked. "Where did it come from? And why would… people… need to chase you for, um, _how_ much money?"

Alice looked to me again. I hesitated before allowing her to take over. She was better with words and explanations. I had already partially fucked things up. My meaning hadn't been clear. I had noticed that my priorities tended to differ from... everyone else. My first question would have been: Any potential threats? Followed by, who knows it's here? Apparently I'd be wrong.

"You knew that Edward and I lived together in New York. We weren't always in a group-home. When Edward came to get me, for example. We hid for a couple of years before social services put us back into the System. Uh, Edward found unconventional ways of supporting us."

"I worked three jobs, separately, but none of them paid enough. The pet store looked into my fake past and had to let me go when nothing showed up. I wasn't comfortable cleaning a strip club, too many fights. And the last job, well, I should have known better than to work in a pawn shop. I made more selling their useless crap for myself than I did selling it in the store."

"We," Alice took back over. "We made more selling their useless crap. It wasn't enough, though. So Edward found some people that dealt purely in cash, who wouldn't question age or background."

"I joined a gang," I clarified. "Alice convinced me to leave shortly thereafter. So I took part in underground fighting to make money. And you adopted us before I got too far into their ranks."

"Ranks," Alice snorted. "He's promised not to do anything like that again. No more fights like that for money, right?"

I knew why she snorted. Trying to make it seem less severe, I usually let people believe it was like UFC championships. It wasn't. There weren't any rules. People bet depending on how much experience and recognition you had. Fights were decided haphazardly, they got progressively more dangerous as the night went on. Some were 'last man standing,' I had only taken part in one of those. No one conditioned the fighters. There wasn't anyone to administer first-aid when the fight was over. They'd sling fighters out of the building if they couldn't walk out on their own. There was always someone desperate enough to take their place.

Most of the cash I'd stored in my closet was from that night. Like dogs, five or six men were pit against one another. When it was over, I can remember most of them still breathing. None of us were standing, me included. I had been out of commission for a month or so recuperating from that motherfucking bad idea.

We all heard a truck door close. The silence was awkward. I didn't know how to diffuse this situation before Jasper and Bella walked in.

"I think we should talk later," Esme said. "After Carlisle's home. Edward, if you wouldn't mind?"

"Sure, by all means," I replied.

"Okay," she stood. "What do you all feel like having for dinner? Pizza?"

Esme was awesome. My reaction, upon hearing my kid had an unverified amount of cash in their room, would probably entail buying a panic room of some sort. Bullet-proofing windows, upgrading our alarm system, I wouldn't be nearly so calm.

"Um… pizza's good," Alice offered.

"Sounds great," I added.

"Pizza it is," she nodded. "I'm going to finish some of my work and… call whenever you get hungry. Come find us when you want to talk, Edward." The study door closed to give all of us some privacy. I really fucking loved her.

"Tell Bella to come smoke with me if she feels like it?"

"Addicted," Alice clicked her teeth on the last syllable. She kept her voice low, which was all I asked. "Stoner, pot addicts."

"Everyone has their vices." I ruffled her hair as I walked past.

"I'm going to cut your arm off while you sleep," she growled.

Looks like I was going to be using cans again as a safety measure. For the rest of my life, Alice would bide her time until I let my guard down. The front door had been purposefully unlocked. I was fine with that provided someone was expected to be over.

"Wait!"

I braced as Bella came running towards me. She waved at Alice, took my arm, and dragged me into my room. With her little step-hop move, she straddled my waist and wound her fingers in my hair. She sucked on one of my lip piercings before letting her tongue touch mine. After kissing me soundly, Bella leaned back against the door.

"I got you a present," she said.

"... We were caught in your room last night and you're giving me a present?"

"Yep." She handed me a black box tied with a red ribbon. I appreciated the lack of pastel colors. Untying the ribbon while Bella lowered herself to the floor and did a little dance, I pulled out a pipe. Not just any pipe, two skulls were carved into its surface. The entire thing was white and felt like bone. It was heavy, too, and it looked incredibly easy to clean.

"Wow."

"I found them online and had to get you one. You like?"

"Hell yes!"

"Awesome," Bella smiled. "Pack that bitch so we can get through the first-time-packing hassle."

"Fucking incredible."

I did as she suggested. In no time, I was pulling hard to break the pipe in. Two hits later, I passed it to Bella who had no problems gaining smoke. Great fucking quality, of course Bella would go for top notch. She handed it back to me and sat with her back to the wall. One more long drag from me. I wanted to thank her properly. Shotgunning seemed like a good way to go. She closed her eyes and smiled as I leaned over. Her lips met mine, soft and mango-flavored, I let my tongue curl along hers. Blowing smoke into her mouth, she inhaled and held her breath.

When she exhaled, I got a lazy, pleasure-filled smile that made my cock twitch. I loved it when Bella was on her way to getting high. She blinked languidly and moved closer so she could trace my tattoo's with her fingernails. One more hit before I passed it back to her.

"So much higher. Why did I wait so long?" She chewed her lip for a moment before answering her own question. "Because I got to watch you roll blunts. It all makes sense now. I'm good, by the way. Done."

"Have we ever had sex high?"

One to say good-bye. I held the smoke as I extinguished what was left in the pipe. Exhaling slowly, I savored the taste. It was a random question, but the topic was always at least partially on my mind whenever Bella was around.

"We smoke _all_ of the time. So I assume so, yes."

"No, we've gotten high and then got around to things. After awhile. I don't think we've had high sex."

"I don't know what the difference is," she scooted away from me. "And we're not trying it now. Alice and Jasper are waiting for us."

"We don't have the time now," I sighed. "You don't know what I'm talking about? I'll have to show you. Soon."

"What are the chances we'll remember high sex? I have a feeling you're talking about 'off my ass' stoned, in which case I might pass out."

"That's the point."

I lit a cigarette for us, we could share one. After the pot, I wasn't sure I'd be able to smoke an entire cigarette. Bella got first drag, she made sure to hold it over the ashtray so nothing fell onto the bed while passing it back and forth.

"Gym class starts tomorrow," she sighed.

"Hockey, basketball, track, volley-ball, and soccer. In that order. For the past three years, they haven't changed it up once."

Bella looked disgruntled. "No, no, great, hell no, and no."

"Hockey's easy. You go around and beat the shit out of people wearing the opposite color." I thought about the rest in relation to Bella. "Basketball, well, I won't let them near you. We'll smoke up as we run around the field. Soccer… I'll do my best, but I'm not very good at that sport. Volley-ball's not a big deal, I've got you covered."

"How will we smoke up while running?"

"There's a track outside. And near the track are bleachers," I grinned. "We duck behind them, take a few hits, you pretend to tie your shoe… hell, its motivation to do another lap. I've done it before, no one will notice anything."

"I know why you're not as good at soccer."

"Why would that be?"

"There's a penalty if you hurt the other players," she laughed. "Too bad it's not football instead."

"They won't let us play football in class anymore. People were getting hurt too often, they had to substitute with a nice loner activity. Solitary running."

"I don't run," she took the cigarette back from me. "I've done enough running. From people, from cops, from one or two animals. From friends, from an entire state. I'm good with walking. Ambling. Taking time to smell the… foliage."

"Foliage?"

"Plant life," she glanced to the pipe meaningfully.

"Did you want another hit? I can top it off for you."

She sighed. "No thanks. Then I'll want another cigarette, it's a vicious cycle. Besides, Alice and Jasper really are waiting for us."

"Yeah, yeah," I groaned at the thought of moving.

"C'mon," she straddled me horizontally before standing. "I'm excited about your Halloween party. The last major event went well, I'm hoping for better things this time around."

"Better than a bike? I wore that poofy pirate shirt for you, y'know."

"So, no effort required then?" She smiled wickedly and backed her way to my door. "I'll show up in jeans and an overly large t-shirt… some bling to make a statement. I can grab my crotch and pretend to adjust myself…"

I leapt off the bed. Bella provoked my primal instincts, and I knew she did it on purpose. I stalked toward her loving the way she backed up until there was nowhere else to go.

"Alice would murder you," I pointed out.

"She would think it's funny. Halloween is great that way. People can do unexpected things and get away with it."

I grabbed her hips and held her in place. She rested against the wall and crossed her arms. Quirking an eyebrow, she rested her head on the wall so our eye-contact wouldn't break.

"Thinking about you in something so… I don't even fucking know how to describe it. I've already got my costume planned out. You wouldn't wear _pants_, would you?"

"I dunno… it could be a lot of fun."

I lowered my head to her neck and nipped at the soft skin of her pulse point. Moving down, I felt her shiver as I reached her collar-bone. Even lower, I knelt and was still tall enough to run my tongue between her cleavage. Far as I could go before kneeling back, I kissed down her chest, played with the zipper on her shirt with my mouth. Across her stomach, I lowered her skirt so her hipbones were revealed.

"Don't wear pants," I sucked a hickey onto her waist. "I love your high heels and corsets, don't cover that with a fucking large t-shirt. Unless it's mine."

"Okay."

Her voice was husky as she looked down at me. She wound one of her hands through my hair, but not to hurt. Even with me on my knees in front of her, Bella gave me control. I wasn't begging her. I was persuading her, in a dirty way, to do things my way. She'd give in, I wasn't asking for something she hadn't been planning.

"I want some of my shirts back."

"Good luck with that," she smiled. "You just gave them to me."

"Yeah, alright."

I wedged her legs further apart with my shoulders. Before she had time to react, I stood. With my hands on her waist for support, I had braced myself to keep her from falling to the side. Bella was remarkably easy to carry around, I loved taking advantage of opportunities. She tensed, closed her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from yelling. After a moment or two, I rubbed the parts of her back that were reachable with her against the wall, she was calmly able to look down at me. Full trust, she never would have let me do this in the past.

"What would you do if I carried you out of here over my shoulder?"

"I'd… wait until you put me down to unleash _hell_," she glared at my fiercely. "Don't do it, Edward. You know, Jasper will see my ass."

"Irrefutable point," I sighed. "Fine. I won't do that to you now."

The urge was there, but I had no doubt that she'd be pissed. Not worth it. Esme was home, my bed creaked, there would be no hiding what we'd be doing. I stepped back and positioned her so that she slid down my body again. At no point was she in danger of falling, I didn't let go until her heels hit the floor. It felt really fucking good, but it wasn't at an out of control, need-to-have-her-fucking-now level. They still happened, a lot, around her. Yet some of it faded because I knew there would be time to indulge what I wanted.

Instead of becoming bored, I found the patience to wait until we could be alone. Smoking with her got me higher, spending time with her made me feel like an actual person. She didn't need me for anything, frustrating as it was when it came to her and money. Bella could take care of herself in tricky situations. We had dealt with rapid concerns pretty well, in my opinion. Going from one thing to another, I tried to make sure that we had some down time. With all of the hopping we'd been doing, last night had been the first real conversation we had in awhile.

I hadn't expected her to jump at the idea of moving in with me. If she had been too eager, it might have worried me. Practical, as always, Bella felt the need to detail everything we'd need to worry about. She would need to worry about. I really did have access to a lot of money. With everything about me she accepted, getting her to take cash couldn't be that complicated. I just hadn't found the right way of phrasing it.

"Rain-check on the rest?" I smirked, "Alice and Jasper are waiting, I believe you said."

"Are you into matching costumes? What's your take on Halloween?"

"Like… a two-person cow suit? Or… a Pocahontas and John Smith type of pairing?"

She laughed, "John Smith? I don't know. It just occurred to me that today's the last real shopping day. Tomorrow's your party."

"Surprise me," I suggested. "If we match, we'll make it work. And if we don't, that's cool."

"Alright," she opened the door for me. "Since I can't come as a dude, you'll have to be happy with what I pick."

"Always," I took the door and made her go through first.

She smiled at me, but didn't respond. Jasper was sitting on a chair behind Alice who was kneeling in front of the coffee table. Bella sat with her legs curled to the side, also on the floor, but in front of me.

"Ok," Alice had arranged different color papers on the glass table top. "Edward and Bella, you guys are in charge of music again."

"Sweet," Bella agreed.

"Wait," she leaned up so her elbows were in view. "The dance was… interesting. The principal thought so too when we talked the next day in his office. Did I know that the word 'fuck' had been said six times, and the word 'whore' had been used twice before he lost count? Why no, I told him, I was sure I'd asked the people in charge of songs to use _edited_ versions."

"It was a surprise to me, too," I cleared my throat at the uncomfortable silence. Alice was staring at me with no expression on her face. Jasper thought it was funny, but Bella looked horrified.

"Mmhmm…" Alice raised one of her eyebrows.

"Fuck. Alright," I held my arms up in surrender. "I'm sorry. You can't edit 'Closer,' you just fucking can't. That's just… it would be… tell him it was my fault. I'll bring my pipe and the album, we'll sit down together and I'll make him a fucking Nine Inch Nails fan, you'll see."

"Edward," Bella laughed, "you've been strangely… chipper all day."

"Chipper," I snorted. "That bad, huh?"

"I expected to hear, 'I'll burn his office down,' or 'I'll kick his authoritative ass.' 'We'll sit down together…' really?"

"I'm starting to get a fucking complex. I do not sound like that."

"I did notice a certain, uh, friendliness from you today," Alice smirked. "You have a good time last night?"

"Yeah," I sat back against the cushions. "Too bad you weren't free, I'd have helped you with your problem."

Her eyes immediately went to my piercing, which I just happened to be playing with. Her text had said something about her toy being frustrating because it didn't feel like my tongue.

"Unfortunate," she sniffed. "Thank goodness there's tomorrow."

What the fuck? Tomorrow? Time flies fast, sure, but it was only five in the afternoon.

"Keep in mind," Alice continued, "Esme and Carlisle, some other parents, they'll be at the party."

"Hang on a second," Bella looked confused. "I thought this was a school Halloween party?"

"People from school are invited… but everyone in the neighborhood knows they can show up."

"How-"

"They keep their houses open, too," I added before Bella started imagining a parade of people flocking through our door. "Not sure how, but parents and kids tend to work out some silent agreement as to where everyone goes on Halloween. You know how a lot of parents are on the PTA or whatever the fuck Forks calls it?"

"Uh huh…"

"Trick or treating is a huge thing here. So parents of people in FHS keep their doors open for people to hang, watch movies, you know… chill. They go from house to house, get their friends together, and we're their last stop. It's because they live kinda far from us, Alice wanted our house to be included."

"I threw a party our first year here," she took over for me. "And instead of just inviting people we went to school with, Esme decided to have their parents come, too. So now, invitation stands for everyone. Your Dad will probably stop by in his cop uniform."

"And scare half of our classmates," I laughed. "Mike Newton's going to pass out."

"He should know by now," Alice said sternly. "No one brings drugs to this party."

"And people come here voluntarily?" Bella looked dubious, "I know you throw a great party, I've heard all about it. People in FHS… they're, well, they like their substance abuse."

"They like money even more," Jasper spoke for the first time since we'd all sat down. "Buncha gold-diggers, the lot of'em. They'd go stone sober if it meant they'd get to be your friend."

"Some of them started smoking up," I shared a look with him. "I know what you mean."

I wouldn't take the blame for that. My habit was kept a secret until one girl went digging around my bed stand for a condom. That was why I had gotten a lock put on the drawers. The rest of that month had been full of offers to smoke with girls that I hadn't seen with a cigarette.

"I love that you get along with my friends," Alice smiled cheekily. "Both of you. Because come Halloween, we're all going to play nice. Right?"

"Mm."

"Yeah, darlin'," Jasper smiled in spite of himself. "Thick as flies on shi- er… puddin.'"

"Nice save," she said dryly.

"Here's an idea," I moved the layout of our house to the top of Alice's pile of papers. "Why don't we, and by we I mean everyone in FHS, hang around outside. We can have people bring their guitars, keyboards, you know, like karaoke but better. Live entertainment, that way there doesn't need to be music."

"You want Tyler to rap in our backyard?"

"I'll talk to him," I promised.

"I'd get my guitar out for that," Jasper mused. "Sounds like fun."

Sold! Done, I'd have to thank him later.

"Maybe I'll join you," I heard myself add. "I've got a guitar lying around, too."

"Do you know how to play it?" he grinned.

"I can hold my own. You?"

Cocky bastard. I couldn't still be high. What other motive had there been behind pow-wowing with Jasper? Oh, making Alice happy and Bella horny. Right. Some alone time with the cowboy would be good, too. I could find out how inclined he was to leave the state after graduating FHS.

"I've been playin' since I was eight," Jas grinned. "I'll keep up with ya."

"I vote yes," Bella said immediately. "C'mon, Alice. It will be _fantastic_. And after all of the people with talent are done, you and I can set up real karaoke. Your friends will be down for that. Everyone can participate."

"Okay, cool. I never said no, guys," Alice laughed. "We still need music, though. If we close the sliding glass doors, the adults won't hear us. And I think that'd be for the better. So, get a playlist together of songs that you think Esme and Carlisle would like."

"'Werewolves of London,' Bella suggested."

"Yes. Great. Add it?" Alice pushed her laptop over.

"'I Put A Spell On You,'" I said. It was traditional and everyone heard it at least once on Halloween. That and 'Thriller,.' but they could listen to Michael Jackson somewhere else.

"Yep," Alice smiled. "See? I knew you could do it. No Cannibal Corpse to be funny, Edward."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes at her. "I don't see what the problem would be. Look at their name, it's perfect."

"'Devil Went Down To Georgia.'" Jasper. Naturally.

"Thanks! Got that one, Bella? Moving on… food. Esme said she would cook, I'd help, but it was a lot of work last year. Think we should just go with snacks? Brownies and rice-krispie treats are one thing, but cake and cupcakes? We can buy a few packages of those instead, right?"

"Bella and I actually got a start on that."

"Yeah," she nodded. "The bags lined up in the pantry. That was awesome of you. Next time you go… think _bigger_."

"More than-" Bella sputtered. "But-"

"How about 'Sympathy for the Devil.'" It was a great song, she couldn't refute the Rolling Stones.

"Fine," Alice sighed. "Alright."

"Devil With the Black Dress On."

"By?" Alice laughed as she stared at Bella.

"Uh… Jack Off Jill."

"No."

"It's better than 'Girlscout.' I'll play it for you, it's a great song."

I loved watching her go through music. For that brief second, when she first thought of a song, and the resulting need she had to hear it at that moment, she was fucking radiant. So damn excited, no matter what we'd gone through, after she reached for the Ipod, I knew she'd be calmer.

"Well," Jasper paused after the song ended. "That was… you wanted to play that for our parents to hear?"

"It didn't sound that crude when I sang it in my head," she shrugged. "So, no Jack Off Jill, got it. Whoops. She kicks ass and I stand by her, but not for the parents."

"Girl scout. Is that a costume hint?"

"Nope," Bella glanced back at me with a mischievous smile in place. "You'll have to wait and see."

"Speaking of," Alice turned to me. "You're going to be dressing up this year, right?"

"I did last Halloween. Why wouldn't I this time?"

"You also stayed holed up in your room. People only saw you when you were hungry. You'd come out, grab some pizza and candy, disappear back into the bedroom…"

"Well, yeah," I insisted. "Every time I left, some other chick would find their way in. You didn't see me warning inebriated girls away from my room?"

"That's not the impression I got, no."

"Toward the end of the night- Carlisle and Esme were home the whole time. I didn't want to razor blade my door, you know? But I caught Lauren going through my shit, Jessica stripped down and laid in my bed. A few girls who weren't even in fucking high-school yet were checking out my porn. … that's not happening this year."

"No, that _really_ won't happen this year."

That from Bella who was kneeling up with both of her arms over her head. She stretched way far back and rested her head on my thigh. Fucking flexible as hell. I leaned forward so she could lace her hands around my neck.

"Lauren snooped around and Jessica climbed in your bed?"

"Uh…" I could see all the way down her shirt. She kissed me lightly on the lips and searched my face with her wickedly glinting eyes. I had over-shared. Bella was so laid-back most of the time that comments like I'd just made weren't sent through a filter. The warning bells hadn't sounded until I saw her expression darken with planning.

"_I_ still haven't seen any of your… collection." She dug her nails into my chest unobtrusively. I saw pain and deadly intent stored for any female who entered my room without express permission. It was hot, I couldn't lie to myself.

"We'll get right on that," I put my hand over both of hers and pressed down. Her nails were sharp and insistent, she didn't try to pull away. For all sakes and appearances, I was holding her hands over my chest. Hallmark moment, not exactly. Jasper lips twitched, but he didn't make any quippy comments. Alice rolled her eyes at us. Bella smiled, rubbed circles over the marks with her fingertips, and then sat up.

"Edward," Alice said, "don't forget. Hide your stash and anything you don't want people to find. Anyone could show up. Bella will take care of the drunk and snoopy, you keep an eye on your _stuff._"

"I'll take precautions. For you, too. Don't even worry about it." I didn't want anyone rummaging through Alice's room. If something happened to her collages, or if someone saw and made Alice uncomfortable by talking about her art, I'd fucking destroy them.

"Cool," she moved another of her index cards to the side. "Then Bella and I can go shopping. You guys will be okay until we get back?"

"Uh…"

"Sure," Jasper took over for me.

"Great," Alice jumped to her feet and kissed Jas on the cheek. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

"Yeah, but-"

"You'll be fine," she grinned. "Get out your guitar, go hang at Jasper's or something. Bring out the PS3, play some shooter games. There's so much to do-"

"Alright," I laughed. "Go, shop, do whatever you have to do."

"See you soon, babe." Bella left the taste of mango on my lips as she got ready to go. Alice, efficient whirlwind that she was, had everything cleaned up, put the magazines back in place, and was ready to leave in less than five minutes.

"… feel like a cigarette?" I asked, not sure what we should do from there.

"Sure," Jasper shrugged.

Yeah, this wasn't awkward at all. I had no problems talking to the guy, but Alice and Bella were always there to provide conversation spikes. He and I didn't spend a lot of time together. This was the first time we were actually hanging out. It was weird, I wasn't very good with the whole 'be my friend' thing. Lending him my bike, talking about mechanics, none of that required any real effort. If he needed help moving something or fixing his truck, I was around. To sit and talk? I should have gotten a beer or two, what the fuck were we going to talk about for the four hours Alice would be gone? Four hours if we were lucky.

"Get the-"

Jasper closed the door behind him before I could finish the sentence.

"… thanks."

"No problem, man." He looked around, pulled a cigarette out of his pack, and sat on the floor. Utterly relaxed, some of my unease faded. "I've got a twenty if you don't mind sharing?"

"Don't worry about it," I snorted. A twenty for four hits of pot. He was Alice's guy. Not a bad one, either, provided he didn't fucking leave her behind.

Reaching into my drawer, I grabbed the canister of weed and my new pipe. I was still pretty good, but I'd never turn down a smoke break.

"I didn't think you'd be the pot smoking type."

"Yeah, I don't plan on makin' a habit of it. Can't ride high, I wouldn't trust myself drivin' this way. Do you?"

"Do I drive high? Yeah. Kind-of. Not so much anymore."

I wasn't going to tell him why _not_ anymore. If I were high… which was a pretty natural state for me, I had no hesitation before getting behind the wheel. I could handle the car, pot was nothing. It made Bella worry for me, though. And really? It took fifteen minutes to get to her house, thirty on the way to school and back. I wasn't a complete addict, I didn't need to be high _all_ the time.

"Good," he took the pipe I handed him along with a lighter. "I don't know how you do it. Last time, I couldn't concentrate for shit."

"Speaking of," I said around smoke, "you have college plans? What's up for next year?"

Alright, that had… sucked. No finesse. I completely failed at being smooth. Maybe he was high enough that it wouldn't matter to him.

"Waiting to hear 'bout a job. In Texas," he added. "Summer brings lots of work, there's not much to 'round here 'til Fall. The rodeo comes to town there, it's a good way to make some cash of my own. I was thinkin' of goin' back for a few months, see what business is like now." His accent had deepened while thinking about Texas.

"And if it's good?"

"Fuck if I know," he laughed darkly. "Go to college, major in business. Try to _open _business of my own when I graduate. What about you?"

"I've thought about being a hit man, a doctor or surgeon, being a bouncer would be fine. Bella mentioned that I should become a lawyer. I've no fucking clue."

"Sounds like a solid plan," he laughed.

"Yeah," I passed the pipe back to him. "Solid."

"Y'know, I was also wondering what Alice would think about comin' to Texas with me. I don't know what her plans are, though, and I'm not sure if now's the right time to be askin'. What's your take on the situation?"

"I didn't mean to be an asshole. Alice hasn't said anything, anyway. I'm just checking to see how things are between you. She seems happier lately, y'know?"

"Yeah," he grinned easily. "She's not the only one."

"I think, considering she has no summer plans that I know of, you should ask and see if she wants to take that trip with you. It's only for the summer, right?"

"So far. You and Bella are welcome to come along. Like I said, there's a rodeo, there will be a state-wide fair. Good times in the summer. I know some people that could set you up with a hotel, easy. You any good at poker?"

"I'm not really a card player. I make money different ways. With cards everything is up to chance, I don't like the odds."

"Every goddamn thing is a risk," he sighed. "Knowing when to break even, raise the stakes. I've won a lot, lost a lot... gambling saved my ass a good few times."

"Good to have something to fall back on."

"That's my way of thinking."

Silence reigned yet it wasn't awkward. Not that I planned on doing this often, but Jasper was pretty easy to talk with. Normal things that pissed other people off, Jas took in stride. I didn't understand the brotherly feelings he felt toward Bella considering his relationship with Tanya was a wreck… hey, it wasn't any of my business. I didn't care about Tanya enough to talk about her.

"So, I've got a favor to ask of you."

Jasper grinned. "Trade me your bike and you've got it."

"Permanently? Go to hell," I snorted. "I'd be willing to trade for a week if you… let me borrow one of your horses for the night?"

"Borrow one of my…" he lit a cigarette. "Do you know how to ride?"

"Not on a professional level. I worked near Central Park for awhile. A thrift store. Sometimes the stable would hire me to work for them. It was shit pay, literally, but cash is cash, right?"

"Central Park," he laughed to himself. "Was that before or after high tea?"

"Fuck you." I flipped him off for good measure because… well, because he deserved it.

"How long would you want one for?"

"An hour, tops. I want to swing past Bella's, we can go from her place back to the stable. I'll leave my car there, if you don't mind, and we'll head to the party."

"You're workin' on one hell of a costume," he mused.

"Stakes are high. I'm going all in."

"I thought you didn't play cards?"

"Risk's higher on your end," I replied. "No big deal if you're not comfortable with the idea."

"No galloping through the woods, alright? I'll find one for you, nice and docile. He looks like a son of a bitch. Keep him off the main road, try and stay on grass. Don't let him eat anything in the forest. He's trained better than that, but you never know. If I hear that you left him standing around, I'll kick your ass."

"Done."

"Don't just leave him in the- d'you want me to stick around? Brush him down, take care of his tack?"

"I can handle it."

"My horses are…" he took a deep breath. "Don't fuck with my horses, Cullen."

"I won't be high tomorrow. At all." I figured that would cinch this deal, especially after Jasper had mentioned not riding high.

"We can stop by my place in a little while. I'll introduce you to him. We can go over some more of the basics. You wouldn't endanger Bella, I trust you to keep them both safe."

"After we we get straight, you take your truck and I'll take the bike. She's yours for a week."

"Damn straight," Jasper snorted.

"Thanks."

Alice had told me about Bella's interest in the equine. It all fell into place from there. I hadn't planned on taking things so far as to include a living animal, but Jasper was a friend who worked around them. I didn't see any harm in asking.

The stable job really hadn't lasted long. I learned how to ride free because I'd done the work of three people for the salary of one. Alice had come to hang with me while I worked once or twice. When she saw a stallion mount a mare, completely a freak thing, she wasn't keen on learning to ride. Whoops…

I used a remote to turn on my television. The PS3 was already hooked in, I had episodes of 'That 70's Show' on the console. Three or four episodes, maybe I'd bring out my guitar. Jasper would come down from his high and I'd get to go and make friends with a horse. Then I could come home and talk to Carlisle and Esme about the piles of cash in my closet. At least Esme had warning.

I really had thought they knew.

**Authors End Note:**  
Thanks are coming soon as I get home from work. I wanted to upload the chapter for all of you first. So sorry about the long delay.  
A huge Thank You to **Ssherrill115 **from Southernfanfictionreview(dot)com. She wrote an amazing and fantastic review for my story and… you're incredible! Thanks so very, very much.


	36. Boots and Boys

**Chapter 36  
- Boots and Boys**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:  
Bella's Costume-  
**http:/www(dot)bestcostumeplace(dot)com/product(dot)php?id=119308  
(Imagine in dark blue instead…)  
**Bella's Costume 2-**  
http:/www(dot)acephotos(dot)org/c15047389/kristen-stewart-eva-april-2010-photo(dot)html  
(Wow. That's all I have to say. Fucking wow. The shoes are hot, but I needed different ones for my scene.)  
**Bella's Boots-**  
http:/www(dot)nightshadecorsets(dot)com/shoes_boots/boots/electra_3028(dot)htm  
**Alice's Costume-**  
http:/www(dot)costumecraze(dot)com/WEST05(dot)html

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Let It Rock**- Kevin Rudolf  
**Break Your Heart- **Taio Cruz  
**Boots and Boys- **Kesha  
**Love, Hate, Sex, Pain- **Godsmack  
**Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide- **Shinedown  
**Show Me Everything You've Got- **The Rocket Summer

**Bella's Point of View**

"Did you notice? He didn't glare at Mike once today! And he _almost_ stayed in the lunchroom!"

"Whatever this pot strain is," I agreed, "Edward's getting a serious social kick from it."

One of the reasons he didn't go straight for his car and a cigarette at lunch was because I, apparently, needed food. He had taken our talk in his Volvo incredibly seriously. I was able to buy most of the time, but he always tried to be sure I purchased something other than an energy drink. Today I'd gotten an apple; I really hadn't been very hungry. The latest batch of pot didn't inflame my appetite so I was back to my normal eating habits.

"I don't think the weed's entirely to blame," Alice smiled. "He's happy. You make him happy."

"I feel the same about him. It's not just me, though. Carlisle and Esme, you, especially, all of you make him happy, too."

"Yes, but the pieces didn't fall into place until after you came along."

"Gross exaggeration notwithstanding, I thank you for the compliment."

"No," Alice shook her head. "You don't understand. Edward was different before. He… loved us, but didn't know how to show it. So, instead of reaching out emotionally, he used money and favor gathering, presents. It's a little different for me, he talks to me, at least. With our parents, however, not so much."

I had definitely noticed his attempts at substituting love. Alice was right, he hadn't been aware of it. Regardless of whether or not Edward was happy, I didn't think that was _because _of me. He would have accepted it eventually. The steps had already been taken. A safe environment, people who loved him- it was a bitch, but the defenses cracked over time.

"He was always courteous and whenever they ask him a question, he'll answer honestly, but Edward never shared additional information. He doesn't talk about his childhood. At all. Yet you know who Masen was, the stories that go along with him."

I was actually surprised that the trips we'd taken into his past, literally, hadn't made him more anti-social. They were damaging and traumatic experiences, the retelling was understandably difficult for him. He had dropped his guard to regain my trust, which still made me uncomfortable and tingly at the same time. A normal guy reaction would be to shut-down and withdraw. Edward became more engaging because he didn't want to push me away. Maybe since we were both no-bullshit, tell it straight types of people, he felt comfortable sharing because I wouldn't judge? That's why I was able to reveal memories no one else was privy to. I trusted him not to pity or placate me.

"Edward told you about that?" I asked.

"No. Sort-of. He knows that I know, but he hasn't said anything to confirm said knowledge. You did," she grinned before her eyes darkened. "Not a pretty story, huh?"

"That's one way of putting it."

She turned the radio on and flipped it over to her Ipod. She liked happy driving songs instead of energy and adrenaline-laced ones. I could listen to anything and be happy when faced with the prospect of a silent road-trip.

"So… I hear that you're thinking of getting an apartment with Edward sometime in the not-so-distant-future?"

I glanced over, but I couldn't read anything from her expression. "... I was going to bring that up, I swear."

"I'm not mad," she shook her head. "You guys have the strangest honor code."

"Everyone needs something to stick by," I shrugged. "Does it bother you? The whole, me possibly getting an apartment with him? Not that it's happening. We talked about it, y'know? There aren't any real plans laid down yet."

"Why would it bother me? I wanted to see your reaction, that's all."

"I've heard Edward say that before," I laughed. "And my response: your verdict is?"

She quirked an eyebrow at the road. "Could have been better."

"Wow." That had been eerie and awesome at the same time.

"It could have been," she insisted. "Details aside, how do you _feel_ about his proposition?"

"I… don't know."

"Try?"

"Alice, the only thing I've got in his room is a bottle of conditioner. It doesn't bode well for living together considering none of my stuff has made it into his… space."

"And your room?"

"What about it? We never spend any real time at my place. Charlie, you know?"

"No, I meant… Okay, none of your stuff is at our house. What about yours?"

"Of Edward's?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Um… a bunch of shirts, his hoodie. A few of his books. Oh, I lied before. I forgot about the books I lent him. … yeah, I've got a lot of his stuff. Point proven."

I also had his knife on me, I was wearing his ring. Most of his shirts I wore on a regular basis, I usually slept in one, too. It was damn comfortable, what about it? I felt my defenses snap into place and had to wonder why that was my first instinct. Rosalie was in the same boat, I'd have to call her later and see what she had to say. The conversation wouldn't be nearly as pleasant as this one. She was very blunt, to the point. I knew she'd yell at me a little, it was her way. I'd probably curse a lot and yell right back, there was no danger to our friendship, it'd take more than that for us to actually fight about something.

"Why does that freak you out?"

"I don't know. It just… does." I wasn't done yet, there were other thoughts circling in my head. "It does and it doesn't. I just worry that if something happens, the more stuff I have of his, the harder it will be to give them back."

"Edward wouldn't do that to you," Alice said.

"So I'd have to keep them? Put them in a box somewhere, hide it in my closet…"

"Oh my god," she said exasperatedly. "The two of you are so _dour_. You guys keep 'breaking up' with one another while staying in a relationship. I don't know how ya'll do it, but it's exhausting to watch."

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

"All of your 'what if's' and precautions. Edward went through this, too. I think that's why he's so okay with getting an apartment with you." She craned her neck to read a highway sign we were passing. "I have more to say on that, but you'll have to wait a second."

She turned off onto a main highway. We were on our way to Port Angeles. This was actually pretty exciting. I hadn't been to the city in awhile. All of my shopping happened at the Thriftway or online. Something told me that Alice was going to be nothing like Renee. My usual feelings of dread, turning my mind off so I could say, 'yes, that looks great.' 'You look so thin, Mom.' 'I'm sure he'll love it,' in eighty other ways wasn't going to be a factor.

"Insight would be appreciated," I told her.

"Great," she smiled. "Here goes."

She turned the music down. This was going to be enlightening, and a long speech.

"You keep a dark cloud of 'if we break up' hanging over your heads. A relationship doesn't work that way. If all your attention is on trying to make everything perfect, worrying about how you'll feel if something happens… you're not really committed. It seems that… instead of focusing on what makes you guys happy, you're always looking for reasons to split."

"Just in case-"

"Do you love him?"

"Alice-"

"Bella," she interrupted me gently. "Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Then what does it matter? Because of your pasts, this isn't a normal boyfriend-girlfriend thing. It's progressed past that point. I don't even know how to categorize what the two of you have. I'd say soul-mates, but I'm pretty sure both you and Edward would freak right out. Not tough enough, soul mates," she laughed.

"I believe in it," I disagreed. "But I don't think people are limited to one."

"You love someone else?"

"Not like I love Edward, no," I replied automatically. "What I feel for you, Jasper, Rosalie… any friendship that started out strong and has only gotten stronger. What are the odds? How did we find one another? Why did we 'click' so fast? Using your terminology, I believe we're all soul-mates in one way or another. Not destined, but lucky that we found one another. In a situation beyond our control, we all managed to come together."

"That's a strange way of looking at things."

"I know. It's not necessarily wrong, though..."

"Of course not," Alice smiled. "I like your theory."

"See? So it doesn't hurt to look for the 'what if's. It keeps everyone safe.'"

I wanted a cigarette. This hadn't gone exactly as I'd thought. Edward and I were fine, I wanted to know about her and Jasper. So much time had passed, we didn't need to spend so much of it talking about my hang-up's and trust issues. Not that I had trust issues when it came to the Cullens.

Alice didn't smoke and I didn't want her car to smell like cigarettes. There was no hint of it now, which meant that Jasper probably refrained from lighting up in Alice's vehicle. I could do the same.

She was thinking. "True… but not entirely."

"But-"

"Let me backtrack a little. Back to the apartment thing, it'll tie in, I swear."

"Shoot."

"We moved around a lot, Edward and I. We had homes, but they were always temporary. Not group homes, they were never anything except another place we'd have to escape. We were placed with families, but I knew that my true home was anywhere Edward happened to be."

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Alice looked confused. "What are you apologizing for?"

"I've been monopolizing a lot of his time. He's home to you and-"

"Psh." she made a face. "This was a long time ago. My point was, we've had so many places, Forks is the end of the line. We're done searching for a home because we've got one with Esme and Carlisle. A relationship worry is taking the step from dating to living together. Edward doesn't have that hang-up because-"

"You guys have moved so many times that anywhere can be home?"

"Exactly. What's another place, you know? Especially since we, he, knows that our parents will be here, that he always has a home here no matter how many other apartments or whatever he inhabits. Just as you have a home with Charlie."

"He did mention that," I remembered. "Edward said something like, we can pick up and go whenever we want, no matter where we are. And it baffles me because… to me, life doesn't work that way."

"Unless you have the money to make it happen."

"Which I don't. Once I find a place, I wont have the funds to break the lease because I want to live somewhere new. It's either an apartment or college, not both. And I fully intend on having to work to support myself because, as I said, it's one or the other. If I get a place, I'll have to work to get myself through school. Nothing's cheap, you know? And if I pick college, I'll have to work and save up before moving out of my Dad's house."

"Bella," Alice chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Edward's not Scrooge. He can make things easier for you, if you'd let him help. You say it's either-or, but he has a _lot_ of money."

"Yes, I'm sure he does."

"And you want no part of it?"

"He fought for that money, literally. Blood was shed, he put it away to save for emergencies and back-up plans. I'm not comfortable waltzing all over his pain. How can I let him put a down payment on an apartment that I don't contribute toward keeping? What do I say, 'Thanks, Edward, for almost dying in order to make sure I can go to school?'"

"That would be a start, yea," she laughed. "It would ease his mind a little. I don't think he understands why you won't let him help. I think there's a part of him that wonders if you're going to break up with him once school ends. Why else would you be so adamant about not moving in with him?"

"I said yes. Why would he think I'd break up with him?"

"You said yes?"

"Um, not definitively… but I did say I'd think about it, and lean more toward the yes side as I considered _our_ options."

"All of this worrying and you said _yes_?" She pounded on the steering wheel, but smiled while doing it. Not like Edward's anger, she laughed with relief.

"Seems like."

"Oh my… you both are…"

"Forget about us for a minute," I desperately wanted a conversation topic change. "How's Jasper? What have the two of you been up to?"

A change of subject seemed to be in order. I felt a little better about my decision, but I had no intention of changing my mind about the financial aspects. Why couldn't anyone see how wrong it would be? People had abused Edward all his life. Some of them had used him for the money he had. Like when he had put a down payment on an apartment for the woman who went back to her pimp. I wanted him to know that I loved him, and respected him, because he was an amazing person. If that meant that I'd need to fight this out with him, well, that's what I would do.

He still thought that buying things for people was the only way to show love. I wanted him to know that it didn't have to work that way. I'd love him if we were both poor and eating Ramen to stay alive. I didn't need him to give me an easy future; books, college, an apartment, clothes… they were nice, incredibly generous of him, but I had worked for what I wanted all my life. Just because he was rich and could afford to buy me a new truck, an I-pod, whatever else he thought would make my life more comfortable… it didn't mean that I could just _let him_. I had nothing to give in return. Money meant a lot to Edward, he made that very clear. I didn't ever want there to be a time where he'd realize how much he had done for me, with not very much coming back _from_ me. It was a huge responsibility, taking care of someone. He and I were equal partners, at least we had been so far. I wasn't going to let the scale tip now.

He might know that I loved him, but I wasn't going to be another girl in his stories who took from him without giving anything back. Every other relationship Edward had been in ended that way. Why was it such a huge deal that I not do the same? I'd have to ask him about that later.

Alice smiled just thinking about Jasper. She made a dismissive hand gesture and shook her head. "We're not there yet. Just think this part over, okay? Edward knows you're not staying with him because he's rich. You keep trying to hammer a point home that he knows already. He mentioned that to me, specifically. You wont let him buy you things-"

"He has so." I sounded like a two year old.

"Name one thing."

"Pot."

"Doesn't count," she took her eyes off the road to shoot me a look heavy with meaning. "He was a huge marijuana fan before you came along. And he'll probably be smoking way into the future. That was actually to his benefit, he doesn't have to smoke alone and talk to himself anymore."

"He used to talk to himself?"

"Don't tell him I told you that," she giggled. "He'll be pissed."

"No problem. The secret's safe with me."

"I know you're good that way."

"Thanks…"

"You can't keep answering 'pot,' anyway. You've used that excuse two times with me before."

"Yes, but-"

"And besides, Edward's normal. Tell him he can't do something and he'll be more determined to make it happen. Especially since he loves you. Out of everyone in his life, me included, you've jumped to the top of his list. So, really, since it'll happen eventually, you should let him win now and then."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Alice. You know, it'd be easier if you took my side."

"I did," she grinned. "And now, for you, I'm taking his side."

"That's really strange logic."

"Whatever works."

"… _now_ are you going to talk about you? I've been dying of curiosity. Have pity, will you?"

We were approaching Port Angeles. The miles had flown. Partly because Alice had been speeding, but mainly because we'd been talking the entire time. It was weird for me, I wasn't the most talkative person ever. She made conversing easy, painless. I loved the way she looked whenever Jasper was mentioned. So happy, as though nothing could be wrong or ever go badly. They just… were. No hang-ups or awkward moments like Edward and I had sometimes. It was nice to know that every now and then some people worked. Soul-mates indeed.

"And then some. You were shocked when I told you about my virginity. …I'm not anymore. It happened a few weeks ago."

"I figured that," I cleared my throat. "I mean, you guys have been pretty, uh, close."

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't tell you before now. I was going to ask you for tips or whatever but I didn't want to make you feel… I don't know. And Jasper hinted that if there was anything I wanted to learn, it could be from him. I was going to tell you _after_, you know, share the news? A day turned into two, then three, a week went by. I tried to bring it up, but I kind of wanted to keep the news to myself… not because I don't trust you, just…"

"No, I absolutely understand. With everyone talking about who they're sleeping with at FHS, I'm glad that you enjoyed it to the point where it stayed a private thing. That's how it should be, right? Nothing's private anymore. You and Jasper aren't just hooking up. You're so much more than that. So it makes sense for you not to talk about it right away."

"Exactly," she beamed. "I knew you'd get it."

"Take all the time you want. Sorry for pushing the matter, I just wanted to be sure that everything's cool."

Alice giggled. "That was then, huh? I've no intention of talking to anyone else about it. You're different, not like my other friends. And you're dating Edward. We're best friends, at least I see you that way."

"Don't say BFF," I laughed.

"Aww. I heart you, Bella," she snickered. "I'd make the sign, I know you _love _that, but I'm driving. You're lucky."

"Really, thank goodness for that."

"Ok," Alice said in her shopping tone. "Where do you want to start first? The more commercialized stores, you know, French maid costume, the slutty Disney princesses, police woman, cowgirl, so on and so forth."

"Or?"

"There's a store that I know about-, it might be sold out of costumes by now, but they have rarer outfits to choose from. They're not handmade, exactly, and some of them are a little more expensive…"

"Sure, why not? Sounds fun, whichever one you choose."

"Thanks, by the way," she added, "for getting Edward to participate this year."

"That wasn't my doing."

"I don't think he'd volunteer himself without a little help from you."

"I promise, Alice, whatever Edward said he would do… it wasn't because I manipulated him into it. You're talking about the fact that he's going to be out and around during the party?"

"Yep."

"Yeah, that wasn't me."

"Huh," she went quiet for a minute. "Nice change, then."

"Was he really that anti-social? I've noticed that people tend to avoid him in school, but he's not the recluse everyone keeps warning me about."

"You've never seen Angry Edward."

"I've seen him pissed off," I hedged.

"No, you've seen him irritated. There were days he'd walk around in that mood for the entire day. No one would talk to him because Edward made it clear that he'd swing first and talk later. Hence his reputation."

"They just didn't know how to deal with it. Edward's not that scary. He can be, don't get me wrong, but if someone stood up to him…"

"Edward would rip their head off?"

Well, yeah, okay. I wasn't exactly looking forward to confronting Edward if he was ever enraged. He really wasn't the asshole that everyone seemed to think.

"Mike Newton?"

"Is an idiot," I finished her sentence. "But Edward had plenty of opportunities to kick his ass. Mike's still walking around."

"And you think none of this has to do with you?"

"Why would it? I really haven't been back for very long. Any major changes you've seen with Edward came purely from him. How could it not? Maybe it's coincidental and you've just noticed the differences now."

"Doubt it," Alice snorted. "But have it your way, for now."

"It's impossible to win an argument with you, you know that?"

Alice laughed. "The two of you aren't the only ones capable of deflecting questions. ..to add one more evasive technique … we're here."

I glanced through the window automatically. "Uh…"

"They do it on purpose," Alice reassured me. "It's a costume shop all year round. Why go all out for Halloween?"

"I can appreciate that."

My eyebrow wouldn't go down. I had been to some pretty strange places, but going into a warehouse without any windows? The building looked like it had once been an adult movie store. Whomever owned it had improved on the plain stone walls, but nothing could banish the feeling of sleazy sex from the parking lot. The door, even. Heavy, painted black… this had definitely been one of those peep-show places. Inside, however, was a completely different story. I was in awe from the moment my heel landed on a plush oriental rug. Decorations of all kinds hung on racks all over the first room.

"Alice Cullen! Little late for Halloween shopping, no?"

"Hey, Greene," she smiled and waved.

Behind a high counter, which confirmed my porn store theory once and for all, a man in his forties was dressed as the Mad Hatter. He wasn't bad looking, a little old for my taste, but the costume really suited him. His eyes were sharp and direct, a deep shade of gray, the effect was less intense due to his easy-going smile. Possibly close to six feet tall, it was hard to tell because the counter threw my estimation off.

"You throwing one of your parties this year?"

"Of course! We're not using many decorations for this one. Christmas, on the other hand, I'll buy everything you have."

"That's what I like to hear," he chuckled. "You're here for costumes, at least, right?"

"Where else would I go? I brought a friend of mine in this time. Bella, this is Greene, he convinced me to come and look at his place when we first moved in. It's the only place to go for party accessories and things like that. He can get anything you want. Greene, my best friend Bella."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely.

"Same," he nodded at me. Studying me for a moment, "There are better costumes all the way in back. Go straight there, you'll find what you're looking for."

"He's never wrong," Alice told me.

"Doesn't that sound familiar," I smiled at her.

Each room had a different theme. Larger than it looked on the outside, I counted five rooms not including the one behind two swinging, Western saloon doors. Elizabethan, Victorian, Medieval, there were dresses aplenty through the first door we passed. Doublets, packages of tights, the codpieces made me laugh, men's costumes were on the right wall. Hats, canes, crowns, scepters- all of them were on tables in the middle.

The second room housed fantastical creature costumes. Fairy wings, glitter, he even had realistic flower chairs spaced underneath the clothing. So much brighter than the historical room, it was an explosion of color. His buccaneer selection was incredibly impressive. I had to stop and browse through a few of those. Two pirate wench costumes caught my eye. They were so intricate, I had never seen costumes like these before. Not genuine, there was more than one for sale, but they weren't a normal Halloween store selection. I loved this place already.

Onto the fourth, I laughed loudly and had to cover my mouth.

"Yeah," I heard Greene call to us from the front. "People are weird."

Animal costumes. This room held one, two, and three-piece costumes. Cat ears, dog snouts, pig noses that kinda creeped me out, cow masks, he had everything stocked. Horse shoes, attachable, and working, cow udders.

"Gross," I touched the soft rubber and poked one of the udders.

"Ew!" Alice giggled as she pulled on one of them. "It can really hold milk!"

The three-piece horse costume was interesting. It was designed so that two people made the head and back. The middle part had a saddle hooked into it so that someone could ride the three of them around. Fucking weird. More traditional costumes hung on the walls that connected each room. A French maid, there was a good and bad witch, an angel, a demon, Darth Vader, Family Guy masks. A Dominatrix outfit caught my attention, too, but I couldn't show up to a family Halloween party dressed like that.

The saloon doors were in view. We stepped through and my eyes immediately went to the shoes. Thigh-highs, cute Mary-Janes, ankle and boot length… this was my favorite place Ever.

'Oh my god," I gasped. "That's it."

I rushed over to the mannequin and was almost afraid to touch the dress. It might be the wrong size. What if it didn't fit me? It was probably unspeakably expensive… I fucking loved it. Would Edward? Most likely, especially since I'd be so happy wearing it.

I had done the innocent thing before, though. This dress, however, was different. Elegant, stunning, a little naughty. The dark blue color would make my pale skin glow. I wanted it. Costumes had always been my weakness. This one would eclipse all of the rest.

"It's beautiful," Alice agreed. "Buy it before someone else does. One of a kind's like that don't last long. I'm surprised it's still here. Try it on, at least!"

"We can? Where?"

Alice unzipped the dress and had it off the mannequin in no time. I wouldn't have been nearly that proficient.

"Greeeeneee?" She didn't add any urgency to her voice. The guy was pretty muscled, I could see him bounding over the counter in order to rush to our aid.

He appeared a moment later.

"I didn't bust my ass to make this place look good just so I could pass my displays all day," he handed her a set of keys. "If you want something, walk to the front. Marvel at my genius."

"But I do that already," she smiled. "Thanks!"

"I wanted to see your costume anyway," I motioned for him to turn. He did with a flourish of his arm, I laughed at his impersonation of the Hatter. "Very, very nice."

"Thank you, milady," he glanced to the dress Alice was holding. "You all have fun. Just-"

"Put things back where we get them, I know," Alice interjected.

He bowed low to her and tipped his large top hat at me, I saw the mischief in his eyes. Owning a costume store, it was a good life decision for him. His off-the-wall energy would be wasted elsewhere.

Alice handed me the dress and the keys. "Go through the doors, turn left, go down the narrow corridor and pick any of those rooms. That's where you can try things on."

I followed her directions exactly and found the changing rooms. They were clean, orderly, I liked that Greene had installed lights that could be adjusted. Black curtains covered white-washed walls; video-booths, that's what these had been. He had hung one floor length mirror in each stall. I quickly stripped, thankful for the lockable door, and examined the costume.

Shirt first, dress second, waist-cincher third. Got it. Putting it on wasn't difficult now that I understood how it worked. And fuck me if I didn't fit. The dress was made for someone a little taller, but all of the measurements were right otherwise. I actually liked that the skirt was longer than it should have been. It left a whole new selection of shoes for me to pick from. Dim lighting, fluorescent, the dress looked good in all of them. I had double checked to be sure. This was an important event, I wanted to look my best.

The door next to me closed. "It's me," Alice announced herself. "We picked a good time. The last rush just left. It's usually really crowded, you know?"

"Find something fantastic?"

"I think so." There was a loud thud, Alice cursed and laughed.

"You okay?"

"Banged my elbow. Yeah."

I twirled in the mirror not being able to help it. This dress was perfect for things like that. The skirt billowed out without exposing anything I'd be embarrassed about. It was also easy to raise, I really liked that.

The door next to me opened, I vacated my booth and stopped short in the entry.

"Alice!"

"Wow," her eyes widened when she saw me. "It was meant to be."

"Thanks! I love the Western theme. Very cool." She wasn't a cowgirl or a Pocahontas. Alice had chosen a saloon dancer costume. The skirt was ruffled and black, raised high over her thighs with a cool cascade of fabric in the back. With black stockings and some high heels, it would be amazing.

"You like?" She smiled wickedly and adjusted the sleeves so that more of her cleavage was exposed.

"My opinion won't matter once Jasper sees you," I laughed. "Oh my _fuck_. He's lucky I don't make a play."

"Shut up," Alice giggled. "It looks okay, though? It's not too slutty? I'm going to put a longer black skirt under it… you know, until it doesn't matter."

"It's risqué," I corrected. "Not slutty. It looks more than okay! What shoes are you going to wear? Do you have accessories to go with the other skirt?"

"Accessories are covered," she smiled and brought my attention to her cerulean necklace. "Jasper got it for me. What better way to show it off, right? I can get a matching feather for my hair, I'll borrow one of his dress cowboy hats, black. What do you think?"

"Perfection. Absolute perfection."

"So, because you're complimenting so highly, what'll it take for you to let me borrow a pair of your boots?"

"Constructive criticism," I replied.

Her brow furrowed. "For what?"

"Is this costume too similar to the one I wore at school? The Halloween dance, I mean."

"Hmm…" she walked two small circles around me, one in each direction. "I don't think so. The only similarity is the fact that they both have long skirts. This one's much darker, sexier, the other fit the dance theme. Especially after you came back with Edward from the parking lot, virgin sacrifice; there are before and after pictures."

"I wanted a cigarette," I flushed. "That's all."

"Maybe, but Edward wanted something else. You and he were out the door in point two seconds," her eyes were bright and knowing. "Both of you missed the yearbook nominations."

"No we didn't," I paused. "Speaking of, how would a person take their name out of the running?"

"Yours?"

"Mine and Edward's."

"It's possible, but there wasn't really a vote. We passed around papers and people filled in the answers themselves. We didn't give any options to pick from. Whoever had the most votes, they're the ones everyone will officially pick from."

"So… we can't?"

"You could," Alice hedged, "but you're only listed in one category. Best Couple, and you're running against me and Jasper."

"So take the win, it's all yours," I insisted.

"Most likely," she smiled with no traces of competition. "Lauren has pretty good odds of winning. Jessica would, but few people vote for her when Lauren's in the picture. They're friends, you know? It's down to me, you, and her. If you win and I don't, or vice-versa, then she doesn't."

"Isn't she a friend of yours?"

"I don't appreciate what she said to you about the dance pictures. She took them from my bag when I wasn't looking. Nobody steals from me. So, no, she's not a friend of mine anymore."

With that, Alice and I bonded even more. I felt bad that I had cost her a friend, Alice felt badly that I had been hurt by one of hers. Combined, we had a fierce grudge against Lauren. This side of Alice I had rarely seen. Flashes when we watched movies and bad things happened to her favorite actors and actresses, but never for something like this. Her anger was raw and merciless.

'Nobody steals from me.' Huh. I could relate to the feeling.

"Want me to kick her ass for you?"

"If she wins any of the major categories, maybe. I'm helping, I'll borrow Edward's steel bat."

"Well… alright then," I smiled and side-hugged her like Rosalie used to do with me.

We had the makings of a plan, I'd be ready whenever she was. This was friendship as I knew it. I would have Alice's back no matter what she chose to do. I'd be damned sure that she wouldn't be hurt should it come to fruition. If _Alice_ was upset, there was definite cause and justification for beating the hell out of whomever caused her pain. Edward couldn't exactly help seeing that Lauren was female, I know it would bother him to hit her. He'd do it, of course, without hesitating, but I knew it'd grate at him for awhile. Luckily, I had no problems with hitting anyone, female or not.

"We've decided then?" Her anger faded and she did a few can-can steps to put herself in a better mood.

"Seems like."

"You look fantastic," she smiled at me. "It's nothing like the other one."

"Meant to be, huh?"

"Yup," she nodded. "After we change and buy props, we've got to go lingerie shopping."

"Sweet. I've been meaning to do that."

There was still a few sets to choose from, but Edward had seen most of what I'd collected. A few needed to be discarded, but I'd never begrudge him for it. I loved when he looked at me, blade in hand, gentle and rough at the same time, freeing me from anything in his way. That was incentive enough to do some more shopping.

"Good. Edward told me to make sure he paid for anything you buy there. He didn't want to push his luck with your costume. I think he said something like, 'Bella will want to buy that on her own. She's not going to let me buy something that she'll wear for me.'"

"Wait a minute. Something that she'll wear for me? Really? Arrogant-"

"Bella," Alice laughed at me. "Edward has a costume in mind, too. And he's wearing it specifically to make you happy. He's got an entire plan, don't flip out over bad phrasing."

Okay, so normally I'd have kept quiet. There was something about Alice that made me share my thoughts as they happened. Maybe because she did the same thing, I felt as though I weren't sharing enough.

I wasn't really upset. That was the purpose of Halloween and naughty undergarments, they were worn for someone else. I loved Edward's arrogance, but it was fun sometimes to pretend I was annoyed. He'd get even more cave-man, we'd fuck with one another, and then we would come to a compromise.

"Yeah, I know. Instant reaction, sorry," I apologized. "It doesn't change anything. If I'm wearing it for him, I should purchase it. That's what he said, right? So that means nothing we buy today, aside from food, can be charged to him."

"It's the first step. Let him do this for you and you'll have leverage in the future…"

We went back to our dressing rooms. I was definitely buying this dress, no need to look for anything else. Alice was borrowing boots from me, I had shoes to wear. All that we had to do was pick a few accessories before meeting up with Greene at the register. Easy, it hadn't taken hours; I could learn to appreciate shopping, Alice was really good at it.

"You're manipulative as fuck," I said loud enough for her to hear.

I had agreed to keep my name on ballots for Best Couple. That wasn't exactly a small thing. I didn't like crowds or a lot of attention focused on me. If Lauren won… fuck that. Alice and I were so much better than her, I wanted to see the look on her face as Alice won everything.

She was right about the leverage thing, too. If I allowed Edward to buy my lingerie, which he had planned to do for awhile, I would be under no obligation to let him pay for anything else. I could use that as my bargaining chip for months.

"With the best intentions…"

"Yeah, yeah," I snorted. "Nicely played."

"Thanks, I need to keep up with you and Edward somehow."

"I won't underestimate you, no worries."

"You're funny," she laughed. "There's no need to underestimate or overestimate. We're friends. No war when it comes to friendship."

I stared at myself in the mirror and was surprised by what I saw. No dark lines of fatigue under my eyes, my skin was still pale, but it was healthy looking. I had gained a little weight, yet I had been underweight before… whatever, I'd start yoga and exercising again. Sex with Edward would solve problems, fuck counting calories. For the third time in less than an hour, I caught myself fantasizing about him. I had _just_ left him, it really hadn't been that long. It wasn't as though we didn't spend enough time together.

I bit my lip and blushed within the privacy of my changing room. What was happening to me? Why did I like it? Is this what love was supposed to be like? Glancing in the mirror- yes, I suppose it was. I looked… happy. My eyes were bright, my cheeks were naturally pink, something blush could never do. I looked at myself through my eyelashes and wondered if this was what Edward saw whenever I had a dark and sexual plan for him.

"Need help? You okay?"

"I'm good," I replied. "Be right out."

I gathered the costume and folded the waist-cincher over the top of my arm. The mirror caught my attention one last time. Instead of slouching over, both hands near my pockets or crossed in front of me, I had my head up, my back straight. It was a nice change.

**o. o. o.**

Now, in another changing room, I ignored what was going on around me. My self-esteem wasn't so low that I needed to wait for a bathroom stall to be free. I could put gym clothes on without flinching and doing the 'crouch over, hastily put my shirt on underneath the shirt I was wearing' move.

My palms were damp. I hated gym class. The hockey nets were already set up. In Phoenix, every other school I had attended, there was always a day where the Coach would explain sports rules. They'd pass out badly printed pages with rules and penalties. Not here, apparently.

I avoided talking to anyone as I sat on the cold gym floor. The clock above the double-doors that led to a hallway and freedom told me I had fifty-seven minutes to get through. Edward was supposed to sit in the front section, but he came out of the locker-room and looked straight at me. Students were seated by last names, in four rows on the right side of the room, we were waiting for warm-ups to begin. Two hockey nets were set up on the left. Two more were waiting to be assembled once we were done with push-ups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks. Those I could handle. To get from the guys locker room, Edward had to walk past the nets. I enjoyed the view more this way. He was wearing a dark blue undershirt, black shorts, black sneakers. His hair was tousled, probably from bringing the shirt over his head, putting a new one on.

Very nice mental image. He took stock of everyone sitting and walking past him, some he lingered on, others he passed over right away. I knew he was judging for potential team-mates, it was a good strategy. Get all of the heavy-set players on our side, we wouldn't have to worry about them gunning for me.

"You look nervous as fuck," he greeted me.

"Hello to you, too."

"Relax, babe," he rubbed my shoulders. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, alright?"

"It's irrational, I know. Don't care, can't help it."

"Hey," he ducked so that I had to look at him, "You've got my back when there's a fight. You can hold your own, that's all I give a shit about. So what if you're afraid of flying… balls."

He chuckled. I laughed, it was so immature, but it made me feel better regardless.

"I'm not afraid of… gym," I raised an eyebrow of him. "There are better things I could be doing with my time, that's all."

Everyone was where they were supposed to be. I felt energy in the room shift, we were going to start soon. Fifty minutes left.

"Cullen!" The coach's voice made dread curl in my stomach. "Front and center. We have assigned seating."

"Bella hurt her ankle," Edward lied smoothly. "I'm helping her."

I kept my eyes on the floor. Nothing betrayed a lie like the second party glancing at the first in confusion. A hurt ankle, I could work with that.

"Let Newton do it, he's sitting in front of Ms. Swan, where he belongs. Take note from him."

Edward's snort wasn't loud enough for anyone but me to hear. His eyes darkened with irritation and determination, but his smile was still non-threatening.

"My medical training is a little more extensive than Mike's. Ankle bones are fragile, I wouldn't want the Chief to visit FHS because of an easily avoidable accident."

I kept my head down so that my hair covered my face from view. Everyone would have seen me smiling, Edward had this situation under control.

"Liabilities," I heard the Coach mutter.

The class waited, Edward looked as though he didn't care either way, I held my breath and tried to look pained. It wasn't that difficult.

"Fine. Help Ms. Swan to the bleachers, she can sit today out."

"Thanks," Edward stood and took hold of my arm to help me rise. I stuck to his story and kept all weight off my left ankle.

"Bella," I turned as the Coach called me. "Next time you're not feeling well, talk to me first. I don't want any injured people on the field. Don't try and be tough. This is gym class, not a championship game. There's no need to change if you're sitting on the sidelines."

"Sure," I had to close my eyes as Edward picked me up. My arms went around his neck automatically, all of those practice sessions where he'd haul me around came in handy for moments like these. "Thank you?"

"Warm-ups!" A whistle blew. "On the floor, I want to see twenty push-ups!"

"You took this a little far, didn't you?"

"No," Edward climbed up four rows of bleachers before setting me down. I saw Jessica and Lauren staring, most everyone was. Yeah, it was damn impressive. It was even more impressive because Edward didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing. He lifted one hundred and twenty-five pounds on an incline all the time. Sure, easy. I rested my cheek near his neck and squeezed with my arms so he'd know that I appreciated this display. After today, anyone who thought about tackling me, wrestling me to the ground, anything like that… Edward couldn't have chosen a better protective front.

"I didn't expect him to let you sit today out. You got lucky, I think hinting Charlie would show up set him off."

"Yeah, mentioning my Dad tends to have that reaction."

"And you don't use it to your advantage?" He sat a row below me and rested my foot on his knee.

"Mention him too often and they might tell him I've been name-dropping. Then he'll think something's wrong, you know how that goes. You don't mention Carlisle or Esme unless you need to..."

"Perceptive as _fuck_," he swore. "Slide to the end of the bleacher?"

I did what he asked. Edward took my ankle between his hands and massaged it gently.

"Sit-ups!" The whistle made me glare. Were they really necessary? He was certainly loud enough to be heard all over the school. "I want to see forty of them! Hustle, people!"

"Edward…" I cleared my throat. "My ankle is further south."

"It would be remiss of me not to check the entirety of your leg," Edward smirked. "At least that's what I'll tell anyone if they want me to leave you. Blame Carlisle, that's how he'd say it."

"The Coach is going to say something if you don't get your hand out of my shorts."

"I'm checking for muscle knots. Calm yourself, if I wanted to do something inappropriate you'd know it."

His fingers slid higher on my inner thigh, he groaned low in his throat when he felt the silk of my panties. Rubbing up and down my leg, he unconsciously was moving closer to me so that I needed to spread my legs wider in order to make room for him.

"Checking for muscle knots on my right leg now?"

"Just being thorough." Innocent voice, I knew why he wasn't looking me in the eyes. He wouldn't be able to hide his dark satisfaction at being able to fondle me in front of the entire class. His plan had taken a new turn, one that we both appreciated.

"Fucking tease!"

"Helpful," he corrected. "I saved you from hockey, remember?"

"Costume idea. Hockey player or doctor?"

"Nope."

"Related to sports or the medical field at all?"

"No again," he crooked grinned. "You really hate surprises, huh?"

"I don't hate them. My curiosity gets the better of me, I hate waiting for something I can have right now."

"Even if it's worth the wait?"

"Even so."

"You've got less than four hours before you see my costume."

"Yes, but that's not all I want right now," I tensed my thigh muscles and made sure that he felt it. "Can't you tell?"

"Beginning to," he glanced up at me.

His eyes were very blue, serious and yet playful at the same time. This was the side of Edward I loved most. He was a naturally cautious person, most of what he said had been thought out and honed for best vocabulary usage. Moments like this, when I said whatever came to mind, challenged him to best me with a public audience- that's when he reached full creative potential.

"Cullen! Fancy doctor training or not, I want you warmed up and ready to play some hockey!"

"Of course, Coach. Just-"

"No more excuses. You're changed and prepared, give me four laps around the gym!"

"Fuck," Edward sighed. "I'll be right back. Keep your ankle up."

"Bella Swan? If you're in that much pain, I suggest you visit the nurse's office. After Cullen's done his laps, he can help you get there."

"Would you rather wait here or there?" Edward's question was quickly delivered, we didn't have much time for conversation.

"Here, unless you'll be able to stay with me. We can cut out for a smoke break, maybe?"

"Too far," he shook his head. "We wouldn't get away with it."

"Cullen!"

"Then here, definitely."

"Okay. Yeah, I'll be right back. Don't answer him, he's just trying to get me to move."

Without saying anything else, Edward bounded down from the bleachers. His sneakers squeaked on their shiny hardwood flooring. Stretching a little, he started at the corner closest to me.

There were blue and red lines on the floor. I didn't know enough about sports rules to know what they were for, but the blue line formed a square border for the floor. It was a track of sorts, Edward didn't cut any corners as he ran laps.

Again, great view. Not breaking a sweat, Edward raised his eyebrow at me the second time he went around the rectangular room. Much as I enjoyed watching, this was one of the reasons I hated gym. On display for everyone to see, I would have been flushed and mortified inside. Once the Coach realized how bad I was at sports, he'd make me run laps all class period long.

His third pass got me an irritated eye-roll at the situation. The fourth caused a light sheen of perspiration to break out across his forehead. It was because he pushed himself, I had noticed that Edward maintained his speed and regulated his breathing. The class did jumping jacks, and was still doing them as he stopped in front of the bleachers again. He really was very fast.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good. You?"

"Eh," he propped one foot up on the bleacher. "It's Gym. Got the adrenaline going, though."

"Sexy."

"Thanks. Lean over here for a second. I'm going to be called any minute now."

I didn't know what he meant. Getting up wouldn't be good what with Edward's hastily concocted plan. Coach didn't seem to be the type of guy who'd be okay with deception. Leaning forward, I met him halfway. My tongue slid across his lip. I tasted my mango lip-gloss and the saltiness of his sweat.

"Thirty push-ups, Edward! This isn't a dance, it's a gym!"

"So worth it," he assured me. "He doesn't want me to play hockey cold. Don't kill him."

Huh? I was glaring, thank goodness Edward was blocking me from view.

Playing hockey cold? I put his statement together slowly. Because Edward had missed the beginning gym routine, I watched wide-eyed as he executed said push-ups without pausing. Jessica nearly came, Lauren pretended not to be watching, Mike rolled his eyes. I smiled. He had no problems with attention. I didn't, either, so long as he was around. Being confident was one thing, feeling so many people's eyes on me for a long time, it made my skin crawl.

With his muscles taut from the warm-up, his eyes bright with physical exertion, he looked amazing. I didn't realize how starved for masculinity I'd been. Thanks to Edward, I was overdosing and so very happy about it. The feeling was… strange, but very good. Pleasure, arousal, pride, happiness all mixed into one giddy sensation that made my stomach warm and cold at the same time. Not freezing as in frozen with fear- I knew the depth to which Edward would go to keep me safe.

Gym class and hockey notwithstanding, it wasn't like the stories of love I'd read as a kid. There was part us both that was cold, hard, and ruthless. I loved him even more for it because it resided in me, knowing that his surpassed me, his limits were further than mine; I felt truly safe. He stood and cracked his knuckles. Our eyes met.

"Hold that thought," Edward said and took off. I had been watching him and preoccupied at the same time. What had he decided to do in the two seconds it would have taken me to say something?

He spoke to the Coach for a few minutes. They both glanced over at me. I bit my lip to keep from fidgeting. My nerves screamed with the force of containing my new insight. I wanted him to know! I needed to tell him! Everything that Alice had said suddenly made sense. Mixed in with her advice, I heard Charlie's voice in my head. Renee's, too, back when we were close friends. Rosalie didn't need to say anything, I felt her exasperation that it had taken me so long to figure out.

Over all of that, even if the voices of conscience disagreed with me, I knew nothing would stop me.

"Here," he handed me a small notebook and a pen.

"What? … how?"

"Told the Coach that you wanted to take notes since you weren't playing, it got you some credit," he shrugged. "I saw the look on your face, it's your 'I need to write something down _now_' mood, right?"

"… yeah."

"Just make sure you write a few hockey related things in case he checks. Before we change, tear off three pages after what you've written in case-"

"He's really, really curious and tries to shade it in?"

"Of course you'd know," Edward grinned. "Be back soon."

Teams were called, they were given odd and even numbers so that no one had to withstand the humiliation of being last picked. Two or three guys on the school's hockey team groaned as they looked over their players.

The energy wasn't the same. Words weren't going to work this time. I needed to have a real conversation with Edward, the kind he had with me. He'd say what he felt without me interrupting him. That's what I needed to do.

The Coach went over basic rules. I took a few notes. The diagram I drew, which I'd purposefully leave in the notebook, had circles for where people started. A puck in the middle, I made different shaped bullets in each of the circles. Next to them, in a list at the bottom, I wrote where people should stand, the role they played for the team. Scoring went on the next page, what penalties there were.

"Basically, you get the puck from here… … to here. You, guard him. You, guard the goal. You, I know you're not sword-fighting with my hockey sticks!" Coach glared at Mike before concluding. "Don't let them get past, score goals, win the game."

He blew the whistle twice. Edward and Tyler faced off. There had been no question about it, a quick look had been shared between Edward and the real hockey player.

"No roughhousin'! Keep it civil, people, or join me in detention after school." He quickly met the eyes of every student in the room. "Ready? Pooossitttions!"

Edward glanced down at the puck. Meeting Tyler's eyes, he smiled darkly. His body language became more aggressive.

The whistle blew again.

Tyler was shoved to the side. Edward dodged two people, passed it to… what was his name? The only real hockey guy on their team. Whatever. Didn't matter. Edward had it again, Tyler slammed into him but Edward had passed it back. Neither of them fell. They glared at one another, Edward rammed his shoulder imperceptibly into Tyler's. Separating, Edward smiled as his group scored a goal. I grinned at him, he looked over at me. Pretending I had pom-poms, I gave him my best ditzy impression. He laughed aloud and rolled his eyes at me.

They set up again. Real Hockey Guy was front and center this time, Edward was guarding him. Tyler was gunning for him, I could tell. The two of them kept inching closer, knuckles whitening on the hockey sticks, I had never found the sport so interesting. They smashed into one another. Edward pivoted and sent Tyler reeling to the side. He smirked over his shoulder, ran to catch up with the puck being passed to him. Another goal scored.

Sticks were slammed down onto the ground. Edward looked pleased with the way everyone played. I couldn't see Tyler's expression, but judging from his hunched shoulders… he was pretty pissed.

Before the whistle had blown, Tyler lunged at Edward and the puck. I saw Edward's smile of victory, easily hidden by ducking his head. Edward braced himself, he stopped Tyler's momentum and flung him backwards. Tyler's sneaker skid on the gym floor, a gray mark was left on the shiny wood. He fell to one knee, glared, and pointed at Edward.

"Penalty!"

"Fuck penalty," Edward slashed his hand through the air. "You sucker-fucked the puck!"

I laughed and couldn't help it.

"I what? Fuck yo-"

"Penalty, your team," the Coach said to Tyler. "Edward, time out. Five minutes."

Edward smiled at me as he walked over to the bleachers. "Told you I'd be back soon."

"Sucker-fucked?"

"Yeah," he replied seriously. "Like, going to sucker-punch someone only to find that you've fucked it up. Jumping the gun, in other words."

"Nice. I like it."

"Tyler's pathetic and punched me like an asshole. I knew he'd do it again. Couldn't resist taunting him."

"When did this… feud start?"

"Uh… awhile ago, you know?" He was very interested in the hockey game all of a sudden. I stared at his shoulder until he twitched and crossed his arms.

"How long ago?"

"Not too distant past," he evaded again.

"Alice mentioned that you and Tyler had fought in the parking lot. The day we… bonded in the hospital. Did you and he have problems before that point?"

He rubbed his chin. "I wasn't his friend or anything. We didn't talk to one another. He stayed out of my way, I stayed out of his."

"Until…"

"He crossed my comfortable personal space line," Edward snorted. "Then I kicked his ass and made it clear that I could do it again.'

He smiled and uncrossed his arms. Unspoken communication, I knew he wasn't irritated. Amused, he knew I wanted an answer. He was going to tell me, but his careful phrasing gave weight to his words. There was something that embarrassed him about what had happened.

"After that, I high-tailed it to the hospital to make sure Tyler hadn't crushed any of your internal organs. Unsteady fucker."

So, to answer my question; no, there hadn't been any previous grudges held. We watched the game together in silence. He moved up a level to sit next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and processed what he had said. My feeling from before was still the same. Stronger, maybe, there was no chance it'd fade into 'I'll tell him next time' retreat Was I that emotionally repressed-? Obviously. I had been going about this relationship in entirely the wrong way. Just because Edward was street-smart, that didn't mean we weren't normal people. We had worried about what we should do, what we should do better, what we weren't doing. Neither of us had been paying attention to what worked.

And we, in all of our miscommunication, despite seeing eye-to-eye on everything, had exactly what Alice said. We were looking for reasons to end things so that we could conquer them. I was happy with what I had, Edward felt the same. Why did we need to keep pushing for more?

"Thank you. You know?"

"No problem," he smiled warmly at me. "You let me buy your lingerie."

Alice and her irresistible manipulation.

"About that. I don't want that to become a habit, but… I've accepted that people buy things for one another when they're in a relationship. I can see why you'd want to, especially after Alice and I hung out. So, as long as you don't go to extremes- by a regular person's definition- do what you want to do."

He looked amused, then serious, then neutral. I knew that wasn't a bad sign, either. Moving his arm, he rested his hand on my thigh so that his fingertips rested just underneath the hem of my shorts. "Good shopping trip, huh?"

"Oooh yea," our conversation lightened. "I hope we don't clash too badly. Will you tell me what color you're wearing at least?"

"Black," he said finally.

"Pirate? Ninja? The Headless Horseman?"

"Nope," he narrowed his eyes at me.

Huh. I had stumbled onto something here. Pirate, Ninja, the Headless Horseman. Probably not the third, it was too random. Edward wouldn't cover his head for the night. I had plenty of time to think it over.

"Hmm. How many ways can I irritate Coach without actually pissing him off? Keep track for me?"

"Cullen! Five minutes are up, get back in the game!"

Edward saluted him and walked back across the gym.

Seven. By the time class was over, Edward had managed to exasperate the man seven times. Tyler got two time-out's. I realized Edward's game toward the end of class. The Coach wasn't a normal person, he couldn't be charmed as most could.

By challenging him, without insulting him or being intolerable, Edward was slowly making him a friend. Well, as close to friends as one could be with a man who spoke through his whistle. He played at the Coach's strengths, which were basically used to motivate students into action.

Edward, in a rare show of team playing, worked well with Real Hockey Guy. The two of them rotated the stronger players on their team so that everyone had a chance to score goals. They'd block oncoming opponents, guard the weakest teammate so that he or she had time to get a point. The Coach really liked that. It's part of the reason he stopped yelling 'Cullen!' each time Edward came over to talk with me. This much progress in a single class period, I marveled at Edward's kind manipulation.

It was seeing him succeed so effortlessly that made the thought of him being a bouncer so… not right. He could, literally, kill in the business world. For any job, he'd destroy or befriend anyone who got in his way. Alice said it was because of me, but he had set all of this up himself. Not for me, Edward did it naturally. He wanted an ally in the Coach, now, in an hour, he was close to attaining one. Knowing that I wanted to get on his good side, Edward had helped. So yea, partially for me; he was considerate, I hadn't instilled that in him.

"See?" Edward wiped his forehead with a corner of his shirt. He was breathing heavily, happy in his exertion. My eyes were stuck on the flash of pale skin, the chiseled corner of his hipbone, before his shirt covered the area.

The Coach blew his whistle twice, one longer one made everyone stop.

"Now we've got an established routine, Jeff and I have things under control. Tomorrow, if you play, you won't have to do anything but guard the guy who's guarding the guy who's guarding the goalie."

Jeff. That was Real Hockey Guy's name. Good to keep in mind, I liked to know the names of people I might owe.

"Coach?" I caught his attention as Edward helped me down off the bleachers. "Thanks for the notebook."

"No problem," he pocketed it. "Good to be a team player. I like participation."

He waited until I had passed before blowing his whistle. That was nice of him. "Good class, guys! Go change!"

"Like Angela?" I had remembered seeing her once or twice. She had barely moved the entire game, and she had seemed very happy about that.

"Exactly. Notice how there was an empty spot on the other side? Saved that position for you. I'll keep them away."

"Edward-"

The silence stretched, his eyes darkened. Lust, instant and all-consuming, it happened whenever he looked at me like that.

"I'll change you real quick and meet you in the hall? We should have five minutes if we hurry."

Eight minutes left of class before first bell rang. That gave us five minutes to make out in the hall. Edward glanced down at my lips after he opened the girls locker room door for me.

"Yeah. But Edward-"

"See you in two."

It was Halloween! The day and night of mischief and magic, all manners of fun. I had new insight to questions that hadn't stopped plaguing me. Thanks to Alice, and Edward, and possibly the full moon tonight, I was more clear-headed than I'd ever been. And, for the first time ever, the prospect of gym class wasn't freaking me out.

I wanted to thank him properly. Feeling his body hard against mine, pressing me back into the lockers. The salty sweetness of his lips, metal of his piercings, I wanted to feel his fingers hard on my hips as he moved me against him.

He took off across the gym and pulled his shirt off before he'd gotten through the doors to change. Fuck me. Two minutes, I'd meet him out there. He seemed to feel my impatience, there were things I wanted to tell him. If I could kiss him for more than three seconds, he'd know what I meant to say.

The actual words could wait, I'd learned my lesson.

**o. o. o.**

The rest of school was uneventful in comparison with Gym class. All Edward and I had time for was making out. After-school had been busy with everyone swarming us, Alice, and Jasper with party comments. He and I pulled over in a would-be secluded spot, but there were too many cars driving past for us to do anything more than put one seat down.

I was hot, bothered, twitchy, and I really hoped that my costume was going to work. Thanks to estate sale shopping, I had a small chain-link purse. It was the only one I owned. I might have given in to shoes and clothes, but pocketbooks… I wasn't there yet. That's what my jackets were for. All of them had a lot of pockets, some I had widened to fit a normal-sized book.

Charlie was working an afternoon shift, but he promised to stop by the party. I told him he'd be free to take as many pictures as he wanted so long as I wasn't aware he was taking them. If I hadn't agreed, he would have left work early to be sure he was home on time. It would bother him, I knew, to leave before the end of shift. What were a few more pictures?

_Clink… clink… clink, clink._

What the hell? Something was hitting my window. I drew the curtain back and couldn't do anything more than stare.

Horse. There was a horse standing in my front yard. There was a black, saddled horse standing on the grass in my front yard. Like dreams I'd had as a kid, I raced down the stairs and carefully opened the front door so that I wouldn't spook him away. I walked over slowly, the horses ears flickered towards me. Good sign, he wasn't pawing the ground or snorting while shaking his head. There wasn't a lot of white showing near his eyes, I took that as another sign that he wouldn't lunge at me.

"Hey there," I murmured quietly. "What are you doing here… boy?"

His nose was soft, like velvet. He pushed at my hands until I stroked his cheek harder. I watched his hooves, he could break my foot if he stepped on me hard enough. Couldn't go to a dance with a cast on, I'd have to stop wearing my heels for awhile- yeah, I was cautious.

"Wow."

I made a really girly sound as Edward dropped out of my tree. My heart pounded in my chest, I felt frozen and wide-eyed, yet I continued calmly petting the horse. Go figure.

"Edward?" I knew it was him, but seeing him… a black mask covered most of his face. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt, tight fitting black pants. Black shiny boots rose to his knee, they had fake spurs attached at the back. Sweeping the black Zorro hat from his head, Edward bowed before me.

"Who else?"

"I… don't know. When I looked out the window, all I saw was the horse."

"You didn't hear the pebbles? Oh, tell your Dad I'll re-gravel his driveway. I threw, like, twenty of them. He might be pissed."

"He won't care. ... You threw pebbles at my window?" That was one of those romantic things that I was still female enough to appreciate.

"Yeah... I didn't think you heard them. So I decided to scale the tree again. Except… then you were outside, and the horse moved. Didn't want to tell you, but I almost fell on top of you there for a little while."

I smothered laughter. Wearing the mask, I couldn't tell if Edward was embarrassed, irritated at himself, or disgruntled with the situation altogether. "That would have been one hell of an entrance."

"These boots," he made a face. "Not for climbing."

"Your panther-like prowess," I smiled and batted my eyelashes at him, "didn't hear a thing."

"Are you outrageously complimenting me so that I overlook the fact you're laughing at me? Again?"

"… of course not! You love me, remember? You got me a horse!" I stepped around to the other side of said animal. "And… you know that I'm not laughing _at _you. Would I do that to you?"

"I don't know," Edward patted the horse's back as he came to my side albeit in a different direction than I had taken. "You're running again."

"I was admiring the horse's tack."

"Mmhmm."

"Besides, you're not armed. I'm not afraid of you," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I've got a sword," he grinned.

His costume was incredible. It looked authentic, embroidery on the shirt and all. He didn't, however, have a sword buckled to his hip.

"I'll bet you do."

"Really," he crooked smiled at me and stopped the chase. "It's back at the stable, couldn't ride with it bouncing against the saddle."

"Speaking of," I kissed the horse's nose, "… great surprise, Edward."

"Yeah, well, Alice hinted that you liked horseback riding. Solved my Halloween costume dilemma."

"Glad to be of help," I curtsied. A real, court-style, 'if only I had a full skirt' curtsey that made his eyes sparkle.

"You do know how to ride, right?"

"Yes," I barely prevented myself from doing a snoopy dance.

"Good," he cupped his hands. "Mount up, if you want."

I sat in front of him this time. He handed me the reins and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Happy Halloween," Edward kissed my neck.

I turned to smile at him. "Happy Halloween to you, too."

"Let me paraphrase Jasper's absurdly long list of rules. We have to keep Snakebite, yes, that's his name, off main roads. No hard pavement under his hooves. And, in the woods, make sure he doesn't eat anything."

Edward was completely relaxed, he kept his balance without leaning into me. I wouldn't have minded either way.

"Um," I took us through a path in the forest. We were just passing the meadow, Edward hadn't spoken again. "Anything else?"

"Not really."

I laughed. "What happened to the list? You only mentioned two things."

"That's because," he said close to my ear, "you're not pulling on his mouth, your heels are down, you haven't let him pick at grass, we haven't hit a gallop yet, and we're going in the right direction."

"Oh." I would have felt dumb, but Edward's tone wasn't condescending at all.

"Yep. Points for you."

He made me laugh again by using one of my phrases. Edward's fingers were at my waist, he spanned my hips. I could feel his curiosity before he spoke.

"Surprise for you later," I clarified. "Don't peek, okay?"

"I should have known," he laughed, groaned- a combination of both sounds, I loved making him do that.

It might not be as impressive as his surprise had been, but when Edward told me via text that he hadn't ever received a lap-dance before… I had put a Playlist together. The boots I wore didn't exactly go with this dress, but they went perfectly with the outfit I was wearing underneath the costume. My skirts were long enough that, even if we didn't get any alone time, no one would notice that I had on thigh-high boots. Edward had felt the second layer, but I hoped his imagination and experience level wasn't good enough to know what I had on underneath already.

If he had never gotten a lap-dance, chances were he hadn't experienced what I had planned for him later.

**Authors End Note:**  
So, once again, I need to apologize for the long wait on this chapter. I'm in sunny Long Beach, California now. Moved from NJ, hence the long absence.  
Well, I can't say 'moved' because I technically live in two places. Have an apartment and a roommate in NJ, and an apartment and a roommate here in CA. My lease wasn't up yet, not until next August, so provided my jobs work out- I can commute every few months. It's insane, it all happened very suddenly, but the opportunity was more than I could resist.  
The computer I'm using isn't like my old one, it's slower and doesn't like split-screening. I'll have to add thank-you's to the reviews on FF in the actual review box. Sorry, guys. But yea, I'm in Cali now and loving it! Got here two weeks ago, I'm getting settled in, I've got another three-quarters of a chapter written in my note-book so that should be up soon! I've missed all of you! Hope I didn't lose anyone, =/.


	37. Love Addict

**Chapter 37  
- Love Addict**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
Jasper's Costume- **http:/cdn2(dot)team-twilight(dot)com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/0043te5g(dot)jpg  
(Because who could resist this picture?)

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**Blood Music- **Zeromancer  
**Stop The Noise- **Zeromancer  
**Rearranged- **Limp Bizkit  
**Love Addict- **Family Force Five  
**Pretty Rave Girl- **I Am X-Ray!  
**Enter Sandman-** Metallica

**Edward's Point of View**

I got home before Alice.

"Edward," Carlisle sat next to me on the couch. Esme was sitting across from me on the single sofa. "How long have you been hiding… twenty-five _thousand_ dollars… in your closet?"

"From the third day we moved in," I admitted.

"Where did it come from?"

"Street fighting and a gang."

"Anywhere else?"

"I didn't kill anyone for it, if that's what you mean. I've told you that before, though."

Carlisle's eyebrows rose, he stared at me for a second in poignant silence. It was deserved. I had dropped a lot of bombs on them over the years, this wasn't a bad one.

"We worry, not because we think you're a murder- er, felon, but because… that's a lot of illegal money."

I fought the cold feeling away. Nice of him to change his phrasing. The part inside that was capable slowly warmed. It took far less time lately, I wasn't sure to be happy about that or not.

"It belonged to scumbags. Nobodies," I tried to explain. "Cash that I won fighting… well, I earned it. Gang money, not that I didn't earn that too, but it's clean enough for the kinds of jobs I took."

He was quiet for awhile. I didn't get that hollow sensation in my stomach. When I had told him I'd been in a gang, when he realized that I came with a probation sentence, - those times I had been worried they'd say fuck it and kick me to the curb. If they were willing to stick with me after that, there wasn't much else that would sway them. Besides, money was good. From a practical point of view, never mind a parental one, it could be useful to them.

"How much did you come here with?" Sitting next to me, yet facing me, Carlisle rested his chin on his knuckles. He quirked an eyebrow at me questioningly, he wasn't interrogating. I knew his Doctor side was going through all of the information.

"Forty-five or so. That includes whatever I restocked my account with. All small transactions. There's a paper trail, but it's legitimate. If anyone looks into things… I have tax forms and documents stating that I've gone about everything in a legal way."

"Of course." He glanced at Esme, I saw his expression soften. The crease between his eyebrows disappeared. Pride? He was proud of me? Covering my tracks was second nature… I felt the strong urge to reach for a cigarette. Wasn't going to happen, but I didn't know what to think of that emotion. Carlisle looked proud of… what?

Before I said something stupid, he looked back at me and let the silence stretch. This I was okay with, he was neutral again, calm. "You didn't think, maybe, we could help you?"

No anger from either of them. Worry, concern, confusion; they were what they'd always been when it came to issues in my past. What parents should be. Carlisle's questions, similar to the ones Esme had, were proof that they hadn't held any in-depth conversation before I went to find them. Esme had wanted Carlisle to form his own opinions. I always really respected that about them.

"I honestly thought that you knew. It's not something that I hid on purpose."

To them, I didn't lie. Since they were my official guardians, and they had done Alice and I a huge favor- my mindset of long ago- I had done my best to tell them the complete truth. That way, if something were to happen, they would never say that I'd withheld information or lied about things. They defended me, I wanted them to know exactly what they were defending.

"When we moved in and I tore apart the closet… I figured you knew why."

"We thank you for the credit," Carlisle said, "but we thought you were, I don't know, doing whatever was necessary for you to make the room yours."

"I was. But you saw me building storage under the carpet…"

"Edward," Esme spoke up. "You were a teenage boy with sexual experience; we didn't think you'd appreciate us inquiring about any… storage spaces you were building."

"Oh. For porn. No, that's mostly on my computer," I laughed. "That's what you thought it was for?"

Carlisle smiled tolerantly. "Yes."

"Sorry," I apologized. "Um, it's difficult to explain. Would you mind if I showed you? That might help. You know about it now, I really did think you were aware. You might as well see it, if you want to, that is."

"Sure," Carlisle stood after I did.

My room was clean, everything was well hidden. Alice had put Bella's costume into her closet, I put my pipes and weed inside of two hollow books that I hid behind other books on my shelves. The closet was well-organized. Hoodies on shelves to my left, where the shelves ended I had hung my jackets and vests. Trench-coats, anything leather, I had put on hangers along the wall in front of us. Jeans, too, I had a bunch of those. Shoes were in hanging bags on the right wall. Some of my boots didn't fit, those and my dress shoes were lined up on the floor underneath the bags. There was a lot of empty space. I had put a bureau in the middle, it held important papers and notebooks that I'd kept over the years.

"This might take a minute…" I hadn't thought about this in awhile.

Where had I hidden…

Standing, I stood by Carlisle and Esme at the doorway. Four places, I'd have to redo the carpeting later tonight. It wouldn't be difficult. If someone got into my room during the party, and then entered my closet, I didn't want to have the equivalent of neon arrows pointing at the- Fuck it. I'd hide the money somewhere new. If I didn't get around to fixing the floor, there would be nothing to find should someone look. Easily solved.

I grabbed a knife from the back of a hanging shoe bag. Esme cleared her throat quietly. Yeah, I know. She was right. It was a pretty obvious place. Underneath the bureau would have been the first place I'd check, hence why I picked the second searchable place. On the occasion I would need it, I hoped to gain some time that way.

I hadn't hid the money underneath the bureau, either. In the shadows behind it, yes. My knife ripped through the carpeting easily. Hell yes, it did, I took damn good care of my weapons. Sliding my hand underneath the rest, I felt for the latch I'd put into the flooring. A flat one, there was no tell-tale bump if I walked over it. Releasing the trigger, I slid the planks of hardwood down and to the side. They slid out of place easily, I piled them in front of my shoes. I pulled out three metal safety deposit boxes.

"Do you, um, mind if we… move them?"

"Move them? Move them where?" I kept my voice light.

"Out of the closet and onto your bed, maybe. This is a small area-"

"Sure, whatever," I said once I realized what he meant. With the party tomorrow, I didn't want the boxes to be out in the open. They could take them wherever the fuck they wanted. "Yeah, sorry. Sure."

Okay, location two, where the fuck are you?

"Er," I hesitated before asking, but, this was already strange enough. No need to be impersonal. "Would you mind opening the door wider? I need more light to see from here."

Esme moved to the side so that Carlisle could get through with the boxes. She pushed the door open, light spilled across the floor. As I had thought, the shadow formed behind the bureau outlined the first hiding spot. From here… the shadows tapered off from the two uppermost points. Turning counter-clockwise, I found the next location. I moved my longest trench coat out of the way and cut into the carpet underneath it. Same thing, different place. I lifted the two larger security boxes and took them out of my closet. They were heavier, I didn't want Carlisle moving those when I was fully capable of doing it myself.

"The keys," I took out my key ring. Carlisle had put the boxes in a row on the floor. I placed the key that would open each one on top of its corresponding box.

"Is that it?" Carlisle knelt on one knee next to them and looked at me non-judgmentally.

"Uh, not quite." Going back into my closet, I stepped over the planks and moved my shoes out of the way. A flash of green caught my eye. I lifted a pair of dress shoes and took cash from inside them. The top bills were marked with a B. Son of a bitch. I laughed in spite of myself. How long ago had she left them there?

I knocked on the wall a few times until I heard a hollow sound. There. I switched to a different knife and cut into the wall. It took a few tries, but after I'd gotten it started, the plaster came away easily. A book-bag of cash. I had disguised the other side of this wall by hanging a medicine cabinet. If I hadn't been listening for it- the cabinet made the wall sound filled in. Were someone to knock as I had, there was a small chance they'd miss it. I knew that it was unlikely, someone that intent on finding what I had to hide- they would notice the difference. Still, it made me feel better. Imagined or otherwise, I slept better at night. It was an important thing, sleep.

Adding the money Bella had left, I came out of the room and dumped the cash onto my bed. It seemed like a lot, but most of these bills were in twenties. This was the bag from underground fighting. A lot of bets were made with twenty-dollar bills.

By the time all of the boxes were opened there looked to be nearly thirty thousand altogether. I must have miscalculated somewhere down the line. Some of the bills I had stacked in groups of hundred, others thousand. None of the bills, thank fuck, had blood on them. More symbolic than any of my tattoos, the cash that was in neat piles all over my carpet stood for years of my life. I had nearly died, a few times, for… this?

There should be a lot more. Even with what I had spent, the memories I had… somehow, in my head, the cash covered the ground. I really could call and get another fifty grand. Should I? I might feel better if I could see what it looked like altogether. The money was mine, technically.

"Edward?" Carlisle was worried. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just thought… never mind. This is all of it."

"This," he repeated my disgruntled tone. "You're… very rich, Edward."

"I can't believe all of this money's been in your closet," Esme sat on my bed and rubbed her face. "There's too much for us to transfer into an account."

"That's why I've been doing it slowly." I said.

"Do you feel… safer with it near you?"

Carlisle missed some of the bigger things, but his experience with people allowed him to grasp emotional problems. He might be a little more formal with me, and that was probably my fault. If I were… warmer, maybe he'd stop searching for what I was feeling and go more with what he felt.

"Well, yeah," I admitted. "I kept it with me for years in New York, managed to get it out of the state. I hid it here, it's been here all this time. Um, once I showed you, assuming you don't have any Swiss accounts, I was going to hide it again."

"This wasn't the best timing," Carlisle agreed.

"With all of the people that'll be by later," Esme paused. "Thank you for showing us."

"Of course," I replied. "After tomorrow, we can talk again… if you want to. There's a lot, I know, but it's safe here. No one's coming for it."

"I don't understand what that means." Carlisle looked tense again. Fuck. I was trying to simplify things, but Alice had always been able to explain in a way that put people at ease. I tried; my way always seemed to have the opposite effect.

"You know about our life before we were adopted. There were a lot of things on my mind at the time. How to keep us safe, in all ways. That included making sure that the money I made was… investigated."

"You worked with a police force?"

"… no…"

Fuck.

"Um, I just meant that, uh, I went digging for information. What their reputations were, how much they pulled in, what they were involved with. If I was sure I could get away with whatever I did, I took the opportunity."

"Thorough, as always," Carlisle mused.

"Exactly. And, like I said, if I went for a job, I made sure that my tracks were covered. No threat, I was 'dead' and gone, or away and not worth the expense to find me."

"Have you thought of, maybe, taking me up on my offer of psychological help?"

I kept my expression neutral.

"Not because you should be medicated, but because- you don't feel it would be beneficial to talk to someone about your experiences? It might alleviate some of your… anxiety."

"I'm not anxious," I dismissed that part. Anxiety wasn't something I suffered from. I had seen kids curled on the floor, shaking, because they didn't want to face whatever was behind the door. What kind of 'parents' would it be this time? Better, worse? Could it be worse? Yes, it could _always_ be worse. Still, nerves had never plagued me. I had never been one of the people on the floor. Not for something that wasn't physically hurting me. I was a pretty calm motherfucker. If it weren't Carlisle, I might have been offended.

"How many weapons do you have hidden in your room?"

I hesitated before answering his question. It was a personal thing, asking something like that. Like asking a shy chick where she kept her sex toys, I just assumed every new place I walked into had at least three concealed weapons.

"… eight?"

"Not including the ones in plain sight?"

"Then…" I glanced at the places I could remember. Under the rug near my door, five were on the bookshelves or somewhere in the books on them, one hidden behind my stereo, three on my couch from where Bella was playing with them. Two hidden under my bed, a bat in the corner- did a hockey stick count? Technically, no. It could be used as a weapon, but if I included all of those things, anything could be mentioned. Brass knuckles and chains all over my dresser.

"A lot," I offered.

"But you feel safe here?" Esme didn't look hesitant, she knew that I did.

"Of course I feel safe here."

"If the weapons were removed, how would you feel then?"

"I'd be fine." I paused. "Wait, how many of them? All of them? Um... yea, it'd be fine."

Fuck it. I was down to the point where I didn't mind if the front door was unlocked, during the day. If I took all of the knives, chains, spikes, and blades out of here… not much would change. Maybe it would be different after the fact? Like moving and realizing that it's happened once you're sitting in the empty room… I'd retain what I kept on me normally. It'd be fine. That wasn't anxiety talking, it was caution. People who weren't prepared tended to end up worse off than someone who was. Anxiety my ass.

Carlisle laughed.

They really had gotten better at accepting things like this. I didn't know if that was a good thing. Better for me, but what about them?

"So we'll look into a Swiss bank account," Esme said.

"A lot of your friends have them," I added. "Those accounts aren't just for criminals and crooked politicians."

The idea was fine by me. I'd make a few calls to make sure I had backup money waiting if I needed it, but having money safe, in a legitimate account, was comforting. I really didn't buy very much. I'd keep six thousand around in case of emergencies. My credit and debit card could cover the rest.

When I compared the two options, and realized there was no need to panic, I really was okay with whatever was decided. Having this much cash lying around, comforting as it was, also meant that I was just that much more guarded. Because, well, there was a lot to guard. With it off my mind, knowing that I had thousands in plastic, I might not be so twitchy about having people in my room. Seriously, my porn collection aside, the only other thing I hid was my weed and pipe. And with marijuana being legalized everywhere but the East Coast, I didn't think it would be very long until I could keep my pipe and bud out in the open.

"Oh," I had to add, "I appreciate your concern for my mental well being. A psychologist, no matter how trained, won't be able to help me because… I'd never trust them with the truth."

Carlisle and Esme nodded, the same reaction though neither looked at the other. It was strange. Nice.

"The group homes made us talk to licensed counselors. Well, after I got caught fighting. I'd rather not be in a position where someone has the authority to lock me away because of the things I say and think. I've been diagnosed with a bunch of things. None of them are right. At least in my opinion."

"I noticed that," Carlisle said. "Sociopathy, bipolar disorder, manic depression, hypomania. Other things pertaining to your past…"

"Yeah," I interrupted carefully lest he mention Masen's name. "So you can see why seeing a psychologist wouldn't work."

"Talking to Bella Swan does," Esme said. She smiled to herself when I ran a hand through my hair. I reached to the front of my shirt for my pack of cigarettes, but I had thrown that on my bed. I wasn't going to smoke in front of them. Fucking involuntary reaction. Really did want a cigarette, though. A history of substance abuse, they could add that to my list of things wrong with me. Pot and cigarettes weren't bad on anyone's scale, no one I had associated with. They weren't _good_, but they weren't terrible, either.

"I talk to her," I admitted. "But, you know, I talk to the both of you, too."

Carlisle and Esme looked at me. At exactly the same time.

Jesus Christ. "So, uh… I'm good. Before I put all of this away, either of you need cash for bills or shopping?"

Esme snorted. It was my turn to look at her. Had she really just… "Thank you, but no, Edward," she raised one of her eyebrows. The sight made me smile, it suited her.

"Gguuyyss!" Alice's warm hello sounded from the living room. "It's almost Halloween! I come bearing presents!"

Oh thank Fuck. Perfect Alice timing. For any Hallmark moment in the making, I liked to escape before they happened. "Presents?" I opened the door and ushered Carlisle and Esme out of my room. "You guys love presents! Alice? How'd the shopping trip go?"

I closed the door behind me.

"We'll talk about this after the party?" Esme touched my arm as she moved past me.

"Sure, of course. I'll keep it safe until then. Hidden well. No worries," I thought of Bella and grinned.

"Great, it was great!" Alice looked bright and happy. No one could resist her in this mood, everything else paled in comparison to her happiness. I took four bags out of her hands and, seeing the flash of black and pink lace, I kept the smallest bag hidden behind the others. I wasn't sure what our parents reaction would be to seeing Alice's lingerie.

"Bella and I had a _lot _of fun. You're going to love her costume. She looks so… ethereal."

"Where do you want these?" I asked. "Are there any more?"

"Those two," she pointed to the ones in my left hand. "They need to go in my room. No peeking, I did some early Christmas shopping."

"For who?" I smirked at her. What 'Christmas' shopping had she done at a costume store? More importantly, what had she helped Bella pick from the lingerie section?

"None of your business," she replied primly. Pointing at my right hand, "Those can go into the living room. Presents for all! These, too. Hurry up! I want to show you the awesomeness that is Greene!"

"I feel like ice-cream," Esme said randomly glancing at Alice knowingly.

Alice's face lit up even more. I took the rest of the bags so that she could go and make sundaes.

"While Edward takes care of the bags, anyone else feel like a bowl?"

Yes! My entire body lurched at the thought. "Ice-cream would be great," I said instead.

"Great," Alice grinned. "I'll make one for you. Thanks for helping with the stuff!"

"No problem," I was going to leave most of it in her room. Aside from the ones she had mentioned specifically, I didn't want to see any naughty Jasper costumes. My room was right there… I really wanted a bowl of something else, but that could wait until later. It was definitely happening, I didn't give a shit. If I had to get through an entire day of school without pot, I was going to be fucking flying tonight.

And later, I was. Smoking up in my room, listening to music… it dawned on me. Carlisle and Esme were what parents should be. I was an asshole.

The whole time, the whole fucking time… which made me think briefly of Bella and her 'Invader Zim' quotes, which then made me think of the hospital. This wasn't something I'd be ready to tell people soon. Usually I'd have gone into Alice's room, or I would have texted Bella, but this was something that Carlisle and Esme deserved to hear first.

I had it wrong the entire fucking time. Masen had never been my father. Part of me had realized that. It was why I hadn't referred to Esme and Carlisle as anything other than that. Not because I wanted to hurt their feelings, or because I didn't feel that they deserved it- I had been trying to keep all of my negativity for the words from them. All of the hatred I'd had toward the word 'father' should lay where it belonged. With Masen. He didn't fucking deserve the title, I'd never think of him as my… anything, ever again.

Elizabeth, at least, with all of the money I'd inherited, had been some semblance of a mother. Sure, she closed the door when Masen was beating the fuck out of me, but- fat fucking chance- maybe she had been hiding money away for me as it happened. Probably not. But cash did count for a lot, and I knew Masen would have… killed her had he realized there was some in my name. Fuck if I was ready to go digging around in my past, yet part of me still wondered how Elizabeth had died.

She was ill, yes, but was it possible that Masen killed her for that reason? He had uncontrollable rages, sometimes he had become infused with it- the kind I felt when I was on PCP- and he didn't seem to remember what had happened. Though, the second beating I got because I sneered at him for not remembering the first, despite the physical evidence… he was a bastard either way. Fuck it, I mentally shrugged. It was all in the past. They were both dead. Whether I questioned it now or later, the answers would still be the same. I was too high to be worried. It was Halloween.

**o. o. o.**

Carlisle and Esme were both gone when I woke up, but I didn't have much time to talk as it was. I was stopping by Jasper's before school to practice once more before the Halloween party. His skill with the guitar was better than mine, not that I'd ever let him know it. I hadn't touched the instrument in a few years. It felt really good to be playing music as well as listening to it. And when I told Jasper about my costume idea… the fucker laughed at me.

What the fuck other costumes were there that included a horse? Anything Western was out, Jasper walked around as a cowboy. Dressed as something else, anyone attempting an accent would have to contend with his real Southern drawl. I wasn't going to be wearing tights anytime soon. Not even for Bella was I going to be putting on a pair of brightly colored 'hose' that exaggerated my cock. It didn't need any exaggeration. Pants were good, I'd go so far as to include shorts, but not skirts, loincloths, or thongs. Fuck all of that.

Google was my lifesaver. Always had been. One quick search later and I had found my solution. Zorro. All in black, he carried a cool sword, the mask and hat thing was pretty badass. His trusty black mount could easily be taken care of by Jasper and his stable. Done deal.

Greene had what I was looking for. A day before Halloween. He always did. Alice had introduced us when we threw our first house party. His ideas were impressive, I liked his store, and I liked that he made Alice laugh while not looking down her shirt.

He dug deep into his extensive costume collection and found exactly what I asked for. I wanted the shirt and accessories to look real. My black leather pants were fine, comfortable, but I had to buy a pair of poncey boots. Fake spurs, too, the fucking hat- Greene told me he'd be offended if I didn't wear it after all of his searching- we were both very happy people.

Everything fell into place after that.

I had bonded with Snakebite, a horse that survived being bitten by a venomous snake, twice. After riding around the ring a few times, repeating Jasper's rules about forty fucking times, he completed our trade. Stopping to buy the rest of what we'd need for the party on the way home, all that was left had nothing to do with me. I didn't know anything about decorating, though I did promise to put the rugs out before I went to sleep. That was easy enough. Instead of putting out a red carpet, on the sidewalk leading to our stairs- too Hollywood- Alice chose a gold one. Dark gold, it didn't hurt my eyes, our dark red and gold entry rug matched it. Of course, that was Esme's part of the plan.

Alice's present for me was a black mask. Black leather on the soft silk of the slits of the mask, the embroidery matched my shirt. It was perfect, she was amazing, better than Google. For Carlisle she bought a black tie with glow in the dark cats. Esme got a cookbook on gingerbread houses that Alice wanted to make together, and some pumpkin bread from her favorite bakery. I wondered if Alice had taken Bella there. A bakery and coffee-shop, it was pretty cool. They played good music, there was a music store a building over. Concerts were held there sometimes, I liked going to read and drink coffee while watching hot goth chicks walk past. The hot goth chicks were optional.

Thinking about her reaction to Jessica and Lauren in my bedroom still made me laugh. It was part of the reason I showed off a little in gym class. I felt the two she-bitches staring at me the entire time. Jessica had stopped doing jumping jacks while I did push-ups. Lauren unabashedly stared when I carried Bella over to the bleachers.

Gym went so much better than I expected. Thanks to the Coach, Bella got to learn by absorbing rather than being thrown into an uncomfortable situation. I wouldn't have let anyone get near her, but, from her point of view, anyone on the field could be considered near her. Better that she watch, know that I'd have her back, and how, before joining the game, confident that it would be okay. Time passed in a blur after that point. All easy.

Excited energy filled the hallways. People scrambled out of class to get to their cars. Some had come dressed in costume. All of Bella's questions had made me wonder what she was going to be.

Dropping her off after school had been difficult. I wanted to have her in the backseat again, I'd make that shit work, but there were too many people around. There were _always_ people around. Carlisle and Esme had stayed home a lot more than usual. The Chief had Bella come over to our house, and while we managed to make use of every chance we had to be alone, days like these were frustrating. We didn't know if the Chief would be showing up to see her off to the dance. Bella didn't think so, but I wasn't going to take that chance after he had the foresight to pinpoint where I was on the tree outside of her room. She had to get ready. I didn't have very much time to accomplish the rest of my plan.

She had assured me it'd be possible for her to be ready in an hour. The party started at seven. It was five now. I kissed her one last time without getting out of my car. That'd be an hour in an of itself, making out against my car. I was careful not to speed as I headed to my house. Changing took longer than I expected. Good quality meant more pieces. Pants and boots were easy enough. I buttoned the shirt, tied a pure black bandanna around my arm. The piece of fabric that was supposed to go around my neck could stay at home. That was a bit much, the cape would be plenty.

Alice's mask, the hat. I carried the Zorro sword and hoped I didn't look like a poofer. Alice assured me Bella would melt. The black gloves were pretty coold, I could use them for driving. Very nice. It was easy enough to get Snakebite. Jasper laughed uproariously, the motherfucker, when he saw my costume. He looked like a gay rock star, I didn't see how he could judge. There was a big difference between leather pants and _leather pants_. Jasper was wearing the latter, they were tight and I didn't see how he was still breathing. He moved easily enough in them, though. The big buckled black boots, too. Alice was going to love it. He had a black leather cuff on his right wrist, a leather watch piece on his left. Wearing nothing but a leather vest, his tattoos were on display. He had his hair tied back with a bandanna. If it weren't for the pants… he'd have been fine.

After riding around in front of him for awhile, as we traded good natured insults, he gave his final assent.

I picked pebbles from the driveway. Bella didn't need to know, but I missed her window a few times. When she didn't come to the window right away, I decided to scale the tree again. Zorro did things like that, and assuming she didn't freak out and shove me to the ground, it was a pretty good plan. Or it was until she came to the window as I was underneath it. Changing tactics, I dropped down a few branches. She was out the door and over to Snakebite.

Say something, don't say something. I chose not to as she patted the horse. She looked so... happy. Over the top, maybe, the whole Zorro thing, but so fucking worth it. My only problem now... instead of being able to drop down on the horse, she had moved him away from me. There was a branch below me, but it was further than I could reach. If I missed it- I'd tuck and roll. Chances were I could spring to my feet, I just needed not to fall backwards. Trying not to make noise, I balanced and let myself fall. I barely caught the branch. The ground was close enough now. I landed behind her, she stared through me, shocked.

It was funny as hell. Bella's reaction to my costume had been more than I hoped for. She loved the outfit, though I think she loved the horse even more.

I was really hoping that the stable would be empty by the time we got back… no such luck. It was busier than fucking ever. Horses were needed for some Halloween thing in town. Fuck. The car wasn't going to work, either. Fucking people everywhere. We made out a little, A very little. Bella was just fixing her makeup as we pulled into the driveway. She had been irritated at all the interruptions, too, but her excitement for the party overshadowed frustration. I opened the door for her, she smiled wryly at me and brushed eye-shadow off the side of my cheek.

Her costume had been amazing, but as we walked up the driveway… she was as Alice had said. Ethereal. Her cheeks were naturally flushed, eyes warm as she glanced at my pants not thinking I noticed. I noticed my knife threaded onto the side of her skirts. It fit her costume, especially with the very obviously fake flagon attached on a string that bounced against her thigh each time Bella took a step.

"Oh my god," she laughed. Taking the stairs two at a time, she wrapped Alice in a huge hug. Blue polka dots and stripes meshed with Bella's dark blue and white skirts.

Alice had put a longer black skirt underneath so that her costume covered her to mid-thigh. Esme had looked nervous at the picture on it's bag, but when she emerged wearing it, Alice had been sure to make it family friendly.

"You look incredible!"

"Thanks!" Alice clicked her shiny black heels together. "Did your… layering go well?"

The two of them shared a mischievous smile. Huh.

"Yes," Bella did her wicked grin. "Want to do a few shots before the party really starts?"

"I've got whiskey," Jasper announced himself.

Alice's eyes widened. She swallowed, looked ready to say something, licked her lips, and then made some sort of 'wow' hand gesture.

"Very nice," Bella complimented. "Add the guitar later… Jasper, great fucking job." She hugged him, too. Raising her hand at his back, I saw her hesitate. Instead of giving him a guy hug, she patted his shoulder twice instead. Alice's doing, I assumed. She had crinkled her nose when Bella gave her one of her masculine hugs. Crinkling of Alice's nose meant that changes were in store. Good ones, but Bella had fallen under her feminine influence.

"I don't have whiskey, but there's some rum lying around," I added.

"Mmm," Bella fluttered her eyelashes at me. "I love rum."

"Alright then," I said turning the plan. There was more than excitement over alcohol in her expression. "You both go enjoy that whiskey. Bella and I are going to go the opposite way and… we'll meet up with you later."

I put my arm around her waist and nodded at both of them to say goodbye. This wasn't school, the stable, or my car with a whole bunch of people around. Well, there were people, but in my house, on our property- I should be able to find somewhere private. Not my room, that was too obvious.

"Soo… not going to see your parents first, huh?"

"Not quite yet," I replied.

"You look incredibly sexy, have I told you?"

"Not with words," I grinned at her. "Your appreciation made itself known."

Her hand on my cock in the car before someone walked our direction. Nipping at her throat in the halls as she bucked her hips into mine. Her legs around my waist at the stable, us leaning against a wall. A groom clearing his throat before asking us politely to find somewhere else to make out. The Coach had kept me after class to congratulate me on team sportsmanship. He wanted me to join hockey practice. It was too late in the season for me to actually be part of the team, but he thought my enthusiasm for the sport could lead me to spending more time on the field. Yeah, not going to happen.

As it was, I had barely grasped Bella's hair in my hand, tipped her head up roughly to mine… the bell rang. Coach threw open the gym doors for the next class, people poured out of classrooms. Fuck it all.

The garage. Inside of it was probably too risky. Around the back, though, especially with my bike parked outside in favor of the cars… Oh my fuck. I slowed my pace so that Bella could keep up with me. Boots on damp grass was nothing compared to her stilettos sinking into the ground. So fucking hot. She sensed my urgency, I could tell by the way she inhaled deeply as though striving for patience, too.

"Shots after, too?"

"Why wait?" I pulled out two small bottles of liquor. Captain Morgan, gotta love some rum on Halloween. I handed her one, opened the other.

"Wait," Bella said before I could take a drink. "I'm toasting to… not making an ass of myself later."

"You won't, but I'll take a shot for that. I'll also drink to… turning you on so much when I'm playing guitar that it'll take less than a minute to make you come when we're alone."

Bella didn't answer, she drank. Half of the bottle disappeared, then all that remained was gone. She held the small bottle like a cigarette and twirled it like a butterfly knife. Licking her lips, she smiled at me and handed it back. Fuck that was sexy. Garage. Bike. My alcohol was done for. We were good to go.

She tasted like liquor, smelled like sex. There was something under her costume, she kept moving my hands when they strayed to close at her waist. What was she hiding?

"Surprise for you," she said, breathless. "Don't peek until later, it'll destroy my plan."

"How are we supposed to…"

"Jacket?"

I shrugged out of the leather and passed it to her. She laid it across the speedometer and part of the handlebars. Spreading her skirts, Bella straddled the seat backwards. She moved her hair out of the way and slowly lowered herself until she rested comfortably on my jacket. I watched her slide down a little bit…

"Enjoying the view?"

"So much better up close," I replied while walking over to her.

Standing at the back of my bike, all I had to do was raise her hips a little before- my belt was undone, pants unbuttoned. Being Zorro was fucking convenient as hell. I'd hear if someone were approaching. Of course. Of course I would. No worries there. It was moments like these that made me wish we had our own fucking place. We could still fuck outside, on any vehicle we wanted, but it would be our damn decision. Borne of fulfilling a fantasy rather than a necessity.

"Quick now, slow later, okay?"

I laughed.

She glared.

"Today has been one huge tease. You behind me on the horse, fumbling around in the Volvo. Now I'm slightly stoned, rum's making me feel crazy."

Sliding my hand up her leg, across her thigh… I felt leather. She was wearing two costumes. "No peeking, remember?"

Fuck. We were shrouded in darkness, I wouldn't be able to see anything if I did raise her skirts. The paleness of her skin, I got glimpses when the wind blew branches away from the moon. Even hurrying, Bella made sure to keep hidden all traces of her second outfit.

I slid two fingers inside of her and groaned upon realizing how wet she was. Fuck. She had better composure than I did. Fading now. Either she was lost in pleasure or she had ceased to give a fuck about getting caught... "Need me to slow down a little?"

"No," she groaned as I stroked her clit with my thumb.

"You sure?"

"I saw the bike and nearly came," she said through her teeth. "What do you think?"

"Hmm." I pressed a little harder and watched her eyes roll back. Take her pent up frustration, add an element of danger, making good on a fantasy, no wonder she was so close.

"Ugh! Edward," she moaned quietly, "I'm going to-"

Fuucckk yess. Her hips bucked up, she grasped part of the bike in both of her hands and raised her body rhythmically to prolong her orgasm. I built her partially to another one before fully taking my cock out. It took two seconds to rip the condom open with my teeth. Clean up was impossible here and I'd be damned before I pulled out of her again. The bike rocked as I thrust into her. I wedged my foot on the side of a tire. If we fell, I'd catch us somehow. Fuck it.

She spread her legs so they formed a V. I felt leather, it took me a moment to realize she was wearing thigh-high boots. "So fucking _hot_!"

Bella laughed on a moan, the muscles in her arms tensed as she braced against the bike. She bit her lip, I felt the spasms begin slowly. They increased speed, her muscles clenched and released. Her face was flushed, hair tangling and dragging almost to the ground. I rested one hand near hers, she gripped my wrist.

With her hips up against mine, I couldn't comfortably pull her into a sitting position. I put one arm around her back. Taking a moment, hoping I wouldn't fuck this up, I lifted her so that I bore all of her weight. Not the best angle, but jesus fuck it felt good. She helped by digging her heels in gently at my thigh. I raised her a little bit and she climbed a few inches up my body.

Holding her so she wouldn't fall, I lifted her up and down until we found a rhythm that worked for both of us. Fast, hard, pushing the body's endurance level- she came and muffled the sounds on my shoulder. When I felt my lower body start to tingle I shifted so that her feet rested on the ground. The motorcycle was behind me now.

"You could…" Bella laughed, shivered all over, "… sit on the bike."

I pulled her down with me. Straddling the bike, her legs went over mine. Her skirts covered my thighs, she put both of her heels on the tire. My feet on the ground were all the leverage I could get. Bella helped, she ground her pubic bone on mine, undulated her hips. That was most fucking definitely new.

"Hold my legs and don't let us fall?" She closed her eyes and leaned backwards. Her back rested on my jacket. Reaching up, she gripped the handlebars and pulled her knees up tight to my sides.

Fuck she was incredible. I tilted my hips down and forward. Her clit brushed against the shaft of my cock each time I slid in and out of her. She let out a strangled cry, her hips stilled. I took her waist and thrust shallowly. Bella made little high-pitched sounds as she came down. I stopped trying to hold back. Release roared through me. I took hold of the seat instead of her waist.

My knuckles were white when I opened my eyes. I was panting, laughing, Bella joined me and wrapped herself around me. "Happy fucking Halloween," she said, satisfied.

"Do I get to see what you're hiding now?"

"Not yet," she climbed off my lap.

I shivered at the sudden cold. Now that the heat had faded, it was damn cold out here. Bella hugged herself and glanced at the house. The condom was easily taken care of. I had found a black handkerchief and tucked it into a pocket, just in case. Plan without a plan, it was the perfect cover. I could dispose of everything later.

"Winter's right around the corner."

She grinned wryly. "In Phoenix, this is winter."

I lit a cigarette, took a few drags, and offered it to her. There was no need to ask why she had moved if she disliked the cold so much. That's what indoor heating was for. Hell, I could go with her costume and warm a brick to put under her sheets. I pulled my jacket off the handlebars and wrapped it around her shoulders.

My thigh was vibrating. 'Where are you? People are starting to ask…'

There was no need to write back, we'd be seeing Alice in less than two minutes.

"We've been missed?"

"Good guess," I congratulated her.

The driveway was again in view. We made it up the stairs without a problem. Across the porch, here is where we'd faltered last time.

"We probably smell like horses and smoke."

"I think its awesome," she paused. "So long as we don't smell like sex, right?"

"Shower with me later?"

Bella looked over her shoulder. "Of course."

She stepped to one side, I opened the door for her and bowed. Curtseying, holding the position, I almost saw down her dress. Accidentally, of course. There had been a flash of red, it might have been black. The lighting was too dim for me to tell.

"Bag of candy for you, Bella!"

"… wow."

"Edward?"

The bag weighed a ton. Full candy bars were mixed with normal size bags of skittles. Hershey kisses, orange and black, lollipops, gold coins.

"You went trick-or-treating, Alice?"

"No," she made a face at me. "I traded some of our candy away. There was enough for all four of us, our parents can go through for what they want later."

"Butterfinger for Carlisle, gummy bears for Esme," I reminded her.

"Snickers for you, Milky Way for Bella, and the Heath Bars for Jas. Yup."

"And Alice?" Bella asked. "What about you?"

"Everything," she took a Reese's out of my bag. "I love white chocolate best."

"Save us all. You on an intense sugar high?"

"It's a lot of fun," Alice handed her a white chocolate pumpkin. "You should try it."

"Speaking of, where is Jasper?" It was a good question.

"Caramel apples," Alice laughed. "They didn't have enough caramel on them. So, using sundae toppings, he's fixing them."

"Handy," Bella looked impressed.

"Delicious, you mean. He's making some for both of you, too."

'Pretty Rave Girl' started playing. Bella looked over at me, flushing with excitement. "You altered the playlist, too?"

"Only by a few songs," I replied. I laughed as she and Alice started dancing together. Bella was cute, sexy, they moved fast and then faster as the tempo increased.

"Howdy," Jasper came to stand next to me.

"Yo."

"Alice tell you about the apples?"

"Yea," I grinned. "When do you want to get on stage?"

"After another few songs? Am I singin' first?"

"Sure."

"Alright then," he drawled. Jasper and I moved closer instinctively and had the two of them pair off with us. Alice came to me first, she danced a circle around me and giggled as I laughed at her. They switched up shortly thereafter.

"This is my favorite feel-good dance song of all time," Bella rubbed her hips lightly against mine.

"That's a pretty high standard."

"So far as dance music goes," she kissed my throat. "What song are you playing guitar for?"

"You won't show me your second costume. You'll have to wait and find out."

"Unfair," she pointed out. "You have patience. I don't."

I twirled her in two short circles. "Twenty minutes," I told her. "Better than all day, huh?"

She pouted, sexy, coquette and pirate wench. Then her expression lightened. "A lot can happen in twenty minutes."

I agreed. "Very true."

"Like… some confidence boosting? Will that break all of the rules? No drinking or anything else at this party, Alice said."

"My room, my rules. Halloween's a night for mischief. Trick or treat stoner-style."

"Great logic."

Bella called, "Alice?" I motioned at Jasper.

She bit her lip and turned to look at me. I crooked smiled at her.

"What's up?" Jasper glanced between the two of us, he hooked one hand through his belt loop and pocket.

"We need cover. You're welcome to join, always, but…"

"Parents are going to come knocking if we're in there too long alone." Bella finished my statement for me. Thank fuck, I had been going to say something like, I didn't want our parents to think we were fucking. Her way was much less inappropriate. Alice put a hand on her hip, she looked irritated.

"C'mon, Ali. Be proud of me. I didn't smoke all day today."

"I'll vouch for'im," Jasper spoke up. "Cause he wanted to borrow Snakebite. Had to be sober, completely."

Alice's eyes softened just the tiniest bit.

"I'll give you all of my candy." Bella adapted a sad-face. Alice laughed.

"Fine, fine. Don't give away any chocolate! That's blasphemy! Ten minutes, then we're back out here. No more smoking until everyone's gone."

"Start… now." Jasper led the way, Alice followed him. Bella and I traded lollipop flavors. Black licorice was fine by me, the rainbow ones just weren't as good. I put a chair under the doorknob. Better safe than sorry. Funny as it would be to see Bella unleash hell on Jessica or Lauren, I wanted warning before someone entered.

"Oh my fucking god."

I knew why Bella had moaned the first time we smoked up together. Maybe not so long next time, but I'd be limiting my weed intake. This high was going to be fucking fantastic.

"Yeah," Bella smiled at me. "Right?"

"Fuck _yes_." I passed the awesome skull pipe to her. She inhaled fast the first time, inhaled deeply the second. After what we'd done, adrenaline now fading, she was going to be high as fuck, too. She looked at me through smoke and I wanted her all over again. Passing to Jasper, she flushed as the pot reached her mind.

Slow blinking, I blindly reached for the pipe. Two more hits. Done for now. Okay, maybe one more pass. Bella leaned far over to take the pot from me. Then she leaned again to open the canister that held more weed. She was topping it off, enough for one more round. She sat with her legs curled to one side. Her hair fell on both sides of her face. Drinking like winos, fucking like miscreants, partying hard, and ending things with some bound to be hot-as-fuck lingerie. Greatest night ever.

**Authors End Note:  
**The chapter was shorter than I'd have liked it to be. After long waiting time on your part, I like to make what you've waited for worth it. Sorry. There was a lemon, hope that counts for something!  
I'll be adding personal thank you's soon as I get a laptop. Two weeks or so and my author's note will respond to everyone from two chapters ago. =). Thanks for not flaming me about it.

**Authors End Note 2:**  
'The Handcuff Bracelet' is almost at two thousand reviews. Thank you so, so much! I was astounded at one thousand. This is… incredible. Thanks everyone for loving the characters and supporting the story so well!


	38. Amazed

**Chapter 38**

**Authors Note:** The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:** Still no laptop. I had to write the entire chapter in a notebook. Not really tragic, I know, but I miss the clicking of keys! It's a craving! Must… purchase… laptop. All I need are Word and the Internet! Saving up for something really cheap, I'll upgrade from there. =). Soon, everyone. I'll make it up to all of you then, I swear!  
Until that point-  
**Jasper- **http:/s3prod(dot)weheartit(dot)netdna-cdn(dot)com/images/3916500/tumblr_l8swcwcsTb1qcm084o1_500_thumb(dot)jpg?1284611261

**Authors Note 3: **So I had a major 'Oh Shit' moment. Realized four pages into this chapter that Edward had loaned his bike to Jasper. It wouldn't have been outside of his garage. Fuck. I'll fix it somehow in this chapter, and if not, I'll go back and edit the last one somehow.  
**Authors Note 4:** The song Jasper sings is by Kane, Christian Kane's band. (Lindsey from Angel, Elliot from Leverage.) He's got an amazing voice and I wanted people to be aware he had a CD!

Another amazing country singer is a friend from online, find her on Twitter-Leslie Craig, she's got two songs available- and on ITunes, too, I believe. Check her out, Grooveshark didn't have any of her songs or I'd have added one to the playlist. =/  
**http:/twitter(dot)com/LeslieCraig**  
And vote for her here, please!  
**http:/www(dot)hosstheboss(dot)com/category/hossey-awards-show/vote-now/**

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**The Fever- **Garth Brooks  
**Amazed**- Offspring  
**Made For You- **OneRepublic  
**Girlfriend- **Avril Lavigne  
**Crazy In Love**- Kane

**Alice Point of View**

Bella and Edward always seemed to be arguing about something or with someone. Trouble prone, both of them. And now it had doubled. From Mike Newton and a gang, to Mike Newton alone, to going on the Res with a gang, alone… it wasn't a good trend.

Halloween seemed to have ended their streak of law-breaking. They broke at least three a day.

Maybe not Bella. She didn't drive under the influence, and she didn't speed.

Edward was going out of his mind looking for a way to supplant her truck with something sturdier. He planned everything from hijacking it to setting it on fire, dropping something heavy on top of it, driving it into a wall...

I had to convince him that dating Bella meant accepting her truck. She loved it, it wasn't going anywhere. If she found out he had something to do with the vehicle's demise, she'd be really pissed. That wouldn't lead to good things for Edward. He agreed with me. For the most part.

He tried asking her, but Bella thought he was joking.

More like she evaded by pretending to think it was a joke.

Something about money had her spooked. Part of it was because Edward had shared his stories with her. Bella, being awesome and herself, was going out of her way to prove she wanted Edward solely for him.

What she didn't understand was that, to Edward, her effort meant more than what she said. Because Edward was used to taking care of people, he'd seriously give her the world if she asked.

Jasper told me that Edward and Bella were East Coasters who didn't know they were Southern. He said that I was pure East Coast. Quick decisions, impulses, spontaneity. What was apparent to me took others awhile to figure out.

I knew that, but Bella and Edward walked in circles instead of spirals. Circles had no end. I intervened little as possible. The money dispute was one of those times. I could picture it now. Edward pulling up bank statements to show he'd take care of her. Arguing as to why he wanted to promise her thirty-thousand dollars.

Bella would have been shocked, maybe a little amused. She tended to look on the lighter side of things. I understood both points of view.

In this case, I sided with Edward.

Bella was wonderful for wanting to prove she needed nothing from him.

In all of the relationships I'd seen, romantic or otherwise, both needed the other equally. I wasn't ashamed to say that I felt better when Jasper was around. It was easy for me to admit I loved him because I did.

Personally, I thought they purposefully caused problems whenever things went well. Neither knew what to do with love. Energy was a powerful thing. They excelled in times of conflict. Though they might not go looking for it, things quickly escalated to an intense situation whenever they were involved.

The first few days notwithstanding: They had been given laced drugs and got through the ordeal without our parents knowing. Fighting; Edward did his best to hide the extent of his damage from Carlisle. Edward stalled, procrastinated, made excuses… by the time Carlisle put his foot down, the damage was healed. With every nerve-wrenching experience he and Bella grew closer.

I wouldn't say that Edward had mellowed. I'd heard the talk, no one would let word get back to him. Most of Forks High was still afraid of his sudden rages. He _was_ less angry all of the time, but that didn't mean he was socially available.

Taking _one_ night to think it over, he called Esme and Carlisle 'Mom' and 'Dad' effortlessly. They had all talked together, I assume it went well. No one had looked worried when I got back from Halloween shopping.

Edward would probably tell me all about it later. It was about time for us to have one of our talks. They were few and far between lately, Bella and I, too.

Watching them now, I was just so _happy_ for them. Her leg was against his, his arm over her shoulder brought Bella closer to his chest. I had seen them holding hands. Still rare, yet it had happened.

Jasper cleared his throat behind me. I had been dancing to the song. On his lap. I smiled over my shoulder and moved my hips in a small circle.

A few strands of hair fell across his face. Roguish, his eyes were soft and green. He pulled me back against him. The muscles in his arms were hard, I loved the way they felt. I could see rope burns, feel calluses on his knuckles and across his hands.

The scar across his wrist was from barbed wire that had lashed back at him. On his forearms were old nicks and cuts from horse hooves. They would rear, Jasper blocked his face, he said it was all part of the job description.

Contact high. I giggled.

Damn them.

"Sorry, Alice."

I glared at Edward and ended up smiling instead. "I'm used to it by now."

"Yeah… I apologize, too, darlin'."

"Mhmm."

I could forgive him anything in these leather pants. God, they were so soft! Like butter, velvet, I kept running my fingers over his thigh. I'd get lucky once in awhile and feel his muscles twitch under my hand.

"It's really okay," I said. "No guilt on Halloween, guys."

"Payback…" Jasper whispered the words in my ear as he passed the pipe to Bella.

He moved my fingers from his inner thigh to the leather of his vest. I slipped my hand underneath. The firm muscles in his abs, I rubbed my fingertips over the indents. His vest was lined with satin, the back of my hand slithered across the fabric.

It was a nice contrast.

"Alice?" Bella laughed. "I think you're high, babe."

"I think so, too," I sighed.

Jasper chuckled, the sound was mixed with whiskey and smoke. Bella and Edward were shot-gunning. I reached my hand into Jasper's pants. He jolted and shifted restlessly. I smiled innocently and withdrew his not-so-hidden alcohol.

"Payback," I repeated his earlier words.

It wasn't my fault it took me awhile to locate the neck of his whiskey bottle. He leaned up, covered my hand with his. I shivered as he rubbed against me.

Twisting the top off, Jasper offered it to me.

I took three quick sips. Alcohol was easier for me to handle that way. Jasper chugged two shots worth, I could smell it sweet on his breath as he passed the bottle.

It was even sweeter when he kissed my neck before settling back into place. Deliciously so, he hadn't shaved in a day. The stubble on his chin was abrasively soft on my skin.

Was this how Bella and Edward felt all of the time? I was beginning to see marijuana's merits. I'd still prefer reality. Studying Jasper this way was fascinating.

It enhanced what I felt, but at the same time… I liked small details. Everything was blurring together, I could see the bigger picture. What made up that bigger picture, those were the things I focused on.

Bella had reached into Edward's nightstand table. She pulled out two shot glasses. Edward reached for one, Bella smirked and held them out of his reach.

"These are mine. You wanted some?"

"In a minute they might be," Edward snorted. "I've got the liquor…"

"So double them," Bella suggested.

"Beg your pardon?"

"Here." She handed him a glass. Picking one up herself, she motioned for him to fill them. Edward complied, waiting for what was next, he let the heavily etched glass bottle fall to his side.

His eyebrow twitched once or twice, he smiled crookedly at her. I was wondering the same thing; it was sometimes difficult to determine how high Bella was.

Time needed to pass, she was good at hiding it. When she started laughing to herself, finding objects worth all of her attention, it was a sign she was pretty gone. Even so, she tended to speak better, make more references than normal.

"When I say 'Go', go, okay?"

I hastily threw a towel from the doorway underneath their glasses. With the way this seemed to be going, it felt like a good idea.

"Wait," Edward stopped them at the last second. "Your Dad isn't going to have a breathalyzer, is he?"

"No," she rolled her eyes. "He promised."

"Ready?"

"Go."

They tossed the first back. Edward was already pouring the second. They disappeared. Bella laughed and protested until Edward grabbed her wrist. She laughed harder, took the final shot.

Edward threw the corked bottle back to Jasper. He toasted them and opened it for us to share.

"What was the point of that?"

"No point," Bella replied. "Normally we'd drink one another out that way. Slamming them back until we can't anymore. We're all performing later. Surrounded by parents, it'd be bad to go onstage visibly drunk. Right?"

"Fucking unfortunately," Edward said.

"There wasn't supposed to be any drinking at this party to begin with," I stated. "Nothing else, either. Ya'll kind of tore through that rule."

"The adults are drinking."

"Yeah," Bella agreed with Edward. "I saw Carlisle with a beer."

"Fine," I sighed. "One more drink, then we really should go back outside."

"Cigarette?"

"Not a Marlboro," Bella told Jas. "Please don't flatline a good high with a cowboy killer. Take a Newport, it'll be a good experience. Promise."

"No problem," Jasper grinned. "Thanks."

"On the porch," Edward said. "It's getting too smoky in here."

"Is it safe to open one of the windows? The smoke has to go somewhere," she pointed out. "Better out the window instead of into your house…"

"Febreeze. Light some of those candles you got for me? The ones that smell like cookies or whatever. That'll take care of the smell in a few seconds."

Jasper slowly let out a deep breath. The sound hit me and spread warmth through my body. I shifted on him again because it felt just as good to me, too.

Bella and Edward were proofing the room, they didn't need our help. And with their preoccupation came time for me to play. They weren't the only ones who could get away with covert fondling.

"We get one last song each," Bella said to Edward. "Make it count before someone sneaks 'Thriller' in."

"Fucking save me." He started flipping through the songs on his Ipod. Surprisingly, within seconds Edward found something he wanted to hear. It was a new record.

"Baby," Jasper said low and near my ear. "Much as I love what you're doin'… if I'm going to be gettin' on a stage in a few minutes, I need some time to, er, cool down."

"Sorry," I apologized and meant it. Mostly.

Edward was looking for the scented candles. Reluctantly, I climbed off Jasper's lap. I grinned at him as I stood, he seemed torn between pulling me back down and letting me go. His fingers tightened on my waist before I stepped away.

I located two of the candles and rested them on Edward's windowsill. Pumpkin pie, cinnamon, it'd smell amazing in here after a few minutes.

"Nothing will catch on fire this way," I said rationally.

"Yeah, Jesus Christ. Everyone would be fucking high. It'd be one hell of a party."

I helped her gather the pot and their pipe. Jasper's bottle of whiskey should stay in the double-locked drawer, too… but we wouldn't be able to get back in here until much later.

He walked around with it all of the time, I could always stash it in the fridge. Hidden in plain sight, it had worked for us before.

Edward's head whipped around. I turned in time to see Bella stumble.

She flushed. "My leg fell asleep. No emergency, it's okay, guys."

"Those fucking _boots_." Edward didn't need to say anything else. They both shared a smile. I was privy to this secret, Bella had asked for my opinion. I helped her pick those thigh-highs, none of her other shoes compared.

"You alright now?"

"Yeah," she answered him. "I shouldn't have knelt down like that for so long."

Edward smiled slowly. "Good to keep in mind."

"On that note," I interjected, "let's go so all of you can have a cigarette. Unnecessary mental image, thanks."

Everything was concealed. I opened the door to his room. The smell of pumpkin pie wafted through the air, my stomach rumbled. On the way to the porch, I grabbed a plate. Someone had brought cupcakes and orange-frosted vanilla cake. Homemade, I knew the frosting was a family recipe. Store bought looked processed.

I took four of the cupcakes and cut a huge slice of the cake for all of us to share. Considerate I was, an acrobat, not so much. Carrying four plates through the crowded living room wasn't going to be happening. Two forks, some napkins, that was possible.

"Ah," Jasper eyed the food I was carrying. "That's where you went."

"Strawberry for Bella. The one with chocolate frosting has jelly inside of it."

"Thanks, Alice. I love strawberries!" She made a nom-nom sound, Edward laughed at her.

"So… we'll meet ya'll back here after a cigarette?"

"Yeah," Edward and Jasper shared a look. "No problem, man."

I finished my part of the cake in four bites. Thank goodness no one had noticed. A sugar high was so much better than pot could ever be. Jasper passed his cigarette to Bella and had a few mouthfuls of cake.

"Chocolate," he smirked at me.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Where to?"

"You done?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

Hmm. Where to go, it was a good question. My room was out of the question. Jasper gave the remaining cake to Edward and Bella. I wasn't going to have them cover for us. Anywhere on the porch was a bad idea. Edward was probably going to hang in the garage.

The woods.

"C'mon," I took his hand. "We can disappear in the forest."

The music faded as we left the house. It wasn't quiet and still, but I didn't want it to be. All Hallow's Eve was not a time for beautiful and serene. We could have that anytime.

I wanted magical. Wicked. Fantastical. And the contact high, along with sugared energy; this was a great night already.

Jaser didn't waste time. Tasting cigarettes on him didn't bother me, I didn't care either way. He was courteous though, it rarely happened.

Like now, he tasted like chocolate and whiskey.

Smelling of leather and fresh hay, he backed me against the trunk of a tree. With these heels on he didn't have to lean over so much to kiss me. We had worked the kinks out of our height barrier a long time ago.

"You're not cold?" I licked my lips and savored the taste of him.

"No," he reassured me. "Not feelin' the cold yet."

I wasn't either.

He took a step closer, I put my arms around his waist. His broad shoulders blocked the moon. Tree branches framed his head, I took a deep breath and added pine and timber to my sensory overload.

I stared into his light green eyes, surprisingly bright for all of the darkness around us. He was very tan compared to my white skin. I seemed to glow, he blended with our surroundings.

And when he lowered his head to mine, I forgot it was October.

I leaned back so that my thighs pressed against his. He rubbed his hips on mine, slow long strokes that made me moan. He tipped my head up to his and inhaled as though he were drinking me down. His tongue licked my lip, I let mine touch his.

I could feel the calluses on his fingertips against my cheek. Putting my hand on his, I felt the roughness of his knuckles, the scars that dotted his skin.

Lust, love... I wanted him, but I wanted _this_ more.

There were times when he held me as though he were afraid of his strength. He would look at me... and I didn't know what he saw.

The hard lines between his eyes had slowly gone away. Brought by worry, fatigue, and backbreaking work, Jasper had been able to find time for rest here. That heavily serious air that had followed him everywhere had dissipated after only a few days.

Every now and then, though, he would face me and I knew there was something he wanted to say. His eyes would grow somber, tinged with gray, and he'd stroke my hair, my face, my neck.

I waited for him to speak, but he never did.

Like studying a painting and feeling a moment of pure clarity, everything shifted.

He stepped away from me, but kept his hand on my wrist so that I knew he wasn't done yet.

Backing up further in to the shadows, he moved to another side of the tree. I stood in front of him, enfolded in his arms. His heartbeat was steady but fast.

He rested his head on mine. I burrowed in. He was safe, not as houses- Jas hated that saying.

"If you could see Texas... the stars there, these pale in comparison."

"Don't go to New York." I remembered dark skies with only one or two stars. "You barely see them there at all with all of the pollution."

"It's not something I've got planned," he said.

"Are you missing it there?"

"No, not this time," he sighed softly. "There's one place in particular I keep thinkin' about. I want to take you there. Where the land stretches forever, streams run over silver rocks... coyotes sing at the moon. It's... you'll love it."

"Is this happening?"

He gave me a few inches of space. I leaned back so i could see him easily.

"If you want it to," he said carefully.

"... when?"

"I was gonna ask you sometime closer to May. It's just somethin' that's been on my mind. A lot of job offers've come in and with all the training I've been doing..."

"Work, that's a good thing. You were worried about not hearing from anyone, right?"

"Yeah. I thought they'd have called sooner, but later's better than never, I guess.

"Um, for how long?"

"A month, maybe two? Not to stay, I wouldn't ask you for that. Edward and Bella are more'n welcome to come along. Ya'll can poke around the city, visit the springs."

"That sounds like a lot of fun."

I felt his energy change. He squeezed my shoulders; I wondered how long he'd been worrying about my answer.

"Really?"

"We'll probably have to talk to my parents, they'll want details. If Edward and Bella come... how would we get there? Plane?"

"Most likely," he nodded. "If you want to stay a little longer, we can stick around for the state fair. There's a rodeo competition every year... and I've been asked to participate."

Oh. _This_ was why he had been so reserved about the subject.

The rodeo.

Jasper had been in and out of the hospital more times than Edward and I combined. He had treated many of his own wounds, too.

"Didn't you break a good number of bones in your body?"

"Only one or..." he trailed off as I glared at him. "Not that many. You've no complaints, do you?"  
"No... but, Jasper, aren't you still healing from a back injury?"

"That?" He shrugged, "That was ages ago."

It might not bother or hinder him, but that didn't mean it was healed. He had let that fact slip one night. The last rodeo he had participated in, one of the bulls had thrown him.

Jasper had fallen onto his shoulder. As he rolled out of the way, the bull's hoof clipped him twice. Once as he shielded his body from the beast and the second time as he got to his feet.

I read the magazine article beause he said 'explaining would sound too gory.'

He had gotten out of the ring, spectator's said, but blood loss had been severe. His blood-drenched shirt had been thrown to the side as paramedics rushed to the scene.

If it weren't for the reporter's graphic description, Jasper might have been able to downplay the extent of his injuries. It had taken him a long time to heal, and if the wound had been closer to his spine, he might have been paralyzed.

I had seen the scar, which hadn't looked that old. Thanks to Carlisle, I knew enough about debilitating injuries to know that Jasper really did have luck on his side.

Inches.

He had been spared by _inches_.

And he wanted to get back in the ring?

No wonder he and Edward got along so well.

If he really wanted to, there wasn't much I could do to stop him. I'd make sure he knew the risks, he had to know I worried about him or he wouldn't have been so hesitant about bring it up.

The way I felt about my art; when I didn't create anything over a long period of time, I became restless inside. When he talked about Texas, the things he had accomplished... the same passion applied.

He was breeding his own horses now, breaking new ones, but it took second place to the rodeo. Jasper bred good horses, he took part in races, barrel riding- if those were the only compettive events he planned on taking palce in, I'd cheer for him and not worry.

I wasn't naieve. If Jasper rode in those, he'd definitely sign up for bull-riding. The money tempted him, but the freedom he felt while riding a four-hundred pound beast into the ground, I guess it didn't compare.

"It's not nearly as serious this time. I've been off the real circuit for awhile now. This'd just be for fun."

I slid the bandanna out of his hair. Bella's cigarette was still behind his ear. There was a lot I could determine by the way his hair fell. When he was deep in thought he'd push it out of his face impantiently. He used it to his advantage a lot, same as I did by changing my accent for him.

He only needed one. Any more and it would be horribly unfair.

Jas shook his head to dislodge the strands from tree bark. I buried my face against his shoulder.

"June, you said?"

"Yeah, that's when I'd be arriving."

"Nothing's definite? I won't stop you, you know that. You know me. Just... I want to talk more, okay?"

"Of course, darlin'."

I had learned these lessons with Edward. There really wasn't anything I could do to stop him. This wasn't about money, not entirely. Jasper wouldn't be able to watch from the sidelines.

It would be like sitting in an art class without being able to participate. Nothing in the classroom would pose as great a threat to me as a fully grown bull would for Jasper.

He'd hear the crowd, smell the livestock... and the only thing preventing him from pursuing his life passion would be me. How could I do that to him?

I saw the way he watched the sunset sometimes, so serious. He'd look to the horses, study his hands. When he thought I was sleeping, that's when I saw how much he missed Texas.

I had no choice but to understand. That didnt mean i had to accept it passively and wait with a first-aid kit. I had no intention of praying at the hospital, his blood staining my clothes, hoping I'd see him come back through the double doors.

This factor in our relationship had never gone away. It lay dormant, not a threat, but an obstacle we'd have to face eventually. I pushed my worry aside. If I let it remain, that's all I'd do until May.

"I won't hurt you, Alice. It's just an idea. We've got months to work everything out."

I wouldn't hurt him, either.

"A lot can happen before May," I looked into his eyes and didn't see any doubt. No hidden recrimination, he wasn't the least bit concerned yet. Or he didn't seem to be.

"Very true," he said.

"If we were to visit Texas and had to return before the rodeo..."

"Details later, okay? Answer that question, there'll be another one. I don't know if they're going to hold my place. We don't know if your parents are going to let you go. Later, Alice, we can talk about all of this later."

"So... what should we do until then?"

I slid my hands under the leather jacket. His skin was hot to the touch. Contentment followed. There really was plenty of time. We'd probably broach the subject sometime this week.

I loved him, he loved me. We could reach a compromise somehow. If Edward could be okay with Bella's gang ties, I could find a way to be alright with a few bulls. Very large bulls.

Very large charging and angry bulls.

Whatever.

It was Halloween and, technically, Jasper was wearing them. The thought made me giggle.

"What are you thinkin' about?"

"A bunch of things..."

I followed the hard lines of his shoulders down to the firm muscles in his chest. The indents of his ribs and definition to his abs, he shifted against me when I traced his hipbones.

"Alice," he chuckled, "... babe..."

I felt the tension in his arm, the growing restlesness in his body. Over all of that was Jasper's lack of urgency. He knew how to skirt the line between anticipation and frustration.

I did, too, but that didn't mean we couldn't push the envelope now and then.

I inched his shirt out of the way and used my nails to trace around the front waistline of his pants. His hand was still on my wrist, he could have stopped me. I felt the edge of his hipbones- god, I loved these pants!- they accentuated all my favorite parts of Jasper.

"Whoa- hang on." He laughed and stopped me from going to my knees. I pouted at him, all I wanted to do was see his reaction as I traced his hips with my tongue.

"Have a smoke," I grinned. "By the time it's done..."

"Much as I'd love to take you up on that offer-" he kissed me quickly in a way that took all the air from my lungs, "Bella's on her way over here."

"Bella? Really?" I turned and saw the white flash of her dress. "Why?"

"Probably because we've been out here for about fifteen minutes."

"Um... not to interrupt anything," Bella cleared her throat, "but both of your phones are off. Edward's stalling, I'm going to fake a call so he can't go onstage until I'm done. Five minutes, guys, that's all I can give ya."

Sighing with no real regret, he and I shared a look. Jasper held a few branches out of the way so we could move out from under the tree. We'd pick up where we left off later, no rush. Jas seemed calm enough, but then calm came easy for him.

"Bella, wait!" She smiled when she saw me and stopped walking away from us. "Thanks, reception's bad out here sometimes."

"No problem. We have everything under control, don't worry about it."

"You both walk back together," Jasper glanced at the house. "I'm gonna run over and set up real quick."

"Have fun with that," Bella's lips twitched. "You might want to wipe some of the pine needles off your- yeah, you got it."

Jasper had taken his jacket off. He shook it out and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"We were just talkin'."

"I'm sure, cowboy."

"I would've gone into the garage, but it was occupied earlier," Jasper smirked. "See ya'll in a few."

I smiled as Jasper took off. He let out one of his high energy cat-call, rebel yell sounds. It never failed to make me happy.

"Sorry," Bella apologized again. "Time goes by so fast, you know?"

"Really, it's not a huge deal." I took her hand. "Thanks for the warning, if anything. That could've been really awkward."

"Always," she laughed. "It's always awkward."

"Edward's costume, right? Worth waiting for?"

She glanced up at the brim of Edward's hat. "Absolutely. Was the horse thing your idea?"

"Nope," I smiled at her.

"Huh. I'll have to thank him later."

Jessica, Lauren, and a few of their close friends were on stage. They were all wearing varying shades of pink and purple. I wouldn't know who they were supposed to be. Their obsession with current pop culture had never interested me.

Thanks to Edward, I read books instead of magazines. We always had one book with us no matter what the situation. I didn't need to study Cliffsnotes with them or combine essays, and they accepted that any of my work wasn't up for dissection.

"... I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, I think you need a new one."

Lauren stepped to the middle of the stage.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend."

"Wow," Bella snorted. "Really?"

"No way," I breathed.

"Cause I can, cause I can do it better. There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? Hey, she's so stupid, just what were you thinking?"

Edward was onstage setting up the guitars. He looked really good, I was so proud of him! From his romantic gesture with the horse, to his performance onstage, with what I knew Bella had planned for later- this was going to be a Halloween he'd never forget. I was happy for him, Edward had needed more of this in his life.

Bella laughed as she watched Edward.

"I really love him, you know?" She smiled, "Look at him, he's not even aware she's singing."

"Why would he notice?"

"Well, they are right in front of him. When's the last time you saw him pass up the chance to ogle scantily clad women?"

Point for her. This was very true. I looked to Jasper who was looking at me. Nothing to worry about from him, either. He smirked, reading the expression on my face. Shaking his head slightly, he quirked an eyebrow at me.

Nope. No worries, I knew better than to think he'd want someone else.

"Are you planning revenge?"

"Not for this," Bella shook her head. "It wouldnt' be worth the effort."

With all that we had, wonderful as it was, part of me had been afraid that Jasper wouldn't want anything more from me after we slept together.

I hadn't known anything of southern courting. Everywhere else, when it came to high-school dating, Forks included, entailed- one date, fuck, two weeks pass, break up.

There were a few variations to the formula, some couples never made it past a few days, but generally... the process was pretty much the same.

It was why I hadn't tried to enter the dating scene. I had watched Edward flit from one girl to another, he hadn't ever seemed any happier. In some cases, they caused him more stress and worrying. Why would I want to seek that out for myself?

Sex was interesting, nothing more. I never wanted to try it for myself. For a long time, I thought I was aesexual. I believed in love, and romance, and all the things that seemed impossible to find in this society. That doesn't mean I was willing to blunder through multitudes of people in order to find it.

Jasper could never have been that callous. I knew he had experience in those areas, it was a fact he had told me bluntly because he felt I should know.

The news hadn't been that much of a surprise. I assumed most people lived that way. There was nothing wrong with sex, I just chose not to follow that road.

Edward had always made that very clear. He answered my girlish questions as best he could. It made me love him even more, looking back with the maturity I have now.

Edward fostered my quest for romance instead of destroying it with his reality. He didn't believe in soul mates or... well, really much of anything he can't physically see.

When I was younger, he would tell me that I was a secret princess- like Anastasia- and I should wait for my prince. It wasn't to be mistaken, he wasn't that prince. As I got older, his reasoning became more realistic. I also know now how hard he fought to keep me safe.

Jasper made the loneliness and yearning okay.

He also, unknowingly, made me feel incredibly inadequate.

Knowing next to nothing, except what Edward had tried to explain; what could I do to keep him when all the others had failed? Bella had succeeded, but she had a certain experience that someone like Edward would be grateful for.

As it turned out, I shouldn't have worried. We dated before we were actual friends. That was new for me, too. I had gone on a few dates, but none of the guys had been attractive to me. They all seemed to lack something.

One treated me like a doll and called me shorty. That date ended quickly. So, to keep things from being awkward, I turned them into friends. It was better that way all around.

They didn't treat me like a mindless bimbo, I wouldn't be another conquest for anyone in the cafeteria to brag about.

Jasper refused to fall into the friend category.

At first.

He resisted, I insisted. Edward would have been proud. Jasper managed to turn his acquiesence into a compromise. We would go out for an evening, as a couple, and if I didn't feel anything for him... that'd be it. We would be nothing but friends.

The problem, even then, was that I knew victory was his.

His response when I offered friendship-

"You want me to be your friend? Like all these city boys are to you around here?" He chuckled, tipped his head sideways so that the moon reflected from his eyes. "I don't think so, darlin'. Unless you want me callin' you for relationship advice. There was a girl in my History class that was lookin' to know me. Want me to ask your opinion on how to seal the deal?"

No. Not really. I had told him so just as bluntly. His point had been proven.

Fine.

I didn't know if his hair were as soft as it seemed. His lips, the strong line of his jaw, the scars I had seen on his hands and arms from ranch work. I'd be damned if someone else 'knew' him first.

Dating Jas was easy. It wasn't like hanging out, there was a feeling of... pleasurable expectation. As though the date could lead to something new. Something exciting. And, for the first time, that something was what I wanted to experience.

He had taken his half-sister's advice, which I made him promise never to do again. Instead of talking to Carlisle as he would have in Texas, Tanya convinced him to stick with modern times and lose his 'Gone With the Wind' crap.

Yeah, she's a keeper.

I knew something was bothering him, especially after he met Carlisle.

He admitted that he should have spoken to my Dad first, and now having gotten to know 'the chief surgeon' he didn't know how to make things right. Jasper called himself a 'roughneck bastard' and admitted that he dreaded the conversation.

For all of his confidence, Jasper was insecure when it came to me.

A surgeon, he kept repeating, with me possibly following the family career as a nurse or specialized doctor.

What in the hell did he have to offer, he asked? Land, dirt, horses and a stable... it wasn't the type of life I'd be able to lead.

We hit our first rough patch the night Jasper came to my house. He swore that I made it seem like we had a nice country cabin in the woods, albeit with large glass windows instead of wood panelling.

No... what I had said was: Esme designed the house around windows she wanted throughout the bottom level. Carlisle had ordered mahogany framing for the rest of our house.

I remember telling him that I liked our view of the forest from our balcony- which he thought meant porch- but I never used the word 'cabin' in my descriptions.

We had gotten over most of those issues by bonding one night in his stable.

I went to look for him because I'd been feeling upset about yelling at him. When he looked at me and said, 'you're rich,' I felt the ground slip out from underneath me. Finally letting someone in, not actually having any choice in the reaction, and feeling happy... only to let money take that happiness away.

Edward and I had been arguing about the topic. It was a bit of a sore subject for me. And then to have Jasper be so disbelieving, I told him it was an idiotic thing to be preoccupied with.

He didn't yell, but his quiet ferocity matched Edward's when someone tried to take something from him. He didn't understand why I had been hiding it from him, which was another misunderstanding.

That night in the stable, he heard from me, for the first time the true details of my past. Carlisle and Esme Cullen were not our biological parents. Trust fund kid I was not.

He now knew things I had only shared with Edward. Because of him… I had majorly creative impulses all of the time. I might have loved him a little because of that. He told me I made him ride better, his lady luck. Time flew when we were at the stables together, I was no longer afraid of horses.

His fight had been to save his Dad, their ranch, and his horses. He risked his life daily, Edward and I had risked ours nightly. We found that there was more in common for us than it seemed.

He had a way of listening; I was used to being treated as a child. People did it unintentionally, probably because I was so short. Edward spoke to me as an adult, but he would do the same for anyone. Lowering his intelligence to fit in had never been his way.

Bella, too, she took my side and took it upon herself to snap at whomever patted me on the head.

Jasper thought she was funny. I tended to agree. Her reactions weren't normal, Edward was right. Bella was refreshing.

She helped me unravel Jasper's mind, sexually. I was reading the signs wrong. Jas had admitted to me, long after the fact, that I was one of the most evasive people he'd met.

Apparently, each time he had gone to make a move, I had done something to stave him off. He had finally decided to let me make inItiate things.

It happened one night in the barn when I took his hand and put it on my thigh. He would drink, sometimes I joined him. Jasper could hold his liquor, and inebriated he was good-spirited, friendly.

I'll never forget the way he smiled at me. He had been staring at a stall across the stable. We were sitting on loose hay in the loft, hay bales stacked behind us.

He had put a heavy blanket over some of the hay. The ends could be sharp, he warned me. We settled into place; the stable was heated, it was always a comfortable temperature inside.

Jasper had stacked a few blankets around the barn for me just in case I became cold. It confused me at the time. He had let me into his space, but he hadn't truly kissed me yet.

Jasper sat with one of his knees up, an elbow resting on it, the bottle of liquor balanced against his leg. He held the bottle loosely, his other hand had been wedged between us.

I moved to sit between his legs, he made room for me. At that point, I had been content to have his arms around me. It was comfortable, I liked spending time with him. Us and the horses, it was so quiet and peaceful there.

The position was one of my favorites. Sitting sideways between his spread thighs, one of his legs would frame my back. He'd put an arm around my shoulders to hold me steady.

Jasper usually kept his other leg flat on the ground, which made it convenient for me to put mine over his. We had sat that way many times, but... maybe it was the alcohol, I wanted to do more than sit with him.

He seemed to be having problems with hand placement again so I held one and put the other high up on my leg. I might have misjudged a little, he distracted me. I had been aiming for the space right above my knee.

He didn't seem to mind.

I saw him grin, look at the ground.

He took his hat off and shook his hair free. I touched the silky strands, smoothed a few to the side so I could see his eyes.

"I was beginnin' to lose hope."

"For what?"

"D'you know how many times..." he chuckled to himself. "I thought I was readin' the signs wrong, that maybe you didn't want me like I want you."

"... really?"

"You've no idea, darlin'."

"Well," I felt myself blush. "I do want... to know you better."

"How much better?"

And then the grin became a smile.

Bella told me it was strange for a man to wait as long as Jasper had for a kiss, let alone anything else. She said it was downright unnatural- ok, she might have said 'chivalrous as fuck'- for him to devote hours for the loss of my virginity.

She seemed impressed, though, but I didn't know how to ask her why.

Now I knew how much Jasper had been restraining.

I also had some idea that what he had done for me... it wasn't the painful and embarrassing experience it could have been. It didn't hurt to walk the next day. I ached a little, but in a good way.

Edward and I had shared a moment. I understood why he had gone after sex so much. He told me about switching his schedule around.

WIth all I had seen, heard, stumbled in on... I felt it was cool if I shared some Jasper thoughts.

He lit the end of a blunt, blew the smoke out of his window. "Good, huh?"

"Fuck yes," I answered him. He laughed at my uncharacteristic swearing.

We clinked shot glasses.

"Oh yeah," he agreed, satisfied for me. "I was worried about you for awhile."

"No need anymore," I laughed. "That's one less thing for you to be concerned about."

He poured me another glass.

"You know that chick magazine you read? Cosmo or whatever the fuck? They have a calendar," he smiled crookedly. "A different position each day. You might want to invest in one of those."

"Going to lend me some of your porn next?"

"No," he looked at me side-ways, laughed. "That's sacred."

I wanted to ask Jasper what sort of porn he liked, but we hadn't gotten to it yet. There were so many other things to do first...

Jasper and Edward were doing the final tuning of their instruments. We had rigged the speakers to a higher-end karoke machine.

Different voices could be edited out, bands liked the leave the vocal parts and play the rest themselves. I wasn't sure what they had planned, Edward wouldn't tell me anything about it.

He motioned for Bella to approach the stage. She walked to the edge of the platform, Edward met her there. Charlie wasn't here yet, it was safe.

Bella was half an inch away from looking cross-eyed by the time they separated. She caught her breath and laughed, Edward pulled her head back so that her head rested on his shoulder. He sucked at her neck, one of her hands tangled in his hair.

Jasper crooked his finger at me.

I stepped onto the stage to give them some space.

"Gonna wish me luck?"

"Isn't it bad to do that?"

"I don't know," he kissed my cheek. "Want to test fate?"

"How about I kiss you instead?"

"Mm..." the rest of what he was going to say was lost against my lips.

Lights dimmed around us.

I had to check.

The lights really had dimmed. It created a nice glow effect, not like the blaring colored lighting scheme a lot of people used around Halloween.

Bella and I stood together, waiting.

"You ready, man?"

"Whenever you are," Edward replied.

They grinned at one another. The music started.

"Angel's dancin' in my head again..."

Edward had said he was good, but Jasper was so far beyond_ good_. His fingers flew, he sang effortlessly. His voice was pure country, smooth and passionate.

He knew the song, that much was obvious. The way he moved, as though he'd been onstage before. There was no evidence of stage fright. Why would there be? He was singing for me, I knew he wasn't seeing anyone else.

"... 'cause she found me, now there's dancin' in my head. Am I crazy? Well, yes, I am."

Edward hadn't joined in yet. He concentrated purely on his guitar. I was surprised that he so readily jumped into performing onstage. He had started playing at one of the group homes. His lessons continued in New York, Edward learned from some of the underground bands.

He practiced when he could, usually with borrowed instruments. When we were on the run, it was one of the few ways he kept himself entertained.

I was proud of him again. He had come out of his defensive shell so completely...

"I don't think that it seems really all that strange when I'm skippin' down the road singin' her name. But if you could see her walk across a crowded room then you would understand why I go insane."

Jasper smiled at me, I wrapped his jacket more closely around me. He was amazing.

"The way she glistens in the moonlight. The way she outshines the stars brighter than any sun," Edward stepped closer to the microphone. His voice wasn't naturally accented, but it was still smooth. He smirked, played the accompanying chords. "And I don't mind saying that sometimes I understand..."

"I'm writin' this lullaby, the coyotes cry. Well, they're singin' in my head."

"Am I crazy?"

"Hell yes, I am."

I saw Edward shake his head. This was definitely not his type of music. It made me wonder what other choices Jasper had proposed. I also knew, from the way he and Bella looked at one another, that the song had taken on another meaning for them.

Something darker, more primal. I wasn't sure how, but they tended to see things differently from Jasper and me.

"And I don't think that it seems really all that strange when I'm outside doin' cartwheels in the rain..."

"But if you could see her walk across a crowded room," Edward took over. "Then you would understand why I go _insane_."

He bent his leg, pressed the guitar against his thigh. His body bent forward, light-hearted aggression... he and Bella would be having lots of fun later.

"Oh, then I tell you man, hell yeah, I just can't get enough..." Edward dropped back, let Jasper take center stage again.

"Cause I'm Crazy in Love."

Jasper finished the line and raked his hand over the guitar strings. He moved around the stage, as the adrenaline rose he let out one of his cat calls.

Hallogen lights, no matter how low they were set, still generated heat. Jasper's hair tangled and curled at the ends. Perspiration dotted on his forehead. He tossed his head to the side whenever he needed to clear his sight. Both of his hands were occupied.

They would be later, too.

His leather vest hinted at the hard muscles of his chest and abs. The strong line of his throat, the flush that had spread across his cheekbones. His eyes were intense, sharp with memory and still light, happy.

Every now and then Jasper would look over at me. Sometimes the moment held, seemingly infinite. Others, all he had to do was smile.

Anything Jasper loved doing, he loved to the core of his being. It showed and was infectious.

Humor. Love, lust, desire, happiness.

He looked so comfortable everywhere, all the time. When he was having a good time, he wanted to share it with everyone. He didn't like to see people in pain, it bothered him even more when it came to animals.

I loved him so very much.

Girls who had never heard country music, and who might have scorned it otherwise, were laughing and dancing in their own ways.

Jasper was a man who had worked hard as a child, nearly killed himself a few years later to keep his ranch running. For all of that, he was able to face life with optimistically, same as I did.

"Well, angels are laughin' in my head again."

"I can see them laughin' but I just don't give a damn. Cause see it's you and me..." he broke off and stepped backwards, laughing at whatever expression had been on Bella's face.

"Well, she ought to be," Jasper sang, as though replying to Edward. "And there's angels in her head. Am I in love?"

"Yes, I am," I sang the words loud enough for him to hear.

Jasper demonstrated a real Rebel yell. A few people jumped. Bella and I laughed while cheering for them. They were both out of breath, Jasper played the next part. Edward fell back, provided backup.

The song had been fast from beginning to end. More demanding toward the middle, they had needed to pace themselves for the high-intensity wind down.

At the end, Edward and Jasper shook hands, hugged one another guy style. So many people were cheering, calling for them. They had just become the two most popular men in FHS.

"We're takin' five, ya'll. Be back in a few."

"Smoke?" Edward stepped off the platform and put his arm around Bella.

"Always," Bella held up her lighter.

"Jasper?"

"No thanks," he declined Edward's invitation. "Your song's too fast for me to be slow."

I noticed Carlisle and Esme had come to watch the next performers. So long as Edward didn't do anything obscene, from a parental standpoint, we would be fine.

"What song? You might as well tell me now. I'm going to find out in four minutes."

"You'll appreciate it," he assured her.

"I'm sure," she smiled wickedly. "Not even a hint?"

"I like it rough," was all he said.

Bella chewed on her lip to keep from laughing. I met her gaze and raised an eyebrow.

"Um... you're singing Lady Gaga?"

"What the fuck?' He stared at her in horror. "No! Jesus fucking Christ, really?"

"That's one of her songs. 'I Like It Rough.'"

"Now I really want to smoke." He glanced around, saw our parents. "in the bathroom."

"Three minutes," Bella said.

"I was quoting," I heard Edward tell her as they walked away.

Quoting?

Oh boy.

**Authors End Note:**  
I have the general idea of what happens in the next two chapters. BPOV is up next, followed by EPOV, back to normal. I needed the chapters to have certain content, and Jasper's song didn't fit in anywhere. I ran out of cigarettes, heard Alice, and now that I've got a carton... we'll hear from Edward and Bella a lot more. =).


	39. This Is Halloween

**Chapter 39**

**Authors Note:** The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2: **I told 'Bruiser' I would do it. Here ya go, love! Thanks for all of your story thoughts. I hope you've been okay, I haven't 'seen' you in forever. Miss you!  
**Authors Note 3**: Um, wow. Chapter 39. Next we're onto 40! Thanks to everyone for sticking with the story, recommending it to people, pushing it on your sites, and posting Twitter comments! You've all helped me reach nearly two thousand reviews altogether. That's amazing! Not counting those who have added me to their Alert lists... really, thank so very much. =D

**Authors Note 4:**  
Robert Pattinson and a... guitar-  
http:/wouldyoutapthat(dot)files(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2009/07/rphello-kitty(dot)jpg  
(Love the expression on his face, though. =).)

**Playlist**  
http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The_Handcuff_Bracelet/28554942  
Get Up, Get High- Lords of Acid  
Hang You From the Heavens- The Dead Weather  
Pain- Three Days Grace  
Circus- Britney Spears  
This Is Halloween- The Nightmare Before Christmas  
Next Go Round- Nickelback

**Bella's Point of View**

"That was... not what I expected," I laughed.

Edward snorted, made a path across the porch and down to his driveway. Alice had given me the idea. We couldn't be seen going in and out of Edward's room all the time. The forest, however, would provide cover, a good vantage point of the path, and a pine scent to dull burning marijuana.

"You should have heard some of the other songs he wanted to play. I mean, they were... _romantic_, I guess, but...," he glanced over at me and shook his head. "No way. He was going to go on, solo, but then he remembered Kane. Alice liked the song. That's the important part. You're going to like mine better, though."

"She liked the hotness that was Jasper, you mean." I didn't expect him to reply. That would be asking for too much. "How did you manage to get all of the lines with curses in them? I don't think Jasper sang one."

"You noticed that, huh?" He stopped short and looked back at the house. "We have to go in, anyway. All of the stuff's in my drawer."

"Got'cha covered," I reached into the top of my boot and pulled out a blunt. Edward had rolled it earlier, all I had done was take it with me.

"I fucking _love_ you." He kissed me again like he had on-stage, fast and hard and leaving me reeling. He steadied me by putting his arm around my waist again.

"You'll love me more in a minute."

Tree, tree, tree branches. We were safe.

"Spark it?"

I passed it to him, waited for him to take out his lighter. If he didn't have one, we were screwed. My boots were tight, a full-size lighter wouldn't fit down the sides.

A Zippo, very nice.

"One of Alice's Halloween presents," he explained. "It's just a thing... started it a long time ago."

"You gave gifts on Halloween rather than Christmas?"

"Um, no. I still got her stuff. I mean, commercials were everywhere," he lit the blunt.

His eyes went gray, remembering.

"The movies they played; a tree, wrapped presents underneath it. She was curious, I didn't want her to miss out, you know? I mean, how do you explain to a kid that most holidays only apply to the rich? So we did the Christmas thing for a few years. Halloween, always. It's so much cooler."

His irritation had completely gone by the time he finished. All of the things that had been bottled up, never talked about, Edward was now addressing. On his own time, of course, at his own pace, but his rants had grown shorter.

His irritation level, during said rants, didn't nearly rival his angry outbursts of the past.

"Free candy," I guessed.

"Yup," he grinned. "Bags like the ones Alice put together tonight. That's what I made sure we left with, it was fucking incredible."

"Speaking of incredible things..." I moved his hand over and took a quick hit. "What exactly happened last Halloween?"

"Uh," he cleared his throat. "What do you mean? We had a party here."

"Mhm... and during the party, girls got into your room?"

"Carlisle forbid me to use any of 'my tactics' to keep people out. My door didn't have a lock back then... but it's because of that night Carlisle and Esme finally agreed it'd be a good idea if I installed a lock in the door."

"They didn't want you to have one?"

More importantly, with Edward's paranoia matching mine, how could he sleep knowing his door was unlocked?

"They never came out and said 'don't lock your door.' But I knew that they _wondered. _Before that, I really didn't think they'd let me stay. Look at me, right? And then they did. The lock thing really wasn't that big of a deal. I did something with cans... it was a better system, mine. Louder."

"I'm sure..."

"I waited too long to bring it up. By the time I did, they shared that _look_, you know what I'm talking about? The one that says, 'huh. We're really not comfortable with this, but...' So I played it off, let it go. It had already been a year and a half. Fuck it."

I had taken three hits in the time it took him to get to the middle of his explanation. Leaning against the tree, I watched him. He was still flushed from being onstage, his hair was damp around the edges of his face.

"Edward, does it really need to take this long to explain? Will the story end that badly, I'll need the extra information to pad the catastrophe that took place?"

"No." He laughed and sought his own high. I was done.

I was already waiting with two cigarettes.

"Then? Jessica... your bed?"

"I can't tell it to you straight like that. It'll sound all sorts of fucked up."

"_They're_ all sorts of..." I curbed myself. "Never mind. Just... try, okay?"

He ran a hand through his hair, sighed.

"Uhh... Jessica entered my room, after I had smoked myself out. I woke up, was confused, and then kicked her out. Carlisle and Esme... it was this huge thing, and it resulted with me being able to lock my door, no question, no need to ask."

"Cool. It doesn't really matter. I was just curious."

"Yeah, well, you remembered and asked about it..."

I smiled to hide the fury I felt at Jessica sneaking into his _bed_.

"Bella," he crooked-grinned at me. "You didn't think I wanted her there?"

That added a whole new, unwanted, level to the whole situation.

"No, I don't think you... what did you mean 'confused'?"

"See? Now do you see why I wanted you to have all of the back story?"

"... yes," I had to agree.

"Bella... why does it matter so much?"

"It doesn't," I protested immediately.

But it did.

Somehow, the thought of vapid, brain-dulled, costumed Jessica Stanley seeing Edward while he slept, creeping into bed with him... it made me dangerously mad and I really didn't know why. It wasn't as though I could go back and changed what happened.

Edward had slept around, I knew that the first day we met. He confirmed it on a few occasions, same as I had. None of his other partners bothered me, except for the ones from his childhood, Jessica, Lauren, their crew, Tanya.

And Tanya didn't count at all because nothing had happened. Lauren was a vicious bitch, that was enough to piss me off.

"You're really mad," he stated.

"Not at you."

"Okay, not at me," Edward agreed. "But you're really, honestly, truthfully upset about what happened."

"But, see, I'm really not. I mean, I am, obviously, but I don't know _why_."

"Well... to sidetrack for a minute, you think I don't feel the same way?"

"I don't understand."

"You with whomever. It makes me want to...," his eyes darkened. I had an idea of what he wanted to do. "Thinking of you having to do things... I feel the same way you do. I'm not saying you slept with them," he said adamantly. "I'm not implying..."

"Edward-"

"... because you know I don't- "

"Edward," I laughed. "I know you don't? You love sex with me too much to entertain thoughts like that."

"Very true."

"Guess what?" I asked before he could say something to distract me.

"What?"

"That was the _longest_ evasion I've ever seen someone pull off."

"I wasn't evading."

"Yes, you were," I grinned at him.

"No, I wasn't. There were facts that needed to be stated. I stated them.

"Ok." I was willing to let the subject go because it made me vaguely uncomfortable, and I still didn't know why.

That Edward was so protective of his space, to know _Jessica_ had found a way through?

No, that wasn't the reason.

It might be. That sounded better than any of the alternatives. I liked that one best, at least. It was less angry-girlfriend and more Practical Bella, I could be okay with that.

"We're never talking about this again," he said.

"Sure."

Maybe he could inadvertently shed some insight for me.

"Then I'll tell you, but only this once, and, like I said, we're never mentioning it again." He crooked-smiled at me. "It was a horrible incident, really fucking mortifying."

"Spare me details, okay? I'm running on alcohol and sugar. That pot's really strong so... don't make me vomit."

Edward raised an eyebrow, but couldn't help from letting a snicker or two past.

"You're probably not going to believe me, but that Halloween I was kinda tired from studying."

"I'll believe you. But only because I've seen you study, maybe, four times."

"So after I hung out for a while, I snuck back into my room. The lights were off, I had just drifted off with the help of Mary Jane. You know that moment, where you're asleep, but not entirely? Not like a normal sleep high..."

"Sure. The Phasing period, right before you black out."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Jessica thought my room was the bathroom, or at least that's what she said. My music was on, I could swear I was facing the door. You know how I am."

"Right..."

"I didn't see her come in. No light across the floor, I didn't see her use the bathroom like she said she did. You'd think I would have heard, right? I mean, I didn't really give a fuck... I didn't expect anyone to enter, so maybe I missed it?"

He lit another cigarette. I declined, the high was just now fading. If I had another dose of menthol, I'd be hazy for Edward's performance.

"Anyway, I woke up and... she was kneeling next to the bed. My first reaction was to sit up. My first mistake. I guess she took that as some sort of invitation, and, uhh..."

Edward leaned against a tree and propped his foot on one of the roots. His head was down and toward the ground because the wind kept blowing smoke into his face.

His eyes were narrowed, but his gaze caught mine. He shrugged his shoulders, uncomfortable again. If it weren't so dark... was he flushing?

"I _just_ woke up, you know? There was a chick, she smelled like alcohol so I knew she wasn't illegal. She sort of, um, made me accessible to her, and... before that point I didn't _know_ it was Jess."

"Jess?"

My tone held no malice. I noticed a change and commented, same as Edward had felt the need to state his facts.

"Her mouth was wrapped around my cock." He snorted and absently rubbed his knuckles against the tree's bark. "I call her Jessica. Except when she annoys me, which is usually all of the time, then I call her Stanley. In this situation?"

"Alright, fine," I nodded. "Fine. It's cool."

He looked at me dubiously. I smiled innocently as I could to show that I wasn't mad about that part.

"When she looked up at me, I saw it was Jessica. She had a condom in her mouth, then it was on, then she was on me... I really didn't want her there. Honestly. I knew she would never leave me alone if I even _considered_ fucking her."

"As long as your priorities are straight."

My eyebrow twitched, but I couldn't help smiling. Edward...

Wow.

"i got her off me and stood up. She thought it'd be a good idea to kneel... right as my fucking door opened, I pulled her head back to make her get up. Carlisle saw her first, Esme came to see what he was up to at my room... oh my fucking god."

"That's awful, Edward." I tried to keep from laughing, but the mental image was too strong. Edward's look of horror, denial. Jessica, confused as always.

"They both fumbled to slam the door shut. I wrapped myself in a sheet. Jessica was still in her costume, thank fuck, but jesus fucking _christ_, it looked so... I had been yelling at her, her mascara was running all down her face."

"She... cried?"

That was really just- ... sad. Pathetically so.

"No! Bullshit, she cried. She tried to take me down her throat and couldn't. It made her gag. A lot. Her eyes watered and her voice was hoarse. It looked so fucking _bad_."

"Did your parents believe you, finally?"

"They gave me the benefit of the doubt. I don't think so, though. They never mention what happened, I don't remind them. It works well that way, sometimes."

"Thanks for telling me the whole story."

"You can ask anything you want, you know that."

"Yup," I smiled and leaned against his chest. "So can you."

"Good. Then later you get to tell me one of your embarrassing sex stories."

"I- what? That wasn't part of the agreement."

"It's only fair. That was a huge story. I still have nightmares. It was traumatic, I had to get a lock for my door."

"I don't have any."

"Mmk," he smirked. "Sure."

"You don't need to hear any of those stories. Besides, it doesn't matter, right? Because..." I tilted my face up so that my cheek rested against his throat. He looked down at me and I rested my mouth over his pulse.

"Because?"

"When I wake you with a blow job, you say my name. And I _can_ deep throat."

"You have no idea..." he took my hand and wrapped my fingers around his erection, "how many times I've gotten off thinking about sliding down..."

Edward dropped his cigarette and put his hand on my throat. I shivered partly because his skin was cold and partly because I wanted him all over again.

"... this," he nearly hissed.

Glancing from his hand to my throat, which he had spanned with his long fingers, he tightened his grip and made me smile. Small compared to just his hand, his knuckle brushed the underside of my jaw. I smiled at him, happy to stay for as long as he kept me here.

"That too." His eyes rolled back, he moved his shoulders and cracked his neck.

I felt the tension in his arm. He did it on purpose because he knew it made me wet. He was barely holding me now, but Edward kept his arm strained, his fingertips rested against the tree.

"After your song, I want to show you the rest of my outfit," I told him.

"Fucking finally," he moved his hand and lowered his face to my shoulder.

"Where can we go? Hotels are out, I don't know if Charlie's patrolling later tonight."

"Not my room, not yours. The forest isn't going to cut it. Not the meadow, too exposed. Fuck," he groaned. "We have this fucking problem all of the time."

The vibration made me shudder.

"We could sneak into school?" I shook my head. "No, that's desperation. Let's try not to break any new laws to get laid, okay?"

"Well... fuck. I'll have to think about it. This could be difficult."

The wet and throbbing feeling between my legs wasn't helping me process useful information.

If most of Forks was off limits, I had to widen the search area beyond Forks. Port Angeles, no way. We were sure to get caught.

Both of our cars were pretty ostentatious. All it took was one of Charlie's cop buddies, or Carlisle and Esme's friends to mention seeing our vehicle outside of a hotel. Even parked down the street, it would still be too close.

"Oh my god! Jacob! We can go to Jacob's!"

"Jacob?" Edward clapped his hands together and made his voice go high and breathy. "Omg, he has _all_ the answers!"

"Shut up, I did not sound like that."

"You kinda did," he smirked. "Now you know how I feel when you imitate me."

"No, I don't. _My_ imitations are good. You know I didn't mean it that way. Ass."

Edward laughed. "Think he'd have an extra room? That place of his was pretty big."

"Want me to call and find out?"

"Sure. That way we don't have to lie."

I propped one of my boots up on the tree. He ran his hand underneath my skirt while I pulled out my phone.

"I'm going to fall," I warned him.

"Think so?" Edward anchored my leg in place. He slid one of his thighs between my knees so that I could rest back against the tree instead of bracing against it.

I was nearly riding his leg. If he moved his hand, let me drop al little lower...

The number was easy enough to find. I had spoken with Jake not too long ago.

"Hey!" I heard a lot of voices in the background. Jake must have moved somewhere more quiet, I could hear him clearly now. "Happy Spooky Night. What's up? Lookin' for a party?"

"Actually, no. Looking to get _away_ from a party. Can you help with that?"

"Hmm... for you? I suppose so. Think you can get me five more clients?"

"So long as you don't expect any more from me."

"What does he want?" Edward's eyes were riveted to the phone.

"Five more people to buy from him," I shrugged. "I could get them by the time I get off the bus tomorrow."

"And a percentage from every extra person you bring me. That deal is open-ended, not just for tonight." Jake added.

"No way. I'm not looking for employment, Jacob. A favor for a favor is acceptable, but after five, I'm done."

"Had to try," he said.

It was one of his key lines. There wasn't a dare that he turned down when we were kids, he had to try and see if he could surpass himself.

"I was going to use that room later. Those five customers will help pay for the hotel-"

"And then some," I had to throw in. "You can order everything from their room-service menu, rent all of the movies, and have a view with the revenue I'm bringing you for a single room."

Might as well cut through the bullshit right here.

"So much for not breaking laws," Edward smiled to himself.

"It's not breaking the law," I protested. "I'm passing on information. That's all. The Res is known for harboring spiritual remedies. I'll be sending people there for... healing herbal therapy that was passed down from generation to generation. Guaranteed to ease feelings of stress and anxiety."

"I like that," Jake complimented. "Mind if I use it?"

"Throw some of those herbs in the room tonight and I'll write what I said down for you."

"Done." I knew Jake was smiling.

"Great. Text me when everything's set-"

"It's set now." His voice became muffled, he was talking to someone else. It wasn't long before he was back, I heard the rustling as he put it back up to his ear. "I reserved it, had to fight these animals for the rights. Three rooms, Bells. Do you know how many people there are-"

"A lot of extra cash, Jake."

"There are silk sheets on the bed, Bella."

"What color?"

"Black, of course. New. Very Halloweeny."

I almost whimpered. Edward and I could be there in fifteen minutes. Just the thought of his pale skin against the silken sheets...

"Bella?"

"Breathe," Edward stroked the pulse in my upper thigh. "Is he fucking around with you?"

I shook my head no.

"I'm okay," I managed to say.

Fuck, Edward, please move your hand higher.

"I'll text you when I'm on the way over?" Had that been coherent? The words sounded fast now that I thought back. Edward and his roving hand...

"Sure." Jake didn't seem to hear any difference. "You know the three guest rooms on the second story?"

"Um, no. I've never been to the-" I had to choke back a gasp. Edward's eyes glowed a grayish blue, the normal color changed by moonlight.

He rubbed his thumb over the wet spot on my panties.

Music blasted from Jacob's side of the call.

"Text me," he yelled. Then the call disconnected.

"Fuck!" I nearly threw my phone into the woods. "Nice of him to help, but he kept _talking_..."

I grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him closer to me. My nails dug into his arm, the dark ink of his tattoo was light compared to my black nail polish.

How would all of these color variations look against the black sheets?

Edward's mouth was on mine, he swallowed my moan. Wrapping his arms around my waist, I let my leg fall. My lower body was pressed as close to him as I could get.

It almost hurt how hard he held me against his chest, bending me backwards. Almost, but not quite. A tease in and of itself. The arousal pulsing through my body was nearly painful, too.

"I should have been onstage five minutes ago."

"But-" I crossed my wrists, putting my other hand over the top of his, I tried to keep him from moving.

He took both of my hands in his. That wasn't where I'd been going with my tactic. Edward gently pulled me away from the tree.

"Edward-"

"Later," he took my wrists behind his back. "Look at it this way, if it helps. In half an hour from now, I'll be inside of you."

I glared at his back.

If it helps.

Ha!

The walk back to his patio passed in a blur. I screamed in my head most of the way, denial and frustration making me want to claw something apart. As we turned the corner and I saw the bright lights, I composed myself.

Jasper saw us and nodded before turning back to his guitar. He tightened a few strings, talked to Alice.

"You okay?" Edward stopped in front of the stage.

"I will be in thirty minutes."

Jasper shrugged out of his vest and put it around Alice's shoulders. Edward looked over at him, raised an eyebrow at me.

I licked my bottom lip and smiled.

Oh, yes.

He unbuttoned the shirt quickly, slid it from his shoulders.

Fuck me.

Shrugging out of the fabric, his muscles rippled as he threw it at me.

..., please?

I buried my face in the soft black material. Pot, Axe, there were pine needles stuck in part of his collar. I remembered the way this shirt had stretched across his broad shoulders as he leaned over me.

The way this smell had surrounded me, so much stronger with Edward underneath it.

Watching him, breathing him in, I felt the burning frustration become a tolerable ache. This I could handle. Anything other than being away from Edward when all I wanted to do was scream in orgasm.

"Mask, too?" I asked.

He shook his head, not able to hear me over Jasper's practice notes. "What did you say?"

"Don't wear the Zorro mask for this song?"

"You want the whole deal, huh?"

"Every time."

He handed me his hat, mask, and sword. Leather wrist cuffs, oh my fuck. I loved them, I'd always wanted some. Damn his crazy accessories!

"Easier to move this way," he clarified.

"By all means." Edward saw me snap the leather cuff in place on my wrist, but he didn't say anything.

I wasn't wearing my handcuff bracelet today. It would have gotten in the way later. I had worried that the metal would snag my dress. His, however, was flat and wouldn't be a hindrance at all.

"You ready?" He looked over his shoulder at Jasper.

My eyes were drawn to the contours of his abs, the strong line of his throat and jaw. So difficult to bite when he tensed against me, I had to fight to get my teeth around his skin.

A skull and crossbones sat in the black stone of his industrial.

I hadn't been the only one layering costumes. His was unintentional, and that made it so much better.

"Whenever you are, man. I've been tryin' to get the speaker to work the way it's 'sposed to."

Edward's lips twitched.

"You figure it out?"

"Yep. Just as you were walkin' up."

Edward guy-nodded at Jasper thanking him for stalling.

"Five second pause, okay?"

"Sure," Jas agreed.

The person controlling his Ipod nodded.

"He hated this song for the longest time," Alice said quickly. "Well, he liked it, but he hated liking it. Does that make sense?"

"Yes."

"Now, I think it's taken on a whole new meaning for him. He learned to play that a _long _time ago."

"They're both very, very good," I said.

"Aren't they?" Alice grinned. "Jasper's been playing forever, Edward falls a few years short, but they both seem to have a knack for music."

"I'll say."

Edward slung the guitar over his head. Fuck, that was incredibly hot. There was a confidence to him that had been lacking before.

"He played this song until he nearly memorized it. Not for the words, but because he said the notes were really fun to play. It's been a long time since Edward picked up an instrument. I'm not sure why he stopped, but... now he's playing again."

"It wasn't me," I said automatically, putting my arm around her shoulder to take any possible sting from my words.

"So stubborn," she muttered.

Edward and I had both felt the emotions Jasper wanted to convey, but there was more to it than that. A darker side, a whisper around the corner... the song had ended leaving me wanting more.

"Pain... without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at allll."

He looked at me; I was smiling, digging my nails into his shirt. I loved this song. It had always meant more to me after I had gotten to know Edward.

"You're sick of feeling numb. You're not the only one. I'll take you by the hand and I'll show you a world that you can understand."

"This life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work. Trust me, and take my hand. When the lights go out you'll understand." Jasper made his guitar sound mournful and then hopeful in only a few chords.

Edward caressed the guitar, coaxed notes from the instrument with every violent-looking motion.

It made me think of the way he could kiss me, as though he wanted to devour everything I was. Yet, at the same time, with his hand fisted in my hair, claiming me, it added an edge that I craved. He always seemed to know what I needed, how to make me feel amazing.

"Anger and agony are better than misery. Trust me, I've got a plan. When the lights go out, you'll understand."

Edward grinned at me despite Jasper's singing of the words. His eyes were fever bright, very blue. That's what I had thought love was. Fast, and hard, and all-consuming. It had been that way with Edward at first, and still partially was.

Jumping from one thing to the next, always dealing with some kind of problem. If there wasn't an issue at school, there was one outside of it. When we didn't have to deal with either of those, there was something going on with one of our families.

Hard, fast, rough- slightly painful, always leaving me wanting more. Wanting him, having to wait for the most opportune moment, getting him but having to cut things short... I completely understood why Edward chose this song.

Lately, when we managed to find alone time, while our movements were still frenzied due to delayed gratification, there was a gravity to the act that hadn't been there before. It was more than fucking. I wouldn't say we 'made love' because the instances where we had fucked without one of us being in some sort of pain... not very often.

To 'make love' I assumed both parties should be in prime physical condition. No bruised ribs, no black eyes, completely healed knuckles, no fresh scars.

That could be awhile.

Holding the guitar against his chest, Edward bent forward and played the incredibly fast notes. He leaned back when there was a brief break. His breathing had picked up, but there was no sign of fatigue in Edward's voice.

"Pain... without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough because I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."

There was barely any downtime in this song. Like Jasper's, it demanded a lot from the musicians.

"I know that you're wounded," Edward sang.

"You know that I'm here to save you," Jas took over.

"I'm always here for you. I know that you'll thank me," Edward smirked, "... later."

They used playing time to catch their breath.

"Pain... without love. Pain, I can't get enough."

The way Jas sang and looked at Alice, I squeezed her shoulder. Closure for the two of them, also, it seemed. Jasper had a dark side.

"Pain, I like it rough because I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."

The last note Edward played hung in the air. He sustained it smoothly, gracefully.

Jasper sang the next part, but Edward had me captivated.

The climax, so to speak, was nigh. Edward got to one knee, rock star style. I had to catch my breath at how well he know how to move his body.

So feline, his movements, Edward bent his other knee, but kept his foot on the ground. His eyes held memories as he stared at the floor. Violence, hostility, new meanings for pain.

Yet the way he looked at me, holding hope for what we might become...

When we could be Edward and Bella, not Edward and Bella to the rescue. That day was forthcoming. We had tied up most of our lose ends, the Res and Jake being open-ended. There was nothing wrong with having friends.

Mike Newton was probably hiding underground. He still didn't know that we were in the clear. Edward wouldn't let me tell him. He would chuckle to himself each time Mike went pale when Charlie was mentioned. We had helped procure his safety, which was the main point. Mike could sweat it out for awhile, he wouldn't make any stupid mistakes in the meantime.

Lauren and her crew really didn't bother me anymore. They could if they tried, but after I caught them in the stairwell, aside from their karaoke song, they left me alone. Their little comments stopped, Lauren stopped sniping at me in passing.

Not bad for two months.

And... I loved Edward. I wanted to have a real relationship with him, including all of the corny and sentimental things I denied liking.

I let go of Alice gently and went to sit on the stage. Edward looked up at me.

All of what he was remembering seemed to fade. His eyes cleared, his expression held nothing but lust and intense promises for later. He studied my face and missed a few notes.

I don't think anyone else noticed, but the second he registered whatever my expression had been, Edward had froze. Letting Jasper play a few bars of the song, he had been very still, staring at my face.

Then he crooked grinned at me. It was very quick, I almost missed it. There was no denying the understanding and happiness on his face. Whatever he had seen, he liked, a lot.

Though there was annoyance now, in the way he played.

It only took a few seconds before I felt it, too, coursing through my body. He was here, in front of me. We had both learned to talk afterward, and that was more than fine with me. I wanted him so badly that I couldn't breathe.

By the time they finished playing, I was nearly shaking. He was Edward, mine. I loved him, he loved me. The way I wanted him, endlessly, always reaching for more instead of letting what we felt settle.

I secretly hoped that the craving would never entirely go away. If it meant that I got to feel this... alive with him, for years to come; what else did I need?

We could be passionate and not have to light candles and play mood music.

"Find your Dad," Edward helped me stand.

I put my forearms against his chest and pretended to be cold. We moved to the stage's side so that we wouldn't be in everyone's direct view. I was shivering, but not because of the weather.

Edward wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to bite down into his chest, roll my eyes up and see him shudder.

"I'll tell Carlisle and Esme that we're going to a Res costume party. Alice and Jasper might want to tag along. Whomever's out of their parental conversation first, fill Alice in?"

"Sounds great," I replied.

It wrenched at things inside of me to let him go.

Twenty minutes.

I found Charlie easily. He was standing at the counter talking to some of his work friends. They were all wearing baseball uniforms, holding a beer, I could hear them talking about stronger river currents from here.

"Hey, Dad."

"Bells! You look beautiful, as always. Happy Halloween!"

"Um, thanks. How's your night been?"

"Not too bad," he set his beer can down.

From the sound it made against the counter, Charlie had only downed about half.

"That's my first all night," he stared at it. "Been a while, but one's enough for me."

"'Atta boy, Charlie," one of his friends said. "Save your money so that your lil' girl can go to college."

Not all of them were sober.

I was uncomfortable with the topic of his paying for my schooling. We hadn't officially talked about it yet. I didn't want to have that discussion until I was sure which direction I'd be going.

"So... I was wondering. Would you mind if I stopped in at Jacob's party on the Res? He called to invite me earlier, but Edward and I have a lull in our plans, which is perfect because... now we can get more candy."

"Watch it with all the sugar. You can't buy your girl stuff if you spend all your money on the dentist."

"Duly noted, Dad. Do you mind if I go?"

"Naw, go ahead. Tell Billy I'll catch up with him tomorrow. Ice-fishing, we've got a weekend to plan."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks. Drive safe, alright? I'll see you at home later."

"Hey," he stopped me. "Hang on."

"I have the pepper spray."

"No, I was going to ask if Edward's going with you."

"Yeah, but Alice and Jasper are probably coming, too. A bunch of people here are going to stop in at some point."

"You be careful out there. Not all the parties are going to be tame as Jake's."

"I will be."

He hugged me, the least awkward since I'd gotten here.

"Love you," I said. "See you later!"

"No later than two in the morning, Bells. I mean it."

Two? No problem!

"I know curfew." I waved and made my way back through the crowd. Edward glanced over at me, he was with Carlisle and Esme near the front doors.

I knew that he was tense despite his nonchalant facade. Seeing me smile, he had to have realized that Charlie gave his consent. All we needed was a second confirmation...

What if they said no?

Oh, fuck. I kept my smile in place and kept walking. Where should I-

"Alice!" I saw her near the cookies.

"What's up?" She gracefully ducked around people and met me on my side of the table.

"Party on the Res. You guys game?"

"Jasper and I will drive partway with you. On Edward's bike," she giggled. "We're going to head to the stables. Thanks for giving us an out."

"Look at you, sneaking out. You have fun plans with Jasper?"

"It's not _sneaking_," Alice insisted. "I'm going to say we'll be at Jasper's barn. I just won't make it sound so... sexy. I'll come up with something."

I laughed, thought for a moment. "Tell them that Jasper's country ways are creeping in. He needs time away from all of these people, to relax with the calming presence of animals. And you, of course."

"Cool, I'll do that," she grinned. "Thanks!"

"And that you're worried about him because he's consumed more sugar than any one person should, thanks to your influence."

"He has," she flushed. "I forget that normal people don't subsist on sugar alone. That does sound like me, and it's true. Very believable."

"Awesome," I hugged her. "Glad I could help."

"Don't forget to grab your bag," she reminded me.

"Right. Thanks. I'll shut your door before I go, no worries."

Alice grabbed another sugar cookie and waved me away. She had great hiding places, and because she was so fashion-oriented, my more risque stuff was lost amidst her accessories.

I passed Edward again as I went into Alice's room. Carlisle and Esme had watched me and Alice talk together. They had seen me speak with Charlie, too.

Nodding at one another, Carlisle spoke and regained Edward's attention.

Excitement churned in my stomach, anticipation ran along my skin.

Had they said yes? They wouldn't have nodded at one another so parentally if they were going to say no. I had seen that look before, Charlie and Renee had always given their permission shortly thereafter. We weren't kids anymore, but the looks were still the same.

Dad hadn't ever needed to say anything. He gave me one of his 'Bella, you're in trouble and we're _going_ to talk about this' face and... I'd sit. Delaying never did any good.

Delaying. That was a good idea. I needed something to take my mind off the fact that Edward and I had _hours_ to spend alone together.

I didn't have much to bring with me this time. Most of what I needed was strapped to my body somewhere. All of them were very small things, but put together? We had a very fun evening ahead of us.

When I got home, I wanted to walk through the door and look like a civilian. Jeans, an over-sized t-shirt; Charlie would probably be waiting up.

Bobbing for apples would explain my outfit, and there was nothing sexy about ratty denim and a down jacket.

I grabbed the bag and locked her door. Edward was waiting on the other side.

"Ready?"

"Yup."

We walked, calmly, coolly, even romantically to his car. Once we were inside, Edward fumbled with his keys and the ignition. He pulled out of the driveway carefully, Charlie was watching us from the porch.

I flipped through one or two songs on my Ipod.

Nothing was going to help.

We were alone again. Dad was back at the party, along with most of Forks' officials. There was nothing preventing us from pulling over to the roadside...

He had sprayed Axe recently, the smell enveloped me, made me groan.

"What'd you think?" Edward opened one of the windows and lit a cigarette. He had to flick the lighter twice before the tobacco caught fire.

"You're incredibly talented."

Talking helped.

"Learning to play the guitar was one of the most beneficial things... I have so much more dexterity in my hands. After mastering piano, especially. The ways I've taught my fingers to move..."

He paused, pressed down harder on the gas pedal.

Talking without adding double meanings helped. It hadn't been intentional, his reaction hadn't been smug or teasing.

What was he thinking about?

The way he gripped the steering wheel with one hand, I had an idea. I crossed my left leg over my right as a man would and kept my back straight against the seat to determine space.

I scootched around a little bit and finally managed to angle my body so that I could bend my knee. The heel of my boot rested against my inner thigh, my knee rested near Edward's arm.

He moved his cigarette to the hand he drove with. The other he put on my knee. Electricity ran from his fingertips which rested under my knee.

The tingling sensation ran up my thigh, settled between my legs strongly enough that I groaned aloud. With the seat belt holding me in place, I couldn't do much more than rest my head back on the headrest.

Edward's fingers moved in wide circles all up my thigh. He still couldn't see what I was wearing. The skirt covered his arm from view.

He was paying attention to the road. His hand moved tentatively, Edward kept leaning more to the right so that he could travel higher up my leg.

I tilted my pelvis down and wedged myself against the door so that my back was cushioned by the door's side console. It was comfortable enough. Anyone driving past would see me sitting awkwardly, nearly scrunched against the door corner. They wouldn't see that his hand was under my skirt.

Edward fingered the garter belt high up on my leg. He rubbed the lace between his fingers. The sensation caused a slight itching against my sensitive skin.

He followed the lace covered elastic all the way around. I was squirming and on the verge of laughter by the time he stopped.

"Edward, fuck!" I strained to move lower in the seat.

Was he not able to reach any higher than that?

"What, Bella?" His voice was lower than usual. "Need something?"

The things we had done in this car. On the car.

Right there, with that door open, Edward had supported my entire body while standing. My elbows on the car's roof, hooking my legs over his waist, he had moved me up and down, thrusting into me so fucking hard...

The way he towered over me, grabbing my hips, raising my body to meet his...

"Touch me," I pleaded. "Stop teasing."

"Three minutes." He stopped the car, My heart nearly lurched out of my chest. "We're here."

Oh.

We hadn't pulled over?

Oh! We were here! With a room not more than a few feet away?

I pulled out my phone and called Jake.

"Hey," he said after a few rings. "You outside?"

"Yeah, just pulled up. We're on our way to the front door."

The cold wind helped me pull myself together. Nothing like standing in the frigid Washington wind, near winter, wearing a cotton Halloween outfit to bring lust back under control.

"Cool. The way you sounded-" the door opened and Jake hung up, "I knew you'd be here soon."

I didn't know what Jake was, what costume he had gone for. He wasn't wearing much of anything. Cut-off shorts, a ragged shirt. He had streaked costume makeup across part of his chest and arms.

Long furrows, they looked like. Claw marks.

"I give up. What's your... theme?"

"Survived a werewolf attack," he grinned. "Pretty awesome, huh? The change is forthcoming."

"I'm sure the girl you're with will appreciate that. Nothing like a little bestiality on Halloween to really celebrate the holiday," I smiled at him. "You do look pretty cool."

Edward and Jacob laughed.

"Thanks, Bella. And, um... not to rush anyone, but I kind of thought you'd be here a little sooner."

"Oh. Sorry, no." I explained, "We had to make our excuses and leave the party."

"It's cool. Don't worry about it. After showing you the room, I've gotta bounce. I won't have time to smoke up with you."

"Another time?" I said.

"Definitely." He he faced Edward. "Hey, man. How's it going?"

"Jake."

The two shook hands. We followed him into the clubhouse. Invitation number two. If someone stood between me and Edward reaching that room, I'd rip them apart myself.

I moved closer to Edward and let him lead. There were a _lot_ of people here.

Charlie considered this tame?

"You guys do this every year?"

"Yeah, just about," Jake answered. "We have a thing before the parties start, though. All of us eat dinner, tell stories. Everyone's welcome to that."

"Fun times," I said. I could remember being present for that one year. Before Renee and Charlie had thought about divorce, we had come to that part of their evening.

"Yeah, it's fun. When the sun goes down, a lot of people leave. That's when the Res starts party time. Like you guys, all of us open our doors. Adults drink, we have about four places where we can hang, do their thing."

"Like this one," Edward spoke for the first time in awhile.

"Yeah, and there are only twelve private rooms... it's chaos. You guys get one of the better ones, I made sure to call it early."

With silk sheets.

Fuck yes!

We walked up a flight of stairs, avoiding people and cups with sloshing alcohol.

A couple nearly backed into me, but Edward turned his body sideways so that I could sidle past them. Acting like a shield, he waited until I was in the clear before moving back in front of me.

"Here ya go."

Jake turned an ivory colored door handle. The room was cozy. A four poster bed, a desk with a chair. There was a television near the bed's base.

On it's stand, Jake had placed a small bag of weed, two different pipes, and a sleeve of rolling paper.

"You went all out," I smiled. "Thanks, Jake."

"No problem. Glad I could help a friend."

"I'll repay the favor," I promised.

"No doubt."

"Thanks, man." Edward shook his hand again.

"Oh... not to sound like a woman, but... these are guest rooms. Don't burn anything, y'know? Try not to throw anyone through another table. My Dad hates that shit."

"I'll try," Edward crooked-smiled at me. "Those were extreme circumstances."

"Oh! Tell Billy that Charlie wants to go ice-fishing with him on the weekend. It'll save me from having to track him down."

"No problem, I'm on my way to find him now. I'll pass the message on."

Edward chuckled once. I glanced over at him, but he shook his head.

It had been considerate of Jake to supply pipes and paper. It hadn't occurred to me that we should bring one. I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't have risked being pulled over, especially on Halloween.

At two in the morning, any cops on the road would be paranoid. Coming off the Reservation was suspicious enough, any reason to push Forks' drug-free motto.

Yeah...

Five buyers by tomorrow, what?

Jake closed the door behind him, rushing as he left.

So worth it, we had a good number of hours to...

Edward spun me around. I had time to let out a cry of surprise before his mouth covered mine. He cupped my face with his hands, I ran my fingers through his hair.

His tongue slid against mine. I felt his piercings pressing on my bottom lip. Sucking on one, I swirled my tongue around the smooth metal ball.

Edward backed me up until the back of my thighs hit the desk. He helped me sit on it's edge, my legs around his waist again.

"Now. Now we're safe. Touch me, Edward," I groaned. "Please."

He took the skirt of my dress and fisted it in his hands.

"Off," he growled.

I reached behind me and undid the zipper. The arm pieces fell over my shoulders. With fabric pooling at my waist, Edward inhaled sharply when he saw my black bustier.

He slid his fingers down the silver chain of my candy corn shaped pendant.

Raising my hips, I let the dress fall to the floor.

Sitting before him in a matching lingerie set, complete with a very short skirt, I looked from the top of my boots to the zipper of his fly.

"You look so fucking..." his eyes flashed.

The way his fingers clenched involuntarily, feeling him pull me closer, I writhed.

"You were right." I remembered his words from earlier. He hadn't really touched me yet.

When he did-

"God, Edward! Now, please-" I continued to mutter random words that I hoped formed comprehensible sentences.

His hand moved over my stomach, I arched my back and shamelessly rubbed my chest on his.

"Bella," he kissed me again. His pants were smooth, his chest was bare and I could freely explore every inch of him. "The desk is going to tip over."

His voice helped my ravaged nerves. What he said registered. I was nearly falling off the top. Each time he had moved back a little to get space between us, I had inched closer to him.

He was supporting nearly all of my weight again, but he didn't look upset about it.

Without breaking contact, he lifted me slightly so that I could slide further back. His hand disappeared under my skirt. I rested my cheek against his neck and tried to control my breathing. I let my head rest against the wall and spread my legs wider on the desktop.

There was no fear about it toppling over anymore. I wasn't riding the edge of it, slamming the far end against said wall trying to get onto Edward.

He didn't stop at the garter belt this time, I whimpered and rocked my hips. When he touched my clit, I knew relief was in sight.

Edward started a steady rhythm. Slow, but not for long, I felt the pressure in my lower body grow heavier.

Moving firmly over and around me, sliding over the lace without a problem. I felt his nails rake lightly over the tip of my clit.

He made me jump the second time he did it. White light formed behind my eyes. I thrashed my head against the wall, the desk warm beneath me. Edward moved a step closer, his hips against the desk's edge. My legs nearly touched his, but he angled himself so that his hand moved more firmly over me.

I gripped his wrist again, gasping aloud.

"Tell me what you need," he said hoarsely. "What's going to get you off, baby?"

"You," I panted. "Close, fuck... help me, please, please-"

I put my other hand on his arm, felt his muscles moving as he worked his fingers faster.

My voice broke. I closed my eyes and screamed his name, but the scream escaped muffled on his shoulder. Edward stopped and let me rock my hips against his hand.

I wasn't ready to come down yet, but if he had kept going, I would be writhing to get away from him. On another night, in a different mindset, Edward might have taken advantage of that in order to make me scream again.

The instantaneous surge of relief was giving way to desire again. It crawled through my veins, made my nipples throb and itch for his touch.

Remembering the way I had felt before I came, and it's persistent return after the fact... Edward must be in agony. He stayed still when I undid his belt.

He exhaled, a low sound of pleasure as I reached between us and pulled him out of his pants.

"Come over here," I asked him.

It took a little repositioning, but I finally managed to lay back on the desk. I had to keep my knees up, but my head hung partially over it's side. This was a common thing in porn, I watched enough to notice general themes before I moved on to erotica.

Edward, with his epic collection, might enjoy this more because of it. I hoped so, anyway. And, if Edward recovered quickly, which I knew he would... maybe he would crawl on top of the desk, or take me from behind at the other end...

I moaned when the head of his cock touched my lips. I wet them and looked up at him, allowed him to slide into my mouth. He was so hard; my tongue slithered over his shaft, I felt him pulsing and warm, pushing at the back of my throat.

Breathing in through my mouth, I expanded the muscles high in my neck. He slid down a few inches and threw his head back.

"Oh my fucking god," he said through gritted teeth, trying to regain control. "If you want to fuck me within the next minute, you should stop."

I let him slide out of my throat. Shaking my head from side to side, I let my tongue slide around the underside of his cock.

He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. This time was worse than any other. Edward started with one on his waist. After realizing that the desk was too low for him to grasp, he wound one in my hair.

Not knowing if I wanted to stop or not, he had released his hold at the nape of my neck.

I hollowed my cheeks, tightened my mouth against him as much as I could. Moving up and down, I held out until I felt the insistent need to breathe.

"Bella-" he held his breath. Feeling him twitch bought me a few more seconds of air.

I moaned and made sure he felt the vibration. He understood. I wasn't going to be stopping.

My head was going fuzzy. Edward wasn't moving against me anymore. I had gained leverage on the table, but reaching all of him was becoming a problem.

I reached up and grabbed his hips. He was shaking, eyes dark and primal, he swore when I took him all the way down. I fought the urge to gag, it was more difficult because Edward had gone past the point of control.

He thrust gently, I spread my fingers over his hipbones so that I could feel his stomach muscles clench and release. Grabbing hold of my resolve, I moved faster, harder.

The angle made it easier, but I had to be careful not to close my teeth around him. Something about being held upside down made me want to clench my jaw. My eyes closed involuntarily each time I reached the end of his shaft.

I felt the tension in his body rise. Looking up at him again, I was breathing heavily wanting to see him shatter.

He thrust faster, not as forcefully. I stretched my lungs to full capacity. Holding my breath again, I made a swallowing motion. It was the strangest feeling having something obstructing the process.

Edward groaned one last time, low and vicious, as he came. I worked my throat over him, moving upward slowly. He shuddered, cursed, finally laughed. His body relaxed slowly, the way he did when he was in pain. I could relate.

Orgasming so hard it hurt, I had been there not too long ago.

Pain, can't get enough.

I could barely taste him. It made me want to start over again, see if I could bring him to the same heights of pleasure a second time.

Maybe in a different position.

"Happy fucking Halloween," he twitched again once or twice as I sucked lightly at the head.

"To you too, babe," I grinned.

"Want to join me in the shower? Round two there, round three in bed?"

"If I didn't have plans, I'd be in there with you already. But... shower quick, I'll set up."

"Be right out," he smiled. Turning back toward me as he opened the small bathroom's door, his smile deepened.

Love.

"So fucking hot," he said.

I curtseyed and stood behind the chair. It made me happy to hear him laughing as he started the water.

Next karaoke night, we'd have a different song.

He had guaranteed up to a Round Three. There were still hours left before we needed to be home. I was nearly giddy with excitement. The shower-head came to life, I heard Edward step in.

Time to get the Playlist started, put the speakers together.

... that didn't take long at all.

I tucked a few things into the top of my boots.

It didn't look too bad. A little strange, maybe, but I needed them to be easily accessible...

"Hey, Edward?" I peeked my head into the bathroom just because I loved seeing him wet and scruffy.

"What?" He had been towel drying his hair. Looking at me from underneath folds of white, he quirked his eyebrow at me. "Change your mind?"

"Love you," I grinned. "Hurry up!"

"Love you, too." Edward crooked-smiled and went over to the sink. I rolled my eyes as he finger combed his hair.

"Oh my god, you're such a girl sometimes!"

"I'm what?" He snorted, glanced at me in the mirror. "Say that again."

"Nope." I let the bathroom door close and laughed.

"You'll take it back," he said, very close to the door. I saw the knob turn, felt the door creak open.

Before he could reach for me, I held up two types of handcuffs. He looked from them, back to me, and all thoughts of revenge faded in his head.

"Really? Fucking finally?"

"Yup," I nodded. "Pick."

**Authors End Note: **Time to update! At 6:11am, I'm finally satisfied that I've typed all Bella wanted to say. =). Now, after posting, I go to sleep... and wake up in three hours for work. I really don't care, haha. That's what Starbucks is for! I love writing nights with a computer! They make writing in notebooks for the week worth it. Hope you enjoy, all. Thanks for reading!

**Authors End Note: **Thanks for all of the reviews, everyone! Thank you to **Jansails** and **Karen4honor**, especially! I've fixed some of the positioning problems, I think. Added more detail. I also wrote more for Bella while Edward plays his song. Some of the meaning was lost without it, and I apologize for that. I tried to make it seem less... jumpy. No more sleep-deprived writing. Lol.


	40. I'm A Pirate, You're A Princess

**Chapter 40**

**Authors Note: **The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2: **I have a netbook! I saved money and everything, haha. It's so… relieving! I can look up information, pictures, watch shows while I Type! Hahaha, yesss! Now I can write the stories up when I really have time, instead of cramming an entire chapter into Monday night. Hence why I could only update once a week. =./, I travel a lot for work, and I'm usually only home one or two nights a week. Ah wel, all is happy in my world now.

**Authors Note 3: **Added pictures for those of you who wanted them!  
**Bella's Boots-  
**http:/www(dot)nightshadecorsets(dot)com/shoes_boots/boots/electra_3028(dot)htm**  
Bella's Lingerie-  
**http:/www(dot)nightshadecorsets(dot)com/lingerie/panties/9201_crotchless_panties(dot)htm  
**Bed on the Reservation-  
**This took so long to find… and it's still not perfect. I wanted one with a wooden frame that goes all the way around… so, if you were really agile, you could walk the perimeter…  
http:/www(dot)bunkhouselodge(dot)

**This chapter is all lemon. Please be warned, if you don't like sexual content in your stories, skip this Entire chapter.**

**Playlist  
(haven't uploaded the songs yet because te Netbook can't handle grooveshark... something about it won't let the page load properly. I'll add the songs soon and I hope you'll go back and listen because they're all incredible!)  
****Not Myself Tonight- **Christina Aguilera  
**Woohoo- **Feat. Nicki  
**Hand Grenade- **Thousand Foot Krutch  
**I Want You Now- **Depeche Mode  
**Memorare- **The CruxShadows  
**Running Up That Hill- **Placebo  
**I'm a Pirate, You're a Princess- **PlayRadioPlay!

**Edward's Point of View**

Just remembering Bella's frantic pulling at my arm, grinding herself against my hand... the memory would be enough to get me hard for years. Jesus fucking Christ, she was incredible. The table had slammed against the wall a good number of times, but Bella didn't notice until after I made her move.

She was really good at letting me know what felt good to her. The difference between fucking and... what we did, it had to be that she trusted me to get her off. So many women gave instructions, moaned commands.

Bella hadn't. Not once.

She did a whole bunch of other things that could make me react in the way she wanted, but never had she used a 'do this now' tone.

Moaning, pleading, whimpering, yes. Fuck, I loved every sound she made. Especially when her scream of release escaped as a snarl or broken sigh. She didn't hold anything back, not when we were alone.

I knew she was waiting on the other side of the door.

She wasn't, however, holding the door shut. The knob turned easily. Bella liked to taunt me. Probably in the hopes that I'd wrestle her down, ...

… and handcuff her?

Her lips moved, she said something, but all I could see were the two pairs of handcuffs in her hands. She wore my leather cuff over her right wrist. I had seen her put it on myself. It wasn't until now that I appreciated what it meant.

"Edward?" She raised them higher. The lighting made the silver shine.

"The plain ones," I said.

"I'll ask you again in a minute," she grinned. "When you're in a better frame of mind."

"I'm great." Moving over to her, I backed us the few steps to the bed. The cuffs could wait a minute, I wanted to do other things with her before she wouldn't be able to move. "How are you doing?"

"Wonderfully-" Her mango lipgloss tasted so fucking good. Bella, the real taste of Bella, that was even better. She melted into the kiss, leaning onto me, her mouth open and tongue warm. I felt my cock graze the front of my towel. She laughed huskily before pulling away.

"Remember," she asked, "how you told me, back in the beginning, that you were game to try anything once?"

"Yes…" I leaned back slightly but made sure to keep her lower body pressed to mine. It felt too good. We had to hide things like this all of the time. Any excuse to touch her in a non-PG way, I'd definitely take it.

"And you know that I really like handcuffs, right?"

"I'd fucking love to tie you up," I grinned.

Maybe she had been confused because it took me so long to decide? Or perhaps because I hadn't confirmed anything aloud.

"Other way around," Bella stepped fully into the light.

I forgot what she had said. Her nails were painted black to match the rest of her outfit. She must have done that recently, there weren't any chips in the polish. Her skin was so fucking pale compared to the perfectly black leather. She ran her right hand across her body, down to the waist of her mini skirt.

"I-"

I went from dry-mouthed to swallowing reflexively as I, literally, salivated at the thought of tasting her.

"See, I have a whole evening planned. Everything I thought of is for you. Well, me a little, but mostly you," she grinned. "And it's not as though I'm a dominatrix or anything, I didn't bring any props."

"Uh-huh…"

I didn't understand how those statements tied together.

Then again, not much was making sense. I had given up on trying to listen and take in all of Bella at the same time.

She moved to the side and twirled in a slow circle for me. The skirt was slit to the hem on one side. With the boots, her hair, the way she was smiling... her fucking panties, jesus fuck. She put her hand on one of the bed posts, reaching up high as though it were a pole.

"Come over here and let me thank you properly," I suggested.

"Edward, are you listening to me?"

"Of course," the little white lie slipped out before I could stop it.

She wanted my full attention? It was hers. In that outfit, however, there was only one subject we could talk about. Any other knowledge I had stored away was on temporary leave.

"So you have no problem if I continue having fun? You're going to go with it?"

"Absolutely," I didn't hesitate to say.

"Great," she beamed. "Stand up, please?"

Against the wall? On the floor? Did she want to bend over the bed? So many fucking options. The shower? On the cold tile or heated glass doors? I could always prop her up in front of my bookshelves and…

"You sure you're okay with this?"

"Bella-" I muted a strangled groan. "Fuck yes."

"Okay."

Truthfully, I couldn't remember more than the first three words of anything she said. I could have agreed to all of this; who the fuck knew?

I was about to find out.

She took the pair of silver handcuffs off the bed. Moving behind me, she kissed my shoulder. Bella ran her hand down my arm, eased my wrist so that it was...

"Whoa, hold on a minute. What's happening here?"

"I knew you weren't listening," she laughed.

"No," I denied, "I was... I may have phased out for one or two sentences. The most important ones, apparently. You want to cuff _me_ to the bed?"

"To start with," Bella grinned. "That's the idea, yes."

"_Me?" _

She laughed again. "I've never tried this before."

"I haven't, either. I've never... it's not something-"

"Right. So, it's another first experience. We have so few," she smiled charmingly. "And, if you really don't like it, and gain nothing from it, I'll stop and switch places with you."

That's all I needed.

"Done," I nodded.

"Honestly?" Her eyes widened slightly, her smile became even more real.

"Quick, before I change my mind..."

"Thanks for trusting me so much."

Moving behind me again, Bella wrapped her arms around my waist. She linked her hands in front of me and rested her cheek on my back.

"Another first," I said.

"What is? This?"

Her voice was slightly muffled, but I didn't want her to move. This was strange, I didn't normally allow people behind me for so long. Bella nestled in closer and I gave up trying to understand things.

"Yes, what you're doing."

"Mmm," she purred onto my shoulder blades. "I've never had an urge to do it before. It's... comfortable."

"I do trust you," I said, thinking back to her earlier statement.

That wasn't even a question.

Control was something I enjoyed having, not because I was afraid to give it up, but... it came pretty naturally. I was an aggressive person to begin with. Letting a female restrain me to a piece of furniture for fun, the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind.

The fact that I knew Bella wouldn't mind if I asked for a role-reversal helped a lot.

"Where do you want me?" The way her eyes darkened at my question made anything that happened worth it.

She glanced quickly around the room. "Stand at the end of the bed?"

Before going to the footboard, I slid a few condoms under the pillows. Whether or not we used them, It beat having to interrupt things to find them. Bella smiled as I did as she asked, the towel still around my waist.

"Just one hand to start with. Are you sure you're okay with these handcuffs?"

"What are the other ones like?"

"They have a safety latch, they're lighter…"

"Props," I guessed.

"Yup," I heard her smile.

"Tell me they're fuzzy."

"… they're not anymore. Don't judge them, I took the fur off. It's not their fault. Besides, I wanted you to have a choice."

"Safety cuffs," I snorted.

"Or real ones," she nodded. "The decision is entirely in your hands. Or above them, because… you get it."

I shook my head as she laughed. Even dressed as she was, Bella Swan could be really _cute_ sometimes. When she laughed like that, completely unselfconsciously, it did something to me. Good things, of course, but it was another strange emotion I couldn't explain.

"The real ones."

Bella chose my left wrist. She put one end of the handcuff around the bed-post, right in the grove so I wouldn't be able to move my arm at all. The other part of the cuff she closed loosely underneath my wristbones.

She held the key up and released the lock on the bed to show that they worked .

"I tried both keys earlier to be sure. Just now wasn't the first I checked, promise."

"I figured. You're thorough that way."

The things guys did for their girlfriends. This had to be at the top of the chart. Anyone else who suggested we do this... there was a small chance they'd be permanently disfigured in the process. How Bella had managed to turn my opinion, _and_ make it seem fun, sexy, and intriguing... well, that was talent.

"Good." Bella picked up the remote for her Ipod. Music began playing. She immediately started moving to the song's beat.

"So fucking sexy."

That's all I could think to say. She was. Completely and entirely, no matter what she wore or chose to do.

"I love everything on this Playlist!"

I knew what that meant. These were more of her favorites, same as some of the School Dance songs had been, And I let myself be tied up.

The bed's mattress wasn't larger than a Queen size, but Bella had plenty of room. She put her hand near my wrist. Both of her arms bent as she pulled herself into a sitting position on the footboard.

She was so graceful. For all of her talk about being clumsy, I had yet to see Bella truly fall. Even if she lost her balance now, she'd have plenty of time to grab a bed-post. I had an arm free. Theoretically, somehow, I'd catch her before she hit the floor.

There was a ledge all around the bed's frame. It connected the headboard and footboard, like a bunk bed, but without the top bed attached.

By keeping one leg on either side of the footboard, she sat easily as though perching on a fence. She was able to hook her left heel around the wooden beam that created the ledge.

I knew what she was doing now.

She was positioning herself perfectly to fuck me standing. I didn't know if she would, but the potential was there. Bella swung her other leg over the bedpost so that she could vertically straddle my chest if she wanted to.

Move lower, baby.

Gripping the post with one hand, she put the other on my shoulder. I instantly supported her as best I could. Bella grinned, but she didn't allow much of her weight to rest against my arm around her waist.

She supported herself by holding the post. Moving to the song all the while, Bella shimmied down my body until the towel fell.

Glancing downward, Bella flushed in excitement.

The song changed, her eyes lit up with dark, mischievous pleasure.

Taking the dance a step further, she unhooked her heel from the ledge. Resting it flat on the mattress, she unhooked her other leg from the post. She kept one foot on either side of me with her legs close to my hips.

"You ready?"

She raised herself by moving her hands higher up on the bedpost. Hooking one of her legs over my shoulder, she inched down until part of her skirt fell over my shoulder.

I could smell her, so sweet, right in front of me. Applying pressure to her back, I tried to bring her closer. She dug her heel into the bed and refused to move. I couldn't use any more force than that, and Bella didn't seem inclined to help me.

Quirking her eyebrow, she grinned wickedly.

I turned my head and bit gently in the flesh of her inner thigh. Not hard enough to bruise or shock her, I just wanted to taste her somehow. I had done my best to be passive.

Rolling my eyes back so I could meet hers, I let my jaw close just a little bit more. I pulled at her with my teeth and she finally hitched her knee fully behind my shoulder. Inhaling, I growled against her, low in my throat.

She moaned and laughed at the same time. Bella moved before I could stop her. I still helped hold her steady, but with her moving around again, I wouldn't risk reasserting my dominance.

Having reached the floor, Bella stood with her back to me. She turned her face toward me so that her lips rested near my pulse. Still dancing to the song, I felt the lace of her panties slide against my cock.

Then, as she bent over in front of me, down, down, down until she touched her toes..

"Oh my fucking god," I groaned.

Bella looked over her shoulder at me and rose slowly, hands moving up her legs. She ground herself on me in small circles, preventing me from thrusting into her. I grabbed the hem of her skirt, but she was faster than me. Again.

All that held the skirt together were three strips of Velcro in the back. She twirled a few steps away from me and left the wispy fabric in my hands.

"Part two is forthcoming" she smiled.

"Does that involve giving me the use of my hand back?"

"Momentarily, yes."

I lost my train of thought as Bella turned her back to me. She reached behind her; starting at the very top, her fingers worked at the small eyelets of her corset. There were about thirty in all. One by one, she released them, more of her skin was exposed until all but ten remained closed.

Holding the corset against her chest, Bella pulled out the key to my handcuff.

"Promise you'll keep letting me play?"

"Promise I'll be inside of you soon?"

"Of course," she nodded.

My wrist was free. I cracked the bone once out of habit, not because she had restrained me too tightly. She glanced at me before turning around. My expression seemed to reassure her of something because the worry creases between her eyes faded.

"You're so fucking _hot_." I put my arms around her from behind and sucked a hickey onto her neck. She could feel how much I wanted her. Lust faded marginally as true appreciation took over.

She could do so many things at once, remember so many details. Planning with so many details, yet still managing to improvise along the way. Her outfits, impromptu meeting spots, her determination helped get us through a tricky situation to where the outcome was in our favor.

"I fucking love _everything_ you do."

That should take care of any further worrying on her part. I felt her relax in my arms, she put one hand on my forearm and leaned back into me.

"Good," she whispered. "Because that thing I just did on the bed? That was terrifying."

I laughed. "And you're not done yet?"

"Nope."

I released the final catches, Bella folded the corset and threw it on the ground next to her skirt. She moved quickly across the room and stood behind a chair. The same chair I had hurled away from the desk.

Bella hadn't noticed that part, either. It was probably for the better, she seemed to like seeing displays of strength. Shoving a chair into the wall to make room for me between her legs... maybe it would have gotten her off sooner?

Her sex drive matched mine. How she coped, I really couldn't handle knowing. I wanted her _all of the time_. By employing legendary control, and wearing looser clothing, I kept it from being known. Physically, at least.

Fair trade.

Speaking of, I picked up the towel and wrapped it around my hips again. Bella pouted, but she was still dressed. If she wanted me naked again, she could lose some of the clothes.

Not that there was much left to remove.

She had gone with a pirate theme. I expected her to be sporting something nautical. She walked around half-buccaneer as it was. How would she pass on All Hallow's Eve?

Her bra was black and red, skull themed. Out of all the boots she owned, I loved her thigh-highs best. They looked fuck-all amazing with her sheer panties and garter.

I couldn't remember what my tattoo-leather fantasy chick had looked like. Bella had completely taken over in my head.

She moved to the side of her chair and propped the sole of her shoe on its seat.

"This," she stood on the chair, "is where I want you to sit."

"I would never have guessed." Moving quicker than her, I picked her up as she was climbing down. I sat down hard on the chair and hoped it was sturdy enough to hold us. Bella caught herself on my shoulders, the chair rocked back onto two legs, but it didn't fall over.

I had given her no choice. She straddled my waist, her thighs hard against my side. I could feel her heartbeat pounding against my chest.

When she caught her breath, she looked up at me through her lashes.

"That was cheap."

"I saw an opportunity." I crooked-grinned at her because I knew she wasn't really upset. Putting my arms behind my back, she clicked the handcuffs into place.

"Comfortable?"

"I don't know," I moved my lower body against her. "I can't tell yet."

She rocked her hips on mine, I caught my breath at the instant surge of pleasure that ran through my body. Moving back a little, Bella straddled my thigh with her heels resting on the ground.

"I didn't realize how much I wanted to do this." Putting her hands on my shoulders, she moved her hands slowly down my arms.

"Cuff me to a chair?"

"Cuff you to anything," she grinned. "Where you're mine for as long as I want you. Able to look at you, feel you… do you realize, I've only seen you naked once? That's weird to me."

"I walk around without a shirt on a lot. You seem to like that."

"Of course I do, but it's frustrating," she moved her hips again, "not being able to touch you."

"I'm right here, babe," I sat back in the chair. "And I'm not going anywhere, even if you lose the handcuffs."

She traced my collarbone, her fingers moved across the knife marks on my upper chest, a few scars from childhood.

"When we first met, you've no idea… when I saw you standing there in that towel," she groaned low in her throat.

"When you ran out, you mean," I smirked. "One second you were there, the next my door was closing and I was alone."

"All of your ink exposed, your hair was still wet like it is now, these…" Bella played with the piercings on my chest. "I had to leave."

"You should have done what you were thinking about."

"What do you think this is?" She grinned, "I don't think you would have been open to the idea back then."

She ran a hand over my shoulder, moved higher up on my neck. I took back all thoughts of cutting my hair when she lightly scratched at my scalp. It sent chills up my spine. Shorter hair wouldn't create the same effect.

Hooking my leg around the leg of our chair, I braced against the floor and let the front two feet come off the floor. Bella's fist clenched, she grabbed my shoulder for support.

I swallowed her gasp and let her breathe for a few seconds. My tongue curled around hers, I could feel her heartbeat pounding against my chest.

Like it had happened in my bedroom, Bella was just suddenly gone. My arm twitched when I felt something… soft? Her tongue?

Yes, she put her lips on my inner wrist and licked over the pulse. Another strangely good feeling. Knowing that I was about to let her cuff me again, my arms were tingling. I really didn't have a problem with this, my body could attest to that.

Prior encounters with handcuffs, however, hadn't been nearly as fun. I wouldn't be surprised to learn she had picked them on purpose, later. Bella was slowly paving over my horrible experiences, it seemed to be one of her top priorities.

She was the only other person I'd take to the meadow. No one had accompanied me before, but remembering how she looked, spread out in the sun… flushed and trembling from the first orgasm she'd received from someone going down on her.

She had about ten more minutes.

I was sitting in an old-fashioned wooden chair. The chair's back was comprised of three posts instead of a straight sheet of wood. I had to smile when Bella wound the handcuff's chain around one of the posts. She must have watched her father work. It wouldn't be easy to get out of the chair this way.

Feeling the steel close over my wrists, I straightened my back and stopped slouching. The position added some strain to my shoulders, but judging by Bella's pause, I figured it had distracted her. There were so many things she did that left me to stare after her in stunned silence.

She would laugh when I wouldn't hear her due to all of my blood pooling below my waist. It was nice to know I could affect her in the same way.

I heard leather squeak, she must have gotten up.

When I saw her on my left… I forgot about the handcuffs. My hands were behind me and something was holding them in place. The grating sound brought me back. More wood shavings.

Bella looked up and smirked at me.

"First a table, now their chair… we're going to end up refurnishing their hangout."

I grinned back at her. "You have no idea."

She crawled… that wasn't the right way to describe what Bella was doing. More feline than anything, incredibly feminine, she moved along the floor on her hands and knees. She continued moving forward until the only part of her I could see was her sexy-as-fuck ass.

Light pressure on my lower leg, she looked up at me from beneath her lashes. I forced myself to remain still as she raised herself to the perfect height… not more than half an hour ago, she had gotten me off with her mouth.

All of the different ways she could work her tongue and lips, the way her throat felt closing around the entire length of my… fuck! I couldn't help bucking my hips, she was perfectly aligned…

Raising her eyebrow at me, she glanced down at her chest. I followed her gaze and had to grin at the dark mark I had left earlier. She trailed a hand across her breast and traced the hickey.

Her nipples hardened…

… she watched me watching her.

And she didn't flush. I fucking loved that she wasn't self-conscious around me anymore. I had never understood why she'd feel that way in the first place.

Bella rose up on her knees and put one hand on either side of me. Holding the chair back, she moved forward until I had no choice but to spread my legs for her.

I knew it would be a bad idea. Control was slowly slipping; not being able to touch her was more strange than it was frustrating. I couldn't tell if I were still high or not. That was the only way I could justify not remembering the fucking handcuffs.

Each time I felt the steel against my wrists, I'd physically recall how her tongue felt on my pulse before the cuffs had been closed.

It was the strangest fucking sensation, and it made the hair on my arms stand on end. I'd feel the start of a shiver that never ended properly. It was added to the churning in my stomach, need rising each time.

She made the edges of my towel part until it just _barely_ covered me. When I saw her tongue dart out to run across her bottom lip, I shifted on the chair to help the towel fall.

It did, Bella's eyes met mine for the briefest of seconds. I had to wrap my hands around the wooden posts when I felt the silky softness of her stomach slide over my cock.

She leaned into me, her hair fell over my thigh. Instead of moving her head down as I had expected, she took one of my nipple piercings into her mouth. Sucking my flesh into her mouth, Bella rolled her tongue against the silver bar.

I tightened my stomach muscles, sat up straighter in the chair; anything to try and distract myself from the rising pleasure. Bella switched to the other side.

My back arched when I felt her teeth scrape against the upper muscles of my chest. Softness, circles, slow and wet and smooth… jesus fucking christ!

"Bella…"

"Mmm," I heard her purr. Vibration, then… there was always a moment of nothing before pain blossomed. My breath escaped in a hiss when I felt her teeth close.

Relief, disappointment, I wasn't sure which I felt. Bella hadn't bitten down, she taunted… a line of them down the left side of my body. She stopped at my waist. Her hair, shiny and slightly tangled, brushed the floor.

Definite pain.

My eyes rolled back, I might have gasped. Hoping not, yet trying to remember how breathing worked, Bella finally let go. A mark, similar to the one I had left on her, stood out right above my hipbone. She licked her lips and smiled in absolute satisfaction.

Sliding backwards, she ran her hands along my thighs. She knelt back and moved her legs to the side. Gracefully, she lay down, her back resting on the floor.

I watched in amusement as she put her arms underneath her head.

"Comfortable?"

She smiled cheekily at my dry tone. "Can't blame me for enjoying the view."

"Are you going to sit there all night?"

"No," she stretched. "You're sitting, I'm lying down."

"Keep pushing…" I chuckled. "I'll-"

Bending one of her knees, Bella unzipped her boot. The process required some wiggling, which offered me glimpses of her skin underneath the crotchless panties.

"You'll…" she glanced at me meaningfully.

"What?"

"You were going to do something to me."

"Come here," I growled. "I'll do a lot to you. I'll even let you keep my hands tied."

"I love that tone, too," she moved her hips sinuously. "And when you go down on me when you're scruffy, like now."

"I remember your message."

When we had first started dating, she had written in steam on my mirror. The basic gist was that she liked the marks my five-o'clock shadow left on her skin.

Only Bella.

Both of her boots were off, but she wasn't teasing any longer. She knelt in front of me again, her eyes nearly back with want.

My cock twitched, it made her smile. My nerves were screaming, I was drowning. My eyes closed and I kept them shut because if I saw her take me all the way down instead of just feeling it, I'd fucking pull a Hulk and destroy this chair.

Her tongue nearly pushed me over the edge.

I focused on my mental image from before. Growing huge muscles- really not helping- and bursting out of the handcuffs- … god, throwing her onto the bed…

"Bella, stop."

"Not yet." She had replied with me still partially in her mouth.

Fuck me sideways.

My back arched again, she reached behind me and put her hand on my wrists. Having to lean so far forward nearly made her gag. I felt the muscles in her throat contract as she fought to keep from choking.

I was paralyzed. Seconds snapped and broke as they ticked by. I used every facet of self-control not to move. My entire body felt frozen as I waited for her to come back up.

"If you get me off now," I panted, "it'll be awhile until I'm…"

She didn't. Bella looked up and rolled her eyes at me. I had to look away. Her mascara was running, it was so fucking hot…

It was the moment every guy braced for. When Bella had gagged, part of me yelled in denial. It willed her to relax, to get those last few inches down… and instead of pulling away, as she regrettably had to… _she fucking_ _kept going_.

Fuck _yess…_

I felt warm puffs of breath on my skin as she took me all the way down. Her throat clenched again… I felt the tip of her tongue move at the very base of my cock. She swallowed reflexively, cleared her throat and pulled up, slid back down… Harder, faster, the pleasure rose until I was nearly blind with it.

White light spread across my vision, though I knew my eyes were still open. Release roared through me, made me shake. Everything was hazy, pleasure twisted and curled as I slid out of her throat. When the head slipped past her tonsils, I shuddered.

She licked the underside of my shaft with light flicks of her tongue. Soft, wet, she brought me down slowly without making me jump or writhe.

Fading ecstasy, relaxation.

Oxygen!

I was light headed. Air was all around me and I felt so fucking incredible… I let my eyes close and laughed.

Time slowed, I floated.

At some point, Bella had released my wrists. My hands weren't shaking anymore, but I felt that they should be.

Water stopped running in the bathroom. Bella emerged, her cheeks were still flushed from exertion.

I was up and out of the chair so fucking fast... I put my hands at the nape of her neck and curled my fingers in her hair. Pressing my forehead against hers, she smelled like cinnamon.

"Travel Listerine," she said.

I smiled and felt it all the way to my core.

"You're _always_ prepared."

She moaned when I pulled her closer. I knew what she wanted. Bella could be sexually aggressive, and it was real, she didn't pretend to make me happy. Each time she did, I had noticed that she set me up to take that much more control back.

I tipped her head to the side and she let her eyes close slowly, anticipation making her breathing grow ragged. She couldn't put her arms around my neck this way; with my hands still in her hair, she wasn't able to get closer to me, either.

Moving my mouth over hers, I slid my tongue past her lips. Without needing a physical reaction to follow, I still wanted her. It wasn't surprising anymore, though it had been in the past.

I dug my fingers into her shoulder to hold her in place. She kissed me harder, struggled in my grasp. I ran my fingers over her hickey and finally let the rest of her body touch mine.

"You helped me realize something." I needed to breathe. Enough time had passed that I didn't feel light-headed or shaky. My pulse was still pounding, I wanted to take my time now that we had some to waste.

"Was it a good something?"

I let her go, but caught her waist to pull her roughly back against me. She made a small sound of satisfaction as she put her arms around my neck. I held her close, stroked her back slowly.

"Why do you still feel the need to ask?"

"I'm optimistic," she smiled wryly.

"You are," I nipped my neck. "Knowing there was a risk I'd flip the fuck out, you still went ahead with your plan."

"After you learned the meaning behind my handcuff, I'd catch you staring at it in class… And when I put your leather cuff on tonight, I saw you… I'm not sure how to explain it."

She was calmer now. I hadn't intended for one statement to become a conversation. For all of the times we had bitten back words in favor of physical release, it was bound to have happened again sometime.

"… so, maybe, I wanted to give a new meaning to another set of my handcuffs. For you, you enjoyed yourself, right?"

"Did I _enjoy_ myself?" I shook my head. "That question, too. Seriously?"

"Well…?" She paused. "Did you?"

I leaned back to see her face. Bella tilted her head to the side and looked up at me through her eyelashes. Doe eyes, no one did that look quite like her.

"I know I've said this before, but… Bella," I smiled, "I've never come that hard. Ever. It destroyed my world and fucking put it back together again…"

She laughed, quiet and low, I felt a light shiver go through her body.

"Before we get to your promised round three…" Bella paused and looked at the dresser. "Mind if we smoke up?"

"Blunt, joint, or pipe?"

"You pick," she shrugged. "Either way will get us high."

Pipe it was. No rolling or folding required, I was good with taking the easy route this time.

We both moved to the bed. It was time to relax, to lie down for a moment and talk like we had in the past. Nothing too serious, I had other plans for the night. The sheets were incredibly soft, I'd have to check online and buy some for myself.

When I folded back the covers and lay down, I had to laugh at Bella's expression. She nearly went cross-eyed, exhaling slowly she continued to climb onto the bed.

"You okay?" I had to ask.

She was obviously alright, but I had no idea what she was thinking. I wanted to know what had made her flush darken, spread across her chest… Bella wanted pot. Right. I passed her the pipe.

Pressing the glass end to her lips, she sparked it and inhaled deeply. I knew the weed was of really good quality. Before I had opened the container, I could smell it. The scent overtook _everything_ from one hit.

"Oh," Bella laughed, "my god."

She passed the pipe back to me and reclined on the bed. I propped some of the pillows up behind me and turned on my side, facing her. Barely inhaling, I wasn't prepared enough for Mary Jane's vicious assault. My lungs burned, I swallowed smoke and coughed like hell.

Sitting up, I pounded my chest and breathed slowly through my nose. My entire face burned. I was flushing from more than the pot. That had been really embarrassing, like a newbie with their first hit.

"Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah," I stared at her, daring her to say something snarky. "I'm good."

She passed back to me. I was ready this time. My mind clouded over, I closed my eyes and let myself float for a minute.

Bella's fingers trailed over my chest, down over my abs. Her eyes flicked from scar to scar, over my ink, she played with the bar of my nipple piercing. I didn't want her to stop so I handed her the pipe without the lighter. She looked confused, but raised it to her mouth. I lit it for her and she grinned while inhaling.

"Thanks." She nodded her head and I leaned in. Smoke, I took a deep breath… the residual smoke was better than actual pot I had smoked in the past.

"You didn't slip Jake money on the side, did you?" I passed when Bella offered me another hit. If I continued to get high, I'd be clumsy.

"No…"

"All of this was a favor? Pot included?"

"Yeah," Bella handed me a cigarette. "You were there when I made the call, remember?"

"Wow," I chuckled. "Is everyone from Washington so… thorough?"

There were unlit candles in the room, not to mention three ways of getting high from incredibly expensive pot. The bed sheets and cover were Halloween themed…

"Jake was raised to be a good boy," she smiled. "What happened at school really bothers him… but judging from the weed, and the fact that he had plans for this room, I'd say our debt's settled."

"Are you really going to get customers for him?"

"Why not? It seemed easier than the alternative…"

"Which was what," I prompted.

"Hm, Jake, thanks for changing all of your plans for tonight with no prior notice from me." She had mimed holding a phone. Pausing for a moment, she looked baffled. "Pot? Yes, I would love some. My uber rich boyfriend usually walks around with two hundred dollars in his wallet. He knows famous people, too. Extort him, please, so that we can get high and have the room to ourselves."

I had started laughing halfway through.

Her point was valid. Jake was a pushy bastard when it came to money. He had something I wanted, and had been prepared to pay for. As Bella dialed his number, I knew Jacob would want compensation. So long as he didn't try for more than a grand, everything included, I wouldn't have thought twice about forking over the cash.

Whereas Bella saw it as wasteful spending, I considered it reward for all of the years I had saved. Alice and I could have lived the upper class life. Instead, while I didn't count pennies, we stayed in low-key hotels… with good room-service.

Each year had brought new goals.

Escape from the group home. Escape with Alice from the group home. Get Alice adopted so that she'll be better off, which quickly turned to- get out of the state and save Alice from pedophiles. Then it was, stay off the radar until my eighteenth birthday. That goal went to hell, too, but everything worked out in the end.

Everything I had chosen to do was in favor of attaining a lot of money all at once. Instead of spending it, I put half of the payout away. When I needed to get to Florida, thanks to saving, I got there in a day. We were able to get back across the country and hide for a few months before I had to find new sources of income.

Even then, because of past experiences, I knew the right amount to charge for the types of things I was willing to do. I didn't need the protection of a gang to keep myself safe because I didn't leave trails. The inheritance was my starting point, I knew that it would be gone before long.

Except, "I don't know any famous people."

"Honestly," she rolled her eyes. "I was curious about a few of your charities. When I looked them up, they all had separate pages for sponsors and people who donated large sums of money. They showed various events held over the years, some people who attended…"

"Carlisle and Esme went to those. I only went out with them once."

"What was different about that night? The once and only time?"

Of all the questions she could have asked- nice, normal ones, like… 'How was the food?' or 'Who else was in attendance?'

"No camera crews… no photography…"

That much was true, I wasn't going to lie. If I could evade-

"And," she raised her eyebrow.

"Um… truthfully?"

"Yep."

"Victoria's Secret models donate sometimes. One was going to be there, she was only two years older than me… why not go for it, right? She travels a lot, I'd never see her again… it would have been a great one-night stand. For us both," I had to elaborate.

Bella giggled. "You're such a humanitarian. What charity was it?"

"Fuck if I know." That only mattered to me on the first level. Alice cared, I cared about the people Alice helped. "I can tell you who I made an impression on, and out of them how many I have on speed-dial-"

"See?" She pointed her cigarette at me. "You know famous people."

"Useful," I said. "They are, or will one day be, very useful."

"Because they're the best in their field? Or the best that you had access to," she corrected.

"Well, yeah… you don't pay a chophouse, because that's all you can afford, when you can go to a premiere surgeon for free."

"Free," Bella snorted. "I understand your point, though."

"So… you're not pissed about the whole 'going there for a model' part?"

"No," she glanced up at me. "Why would I be?"

"You were pissed about Stanley."

"I was not. It irritated me, that's all. You're… and _she's_," Bella adapted a disgusted expression. "The model I can understand. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, a professional lingerie model? I'd have gone for Mr. July in Rosalie's 'Year of Studs' calendar."

"Thanks for the overshare." I dug my fingers into her ribs until she squirmed.

"Hey!" Bella slid away from me and held her hands out in surrender. "To be fair, I said I _would have _gone. _You_ actually went."

Was there any way to argue that?

"… alright, fine." I settled back against the pillows. "Point for you."

"Thanks," she grinned. "Among all of those useful people you have on speed-dial, is the model one of them?"

"No. The company had the major stock-holders show instead. The leading shareholder was a nice guy, ostentatious. Christian-something. French. Very French and flamboyant. His last name started with 'La,' but that's all I can remember."

"… from fashion?"

I laughed. The three F's that made the industry, from what I understood.

Bella and I were both stoned out of our minds. It was the only explanation I had for her being so fucking _cool_ with everything. Any other woman, it'd be three weeks before I saw them again. Bella cuffed me to a chair and drove me to the edge of sanity... but I'd gladly let her do it again.

"Yeah, hence the model. You know? Carlisle and Esme wouldn't have let me gone if, uh, she were part of the entertainment."

Bella shook her head, looked dazed. "LaCroix?"

"Um, yeah," I remembered. "That's it. He said it just like that, nice accent."

"Thank you…" she climbed on top of me.

"He's not attractive," I warned her. "His clothing line's alright, but there's a reason he needs male models."

"I'm not thinking about Christian Martin LaCroix," Bella scoffed. "I'm thinking about how dangerous you're going to be to the world."

"We," I said. "But I've had enough of being a threat. Believe it or not, the useful people I was talking about? I got them to be our… allies in a good way."

"Compared to?"

"Finding weaknesses, exploitation, blackmail."

"Oh," she smirked. "Those."

"I told them, basically straight out- I'm going to be very rich one day. I'm pretty well-off now, and I've only been alive for twenty-one years. Give me your personal number, put us on your Christmas Card list, and… after some more small-talk, we'd shake hands."

"Just like that, huh?"

"I might have used better phrasing… it helped that Carlisle and Esme were behind my 'social networking.' They got to help people, too, you know?"

"Dangerous," Bella put her head on my chest and rested her body fully on mine.

"Practical," I slowly stroked her back.

"So fucking _hot_…" I waited to feel her nails, but Bella continued to lay still. I'd give her a minute to come down from the pot, she had smoked more than me.

"It's a talent we both share," I wanted to remind her.

"What is?"

"Finding, and charming, important people."

"Who have I gotten? She asked, "Aside from my Dad?"

"The hospital staff and Carlisle, you got them to let you out of the hospital early. I know they'd want to keep you overnight for observation." She couldn't deny it, I knew for a fact that it had been suggested. "You probably had a concussion. No one would let me see the actual charts."

"I was fine. It was a safety procedure, which Charlie didn't need to pay for, when I knew he wasn't going to sleep, anyway. I saved him a few thousand dollars, and I was right. He kept checking in on me all night."

"The secretary when we snuck off to the meadow?"

"A desperate plan that paid off."

"Um… the security guard that almost caught me going down on you?"

"Freaky good timing."

"I don't believe that heavily on luck. Especially when you've gone out of your way not to hurt people in the process. That's deliberate. You think I didn't notice that you, on the spot, set yourself up to take full blame for_ our _plan?"

"I think you're stoned and being over-analytical."

"Probably, I hadn't felt this relaxed in a long time. "But I'm at my most normal, right now."

"Wow. Pass me the pipe one more time?"

I inched my hand across the comforter until I found it. She didn't need to sit up, I angled my head to the side as she took a hit. No worries about singing my hair, I really didn't want her to move.

Just by smelling it again… jesus. Smoking that all of the time would definitely fuck me over. I wouldn't trust myself to drive right after, not even alone. As it was, we still had hours left.

Bella sighed softly and curled around me.

"I really like this," she said. "We haven't been able to talk very much. I like our conversations."

I'd go somewhere else with that later, but for now I made a sound of agreement and moved my hands down past her shoulder blades. When I got to her waist, I had to pause a moment.

"We're going out tomorrow. All day, I've just decided," I let her in on my plan. "Starting with lunch, followed closely by dinner… and then dessert, snacks in between… you need to eat more."

Bella ignored the last part of what I had said. "Right. We can just waltz around town tomorrow while everyone else is in school?"

"We don't go back until the third," I said. "There's a teacher's convention… somewhere. We have off for the next two days."

"Really?" Bella propped her chin on my chest, she looked as though I had given her Christmas.

'Yes," I laughed. "I didn't arrange it, you know."

I'd have tried if it meant I'd see a fraction of this happiness cross her face. It twisted my stomach, but in a not-so-bad way.

"I had _no_ idea," she giggled. I felt her nails dig into my skin. "Two whole days!"

Her entire body quivered as she burrowed in, close as she could get.

"Oh, sorry. You were talking about food? Are you hungry?"

"No," I answered her patiently. "I eat like a normal person."

"So do I."

"One meal a day doesn't count as 'normal.'"

"I eat more than once every day. There's breakfast-"

"Coffee doesn't count," I snorted.

"I always eat dinner. And I snack before bed, remember?" She quirked her eyebrow at me. "You keep buying me food, anyway. I've gained weight, Edward-"

"You haven't." I measured with my hands.

"My scale says otherwise."

"Do you feel this?" I placed my hands, palms down, near her hips.

"Yes," she smiled languorously, "It feels _great_"

"Look," I held her arm against mine. "Maybe if I put it this way… you know how I like to bite you?"

"Mmm," she agreed.

"I could bite down harder, and do a bunch of other things a lot harder, if you didn't bruise so easily."

"Gaining weight will help that? What if you're disgusted and it's too late? I'll have to buy all new clothes…"

"Ha," I smacked her ass. "You don't like the way you look?"

"That was going to be my next point," she moved a little and looked at my hand. "Did you really just-"

"Yea," I let her hair cover my face. "I did."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel sexy," she purred, sarcastically.

"I know." Without giving her any warning I dug my knee into the mattress and flipped Bella onto her back. She bit her lip and smiled at me slowly.

"I'm way too high… don't do that again for a little bit, okay?"

"Sure thing, babe." I kissed her neck and framed her with my arms.

"Hey, Edward?"

I settled over her and kept most of my weight on my arms. She wasn't unhealthy, but I noticed that she tended to follow the model myth. Not all men wanted their women to be rail thin and wispy. Bella wasn't there yet, though, in a few months, if she didn't start eating right, that's where she'd be.

Personally, I'd find her sexy no matter what she looked like. I hadn't lied about what I wanted to do. She liked small amounts of pain, I could do so much better…

"Yes?"

"I didn't mean never," she smoothed my hair back. "Because that was really fucking hot."

"I'm," I licked the underside of her collarbone, "really glad," I nipped at the swell of her breast, "you liked it."

Bella tried to move her hands, but I put mine over her wrists. My leather wristband was rough against my fingers.

I didn't need to use handcuffs.

She spread her legs further apart, but I kept moving downward until Bella had no choice but to hook her knees around my shoulders. I felt the prick of her nails again. Turning her hands so that they were palms down, I held them in place.

Her nipple stiffened when I ran my tongue softly around it in a circle. I let my piercings slide around the tip. She shifted her hips on mine restlessly and made little sounds in the back of her throat. I took my time, working my mouth over her body, until she arched her back.

"What will you do?"

Her breath went ragged, she narrowed her eyes at me and swallowed hard. I let go of her wrists and she nodded, understanding.

I opened my mouth wide over her breast and let my tongue piercing brush over and under, around… when I did something that made her moan, I'd repeat the motion with my fingers on her other nipple.

Bella rocked her hips when I took her breasts into my hands. Her chest was flushed, she was trying to breathe evenly. I let her feel each groove of my hand, she tossed her head on the pillows when I rolled her nipples softly between my fingers.

Adding more pressure, I waited until she gasped. I wasn't truly hurting her, but this was a little more force than I had used in the past. Bella's eyes pleaded with mine, her pulse was racing, echoing in my head.

"Close, babe?"

She nodded and cried out when I released all of the pressure at once. It took a moment, but Bella's eyes widened. She writhed as the blood returned to her nipples. I soothed one with firm strokes of my tongue.

"What did you-"

"Like it?" I laughed darkly, she had taunted me earlier… I had warned her. Not to mention, that night I had accidentally ingested PCP, this had been one of my fantasies. I called it to life wanting to erase all of the bad memories.

The rest of that night, I can barely…. Spacey memories of Bella pleading with me in muffled whispers, her biting into my chest; I knew she had been aroused past the point of tolerance. Half-awake, drowning in the scent and taste of her, I got her off twice before I had to give in.

Tonight, I toyed with her hipbone, … tonight.

"I'm so-" she broke off in hopeful silence as I let the back of my hand brush her inner thigh

I ran my blunt fingernails back and forth over her shaven mound. So very smooth, warm, like silk under my fingertips. When I curled two fingers inside of her and rubbed them against her g-spot, I groaned at how wet she was. Withdrawing, I moved two fingers over her clit and watched as it hardened under my touch

"Edward," she rocked against my hand.

"No," I laughed, pulling away. "Not like that again.".

Her legs started trembling, I moved her knees higher onto my shoulders. I didn't want anything t distract her, me. Bella arched her back and tilted her pelvis up, I licked across my piercings so they wouldn't be rough against her.

Instead of Bella, I tasted… mango?

"It seemed fair," she panted. "You bought… all that perfume for me."

It was perfect.

She tried to lock her thighs around my head, but with the way I had positioned her, she was too high up. I pressed her hips to the bed with the sides of my arms. Holding her open, I let my tongue slide completely over her.

Bella cried out, I felt her muscles contract.

I let the ball of my piercing rub over the tip of her clitoris while I stroked it's underside with the flat of my tongue. Her breath sped up, she was biting through her lip. She involuntarily clawed at the sheets as she got closer to orgasm.

When I curled my tongue over her, Bella moaned my name. Over and over, faster, I held my breath as she came. Her upper body arched, she smiled and made muffled sounds of pleasure.

Not letting her get away from me, I slid two of my fingers inside of her and felt her clench down on them. Her g-spot was swollen, I flicked my fingers around it gently to help her build again.

She had relaxed slightly, though she twitched now and then when I used too much pressure. Her clit throbbed under my tongue. I didn't move aside from brushing against it whenever the spasms around my fingers lessened.

When I cleared my throat, Bella jumped. I let her legs slide back down onto the bed, but I had no intention of moving.

She bent her knees, getting more comfortable, and when I grasped her waist, Bella put her hand over mine. I used the lightest pressure possible as I let my tongue move over her again. She squeezed my hand, her lower body froze.

Too much? Too soon?

I continued what I was doing and let her body speak. Her grip on my hand eased, she relaxed back onto the mattress. Making my tongue softer, I breathed carefully. Bella rolled her hips sinuously and I had to groan in appreciation.

Fucking incredible.

I twisted my fingers inside of her, working them in and out made her shudder. I let my bottom lip cover my teeth so that I could control the piercings. Sliding my mouth over her clit, kissing and sucking on her lips, I felt her hand in my hair.

Her fingers smoothed over the side of my neck, she met my eyes. When I started a fast rhythm with my tongue, she closed them and stopped breathing.

I wanted to show Bella what sex could be like without all of the urgency. It was something I wanted to experience for myself, and this was the perfect opportunity.

Not that I was tapping out, never, but getting off five times throughout the day seemed to be my cure. Once… okay, twice, in the morning… with Bella on the bike-

My hand twitched, Bella moaned and laughed at the same time.

I wanted her, but I wasn't about to pounce on her like some animal. Having been handcuffed, being high, I had been a little rough to start with, but that was easily rectified.

Her nails dug into my hand, my name fell from her lips. Whispering, her voice breaking, I withdrew my fingers from inside of her.

"No-" she didn't have time to drag my hand back.

She bucked her hips as she came, I wrapped my arm around her waist and dragged her lower on the bed. Continuing to move her hips, my cock started to throb as she rubbed against me. I wiped my face on one of the sheets before I started kissing her neck.

It was easy to reach under the pillows to locate one of the condoms. If she wanted me to, I'd gladly go down on he again later. Wanting to keep that option open, I ripped through hard plastic and slid the latex sheath over my cock.

"Why?" She pressed her chest against mine, put her arms around my waist.

Was she talking about the condom or the fact that I had taken my hand away?

"This is why." I thrust into her, confident that I wouldn't hurt her. When I was deep as I could get, I stopped moving entirely. "Worth waiting for?"

"Always." She kissed me, urging me to move by putting her legs around my waist, I did what she wanted. I moved slowly, raising my hand I cupped her cheek and deepened the kiss.

The second orgasm hadn't seemed to help her much. She raised her hips to meet mine each time I slid in and out of her.

"Fuck, Edward," she moaned. "You feel so _good_."

I completely understood. So much for a remedy, my body was already moving faster. Bella nipped my neck, she smoothed her tongue along my shoulder. I dragged a pillow over, shuddering as she clenched her muscles around me.

Raising her hips, I put the pillow underneath her. I stopped her from kneeling up with me. She put her arms over her head and smiled when I took her by the waist. I thrust into her and paused for a few seconds before repeating the motion.

She arched her back and ran her hands up and down my arms.

"Edward," her eyes fluttered shut.

I dug my knees into the mattress and pressed up towards her g-spot each time I raised her hips from the pillow.

"Fuck," she gasped, her hands going still over my forearms. "Finally…. Fuck!… Edward, I'm-"

Making a sound between laughter and desperation, Bella came. Scorching trails of pleasure ran down my back. She took hold of my arms and thrust her hips wildly on mine. I pressed my hand to her lower back, and now allowing myself to slide out of her, I helped her straddle me.

Bella braced her hands on my chest, she moved her knees higher up on the mattress. Not slowing down at all, throwing her head back, she took me deep within her body over and over again. She did… something… I had to make her stop for a second.

"Did I hurt you?" Her face was flushed again, lips bright red.

I snorted. "No. You didn't hurt me."

She shifted slightly so that her feet rested on the mattress. Leaning back, she braced her weight on my thighs.

"Oh… my… _fuck_." I reached up and grabbed two posts on the headboard. Almost in a squatting position, she raised and lowered herself without needing me to help her.

It was something I had gotten used to with Bella. She gave as good as she got, and when she was completely satisfied, she went fucking crazy. Facing her willpower was like punching a concrete wall.

But now… now that she could relax, breathe, Bella could give in.

She watched me through eyes that were heavy with pleasure. I was trying to stay calm, in control, but I wasn't able to do anything to help distract myself.

"Bella…-"

She looked confused, I could see that she wouldn't hear me. Nirvana, I saw it on her face. She clenched down around me, so unbelievably fucking hard. I'd never be able to explain it.

A flash of fire, the sweet kiss of electricity- the sensation so raw it bordered on pain.

If she didn't feel so fucking tight… all the fuck around me… fucking beautiful…

If she didn't know how to manipulate her body, trying to make me feel the same ecstasy she felt…

Fuck!

I grasped her hips and helped support her. Bella let me withdraw completely, she switched places with me again. I didn't have to say anything.

With her legs around my shoulders again, I ground my pubic bone down against her clit. I didn't know if this were her second or third orgasm, but some of the frenzy dissipated. Bella curled herself around me, boneless, she made content sounds.

I slowed a little to see if her breath would hitch, if I could get her to come again… she kissed my shoulder, my neck. Her fingers were soft in my hair, her voice a whisper across my skin.

She could, I just needed to hold out for a few minutes.

Minutes.

The churning in my lower stomach grew stronger. By trying to block out all of what I felt, I was able to feel everything. Her hipbones sliding on mine, the soft indent of her stomach, her pale and perfect breasts were tinged with light pink marks that _I_ had left on her skin.

I unwound her legs from around my shoulders and pressed them hard against my sides. Her knees bent further around my hips when I thrust into her again.

I usually tried for more variation; different places, new positions… but none of them fit what I wanted. I needed to see her, have her be as close to me as she could get. I wanted her lips, her tongue, the way she drew me in and burned me alive.

Bella arched her lower back high enough so I could get my arm around her waist. She put her arms around my neck and pressed her face to my chest.

Looking down at her, she pulled my head down so I could kiss her again. She pressed her pelvis down when I was fully inside of her, her body rocked with mine. I felt a shiver spread through her, the fluttering began deep inside, I had to grit my teeth to keep from losing control of myself.

Long, drawn out, I had never felt anything like it before.

"I love you." She whispered the words near my ear. I buried my face in her neck, she raised her hips to help me.

Her body slowed, I couldn't hold out any longer. Instead of a violent explosion that left me shaking, white-knuckled and swearing… this was different. It rolled up through my body, along my spine, down deep into my stomach.

"Fuck," she laughed softly, happily. "I love you so much."

I buried my face in the curve of her neck. Trying not to fall on top of her, I barely rolled to the side in time. My heart was pounding, the roaring in my head subsided slowly. I blinked and could see the room again.

Bella's front was pressed against mine. She put one of her legs over my waist and cushioned her head on my arm.

"I love you, too," I replied, now that I could speak.

Not only my hands were shaking. My arms, my legs, I couldn't have been more satisfied.

Satisfied?

Ha.

"You're looking triumphant," she smiled at me.

"And you're more alert than you should be." I ran my fingers over her back, but Bella didn't jump as she normally would.

"God," she seemed to curl in on herself. "Please, no round four. Not until… at least… an hour. Maybe more?"

"I'll think about it," I grinned.

Honestly, I was pretty good for a while. Not the rest of the night, I couldn't promise that. … but my body needed a short break.

"Cigarette?"

"Sure," I agreed.

Bella groaned as she reached for the pack of cigarettes.

"Want to take a bath with me later?"

"A bath?"

"Yes," she lit both cigarettes. "You know, fill the tub with water, add bubbles, sit in it for a while and let your muscles relax…"

I ran my hand over her ass, but decided not to smack it when I saw her eyes narrow just the slightest bit.

"I know what a bath is," I scoffed.

"You game?"

"Um… sure."

They always had seemed to be more of a chick thing. Bubbles, candles, soft music... when I took a shower, I was in and then out. If I wanted to relax, I could do that in my room.

"Why the reticence? You've showered with me before."

"Exactly." I realized that i hadn't filled her in on my thought process. "Baths were never really my thing."

"Do you have a personal vendetta against…" she paused. "I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. Never mind, we'll-"

"Hang on," I tried to interrupt her.

"… smoke up?"

We stared at one another in confusion for a second.

"You're not an idiot," I said.

"Sorry," she spoke at the same time.

I held a hand up and Bella nodded.

"You're not an idiot." I had to clarify that first. "What are you sorry for?"

She reached for the pipe and knocked some of the loose pot into it. I was glad that she didn't try to move away from me. That would have made me worry. I was way too relaxed to think about going back into defensive mode.

While she was busy, I slid the condom off and put it in the empty pot bag. I had better places to hide marijuana; where it wouldn't be found. If I wanted to take that risk, I wasn't sure yet. There was always the chance we'd smoke through it.

"Um… I just thought, maybe, I'd accidentally… inadvertently… dredged up something from your past-"

"Oh." Bella looked relieved that I had interrupted her this time. "You didn't, don't worry."

That wasn't entirely true, but those things had happened a long time ago. It was amazing of her to remember, and to be tactful.

Not many people did.

Those memories, though- I didn't live in the past. Every now and then seeing or hearing certain things could disorient me. I let part of the memory play before I made it fade, and acknowledged that I was alive whereas they had died.

Whatever had happened, whatever had been done to me… I'd do a lot worse back when we met on the other side. Until that point, thinking about gave them power. I refused to let them bother me from beyond the grave.

If I lost the capability to tune them out, if memories stopped me from functioning like a normal person, I'd let Carlisle call his psychologist friends.

Until that point, I had Bella, naked, lying next to me.

"Why the fuck not?" I shrugged. "Let's take a bath together. Another first, right?"

"Apparently so?"

Why were we smoking out here? If we took the pipe into the bathroom with us, ran hot water which created steam…

"Wait a second," I looked over to Bella. "You've done that with someone else?"

Her right eyebrow rose and arched in a way I'd never seen from her before.

"No…"

"But," I hedged.

"But… no," she laughed. "I've read about it, though."

"Your plans," I crooked-grinned and hoped that she would let my sip-up go.

"Mmm." Bella looked at the comforter and then up at me through her lashes. She knew, I had no doubt, and if she mentioned jealousy, I wouldn't be able to deny it.

Since when had I been the jealous type?

Was possessive jealous?

"You're sexy,' she smiled lazily.

I raised her hand to my mouth and nipped at one of her fingers.

My plans for slow sex might not have gone very far, but I considered it progress. Practice made perfect, right?

"Would it be pushing things if I called Charlie and asked him to let me stay the night? At your house, I'm not sure if I want to lie that much…"

"I don't know. Everyone's been pretty cool about things so far."

"Pushing luck, right? But, maybe, he's expecting it and I'll be missing out on an easy opportunity if I don't take the chance?"

"When you put it like that," I had to laugh. "Call, see what he says. Worst case, I take you home by two."

She hopped off the bed and went over to her pile of clothes. Holding the phone in both hands, she looked back at me.

"I need to have a better plan," she decided. "He might ask questions and I don't want to use your parents like that, not when our families are friends."

"We've got a couple of hours left." I patted the mattress. "We'll think of something."

"Always," she grinned.

I put her phone next to us on the pillow. Kissing my way down her neck, Bella arched her back. I nudged the pipe, pot, and lighters out of the way. I sat up with my back against the headboard, she crawled into my lap.

Content to let that problem settle for the moment, I continued to be amazed by Bella's compassion.

… because our families were friends.

I shared her worry, but that didn't mean that I always would have. Bella went out of her way to keep from hurting people, in any way. I didn't. The people that mattered, of course, but strangers? New acquaintances?

Over her own happiness, every time.

Fucking amazing.

I loved feeling her heart beating against my chest. It was incredibly… peaceful. I understood why Bella liked falling asleep with her hand on my chest or her fingers near my neck.

Comforting.

**Authors End Note: Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! **Lemon cookies for all! =D  
**Authors End Note 2: **Going back through all of the reviews I've yet to answer… there are twenty-one pages of them. You guys are Amazing!  
Suffice to say, I'm deeply sorry, but it'll take me days to get through them all. I'll get far as I can tonight, continue in the next chapter- so on and so forth until I'm caught up. Thanks for staying with 'Handcuff Bracelet' and the support all of you offer is incredible!

**MyEdwardJacob-**  
Yes, definitely. There was a lot going on in that chapter, and Edward's not the most outwardly emotional of people. Considering time, his character, I felt it was safe to postpone those thoughts for a while.  
**Parkesy23-  
**No problem! I've been thinking more about Rose lately. She'll be in soon, no worries!  
**Bearygirl, san4jon, DodgerMcClure, tghb, Lilyiri, bookfreaklover, 1dreamkeeper, rileyks3, mormor201, ItsAlreadyDone, NotReality, Fvprosey, Rachel123, TwilightLover1910, Ocean lilie, RideTheGlitterDick, Dragonladytx, tina062093, Valleegrl, Thinkingofyou19, Latuacantante4him - **wow. Really, wow. Thanks to all of you! So very much! I hope your holidays have gone well! Thank you for reviewing, I'm really sorry that I can't leave separate notes for everyone. Know that I appreciate each and every comment you've all left!**  
AngelaSampedro99-  
**Thanks! Rose and Bella are going to be fun together, I can feel it already. Sexy music, a few girl bands… I feel scenes coming on. =)  
**Ageise02-  
**I'm glad, too! I could see her points, and I could see Edward's. I didn't know who would win. I still don't, but it's leaning in Edward's favor…  
Edward's nineteen, Alice and Bella are 18. I believe so, anyway. Off the top of my head, yes. Not sure about Jasper, I don't think he's ever really mentioned it. I figure that Edward turned seventeen after they adpted him, hence why he counts the year before as one? I'll have to go back and make more sense of that. Sorry for any confusion, I don't plan before I write- so, as the plot progressed, I've had to alter facts. I try to go back and fix them, but… sorry!  
**TwiSagaLover-  
**Hahaha, thank you so very much! You're amazing for all of your help promoting the story. =D!  
Edward, the protective older brother, he makes me so happy! I've never heard of 'The New Kid, All I've Ever Dreamed Of.' I'll have to add them to my list! Clipped Wings was amazing! I haven't gotten to 'Misapprehension' yet, but 'Inked' by ARenee blew me away. 'Tropic of Virgo' and 'Wide Awake,' too. 'Wide Awake actually mind-fucked me for a really long time, I loved it!  
**VAVikingGirl- **  
Exactly. I feel that way, too. Writing is really important to me, it makes me sad to read that some published authors did so only for the money. Talented, yes, but without passion…  
**Ellenah-  
**Hahaha, that's awesome. I'm glad you found the phone conversation amusing, =D.  
**Sarix Angel-  
**Thank you, thank you! ^_^. Yup! I introduced Emmett, I knew you'd be happy. I tried o make his character fun, despite not having him speak very much. I don't want to box myself in if he becomes someone major, you know?  
**Jansails-  
**Thanks! I'm so happy that people like Charlie so much! Thank you for the medical advice, it was incredibly useful. I've made notes, thanks again!  
Wow. Your compliments for Edward… wow! I love him, I love writing him- and it's really awesome to know that people feel the same way.  
**Fliberty- **  
Wow. Your review blew me away!  
I didn't see them being this comfortable with one another, either. From the way I had set things up, I thought there would be more of a fight-capture situation. Instead… well, here we are- Chapter 40!  
Edward isn't able to let anything go. He likes information too much. And getting the facts straight, in case they need to be used later, that's always useful.  
I like writing fun chapters. They seem to come few and far between… shh… but they're actually more difficult to write. Bella and Edward fight happiness so much.  
**Christykq-  
**Christy, wow! Thank you for all of your reviews!  
I'm really happy you love Edward so much! And yes, he couldn't help but go to dark places in his head. Charlie would never hit Bella, but Edward isn't the type to blindly trust that, even if he does trust Charlie.  
I can promise Emmett won't be a mindless oaf. Depth, I like character depth. I try to make sure they all have their own pasts and quirks. If I can write the people I see in my head, I'm happy.

I did! Yay! I wrote the scene between Edward, Esme, and Carlisle! It makes me happy when your requests match up to what I write. I don't want people think I disregard their comments, =).  
**LadyTx-  
**=D. Hehe, thank you!  
**Drkvctry-  
**No problem! Soon as Rosalie was mentioned I knew Emmett would eventually show. It just took a while, haha. 3  
**Dazzleglo-  
**Glad you liked it!  
I didn't want the chapter to end with a fight. Edward was nervous enough about mentioning her moving in with him, I didn't want to make future conversations uncomfortable. You know? If they fought once, it sets a pattern. They have enough to worry about, haha.  
I can't see anyone not liking Alice. She's so kind, nice… not sure what Rosalie's reaction is going to be, but I have 'peaceful' planned. =D.  
**AngeloFRosesCullen-  
**Sorry about the confusion! I went back and changed that chapter. That's awesome your parents were so understanding!

Yeesh, traumatizing indeed! 'wince. Horses mating… yea, it's pretty, um, intense?  
**Ccaajjaa-  
**There ya go! I couldn't jump right into the romantic aspect, but I tried to have there be progression each time they managed to get some alone time. I never liked Rosalie's character very much. In the Twilight stories, I've tried to make her something… more. I'm glad you caught the 'neighbor' quote, =D  
**Kitasky123-  
**Hey, Kit! Thanks very much!  
**Cat5050-  
**I'm not sure what Bella was thinking. Edward definitely, at least now, isn't marria/ge friendly. The lack of light and fluffy is my fault. There were some things that I was working out, and now that I'm in Cali, I've noticed the chapters have been lighter. More plot twists soon, I won't let the story flatline!  
**Karen4honor-  
**Chocolate pop tarts are incredible! Everyone seems really happy about Rosalie and Emmett coming into the story. ^_^.

Hi! Merry, Merry Christmas to you and yours! I went back and fixed what you mentioned, thanks so much for that! Sorry for the choppiness…!  
**Ethans mom-  
**Thanks! I hope that Rose and Emmett will bring new life to 'Handcuff.' Two all new personalities to form and write, I'm excited!  
**Les16-  
**Yah... Edward and Bella like to talk, haha. Hopefully this chapter made up for a Lot of lemons that I decided to split.  
Thank you, Les! You're amazing, and thanks so very much! That you love Edward And Bella… it means that I've done my job. =D. Everyone seems to be really happy with Charlie, too. Surprisingly so, he's always been fun for me to write. I didn't know he'd become such a popular character!  
I love your profile, by the way. That picture always makes me smile. =)  
**ColourmeCullen-  
**Thank you for all of your reviews!  
Yay! I was more worried about Bella's character. Edward is easy to write, Bella too to a certain degree, but her story's more complicated. Edward has no problem talking provided he trusts the person. It's more difficult for Bella. =/

Hehe, squishing Charlie. Long-winded they are, but I try not to make them be repetitive. I like avoiding unnecessary conversation, too. To the point, right?

I really struggled with lemon vs. plot in the beginning. The story seemed to be going somewhere serious, and throwing in pointless smut- fun as it is to write, didn't feel right. I wanted those moments to be meaningful somehow, despite the 'rough' content… Bella and Edward had a lot to learn.

Chapter 10 Really affected people! I continue to be surprised by the responses to it! People  
have been so Angry, haha!

I love Jasper! He's got so much depth as a character! So many personality quirks to use in different ways! Not to mention, Jackson Rathbone, Robert Pattinson, and Kristen Stewart- their body language in movies, their expressions- really helpful. I'm a loser that way, haha. Some of Edward's expressions came from 'Remember Me,' I'm not going to lie. It's all about the way they move, similar mannerisms displayed from film to film, y'know?

Oh God, I know! The thought of Edward in leather on a bike, jesus!

You brought up a good point. People should have mentioned something… I've been going back to edit and add more to chapters. I'll add a note to a chapter or two, thanks for that!

I'm glad chapter 34 amused you so much! You caught the neighbor comment, too! I like that Edward went back, too. If he didn't, I think it would have disrupted the story. Edward might have been seen in a different way, definitely don't want that!  
**Ssherrill115-  
**Thank you, really. There's been so much traffic lately for this story, and I know a lot of the credit goes to you. The review you wrote is incredible!  
**Mad4Hugh-  
**Thanks for letting me know where you found the story! **Ssherrill **is awesome! I'm glad that you can see things so vividly, =)!  
**Anniebme- **  
^_^. Southern Fanfic is amazing in so many ways! Thanks for letting me know and for your reviews!

I'm sorry for almost making you cry! =/  
**Guccisassy-  
**Mary Jane is weed, yes. =). There are so many names for it… most people just say pot though. Easy, uncomplicated- I've heard it referred to as McDonald's before, haha.  
**Patte-  
**Thank you! It's nice to know that people see progression and character development. That way, I know it's not all in my head, you know? The story's going to be pretty long, I've got so much planned for them! Not sure about marriage and kids, but I've been contemplating a second story…  
**EmCullenIsMyTeddyBear-  
**Thanks for noticing the 'babies are born with blue eyes' fact!  
**CitizenCullen25-  
**Thanks for your awesome reviews, Citizen! I loved the dress, too. All of Bella' clothes make me drool, haha.

There are so many times I've considered having Charlie bust them for something. I wouldn't know where to go from there. Once trust is broken between Bella and Charlie, Charlie and Edward… I don't like the new restrictions that would bring. I want to accomplish more before anything serious happens!  
**Jbquinn-  
**Thanks, Jb! I love that you love everything, haha. =D  
**Heavyinfinity-  
**Thanks for your reviews! Jasper, I've found, is incredibly easy-going… until it comes to his horses. Country born and bred, haha, he's so fun!  
**DreamyDane-  
**I like that they might move in together soon, too! It'll make writing a little easier without having to keep notes about curfew, school vacation days, parental interruptions… argh!  
**Jenny-  
**I've devoted so much of my time to this story… I'd consider that sad if I didn't love writing it. I love reading fanfiction, too, no worries! High praise from you! Every second, haha. Thanks for the compliments, I definitely plan on keeping this story going!  
**Janshanr-  
**All of your reviews- O.O! Thank you!  
I know, the e-cigarette things are really expensive. I'm saving up for one because… you can smoke in so many more places! At bars, fuck yes!

I'm glad that you've liked some of the songs! I love, love all of them. Some I've been storing for years, I didn't have a story to use them in.

Nope, nothing happened with Tanya. =D. I want to see 'Edward' with eyeliner on, too. Jessus!  
**Mourning Raven-  
**=D! Hooray for details, haha. Thank you so much, Raven!  
**Pumba-  
**Your review-! Thank you! Hope you like this chapter as much!  
**Cullenary-  
**Haha, I'm happy you like Alice already! Thank you for the reviews, they made me happy. =D.  
**TwilightJunki-  
**I love 'That 70's Show!' I watch the re-runs, too. I love, love that they give you time to roll a joint or pack the pipe before they smoke.  
Your review made me smile so many times, thanks so much for taking time to comment!

**Authors End Note 3:  
**So… I have to stop here. Got six or seven pages in…! If it weren't Christmas I'd write back to the rest, but I've been hiding for too long. Have to go socialize now, 'shudder. Talk to you all next chapter!


	41. Drive

**Chapter 41**

**Authors Note:**  
Long story short... the netbook I had this chapter on is now... somewhere unknown. I'm sharing tactful facts because this story basically revolves around things like this, and it's not huge enough where I think any of your opinions about the story will change.  
Had a run in with some police in LB, almost spent New Year's in jail. Spent a day and a half there as it was. Got bailed out four hours before New Year's Eve- that party after was fantastic, by the way- and somewhere, somehow, the police that took my notebooks and netbook lost it. Got the notebooks back, though, which would have been tragic if I hadn't.  
Wrote a tumblr post about it, more details there.  
It was a misdemeanor, not a felony. It doesn't have to deal with driving, drugs, or anything that'd make you go- 'Uhhh...' about a person. No worries, guys, I'm not a convicted killer or anything.  
I'm really, really upset about the netbook, not because of the money aspect, but because all those Scenes and chapters... I might not get them back. And I can't remember all of them. I couldn't remember Chapter 41 until yesterday- 15k words, a paragraph away from ending it and posting... son of a bitch. It would have been up by New Year's... bastards, all!

**Authors Note 2:  
**Which brings me to Note 2. This chapter might seem a little... strange. That's because anything I write twice, it'll always be written this way. It's never good as the first, effortless, good writing energy chapter. Once I get the netbook back- and I will, if I have to hire a P.I and several lawyers- I'll repost this chapter. Useful friends, haha.  
**Authors Note 3:  
**The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Playlist**  
**I Choose- **Offspring  
**Stuck On You- **Paramore  
**Frozen- **Madonna  
**Fragile Tension- **Depeche Mode**  
Drive- **Incubus

**Bella's Point of View**

I lay in the curve of Edward's arm. Watching him exhale smoke toward the ceiling, I took a drag of my own cigarette and smiled.

Overhanging my happiness... I needed to call Charlie. I felt so peaceful; anything that might disrupt that, I didn't want to face. Yet, that didn't mean I'd have to be home any less sooner.

The only way to know for sure was-

"So... after we finish this Newport, want to call your Dad?"

I had seen Edward calm and happy before, but never on this level. Adding that to my list of Pro's for my 'Moving in With Edward' list, I was pretty sure about my decision.

To see him like this all of the time- I needed another day or so to think about things before I told him.

"Yes." I replied, "I just don't know how I'm going to answer his questions."

"What do you know he's going to ask?"

"Where are you?"

"On the Res, hanging with your friends."

"We'll be staying here?"

"Yep. With everyone else who doesn't plan on going home. Jake said there were two other guest rooms, right? It won't be a lie." He paused to think. "There are other people here, they will be staying with us, just not _with us_."

"Why aren't Alice and Jasper here? We can't lie about that, he might see them driving or something."

"They went to check on Jasper's horses. There's still a chance that they'll drop by. You never know, Alice is impulsive that way."

"Okay," I took a deep breath and pulled the sheet over my torso. "Here goes..."

I pressed the button for recent calls and hit Send when I saw 'Dad.'

Ring... ring... ring...

"Yes, Bells?"

I heard laughter in the background. The sound of a sports commentary.

"What're you up to?"

"Watching 'old school' baseball legends with a friend. You know, er, how that goes," he coughed. "What about you and Edward? Alice? Jasper?"

"All good here..."

The laugh had been higher than I'd expect from one of Charlie's friends. Then again, I didn't know how much beer they had ingested. If they were watching baseball and giggling... Charlie didn't date, so far as I knew...

Before the awkward silence had a chance to stretch, I cleared my throat.

"Um, Dad? I sort-of have something I want to discuss with you."

"Like what?"

"The party might run a little late... and Jake has this awesome room where a bunch of people bunk, you know the Res. I was wondering, would it be okay if we stayed and, um, then Edward could drop me off sometime tomorrow?"

"You know I can't speak for Edward's parents. They have to agree _after_ he calls them."

"Right. He has, he will, I mean. I just wanted to check with you first because... it seemed like the thing to do?"

"Right. Mind putting Edward on the phone for a minute?"

Edward glanced up sharply having felt me looking at him.

"Sure. Dad, you know how to find black and white sports segments online, right?"

I pointed at the phone, then at him and made a gesutre as though I were passing it to him. He started a flurry of action that made me love him even more.

"On the computer?"

"Um, yeah. Turn it on, I set the homepage to google. It's a search engine."

Throwing the blanket over his lower body, Edward made sure to cover the pipe and pot, too. His eyes darted around the room, pausing momentarily on the door.

He made a 'what the fuck' expression and shrugged impatiently.

"Type in the baseball player's name and the words 'free video' or 'free highlights.' You'll be able to watch them in black and white, I'm sure, for the really old filming."

"Really old, huh?" He chuckled.

"You know that's not what I meant." I rolled my eyes. "And you know I don't think you're old!"

'Are you ready?' I mouthed the words at Edward. He nodded.

"Hey, Dad? Edward's still here if you want-"

"Computer's still loading up," Charlie said. "Yeah, put him on."

"Chief Swan?"

Edward nodded once, twice, smiled to himself.

"On the Res, yes. And-"

His eyebrow quirked, but he didn't say anything to re-interrupt my Dad. I couldn't hear the conversation so I stuck to watching Edward for hints.

"I thought I'd take her out to breakfast, not at the Diner. I know," he grinned. "And then I'd like to drive Bella into the city, stop at a bookstore or two. Dinner follows, I'll have her home shortly after that point."

I also loved that the polite, indifferent, icy Edward didn't rise to the surface. Was he actually comfortable with Charlie... or was he just that high? I didn't think it was the latter.

Good as this pot was, soon as I heard Dad's voice, I immediately hit reality.

I did my best to make an 'Oh, are we?' expression. Edward seemed to understand. Shrugging again, he let me know it had been a hastily concocted plan.

Now Edward was seriously contemplating it. I nodded, it sounded like fun.

Provided Charlie gave his consent...

"Alice and Jasper aren't here right now, no. With all of the Halloween events happening around Forks, Jasper wanted to stop in at the barn to be sure the horses were safe. Alice went with him, but they plan on stopping by later."

He laughed.

"Yes, sure. She's right next to me."

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells... look-"

"I can swing by the station in the morning and bring you breakfast. That way you can see for yourself how okay I am. I'll even stop at the Diner and have them make a To-Go tray for you..."

Charlie paused. "The Diner, huh?"

"I don't want to wait until we get into the city for breakfast. We can eat there and get lunch somewhere that's not Forks?"

"All of this is free?" Charlie laughed. "Ho boy!"

"Google?"

"Yep." He sounded happy and distracted. "The picture's not even blurry..."

"Um... Dad?"

"Yeah, stop by the station in the morning. And if you could be home at a reasonable time tomorrow, I'd really appreciate it."

"... you're saying it's okay?" I held my breath.

"Eggs, scrambled, bacon on the side. Two biscuits, not just one, and ask them to throw in a few packets of strawberry jam? Hash browns, she knows the way I like them cooked."

"Sure," I laughed, light-headed. "No problem. I remember your order, no worries."

"Mmk, you know my feelings on other matters. Ya'll have a good night. Don't drive anywhere this late, deer are everywhere on the Res. That's the last thing you need."

"Okay. Thanks for the heads up."

"Tomorrow, I want us to have dinner together as a family. You can stay over tonight, be home by five or six tomorrow, okay? Edward can come by the house the following morning."

"Absolutely," I replied. "No complaint from me! I'll let Edward know to be careful when driving among deer."

"You do that. Night, Bella."

"Thank you, Dad."

I hung up and let the warm happiness reverberate through all of me. Charlie might have been on a date. 'She' knew the way he liked his food cooked?

It might be a misconception. I was reaching, just a little. He had been going to the Diner for years, of course they'd- she- would have it memorized.

But...

"Edward? Using your keen sense of perception and memory, I need your opinion. Do you think there's a chance Charlie had a woman over?"

"Um," he reached under the covers and took out the pipe. "What are your feelings on the matter?"

"I don't understand."

"Take a puff," he passed it to me.

Taking him up on the offer, I was confused. Why did he look so wary all of a sudden?"

"What I meant was... Does the prospect of your Dad dating, possibly dating," he said quickly, "bother you at all?"

"Oh! No, not at all."

Edward grinned slowly, disbelievingly. "Just like that?"

"Well... yea. Soon as Renee and I moved, I sort-of figured Charlie would jump back into the dating game. They were pretty young then, you know? My parents. It made sense to me, I read that it was a natural step for people going through divorce."

"You read about it." His eyes sharpened the slightest bit.

"Yes. Like grief, they have to accept it, go through the transitional period, and the step after is going out to make new connections." Those books had been incredibly helpful. "It's been... a long time since we moved. I worry about him, I don't think it's that weird. It's a natural thing, him wanting to date. I don't want details about it or anything."

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "Then... I think there's an eighty percent chance that you're right."

"How could you tell?"

"He sounded way too excited. Hanging with a bunch of guy friends... it was too quiet."

I passed the pipe back to him and felt even more content. It was a good thing, I didn't want Charlie to be alone.

Everyone I knew from town was really friendly. They were good people. And the women Charlie associated with, on a friendly level, were the type of women I'd expect him to be interested in.

Warm, good-natured, helpful, good citizens... possibly a sports fan from the games he was able to attend.

"That'd be perfect," I said aloud. "Sorry. Just thinking aloud. What If he met her at a game? She'd be able to watch all of the sports events, maybe she enjoys fishing? I know of women anglers around here."

"You're doing it again," Edward said. "Not that i think you're hiding anything, but you're doing that overly rational thing... I do it when there's something I don't want to think about..."

"Yeah," I flushed. "Thanks for pointing that out. I was trying to see how I truly felt about this potential situation... but I've found that I'm nothing but excited for him. If we're right."

Edward exhaled smoke through his nose. His eyes reddened, I knew it burned.

"You read about it," he said again.

"I wanted facts, not biased opinions."

"And if he _is_ dating someone? You'll meet her eventually, you know."

"Right. I fully plan on it."

"I don't know how else to say this." He pulled me back against him. "You'll be okay? She won't... be invading your space?"

"No!" I laughed. "I'm not going to call her 'Mom' or anything, at least not anytime soon. I'll give her the respect she deserves because... a: she's dating my Dad, and that means she's someone okay. And b: she's probably, had better be, a lot older than me, which means I'd be courteous to begin with."

"Courteous..."

"So," I continued, "knowing that it's been years, that there's no chance Charlie and Renee will get back together- especially because I wouldn't want to inflict Mom on Dad again... why shouldn't he be happy with someone else?"

"Inflict, huh?"

"We need different pot. This stuff is making you more analytical than usual."

"Maybe, yeah." He crooked-smiled at me and moved higher up on the bed. "What do you think about the plan for tomorrow? You game?"

"So long as you don't mind stopping at the Diner and then the Station to bring Charlie breakfast."

"Like you said, I don't feel like waiting to eat." He lit a cigarette for me, for himself. "The Diner has good food, I really don't know why everyone's so against it."

"Hey," I smiled at him. "We're _dating_. Like, really dating. Tomorrow."

"That's just fucking sad," Edward snorted.

"What are you talking about?" I groaned. "We had non-conservative dates, and we learned more about one another than polite dinner conversation would allow."

He looked at me, his expression unreadable. Not because he was hiding behind numbness, but because I didn't know what to call the emotion I saw.

"Besides... we might _still_ be dating. Conservatively. Then, we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be able to do this..."

Climbing on top of him, I watched his eyes change to a deeper green. I wrapped my legs around his hips and put my arms as far around his neck as I could get them.

"Even doing things our way, we stuck to the three-date mandate. You keep forgetting that," I reminded him. "For all of the conversations we have, we need to stop forgetting the important stuff."

"Fine," he sighed. "Your logic is irrefutable. I give in to your impressive rationalization."

"Sound a little more excited about it, I'll give you a re-do."

"I am... looking forward to what we've got planned." He shot me a look, apparently he was too manly to say 'excited.'

That wasn't all. I knew what partially-serious Edward looked like. This was him.

"You're thinking about something. Feel like sharing?"

"Soon as I decide whether or not it's a good idea." He stroked my back avoiding the places that would make me jump. I stayed quiet giving him time to think.

Edward offered me the same. It was one of the things I liked most about him. Most people expected an answer right away, or they tried to fill the silence with nonsense.

He let me sort through all of the writhing and questions within so that I could ask the right ones aloud. I could sift through most of the bullshit in my head and save time.

"Still want to take that bath?"

Maybe he would think better in the tub?

"Sure," I said.

"Cool," he kissed my shoulder. "It'll be good. Helpful."

I climbed off him and took the cigarette and lighter with me. Edward grabbed the pipe and weed. He got to the door before me, though, I let him open it.

The bathroom was big enough for two people, but not many more. A shower with a bathtub took up all of the far wall.

The toilet was next to it, a sink completing things against the wall to my right. With a towel rack to my left, shampoo and conditioner in the shower, nice smelling soap at the sink... Jake had done a really nice job.

There was even a mirror on the back of the door. A place to hang a towel, too.

I turned the water on, adjusting the cold and hot spigots until it felt like a good temperature.

"Tell me something about you I don't know," Edward said. "Anything you want so long as its strange."

He went to sit on the toilet, but changed his mind. Propping himself against the sink didn't work, leaning against the towel rack...

"Want to join me here?"

I opened the bathroom door again and sank down onto the floor. Edward's eyes were stormy, he nodded and sat with his back to the door's frame.

"Smoke?"

"Just a cigarette," he shook his head. "Go ahead if you want to blaze again."

"Cut it with me? I can't smoke a whole cigarette just yet," I said. "And you want to know something strange about me... hmm..."

"Yeah," he said. "Would you agree... taking something that _should _be serious, if you don't feel that it _is_... it's okay to try and make it less serious so you can get over it?"

"Depends on the situation," I answered honestly. Part of me wanted to agree with him immediately, but lying to each other had never been our way.

Blunt honesty, all the way. We were both able to take it. The moment we started lying, considering how much of it we did otherwise, our relationship would never go back to how it was now.

"I used to be afraid of the basement when I was a kid. There were open-backed stairs that ran up along a gross wall of cobwebbed crappy stone. And, every time I had to do laundry, I'd picture a monster crawling out from underneath it."

Edward was looking at me. Not studying my face or paying close attention to my body language, he was simply... looking. Listening.

"So I'd start running, I'd inevitably put my hand into a spiderweb to keep my balance... it took me a while to realize that it was the spiders I was most afraid of."

"And you still are?"

"I... like to think of it as... we understand one another. They know that if they leave me alone, I won't kill them. Or put them outside, I've saved most of them. If they dangle down in front of my face and I react without thinking, they get squashed."

I knew. It came to me suddenly, a flash of insight. Something about the way Edward was reacting versus my memory of the cellar...

"The bathtub," I said quietly.

"No," Edward immediately shook his head. "Not this one in particular."

"We can take a shower instead. They're just as fun..."

"It's okay," he shook his head. "A minor thing... in the past... it's only serious if I make it that way."

Right. Traumatizing childhood incidents, yeah, they just went away.

Actually... yes, some of them did...

To turn the water off or not to turn the water off, I didn't know what to do. Judging by the way Edward was glaring at it, I chose not getting up as the way to go.

If he felt he could overcome whatever had happened, maybe the abuse from this incident hadn't been as bad in comparison?

He needed the chance to find out. Edward knew I was here, he could talk to me. That he was trying to explain meant more to me than I could say. It always did.

"Not sure if I told you about what happened with... a long time ago. I was a kid. I didn't know any better at that point, fighting back hadn't been an option."

His tone was low and even. There was emotion on his face, but nothing but determination and resolve. He didn't feel, or he didn't show, the pain associated with this memory.

"I did... something, not sure what. Maybe I called him a bastard, I liked doing that. I pushed him a little too far and he dragged me into the bathroom. He filled the tub and held me under."

I remained quiet. This wasn't one of is stories where I could flip the fuck out. He wanted to get past it, and 20-questioning him wasn't going to help with that.

"Drowning might be peaceful, but being drowned isn't," he smiled bitterly. "I didn't die, though. Point for me?"

I moved to sit in front of him. Changing my mind, I scooted around so that I could lay down with my head on his thigh.

He looked down at me and some of the bitterness faded. I could still see his face, but I knew Edward liked to play with my hair.

It helped him stay calm sometimes.

"I've been put into bathtubs before, it wasn't really a problem. This one... it sort of... we didn't have glass doors, but-" he savagely shook his head.

"It's similar?" I interjected.

"Eerily so," he seemed thankful for my step-in. "And I want to try something."

Please, please don't let Edward ask me to hold him underwater.

I wouldn't be able to do it.

I loved him, but a request like that went so far above... or so far below... I couldn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"You were thinking about whether or not this would be a good idea." What he had said before came back to me. "How long have you been contemplating... this?"

"Not long. Right after we hung up with your Dad."

Less than an hour, the time-frame wasn't too bad. Edward didn't need to call Carlisle and Esme repeatedly to give them updates.

I felt frozen inside, but I wasn't cold. The paralysis stemmed from not knowing what to do. Rarely was I this out of my element, in anything.

Situations could be resolved with words, and if talking didn't help, violence did. This wasn't something I could convince Edward not to do. This also wasn't something I could prevent him from doing.

"Here's the other half," he said, as though nothing were wrong.

"Thanks..." I took the cigarette.

"Stay here, or don't... I promise this will be fine."

"Edward," I struggled with myself. I couldn't make myself let go of him. "Could you, maybe, possibly, tell me what you've got planned?"

"I plan on letting another of my... memories die tonight. It's an irrational fear, I want to conquer it."

"Just like that." I borrowed his phrasing from earlier.

"Yup," he half-grinned. "I followed your example."

All of the blood was rushing to my head again.

"Mine?"

"Yeah. You never let anything keep you down. Ever. And you have such a fucking good outlook on life... in comparison, I don't. I'm okay with that, really."

"Okay... but how does that correlate to what you're about to do?"

"Aut vincere, aut mori," he said.

I managed to unfurl myself from around him. It took some effort, but I sat up.

'I could have better timing," Edward admitted. "I didn't know when I'd get another opportunity... thank you, though. I know you're not happy with what's going on."

Taking a deep breath, I managed to smile. Non-serious, I could do this, at least.

"It's all you, babe. Badass _all_ of the time."

I didn't want him to thank me yet. This was a really bad idea no matter how ambivalent I was trying to be. He could really mentally damage himself.

Yet, I had been here. I had done this in different ways. He'd come back here and do this alone if he knew how worried I was.

It's what I would have done... to protect him from any possible ramifications...

Maybe not. I'd want to have Edward around. That was definitely something to think about later.

When had that happened?

I _liked_ knowing he was here for me, no matter how I might need him. The things I had overcome paled in comparison to just one of his stories.

Edward had told me not to downplay my experiences because I thought his were worse. I had saved that text.

He rose and let the new towel he had grabbed fall to the floor. It was entirely inappropriate, but I had to catch my breath.

His face was nearly expressionless. His eyes weren't vicious, all I could see was determination. With his shoulders squared, arms above his head, hands holding the shower door at the top... he was perfection. Every muscle was pronounced with each last-minute thought.

He inhaled slowly.

"I'll be fine," he said. "I promise."

Which of us was he promising?

I was stuck to the floor. This was what resolve looked like. The way he was standing right now.

Still staring at the water; blue and green, the reflection cast across his face made the color so much more vivid. His scars faded as the heat made his skin flush.

Climbing over the side of the bathtub, Edward immediately stretched out and submerged himself underwater.

I couldnt remember moving, yet the cold porcelain at my side didn't lie. Bubbles rose to the surface.

Leaning over the edge might freak him out. If Edward opened his eyes, surprised, not expecting to see me; it'd be like drowning all over again if he swallowed water.

Waiting... waiting...

I wouldn't break his concentration by touching him. That could come later. He needed to do this unaided.

Much as I wished for Edward to accept what his life had become, this was one of the steps.

How long could he hold his breath?

More bubbles rose, I chewed on my lip.

Finally! Finally!

Droplets of water splashed onto me as Edward shook his head. He wiped his face and let out another deep breath.

"I knew it'd be fine," he said.

Still wiping water out of his face, he looked at me through trails of moisture left from his wet hair.

"C'mon in. You got the perfect temperature."

"Now that the, er, experiment's done, mind filling in the blanks?" I took Edward's hand and let him help me into the tub. He was right, the water was great. Instant relaxation, bath's had always worked that way.

"It was one of those moments that settle, you know what I mean? Enough time has passed that what I remember has no emotion attached. It has no meaning anymore. I remembered when I took a shower earlier. And being in this shower didn't bother me."

"So, being you, again... you had to conquer it."

"Face your fears, right?"

Instead of sitting on the opposite side of him, I chose to rest my back against his chest. His skin was even smoother underwater.

"There's a difference between throwing the closet door open to face amplified childhood fears, and facing... what you have."

"Not really," he protested. "Both can be overcome with enough willpower."

"And you call _me_ optimistic?"

"I do," he replied. "You are, I mean. After what we talked about before, I knew doing this would be okay."

"I'm, um... glad for you?"

"If you can rationalize your way through a divorce with nothing but books... I could last a few seconds underwater."

"I really don't think-"

"Good plan," he reached around my waist and held me close. "Don't think. Too much of it, my head's going to hurt..."

"Ok." There was so much that I had filed away to think about some other time. I was okay with taking his advice.

He anchored me to him so that I didn't slip down into the tub.

"I want you," he said near my neck.

Three words. I felt renewed lust burning through my veins. I wouldn't have thought it possible an hour ago.

"I'll change things up, I swear," he looked around the bathroom. "The places we find don't leave much room for imagination."

I was grateful for the non-slip things on the bottom of the tub. It would make this so much easier.

"Whoa, hang on a second," he put his hand over my wrist. I had opened one of the shower doors.

I knew what he wanted. Cradling my head on his shoulder, I pulled his hair as I lowered his mouth over mine. His arms were hard as the steel door I held. He was so warm in comparison, I inched back until I couldn't anymore.

I breathed him in, let him ease the remnants of my worry. Never again, I'd never doubt him if he were that sure of success.

Almost being drowned by his stepfather... he was over it. Easy.

Apparently so, yes.

It made me worry about what other, worse, memories took first place in his mind. If this wasn't bad... what was? How far down did it really go?

We weren't there.

"Help me?" I asked him. "I'm still reeling."

"I'd never endanger you," he said against my lips. "When will you believe me?"

"Not in that way, I'm not horror-stricken. Amazed, more along those lines."

His eyebrow twitched, I saw amusement take over.

"Edward." My nails dug into his arms. "Don't do that to me again... my heart shouldn't pound like this... my face is numb..."

"That's because you're high," he laughed.

"No. Well, yes, but... no. I was terrified for you. Not because I didn't think you'd be okay, but... I read! You don't fit the norm, but bad things could have happened! I knew you'd be okay, ... I couldn't help envisioning-"

"Bella, breathe. Breathe, babe."

I wrapped my hand on the outside of his and raised it to my throat. My pulse slowed down slowly. He stroked my throat soothingly.

"I'm sorry for-"

"No, that's not what I meant. Don't be sorry. Just... next time, fill me in as you're thinking about it. What if I had done that to you?"

He thought for a moment, snorted.

"Point proven," he said, grudgingly. "You handled yourself better than I would have."

"So, um, next time-"

"I'll fill you in, completely, every step of the way."

I rolled my head back and forth along his shoulder. Wood paneling around the bottom half of the room's walls gave the room a masculine feel. Edward looked really good here, and in the bedroom...

Halloween.

Trick or treat.

I laughed.

"You're insane and I _love _you for it," I told him. His eyes were pure lust. He channeled the energy I gave him. Nipping him, I snarled low in my throat.

"See the sink?"

"Yes..." This wasn't helping my feeling of surreality, but the warmth spreading through me was all-encompassing.

"Can you reach it?"

It all made sense.

"You say you're not imaginative," I scoffed.

I could see us in the mirror. He was so much larger than me. I hadn't realized by how much until now. My heels usually gave me five inches, at least. Since I wore nothing but high-heeled shoes and boots, Edward was usually only a little taller. He didn't have to bend so far over to...

This position was perfect. I braced against the sink and smiled. He moved his fingers over my hipbones. I squirmed, moaned when I felt him nudging against me. Moving his right hand lower, over my stomach, to the smooth expanse of skin over my public bone-

"I'm good," I moaned again when he stroked over a really good spot. "I'm all here."

"You sure?"

I felt him touch my back. Down along my spine, up again. I moved my hps when he used his nails.

"Yes."

He knew how to drive me insane within the space of a few seconds.

Dangerous information.

Thinking about all of the ways he had made me scream was enough to make me shudder. Arousal bordering on pain, all the times I was alone and couldn't have him.

"Yyeess..."

He slid into me, eased the throbbing in my body. He groaned low in his throat at the same time I spoke.

"You're going to break my record," he said.

I smiled at him over my shoulder.

"Yup, that's my underhanded motive. It'll be impressive."

Laughing, crying out, I got a better hold on the sink. He wasn't slamming into me, but it was rougher than what we had done in bed. I loved all of it.

The way he held my shoulder and brought me backwards onto him. Not needing to hold my hip with his other hand helping to give me two ways to orgasm.

Looking into the mirror again, I was seconds away from shattering. Edward could be so fucking _primal_, yet it was now that I felt the safest. When he was seconds away from losing control, taking me with him... safe.

He was mine. All of him. Good and in between, injured or not, plotting or relaxed. I saw my face flush. His arm and stomach tensed as I leaned further over the sink.

Edward threw his head back. I felt him move deeper within me. Moving two of his fingers over my clit, he hit the same spot as before. My eyes closed as climax rose, spread. Restlessness and craving.

I pressed my palms flat on the cold marble and pushed back into him.

That's all it took.

I arched my back, hung my head down between my arms. Edward left his hand linger for a moment before moving up to my breast. He pressed against my g-spot at the same time. I clenched my muscles in time to the fading spasms just because I loved watching what it did to him.

Pleasure rose ag ain; I was panting, breathless.

"Edward..."

Feeling him holding me was the only thing keeping me in touch with reality. So much happiness, sharing in his victory, celebrating the best holiday with someone else who appreciated it so deeply...

Everything we had done since Edward rode in on a black horse- all of our time had been spent having or wanting sex. My body remembered, so sensitive to his every touch.

His eyes rolled back, a shiver ran down his arms. He cracked his neck, the lighting enhanced the black ink over his skin as his head turned to the side. Primal in more than one way. Much more passionate than anyone gave him credit for.

Ink and piercings, he wasn't afraid of pain. He wasn't afraid of inflicting a little pain, either. And Edward knew he didn't need to ask. I didn't feel him hesitate anymore. When he wanted me, or if I wanted him... whether it was against a wall or a door, the lockers, overlooking the cliffs on the Res- I knew he'd never say no.

Itching, craving- he got a better grip on my shoulder and rolled his hips with each thrust. Dissolving.

He leaned over me, his chest to my back. I had no strength, no energy to scream. My body spoke for itself. Boring down on him, I rode it out.

Unbearable pleasure.

Hazy. Happy. So very happy.

He brushed my hair out of the way as he bent me over again. Pulling out, I felt warmth, like fire, spilling across my back.

Edward was breathing hard, I knew he had to be light-headed.

He reached around me for the toilet paper. Safety first? I hadn't understood why Edward pulled out or decided to use a condom considering I was on birth control.

What was the point, right?

But I continued taking the pills because on the rare occasion that Edward lost control, it was nice to know there was added protection. And I knew that it made him feel better.

He used a washcloth once my back had been wiped clean.

I sank back into the water, sighing in contentment. Edward turned the hot water on before settling in behind me again.

Completely over it.

It still dredged up feelings of... wow, but he had proven it could be done.

"Not moving. Good plan," I smiled.

"Mmhmm," he agreed.

Bending one knee, he put his arm on the tub's border. The other leg he kept flat so that I could sit between his thighs.

"Are you comfortable that way?" It didn't look very comfortable. I would have slid down, he managed to prop himself up, which kept me from falling.

"The tile's cold," he shrugged. "You're warm. It doesn't bother me."

When I cushioned myself into the new space he had created... I knew.

"I want to get an apartment with you. In Forks, though, if that doesn't cut into any of your planning?"

"It's about fucking time," he said without thinking first.

I laughed.

"Yeah," he ran a hand over his face. "I could have phrased that a little better."

"It's okay. Honesty is cool, I can handle the truth."

"Did you decide that just now?" He looked stunned now that he had gotten what he hoped for. In a good way, I loved that Edward wasn't smug.

"It clicked into place just now," I replied. "All the ways you... after everything... we'll make it work. Somehow."

"Call me a selfish bastard, but I'm not going to argue with you. Really high or not, you just said yes. Staying in Forks is fine." He reached over me to turn the hot water off.

"Good. I wasn't sure where you were looking. At apartments, you know?"

"Um...," he cleared his throat.

"You found one already?"

"How do you feel about a house?"

What?

A what?

"... a house...?"

"Well, not a _house_. There's no picket fence or anything. It's a one bedroom place... someone I know through, er, some charity..."

"A house?"

We couldn't afford a house! Fifty grand, it made me feel slightly nauseous... up keeping an entire place of our own, the money would be gone in a matter of months. If we were lucky.

"Stop picturing _our_ houses. Think rustic. Cabin. Cozy."

"See, I'd been thinking 'studio.' Maybe more spacious than most knowing you, but... a fucking hou- cabin, Edward?"

"I asked around for curiosity's sake only."

"From the wealthiest people you know, right?"

"No. Well, ... only in Washington."

"Oh. So long as it's only Washington... yeah, that's okay."

"Are you pissed?"

He thought I was mad because I leaned over the side for my Newports?

"I'm not, not even mad. Just... it's a lot to process after the realization I just had. I mean, I was still thinking small steps. Setting roundabout figures of how much we'd spend per month, maybe per year. Then finding a place that fit within our budget, going to see them..."

He accepted a cigarette. We smoked in silence for a little while.

"Research, emergency plans, I can understand those," I said.

My thoughts were racing.

Inside, however, I had already decided. With Edward's way of thinking- going for all instead of a fraction- I shouldn't have expected any less.

"Are you mad?" I had to ask.

"Nope. Waiting for your questions," he said, carefully. "

"No thinking, right? No details until... some other time. Answer me three things? Not including spin-off questions."

"Sure."

"We won't have to pay rent, will we? You're entirely too calm. And if money's not included, that would explain a lot."

"Not entirely. We'll have to pay a little... and I've got to maintain the place. If they want to vacation here, they use the guest house- really _small_ thing... and-"

Speaking quickly or not, had I heard the words...

"... there's a guest _house_? Not a room?"

"It's tiny. Barely noticeable. It's more like a shack."

"These... people are willing to use the guest shack on their own property while we live in the... what, main house?"

"They like me," he shrugged.

"Aside from the bedroom," I had to get through my questions. He was right. "How many other rooms are there?"

He exhaled smoke away from me. "No details, remember?"

"I didn't ask what each room was for," I pointed out.

He grinned, acquiescing. "Four."

"Jesus. How much rent do we pay? Do we have to contribute toward the mortgage? What about-"

"Do you think I'd saddle us with actually keeping house? You're thinking about it way too seriously. It's a place to live, that's all. Like an apartment, but... not."

"Right, because our place has it's own land."

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, it does. We pay for any electric we use, hot water and trash was included. We pay three hundred in rent per month, but that's only because of, um, the garage and the fact that I planned on using it. So, really, I'm paying three hundred a month so I can keep both my bike and my car."

"Wow." I couldn't hide my smile, I tried really hard though. It was too good to be true, I couldn't trust it yet. Not this soon.

How- and when had he- were these people inhumanely rich? What constituted a cabin to the wealthy? A place like the Cullens, maybe? I didn't know what 'cabins' Edward had inhabited.

Maybe a very small mansion-like place was a cabin to him.

"I stuck to what I knew you'd want, too. It was selfish reasoning, really. I don't want to trip over people in an apartment. Being noise regulated, charged for damage... I figured you'd want pets. It's better having real space of our own."

"Damage," I laughed. "Point for that, I can't argue what we've done to places."

"And... it's close to both of our parents homes, equal distance from two colleges, a university's not that far away. The couple are both smokers, and yes, I mean _smokers_. We'd never find an apartment that'd be okay with the way we smoke. Fucked up world," he added.

"Its nearly legal in California. They sell weed in smoke shops."

That's all I could think of to say. He had put a _lot _of thought into... everything.

"You want to live in California?"

"... no..."

"Sorry," he snorted. "Whoops."

"Last question," I said. "Can I see this place tomorrow?"

"If you want to. I don't have the keys yet..."

Keys. Keys to a cabin in the woods near to anything, and including all the things I could have hoped for.

"Why do you love me so much? It's dangerous, Edward. We're going to live together? In a... cabin... after we graduate? That's less than seven months away. I don't want to... hurt you. Not with plans like this, you don't think it'd be wise to wait?"

"We don't lie to one another. I won't cheat on you, I've proven that to you, me, already. How would you hurt me? I know you wouldn't go to someone else for sex..."

"Never," I swore.

"Then? You're trying to teach me long-term planning..."

"What? I what?"

"Okay, maybe that was Alice."

"That was _you_, if it were anyone. Remember? You left my house and messaged me something about taking me to the beach, in summer? Like, two months ago."

"Oh," he stared at his cigarette. "Yeah."

"And... I might have said yes, but that wasn't because-"

"There's no noose around my neck," he reassured me. "There's no ring on my finger. My ring finger," he corrected himself. "I'm not proposing. I'm just saying... whether it's a studio, an apartment, a house, what does it matter?"

Proposing. Jesus. The hits just kept on coming. But they weren't painful, just... resounding. So much to think about.

Would I be able to live with him? There were a lot of things about me that he hadn't seen. I had a lot of books, more in Phoenix.

When my stuff was shipped... he was going to see me first thing in the morning, when I hadn't a chance to slip into the bathroom first...

I looked like _hell_ when I got sick. Colds made me look like death. I put a lot of effort into my outfits, the matching of colors and all.

"Planning, yes, then. I guess. I'm sure you think faster than I do. This proves it. How many steps ahead were you?" I asked, still in awe.

"I know more people, that's all. And I know how to word an e-mail really well."

"You downplay so much."

"You're cool with the cabin idea? Nothing's set in stone, you know. I got lucky to begin with. Not literally," he said. "Carlisle helped their niece after I introduced them. I gave them a ride to the hospital once or twice, helped them see her. All those New York bastards, names don't mean anything. Titles do. Always."

"Carlisle Cullen, Premiere Surgeon. His patients get what they want."

"Exactly."

"So they... offered you their country cabin?"

"I made an off-hand joke when they mentioned having one nearby. It caused somewhat of an uproar when Carlisle and Esme said they were moving to the backwoods of Washington. People followed up, tried to get that last favor in."

"Except the people you met, you had helped them prior to the big moving announcement?"

"Sort-of. I mentioned something about senior year and college, having space... I don't remember. They did, the husband wrote back right away when I sent the mass e-mail out."

"How many people did you ask, Edward?"

"Just a few."

"You're... incredible."

"Resourceful."

"Phenomenal, maybe?"

"Just... I don't _do_ this holiday. So consider it an early Valentine's Day present or something. That way, when the day comes and we just... chill. It won't be as though I'm an asshole who didn't get you anything."

"First off, I don't celebrate Valentine's Day either. I never understood showing your love on that one day. Second, you're giving me what essentially amounts to a house, because you don't want to buy a box of chocolate?"

"If you think in terms of long-term investment... the chocolate loses."

"I just meant, I didn't expect you to get me anything."

"Only you," he sighed, exasperated.

"No, not even I'm that low maintenance. I wouldn't have _expected_ it, but I'd hope that Valentine's Day sex would be better than normal."

"Of course," he raised his eyebrow at me. "I've got to top tonight. Aside from Thanksgiving and Christmas, family holidays, that's the next Fuck-all holiday."

"How am I going to top a place to live for your present? And why are we competing?"

"Because we're competitive people. You're a challenge," he grinned. "You just happen to be my girlfriend, too."

"Oh. In that case." I kissed him. "We've sort-of, maybe have a cabin, because you arranged it so that we weren't inconvenienced or paupered and... you want to be a _bouncer_?"

"I'm not running for President. It's a good-paying job, I wouldn't really have to work. You know? Punch a guy, crack someone in the jaw- easy money."

I didn't blink, though I did quirk my eyebrow at him.

"Get the fuck outta here," he laughed. "You're not serious. President?"

"You could..."

"I've no patience for that bullshit," he shook his head. "I don't follow politics, I don't even vote. I've never registered. I don't really care what's happening with the world unless it's headline news. I follow my area, make sure no shit's going down in my part of the neighborhood... other than that?"

"So expand your neighborhood to encompass the country. No one would fuck with the United States," I giggled. "You'd have missiles ready to launch, radar going..."

"I really, really don't want that title. Trust me."

"Ok." It was a nice thought to entertain, but Edward didn't show the slightest bit of interest with the idea.

"Ok? Or, ok... you'll bring this up later?" He smiled at me. "Because you think I actually have a shot? Really?"

"I just wanted you to know how many options you have."

"President," he snorted. "Maybe of a company."

"That's possible, too. You're down to earth, you can be likable when you try. You make friends easily and you know how to not be manipulated. Bullshitting, staying away from double-dealers and back-stabbers, you know all of that already."

"Politics and senators, it's a whole different game."

"At any rate, I guess it's good that you don't have a campaign set. I'd make a terrible partner for you."

"Fuck that," he objected.

"I like tattoos. I want more piercings. Leather, high heels, vivid makeup... I'd be a terrible candidate for, well, anything white-collar."

"How about you get published and I'll make money until you do. Then, once you're a renowned author, I'll kick back and smoke up a lot."

"I'm not that high," I rolled my eyes at him. "No way will you ever get me to agree with that plan."

"Eh," he shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

I traced the tattoo's on his arm.

"Do you draw? I keep meaning to ask, but I always forget."

"Not well," I admitted. "Why?"

"Your tattoo designs," he said. "You picked them out, right? Created them?"

"Yeah, but I didn't draw them. I had someone with artistic talent sketch what I told them I saw in my head."

"We go back to school Wednesday. You've got to have dinner with Charlie tomorrow, right? And stay home?"

"Yep."

"So, how about... Tuesday, you come to the tattoo shop with me in Port Angeles?"

"Are you getting another one?"

"Soon as you help me decide on something for my arm."

Opposite his Alice-girl, there was an expanse of skin over his other arm that was free. Begging to be tattooed.

"I want the tribal to connect with it, though. And I know you like that ink of mine the best... so... yeah."

"I'll have to think about it. I've been wanting one for a really long time, too. Mine tend to take a while to plan, I'll focus on yours first."

"Cool," he nodded. "Just let me know."

"By Tuesday?"

"Whenever."

"Symbolizing what? Anything in particular?"

"You have good taste," he said after a minute. "I trust you."

"Fine. You think about one for me, I'll come up with something for you. Meaningful, I only do meaningful ink."

"Yeah, I know."

This was something I could understand. I'd been thinking of getting a permanent memory for Edward. Not his name, but... he would think of something fantastic, I knew it.

This was so much easier than thinking seven months into the future. Whatever happened, I didn't regret a second of life.

I loved him, I wanted him to be part of me. Literally. Once it was inked into my skin, it would never go away.

Easy decision.

I turned sideways so that the water covered most of me. Resting my head on his chest, I closed my eyes and smiled.

"Bella? Hey, Bella?"

The words were difficult for me to decipher. I was warm and so comfortable.

"I don't want to pick you straight up from the tub. Can you stand?"

I knew Edward wouldn't ask if it weren't important. Falling asleep in the shower hadn't been a good idea. Yet, it really had been, because what little sleep I had gotten... I knew it had been the wake-up-energized kind.

My body felt like jelly. I was still in the recuperation phase. He supported all of my weight as I climbed out of the tub.

I must have blacked out a little, I couldn't remember getting out of the bathroom.

We were on the bed. His arms were around me and I was more comfortable than before. With one of his legs between mine, his arm around my waist, one beneath my head...

He faced the door and pressed against my back at the same time.

All night, most of tomorrow-

We were free.

**Authors End Note:  
**So much for 15,000 words. I'm super pissed. This was all I could remember. I'm sorry, all. I'll get the Netbook back soon and then I'll post the Real chapter. This is just a stand-in. The next Chapter will be so much better, all new creative energy. No re-writing, no re-creating... fuck.

**Authors End Note:  
**I'll go back and add thank you's soon. I was close to finishing them last chapter... but i'm back to using the slow, potential bomb computer, so... yeah.  
Sorry again, hope this chapter hasn't disappointed too many people.


	42. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

**Chapter 42**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2: **  
Court's all done with! I've got to pay a fine by July, and I need to stay off the radar for a year... but that's all easy to do. No worries, I'm back and writing and going after a few people who might have leads on my netbook! If it hasn't been stripped for parts, there's a 70% chance I'll get it back!  
**Authors Note 3: **  
**Cabin-  
**http:/www(dot)loghomefloorplansonline(dot)com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/telluride_logcabinhome(dot)jpg  
**Cabin Guesthouse-  
**http:/t0(dot)gstatic(dot)com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTfhXrg3mUPXdi24eJcQMvcj_I_sC_XJQ8gX2yDlaVVgwdQ_Kli  
**Cabin Inside-  
**http:/imagesus(dot)holiday-rentals(dot)co(dot)uk/mda01/  
**(**I didn't want it to be too... stuffy, or too 'coldly rich' inside. That'd be overwhelming for Bella, you know? So, after lots of searching, I've created a cabin that's luxurious, yet comfortable?**)  
Cabin's Bedroom-**  
http:/lh6(dot)ggpht(dot)com/_9sGk5360YrQ/S4Zjydl-E5I/AAAAAAAAFCI/0k8RZsnv1CY/Wide%20Country%20Bedroom%20Design1(dot)jpg  
**Cabin's Bathroom-**  
http:/imagesus(dot)homeaway(dot)com/vd2/files/WVR/400x300/sf/3071656/288141_1276196506251(dot)jpg  
**Bookstore- (**Not actually in Port Angeles...**)  
**http:/t1(dot)gstatic(dot)com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR_ITXbGKE_1LcSyzMvMbfmQ5gnsHLAOThOmd-0j12lcdZRNw8-Cg

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942?src=5  
**Kiss on the Mouth**- Our Lady Peace  
**Kush- **Dr. Dre  
**Ridin- **Buckcherry  
**You're Gonna Go Far, Kid**- Offspring  
**Livin' It Up- **Kevin Rudolf  
**Baby, Baby**- Corona  
**Safe Home- **Anthrax **(**I love this song**)**  
**  
Edward's Point of View**

Beep-beep-beep-rrriiinnnggg-

My eyes opened. I processed information quickly.

The Res, Bella, go to the Diner. Right. That's why I had set my alarm. It was silent now, but I knew the ringing would start again in a minute. I located the off button on my phone and held it down.

Now I knew silence would prevail.

08:25, the numbers blinked at me as the cell powered down. There was a flashlight and a GPS in my phone, too. Their icons flickered. It was early in the morning for a day off. I usually slept until nine, but with Bella next to me... I really didn't mind.

Not showing at the station would be really bad for us. Any excuses would be lame, Charlie would see right through them.

"I can't believe you wake up to that everyday," Bella muttered, groaning as she used my body to shield herself from the light.

"You have another whole five minutes," I reassured her. "I'll wake you up."

"I _love_ you." She rolled onto her back, but kept one hand on my arm. I lit a cigarette and thought about what we had time to do.

Charlie had asked that I not bring her back any later than five or six in the evening.

Considering that he had let her stay out all night with me, I wanted to pull into the Chief's driveway at four. No need to push- he'd be less likely to agree next time. I respected the guy.

Bella liked that we got along, I could tell. Same as how I was glad that she got along with Carlisle, Esme, and Alice. There were fewer problems this way, everyone getting along.

So far as I knew, Bella hadn't moved once while we slept. She stayed curled against my body. I had woke once or twice, surprised to feel her there.

My dreams tended to be really vivid. And I really liked waking up like this.

When the air was cold, I felt anticipation and excitement in the air. I'd get what I want just because I wanted it, that's the type of day this would be.

What did I want?

i put an arm underneath my pillow. Hard plastic. What the fuck... that wasn't my knife.

Had I fucking fallen asleep without-

Oh. It had fallen between the pillows. Black metal was cushioned near Bella's shoulder, where mine had been earlier. I felt the condom again as I settled back down onto the bed.

She didn't stir when I moved the sheets up.

My defense system didn't work around her, either. She could move around, get up, I wouldn't remember any of it.

But when she had awoken me with a blow job, I had _known_ it was her.

She spread her legs as I applied a small bit of pressure to her inner thighs. Bracing on my forearms, I went directly for her clit.

Soft, barely touching her, I wanted her to wake with me inside of her. I felt her swell beneath my tongue. My eyes closed as I focused all of my attention on her.

She tasted so fucking _great_. It had been surprising, the mango flavored stuff she used had made me pause for a moment. Not what I'd been expecting. It was good, don't get me wrong, but it didn't compare to the taste of her, alone.

I swiped the edge of my piercing along the tip of her clit. Bella reached down, feeling around until she felt me. Her fingers wound into my hair.

Hitching one of her legs around my shoulder, I moved closer to her. My lips, my tongue, all of the piercings, even my teeth- I alternated using them.

"Oh my god... Edward..."

Something about the way she whispered my name, her voice breaking... I felt her orgasm. Not just externally, I honestly _felt_ her orgasm.

Or maybe I was still high from last night.

Either way, the sensation spread up from my stomach, my arms and face tingling. Power, adrenaline... more than that.

I growled as I lifted her hips. She clenched around me, still coming down. I put another of her legs over my shoulder. Bella bent her knees so that I could lay comfortably above her.

She wasn't afraid to ask for more. Softer, harder, rougher, more pain... never less of it.

Fuck!

I should have gotten off before going down on her. Remembering just _one_ of my dreams... this was _not_ going to be... my control was better than- I couldn't even think about it.

Fuck. That. Hard.

Bella arched her back. She moaned, low and happy and satisfied. I tried to slow down, but when she did that thing with her pelvic muscles... letting her body spasm, but clenching around me purposefully so that my cock was constantly stimulated...

... even with the fucking condom on...

I felt her nails running lightly over my back as I came. No white light, I couldn't handle something that intense this early. Not if I wanted to be awake, and coherent, enough to drive.

Still, I was relaxed again, and on the same level from last night. My body ached in a few new places, but I wasn't in any actual pain. It was a good feeling.

"Mmm," she stretched underneath me. "That's _such_ a good way to wake up."

"I'm just happy that you aren't a hitter."

"A hitter?"

"Yeah. Or a stabber. I don't think you'd be happy with simply hitting someone who woke you." I kissed her neck and smiled against her skin. "You're bloodthirsty as fuck, babe."

"Oh," she understood. "You mean instinctive reflexes?"

"Yes," I grinned. "The knife moved from under my pillow."

"Yeah... about that..." she flushed slightly. "I may have moved it during Round... I've no idea."

A shiver ran through her, Bella closed her eyes and made another soft yet happy sound.

"So, let me get this straight." She looked to her left, saw the knife, and giggled. "You worried that I'd stab you, but you not only left it there... you went ahead with your plan?"

"I was a little distracted at the moment." I moved to the side so all of my weight wasn't boring down on her. "Besides, I'd have heard if you flipped it open."

She held the knife in her right hand, in one deft motion she flicked the blade out.

"Jesus, Edward," she laughed again.

"On the other hand..." My sense of humor was twisted, but she could take it. Bella seemed to appreciate my _off_ way of looking at things. "if you had stabbed me because you woke to a fantastic orgasm... and you couldn't control yourself to that degree... it'd be the best scar _ever_."

She flipped it shut, tossed it down lower on the mattress. "I don't know which is worse. That deep down you're serious- or that I can understand and feel the same way."

We had a moment. I'm not sure what she felt, but for me... it was as though nothing could ever go wrong again. Whatever happened, we wouldn't have to take it as seriously because... we could both take care of ourselves. In so many ways.

It was comforting to know, even though I'd never let it happen, that if something were to go wrong as I slept, Bella could handle it on her own.

"I've got to shower. I can't face your Dad reeking of sex, pot, and cigarettes."

"Do you have a change of clothes?" she asked.

"I think Alice threw a pair of jeans and a shirt into your bag. Um... do you- did you- mind?"

"No..." her eyebrow arched. "You're a strange one, Edward Cullen. You ask to borrow space in my bag, but you've no problem, um, you know, touching me."

I snorted. Sure, _I_ was the strange one. She had handcuffed me, performed a strip tease, helped talk me down, fucked me sideways... and she stuttered now that it was daytime?

"You'll be able to pick from two shirts," she said. "After Dad said it was cool for us to visit the Res, I knew everything we wore would scream 'Evidence.' I packed a shirt for you, too..."

"Thanks."

"No problem," Bella shrugged. "You could have always used the one I packed for me. It was yours, you know?"

"Good thing we're shopping a little today."

She smiled to herself, I could see thoughts forming behind her eyes.

And I had to ask.

"What?"

"Shopping," she smiled wider, more secretively. "I'm going to like shopping today, I think. Something about you Cullens, you can make everything seem like a good idea."

I sat on the edge of the bed and groaned. Another cigarette felt like a good idea, but I had been smoking more recently. I didn't need to smoke something during every second of the day.

"Shower," she sighed and wrapped her arms around my back. "What time is it?"

"Five after nine," I consulted my phone. Bella knelt up to peer over my shoulder.

"Still," I took her wrists and interlaced them over my neck. She wrapped her legs around my waist and let me pick her up. "You said 'breakfast' for a reason. It wouldn't bother you if we're late?"

"Yeah, maybe a little," she admitted. "But I didn't want to make it a 'kill yourself to get this done' thing, y'know?"

I picked up her bag on the way to the bathroom. She had packed clothes for me, the least I could do was carry it into the room.

"Edward..."

Turning the water on, it only took a few seconds for the water to warm. I switched it over to the showerhead and stepped inside.

"Edward!" Bella ducked her head against my back.

I started laughing and nearly dropped her. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten into the tub backwards. She slid down my body, made me turn around.

Her hair was wet, she was wiping mascara from her eyes. Glaring at me, yet not really angry, she squeezed a sponge over my head.

"I can't believe you did that!"

"What did I do?" I chuckled. "I wanted you to be warm first."

"Sure you did," she stepped around me.

I handed her the shampoo after I was done with it. She seemed content to hang in the back until I was ready to get out. Being a female, I kept my back to the shower as I towelled off, I knew she'd want to be clean... and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable staring like a perv.

"Mind if I open the door?"

"No, please do," Bella said. "I hate being really hot as I'm drying off. Feels like a wasted shower."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Me too."

For all we knew of one another, small things like this... I realized how much more there was to learn about her. I had seen her use four different kinds of shampoo, never once did she complain or ask me to stock a certain brand.

She didn't bother with blow-drying her hair all of the time. Sometimes, after brushing and combing, she was ready to go.

I focused on my hair as Bella got out and wrapped a towel around her body. She dug through her bag, glanced over at me.

"You can go through anything I own, okay? I've nothing to hide, and nothing embarrassing that I wouldn't want you to see."

I glanced at her in the mirror, grinning because she _always fucking knew_.

She showed me the shirt Alice had packed. White, with two people holding hands, 'Smoke Free' written over their heads... it supported anti-smoking campaigns.

Bella immediately started laughing. She tried to hide it, but a snort escaped. Then she didn't try to hold back anymore.

"Would you have..." she giggled, "worn this?"

"Inside out, maybe. I'd have to wear a sweatshirt all fucking- keep laughing at me..."

She did, but putting the shirt down, I took the black band shirt she handed me.

"Thank you so _very_ fucking much." I'd never been so happy to see the 'In Flames' logo.

"You're very welcome," she smiled. "But before we leave, I want to fix a few things."

I helped her straighten the bathroom. In the other room, she insisted on making the bed. I straightened the frame and put the desk back into place.

"You didn't tell me what time, Jake! Wake up for your coffee!"

The woman's voice could have awoken the dead. Jesus fucking Christ. Bella jumped when she heard pounding at the door. I went still inside.

Crossing over to the door, I threw it open.

"Jaa-"

"What," I asked, "are you doing?"

Leah cleared her throat and blinked at me. Points for me, I hadn't cursed, nor had I growled at her like an animal.

Bella nudged my shoulder, I moved to the side so she could see Leah, too.

"Whoops... sorry again, guys. Jake didn't tell me..."

"Did you say coffee?" Bella asked.

"Um, yeah... Long story, well, not that long, I lost a bet. And this was my penalty."

"He's graduated from 'Truth or Dare,' huh?"

Bella and Leah both laughed.

"Yeah. In a big way. If you want the coffee, go for it. I didn't do anything to it, don't worry."

"Cool," Bella grinned. "Thanks so much."

"No problem. Happy Belated Halloween to you both." Leah waved as she walked away.

"Same to you," I said before closing the door.

Bella moaned. "Ccoofffeee..."

"THat's addiction." I had to smile watching her. The coffee was good, apparently. Her eyes were closed as she savored the caffeine. She handed me the second cup and just by the smell, I knew it wasn't Folgers.

"Mine has milk added to it. If you don't like your coffee black, let me know now."

"I'm good," I told her. Bracing before I took a drink, it _was_ hot, but so, so good. I understood Bella's happiness. Good coffee was difficult to find.

"What is there to say about addiction?" she asked. "So long as it isn't life-ending... and you can function like an intelligent person; why not, more power to it."

"See, I might be able to make things fun... but you can justify everything."

"Good thing I'm on you're side, huh?"

She stood in a patch of sunlight. Wearing light blue jeans with a hole at the knee, they were tight without appearing form-fitting. She wore a black t-shirt with a crimson fairy sitting on a red and shiny ball of flame.

"That's not my shirt," I said.

"Alice again," she replied. "I like it a lot, I'll have to thank her later."

Her red white, and black flannel overshirt, that was mine, somehow made her look even more feminine. She had her hair loose and long, there was only the faintest hint of matching colors over her eyelids.

I set the coffee down and went to stand in front of her. She looked up, not expecting me, but not surprised. I was high, getting higher, and I hadn't smoked yet today.

She tasted like coffee, her lips of Bella. Not mango. I made a sound of appreciation, she exhaled and drew me closer.

"We really should go," she sighed.

"I know." Glancing around one last time, "Everything looks okay?"

"Almost like how we found it."

I opened the door for her. "Alright then."

The drive to the Diner was uneventful. Bella put my Ipod on shuffle and finished her coffee. When we arrived, she took the empty cup with her instead of leaving it in the car.

It wouldn't have mattered, but I held her a little closer when I put my arm around her, just because.

"Do we have time to eat here?" she asked.

"We can. Whatever you want."

I opened the Diner's door for her, knowing that we were going to be scrutinized soon as we got inside. Along with Charlie's friends, the Diner staff, kids from school... did we really want to eat here?

"What are you going to order? It it something you can eat in the car?"

"Sure," I replied.

Bella put Charlie's order in. She asked for a slice of their pie because it had just come out of the oven.

"Do you still have that cooler in your car?" she asked me.

"I think so, yeah."

"Cool," Bella turned back to the waitress. "A medium-sized cup of vanilla ice cream too, please."

"Bagel with bacon and sausage," I said when Addy, the waitress, looked to me. "Plain or sourdough, doesn't matter. Toasted, though. Thanks."

"Anything else?"

"All of those are To-Go orders, did we say that?" Bella glanced in my direction, I shrugged.

"Yup, got it," Addy smiled.

"Awesome. Add a blueberry bagel with cream cheese. Not toasted. Thanks so much."

"Let me go check on the cooler." I had looked over my shoulder only to catch four people hastily averting their eyes. Two couples turned the fuck back around, very subtle of them.

Bella followed me to the door. "I'm chipping in for breakfast."

"It's going to be... twenty dollars," I said doing some quick math. "You're going to fight me over twenty bucks?"

"No, _you're_ fighting _me_ for it. But-" she held one finger up, pointed it at me. "... um..."

"I-"

"When I get to the station," Bella continued, having thought at warp speed, "I can say _we_ bought him breakfast and have it not be a lie."

Fuck.

Her smile widened as I handed her a ten and a five.

"Fine," I acquiesced. I knew how to pick my battles, as always. The rest of the day was mine.

Bella came out as I was Febreezing my jacket and the car.

"Small towns," she shook her head. "People in there were really interested in what we were doing."

"Charming," I snorted.

"Do I smell like flowers?"

"No. Fruit."

"Edward," she chuckled. "Flowers, like the ones you bought me. My first present from you, remember?"

"Oh. Here, take this to be safe. All I can smell is the vanilla Febreeze and bacon."

"Yeah, they loaded your bagel. You're going to love it." She took both of the bagels out and rested them on top of the brown paper bag.

"Hang on," I had an idea. "Don't put everything in the cooler yet. Being in the Volvo will make you hate breakfast after a week, but once we get in, we'll both smell like the Diner."

"Amazing," she smiled.

She took her bagel and closed the passenger side door to keep the food scents locked inside. I watched as she carefully sat on the hood of the car. Her boots didn't have any heel.

And, considering what we had done inside and outside of the vehicle already, I didn't give a shit about scratched paint anymore.

I grabbed my food before going to stand in front of her. She wrapped a leg around mine and pulled me closer. Another perk of her wearing jeans, one of the few... but anything that helped get her legs around my waist was fucking great.

She arched her body and pressed her lips on mine, hard.

"Yeeehawww! Hell yea!"

Jasper's truck pulled up in a cloud of dust. Alice stopped dancing to a country song and waved at us.

"Public indecency, tsk, tsk. Ya'll should be shot."

"Hey, Jas," Bella raised her eyebrow.

"I'd take the bullet for you," he tipped his hat at her. "Apologies, Isabella."

"I hate that name," she groused. "You're lucky you've got cowboy in your blood."

"Did you guys eat already?" Alice accepted Jasper's hand and daintily stepped off the pickup's ledge.

Bella held up her bagel.

'That's your breakfast," Alice said dubiously.

"It's blueberry," Bella replied, confused.

I cleared my throat when Alice slowly turned her head to look at me.

"We're getting a huge lunch," I said. I could have sounded a little more sure, but I couldn't be fast _all_ of the time.

"Yeah," Bella added. "Gluttonous, we're going to sin with lunch. I'll go up at least two pants sizes. And speaking of clothes, I _love_ this shirt!"

The two of them paired off to talk.

"What are you guys up to today?" I asked Jasper.

"Not sure yet. I was hungry, we didn't have much for food. Here we are. I'm sure Alice'll think of somethin'."

"She knows everything there is to do in Washington," I smiled.

"Yeah, I gathered that," Jasper chuckled. "Hot springs, dude ranches, fishin' spots, though she won't actually fish. Know of anywhere she likes in particular?"

"Port Angeles' shopping district." I felt I should help him out. Strong men had crumbled under Alice's store-to-store sprees. "Watch where you park, you'll be there all day if you go. Make sure you eat a lot now... She's unstoppable."

"Thanks," he smiled again and looked at Alice. "Sounds like a plan."

"Hey..." I wasn't sure how to put this. "Alice is good when it comes to, y'know, buying her own stuff."

"That's not a problem." His eyes hardened the slightest bit. I nodded at him and he relaxed when I lit a cigarette.

"Just making sure, man. I don't want to besmirch the family name. The Cullens take care of their own."

"So do the Whitlocks," Jasper said. "Thanks for the rundown, but she's taken care of, alright?"

"I've got nothing else to say on the matter. Point taken," I grinned at him.

Nice to know he understood the value of money. Difference was, he had worked hard to get his. I bled for mine, it was a little different.

Still, the bottom line was all that mattered. Alice didn't need me as much anymore. She had never been reliant on me, I knew she could easily have made her own way.

Loyalty, love, Alice truly thought of me as her brother, just as I considered her my real sister. When she stole to keep us fed, I paid her back by making sure, whenever I had money, that she was taken care of.

And, much as I trusted Jasper, I liked knowing she had cash of her own. Plenty of it. We shared a bank account, though we both had separate ones in our names.

"What're ya'll gettin' into?"

"Port Angeles, too. There's a bookstore I want Bella to see, we'll probably hit a cafe after that. Not sure what else there's time for, but if you guys are in the city... text her or me, you know? We can meet up for... something."

Was this me? Had I really just-

"Yeah, sure. I bet they'd love that." We both watched as Alice and Bella laughed about something.

That was why. Alice and Bella, the two most important people in my life. Aside from Carlisle and Esme, there weren't very many others I cared about let alone... loved.

What the fuck... so much had changed.

Bella moved away from Alice, they were saying goodbye.

"Yeah, I'm fucking cold, dude. I'll catch you later, maybe."

Bella waved as she opened the passenger side door. "Enjoy your breakfast, guys."

I started the engine when both doors closed. Jasper leaned down and said something near Alice's ear. She faced him, a huge smile spread across her face.

"Good surprise for Alice?" Bella asked.

"Jasper's going to take her shopping."

"Yes!" She laughed, "That'll make her _year_!"

Bella's phone beeped intermittently over the next few minutes. I assumed she was talking to Alice via text message. Or Jake, thanking him for the use of his guest room. Rosalie, maybe?

She laughed, "Alice saw her first bat last night."

"Oh Jesus."

"No, she took it really well. No freaking out, she didn't even scream."

"Tell her I said that I'm really fucking impressed."

Bella smiled as the keys clicked.

"'Hahaha, nerves of steel! 'roar!'" She relayed the message to me.

The car smelled like the Diner now. It would be really gross after a few days, but... that's what car washes were for. Five dollars to get the Volvo clean, inside and out. I knew they'd take care not to scratch the paint or skimp because I tipped them all with ten's.

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" I asked as we pulled up to the Police Station.

"If you want to."

"Would it save time if I didn't?"

"Maybe?"

"Cool. I'll stay then while you go let him know you're alive and well, with breakfast."

And, while she was inside, I could use the downtime to check on things with the cabin.

I found Dale's name in my phone's contact list. He would be up by now, I had spoken with him a few days ago.

"Edward! Hello! How are things with you?"

"Pretty good, thanks. I was just wondering, would you mind if I stopped by the cabin? Bella's with me and we were looking for something to do... I'd like to show her around-"

"Yeah, yeah, no problem! The keys are on their way, I sent them out this morning."

"I appreciate that," I said, lagging in things to say.

"I don't know if we'll make it out to Washington this year, but I'll tell you if our plans change."

"Of course. Thanks again, you know? I-."

"You helped save Alex," Dale said. "The least we can do is rent our cabin to you, especially because we've very little vacationing time as it is... hey, call me if there are any problems, okay? Let us know when you're moving in, if you decide to."

"No problem," I replied. He sounded busy, as though something needed his attention.

"Tell Carlisle and Esme that we say hi, and bye."

"I will. Thanks again."

The keys were potentially here already. If he had sent them above standard shipping, which I assumed he did, they could be in my mailbox right now.

Flipping through my Ipod, I finished what was left of my breakfast bagel. It had been about ten minutes. I saw Bella kiss an older man on the cheek as he opened the door for her.

She looked happy, I took that as a good sign. It was something we both had in common. There wasn't a lot we needed to be happy.

Hell, so long as I had money, cigarettes, food, a place to live, and pot... fuck the rest. Bella's list was shorter than mine.

She had told me once that there was always somewhere to live, if one knew where to look. I knew what that meant, but it continued to bother me, the extent to her street knowledge.

Marijuana was higher on her list of priorities because that's how she had made the money for things we needed.

"Charlie says hello, and that you should come inside next time. He promises not to shoot you."

I had to laugh. "What about tasing?"

"No violent threats, he likes you now."

Her Father, the Police Chief of Forks, Washington, who knew about what I had done... liked me.

Weird feeling.

"Good, I think he's cool. I like him, too."

"I know," Bella smiled.

"So..." I asked, "do you want to see the cabin now or later?"

The topic didn't worry me. As we had established last night, we weren't making any definite plans yet. I wanted Bella to see the options, though. Because if she didn't like the cabin, I had two other people I could call for home rentals in Forks, Washington.

With a population of just over three thousand, guest homes and cabins for rent in a lot of places not more than half an hour away, I was sure we could find _something_.

"It's nearby?"

"Closer to us now than it would be from Port Angeles," I said calculating distance, "though we can always pass by on the way back."

"Now's cool," Bella said around a mouthful of bagel. "I've been wondering about it, anyway."

I activated the car's GPS. The one on my phone I used in emergency situations only. It was slow, sometimes it tried to lead me down one-way streets...

"These people are willing to use the guest house on their own property," Bella laughed. "That must have been one hell of a favor."

"They live in New York... they come here, maybe, once a year to get away from the city. Carlisle and Esme became good friends with them. It was more of a 'family' favor, know what I mean?"

"Oh. That's a little different, I mean, if these people are like... 'aunt' and 'uncle' material, it's different than borrowing a house from potential strangers."

"Was that one of your concerns?" I asked.

"A minor one," she agreed. "I mean, we'd be _living_ in their _house_. Doing the things we do... all of the things we do... like smoke... even though you said they _smoke_."

"Dale smokes," I clarified. "The husband. He doesn't smoke _up _anymore, but he did get high with me once. Right before their niece went into surgery, he kept pacing the halls, said he had a problem with anxiety. So... I offered a remedy and, outside, in his car, we shared a joint while he calmed the fuck down."

"How the _hell_ did you manage to-"

"The guy was practically shaking. He was sweating through his designer Italian suit, twitchy as fuck... I was going outside to smoke up and, honestly, I didn't have to hint more than twice."

I assumed anyone working hardcore with Nasdaq had anxiety problems. Twitchy, probably, all of them. The fancy expensive pills Dale had gotten from his Doctor had nothing on pot.

Four puffs later, he had laughed, relaxed, and started talking. Jesus Christ, he talked my ear off more than any girl ever could. He reminisced about high school, smoking up in computer lab after class. About Sally Jonas, a woman he had been attracted to. She had been on the swim team, and apparently looked really good in her swimsuit.

He told me that I was a good kid. And he went on and on about how grateful he and Janie were to me for helping gain Carlisle's attention when it came to their niece, Alex. How they had been on waiting lists for weeks, with other affluent people outranking them, to see top-rank surgeons.

"I thought you said they were both _smokers_?"

"They are. They're chainers, the walls are probably yellow with nicotene."

We pulled up to the place, but I was watching Bella more than the scenery.

"It _is_ a cabin!" Bella exclaimed. "A wood cabin?"

"I _told you_ it wasn't exactly a house."

"You gave me the impression that it was less... rustic and more... possibly... Mansion."

I turned the Volvo off. We both got out of the car. Wind blew leaves across the low stone steps. Two stories high, the guest house was made out of the same stone, a gray slate roof overhanging the shiny wooden planks.

The real-estate broker had done a nice job finding the place for Dale and Janie. There would be flowers growing once spring came around. In window boxes underneath the guesthouse windows, in the grass surrounding all of the cabin.

Bella went to look in through the windows. The ones attached to the cabin itself reminded me of the large glass panes Esme had chosen for our home. They weren't as big, nor did they stretch from floor to ceiling, but I knew the room inside would be airy and bright.

So, I went over to the guesthouse door and... first thing I planned to do was replace the locks. Anyone who had a lock-picking kit would be able to get through to the inside. I had never needed the kit. Nor had I ever painted by numbers.

"Want to see the inside?" I called to Bella who was peering through the front, side window.

"They left it open?" she shook her head. "Fucking Forks."

"Open enough," I grinned. "C'mon, you can't tell anything from the inside."

"Yeah..." Bella stepped through the door. "I can see that."

I had taken a quick look around before, but I did what Bella had done. Looking through the windows, I just needed to make sure it wasn't so... rustic inside. When I saw televisions and empty power outlets, I had left.

The guesthouse had an entertainment center and a mini-kitchen that doubled as a bar. All of the furniture was done in browns, two chairs on the right side wall, the couch, even the back of the television was done with wooden panelling.

There were three doors, one led to a bedroom, another a bathroom- with a jacuzzi- and the third was empty, maybe they planned on making it a study?

A door led to the main part of the cabin...

"Wow." I was really, really impressed. I couldn't see the kitchen from the outside. It was a surprise to me that the kitchen was so large. Stove, dishwasher, microwave, blender, a fucking espresso machine... Nasdaq, right. Caffeine was important to them, it seemed.

It was larger inside, I would have never guessed there would be so much space inside.

The room wasn't darkly furnished like the guesthouse. The walls were white, finely painted. Furniture was upholstered in gray, dark gray, chairs in the room were black with silverish colored seats.

A bar was immediately to my right, the couch and another entertainment station was in front of us. Bella ran her hand along the back of the sofa. Six throw pillows, all differently designed, sat along it's cushions.

If we didn't want to eat at the bar counter, a table had been arranged, three chairs situated around it. Stairs led upstairs, which, I assumed, held the bedroom.

"Appearances are deceiving," Bella remarked, staring around the room in disbelief.

"What do you think so far?"

"I... don't know. It's incredible! Is that a _plasma_ television? Here? And look at the appliances! What do these people _do?_"

"They work with the stock exchange... thing. Dale tried to explain, but the whole thing seemed unnecessarily complicated. Figures that stood for different figures, tracking charts..." I tried to remember what he told me. "Words like 'exponential growth' and 'diversification,' were thrown around. I've no clue. I was high as fuck."

"Too bad I'm no good with numbers," she sighed. "All of this could be-"

"... yours one day?"

I had been looking through the cabinets. There were dishes, silverware, even damn cookie sheets and fancy serving ware. Empty vases were on shelves near the door, just in case Bella felt like gathering flowers?

She grinned and lowered her eyes to study the floor.

"All of this is great, but if the bedroom sucks..."

"Upstairs?" she suggested.

I followed her up the staircase, she only hesitated for a moment before turning the curved knob of a heavy and carved wooden door. There were three more along a corridor that stretched to a balcony area, overlooking the bottom floor.

"It's... pretty," Bella laughed.

Painted in a light reddish color, like... raspberries? The carpeting, comforter, and ceiling were done in snow white. It made the room bright, not sinister at all despite the red walls.

The ceiling sloped downward in the far right corner, there was a nook-type space where two light blue chairs sat, a small table between them.

A closet was to my left, a bureau, too. There was a television propped on a set of drawers in front of the bed. Lots of space, again.

"If we moved the chairs out, we could fit a stereo there, and the end table from my room," I suggested.

"We would be able to redecorate?"

"Yes... did you think we'd-" I stopped speaking abruptly. "I apologize."

"What for?"

"I've been calling people, getting details... but I overlooked actually _telling_ you about all of them."

"What else is there?" she asked.

"Yeah, um, before we get into all of that- what do you think? Do you like it here? Is this a place you could, you know, live in?"

"That's really an option?" She wandered around the bedroom, touching the comforter almost in a daze.

"He sent the keys out this morning," I replied.

"_Look_ at this place," she laughed suddenly. "We could live _here_, together? Alone? Just us?"

"If you like it-"

"I really, really do." She walked over to the chairs and looked out through the window behind them. "It makes me nervous, though. I can't lie to you. Aren't you nervous at all?"

"Not anymore," I replied with no doubt.

All of my nerves had faded upon seeing how excited she looked downstairs. They evaporated completely knowing that she could see us living here, doing the whole domestic thing. The idea would have flipped me the fuck out not more than a few months ago.

"We could move in... next week, essentially," she said, not as dazed anymore.

"Did you want to, so soon?"

"No, but... we could." She sat down on one of the chairs, hands on her knees. "I'm sorry, it's just... a lot to take in. I mean, I'm sitting on- what, one of our chairs?"

"If you want it to stay," I grinned.

"That would be our bed? We have two plasma televisions? A bar? This is our place?" She took several deep breaths, laughing intermittently as she looked around. "We can move our own stuff into... how long is this ours?"

"For as long as we want it. I figure a year, maybe two, if you want to stay... we can keep this place here, even if we travel or something, I'll ask Dale and Janie if we can buy it from them. I'm sure they won't be surprised by the offer."

"You've thought that far ahead, huh?"

"Just now," I admitted. "The only thing I figured, for sure, was that we'd be here for a year."

"Three thousand, six hundred a year," she said. "For this place. It's unbelievable."

"Networking, turns out I have a knack for it."

Bella smiled at me. "For helping people, you mean?"

I scoffed, couldn't help it. "If you want to see it that way, sure."

"You got Carlisle and Esme to look at a little girl. At least I assume she was young."

"Eleven."

"What was wrong with her?"

"There was a tumor on her spine. It was growing. In another few months, she would have been partially paralyzed."

"And Carlisle was able to remove it?"

"With the help of several specialized surgeons, the best hospital staff in New York... yes, the procedure was successful."

"You're uncomfortable," she said, the look in her eyes something I'd never seen before.

"She was a cute kid. Brave, you know? The type more worried about her parents than what was happening to her. They gave her so many drugs, because the pain was... really bad sometimes."

"And you helped her."

"Carlisle helped her."

"Because you asked him for the favor?"

"Bella-"

"Never mind," she came over and hugged me. "I understand, though. And I think you're amazing."

"Do you have more than books in Phoenix? Any furniture or anything you'd want shipped over?"

it bothered me that she didn't have what was hers. She lived here, considered Forks a home, yet the only belongings she had were from her childhood, or what she had taken in two suitcases from Arizona.

"I've got a few things in storage," she replied. "They're safe there, no worries."

Good.

I knew Bella was practical. Before selling drugs, I worried that she had sold everything first in order to help her mother. Then, after the money had gone from her sales, she turned to other, illegal, methods.

"You know... not that I'm combining our money, or that I think of your cash as mine, but... together, we have about... Edward, we have nearly eighty-five thousand dollars..."

"Add fifty grand to that," I said.

She blinked at me. "Beg your pardon?"

"Favors I've yet to call in from New York."

"... what?"

"I told you this before," I pulled her close and put her hands on my back. Bella had looked cold, shocked, but her fingers weren't icy. "When I did things in New York, I managed to gain a lot of favors. If I call them in, I could get another fifty thousand either brought or transferred to Washington."

"After all this time?"

"Yes. I call periodically to make sure they remember me, and that they remember what I did to people who tried to deny that they owed me money."

"That's... a _lot_ of cash," she said, taking purposefully deep breaths.

"I had a lot of time to accumulate it," I grinned. "See? Saving really does pay off in the end."

"Obviously."

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah," she nodded. "I'm fine. I'm good. I just need a minute or two because... see, part of me wondered if your, um, contacts in New York would be reliable. I never took I.O.U's because people I associated with, if they didn't have the money then, they wouldn't later down the line, you know?"

"Right, but I dealt with associations, not single people. I only let the good-faith promise stand because they put a substantial payment down, and carting over one hundred thousand dollars around in a backpack didn't seem like a great idea."

"One hundred thousand dollars," she echoed. "No wonder you aren't concerned about money."

"No, no," I protested. "I'm _very_ concerned about money. That's why I went to such lengths to guarantee that I had backup cash for my backup cash."

"You know I'd love you either way, right?"

"Yes, Bella. You've made that abundantly clear. Will you relax a little about it now that you know I've got plenty? Or do you want me to have it sent-"

"You don't need to do that," she said abruptly. "But, even so... you do understand that I need to feel as though we're equal partners, right?"

I pulled back a little so I could see her face, her eyes. She looked serious.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"What do you think I'm saying?" she asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Are you planning, somehow, to come up with an amount to equal mine?"

"No..." her eyebrow quirked. "That would be nearly impossible. I was lucky to make five hundred a week, let alone save up enough on the level you did."

"Okay then," I relaxed.

"Even if I accepted Jake's offer, which I'm not thinking of doing, I'd make, what, twenty dollars a person? Two hundred people would only equal four thousand dollars. Forks has a population of one thousand, one hundred and thirty-seven according to it's sign. A quarter of them already buy from the Res, another quarter would never think of smoking pot." She snorted quietly, "I'm not okay with selling to children, so... no. Safe to say, I'm not thinking of trying to match your one hundred grand."

"And you say you're not good at math."

"I am when it comes to cash in my hand," she grinned.

"Isn't everyone?"

Without heels on, she had to lean against my chest in order to kiss me. It was a good one, slow and sweet and all things Bella.

"Thank you," she said, words full of deeper meaning.

"No need to thank me," I protested. "Besides, I do consider you an equal partner. You can pay half of rent, like you wanted to. And we'll split bills if you want..."

"Yeah, I wanted to talk about that with you while we eat."

"Okay. Feel like anything in particular?"

"Not especially," she shook her head. "Mind if we walk back through the cabin one more time?"

"We can come here anytime we want now. It's, technically, our place."

A thought occured to me, I wondered why I hadn't considered asking before. It could have been a huge deal.

"Are you sure you're not upset that you didn't help find the cabin? I mean, it's a girl thing... at least for Esme and Alice... if I sprang something like this on them without letting them pick for themselves-"

"I couldn't have found something this nice. Besides, regardless of who found it, we'll both be living here. Sharing space, and... are you sure _you're_ ready for this?"

"I am. Are you?"

Bella took my hand as we walked out of the bedroom. She left the door open, which was something I had never seen her do before. I took that as a good sign.

"Yes," she said firmly. "I think I am. It's about time, I mean, sneaking around for another year... we're still close to our parents, the place is definitely affordable thanks to your amazing planning, and... I don't see why we can't make this work."

"We'll need to have the water turned on, electricity too," I made a mental note. "I'm actually glad we didn't stop by on the way back, we wouldn't have been able to see very much."

"Do you know if Alice and Jasper are planning to move in together?"

"She hasn't said anything about it. Just that she might be going to Texas for the summer."

"Yeah," Bella said. "We're invited to go along with them."

"Jasper mentioned that."

"Would you want to?" I asked.

"Why not?" We didn't have any plans for summer as of yet. "We can explore or whatever while they bond, do whatever they have to do together."

"If she plans on moving there with him?"

"We'll have to set aside travel funds," I shrugged. "We've all done plenty of moving around. If she wants to settle down with him on a ranch in Texas... that's her decision to make."

Summer was six months away. I didn't see Alice living in Texas, but... I'd been proven wrong by her before.

"Oh my _god_." Bella's nails dug into my arm.

I stared past the door she had opened, toward the direction she was looking in.

"Fuck... me." I laughed when I saw the bathroom. All modern, there was a shower and a hot-tub. Everything gleamed, there were four different kinds of towels.

"I can't believe this. Really. This bathroom's just..."

"Not an outhouse," I chuckled.

"I _love_ you so very fucking much!"

After what we had done in the bathroom last night, it was no wonder that this room had sparked Bella's true feelings. I could see at least five places that would change sex up for us.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. My body rocked back and forth once or twice before i went with it.

"You're amazing," she laughed. "Wonderful, stupendous... there aren't enough words!"

"Wow," I grinned. "High praise from you."

After hugging me for a few more seconds, I carefully led her out of the bathroom and down the stairs. I had felt her stomach rumble against mine.

Definitely time for food.

I knew a bagel for breakfast, after all of the calories we had burned, wouldn't be enough to sustain her for long. She hadn't taken that into consideration.

"Where to now?" she asked as I slid into the Volvo.

I started the engine after closing my door. It took me a moment to think about her question.

"Soup and sub-sandwiches for lunch sound okay to you?"

"Yes," she smiled.

Glancing back at the cabin, I was smiling too. It was well designed. Modern inside without detracting from the nice country feel from the outside, I loved that they had equipped the living room with an entertainment system.

We didn't have many neighbors around us. So long as didn't rock the foundation with my stereo system, I figured we'd be okay.

The ride into Port Angeles seemed to fly by. I only had one cigarette. By the time we reached the city's outskirts, Bella was just chucking hers out of the window.

Her eyes brightened when I pulled into the bookstore's parking lot. It was a cool place, I had been here a few times before. Both bookstore and cafe, the family owned a bakery further down the street.

That's where I had wanted Alice to take her after they were done costume shopping.

Because _I_ wanted to take her here.

We put our orders in first because I knew it would be a while before the food was ready. She kept getting distracted by the different categories of books.

I liked that the bookstore wasn't part of a chain. Shelves of books lined all of the walls. There were more in the back, stacks of them, but they had left room open in the front for the cafe.

Bella ordered French Onion soup and a ham sandwich with provolone, and I got Beef Barley with turkey.

I loved watching Bella around books. It seemed as though she were... absorbing them. The love written on her expression told her love for familiar titles.

It didn't upset me that it was similar to the one she wore while looking at me.

She savored the food. It did taste really, really good. Hunger bothered me, I didn't like the feeling. More time was spent with my punching bag, though not recently... I'd need to start working out again soon.

"Do you mind if I calculate a few figures?" she asked, phone already in hand.

"Nope, feel free."

I had done them already, but I was curious to see whether her total matched mine.

"Okay... so, say we spend fifty a week on cigarettes. Two thousand and four hundred a year."

"Nope, that one doesn't count. We're friends with Jacob. He lives on a Reservation, you know? Where the hell have you been buying cigarettes?"

"Oh..." Bella flushed. "I didn't think... I was a kid when I lived here, okay? Smoking wasn't a habit of mine back then."

"The Thriftway? They're seven dollars there! Jesus!"

"And on the Res?" She winced slightly, waiting for the answer.

"I can get a carton for thirty, three for seventy."

"A month's worth of cigarettes for seventy dollars," she sighed. "Well, I won't have to bribe Ms. Maggie to get them for me anymore."

"Okay... so... eight hundred and forty a year. With the phone bills, um, hang on," she typed numbers into her phone's calculator, "we're at two thousand four hundred."

"How much is your car insurance?"

"Almost three hundred," I admitted. "_After _help from a friend that worked for the company."

They had originally wanted six hundred a month because of my criminal record. With careful negotiating and a certain under exaggeration of the crimes I'd committed, I got them down to two hundred and ninety-seven.

"Okay, mine's a little short of one hundred. Which is... two thousand, four hundred. So, we're already slightly over five grand."

"Five hundred per month for randomness, three hundred for rent, one-forty each month for food."

"About twenty three thousand a year," she said finally.

"We have one hundred and thirty five. Five years."

She put a hand on top of the three books she had piled on the table.

"Five years of relative security," she sighed. "Is it really possible? Really?"

Her phone clicked shut as she focused on her sandwich.

"That's why I love money," I said. "It can buy happiness if you've got enough of it."

"It's how I first got your attention," Bella agreed. "A dollar for a cigarette, I think."

"No way. The handcuff bracelet you wore on your wrist. That's how all of this started."

"And now..." She trailed off, I wasn't sure if it were a question or a statement.

"We're getting tattoos tomorrow," I said.

"Permanence and memory. I love ink."

"Me too." I gathered our trays and brought them back up to the counter.

Grabbing a basket from the row next to the register, I turned to Bella and smiled. She was holding the five books now, it had been less than three minutes.

"Feel like celebrating?" I asked.

Last time I had been in her room, I saw how very lacking her collection was. When I found a list of books, I assume it pertained to the ones she had on Phoenix, or some she wanted to buy. So, I had 'borrowed' it.

Amazon was going to love me more than they already did.

And, after reading the list... not saying I was intimidated, but... I had a lot to catch up on.

I let her pay.

There wasn't really a choice in the matter. Bella had insisted, and she had looked so fucking happy about it... and when she brought up the cabin, what I had managed to do...

- - . - -

Three hundred dollars later.

She wasn't buying _anything_ for the next few months. Nothing. Certainly not cigarettes from the fucking Thriftway. It made me cringe to know I had gotten a carton for the price she paid for four packs.

And, I was pretty sure, a few more customers for Jake would procure us some free cigarettes. Bella was good at saving money.

Equal, definitely.

Cutting an eight hundred and forty dollar expense, very helpful.

If I hadn't been used to this with Alice, it would have taken us two trips to the car. I wasn't sure about Amazon's love for me anymore. We had taken a good portion of the list out.

Bella had smiled to herself when she looked at the books in our basket. Yeah, she had known. It was another reason she should pay, she told me. The only excuse that hadn't helped her win.

"Oh man," she glanced at her phone. "It's almost two! Where did the time go?"

"Driving," I said. "Half an hour to your Dad's, forty from there to the cabin, half an hour to the city."

"Which should have been more like an hour," Bella raised her eyebrow at me.

"No traffic," I smirked.

My cell started buzzing. Alice was calling me.

"Hey! Didn't want to intrude on your date, but... I can see you. Want us to come over?"

"Where are you?"

"Store two buildings down and across the street. Third window from the right."

I located her as she stopped speaking.

"Alice and Jasper want to meet up," I said.

"Where are they?"

I laughed and relayed Alice's information. Bella saw her, smiled brightly, and made a broad-gestured wave.

"Stay there, we'll come to you," I told her.

"Okay! Cool!" I could see her bouncing up and down, excited, as we walked over. "Bye!"

After we browsed through a few of Port Angeles' stores, Jasper and Alice went to get food. Bella let me pay, though she didn't buy very much.

Jasper and I had talked outside of the dressing rooms while Alice tried on a few dresses and Bella... well, she had found a leather skirt.

Much as I wanted to take her into the fitting room and show her how much I liked it, the stores were all way too crowded.

We walked back to my car, clouds covering the sky. The store windows were illuminated, panes of comforting light as the sky darkened.

It wasn't eerie, though. Just... comforting, in a way. Living a normal life, dating my girlfriend, eating and shopping and planning for the future.

"Feels like a dream, huh?" Bella asked, echoing my thoughts.

"A dream," I grinned. "Sort-of, yeah."

"Want ice-cream?"

"Uh, sure?"

"I know I've got to eat dinner soon, but I keep forgetting to buy ice-cream at the Thriftway. And... over there," she nodded to an Old-Time Parlour, "i bet they have gummy bears."

"... gummy bears?"

"Yeah, for on top of a sundae," she nodded. "You've never done that before?"

"Candy on ice-cream?"

"You and Alice never... you've got to share the awesomeness with her!"

"When you're over next," I agreed. "I'm not dealing with that sugar high by myself."

"Hi," Bella smiled at David, the guy behind the counter. "Can I get a medium sundae, half strawberry, half chocolate brownie?"

The ice-cream scoops sat in steaming water. It wasn't long before the cup was full.

"And add... gummy bears, reese's pieces, and caramel sauce on top? Wait, hang on a second?" She turned to me, "Do you like all of those things? Want to share with me?"

"Sure," I nodded.

"Okay, cool," she smiled at David. "With whipped cream, the real kind, and cherries on top, too?"

"Do you want a lid or are ya'll eating here?"

He had the slightest hint of an accent. It wasn't Southern, though, just... backwoods Washington.

"Whatever you want," I shrugged at Bella.

"Here, then," she said. "That way we won't mess up your car."

"Two spoons?"

"Yes, please."

"Cool. The total's going to be five ninety-two."

I slid a ten across the counter and _dared_ her to argue with me about it. She smiled, took a step back, and inclined her head, a short bow.

Taking her waist, I pulled her in next to me. After getting my change, she bumped purposefully into my side, sort-of like a dance move, her hip touched mine.

"That, in your hand, is a heart attack waiting to happen."

"Not a heart attack," she grinned. "You might get heart palpitations, but no cardiac arrest."

The sundae looked, well, it looked sort-of disgusting. Pink with pieces of candy that were dying part of the strawberry ice-cream orange, chocolate mingling with whipped cream and cherries...

"You first," she offered.

... and fuck, it was really, really fucking good.

"See, because the peanut butter's healthy, strawberry is fruit, whipped cream- heavy dairy..."

"And the rest?" I laughed.

"Fun?"

It didn't take long for us to take the sundae out.

"So, um, I'm thinking about telling Dad tonight."

"About the cabin?"

"Yeah. Sorry," she said around a spoonful of strawberry and gummy bears. "Again, tapping into your knowledge of people... do you think he'll take the news well?"

"I'm not sure," I replied. "He's your Dad, you know?"

"What if he wants me to wait?" she asked carefully.

"Then... if, after we both sit down with him, maybe show him the cabin... if he still wants you to stay home for another year..."

"You'll move in and I'll come visit you there?"

"No," I snorted. "I wouldn't live there without you. That's jump-starting."

"But... what'll happen to it, then?"

"It'll wait there for another year, that's all. Unless, by then, you want to get out of Washington, in which case I'll put a call in to a few more friends."

"Nothing ever worries you, does it?"

"So long as no one's coming after us, we're not in danger, and there's not anyone threatening us... there really isn't anything to worry about."

"What about the future?"

"What about it?" I asked. "We're living it, planning it. Long-term plans we'll keep, short term plans we'll do, and each day we get through brings us closer to where we want to be. Why worry?"

"I never thought about it like that before," she smiled and chewed on a leftover brownie piece.

"it's too overwhelming otherwise, always catching up instead of being ahead."

"Exactly," she agreed. "Thank you. I'm not worried anymore. Besides, with both of us trying to convince him at the same time... we've got to succeed, right?"

"Hopefully."

"Um, if my parents don't agree..."

"I'll have a sit down with them, too," Bella replied. "Maybe we could call a family meeting?"

"Get Alice involved," I nodded. "She'll help, I know it."

Opening the door for Bella, I was surprised by how dark it was. Not even three-thirty and the sun was already rapidly sinking.

Port Angeles could get a little shady at night. At least the town restricted their law breaking for nightfall. Winter in Forks, they got three more hours of crime time.

New York had been open season all the time.

The four guys eyeing Bella and I from the street corner should know better, but I didn't think they did. I let my New York face show.

They weren't a threat to us. Not really. I could easily beat the four of them down. They had no real muscle, and If they had ingested some alcohol, better for me.

I really didn't mind beating the shit out of a few abusive drunks.

Deadly, cold, I looked at them and let my expression show that I could kill them. I saw one of them nod in my direction to gain his friend's attention. They paused what they were doing, one after the other.

I didn't look away. Maintaining eye-contact with the one in the middle, I knew he was the one they followed.

Yes, I told him nonverbally, I'll fucking murder you. And laugh when I'm through.

Leaning back against the brick wall, he rubbed his nose. The danger passed. If they were going to make a move, he would have by now.

Then again, if we went up the block and doubled back. I could take the four of them out, teach them a lesson about hurting women. Then maybe they'd think twice before targeting one again.

But not today.

I would be back tomorrow sometime. If I could catch them alone... it wouldn't be hard to get the four sleazy womanizers alone. They had probably left a yellow brick trail for me to follow.

After saying good night, checking in to say hi and bye to Charlie, and heading home... I realized that Bella had said yes. She and I had made plans for what life would hold when we had the cabin to ourselves.

Bella said she was going to be telling Charlie tonight. Which meant tomorrow, I'd be able to let Carlisle and Esme know.

I wasn't sure what their reaction was going to be. Alice would be excited, though I wanted to talk with her tonight. Carlisle would be pleased, Esme... I really didn't want her to cry.

Hopefully, with Alice's help, we'd be able to amuse her away from tears.

**Authors End Note:  
**More progression! I'm not done with it yet, there are still a few layers to peel away. Approaching the three-quarter mark of the story. Forty two chapters already, and part of forty three. I can't believe it's been a year. ^_^

**Authors End Note 2:  
Janshanr- **  
Thank you for all of your reviews! I love hearing from you, thanks for supporting 'Handcuff'!

I've no idea who the yearbook winners will be. Definitely not Jess or Lauren, haha.

**Joypop-  
**Hahaha, don't die! =D, I am glad you like the story so much, though!

**Kitasky123-  
**Hey, Kit! I hope all has been going well with you, school, life! Thanks for checking in, I've missed you!

**Ohmystarzzzzz, Life Starts Forever, Minnakoda, latuacantante4him, iknots, TraceyJ, Jbquinn, bearygirl, Meadowgirl552, secamimom, TwiSagaLover, Angel04une, Valleegrl, LastRedAppleStanding, malia81167, DreamingDane, Anniebme, Ccaajjaa-  
**Thank you, everyone! Again, I apologize for not being able to write back to all of your reviews! I am grateful to you for taking the time to leave me comments.

**I'm random girl-  
**Thank you! High compliments from you, I love them! ^_^. I'm so happy that you can 'see' what I write. I'm also really excited that you like the music. =D.

I think Edward left Jasper out of the mix because, a: He's sort of a loner, you know? b: He's Alice's boyfriend and I don't think he wanted her to worry about them both. c: because I have a plot twist later on for Jas, hehe.  
Thank you so much for rec'ing the story! ^_^. You're amazing!

**Bikergirl08-  
**I'm not sick, no worries. Just been really busy, 'sigh. Thanks for being concerned, I won't give up on this story. No need to worry about that.

**Fliberty-  
**Hi! Yay, I like Esme too. I haven't really developed her character very much, not like I have Charlie. Carlisle, even, could use some work. I want him to be not as 'stuffy' in future chapters. Not sure how to accomplish that though...

I think Alice is good for Bella, too. She's fun, if difficult to write. I searched for so long, I couldn't find any pictures where Robert Pattinson _kinda_ looked like Zorro. =/. That was the best I could do. If you know of any, link them? Hehe, yay pictures!

**Bookfreaklover-  
**Sorry, I've been trying to update at least once every other week. Sort-of a drop from the once a week posting, but the chapters are longer and I'm lacking in computer time. =/. Thanks for sticking with me/it!

**Heavyinfinity-  
**Hey! Thanks! Hehe, lapdance, mmmm. =P

**VAVikingGirl-  
**Howdy! Long Beach isn't bad, I like the area well enough. Thinking about relocating to Venice Beach or L.A sometime in the next few months. Better job opps, etc. And, shh, but I have yet to hit the beach. Haha.

**MyEdwardJacob-  
**I think he thought about, but I'm not sure if he talked to Bella about what happened on the Res. I know it meant a lot to him, possibly something he couldn't put into words at the time. I'll have to go back and check that, thanks!

**AmeliaCullen1-  
**Yay! I'm glad you liked the chapter! Yup, character progression! I try, but its getting more difficult because they tend to leap and bound rather than steadily get closer. 'sigh, happy sigh

**Jansails-  
**Yeah, I've been working on that. I had the feeling that there weren't enough lemons in the story, and Halloween was the perfect chance to get some, hopefully, good ones in.  
Between this chapter and the last, I tried to add some emotional bonding too.

**Dazzleglo-  
**The costumes seemed to work for everyone, for which I'm thankful. It was difficult narrowing them down. I wanted them to match, but not be too 'cute.'  
Thanks for letting me know you liked Alice and Bella time. That section took a while to write, I didn't want pointless conversation to bore people. =D

**Christykq-  
**Hello again! Hehe, I'm very happy you liked the 'Zorro' idea so much! Updating fast as I can, promise!

**Karen4honor-  
**Hhhhiii! Squee!  
Gym class made me happy to write. That was an easy Scene, I wanted Edward to take care of her without fighting, for once.  
The dress Bella wore has been on my 'To Buy' list Forever. It's gorgeous and I loves it, haha, and one day... it will be mine, too.

**ColorMeChaotic132-  
**Yea, NJ! I used to live in Union County. Does hearing 'Jersey? Like Jersey Shore' annoy the fuck out of you, too? I get that question all the time out here in Cali, arrrgh!

**Phoebelicious-  
**Phoebe, wow. Wow. You're incredible! Thank you so, so much for all of your amazing reviews!

So happy you liked their intro scene and Bella and Edward as characters.

Phil is a creepy bastard, haha.

I'm also really, really happy that so many people have loved Charlie. He's a lot of fun to write, and I'm hoping that I've kept him 'parental' enough where no one will start dismissing him as a... too laid-back father-figure. Not sure where to draw the line, you know?

You listened to the Playlist? Yay! Good or bad reaction?

Hahaha, 'crackes through the computer screen,' thank you! James is also a creepy bastard.

Mmm, Bella saying 'girlfriend' was a huge confirmational point. Where it's known that they _are_ together, you know? Made me happy for them, ^_^.

I hate repeating scenes, but so many of Edward's memories are skewed. They're too emotional or clinical, not a lot of facts are given. But with Carlisle's access to medical files, and Esme's expertise as a doctor... I try to throw other information, unheard of before, for each repeated section. No boredom, yay! =P

**Sexxi Bexxie xx-  
**In later Chapters. I kept trying to find a way to work them in, but aside from small mentions here or there... they hadn't gotten to the point where I could use them until around Chapter... 40, I believe.

**Cat5050-  
**Thanks for your honesty, haha. Glad I could help change your opinion! And wow, your comment about the Gym Scene... O.O, thank you!  
Tyler will probably be back at some point. Revenge on Lauren and her crew, too, but not sure when...

**Cheshirekat516-  
**It actually wasn't that bad. I love that I missed winter, Jersey kept getting hit with blizzards, I heard. 'wince. Tattoos are addictive as hell. I love them, and getting them, so much!  
I'm glad you liked the sites, and were able to find things to buy! I want to help change the whole Emo culture that's taken over!

**TwilightMomofTwo-  
**Thank you! You can recommend the fic anywhere you want! No need to ask, I'm amazed by how helpful people have been with getting my story out there. Thank you again! =D!

**Defininginsanity-  
**Cool screenname! Glad you're caught up and that the story kept you reading! Thank you so much for your compliments, =D.

**Authors End Note 3:  
**The rest of my 'thank you's' have to wait until the next chapter. Roommate will be home soon and I want to get it posted!


	43. Say You'll Haunt Me

**Chapter 43**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**I really, really struggled with part of this chapter. In the cabin, EPOV, Bella mentioned being 'equal partners' and Edward became serious, like her, and asked "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" ... I hadn't meant it to take on deeper meaning, but I keep having the nagging thought that it Should.  
So, I'm going to try to work that in here... somehow, but I don't want anyone to get Really excited and... you'll see. I'm confused.

**Authors Note 3:  
Bella's Tattoo- **  
http:/i853(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/ab91/SoulReaper616/blade2(dot)jpg?t=1297825204**  
(**Such a pain in the ASS. Scrapblog didn't want to work, Photobucket wasn't being cooperative, and so, like Bella, I had to use Paint to upload the completed thing onto Photobucket. Eff. I wanted the switchblade to be the darkest, the skulls not so large, but with no cool Toolbar of awesome to play with... this is it, guys.**)**

**Edward's Tattoo- **  
http:/www(dot)deviantart(dot)com/print/12753096/  
Except with a handcuff bracelet on her right wrist, that dangles down over her bodice... and a book in her other arm. I LOVE it, love, love, love, love all of this artist's work.  
I didn't want the tattoo to be all about sex, because anyone who sees it (especially with it on his arm) will know its for Bella. So, being that his parents and Charlie are around, and because Edward's grown as a person, he doesn't have his ink be all about sex and grunge, etc.

**Playlist  
**http:/listen(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942?src=5  
**Hand in My Pocket- **Alanis Morrisette  
**Living In A Dream- **Finger Eleven**  
I Think I'm Paranoid- **Garbage  
**Money Honey- **Lady Gaga  
**Take It Out On Me- **Bullet For My Valentine  
**Say You'll Haunt Me- **Stone Sour

**Bella's Point of View**

I made dinner while Dad showered and changed from work. Hot dogs with two types of macaroni salad, relish, sauerkraut, mustard, I had chili warming on the stove.

Inside I was jumpy. Alone for the first time since Edward and I had talked... so much talking and planning... I had been bombarded with so many thoughts, I was just... emotionally confused.

"Hey," I smiled as Charlie walked into the kitchen. Dressed down in a pair of jeans, a Forks P.D t-shirt, I liked that he had shaved this morning. It meant that he had gotten sleep and hadn't been called out of bed to deal with emergencies.

"I was surprised to see you home so early," he went to the fridge for a can of Pepsi.

"Dinner at five, I needed prep time to make it," I smiled. "Besides, I've missed Dad-daughter time."

He glanced at me with partial cop eyes, a defensive mechanism that Renee had helped ingraine. When he realized I meant what I'd said, his gaze softened the slightest bit.

We both had problems accepting compliments, but, together, we were working on accepting honesty based in love. When Charlie would gesture his way through telling me he liked having me around, I probably stared at him in the same way he had looked at me.

Wanting to believe it, but not having the nerve to turn it into a conversation, things were peaceful at home, nevertheless. I knew he loved me and he knew I loved him. Lately, though, it felt like we were growing closer as Father and Daughter. We hugged, and the last time hadn't been awkward at all.

"If you don't mind watching the chili for about fifteen minutes, I'm going to shower, too."

The heavy moment faded as we inched back into normal routine. Charlie's eyes were still happy, and I was still smiling; we were making progress...

"Going out later?" he asked.

"Nope. But we were in Port Angeles earlier, something about being in cities makes me want to shower."

"Uh, yeah, I'll watch the food." He looked wary again and I didn't know why. "Bells... that's a recent thing, huh? You weren't like that when you were here."

"Because it's clean in Forks," I elaborated. "No smog, congestion, dumpsters and trash bags on the streets... I'm not obsessive-compulsive, no worries."

"Yeah," he waved me away. "Whatever the hell that means."

Alone in my room, the happiness faded as rationality took over.

The cabin Edward had found was in the woods. Dad and I were closer, I didn't know what his reaction was going to be after I told him my plan.

Would we become distant again?

I grabbed clothes and tried to stop the onslaught of questions I was about to ask myself. After closing the bathroom door behind me, I couldn't help remembering the Res and it's shower-bathtub. The bathroom in the cabin...

Turning the knob for hot and cold water, I waited a few minutes while struggling for control. I stepped into the shower, closed the doors, and let the water beat down onto my face.

Okay.

The induced feeling of suffocation helped me find focus. As I blinked water out of my eyes, I breathed. And _breathed_.

Calm. Almost.

The fact that we had a place, together, that Edward had managed to find, effortlessly... I had seen it first hand. It wasn't a dream. The figures didn't lie, either. We could afford it.

Well, Edward could afford it.

But he agreed that I would be equal when it came to future finances, so... because I knew it made him happy, and because there wasn't really any other option if we wanted to keep the cabin, I had accepted that he would need to contribute more than I would be able to.

If I thought, for one fucking second, that Edward wanted me to prove I loved him and not his money... I would have gone to Phoenix for a month. By the time I got back, I'd have the fucking cash to match his.

He didn't, though. It would have honestly hurt him if I turned down his offer of the cabin, our tentative future together, because I didn't want to accept money from him. It would be the opposite of what I had been trying to do in the first place, not wedge barriers between us over cash.

And I knew he would _flip_ the _fuck out_ if he so much as heard 'Phoenix' and 'make money' in the same sentence. Just as I'd handcuff him to something if I heard 'New York' and 'gang' and 'money' in the same sentence with travel plans from him.

He had managed to save _a lot_. I wish I'd been a little more careful with my money. It made me sick to think of all the cash I had left 'lying around' the house to help with rent, bills, food, living...

Thousands and thousands, and to know that some of it had gone to pay for Phil's beer, his extra training... After I had left enough for an entire month's rent- it had been a really good week for me- they had still been short when it was due...

I had been wearing boots that could talk to me. The soles separated from their lining, their laces were knotted and couldn't be unlaced. Every dollar I made after we had gotten the Final Warning eviction letter had gone to rent.

We barely scraped by for the month, the next month. By then I had hustled enough to get more than twenty regular junkies. I had taken a major pay cut thanks to all of the competition, but I hadn't attracted any major attention.

Too many regulars, I'd be considered a threat to the real drug slingers. Twenty, even, was pushing it a little... junkies liked to talk, and I wasn't willing to give twenty more the same deal.

Not when compared to men tracking me down, shoving a gun into my temple... no way. My profit was much higher when it came to new, single-serve customers.

By the time I had most of Rosalie's gang buying from me, I was done caring about Renee and Phil. If she was content to eat Saltine's with peanut butter for dinner to help Phil buy a new baseball hat, name brand of course... she was on her own.

I'd enjoy my hamburger and apple pie from McDonald's while hanging with people who could help me eventually eat in an actual restaurant.

Now, here I was, a measly twenty-five grand in my bank account... which had seemed like a lot more back then, when I had risked freedom to save even that much...

Edward had _gangs_ at his disposal. If I went to New York and asked around a little, I'm sure I'd hear stories about... whatever name Edward had chosen for himself. From the memories he had shared, I knew he had built reputation for himself in the city.

I wouldn't actually _do_ that, but it was staggering to know I was probably right. Curiosity aside, I wasn't willing to be held for ransom, tortured, or forced to work for anyone because of possible outstanding hostility.

He had taken the spotlight and created a nice base of operation for himself. I did my best to stay off center stage. People might know of me when I walked down the street, but they wouldn't know me, personally. I didn't doubt that anyone who knew Edward had dealt with him, one on one.

He and I had done things very differently. And while he had more responsibility than I could comprehend, he had been physically capable of making money in a way that would have definitely killed me.

If I tried engaging in underground street fighting, they'd carry me out of there in pieces. Beating and getting beaten for survival was one thing. Attacking and nearly dying for survival and sport, that was a whole different game.

Drug dealing was about the only thing I had been willing to do. The only way to make serious money in the business was by taking a risk, having it pay off, and then taking a few more risks until your reputation was stable.

I had only ascended a few rungs on that ladder. If I truly hadn't cared about Renee, the future I wanted for myself... I would have been a lot wealthier.

And, I admitted to myself... the first time I broke another hundred per week... I shouldn't have gone shopping. Making fifty, one hundred, one fifty, two hundred... each new milestone I passed per week... I had taken a portion to celebrate.

Rose and I would hit the town. Alcohol, pot, music, sometimes the movies, we would eat well and love life before it was time to get through another month.

Just as I had grown accustomed to making five hundred a week, Christmas had arrived. My bank account had nine thousand in it, filed under 'inheritance' thanks to Rosalie's 'grandmother' passing away... I worked more when I got back to Phoenix not knowing when I'd be able to leave.

Eight months later, here I was...

I groaned and felt it resound in my... everywhere. Fucking shopping! God _damn_ it! Twenty-five, how the fuck did I think that would help?

I'd have three times that if I hadn't been Good Daughter Bella. And Spent-it-all, there's-always-more Bella. I knelt in the tub and let the water beat down on my back.

Rationally thinking, the clothes I had bought on said rare shopping sprees... without them, I wouldn't have caught Edward's attention in as big of a way.

Edward had noticed my clothes, accessories, and ink first, he admitted it to me over the phone one night. The combination of those three things had made him want to see my face. Apparently, it was rare his intrigue took him that far when it came to women. The thought made me smile.

Yup, that was my boyfriend.

So, if I hadn't done financially irresponsible things... but, the most expensive of them had been...

I really did love my tattoos. They were worth every dollar. Edward had 'known' most of the guys that did his ink.

Knowing the Res sold cigarettes, that i had spent infinite cartons worth at the Thriftway, when I knew the fucking gang leader on the Indian Reservation... and would get them free from today on because of it...

Fuck. Me.

Just... fuck.

I washed my hair, anger helping the calm spread.

Fuck.

Whatever. I had learned from the mortifying blunder. If I wanted something, the first thing I would do was check my phone's contact list. Or Edward's. I'd double fucking check all of our references for deals before turning to the Internet for more.

Out of twenty-five grand a year that it cost to live every year, I had helped shave nine hundred dollars, rounding up. ... yay me...

I had seen Edward's lips twitch as he tried to reassure me that it was a helpful financial cut. Even I had acknowledged the humor.

That's what made it okay, honestly. Edward, for all of his intensity when it came to cash, having literally bled for it... that he could look at me, amused, with the prospect of spending all of it- and planning five years into the future with me- he really wanted to do this.

I did, too.

It's not as though we wouldn't accumulate more once we moved in. I wasn't going to laze around and live from our bank accounts without trying to restock them. Edward wouldn't be content to live that way for long, either, though I did expect him to take a month or two to finally fucking relax.

We were both resourceful people, all else aside. Active, too, and we knew the value of money. Therefore, now that future was relatively secure, we wouldn't risk the next five years because we had become accustomed to laziness.

We had a cabin that we could live _well_ in for five whole fucking _years_.

... what the fuck... really? ... really?

If we scrimped, went cheap, we could probably make the money stretch for eight or nine years. Edward would be miserable, I don't think he would make it a few days before exploding. But, even so, I liked knowing it were possible.

Five years.

A few months ago, I would have laughed at the thought of me being in a relationship. I wasn't only happy about thinking of living with Edward, but I was going to work with him to secure another five...

Wow.

Toweling off, I got dressed in record time. Wearing another pair of jeans, a tank top of mine with one of Edward's button-up shirts over it... I liked wearing his clothes. I missed him when he wasn't around.

It wasn't a tearing, 'I need to be with him now' feeling, thank fuck, but... he was comfortable. I didn't feel any loss of self with him. He worked with my strengths and helped me overcome my weaknesses.

The only thing I had been afraid of was... "what if this doesn't work?" That question. After the conversation Edward and I had in the ice-cream parlor, I realized that I didn't need to worry about that anymore.

We were both mature people. And we had a lot riding on our relationship. Once our futures were in the balance, after all we had managed to attain for life now, neither of us would risk having nothing again.

He would take care of me, I would take care of him. If anything happened, life would go on, as it always did. At least we would have planned for that day, on the off chance things went that way.

Nothing was certain, we both knew it. Far too well in Edward's case. We were prepared and would be capable of handling ourselves through the Worst Case Scenario in any situation. That's really all that mattered.

Now that I was in a good place, I'd fight tooth and nail to stay. Nothing would be too much, I wouldn't turn the opportunity away because I didn't want my boyfriend, who loved me for all of me, to spend the money to help _us_.

I set the table while Charlie brought food over to the table. Comfortable silence, I felt myself relax now that I knew we'd be talking instead of having him hold an interrogation.

He waited until we sat down. I saw his Pondering face and knew the subject would be something other than school, grades, the weather...

"You've been spending a lot of time with Edward," he said.

"I have," I agreed.

"A lot of alone time. Like last night when you and he stayed on the Reservation."

"Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about that... see, you know how I feel about Halloween. It's my favorite holiday."

"I remember," he nodded warily.

"And... Edward knew, too. So, he wanted to have alone time for us because he... he and I," I corrected immediately, "were discussing the fact that we had been looking at, um... places to live."

"Looking at what?"

Okay, maybe I _had_ mumbled and gibbered through the last few words.

"Places to live. Together. You know... us... as a couple. In Forks, though! And I did think about you and how much you've helped me." I took a deep breath to stop myself from gibbering again. "You know I love living with you here and that I love this house, Forks itself... and if you want me to stay around longer, I have no problem doing that... just, the place is beautiful and-"

"Hey, hey, Bells," he waved his hand at me and helped me stop speaking. "One thing at a time. You're thinking of moving out?"

Surprise, but he wasn't surprised as he could have been.

"Yes..."

"So there are definite plans now? I remember hearing the conversation ya'll had about living together. It's real now?"

Real.

"It could be," I replied.

"Bells... it's far past the point where I can tell you what to do with your life." Charlie took a bite of his hot dog and spooned some chili onto the bun. "But, as your Dad-"

"Your opinion matters to me, you know that." I finished the broccoli in my salad before moving onto the lettuce.

"Yeah," he said gruffly, hiding emotion. "I know."

I had figured this talk would lead to some revelations, but I didn't think it would cause him to look like Mid-Divorce Dad.

"I'm sorry," I said suddenly. "Relationship... it's all new... I didn't mean to make you-"

"No, no," he made a 'stop that' gesture. "You're a good kid, you know I know that. I've had some time to think about your situation and... you're a teenager, not a kid. What happened with your mother, these last few months, I've seen a change in you. A good one, mind you. Don't get all flustered and talk a mile a minute again."

"No problem?" I was still battling guilt. He was complimenting me and staying rational. I hadn't expected either of those things to happen.

"You haven't talked about Phoenix at all, still," he said, hinting again. "But that aside, I see you making rational decisions, taking care of yourself better than when you first came here. I know that Edward helps with that, he takes you out, gets you to eat. You're socializing and making friends... I wouldn't want to take that away from you."

"But..." What did he want to take?

"I've been in a situation similar to yours," he continued. "And, well, you know how that ended."

"Yes, I remember..."

"You're like I am," he met my eyes squarely, pride deep in their depths. "You'll do what you want to do and you'll make it work... but, Bella, unexpected things happen. I don't want to see you make a mistake you'll regret in the future."

"I do everything I can to keep from making mistakes I'll regret."

He nodded shortly at the seriousness to my voice and expression.

"But... I don't want you to get mad, okay?" I let the sentence hang so that he knew I wasn't done with my explanation yet.

He looked at me over relish, mustard, and sauerkraut.

"Okay..."

"Edward and I aren't getting married. At least not yet," I said hurriedly as his eyes narrowed. "I mean, if we can't live together... it's better to find out before Edward thinks of getting to one knee, right?"

"What about school?" he asked, getting the point of the conversation.

"I'm still thinking about going," I replied. "Just because we're thinking of living together doesn't mean that the rest of my future plans are being put on hold."

"You're thinking about going? What about, you _are_ going?"

"Dad, we talked about this before," I said rationally. "All of the schools I applied to were in Phoenix. And while I've sent out applications around here, it'll be Late Registration or Winter before I actually start."

"You _have_ applied to colleges and universities in Washington?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I'm sorry, I thought I told you."

"You did, but when I didn't see any of those large envelope things in the mail, I wondered if you had put that off."

"Nope. Have you seen any smaller envelopes?"

"I haven't," he said, scoffing. "You won't get any of those. What college wouldn't want you?"

"Thanks for the optimism, Dad."

"Well, why wouldn't they? You get good grades, you work really hard. You're a good student, all of your records reflect that. What university wouldn't jump to get you onboard?"

"We'll find out, I guess."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. Charlie was thinking, I was focusing on my food. Now that my salad was done, I took some of the chili and loaded a hot dog.

"So what's this place that Edward found? Is it in town? Are the Cullens renting you a few rooms?"

"No, it's a rental from a friend of their family's. Right off the main highway, if you drive down one of those dirt paths for a while, there's a cabin about three miles in."

"A cabin?" His eyebrows rose as he stared at me. "Would you two be renting a floor in this... cabin?"

"Um, no... we'd be renting the entire thing..."

"Bells," he sighed. "I really don't think the two of you are thinking things through. Do you know how much it costs to keep a place like that? The rent for an entire place... have you thought about gas to get to and from this place?"

"Yes, Dad... I-"

"Your car insurance, cell phone bill, credit cards? What about emergencies?" He looked at me sharply. "Do you have anything stored away? And what about-"

He tapped the table with each new point. Not ramming his fist down onto the top, I liked that he could stay calm while talking to me.

I interrupted gently when he paused again. "I can't answer that many questions at once. Rent is only three hundred a month. I've actually got all of this planned out... I wrote it all down..."

He took a deep breath as he half-grinned and sprinkled cheese on top of the chili that had fallen onto his plate. "Of course you did."

"Want me to go and get it?"

"If you'd like to," Dad said reasonably.

He really did put a lot of stock in my ability to think things through. Even as a kid, Dad had listened to me whenever I said I'd formed a plan.

"Um, sure. Hang on one second, I've got to find it in my room."

And take a few of the totals off, too. Charlie didn't need to know about my possible MJ money-making plan or the fact that Edward had allotted five hundred dollars extra per month on random spending.

No... that might be a good thing.

I hastily, and neatly, copied the figures down onto a new piece of paper. Out of habit, thanks to Phil's obsessive sneaking around, I chose a page from the very back. There would be no indents to shade in or read, not that I think Dad could ever stoop that low.

Thinking hard, I nearly tripped down three stairs.

"You okay there?"

"Yeah, thanks." I rolled my eyes at myself. So much for being graceful. "Here."

Charlie took the paper from me and studied it. He wiped his mouth with a white paper napkin and settled back in his chair.

"... are you done eating?" I asked, ready to clear the table.

"Cool your jets a minute," he said, still distracted. "I want to finish our talk before you start running around the kitchen."

Time for another hot dog. I didn't want to sit here, doing nothing, letting time tick by and my agitation grow worse.

"You write so small," he said. "What's this 'C.I' and 'M.F' and... P.B?"

"Car insurance, miscellaneous funds, and, um... oh, phone bill."

"Why the hell are you spending eighty bucks on cigarettes each month?"

He was good at math, I had forgotten. Having gone backwards from the total, he knew how much we smoked a week. Crap.

"Edward gets them on the Res, you know, cheaper. Three cartons for eighty."

Three for eighty, I mentally growled. Ha, the fucking Thriftway...!

"That's a pack and then some a day," he raised his eyebrow at me. "Are you smoking that much, Bella Swan?"

Uh-oh. The Partially Full Name. At least he hadn't said 'Isabella?'

"No, I'm not. It's an exaggeration. I wanted to be sure we were over any estimated amount rather than under it. When I got the total, I rounded up instead of down."

"Ah, okay." He accepted the answer, responsibility was a life saver.

"That actually sounds about right," he admitted. "A little under twenty-five grand a year."

I didn't need to say anything yet.

"That's a lot of money for kids your age. It's a lot of responsibility. Going to school and working at the same time, it's not easy."

"Um..."

"I might be able to arrange a job for you at the Police Station. You can answer phones, file Memo's, give directions, so on and so forth, right? If you wait a year, maybe two, you'll both be financially ready to-"

"Yeah, er... about the money thing..."

He was listening. Intently.

"Edward managed to save up some money back when he lived in New York."

I stopped and tried not to make it seem awkward. Would Edward want me telling Charlie about all the cash he had stored away? Was that not something I should be sharing?

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom real quick? I shouldn't have drank so much soda today..."

"Yeah, I'll give this another look over," he replied.

Taking the stairs one at a time, I didn't want to risk tripping forward, I called Edward soon as I closed the door behind me.

"What's up?" he asked. "How's it going?"

His tone helped me relax, I didn't realize I was that tense to begin with. He didn't seem worried at all. While my opinion had changed about 'worry,' after our talk in the Ice-Cream Parlour, it would take a little time before the theory worked its way into my mental processing.

"Can I tell Charlie everything?"

"Um... what does that mean? Everything?"

"About the amount of money you have. The real amount."

"Oh! Oh, sure. Just, maybe, gloss over a few of the facts? You know, about how I got it... maybe say it was invested, which it was, or that my inheritance collected more interest in the bank than it did?"

"Sure, no problem." I took a short breath of relief. Outright lying to Charlie would have made me uncomfortable, and sort of sad.

"Cool, text or call me later. Let me know how the rest of your talk pans out."

"Sure thing. Have you told Carlisle and Esme yet?"

"Nope, that's got to wait until tomorrow. I'll probably bring it up sometime in the morning."

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon."

"I'll be here," he replied.

After hanging up, I did use the bathroom. I hadn't lied about that, either. Without stumbling or tripping, I made my way back to the kitchen table. Confidence was a wonderful emotion.

I liked this time of night. When the woods were still and night hung heavy in the air, it was comforting rather than foreboding. I had always felt that way as a child, and living in Phoenix, doing most of my business in the late afternoon or night, I was glad I had no fear of the dark.

The kitchen light was reflected in our glass windows. Food was arranged prettily on the table, the counters were clean, it made a nice picture.

Home was Forks, at least for the next few years.

"You were saying? About Edward and New York?" He wasn't giving me an opportunity to change the subject.

"He inherited some money from a biological parent and he took some jobs in the city. Between that and careful spending, good planning... he's saved up enough where, um, the two of us can live for a couple of years, you know, ... comfortably."

"What's in his account is Edward's business," Charlie said, "... until he included you. How much are we talking here, Bells? A few thousand, nice as it seems to both of you... it's not going to be enough."

"No, Dad. It's more like... fifty grand..."

No need to mention the sixty he had waiting for him in New York. I was sure he could collect, now, but that didn't mean he had it in his possession.

"Fifty grand," he repeated, exhaling. "Three zeros after that comma?"

"Yeah... and one before it."

"Well. That's a little more than- how old is he?"

"... one's never too old to know the importance of investing and saving?"

"Who said that?" Charlie asked, amused.

"Um... me."

He smiled, I laughed at his eyebrows raising. The conversation was winding down.

"I promise I'll think about this decision. Edward said, himself, that even though we have a place to live, it's not the only place. Our plans aren't set in stone. It's just, he wanted me to see the options."

I really had been thinking about studios, lofts, renting rooms, a one-bedroom as the ultimate goal... it hadn't crossed my mind that we could rent an entire place.

"And, it just so happened, that the first place he found happens to be affordable, close by, within a decent range of universities and colleges, and... it's only twenty minutes away from here."

"I think Edward and I need to talk soon," Dad said with finality in his tone. "After he talks to his family, that is. Does he plan to tell them?"

"Of course! Tomorrow morning, so far as I know."

"Good. Sometime this week, invite him over. Or-"

"Hey, Dad?"

He rubbed his neck, glanced at me to continue.

"What if, depending on Edward's parents and their reaction to the news... maybe we could all sit down together and talk? I mean, they might have questions, Edward and I might get answers to things we're not considering..."

"All of us together," he replied, disbelievingly.

"Yes... you know, you're my Dad, they're his parents... it's a big decision. I want everyone, us included, to know that we'll be okay a few months after we move into the cabin, assuming it happens. That everything won't fall to pieces because we _thought_ we had planned for something we had no experience with."

"I was going to mention that," Dad said.

"Not to mention, I don't know if his parents will be as okay with the idea as you've been. I mean, you sort-of expected me to bring this up with you, right? Because Edward and I woke you up that night?"

"Mostly."

"So, really, it depends on a lot of things we can't be sure about yet." A thought occurred to me, somewhat of a long shot, but it could explain the Mid-Divorce Charlie look. "And, you know, I'm not that old. I might not be a kid, but... I still see you as my Dad. I want to stay close to home, if not home, here."

"Bells... I'm not so good at talking about things like your Mother is. I do know that... if I had been aware of the situation in Phoenix, I wouldn't have let her take you there."

"I could have called you."

"No," he shook his head. "I wasn't in any position... I didn't really give you a reason to think you _could_ call."

"Dad, really. I _always_ knew that you'd be there to help me if I needed it. Always, okay? The main point is that you helped get me here. You made Mom change her mind about keeping me in Phoenix, which you know seemed impossible to do at the time... you helped me get anything I could want or need, and you still do."

"You, Edward, Alice... Jasper? That's her guy's name, right? Jasper Whitlock?"

"Yup. Jas. He made himself my 'brother.' Alice is more like a sister than a friend. And Edward, well, we're all happy. Are you?"

"So long as you keep thinking things through."

"No, I meant... um, remember when I called to ask if I could stay on the Res? When you were google'ing sports segments... were you showing it to friends, or..."

"Yeah, thanks for the computer know-how, Bells. Interesting stuff, the Internet's got a lot of sports history."

"Sure, anytime."

"Want to help me clear the table? We can get some of this stuff out of the way."

"Mmhmm..."

He raised his eyebrow at me as I gathered our plates. "Don't look at me like that."

"Why would I be looking at you in a particular way, Dad? I was just wondering how your Halloween went."

"It was fine. Fun. The Cullens party had a nice turn-out."

"Yeah, I noticed. A lot of your friends were there. Did you all kick back here afterward?"

"I'll do the dishes. You probably have homework to catch up on, huh? Remember, if your grades slip..."

"Yeah, okay," I laughed. "I'll be in my room writing a paper on 'Evasive Tactics Used by Officers of the Law.'"

"So clever," he chuckled. Throwing a towel over his shoulder, he shook his head at the dishes. "Good night, Bells."

By morning, I had finished my actual homework. I felt rested, happy, and there was no lingering panic. Talking to Edward before I fell asleep helped a lot with that. He still seemed calm. Excited now that I had given him a definite yes, I wondered if the same had happened to him- once alone, the gravity of the situation would descend on him and he'd want to talk again.

Nope, it didn't happen, though I was on my way to pick him up. Or, more like, exercise my truck a little bit so that I could leave it in his driveway while we took the Volvo.

"Piece of shit, motherfucker!"

I froze in the Cullen's entryway. That was Edward's voice, and...

"Yeah? You think so, huh?" Silence, then the explosions. "Fuck!"

Was Mike here? I hadn't seen anyone else's car in the driveway. Carlisle and Esme were out or in the garage... I tiptoed across the living room. His door was half open, I had no idea what to expect.

"Up your _ass_, bitch!"

Okay. Really disturbing imagery.

I walked into his room and... didn't see anyone. Except for... ...his Playstation 3. It was on, the controller was in his hand.

He was standing, the screen erupting with explosions, people shooting one another. A World War II game. I saw him take out two players with a hand grenade.

Edward smiled darkly at the television. His character ducked for cover. I leaned over his couch and waited. The match would be over in a minute and a half. His team led by four hundred points.

I wasn't very good at first-person shooters, but I enjoyed watching them be played. Blood, carnage, and all of it done competitively- what wasn't there to find entertaining?

"Creepin' up behind you now..." he laughed maliciously and waited until the player noticed him. "...yeah. What the fuck now?"

I carefully perched on the couch like I had seen Alice do many times. Getting both of my legs around without disturbing Edward, I had to wonder if he had seen me yet.

His team won.

Edward threw the controller down and dragged me onto his lap. Yup, he was aware of my presence.

"HI," he breathed in and leaned back.

"Hello to you," I grinned. "Good game?"

"Oh yeah. It was fucking _great_."

"You know, I don't think I'm going to be the type of girlfriend that's jealous of your game systems."

"We've been busy recently, but... be careful before promising. I'm kind of an avid gamer."

"He speaks so prettily."

"I did warn you," he smiled. "Remember that."

I tucked my knees in and made him groan when I adjusted our position. There, it was so much better for... moving my hips against him, for once not in desperate need, I was happy he had won.

His tongue touched mine, the piercings tasted like... nothing, though they were smooth. He had changed the ones in his lip. The metal rings were replaced with a soft rubbery spiked hoop. The two around it were made of the same thing.

"You're not the only gamer here," I informed him. "I've just never owned a console."

"So... how did you play?"

"There was a Computer Cafe in Phoenix. After we, er, got rid of our computer, I'd go there to study and use the Internet. After eight, the manager would let us use the television for games. Mortal Kombat, Soul Calibur, Tekken, Street Fighter... I can kick ass with more than one character for those games."

"Really." His eyes went a deeper shade of green. He was turned on _and_ feeling competitive.

"Yup. And after Rose's friend Victoria got her own place, she didn't mind the guys using her living room for Halo matches, Super Mario Bros. for the Wii. Katamari, she owned that one."

"Jesus," he laughed. "You weren't kidding."

"Nope."

"You could own one here, you know."

"I've thought about it, but..." I smiled at him again, "I'm not home enough to play."

"Bella?"

"Hm?" I leaned against him to see where he was pointing.

"If you ever want to grab a game and boot it up..." He gestured to his PS3, the black Xbox360, a Wii, a Nintendo 64, and the games for all of them.

I had been curious about them before, but his books were distracting enough to keep me occupied for months.

"Did you want to smoke before we head out?"

"If I'm not driving," I said.

"I smoked up earlier. I'm straight to drive."

"Cool, sure." I settled back against the actual couch. Edward seemed like he wanted to get up. Disappearing for a moment, I bounced happily when he handed me a joint.

While I sparked it, Edward took the shooter game out of the console and picked... Soul Calibur 4.

"No fair," I said after two hits of really strong weed. "My reflexes are going to be slow."

"Do you trust me?" he handed me the second of his controllers.

I passed him the joint. "Of course, Edward."

If we played a few rounds of the game, concentration and energy would have high time burning faster. He would be more than fine to drive.

We sat a little apart from one another on the couch. Edward had probably gone from sitting to standing while fighting online. I tended to make broad gaming maneuvers, it was good one of us not be K.O'd in real time.

"Go," the booming voice said as our characters faced off.

I blocked, kicked, punched, and used special moves. Mostly blocked. Edward was an aggressive player.

"Whoa! Corner!" I clicked buttons furious;y. "I... can't move... you motherfucker! Get... off...!"

I countered. Fucking finally! Reversing, I backed him against the wall. Using a power move, I laughed as his health bar drained.

"Fucking... what the _fuck_?"

"Yeah," I smirked. "How do _you_ like it?"

"Round 2," the voice warned. "Fight!"

He did nothing but stare in surprise as a quarter of his health was knocked away. "What the fuck did you just do?"

I giggled and tossed him in the air before pushing him off a cliff.

"Cheap!"

"You backed me into a corner and wouldn't let me go!" I defended myself.

"I didn't see _you_ backing up when you did it to me."

"I was being nice. _You_ started fighting dirty. Don't blame your sneaky tactics on my game playing."

_Knock, knock knock_

"Doors open," Edward yelled.

"Do you guys need a moment?" we both heard Alice's voice.

"To what?" I asked. "Open the door."

Alice had her eyes covered when she entered the room. Edward looked as confused as I felt.

"What are you doing?" he inquired.

Alice peeked out from between her fingers. She dropped her arms abruptly and started laughing.

"Is the pot that strong?" Edward looked at me. "No way did we smoke enough to contact high the house."

"Do you know what it sounded like out there?" Alice laughed. "If our parents hadn't gone to work..."

"I'm too hyped up to understand you. What are you talking about, Ali?"

"Well... I was outside, eating breakfast, watching tv... and then, out of nowhere, I hear Bella say, 'I can't move- blah blah blah.' But I didn't think you were fighting with one another, know what I mean?"

"Oh! Nope, that's not what we were doing. Sorry to be boring," Edward said.

"I don't curse like that at Edward," I felt the need to say. "Not in bed. He's not into the whole Dominatrix thing."

"Thanks for that," Alice rolled her eyes at me. "If you want me to share-"

"Anyway," Edward interrupted. "Bella kicked my ass in Soul Calibur. In cheap ways."

"You know more than one?" Alice held her hand up. I high-fived her. "Good job!"

"A 'Ring Out' is not a real win," he insisted.

"Did we get to '_Round 3_'?"

He laughed at my imitation and lit a cigarette for me.

"You play well," I got him to admit.

"Thank you. So do you."

"... for a non-console-owning gamer..."

There was no way for him to retract his statement. We had spoken at the same time, but his sentence had been longer than mine. The last word hung in the air, we both raised an eyebrow.

"Alice?" I gasped. "Kick his ass for me?"

She lightly punched him in the shoulder. "That wasn't very nice. And, quick, before it gets gross for me... do you guys want to come canoeing with me and Jasper later?"

"Um... Can we raincheck?" I asked. "Because...

"We're getting ink," Edward said plainly. "In four hours, and being accidentally dumped into the lake would be really not good. Thanks, though."

Alice shrugged. "Sure! No problem! Mind if I ask what you're getting tattooed?"

"Actually..." I glanced at Edward. "I wanted to talk with you about that..."

"Change your mind?" he asked nonchalantly.

I pulled a piece of paper out of my back pocket.

"No, I didn't change my mind. Why would you think that?"

"You look nervous."

"I'm definitely getting your design put on me, but... what do you think of this?"

Our computer didn't have Photoshop, but it did have the Paint program. I had printed the finished result after a lot of tweaking and cursing.

Edward looked stunned.

"I couldn't think of one for you," I said before he could gather his thoughts. "The images I searched for helped create this one instead of ink for you..."

I had used an in-browser program that cartoonized real objects into pictures. With a little copying and pasting, I had added three of the skeletal heads I'd seen on Edward's body to frame the picture. His knife was the center focus.

Smoke curled around the entire blade, it's actual blade notched on one side and jagged on the other. Perfect for gutting, slicing, ripping... I had positioned the skulls to take advantage of the break in the smoke trails.

All of them were very dark, masculine, but the tattoo was meant to be. There was nothing else on my back, it was all pale space waiting to be filled.

My other tattoos were less intense than this one would be. I could use my shoulder blades, ribs, the lower half of my back to soften the overall effect.

"Wow," he said. "That's... fucking incredible."

"For between my shoulders."

"Do you _see_ that?" Edward was still studying the paper as he pulled his laptop out from under the couch. He looked away for a second as the screen illuminated. His eyes were a light shade of green that I had never seen before.

Turning the laptop to face me, I caught my breath at the dark feminine figure. He had picked a soft tribal for the words 'Aut vincere aut mori.' The words curved around the woman's head. She held a book in the curve of her left arm, and latched onto her left wrist was a handcuff. Dangling, empty, the other half to the cuff was unfastened and hanging by her bodice.

The handcuff bracelet she wore, I couldn't stop staring. It wasn't the main focus of his tattoo, but the shiny silver would stand out from the black of her clothes. It hung low on her wrist, emphasizing her femininity. It seemed as though it were seconds from falling to the ground.

"To go on your right arm?" I asked.

The picture was very... not like his other tattoos. His Alice girl, too, both were delicate. No skulls or flames around them; they weren't portraits, more like fantasy art that held a strong resemblance to us.

"Yes. The words match the tribal on my shoulder and the bird on my back. Soon, in another few months, I'll have a sleeve to go with it."

Oh... my god. I could see it already, starting on his left side, the tribal would curl around his shoulder, dipping down to where it became a tribal cardinal. Continuing over the top half of his back, it would wind over his left shoulder, down his arm, and end, supposedly, with the ink he was getting today.

Like armor, in a way.

"They're both incredible," Alice said softly.

"Thanks," Edward replied.

"Thank you," I said at the same time.

"I'll catch you guys later," she looked down as she smiling, having liked whatever expression I, Edward... we were wearing.

"Love you, Alice," I pulled her into a hug before she left. It made her smile again, even brighter this time. Her eyes were so very blue!

"Are you really getting that on your arm?" I asked.

"... so fucking strange sometimes," Edward said, glancing between both designs.

"What is?"

"Coincidences," he replied.

"Such as... me planning mine and you planning yours when..."

"Yes," Edward nodded emphatically. "Exactly. When it should have been the opposite. Yet... it worked out... and..."

"It would have either way," I remembered, "because I was planning to get whatever you'd chosen for me today."

"Same."

"Have I told you that I love it? Love, love, so very in love with you and your artistic creativity."

"You did now," Edward grinned. "I was worried you'd think it too... girly."

"No, not at all. She's absolutely beautiful. Quiet, intelligent, with lots of character, mischievousness to show she's not secretly boring. I love her, Edward."

"Yes, well, she's you... and... you know, I love you too." He rolled his eyes at me, "Would you come back onto my lap so I can stop sounding so fucking...?"

"You don't." I interrupted, laughing, but did as he had asked. He never needed to ask twice, not for an opportunity to be this close without the fear of anyone walking in.

"Real quick..." Edward held the paper I had printed. "I won't object if you want it, but... this skull at the bottom?"

"The crazy intense one?"

"Yeah... that stands for, um... I'm just not sure you'd want something like him, er, like that, on _your_ skin..." he trailed off, unable to find words.

Putting an arm around his neck, I leaned against his chest to think.

I studied the skeletal head on the bottom of the page. Trails of black wound around it's head, almost making it seem as though the skull had horns. His eyes were darkened with black designs, it's mouth, too.

Crazy, dangerous, angry in an out-of-control way... was I staring into Masen's skeletal face?

"They all stand for him. That one," he pointed to the uppermost, and simplest skull, "is abuse and death. When I learned that I was a person, capable of fighting back. The one with the snakes are for lies. The end of me believing his, being able to read the demented truth... which was better than the excuses he gave, trust me."

When he learned he was a person?

"And that one," he laughed jaggedly. "That's him. Dead before it actually happened, in all of his insane... fucking bullshit... bastard..."

"Will it bother you, seeing them on me?"

"No," he shook his head, memories faded as he focused on me. "I got them inked purposefully. I wanted you to have the meaning before you got it marked."

"Abuse, lies, and surviving all of what he was and did to you..."

"I... I'm sorry if-"

He stopped talking when I shifted on his lap. Not because I had distracted him, but because he knew I didn't want him to say 'sorry.' There was nothing to apologize for.

"I remember the misunderstanding with Mike, PCP, what happened. You tried to get me to leave you, you told me that it wasn't safe to be around you like that. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to call Carlisle or my Dad... I stayed because I cared about you. I've no idea what you truly saw, but you protected me, even then. And you remembered who I was."

"You helped with that," he refuted. "The advice you gave me worked."

"Gym class?" I chose another example out of the many I'd stored away.

"What about it?"

"Edward," I sighed. "I'll explain next time you do something like that. My main point, and it really won't offend me now that I know the truth and meaning... do you want me to pick something else?"

"No. It'll symbolize something different on you." It wasn't pride talking, Edward meant what he said. That was all I needed to know.

"I chose them because it was then I knew I loved you. And I want you to know that I'll stand by you again if something like that happens. He's dead and he'll stay that way no matter how many times you get to kill him."

This was it. I held my breath internally. His eyes looked as they did the other day, in the cabin. I had said something about being 'equal partners.' Edward had taken a step back and asked, 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'

For the briefest of seconds, I had froze. Part of me linked the words to a vague proposal on my part. I was less girly than most of the people we went to high-school with, and Edward should have known better, but as he took a step back and glared... part of me, because i had thought it too, had wondered if he thought I were asking him to think about marriage.

"I don't want to get married, just for the record. Not yet."

He blinked at me. Then he blinked again. His eyebrow rose and his lips parted.

"Okay..."

"I needed to clear the air."

"I wasn't thinking about... It was the cabin, wasn't it? Domestic us, being a couple in a place of our own..."

"Well, sort of, but... I just needed to be sure. I mean, I _just_ wrapped my mind around accepting your offer _for_ the cabin. I'm not sure whether I want to go to college, if I want to get a job. I don't know where I'll be a year from now..."

"Bella," he said carefully, "I'm not thinking about getting married, either. Honestly, the idea kind of flips me the fuck out. It's way, way too serious."

"Thank you," I smiled.

"You're very fucking welcome." He laughed suddenly, "I'm not even the slightest bit high anymore. You ready to head out?"

"It freaks you out that much, you lost your high?"

"Well, jesus," Edward snorted. "Out of fucking nowhere... could have had a fucking heart attack hearing you say 'marriage.' Fucking... if we don't go, I'm going to get stoned again."

That was one less thing I needed to worry about. For Edward to not be high, it had to be serious.

"Have you been to this shop before?" I asked in the car.

"Yeah. Short background story, because I love that fucking place. Two guys moved out here from L.A, they took out a loan, insisted they could ink without official experience. They've been here six years now and they're usually really busy."

"That's really impressive."

"Yeah. The two of them, they love art. They need to create like... you and books. You're going to like the place a lot."

I did, just from the outside. The building had been white at one point, but spray painted images dominated all sides of it. From the trashcans, which were black with blue flames, from the parking lot curbs, the door was blacked out with a neon blue frame.

Inside, there was a couch against the far right wall. I couldn't see any office, though a desk had been placed a few feet in front of me.

No archways, no half-kitchen like windows, it looked more like an apartment with four rooms.

"Yo." Chains jingled as a guy, probably in his late twenties, came to stand behind the desk. "What's up, man?"

"What's up?' Edward replied. "Bella, Brian, Brian, Bella."

He and I shook hands, I liked that his nails were well-groomed. Then again, I wouldn't be here if Edward thought them lacking in professional hygiene.

"And that's Jason," Brian nodded to the man who had come to stand next to him.

Brian and Jason were the owners, I could tell by the skeletal plaque on their desk. They weren't bad looking. Both of them were tall, completely inked. Brian had blue hair, Jason's was brown with green streaks.

Both were Caucasian, and between the art I had seen outside and the ink on their bodies... I wasn't worried about whether they could do what I wanted.

I can't deny that just the sound of the tattoo machine turned me on. Getting ink done was addictive. I loved all of mine, the way it looked on my body. It made me happy to know I would one day be a walking piece of art.

The designs symbolized things I would never forget and what I wanted to remember. This newest one would look really good between my shoulder blades, high on my back.

Edward was possessive in the same way I was. I knew sex would be better than normal for a good while- unless it killed me. And I knew that he'd start to see the skulls in a different way, which might eventually help him say 'Masen' instead of trailing off until I got the point.

As I described what I wanted, I saw Edward set himself up to pay. He looked from me to the register when I pointed to something on my printout.

I waited until I could catch his attention. Rolling my eyes at him, he immediately grinned. It made sense to me that his tattoo be a present. Same as his new ink would be mine, from him.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I didn't say anything," I defended myself.

"Plotting?"

"You buy mine, I pay for yours."

He hesitated, it wasn't difficult to find three legitimate reasons to refute any argument he might make.

"Okay," he said finally.

"Okay?"

"Thank you," he half-glared at me.

I hugged him, uncaring of the fact that we were in public, in a tattoo shop. Money didn't worry me anymore, not now that we had finally found a way to make it work. It might have been because I said yes to the cabin, but Edward was a lot more tolerant of my wanting to pay for things.

"I've done... four tattoos for you now?" Jason asked him after I let him go.

"Yeah, I think so," Edward replied.

"How're they doing?"

"Check it out, man." Handing me his leather jacket, he shrugged out of his hoodie. Jason looked closely at the tribal and nodded to himself a few times as he examined the rest.

"Sweet," he said. "Let's make it five."

"Cool. You're with me, Bella," Brian followed them into one of the larger rooms.

"You've hired people," Edward said. "You caved on the employee thing, huh?"

"Yeah, well, we've been too fuckin' busy, y'know? Better to hire them and have them take the easy shit over losing work, right?"

We were led to two high-set chairs. They were made of black leather... and they were not as comfortable as they looked.

"Mind if I sit sideways?" I asked.

"Whatever you want. I need you to lean slightly forward, though," Jason's voice let me know that he, at least, was into men.

"No problem." That would be easy enough to accomplish. I wanted to watch Edward being inked.

"Brian... _where_ are my needles?"

"Oh, I needed to borrow one," he looked over at Jason and bit his lip coyly. "They're right in front of you, babe."

Edward and I shared a look. We weren't going anywhere, and it wasn't a huge deal. They were cute, in their way.

I rested my head on my arms and adapted a position I knew would be comfortable.

"You cool?" Brian asked me.

"Yeah, why not?"

"You seemed like the cool type," he smiled.

"They're not openly gay," Edward filled in for me.

Jason shrugged, "Guess that's better than calling us fruits."

By the time we were ready to pay, I was in a haze of need, lust, want... Edward had pulled Jason and Brian to the side for a minute. I hadn't interrupted to see what he wanted, judging by the look in his eyes, this would be good for us.

The three of them turned, each going different ways. Jason was heading for the desk, Brian was going to clean the tattoo chairs.

"Office doubles as a bedroom, man. Be respectful of our shit."

"I know where you sleep, Cullen. I have a photographic memory. I'll piss on your bed if you fuck on mine."

Jason and Brian smiled at one another. Edward laughed and took my hand.

Men. Territorial as fuck.

The 'office' door was plastered with signs and stickers. They all advertised forms of protection. One warned anyone entering that they had a Pit-bull, another a Rottweiler. I laughed at the 'Sloman Shield' logo. Spread around the Shield were three firearms stickers and... a killer robot walrus.

It was so random... I loved it.

Inside, however, was a different story. The art was breathtaking. It took over all of the white areas on their walls. Paper was hung- large celebration type banners on which colors melded together.

"You looked so fucking-" he kissed me softly, but only because momentum would have made our heads crack together.

His hand tangled in my hair.

"Mm-" I breathed in quickly before he lowered his head again. I didn't want to slow down, words weren't needed. He unbuckled his pants as I stepped out of my pink lace panties.

Edward threw his jacket down over the pool table. I barely noticed the artwork drawn onto the black felt. With my legs around his waist, admiring the room could wait until later.

"_Fuck_, Bella." Edward had realized how very much I wanted this. "Fucking-perfect..."

I leaned back on my forearms as Edward slowly slid into me. I was small compared to him, pain and adrenaline had me tense for action.

Edward pulled out and raised my hips at the same time. He pushed me further back onto the table so that he could lean over me comfortably. I entertained fantasies like this as the needle had marked me.

His fingers and tongue touched me at the same time. He groaned against me as I grew even wetter for him. Flickering two of his fingers over my g-spot made me reach behind me for something to hold.

I couldn't lay back, but friction and his jacket helped me from burning my hands on the table. My nails dug into the leather as...

_So_ fucking _good_...

His lip piercing rubbed over me, again and again. With more pressure now, I bucked and moaned and came... while still craving more. He swirled his tongue around my clit one last time.

I was alot closer to being relaxed now. His eyes darkened as he looked at me, smiling up at him.

"Tell me you have a condom."

"I do, actually."

"Where is it?" He grinned suddenly, "Don't answer that. Forget I asked."

Bunching my shirt in his hands, he inhaled quickly when he realized I hadn't bothered with a bra. Making absolutely sure the condom wasn't anywhere on my chest, he made me writhe again by the time he was done 'searching.'

Goosebumps and shivering, no pain, but I always held anticipation that there could be. He trailed his fingers down over my ribs, across my hipbones.

"In my-"

I stopped abruptly as his eyes immediately flashed to mine. His lips curled, I flushed.

"Such a guy."

He made me squirm as he lightly raked his nails over my hips. His thumbs met over my clit as he stroked skin I had made sure to shave smooth for him.

Edward glanced down at my shoes. Moving his two thumbs together in circles, he took his time thinking.

"Not-" I made a strangled sound as he moved his hands to my inner thighs. I came less than ten minutes ago, but... I wanted him even more now than I had before.

"Edward, please," I tried to bring him closer. He didn't move, and fuck if that didn't turn me on even more. Moving my skirt out of his way by moving my hips, I made whimpering sounds as he smirked.

"Hidden pockets," he said roughly. "That's where it is."

"Yes! Fuck!" I laughed in relief, "Right side, my lipgloss is there, too."

He didn't tease while ripping the condom open.

"Want your lipgloss?" I made him laugh at my doubtless, shocked expression. "I got a pretty large tattoo. Sure you don't want to wait a minute?"

**EPOV**

"No," she replied, pulling me closer, "I don't want to wait a few seconds, let alone a minute."

Because pain fucking drove me crazy, from the needle anyway. Watching Bella get my skulls on her body, the tribal matching her wrist tribal spade, she had made one or two last minute adjustments to Masen's ink.

Her eyes had gone heavy-lidded with pleasure. Her face flushed as Jason hit sensitive spots on her back. It had never bothered me that they were gay. We smoked up once in the back and Jason had reached into Brian's side pocket for a lighter.

I asked to use it when he was done, anything to break the tension I felt take over the room. This was Washington, and the backwoods of Washington. Their secret was safe with me, not that it needed to be a secret anymore.

Instead of sitting sideways, Brian had put a lower chair in front of her. With Bella straddling the leather seat, she could lean forward on the second.

It made me really fucking glad I had met them and that they were together.

Watching her watch me, on it went, pleasure and pain. Not once had she backed away from me. I was beginning to realize, horrifying as it was, that Bella really wouldn't leave me if she thought I needed her.

In fact, it really offended her, the thought of me handling whatever needed to be handled while she stayed safe. All of my rules had bent when it came to her... and I was okay with it.

I saw the skeletons appear on her skin and remembered how she had faced the gang to help me. Cracking Jake in the jaw, it looked like her punch really fucking hurt.

And the PCP night... she had said 'I love you,' and I had replied with, 'What the fuck...?' Not one of my better moments. It might be the worst one in the history of our relationship, on so many levels, but... we had dealt with it. Fuck it now.

Lies, abuse, and crazed insanity- she had relived most of it with me. It made sense that she choose those tattoos.

As I watched the one I had picked for her become permanent, I felt my dark side roar to life. It rippled over my skin before calming down again. I didn't need to prove anything to anyone anymore.

Bella was mine, and because she was, I knew I'd be able to protect her. ... because she didn't need me to. She stood on her own and cleared space for herself, she didn't need me to keep anything away from her.

I let my fingers move over her again. She panted, whispered things I couldn't hear. Watching my hand move between her legs, the ink fresh and bright and new, Bella closed her eyes as her knuckles went white around my jacket.

Her eyes pleaded with mine.

Patience only went so far.

**Bella's Point of View**

I had seen his eyes grow darker, darker still. When he slid inside of me, I was torn between lowering my arms on the pool table, and sitting up so that I could put them around his neck.

So much energy had been building within me, ever since we left the cabin, the elated feeling that rose after my conversation with Charlie was done, seeing Edward in the morning and knowing we were getting ink done...

It had been a really great few days, and my body seemed to know that everything went back to normal tomorrow.

I strained against him, matching his rising aggression. Music from the other room pounded over me, made me writhe as his stomach muscles tightened.

Just watching the way he moved was enough to make me want to come. The ferocity in his eyes, the way he almost snarled as I did come...

Pure happiness and white light that warmed before muting everything, I lost touch with reality and embraced everything unknown that we would face together.

There was too much space between us. I could feel him moving, but I had ceased to exist. He supported my back as I pressed myself against him. I bit his neck, sucked at the skin I felt beneath my lips.

He shook his head, vibration skittering through me as he growled. I bit harder, down over the curve of his shoulder. Nearly letting my jaw close at the feel of his muscles tensing, he slammed into me and shuddered as I slid my tongue over the teeth marks I had left.

Both of us were breathing hard. He smoothed my hair back and cupped my neck. When I clenched around him he laughed, groaned, kissed me as anticipation built again.

I twisted my hips with each of his thrusts so that my clit brushed against him. Rough and smooth at the same time, the friction of his flesh on mine made me shake.

Hooking my ankles around the backs of his thighs, I bent my knees and tilted my pelvis down. I could feel the head of his cock, the width of him each time I rocked my hips on his.

He thrust harder, getting closer to release. His breaths came in harsh pants, vicious sounds that matched mine. The music broke and took me with it, up and up and up until Edward's body was the only thing that kept me grounded.

His head was at my shoulder, he wrapped his left arm around my waist and moved me harder against him. I felt his piercings trail over my neck before he bit down.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and _yesss_...

I struggled in his arms, but not to get away. The force of my orgasm rocked through me, I wanted to scream with the intensity. Edward had lost control a few seconds, if not at the same time I had.

So very rare, a myth that I hadn't been naive enough to expect, even with Edward.

"I love you," he kissed me again, perspiration making his hair damp against my fingers. "I love you, I love you, I fucking love you so fucking much..."

I clung to him and laughed as he picked me up, my legs still around his waist. His eyes were bright blue, nothing but happy.

That hadn't been dark and bone melting sex, where we were both exhausted after and drifting off to sleep before the sheets were up. It had been... I didn't know what it had been.

Triumphant, ecstatic, overcoming life obstacles and reveling in existence with one another, I wore his mark so I'd never forget today.

The moment held as I looked into his eyes and smiled. With my arms over my head, body tilted back slightly as I stretched while he held me, I relaxed and curled myself around him again.

"I love you too," I grinned happily.

"And guess what," he nipped my shoulder.

"What?"

"If I'm getting my sleeve done over the next few months, you've got to pick some new ink for you, too."

"Which means..." I let my tone match the wicked smile that spread over my face.

"Oh yeah," he said, darkness entering his tone again, "We get to do this again really, really soon."

**Authors End Note:  
**Roommates going to be home soon so I'll add 'Thank You's' later! I wanted to have this up by Valentine's Day, but... it was Valentine's Day, haha, and the computers in his bedroom where he and his girlfriend were hanging out. 'Nough said? 'sigh.  
I'll be back in NJ for a few weeks. Going to get some money together, get a new laptop, some furniture for my Still empty bedroom in CA... lots of writing will be done on the plane, etc, so I'm hoping to update again in a few days! Yay!  
**Authors End Note 2:  
**Pertaining to the whole 'marriage' thing between them, I've been feeling that it's time they start thinking about it. Which, when the story first started, I couldn't even comprehend, you know? I'm still sticking to my 'No Children' rule because they're Just thinking about living together, and there's way too much I have planned for Bella to have pregnancy side-effects I'll have to write around. Ick.  
I don't want them to fall into marriage traditionally, though, so until I figure out how Edward will handle things- in his way- the plot will continue in my original mindset...  
So... progression has happened again. I'm really happy about that. EPOV is up next, which is always a lot of fun for me to write, =D, and the next twist comes up soon! Happy Belated Valentine's Day, everyone. Hope that clarifies why some of this chapter's more... happily sexual... than what they've done in the past?


	44. Moment Of Clarity

**Chapter 44**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:**  
Back in NJ! I've been sort-of busy, reconnecting with one or two friends, visiting NYC because, when I was in CA, I realized that the majority of my time in NY had been spent in Manhattan and Queens. So, I'm branching out into Brooklyn to get a lay of the land. I want E's past to be accurate, and I can't remember all of the streets.  
It took two whole fucking days, but I finally managed to procure some smoke from a neighbor. ^_^. Everyone else was out, stingy bastards. They can't lie to me. I heard the lighter flicking over the phone.

**Authors Note 3:**  
I was halfway done with the chapter… and a whole new scene emerged for Edward and Alice. Wow. Got sort-of dark there, not sure why.  
**Bella's Corset-**http:/emmahyy(dot)en(dot)busytrade(dot)com  
/products/info/1261728/Sexy-Linerie-ariel-Zip-front-Corset(dot)html**  
Bella's Outfit- **At 6am, I saw this picture and… I like it. I might hate it  
later, but I could see Bella wearing something like this, and pulling it off.  
http:/lookbook(dot)nu/look/1592794-PlaiDED

**Playlist  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942?src=5**  
'**Til I Collapse- **Eminem  
**New York- **Ja Rule  
**Moment of Clarity-** Jay-Z  
**Rogues- **Incubus  
**Hey, Baby- **Pitbull (Because them pulling up to this song- it makes me happy to think about.)  
**I Want You- **Savage Garden

**Edward's Point of View**

Home. I threw my keys on the dresser and shrugged out of my jacket. Music was on now, low, but loud enough for me to hear without straining. Straining. I remembered the way Bella's knuckles had whitened as she clawed its leather. Getting ink had made her go fucking _crazy_, and I was seriously, seriously proud I had lasted long as I did.

Celebratory smoke time. I felt the high at the back of my mind. It was a phantom sensation, one I hated when I didn't have any weed. Beckoning, calling, my head tingled just thinking about how the smoke would taste. Like eating a jolly rancher, feeling the jaw constrict at the sudden burst of sour…

"I need to talk to you about-" the rest of the words faded as my senses snapped into Full Alert. I jerked around. My hand went for a gun I didn't have, and hadn't carried in a very long time. "Jesus Fucking Christ! … Alice?"

She blinked at me from around the sofa's back. I had surprised her, but then, she had flipped me the fuck out. I couldn't feel too badly about it. My heart was still pounding, adrenaline was just beginning to fade.

"What happened?" She watched my every move, studied my face intently. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I grabbed my pipe and a lighter. "You… what were you doing?"

"Waiting for you to get back," she replied.

"A little fucking warning next time, okay? What if I had been armed?"

"You wouldn't shoot me," Alice said confidently. "Why are you so jumpy? What happened?"

I could take people down, but little good that would do me if Alice had been someone with a pistol. I'd turn the couch around later. Fuck it, problem solved.

"Nothing," I insisted. She had surprised me, that's all. Nice to know I still had it in me, the survival skills hadn't died.

"Sure. Okay then." Her sarcastic voice.

"I'm not holding a weapon. I'm not even armed. Did you notice?"

"I'm proud of you," she nodded.

A freshly rolled joint, white crinkled paper… green herb I knew would be great, I sparked the end and inhaled. Jesus. Fuck. This was what- another hit- pot should fucking be. The door was closed and locked. The third inhalation exploded behind my face, it made me smile.

"So," I straddled the back of my couch, one leg tucked firmly against the cushions. "What did you want to talk about?" I had my cigarettes, an ashtray, my lighter, and Febreeze in a corner of the couch from before. We could be here all night if necessary, I was good.

"Texas," Alice stated.

"Jasper, you mean?" I said, cutting to the only reason she had to mention Texas.

"Yes," Grudging consent. "But you first. Why have you been so jumpy lately?"

"I haven't been 'jumpy.'" It took me a second, "And what do you mean _lately_? I freaked out _once_, and it's nothing like before-"

"Close enough," she insisted. "Getting the ink, maybe? Does your arm hurt? The tattoo looks amazing, very life-like."

"Thanks." I was really happy with the final result. My tattoo guys knew what they were doing. I really liked that Brian would let me know if the artwork was more detailed than he'd be able to handle. He and Jason were honest that way. They'd take the loss to business in lieu of making sure the customer got what they wanted. But, after any tattoo, the enflamed area took time to heal. "Maybe," I had to admit, "the skin's sore. It hurts when I stretch. No big deal, though, okay?"

"Sure, if that weren't your dominant arm. You hate being slowed down."

"Alice," I sighed. "Please, move the fuck on."

"Grumpy too," she raised her eyebrow.

"I think you're transferring your worry onto me. If you focus on what's wrong with my life, you don't have to worry about Jasper's potential relocation to Texas."

"He's talked to you about moving?" Her blue eyes widened before they narrowed. I had my answer.

"Nope," I smiled at her. "But now I know why you're mother henning me."

"I'm doing no such thing," she crossed her arms. "And it's not fair of you to use manipulative tactics on me. We had a deal, remember?"

"They weren't manipulative, they were deductive," I defended myself. "Talk to me, Ali. What's up?"

"I… don't want him to move," she sighed, softly. "But I don't want to keep him here, you know? Have him stay only because of me."

I was uncomfortable. This wasn't my area of expertise. But if I suggested she talk to Bella or our parents instead… she had sought me out for a reason. Shit. I really couldn't beat the guy if Texas was where he made money. There wasn't anything more important, except perhaps love. But that thought would come from Alice, not me.

"What would you do in this situation?" she asked.

"What would you like me to do?" I grinned at her, Old Edward rising to the surface.

"No, nothing like that." She fixed me with a stern glare, "Incapacitating him into staying would be worse than me manipulating him."

"Hang on a second," I latched onto that and ran with it. "Jasper doesn't seem like your Average Guy. He's not dumb, definitely not illiterate. There's a certain fight-smart streak in him, you know, in a brawler kind of way. Manipulate him? I'm not sure that's what you're doing, Alice. And, no offense, but… I don't know if he's the type that can Be manipulated. Not for emotional reasons, do you know what I mean? If he's that hell-bent on going, it's got to be for a reason other than… 'it's his _home.'_"

"He thinks about money differently than you do," she shook her head. "It's not always about cash. You do know that, right?"

"Why the fuck else would he be going to Texas?" I snorted.

"It's where he lived all his life."

"So what? Now Washington's his home. He moved here, didn't he?"

"Reluctantly."

"And he's still bitching about it?"

"_No_, Edward. Jasper told me he could set down roots here… but I know it would be difficult for him. He's not like us when it comes to moving. Money doesn't mean everything to them like it has for us."

"How do they purchase the property? Keep it going?" I raised an eyebrow. "No one's credit is that good forever."

"Jasper doesn't have a credit card."

"That's…" He had to have a bank card, at least. What the fuck…

"Unlike us, he doesn't reach above and beyond. Only when it comes to the rodeo, but he rides because he loves it, not just for the cash prize. He loves his horses, too. And while he has been working on breeding them, I know Jasper won't sell to anyone he doesn't trust."

"Because he's naturally good with them," I pointed out. "If he weren't, if it were harder for him… it would be about money. He got lucky. And what do you mean, 'above and beyond.' What the hell does that even-"

"He uses words like, 'comfortable,' and 'better than most,' rather than 'financially solvent,' 'ahead of the game.'"

"So he has the luxury of time, too. Good for him." I paused. "How did we get on the subject of money? We were talking about how you're worried he's, er, might be moving?"

"Because you _always_ bring it up?" she asked, though not snippily. "Always. For once, think outside of the box for me. Or, better yet, skip right to the end result. How do I ask him to stay, but not at the same time? You know how to manipulate words, and I need your help this time. You don't know him like I do…"

"I should hope not," I quirked my eyebrow at her. She rolled her eyes at me, but a half-grin remained… that was good enough. "You know, you've answered your own question."

"Do _not_ talk to me as my counselor."

"… You sure I'm the right person for this? I state facts, you say I'm being manipulative. I try to be fucking helpful, you say all I can think about it money. And now, now, I was attempting to be supportive… Counselor," I relit the joint and snorted again.

"You've done it before," she continued glaring at me.

"Fine," I gave in. Alice had her grudge against Counselors, anyone who tried to get inside her head. It's one of the reasons she was so friendly, at least in my opinion. The more outgoing she seemed, the less people tended to pry. I had seen it work dozens of times, but I didn't have the patience Alice was always able to find. It helped that she actually cared about her 'friends.' I saw nothing redeemable in any of them, Bella had been the only exception.

"What's up with this music?"

"What?" The question had been abrupt, I didn't like her tone. She wasn't angry with my musical preferences, but… something had her worried for me.

"You're listening to rap music," she restated.

"So I hear," I blinked at her. "What about it?"

"Metal, hard rock, EBM… you only listen to this when…"

"New York. Yeah, I've been thinking back to when we lived in the city. Not in a bad way, don't worry."

"Not in a bad way," she repeated, disbelievingly. "Because you've always looked back so fondly on our time there.'

"We had a pretty good run," I grinned. This pot reminded me of the stuff I had gotten in Brooklyn. Ride or die days. Not all of them had been terrible. The basic reason and how it played out, yes, but I had made some useful friends.

"You were arrested, and you nearly went to _prison_. Prison, Edward. Not jail."

"Way before that."

"You nearly died. A bunch of times."

"I made a lot of money there, though. Good contacts. Things were simple, so much… easier. Doing bad things for good reasons, I'm still confused about that. The profit, Alice. Do you remember?"

"They weren't _easier_. You can't possibly be that high. What profit was there, Edward? You nearly died, more than once. Your body never had time to heal; if you weren't bruised, you were bleeding. If you weren't sleeping, you were in pain. Do you remember those days? I don't know what dreamland you're in, but New York wasn't pleasant."

A lot had happened while she was at school. Part of me… I didn't _miss_ that way of life… yet, the security had been nice. It wasn't security by anyone's definition, I knew my perspective was skewed. But when I was good at something, it worked for me. I happened to be good at getting away with crime, fighting, manipulating for what I needed. And when the stakes were low, those were very good talents to have.

I didn't need to use those skills much anymore. Nowhere near the degree I had, once upon a time. It was kind of nice, though. Having a crew at my back, dealing with no-bullshit people who were competent, capable. Even being on my own; selling shit before going to tail someone, getting money from a person or two, picking up and dropping off more stuff, heading back to get my portion of the cash. Nice, quick, easy transactions. Toward the end, we only lived well for a couple of years, I had been able to pull in at least five hundred a day. Lazily. I cringed at all of the Wasted Years. Ignorant fuck.

Surprising, how much we spent in a week, but New York was an expensive place to live. My cigarettes alone were eight dollars a day. Food, hotel rooms, clothes, luggage for our clothes, cheap transportation… jesus. I ran a hand over my face, lit the pipe again.

Getting into fighting for money had been a bad idea. I knew it at the time. It had made me better, I couldn't ignore that fact. My reflexes improved, I learned new moves, improvisational fighting wasn't a problem for me. Much as I hated the people I shared profit with, part of me would always be satisfied in knowing… I had taken that much pain, survived, got back up. The dark side of me knew how capable we were of protecting the people we loved. I slept better at night knowing.

Joining Jake's gang wasn't going to happen. It would bore me. I'd deal with a lot of shit, unnecessary fights that wouldn't pay. I laughed aloud as the thought formed, Jake as my leader. Not fucking likely.

"You're being really weird," Alice said, taking the pipe and pot away from me. "No more smoking for you. Cigarettes only. What's funny? Are you still thinking about New York? It was bad, Edward. Really. Don't sugar-coat it because you're panicking about money."

"Sugar-coat," I glared at her. "There's no panic about money. Not anymore. And I'm not planning a trip or anything, just… compared to how we used to live, I mean, look around. You know?"

"Oh," she visibly relaxed. "For a minute I thought you- I know you wouldn't, but… yeah. Things have changed a lot. For the better, right?"

"Definitely. Just… I don't want to completely forget, you know? Besides, you became my sister in New York. Quick-thinking, just as quickly swiping, you held your own in some fuck-all places, Alice."

"We did what we had to do," she shrugged. "And you always did more than one person should have. I helped when I could."

Best not to go down that road. "Speaking of… I might need to enlist your help tonight. Long story short, I found a place. For Bella. And me, you know, but… the keys are being sent here, like, tomorrow. I need to tell Carlisle and-"

"He's seen the keys already." Alice blinked at me. "You didn't notice the envelope on the front table?"

"We never put mail there…"

"Because they opened it be accident. I don't think they were upset, just surprised."

"Surprised then, pissed now. Shit. Okay, new plan time. Don't let me improvise this, okay? Keep me here until I've come up with a plan."

"I don't think it's nearly this serious, Edward."

"They had no warning. I kept putting it off… I planned on telling them… and right after they found out about all of the money," I groaned. "God_damn_it." This wasn't a Sit-and-think moment. I started pacing, slowly, not like a crazy person. It wasn't as though I didn't have anywhere to go. That was the point. Fuck.

"They really weren't upset."

"Fuck it. Improvisation it is. I'm better that way, anyway. Will you be my backup plan?"

Alice laughed. "How?"

"If I start, I don't know… you know how I have a tendency to choose _the worst_ fucking example? It confuses them, there's usually an unnecessary story that I wouldn't have had to share if I didn't-"

"Okay! Yes, I'll waylay those." She paused, "I'm not supposed to let you leave without a real plan."

"You are my plan," I took a deep breath. "Ready?"

"When you talk to them, don't mention anything in the past. Okay? Stick to Forks, Bella, plans for the future… ones that don't involve crime, of any kind."

"Alice, I'm not that-"

"Mention college, Charlie talking to Bella. School, even."

"Okay, Alice, really-"

"Straight-forward, but not blunt. Honest, just don't… over share. No delving, no 'making them feel better' by bringing up a story from when we were growing up."

"Seriously-" I was smiling and couldn't help it. Being truly mad at her, never.

"I know," she laughed. "Don't you feel calmer now?"

"… actually, yes." We had time, I lit my final cigarette. "Tell Jasper, that way. Straightforward, and without over-sharing. He'll appreciate it, don't worry about what he's going to think."

"We weren't talking about Jasper," she sighed. "Focus with me for a second?"

"Yes, we were. It's why you're here. And I don't want to have gone on a tangent, leaving you still worried about his inability to accept change."

"Edward," she grinned ruefully, "that's not exactly-"

"So, we're back to Jasper," I prompted her. "Go with it."

She settled back into place, thinking. "Tell him what? 'I don't want you to go, but don't leave because of me?'" she looked dubious. "That sounds idiotic, even to me. Pretentious, too."

"You're dating him. You're part of his life. What's pretentious about that? It's honest, which is even better. Add detail, though, don't just blurt it out like that, y'know? You're good with emotions and talking about them. Why is this different from anything else?"

"It just… is." she looked at me seriously, eyes deep blue. "His future, Edward. That's not something you throw away for… it's not something he should have to choose, between-"

"Those are the details you want to add." I put the joint out and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "Next time you push me to say something to Bella, remember this moment."

"That's different, too," she smiled. "You're easier. That's why I come to you for help with all of this. You're rational, helpfully blunt, too, most of the time."

I sprayed some Axe into the air and walked through it. Girly, maybe, but less suspicious than smelling like I had purposefully doused myself. The house was still. This time of the afternoon always felt like this, but… like when I first stepped through the broken window of a house. Still, expectant. It made me feel edgy.

"They're home, right?"

"You don't hear them in the kitchen?" she looked at me, surprised.

Small clattering sounds coming from a pot on the stove. We were having tacos tonight, I could smell the meat simmering already. I wasn't sure if this were the results of a really good high or if… fuck nerves.

"I'm just-"

"Nervous?" Alice supplied.

"No. Nervous? Fuck that. I'm just… distracted."

"Oh," she hid a smile. "Distracted, right. I got it."

"Don't make me ruffle your hair."

"Do it and your plan will go up in flames." She smiled triumphantly at me and walked into the kitchen. Fine. Fair enough.

"Edward," Carlisle glanced at me as I started setting the table, "you have mail. I opened it without looking, and-"

"Yeah, I meant to talk with you both about that… um, no big deal or anything. You know how I like to plan things out…"

"What are you planning?" Esme asked, cooling a spoonful of chili. Carlisle leaned over as she held the spoon up for him.

"Perfect," he kissed her neck. "Though you may want to add a few more tomatoes. You might find it lacking."

Forks, knives, spoons, plates were in their proper place. Everyone had a drink of some kind, I would in a second. Napkins were underneath the plates… what else was there to do?

"Which of Dale's sports cars did you buy? A Christmas present for Bella, maybe?"

"Um…" Apparently Dale hadn't written a note. "The keys aren't to a car."

"Did you get her a truck?" Esme pulled the warmed taco shells out of the microwave. "They're not exactly gas efficient, but Bella seems rather attached to hers. Did you get a newer version?"

"So, um, do you guys want to sit down and everything before I start this conversation? I don't think you'll be… upset… I just think it would be good if you were in a more serious mind frame."

"Edward," Esme asked me very carefully. "Does this concern Bella?"

"Yes."

She closed her eyes briefly before fixing me with a very direct stare. "Is Bella pregnant?"

Was she- what? What? "No!" I felt light-headed. "Jesus! I wouldn't have- you think I'd- She's not _pregnant_. Why do people keep assuming-"

"It was a valid concern," Carlisle replied. "The way you were looking at us-"

"Okay," Alice cut in, "I think everyone should sit down… think for a minute." She let tension-reducing silence stretch before continuing. "Edward, you did phrase things a little too carefully. That tone's never led to happy news."

"Sorry. Good point." I had been gauging their reaction, not breaking completely life-changing news. "No, basically, since everyone's sitting anyway… the keys that you've seen, they're for Dale's summer house."

"How are they doing? I love Janie!" Alice smiled warmly, breaking through the lingering tension. "And Alex, how is she?"

"They're good, so far as I know. Busy, which is why he agreed to rent me their Washington cabin… on the off chance I'll, um, want it."

"Which you might because you've been looking at colleges around here, right?" Alice asked.

"Right," I agreed. "Bella, too. And it's not as though I'm itching to move out or anything. I just… you all know me… I like space. Not _space_, just-"

"Instead of dorming, having Bella move in here, or you there… you might need somewhere closer to cities if you're both going to commute. And that's why Dale's house is perfect. It really is," she said to Carlisle and Esme. "Close to Port Angeles, shopping's going to be important. Far enough from the city that they'll still breathe 'country' air. They'll have neighbors so it's not as though they'll be in the middle of nowhere."

Alice was amazing. She knew these details… and she had never seen the house. Even with her detailed Washington State itinerary, there was no way she had looked into real-estate around Forks. All of these details were because she knew me. I needed to get her a serious present.

"I've gone through all of the figures, I know how much I have in the bank… and you guys know how much is around the house." Carlisle put his arm around Esme's chair. I half-grinned at her when one of her eyebrows quirked at the reminder. There was nothing but amusement and, faintly, remembered shock. "With what Bella's bringing, we have enough to last four years before needing to find new sources of income."

"I'd like to go over those figures with you later."

"I have the document on my computer," I replied, meeting his eyes. "I'll print it out and see if they match what you have in mind?"

"I'm hungry," Esme said, reaching for the tacos. "No use letting the food get cold."

They were processing, but not badly. I felt the knots in my stomach ease. It's one of the reasons I loved pot. I hadn't been aware of them until now. Sure, I had hesitated a few times, and my delivery could have been better… so long as they weren't frowning, doing the 'Doctor' hide-my-feelings thing.

Esme handed me a bowl of grated cheddar cheese. "Has Bella talked about this with her Dad yet?"

"Yeah… um, he has a few questions for us. Me, her, together. She mentioned, if you both do, too… we should all, you know, sit down like this and talk it out."

"Nice idea," Alice smiled.

"Four years," Carlisle said. "The same amount of time it would take to get a bachelor's degree."

"Uh, yeah, now that you mention it."

"That's a nice bit of maneuvering you did," he commented. "Procuring the house from Dale and Janie? You must have been working on that for a while."

"A week or so," I shrugged. "He offered a long time ago, long story. I just happened to remember. It was curiosity that sparked things, to be honest. I wanted to know if his proposition had been a legitimate one. To know if he were being genuine. For once, I was wrong. He meant it, hence the keys."

"Edward!" Esme spoke. "Don't tell me you called him up, out of the blue, just to…"

"He usually calls around this time, anyway," I explained. It had made sense to me. "Because they make the trip to Washington before the Christmas rush? I left a message for him first this year, that's all." It still didn't make sense, the surprise in her voice. "He shouldn't have offered if he didn't mean for me to, one day, remember and call it in."

"When would you be looking to move out?" Carlisle asked, eyes slightly guarded.

"I'm not _looking_ to _move out_, y'know? As backup, in case Bella said yes, she was game to try the whole… couple thing, that's why I started researching. It all went pretty quickly after that. Dale got back to me faster than I thought he would, next thing you know… the plan became tentative instead of shadowy."

"Shadowy," Alice repeated. "I like it. Thanks for that."

"No problem." An obscenely wonderful present for her. I'd find something. "If it happens, and it might not… we would probably start moving in August? Does that sound right?" I could be packed and moved in three days, but that was pick-up-and-go moving. We were done with all of that.

"School would start mid-September," Alice mused. "The place is, what, half an hour away?"

"About that, yes." I didn't drive normally, following the speed limit… yeah, thirty minutes sounded right. If there were ever an emergency, we could make it here in ten. I tested it, and while I preferred not to hit serious triple digits on the speedometer… I had to know.

"That's months away," she waved a hand. "Not saying anything's going to happen, but there's plenty of time to go over details in the meantime. No instant decisions need to be made right now. You're not moving until high-school's over, right?"

"Definitely not," I shook my head. "Besides, you could keep the keys until then. Put them somewhere safe, I mean."

"Because you can't get into the house another way," Carlisle asked.

"Dad!" Alice gasped, laughing. It was infectious. I snorted, choked on pieces of taco, Esme clapped me on the back a few times until I had regained my breath.

"Well, I really can't think of any questions at the moment," she said, finally. "You, Alice, you've covered everything. Carlisle?"

"I'd like to see this place first, I think. I can see a few big talks happening, but… I'm too full to think." He threw his napkin over the plate and pushed his chair back a little from the table.

"Leave the dishes, go do homework or something productive." There was no irritation in Esme's tone. Playfulness, not sarcasm. That tone always made me feel strange. In a good way. "Is Jasper coming over later? Bella?"

"Not that I know of," I said.

Alice shrugged. "I'm not sure. He's been helping his Dad this afternoon. When he's done, he'll text me."

Esme leaned back and put her legs over Carlisle's. They were going to talk. That was our cue. I half-waved awkwardly expecting them to call me back.

"Are you okay? I did alright with fielding questions, huh?"

"Fuck yes," I pulled her into a hug. "Thank you for that, really."

"Psh. That was nothing." I saw her eyes go distant. "I've got an art idea, I'll come find you later?"

"Not sad?"

"No," she grinned. "Not sad at all."

Good. I still hadn't hear anything and Alice had markedly closed her door. Aside from their low laughter, I didn't hear anything else coming from the kitchen. Okay, then. What else did I have to do tonight? Homework. I closed my door and turned the overhead lights off. I'd give it ten or twenty minutes before I smoked up again. Until then, I pulled out my phone.

"Hey," Bella said apprehensively. "How'd it go?" Her voice was lowered, she was alone in her room.

We ate late, Alice and I had been used to having dinner around eight at night. It didn't happen often, but now that we were older… I guess, Carlisle and Esme didn't have a problem with taking late shifts at the hospital. Both of them were careful not to get anywhere near their old work pace, and I knew it was because they wanted to spend time with us, not because we kept them from what they truly wanted to do.

"Well, I think. They're talking about it now. I'm pretty sure I surprised them again."

"Good! That's good though, right? Surprise of the fun variety?"

"Hopefully," I sighed. "Keep me company while I wait to smoke?"

"Sure," I heard her smile. "Come get me tomorrow, I'll roll you a cigarette."

"Done," I immediately agreed. "And now that I'm thinking about school, what are we going to do about the Spanish project? We have… a week now. A lot of episodes to get through… I don't know about you, but I don't want to watch the soap opera all day, procrastinating like I usually do."

"I'll do the work if you present it to the class."

"No way. I don't mind translating, or speaking in front of people. That's not a problem."

"I've already got my half done…"

"Oh. Shit," I laughed. "Never mind then. I'll finish wherever you left off."

"I didn't know you were waiting for me! We do homework together, but not together, you know? It leaves time for other… studying." There were rustling sounds coming from her side. "Sorry about that. I was cold."

"You're in bed?"

"I am now."

I smiled and laid down on the couch. "Is your Dad asleep?"

"Not yet," she replied. "He will be soon."

"Want me to distract you until then?" Fuck, I wish she were here.

"I thought _I_ was supposed to be distracting you?" Bella pointed out. "Is your door locked?"

"Pull out your toy, babe. The silent one. Fuck." I was hard just thinking about her. "My doors locked, don't worry."

"He just got in the shower," she said without speaking as quietly.

_Fuck yes._ "Lay back, baby. I want to hear you come for me."

"I love your voice," she groaned. "I've told you that, right? Fucking incredible."

My cock was already throbbing for her. All from that one little noise, barely audible over the phone.

"Drive slow tomorrow, okay? I want to thank you on the way to school."

"And if I pull over?" I asked. "Find a back street somewhere?"

I heard her gasp, "I'll wear a skirt, promise." I knew one of her outfits was forthcoming. Fuck. "Find a good place in school and you can take me any time you want."

So many possibilities. How much could we get away with? It was worth some contemplation. One or two scenarios now, they would be easy to do. I'd have to find a way to top her Computer Room plan.

"You've no idea what you just promised."

"I'm down for whatever you have planned."

I grinned, her phrasing was perfect. "Are you."

"Oh yeah," she laughed. "Want to share details?"

... ... ...

Her hands were on my shoulders, I could feel her nails through the cotton of my shirt. Sitting in the passenger side seat, I was reclined far back as the seat could go. Bella straddled my waist, arched her upper body back toward the dashboard as I moved in and out of her. I took one of her nipples into my mouth, felt her pause for a second before her hips slammed into mine. I was able to get deeper within her this way, but… that's not always what I wanted.

Leaning up, my mouth on her throat, I bit down gently and felt her shudder. I took her hips, moved her down as I thrust up, hard. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressed her chest against mine.

"Relax. Be still for a second." I could feel her pulse racing, her quick pants of breath on the side of my throat. "I told you that this is one of the things I'd do."

She cried out as I slammed her down on my cock. Fast, faster, I held my breath as I felt her clench down around me. Rocking her hips, her arms tightened as she gasped. An idea formed. I slid lower in the seat, she brought her legs in closer to my body. Fuck. Grabbing blindly for my jacket, I threw it over the seatbelt holster on my left.

"Put your knee here, babe. On top of the jacket. Move your other leg over for me? Toward the door." Would it work? Fuck, she was so fucking tight… shifting, another shudder ran through her body. I took her hips again, when she moved forward I brought my hips up so that her clit brushed against me. Shifting her forward, I couldn't tell if I were hitting her g-spot with the condom on.

"Oh _fuck_," Bella swore. "Edward- please, it's-"

The way she said, 'please.' _Fuck_. I pulled her head back, watched the flush spread over her face. She put her hands on the side of my throat, tested my grip. Smiling wickedly, she gasped, her lips brushed against mine. I got a better grip, watched her eyelashes flutter. Slowing down, I sped up when I felt her shift against me for more.

Her lips were red, she had put the condom on with her mouth. Took her time about it. Jesus. My hips bucked up into hers harder than I meant to- Bella's body froze, I felt her muscles constrict around the shaft of my cock. My eyes rolled back, she felt so fucking _good_. I knew it wasn't hurting her, and this was rougher than I'd have dared before. She came, hard. Burning, I throbbed as she took over, pleasure rising higher as she moved… there was no way I could make her move like this. It was a purely feminine thing, and fuck; I sucked hickeys onto her chest, breathed her in.

"Come one more time for me, baby." I was close and I knew she had gone to sleep wanting me. A cold shower worked for me this morning, but by the time she got into the car, all she had to do was glance down at my lap…

She fit against me so fucking well. I loved the way she was able to look me in the eyes, make my vision blur before I had to throw my head back. She was careful of my ink, I remembered hers. And still, I felt her teeth nip at my neck. She groaned my name again, came for the second time. The churning in my stomach, I was so fucking hard it nearly hurt… Bella's teeth on my shoulder. She was biting me lightly.

I laughed, she inhaled and exhaled slowly, coming down. We didn't have much time, but I really, really couldn't care. I felt so good. Relaxed. She felt good, settled, Bella kissed my cheek before resting her head back on my shoulder. I had to open one of the windows. It was hot in the car, all of the windows were fogged. They needed to not be by the time we reached school. Fuck forbid…

She straightened her skirt, climbed off me and stood next to the car. The corset she was wearing zipped up the front. I wrapped the condom in a tissue and got my pants back into place. She slipped on a flannel shirt and left it unbuttoned. Nothing she wore matched today, I liked it. Her flannel over-shirt was green and black. The skirt she wore was black and white, the lines vertical, a direct contrast to her beige and black jail-band thigh-high stockings. Instead of heels, she wore flat boots made of fabric rather than leather.

"Sexy as hell," I kissed her.

"Thank you," she grinned. "You've got to drive like hell if we're going to make homeroom."

"You loved it."

"You'll love that I have two more condoms…"

"Fuck, do I." I blasted the heat as I pulled out of the makeshift parking space. "In gym class, I'll bump into you. Fall, okay? I'll take you to the nurse."

"Going to play doctor again?"

I laughed again. "That'd be too easy. I'll think of something."

All throughout homeroom I was busy planning. What rooms were there from the gym to the nurse's office? That were available? Not many. The stairwell was too risky. We couldn't sneak back into the locker-rooms. I really wasn't going to take Bella in one of the school bathrooms. Even I had standards.

As I passed the puck to one of my teammates, I nearly collided into someone else as I saw the curtain for the stage. It was down. … no. Could we, really? How risky was it? Was I thinking clearly? The only thing separating us from the entire gym would be two layers of heavy velvet curtain. I couldn't think of anywhere else, though. It would be quiet enough, there was a lot going on at the moment.

I made eye-contact with Bella. She nodded slightly, focused on the other team. The puck was passed to me, I pretended that I didn't see her. And… scored a goal. She smiled sheepishly, shrugged. "Sorry, my instincts took over."

The second time, she braced and didn't fall. The third, I was laughing as she pivoted away, a maneuver that impressed me at the same time. I took hold of her waist, took two steps back and made it look as though I had tripped over her. My arm cushioned her head, I used momentum to keep us from collapsing into a pile on the floor. Coach's whistle sounded, she giggled as I dug my fingers into her ribs.

"So did mine," I whispered into her hair. "Want me again, baby?"

"You've no idea," she replied. "Get ready… Look serious on the count of three." Rubbing her elbow, Bella laughed and tried to look pained at the same time.

"What's going on here? Cullen, do you have some sort of personal grudge against Ms. Swan?"

"Uh, no, Coach-"

"We aren't playing football, you notice you're holding a hockey stick?"

"Yeah, I did notice that."

"Then why were you trying to tackle her? She-"

"That was my fault," Bella spoke up. "I was trying to work up the courage to take a pass. And… I get in the way sometimes, accidentally. I think I hurt my arm, though. My elbow, it feels weird."

"Your elbow," he repeated, running a hand across his face.

"You should go to the nurse," I said, to Bella. Boyfriend mode.

"Good," he replied, responsibility shifted to the school and away from him. "Take her to the nurse. Let me know what the verdict is."

"Sure thing, Coach. Should we change first, or-"

"No, go," he interrupted me. "Do that later, when you come back. Go, get her off the field."

We walked out of the gym. The halls were deserted, but that could change any second from now. Four doors up, it was the smallest of them. It had no window, I remembered people in band holding their instruments, waiting to file onto the stage.

"It's the only place I could think of," I admitted.

"Fine by me. Not too dangerous, you're sure?"

"There's an exit on the other side if we need it. We should be pretty hidden."

The door was locked. She met my eyes, glanced up and down the hall.

"Don't need to tell me twice. Watch my back a second," Bella pulled a pin out of her hair, knelt level with the door. So much for my keychain. She had this under control. The door sprang open, she hastened through and I followed closely behind her. I caught the door before it slammed behind us. Sounds from the gym were muted, the air was heavy and still. We wouldn't easily be heard.

"You look really good in those gym shorts," I had to let her know.

"Funny how my sweatpants keep disappearing."

"Do they?"

"You relocate them," she reiterated.

"Maybe you'll find the pants when I find a few of my shirts…" I nipped at her neck when she pushed at my chest.

" Doubtful," she pulled at my black undershirt. "I want this one too, please."

"Of course you do." I growled low in my throat, pulled her in against me. A drum set, two speakers, racks of folding chairs, a few music stands. Hm. It would have to be the speakers. Everything else would make too much noise. We were making sure to stay toward the back of the stage, no one would see us walking around from the other side.

Bella wrapped her leg around my waist, ground her hips on mine. I took her wrists with one hand, remembering the dance. We needed to be fast, and I was still feeling adrenaline from gym class. Aggressive, but not in a bad way. The look in Bella's eyes, where I knew she was anticipating some dark version of fun… fuck. Grabbing her hips, I moved her over to the two speakers. They were stacked on their sides, one on top of the other. No adjustment necessary. She lay back, put her legs around my waist again.

I stripped out of the undershirt. The speakers placement was either really convenient, or… I raised Bella's hips and draped the shirt over the surface she was lying on. I also took the opportunity to divest her of both shorts and panties. The condom was easy enough to rip open-

"Hang on a second," Bella moved higher on the speakers. Letting her head hang down over the top, I groaned low in my throat. Her hand on my thigh prompted me to move closer. I loved the way her mouth was always so wet, how she used her tongue to make me throb. She knew I liked it this way… and when I felt the head of my cock slide past her tonsils, fuck yes, this was why. Her throat was so much tighter this way, oh my _fuck_. I played with her nipples as she took me deeper, stopped herself from gagging. When I felt her twitch, moan, I helped her lay back onto the speaker.

"Come here, babe," I slid the condom on as she moved her hands to my arms. Sliding down, she raised her hips as I thrust into her. So wet, already. She bit her lip as I continued, faster than I normally started. Her fingers were hard on my arms, I slowed down for a few seconds as her eyes rolled back. She arched her back down so that her clit got friction against the shaft of my cock. Arching her lower back in a different way as I slid partially out of her, I had to grit my teeth as her muscles tightened around me. Taking her hips, I let my head fall back for a second or two. This is how it should have been in the car.

"So- much- better," I groaned in relief.

"Mm," Bella moved her arms under mine. I felt her nails scorch a trail down over my shoulders. "Fuck _yes_."

I laughed low as her breath caught. Her nails stopped their descent, dug in. She gasped once, twice, I moved into her harder and felt her come. Putting my arm around her waist, she pulled me down until my chest was pressed to hers. I braced over her, thrust shallowly as her body built again.

She kissed me using her tongue, teeth, her hands moving up and down my back… when she moved her legs up on either side of me, I relented before stopping again, buried far as I could get. Aftershocks were still rippling through her. Focusing entirely on Bella, I timed how I moved to what her body told me she wanted.

When I felt her come again, all of the sensation I had pushed aside came crashing back. Upside, downside, I could never be sure. She felt so fucking good… I moved back, felt my entire being protest pulling out of her. Had I- Bella was suddenly on her stomach, legs spread, waiting for me. Her hands flat on top of the boxes sides, she looked over her shoulder and smiled. The smile that told me I had manhandled her again, that she liked it a lot. And then her eyebrow quirked.

She was satisfied, but the half-challenge was still there. I grinned at her. "Thank you." I had been close, yet now… leaning over her again, I pinned her in place with my body. One of her hands came up to cover my wrist as I held her close. The speakers didn't move under us, they were sturdy. Thank fuck for that.

I kissed her shoulder, at the very start of her new ink. Moving my right arm between her legs, I let my fingers press firmly against her. Bella didn't flinch away, though I did feel her writhe back onto me as I moved my index and middle finger in small circles over and around her. I let her lean against the speaker for support, satisfied when she was standing more steadily.

Her head fell back on my shoulder. I felt her shudder, shudder harder. That was new. Fuck. Surprise cut through determination. I moved my fingers faster, lighter. The way she was making her internal muscles squeeze harder… she came so fucking _hard_. I moved my hand away, took deep breaths as I tried to hang onto sanity. Part of me had forgotten we were on stage, technically still in gym class.

But before I could embrace reality, I was lost. Thrown over the cliff, off the edge. Done for. I buried my mouth against her neck and bit down gently, focusing on how her skin felt under my tongue, how I shouldn't bite down hard… my body relaxed slowly, I could stand again. Bella stood with me, wrapped her arms around my neck. The Coach's whistle was muted as I closed my eyes, energy returning.

I reached into my pockets, grabbed some tissues. She took some, after taking care of the condom, I turned my back to give her privacy as I picked up wrapper pieces. When her arms wound around my front, Bella pressed against my back, I didn't flinch. She seemed surprised, too, because I felt her truly relax shortly thereafter.

"The stage," I heard her say. "Genius, Edward. Truly."

"Thanks." I turned around, kissed her before, regretfully, making my way to the door. "I'm glad you didn't mind go along with it."

"I trust you," she smiled. "And I had one or two bad, but backup, excuses in the making."

I laughed, opening the door for her. "I doubt they were bad."

"Where to now?" she asked. "Head to the Nurse's Office, grab a cigarette on the way back?"

"Nice."

"And the bathroom," Bella added. "Do you mind waiting here for a second?"

"Nope," I leaned back against the wall. "I'll be here."

The Nurse gave her an ice pack, we snuck out for a cigarette before heading back to gym. With four minutes left to class, Bella and I changed and managed to have one last cigarette together. We both had homework to do during the rest of our classes. Her system matched mine. Get the morning's homework done during lunch or in the class after, most of the time she and I would have some alone time in my car. Study for tests on the drive, during home-room. Do afternoon homework for an hour before sleeping, most of it was done before the day started.

Time management was a wonderful thing. And I wasn't going to make it a competition or anything, but I was pretty sure that Bella read faster than I did. Not by much, yet… I had seen the way she tore through books when they really interested her. I was lagging and she had made it through half of her list already.

With the holidays approaching, I foresaw a lot of reading time. Thanksgiving was fine. Christmas, I still felt awkward around the end of December. Alice said once that I couldn't handle all of the love in the air. That was as good an excuse as any. It made the most sense. Something about it… fucking weird, the entire thing.

"So, guys," Alice said, as we were getting lunch. "Talk to me about Thanksgiving, Christmas."

"Oh Jesus Christ."

"Don't even start," she warned me. "You liked Halloween this year-"

"That makes no sense. I've always liked Halloween."

"- so, you'll love Christmas this year, too. There's the dance to think about, you're both going?" Her eyes said, yes, yes we would be.

"You realize that October _just_ ended, right?" I asked. "And I know you hate when stores start advertising Santa stuff before November's decorations go up." I added two sandwiches and two different bottles of Snapple to my lunch tray.

"I do, but-"

"So, considering the fact that it's November 1st… we can put this conversation on hold for, what, two weeks?"

"Howdy, ya'll," Jasper hopped the lunch-line railing and put his arm around Alice's shoulder, kissed her temple. "What's up, darlin'?"

"I was trying to talk to Edward and Bella about Christmas," she made a face at me. "And Edward's being difficult."

"Christmas?" Jasper repeated. "What happened to Thanksgiving?"

Bella laughed with me, though she looked apologetic as I grinned at Alice. "See?"

"Do you guys not celebrate Turkey Day here? It's a country-wide thing, so far as I knew."

"We celebrate it," Bella replied. "You just helped prove Edward's point, that's all."

"And it's okay," Alice said, sighing playfully at Jasper. "You didn't know. Besides, they're going to go and poison themselves in a minute, anyway."

"Good idea." I paid the cashier. "Ham and cheese for you," I handed Bella her sandwich. "Mango Snapple good?"

"Mm, yes. Thank you."

"Later, guys," Alice rolled her eyes at us. "Have fun."

I would have found time to use the last condom, but Bella actually ate the sandwich instead of putting it aside for 'later..' With all of the energy we had burned, my stomach had felt hollow, making demands for food. We ended up going back in to get cookies, chips, and some more soda after finishing one of our joints. There was time for one last cigarette before we heard the bell ring.

"Already?" she asked, looking confused. "What happened?"

"We didn't make it to my car," I laughed. "Do you have plans with Charlie tonight?"

She shook her head, no. "He's working late tonight. We have a soap opera to translate, anyway. The project's due really, really soon. What about Carlisle and Esme?"

"At the hospital until nine tonight," I smiled. "Yeah, I was thinking about homework."

A quick stop at my locker, hers… and we were back after Spanish class. We had been put into four-people groups in order to go over class reading. No time to sneak away, and I didn't want to miss class for another few days. We were pushing the envelope a little too hard, I was starting to get that feeling. Where it felt as though teachers were watching me, trying to tell if cutting was going to become a problem. Allay their fears, hopefully long enough for the school year to end, while taking the occasional day off, guaranteed to get away with it. I needed the homework time, anyway.

Besides, I didn't know if Bella wanted to do the whole Prom thing. But if she did, too many absences could get us banned from attending. We'd be stoned as fuck for it, I knew that much. If Alice told her she would be able to see me in a suit, it was a toss-up. She would want to go, or she'd opt out of dressing up in order to kick back with me, possibly in a hotel room.

"I really don't mind helping," Bella said as we closed the door to my room. The endless argument, started once again.

"I know you don't. But you did your portion of the project, and I'm not going to have you do the whole thing because you don't want to talk in front of the class."

"It's a pretty fair trade. You don't know how much I hate public speaking."

"Just… no," I laughed, unable to think of a better reason.

"Do you mind music while we translate?" she asked, hooking my Ipod to the speakers.

"While _I_ translate?" I asked. "No, go for it."

"Oh my god," she laughed. "Edward, really?"

"What?"

The song played and I flinched inside. "Alice," I said immediately. Savage Garden, and no, it wasn't sad that I knew them by the song opening. Liking one song didn't make me a fan.

"Sure," Bella grinned. "Whatever you say."

She danced gracefully over to where I was sitting on the couch. Climbing onto my lap, she rocked her hips against mine, wound her hands through my hair. I took her hips and was surprised to feel her stand, taking me with her. Ballroom dancing in my bedroom. She twirled in a small circle, pressed herself against my side.

I wrapped an arm around her waist, moved my body against hers. She put her arms around my neck, sang along with the song. Maneuvering so that we were on the other side of the couch, Bella immediately hopped up so that she sat on the back cushions. Her phone rang, a ring-tone I had never heard before. I felt the vibration through my pants.

"That would be Renee," she looked surprised. "If I don't answer, she'll keep texting until I call her back."

"By all means." I went to lower the music. "Want me to step out?"

"Of your own room?" she snorted. "No way."

Right… this was my room. Well, fuck it. The entire rest of the house, technically, was mine too. It didn't matter where I happened to be, and giving Bella privacy had seemed like a good idea. She didn't exactly look thrilled to take the call.

This would, however, give me a chance to see what her Mother was like. She didn't talk very much about Renee, or Phil. Nothing about Arizona, where she had lived before. I cared, but not enough to ask before she was ready to share. Some stories needed to simmer before they were ready to be told.

"Hey, Mom." She sighed, sank back onto the couch. "Yeah, I know it's been a while since I called. Um, lots of school work, you know? I'm going to be on the honor roll again… yup, mostly A's."

I went over to my drawer, got out my grinder. It didn't always work, but it would be faster than breaking pot up on my own. Bella had the fingernails to pull the leaves apart. If I were going to roll a blunt, we'd be fine. The paper wouldn't tear, but with my penchant for leaving large clusters intact…

"Thanksgiving? Um… not sure. I don't want to miss the holidays here, I mean, Dad doesn't really have anyone to celebrate with, and you've got Phil…"

It worked today. Nice. Grabbing the EZ-wide papers, I rolled a joint quickly, handed it to Bella. She leaned over as I sparked it for her, inhaled and smiled at me thankfully. Nothing warranted getting high like difficult conversations.

"Before Thanksgiving? Um… it might be possible. I'm not sure when school break starts, but I'll call you soon as I find out." … "No, Mom, I'm home. You know I never keep school stuff. I've got a Planner in my locker, I'll call you about it tomorrow." … "Yeah, I miss you too."

I took the joint, inhaled. The beginning high helped me concentrate better. Bella was staring at the ceiling, a neutral expression in place. I didn't like it. At all. Devoid of all emotion, her eyes guarded and narrowed…

"Another position change? Well, good for him, I guess." … "Close to going Pro, I'm really excited for him." Her tone was flat, the barest hint of forced enthusiasm slipping through her otherwise emotionless phrasing. "Mom, I don't really want to talk about Phil. It was always weird, and…"

She sighed again, I handed her a cigarette when she started glancing around at the couch.

"I am supportive. I really am. Phil's… well, he's determined. And you're optimistic enough to carry him through these 'rough patches.' So long as everything's good between the two of you, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." … "Dad and I don't talk about him, we don't talk about Arizona. I'm busy studying, really, you know how I am. I hole myself away…"

Bella reached for my hand, put it over her throat. Pressing down, wrapping my fingers around her neck, I smiled at her and shook my head.

"Unless…" I paused, smirked at her, "what are your thoughts on necrophilia? Skull fucking?"

She sat up, stared at me. Her eyes yelled, 'Edward!' But my over-the-top vulgarity had worked. She was smiling, at least, shaking her head at me.

"I was kidding," I whispered. "You looked like you needed a distraction."

"I'll call more, Mom. And, yeah, I _might_ see you in two weeks. Something to look forward to, right? I'll get back to you on that asap."

What? It hadn't crossed my mind, Bella going back to Phoenix for the holidays. Shit. I couldn't very well invite myself along. … but godamnit, she wasn't _safe_ there. Renee sounded immature, Bella had taken the tone a parent would for their child more than once.

"I don't have your black jacket. It's probably in the hall closet. I reorganized my room a few days ago, I'd remember if I saw it." She closed her eyes, striving for patience. "I'll _call you_. Promise. I love you, and keep me updated. … Great, okay. Love you. … Bye, Mom." Bella hung up. "Skull fucking, Edward? Really?"

"The Cannibal Corpse poster. I see it and think, 'skull fuck.' I'm not sure why."

"That's not weird at all," she laughed and stayed silent a few seconds. "There's no way to avoid this conversation, huh?"

"We don't need to have it if you don't feel like talking." I sat down next to her on the couch again.

"Thanks. But… yeah, as you've probably gathered… I might be going to Phoenix in two weeks. Have Thanksgiving early with Mom, though I've no idea where she's going to find the money. If I get there early enough, I'll do the grocery shopping and cooking on my own. That's probably what she's expecting, anyway."

"What is she going to do if you don't go? Come get you? Drag you back?" I changed direction, not wanting to continue down that path. "She shouldn't assume things like that."

"No, it would be worse than anger," Bella looked years older all of a sudden. "She'll be hurt if I don't show up. And she shouldn't assume, but I've always been glad to cook for them. Why would that have changed, y'know? It would only be for a couple of days… and I'm not planning anything yet. There's a slim chance Dad can talk to her, postpone all of these plans until after December."

"Okay…" Which would still result in her going back to Arizona.

"And I'll get to visit with Rose, I've missed her. I can't lie. If she's still with Emmett by the time I get there… I'd really love to see her with a boyfriend."

… she wanted to go. Fuck. There wasn't much I could do about things now. Well, there were… but they'd be really shitty, manipulative maneuvers. I couldn't do that to Bella, and there was a slim chance she'd see right through them. Manipulating a manipulator, risky business. She was very good, I had no problems admitting it.

"So there's no use in worrying about it until after I talk to Dad, check to see how expensive the flights are going to be. Because if they're over-the-top crazy… well, Mom's going to have to wait. I don't control airline prices."

"Very true." I didn't know what else to say. Going along with what her line of reasoning seemed sound. She hadn't said anything I didn't agree with. Yet. And it looked as though Alice and I were going to be talking again soon. I could relate a lot better with her situation now. Fuck. Fuck Arizona, fuck Bella's mother, fuck Phil. Just… fuck. How the hell could I protect her from Washington? All of my contacts… none of them in Arizona.

I had no idea what to do.

**Authors End Note:**  
So sorry it took so long. I'm not sure what happened to Edward and Bella, they weren't as talkative this month. The phone-call Bella received has been an idea that's circled in my head for months. The story is at the ¾ mark. That's probably why updates have been so slow. Five or six more chapters and… Handcuff Bracelet will be finished. Not sure how I feel about that yet aside from sad.  
**Authors End Note 2:**  
**Astha Cullen-**  
I don't think Edward's suffering from any psychological disorders. That might be a lie. I'm sure he has a lot of symptoms, and I doubt he's truly okay, but only time will tell. Are they survival tactics that he's learned, defense mechanisms that will fade as he continues to feel safe… or is there something truly wrong with him? A chemical inbalance of some sort. I don't know how detailed I want to go with that, so… for now, he'll stay a rather twisted person, who tries to do good in bad ways?  
**Christykq-**  
I'm running out of ways to keep Edward badass. I've been focusing more on how 'human' he is, while soothing his pride as I give him 'masculine' moments. Haha. Thank you for your story love, Christy!  
**Dazzleglo-**  
I'm glad you continue to be happy. =)  
**Valleegrl, 1dreamkeeper, Janshanr, svollgraf, chavy c, inomniaperatus2, DreamingDane, bookfreaklover, Edwardsbrunette2, san4jon, tiffanyashm, Minnakoda, Maplestyle, sachii, DodgerMcClure, AngelaSampedro99, Erikajo, devildogbully, Charliebella, MrsJasperWhitlock2009, jbquinn, MariaLorenzen, MyEdwardJacob, ChickenBPieXxXx, The-Book-Goth, Klel323, JaspersEmotionalGirl, Inav, bearygirl, Gottverdammit, FFFan1664, stillwaters72**-  
I've recognized a Lot of familiar names on the list. I usually write back in more detail for you, and I'm so, so sorry I can't right now. I'll do my best to make it up to all of you. Thanks for all of your reviews, I read every single one of them. I take note of your suggestions, constructive criticism. I wish I had time to answer all of them, one by one.  
**Fallenangel2010-**  
Jesus. Thank you so much, fallen! I'm happy that you liked the chapters, and that you liked Rose after such a small introduction on my part. Thanks for that!  
**Karen4honor-**  
You continue to rock my world, babe. Thanks for your help. =D.

For Chapter 41, the submerging underwater thing made me pause for a good few days. I didn't want it to end traumatically, but I wasn't sure how to write a scene like that Without it ending badly, you know?  
**Vtweetymccn-** |  
Thanks for all of your support, Vt!

I got your dream, and I'll do my best. Haha. ^_^

Edward had the chance to meet a model from the Victoria's Secret company. It's the only reason he attended the event, despite his 'charitable' façade. He thought Bella was going to be jealous, and she wasn't. He gave her the cuff Halloween night right before he went onstage.  
**Cat5050**  
Thanks for the comment about bulls weighing more than 400 pounds. Yeah, I went back and fixed that. =).  
**ccaajjaa-**  
Going to watch another movie streaming tonight! After I imdb Christian Kane, haha. I didn't realize he'd been in movies, I focus on Angel and Leverage when I hear his voice in my head. Thanks!  
**BeastyB-**  
Always happy to hear that Adam Lambert is supported! He rocks my world, I love how unapologetic he is. It's damn refreshing. Thank you!  
**Jansails-**  
I'll go back and edit that if I haven't already. I think I got a lot of comments like yours, saying that chapter 38/39 was difficult to follow. My apologies, thanks for making your points. Going to repost soon!  
**Fish525-**  
Thank you! I love when people let me know they've liked the Playlist. Bella's backstory is right around the corner. I've been writing it for the past few days. Things are about to get a little gritty. Thank you for reviewing, seriously, thanks. =).  
**Bornonhalloween-**  
Wow. And wow. Thank you for taking the time to write such amazing reviews! Another MJ friendly reader? I'll gladly share with all of you.

Ah, the only thing we've disagreed on thus far. I love smoking. And I love the pictures of Robert Pattinson with a cigarette. He smokes as though he loves it, not many people do. I had to write it in, I've tried to be safe for younger readers, haha. Other characters display their disapproval, Alice never hesitates to display her disgust.

You're the only person thus far that's commented about Bella giving Edward the book. Thanks!

I can't lie. I got 'assaholic' from 'Remember Me.' References, haha, I like making them when I'm bored with average conversation between characters. Thanks for the support over my having to retell throughout POV's. I hate doing it, I really do. Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried a third-person type story, but I've no idea how I'd go about that.

I love your reviews. Going on Chapter 45 next, I'm still trying really hard to keep Edward from falling into 'Domestic' mode. I don't want him to lose his edge. So many of my favorite characters do, and I see how easy it would be to go down that path. I doubt many people would mind, but I would. You would, right? So, we'll see what twists I can throw their way…  
**Annabella Cullen P-**  
I love that quote from Spike, too. ^_^  
**Fliberty-**  
Writing Jasper, Alice, Edward, and Bella together is either really difficult, or really easy. There's been no in-between yet. Jasper's easy because of his accent, which makes Edward speaking pretty easy because he's the only other male. Distinguishing between Bella and Alice is harder with all of the ', she said,' etc. Haha. I'm glad that they've been fun to read, thanks for clearing that worry of mine.

Your reviews always make me smile, Fliberty. I deeply apologize that it's taken me this long to get back to you! They're so detailed, thanks so very much!

I'm actually glad that I focused on Edward's past first. He has more to deal with, and his strength will help Bella reveal all of what she's kept secret. Not to mention, Edward definitely has the experience To help, which, I think, needed to be made clear. Two truly broken people each dealing with some really bad shit, I think there'd be too much intensity going on. Too many stories, too much information all at once?

I've tried to clear up how Edward procured the cabin. Edward's started pulling out when he and Bella… have sex because I don't want to be irresponsible as a writer. Y'know? The things I promote really aren't good, haha. And I want people to know the risks that go along with bad ideas like driving high, having unprotected sex, skipping school, fighting. I could be a lot better about it, but then HB would lose it's story, I think.  
**LadyTx-**  
Pot decreases libido? Really? I've always heard, experienced, that being high amplifies sex, makes it better. I'll have to do some research. Thanks for that!  
**TFA's wicked tongue-**  
Thanks! The banner's awesome, thanks so much!  
**Lizbett**-  
Thank you! 41 Chapters in two days, that's impressive. Thanks for dedicating so much time to HB!  
**Latuacantante**-  
Holy eff! So. Many. Reviews. Thank you!

Damn! I have to go back and add something about Bella bringing the swelling down, covering her lip with makeup. Thanks for mentioning that detail. O.O.  
**Fantasy0506-**  
I never know what to say when people tell me they cried. I'm sorry? Thank you? I'm honored, deeply sorry for doing that to you? Lol.

**Authors End Note 3**:  
Seven more pages to go. I'll finish, and finally catch up next Chapter! Thanks everyone for reading, I can't wait to be back on your chapter time-frames!


	45. One Day At A Time

**Chapter 45  
- One Day At A Time**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.

**Authors Note 2:**  
I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated! Something felt off about the Chapter. I couldn't post until the... lack of substance, I'm not sure how else to explain, went away. It still feels a little 'iffy,' but not to the point where I have to keep it hidden away. Sorry for the delay, all!  
**Authors Note 3:**  
A quick sidenote. Not sure if anyone's interested, but I've started a blog. Eventually I'll be posting random scenes from 'The Handcuff Bracelet,' or plot updates. Figured it's a way to bring the Review Answer portion of my chapters somewhere less... restricted.  
http:/soulreaper616(dot)blogspot(dot)com/?zx=e34b3aa09d48f698

**Playlist  
****Move Your Body**- My Darkest Days  
**Bleed It Out- **Linkin Park  
**One Day At A Time- **Tupac  
**Drug Dealer Girl- **Mike Posner

**Bella's Point of View**

Mom… _no_. I kept hearing that same phrase over and over again in varying degrees of horror, resignation, and unease. It started when Renee had asked if I'd be coming home for the holidays. The rational side of me knew that her request had been expected. Just… ugh! Damnit! I knew I'd feel this way, too. Guilty, angry, frustrated, worried. November had always been an annoying month. I could understand why December felt so busy, but through all of November now, too? I didn't have that much energy. Nor did I want to partake in any of it from Phoenix.

I was looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas in Washington. It's not that I had forgotten about Rosalie, Mom, Arizona. While I knew that I'd have to go back… did it have to be so soon? Did November have to come so quickly when it felt like September and October had flown by? Where was the down-time?

I groaned and turned around in Edward's arms. He was lying behind me, my body resting safely against him. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel Edward looking at me. Did he think I was sleeping? I wasn't in the least bit tired. Life tired, but… who wasn't? I rested my forehead on Edward's chest and wrapped my arms around his back. My hips pressed down onto his and I took a moment to relax, breathe him in. Edward had gone still when Phoenix was mentioned. I could still feel the tension coiled within him, alert. Thinking.

"I might not even have to go," I said, turning my head so that my cheek rested on the ridges of his abs.

"That's very true," he replied. _'But if you do…'_ hung in the air.

"Worst case scenario, I go there by myself for a day or two, and if you'd want to… you could fly over and come back with me a few days later…"

"You'd want me to meet you out there?"

"Well, yeah," I replied, surprised. "I talk about Rose a lot, you'll get a chance to meet her. You'll get to know Emmett with me, I really don't remember him very well. There's some fun stuff to do in Phoenix, by our standards. And Renee will like getting to know you. I'd like your opinion of her, and of Phil."

"My opinion of them?" His hand had been moving up and down my back. When he stopped, I glanced up at him again.

"Yes," I said, curious. "Why was that weird?"

Edward shifted slightly, getting comfortable again. "Talking about your Mom, y'know. It just, um, sounded strange. You've said it before, but... still strange."

I bit him gently through his shirt. "You're a good judge of character. The pot's making you over-think again."

"I don't think so. Not this time." He shrugged. "We'll see."

"A long time from now," I agreed. "Nothing imminent."

"When will you talk to your Dad again?"

"Later tonight. He'll probably have gotten a call from Renee, too."

"Okay," Edward exhaled slowly. "Fuck everything until then, I guess."

It wasn't the easiest thing to do, like ignoring the metaphorical elephant in the room. We could start planning now, but… where to begin? It would all change if Charlie decided school was more important. If flights were outrageously expensive, I wouldn't be going anywhere. Renee didn't know how much money I had. Not much, if someone were to ask her. I couldn't afford a plane ticket more than two hundred dollars. Those two factors alone might be enough to keep me from traveling. I didn't know when school break was. This might not be an issue until Mid-December.

"Yes, please," I grinned at him. "Not _everything_, though. Just-" He raised his hips sharply up into mine, the rest of my sentence died as a flash of pleasure ran through my body. "Fuck, Edward," I gasped.

I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist. He pushed his hips up as tilted my pelvis down. His hands were suddenly on my waist helping to start friction that made me moan. He pulled my skirt out from under me. There was no reason to hold me in place anymore, I wasn't going anywhere. He swore as I ground down on him, then again harder when I felt him hard underneath me.

"Go lay down on the bed." His voice was low, hoarse from holding back. "We've got plenty of time."

I climbed off him letting my skirt fall as I made my way across the room. My shirt quickly followed, a girls tank top advertising the band, 'Apocalyptica.' Climbing onto the bed, I laughed when I felt him come up behind me. The mattress dipped, I moved forward to make room for him. Instead of kneeling up as I'd expected, I jumped when his arms wound around my thighs.

"Close your eyes," he said.

I shuddered, the image of his green-blue eyes looking up at me- the way he licked his bottom lip… how they slid over me so easily and felt so fucking good… He moved my legs further apart and his grip tightened. I should have known, but I cried out all the same as he started a merciless rhythm directly on my clit. Struggling to get away did no good. The way he held me in place, let me fight him. It felt good. And knowing that I had hated this, just as he was doing it now… Edward was usually very careful about starting slowly.

He growled as I almost succeeded in freeing my leg. My back arched upward, the sensations crashed together all at once. The vibration from his growl, the hard pressure of his tongue, how he had forced my body to the edge, my nerves screaming as… as he made me come? Everything froze and then something inside of me snapped.

My nails raked furrows across the blanket on his bed. I screamed through closed lips, barely remembering that Alice might be home. Edward's fingers were hard on my thigh, he still hadn't let me go. He had stopped, though, I'm not sure what I would have done if he hadn't. I didn't tear the fabric of his comforter, I noticed, but the color was lighter where I had scratched.

Letting my head hang, I caught my breath. I opened my eyes in time to see Edward slide out from under me. He took hold of my hips when he stood, dragged me toward the edge of the bed. It took less than two seconds for him to be inside of me. My body froze at the sudden, hard pace he set. It didn't hurt, but it was strange at first. As though I knew it should feel really good, but my mind hadn't caught up with the right signals from my body. And then he slammed against my g-spot.

Oh… _fuck_. The harder he pulled me back onto him, the better it felt. My head felt fuzzy, I was breathing in harsh gasps. I felt the pleasure build higher. Higher still. Edward rested one of his knees on the bed. Pushing me backwards, he raised my hips to meet his deeper thrusts. Changing his mind again, Edward took hold of my shoulder and forcibly flipped me onto my back. I heard myself laugh, pure pleasure escaping in the sound. Catching myself, leaning back on my elbows, I laughed again and let my head fall back when he bit my neck. Edward groaned, his head resting on my shoulder for the briefest of seconds.

"So fucking sexy," he said, looking into my eyes. It felt as though something in him had snapped, too. We had plenty of gentle and slow over the last few days. I'd never grow tired of Edward's sexual aggression.

He knelt down lower on the bed, wrapped my legs around his waist. Barely moving, I cried out again as he managed to hit all of the good places inside of me. He was deep as he could go and I arched my back to help him try for more. Pleasure close to pain, I let him support my body as I moved my hands to his shoulders. That wasn't enough. I leaned up even further until I felt my fingers close over my lower arms. My elbows were bent, helping me get closer to him.

I started kissing his throat, along his jaw. Edward pivoted, rested his back against the headboard of his bed. He didn't need to hold me upright this way. The way his body was angled, I was braced over him, straddling his waist. He brought me down onto his cock, holding me against him as I shuddered. When my eyes opened, he fisted one hand in my hair. Bringing his mouth down to mine, he stared down at me, his eyes hard and determined.

What was he waiting for? I tipped my head up, he pulled me back into place. Resisting made pain skitter down my spine. I grinned, upping the stakes when I tightened my muscles down around him. His breath escaped slowly while he reached for patience. He shook his head when I raised my hands to his face. Taking hold of my wrists with one of his hands, he held them behind my back, intercepting my attempts to best him.

Edward didn't kiss me. I felt my eyebrow arch before he rocked his hips. The way he could move… I heard myself growl in frustration that he had managed to distract me again. When his hand curled around both of mine, I felt another emotional break happening. My fingers were laced with his, I felt time stretch and freeze. It always felt this way with him, more than fucking, better than making love. I loved the way my shoulders ached whenever Edward pulled down on my arms as he thrust up into me. My breath came faster when he got a better grip on my hair. Twisting my head to the side and back, he held my upper body immobile.

"Oh my god," I heard him groan. His eyes moved over the line of my body, I saw them darken as I arched toward him. My knuckles brushed against his thigh, Edward was holding my arms so low. I let my head fall back so he could see my neck, exposed for him. Bite me, then, I thought. Bite me if you won't kiss me. He let go of my wrists, I immediately brought my hands to his chest. Bringing my knees in closer to his sides, I started a pace that was guaranteed to drive Edward insane.

"Why?" The word was torn from me, violently. I slammed my hips down onto his trying to persuade him to answer with flashes of pleasure. He crooked-smiled, a dark version, one I had never seen before. He pulled me down so that I lay flat against his chest. My mouth was aligned with his jaw, I slid up a little so that my arms could go under his shoulders. I loved when he took me this way. Nothing existed save for him, the way he felt against me. Burying my head down on the curve of his neck, I breathed him in. His hair smelled faintly of pot, cigarette smoke. The cologne he used, I loved getting ready for bed and with his scent transferring onto my sheets.

"Because you wanted it." He turned onto his side, taking me with him. My legs went between his as my back pressed against his front. One of his hands went to my throat, my head was tucked under his.

"What does that even mean?" I managed to say. And then I ceased being able to breathe. The air was trapped in my lungs, I couldn't inhale or exhale. The pressure rose, I felt cold and hot at the same time. Edward's fingers pushed up and constricted over the pulse points of my neck. So fucking capable. His fierce energy rolled through me. Drawing in air for the first time in what felt like ages, I was surprised that I didn't need to gasp for it. Oxygen filled me slowly, dreamily.

He slid in and out of me slowly, letting me feel every inch of him. This position had him brush against me in an entirely new way. He held me, arms crossed behind my back. I could feel his strength surrounding me. I was close to shattering a second time. Feeling the muscles in his legs, the way his thigh angled my hips down onto the bed. How he drove himself inside of me, hard, his chest and abs tight with exertion.

He braced his shoulder on one of the pillows. Leaning over me, I tipped my head back to meet his. His breath was warm on the side of my face. I took hold of his arms and felt myself fall over the edge. Into… it was indescribable. His lips covered mine, I stole air from him accidentally. The feeling was strange, I knew because he had done it to me before. The oxygen in his lungs was forcibly drawn out of him, I felt him laugh as he drew air in through his nose. He felt so _amazing_. My nerves were afire with sensation. His mouth opened, he absorbed the small sounds I couldn't help making. I poured myself into his kiss, having been confused, wanting this.

"I'm going to come, baby," he said against my lips. That was all the cue I needed. Detangling myself from him, wrapping my fingers around his cock, I put one of my hands on his sharp hipbones and took him into my mouth. Tasting myself on him had never bothered me. He gripped the back of my neck, moved my mouth around him in a slightly different way. I loved doing it for him because of this. Feeling him shudder, knowing he was beyond control, I dug my nails into his hip and saw him freeze. I swallowed three times before he was done. Even then, I didn't completely remove my mouth from around him. Ghosting my tongue over his shaft, sucking gently at the head of his cock, I smiled when he twitched.

"Fuck," he swore. "Smoke with me again?" His body was satisfied, but his mind was still over-active. The wrinkles in his forehead were back. His tone wasn't relaxed in the slightest.

I let him slide out of my mouth sideways. "Sure," I grinned. "Always game for smoking." Not wanting him to move, I got off the bed and retrieved the still-full pipe. Edward had two lighters and our cigarettes on his side table. He motioned for me to hit the bowl first. His eyes were closed, he was resting for a few seconds.

"Why a few days?" Edward asked. "Sorry, going back to what you said before. I'd be meeting you in Phoenix _after _you get there?"

"Mom's going to want an entire day with me. To catch up, y'know? I'll be able to feel things out, know if there will be room for you to stay with us. If not, I'll let you know where the best hotels are and I'll come stay with you."

"Tell me you're not going to drive around and see them for yourself." His eyes, a soft green, slowly hardened to silvery-green as he thought about me scoping out rooms.

"Nope. When Rose and I had money to spend, we'd rent hotel rooms and get away. We know where the good ones are, which of them to avoid."

"So you did, once upon a time."

"You say that like you haven't seen your share," I pointed out.

"That's different," he insisted.

"Yeah, you had Alice with you. I had Rose. It's her neighborhood, she knows her way around. We never ventured into territory that she didn't trust."

Edward sighed. "Fine. That's a valid point, I guess. Rose watched out for you, right?"

"Yeah, she has my back."

"Does that mean the same thing for you as it does for me?"

"She doesn't go above and beyond like you do for me, but… yeah, she's taken unnecessary personal risks in order to keep me safe." Same as I had for her, though I didn't think Edward wanted to hear that part.

"Safe." He took the pipe and took two deep hits. "Right. Safe."

"Edward-"

"Look, I understand why you have to leave. I'm not going to stop you, you know that. If you go, though, I need you to promise me something. With all the stories you've told me about Phoenix, the fact that you rarely talk about what life was like there… I need to know that if you find trouble, run into it, whatever… you'll let me know."

"Of course I'd let you know, but-"

"I can be there in less than seven hours. Jesus. Seven hours. Try and give me some warning?" He laughed, the sound different than normal. "Seven fucking hours. Do you know how much can happen in-"

"Nothing's going to happen. Don't jinx me. Knock on wood or something."

He absently rapped his knuckles against the headboard three times. "You're good at stalling. You'll think of something. Promise me, Bella. If something happens to you… it'll… I'll _flip_ the _motherfuck _right out."

"I promise." I wasn't worried about whether not Edward would get there. He'd find a way, no matter how many people he had to bribe in order to get on the flight he wanted. The kind of love he had for me, that I felt for him… it was dangerous. Incredibly so. What he was really making me promise was that… if something happened to him, because he was trying to help me, I'd have to live knowing that he was doing time for something I should have handled myself. And if the consequences were worse than mere incarceration, I completely related to what Edward's reaction would be if something happened to me. Full circle, once again.

Tell him, have something happen because of it. Don't tell him, make him live knowing that I hadn't asked for his help in a dire situation. Which was worse? Which would be the right thing to do? _Not be in a situation where death and imprisonment are options?_ Well, yeah. In an ideal world. The little voice didn't have a point this time.

Edward was studying my face, his eyes stared into mine. "Okay," he said finally. "Okay."

"I want the same promise from you," I said.

"I'll let you know if you're in danger," he grinned. "You have my promise."

"None of your bullshit," I warned. "Say the words, the right way."

"I'd let you know, Bella," his tone gentled. "I would have to, much as I'd hate myself for it."

So many jumbled thoughts whirling around in my skull. Edward managed to make one sentence out of them all. He had saved me from reaching Panic Level. "I have to smoke again. Making fun of me during a serious moment like that, what's wrong with you?" I asked him.

"Believe it or not, some people wouldn't have caught what you _always do." _

"Just because you rush through the sentence doesn't mean that people can't keep up with you."

"They hear what they want to hear. And most are too busy searching your face to hear what you're saying. It's basic manipulation, you've done it to me before."

"I've done what to you?" I asked. "I might be offended."

"You've stared into my eyes before, long enough for me to really focus on you. Then you've asked me a question thinking I'm not paying attention anymore. With the handcuffs, for one."

I laughed. "That wasn't manipulation, Edward. You really were that distracted. I tried asking you at least three times before I realized you weren't hearing me."

"Really?"

"Part of it was because we were both supremely high. That, I'll admit, I use to my advantage sometimes. Not when it's something serious, though."

"All right, then. I was just saying-"

"Nothing," I interrupted, taking the pipe from him. "Don't say anything until after I'm properly high again."

He laughed, put an arm across his face. "Whatever you want, babe."

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

I exhaled a large cloud of smoke. "Are you okay?"

"So far as I can tell," he replied. Moving his arm he glanced over at me, "You?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know in a few hours."

"There's no way you could get your Mom to come here, huh?"

The thought made me laugh. "That would be a really bad idea."

"How bad was their divorce, really? I know you don't like talking about it. And I know you're all Rational Bella, but… what's the real story?"

This was preferable to talking about Phoenix. Sure, why not? Edward had told me worse stories than this one. It wouldn't bring us down or anything. I had long ago reconciled to the fact that Charlie and Renee were divorced.

"Mom wanted to get out of Washington. She was bored and didn't understand why Dad couldn't transfer to another police station somewhere else. I understood, but I could never make her see…" I felt an explanation was needed. "Dad's position here is secure. If he had to start somewhere else, I'm sure he'd take a pay cut unless someone in the Police Force asked him to relocate. Then it's a promotion, you know? Like when the first Chief of-"

"Yes, I know about promotions, social hierarchies." Edward propped himself up on two of the pillows, crooked smiled at me. "Don't go into the history of Forks PD, okay? I'll research it later if you want me to."

"I wasn't going to-" Lighting a cigarette, I mock glared at him. How had he known? "Anyway. They were okay, financially, but unless Dad were to sell the house, we couldn't really pack up and move. The house belonged to my grandfather, his before that. It's not something Dad was willing to consider. He's always loved it here. My parents would fight, then they'd fight more often. Never physically, Dad wouldn't ever raise his hand to a woman."

"I realized that," Edward agreed. "When I was standing in your tree, actually."

"You thought he was going to hit me? That's why you stayed?" It hadn't occurred to me. Him yelling, yes. I hated when he yelled and his face turned that dangerous shade of 'Enraged' red. That's all he needed.

"No, it's not the only reason. The thought did cross my mind, though. Yeah."

"Oh." Of course it had. I was an idiot.

"Not because of- not for the reason you're thinking. I didn't know what Charlie would be like, mad. It doesn't matter, anyway. He might shoot me, but he'd never hurt you. Don't let me distract you."

"What were we talking about?"

He blinked at me. "You're kidding, right?"

"It's not as fun now, is it?" I grinned. "Making fun of you when you want a serious answer, remember how pissed you were about to be. Don't do it to me and I won't have to show you why I don't like it."

"Bella…" his warning tone.

"Yes, Edward?" I laughed. "Fine. They were fighting a lot. That's really all that needs to be said. Dad talked to me about it once, Renee took over after that. She probably told him that she would handle things, and then… didn't really succeed. Dad went fishing a lot, Renee painted while he was away. I got a lot of reading done, it really wasn't a huge deal. Dad would drink, Mom would keep me with her, planning. I ended up going with her. Charlie agreed that it'd be better for me that way. It didn't matter, Mom needed me more. Dad was fine."

Edward looked guarded all of a sudden. "Why doesn't it matter?" he asked. "Was it because you were bored, or because they were bad times for you?"

"Both, to be honest. I'm a worrier. I worried about Mom, what she was going through moving away from Dad. I worried about Dad, in Washington all by himself. I worried about where we were going to live, where I was going to be attending school. When Renee's job fell through, we stayed with my grandparents for a day or two while Mom asked them for a loan. I don't think they knew that she had gotten divorced. I'm pretty sure I remember them being surprised. I was in the living room, watching movies, reading. They fought, too, but we moved into a house the next day. Possibly the day after."

"You shouldn't have needed to-" he reached for a cigarette, changed the subject. "Great credit saves the day?"

"Seems like. It was nice, in a nice area. I was so sheltered back then," I laughed. "I knew how to use a gun, but I'd never fired at anyone before. Target practice only. I learned some self-defense moves that Dad taught me. My police vest, the drugs I had learned about over dinner, Charlie confiscating something or another… I didn't know how useful all of that would be. We weren't in Scottsdale for very long. Snottsdale, kids call it in Chandler. Chandler borders Phoenix, the cities aren't big where I was. Tempe, Mesa, and Gilbert border Chandler, too, to give you an idea."

"Did you spend a lot of time there? Chandler?"

"That's where I sold the majority of my stuff. I spend most of my time in Phoenix, though, or I will be, when I'm there."

"Phoenix," Edward repeated.

"You wanted to know about the divorce," I said, not going into any more detail. "That's the whole story."

"The condensed version rather than the edited one, at least."

"Do I judge your stories?" I asked, slightly irked.

"No, you don't. You know that I won't judge yours. I get the feeling that you feel as though… I'd look down on you, see you differently if you were to allow yourself to feel some semblance of emotion. That won't happen, I don't think you really know that."

"I haven't talked about this with anyone else," I protested. "Its not that I think you'll judge, I know you won't. I've come to peace with everything that's happened. I don't want to be angry at Charlie or Renee, especially not now that I'm happy in Forks. What does that past matter? I lived, learned, changed, changed back, and found a mid-point between the two where I'm comfortable."

"Everyone deals in different ways," he said carefully. "I'm not blind, Bella. I have hang-ups of my own. Someone opening a can right next to my ear when I'm sleeping… that'd be a bad idea. A door slamming open, hitting the wall… it can also cause a bad reaction. I know what it's like to be poor, below being poor. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed…" Okay, maybe that was a lie. I was still angry at Renee for allowing things to get so shitty. Making excuses to people in Scottsdale had been humiliating. All of them were rich, settled. Their parents car payment could have kept Renee and I solvent for a month.

"Just saying, you know, if you want to rage around or whatever… it's fine. When Alice surprised you that day in my room, you went straight for your knife. Small things like that, I've got them too. I nearly drew down on Alice yesterday when she… caught me off guard."

"Beg your pardon?" I blinked at him. "You nearly _what_?"

"It was fine. I didn't have a gun or knife with me," he quirked an eyebrow at me. "Where'd my knife go?"

"Under your shirt in the backseat of your car… I told you it was there before we hit Port Angeles, you don't remember?"

"No… I didn't," he chuckled. "Good to know, thanks."

I knew that Edward would be able to handle my freak outs. He had done it before. They never tended to last long. Like Dad, I was able to rant, solve problems, and then feel better. Mom took longer to get over things, she had the memory to hold those grudges, too.

"What time is it?" I asked. "Charlie will be home at seven." My nerves were making me descend to emotional roller-coaster level.

"Almost six," Edward said. "Are you hungry? I'm fucking _starving."_

Watching him in the kitchen was always an experience. He multi-tasked like no one I'd ever met. Opening a bag of Three-Cheese dip, he warmed up a bowl of it in the microwave. I handed him some nacho chips. There was a flurry of activity as Edward took out sour cream, shredded cheese, salsa, guacamole in a jar.

"You like all this stuff?" he asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "And you made a huge deal out of my waffles. You know, I've never had nachos this way outside of a restaurant?"

"What do you do?"

"Um… open some Tostitos, crack open a can of salsa."

"Oh," he grinned. "Normally, yes, but I'm really fucking hungry."

They were really, really good. Edward flipped the television on, we curled up on the living room floor while he translated the first fifteen minutes of the soap opera. He had gone overboard with the guacamole, they were perfect. Melted cheese, cheese sauce and regular salsa, sour cream on the plates side. Very, very nice.

"I should probably get out of here soon," I sighed, leaving the last few chips for him.

"I'll take you home," he offered.

"You sure? You're all comfortable and stuff. I don't mind driving back by myself."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It's no big deal. I'll pick you up in the morning, too. You were going to roll a joint, right?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Your parents won't mind if I leave the truck here again?"

"It makes them happy," Edward rolled his eyes. "They think the attachment you have for that hunk of crap is charming."

I smiled. "Charming, huh? I like it. She's a good girl, don't be mean."

The drive back wasn't tense at all. Not until Edward pulled into my driveway. Only the porch light was on. Charlie wasn't back yet.

"Want company while you wait?"

"I would," I hesitated, "but Dad might invite you to dinner. He'd be in Guest Mode, you know?"

"Good point. I'd have to go home rather than having you come back out to meet me? Think that'd be possible?"

"I'll do my best. Want to meet at the meadow? It's a ten minute walk for me, and you can drive me back if you don't want to walk."

Edward nodded. "Done"

"Nice." I gave him a relatively chaste kiss considering Dad might pull up any second. Having him see us in a deep make-out session would be… awkward.

"Call me after you talk to Charlie?"

The phrase was becoming annoyingly common. "Of course," I told him. "You know I will."

"I feel… edgy," he admitted. "Sorry. I know."

"We have a plan either way," I had to point out. "Things will be fine, no matter how it goes."

"Yeah?" he snorted softly. "I know, babe. Call me soon."

I waved as Edward pulled out of my driveway. His music was loud enough to hear from outside of the car. I was worried that he seemed this tense, but there wasn't anything I could do until Dad and I talked. Tense, I took a deep breath. I could relate, at least. He wasn't the only one that felt edgy.

I checked my e-mail instead of starting on my class assignments. There wasn't a lot of homework for me to do. I kept up with what I knew would be challenging and procrastinated the easier assignments. Gym class was flying by. We'd be starting a new sport soon, though I couldn't remember which one it would be. Edward had Gym completely under control, but I couldn't help feeling nervous. Old habits died hard. And speaking of, Mom had sent me six e-mails. Two or three interesting facts followed by paragraphs of 'Where are you, Bella?' 'Is everything okay?' 'Why haven't you been talking to me?'

I didn't feel bad for barely skimming through the first. She had set up her e-mail account… and had talked me through the steps. In detail. She was proud of herself, though, and that had made me smile. E-mails four through six were full of, 'Are you angry at me?' And a lot about Phil, whom I had no interest in reading about, at all.

"Bells?" Charlie yelled as the front door closed, "Got a call from your Mother. You home?"

"I'm right here, Dad. You hungry?"

"Nope," he shrugged out of his jacket. "Can't say that I am. How about you? Did you eat dinner?"

"Yup. What did Mom want to talk about?"

"The holidays." Dad went to the fridge and popped open a beer. "Seems that's what everyone's talking about. How d'you feel about going to Phoenix for a few days, before your school break? Renee said she talked to you about it?"

Why didn't he sound upset? Aside from watching me over the top of his beer, Dad wasn't wary or tired. He didn't look as though one drink could easily turn into seven. Something felt 'off,' but I couldn't pin-point it's cause.

"Um, yeah. Mom mentioned that she wanted me to be in Phoenix for early Thanksgiving."

"I know you're happy here, Bells, but if you miss your Mom, your friends, you know I'd understand. And I wouldn't ever want to keep you from visiting them. I told you, told her, back when you first moved in…"

"What? Dad… what? Keep me from- what exactly did Mom tell you?" The beginnings of anger settled in. I didn't want to let it out yet, not until I knew the truth. "Did she say that I was homesick for Arizona? That I wasn't as happy here as I'd let you to believe?"

"Well, no," he looked at the floor. "She-"

"If she said _anything_ like that, I'm never going back to Phoenix. She can-"

"Your Mother didn't say any of those things," Charlie said solidly.

Mother, huh? He said the word as though there should be another that came after it. This had been common during the divorce, too. 'Bella, go and tell your Father…' 'You're not a messenger, Bells. Your Mother should understand that.' So polite, so stinging.

"Really? Your tone says otherwise," I stated, unflinchingly. Dad was a better parent than Mom, I had always known that. I hated when she used guilt against him. It wasn't fair, for one. And it was a really low thing to do… Edward was right, it embarrassed me for her.

The rest of our conversation passed in a blur. Dad brought up points like, 'Your grades are good.' 'You can have Alice pass on your homework or e-mail it in.' 'You'll only be there for two or three days,' 'I could spend all of the holidays in Forks.' Winning points, all of them. He was concerned about Phoenix being dangerous, but Renee had managed to move to a nicer neighborhood. Nice of her to share that information with me. I knew what it meant. Dad had tapped into his savings and bailed her out, yet again. She was working in a police station, I know he had gotten her that job.

When the two of them purposefully withheld facts, and Dad brought them up in a roundabout way, later… I knew what Mom's guilty silence felt like. They couldn't fool me anymore. Charlie still didn't like Phil, but then I didn't know many people who _did_ like him. Mom, for one. …that's about it. Dad seemed to think that I wouldn't be able to get into much trouble, considering I'd only be there for a day or two.

"You want to book your flight tonight?" he asked. "Your Mom's in Glendale now, but you'd still be flying into PHX Airport."

"I know…" Glendale, I could laugh. Where in Glendale? Maybe it wouldn't be much nicer. Where was I going? I'd get Mom to send me pictures of the… apartment? "Do we have to do this tonight, though? I want to call Mom again to make concrete plans. And I have to check on some stuff for school, I don't want to just take off, you know? It'll go over better with my teachers if I can give them some warning."

"You haven't missed any days, right? You'll go there, celebrate, and then come right back. You're allowed to miss a few days your Senior Year."

"Right. You know me," I interjected quickly, "I like being prepared."

"So prepare. We can book your ticket the day after tomorrow. In the morning."

Charlie talked on for a little while longer. He had done some research on Glendale. With Mom working at the police department, she got a heads up for where major crime happened. Dad figured I was safe now. And I wouldn't be going to school, which would cut down on time with Rose… but Mom would get her fill.

Something had happened during the conversation. Dad was too matter-of-fact. There was subtle avoidance happening, but I didn't know why. I'd call Mom in the morning to try and see if I could trick her into divulging information. Then Dad and I could sit down and talk again.

So much work. That he and I didn't need to talk very much, it made moments like now really awkward. He thought the conversation was over, I wanted it to be done with. I needed to talk with Renee, anyway. Everything felt hazy, unreal. Dad had turned the television on.

"Don't be mad at your mother," he said, after a few moments of silence. "She didn't mean any harm by telling the truth."

"What truth would that be?"

"Just..." He was going to evade, I could feel it. "Just don't get all excited over nothing. You can talk to her about it when you get there. It's the holidays, Bella. Everyone gets a little crazy 'round this time of the year."

"Okay, Dad."

"You mad at me?" he asked, offhandedly.

I could read right through his tone. What Mom had said really got to him, I felt the repressed anger burn brighter. For Dad's sake, because he didn't deserve any of it, I smiled at him. "I'm not mad at you. Confused, a little, why you're still taking her side-"

"There are no sides, Bells. We're both on yours. We might be separated, but we're still your parents. Your mother-"

"Yeah, I know. She loves me," I sighed. "I'm not angry at you, Dad. I don't like flying, that's part of it. Travel plans were kind-of thrown at me, I had no time to think..." Like now. I heard myself excusing him and couldn't stop myself from speaking. Years of conditioned behavior, learned from Renee.

Edward got the real me. When I was talking to Renee, Charlie… I morphed into someone new. Someone uncontrollable. I might have protested about leaving, but I could have done better. Guilt kept me from voicing anything too bad about Mom. Some sense of loyalty and propriety kept Dad from allowing me to rant on about her, negatively.

I realized this, sitting on the couch. This was what Edward meant. This… numbness. I didn't feel anything because I had resigned myself to doing what I didn't want to do. There was nothing to feel. It would be so easy to just say No. To stay in Forks, not need to think about traveling until I was good and ready to do it. But… it would really, really hurt Mom. What were two days in November compared to the months I'd be able to stay in Washington, without complaint from her. If I were careful, nothing would happen. Two days would fly by.

"I think I'm going to shower, and, if its okay with you, I'm going to go for a walk."

"A walk?" Dad looked away from the television. "This late?"

"Edward's going to meet up with me. He'll give me a ride home. I'll be safe."

"Okay…" he looked older as he turned back to the TV. "Do whatever you need to do, Bells."

Showering was automatic. I took one whenever I had an opportunity. Being clean was high on my priority list, and whenever Edward and I got the chance… it grossed me out for him, the thought of him going down on me after an entire day at school, sex in between. I know he showered soon as he got home, usually. Sometimes we managed to take one together, I liked those the best.

So, all in all, we had an extension of a day. I let the door to my room close. Pressing my back against it, I took several deep breaths. Phoenix. Rosalie. I felt a little better. Phil. And back to the depths of hatred. I started pacing, unable to stay still. The room seemed too small. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I dialed Edward while lighting a cigarette. Having two other things to do aside from cross the floor from one wall to another, maybe that would help.

"Yo," Edward's voice was clipped. Business mode. Fine by me.

"I'm going to Phoenix in two weeks."

"Did you book the ticket yet?" His voice was less impatient sounding now.

"Not yet, I got Dad to delay instant flight searching. I didn't tell him that you were going to come with me. That would have led to more explanations. I couldn't handle it, you know?"

"Where are you?"

"My room."

"Meet me in the meadow? Think you can get away?"

"Sure," I agreed. "Twenty minutes."

"Does Charlie know you're upset about going back to Arizona?"

"Yeah, I think that was conveyed."

"Good. Twenty minutes, I'll be there."

Edward was right. I could be angry if I felt it. Why not? I had never held back before. Phoenix, the word was a growl in my head. Fresh air, I needed to get air. The meadow was a fantastic idea. No one would hear us but the wildlife, and if a bear decided to meander over… I'd take him the fuck down. This was a situation that called for fire.

**Edward's Point of View**

My phone rang as I was on the way to our meadow. Charlie? Shit. What had happened? "Hello?"

"You shouldn't be answering while you're driving."

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying not to snap at him. "Did something happen to Bella?"

"No. No, Bells is fine." There was a long pause. "I assume she's told you about Thanksgiving in Phoenix?"

"Yup…"

"And would I also be correct in thinking you're going with her?"

"I-" Shit. This was why I didn't do the 'meet my parents' thing. Was planning to go with her something I should tell him? I had no fucking clue. "I knew she was going, but-"

"So long as your parents are okay with you traveling out of the state, I know you'll keep an eye on my daughter. You'll do that for me if you go, won't you, Cullen?"

"Of course. That's provided-"

"Alright. Just to warn you, I don't think Bella's… alright. I don't know if she wants to go and feels a need to hide it, or if she doesn't want to go at all. She's got stuff for building a campfire. Mind that doesn't get out of control?"

"A campfire?"

"Yeah, she does that when she's upset. Used to get me to do it for'er when she was a kid."

"Um… thanks." Was that alcohol I heard in his voice? It was difficult for me to tell when it came to worry versus inebriation. Both made people tense, their phrases were choppy, they didn't always make sense. "I've got a jug of water in the back. In case of over-heating, y'know?"

"Smart kid," he complimented me. "Drive safe, and bring her home by midnight?"

"She can stay in the guest room of our house," I offered. "If she's truly upset, maybe it'll help even out her mood. Esme's going to be up late tonight, she can make her cookies or whatever. They do stuff like that, sometimes. Alice, too."

"I… guess that'd be fine. Esme seems like a really good mom to you two kids. Always around, doing things..."

Drinking, I'd put money on it. There's no way Charlie would have agreed so quickly. His trust in me was _not_ that great. Unless he was trying to thank me for going to Phoenix with Bella. I had no fucking idea. It didn't matter, she was mine for the night.

"Yeah, she is," I replied, really wanting to hang up. "Um, I'll bring Bella home around five tomorrow. Unless you'll be working?"

"Nope, I'll be there. Take care of her, Edward. I don't know what her Mother's been saying. I doubt very much of it's helpful."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, Chief. Stay safe."

"You too, Edward. Have a good night now."

Bella had gotten here first. I could have messaged, but it seemed slightly inappropriate. Of course she'd want to smoke. If she brought a joint with her, we could stay out longer. Win-win situation. Until I saw her.

I had seen the pre-setup fire grate, but it wouldn't have occurred… Winter didn't bother me like it did other people. Disappearing to the meadow, I hadn't wanted to draw attention to the area. Bella had built one hell of a fire, I watched the black smoke drift off into the trees.

She was pacing along its perimeter, cigarette in hand. There was very little wind tonight. It had been eerie at first, the lack of wind in winter. Everything seemed frozen. I hadn't liked walking in the meadow once frost started appearing on the ground. Too easy for people to track us. And then Alice had made me realize that there wasn't anyone _to_ track us in Forks. I had brought two blankets, just in case. If the wind made a reappearance, it was going to get really cold, really fast.

I dumped my Ipod and the speakers on top of the blankets. She had my complete attention. Bella saw me, she didn't blink as I made my way around the fire. Her eyes reflected the flames, dark, wild. Angry.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked, pacing in agitation. "Why can't I stop… It makes absolutely no sense. I don't owe Renee anything. I'm pretty sure she said something that upset Dad. She made him paranoid that I'm going to leave. They talk to one another about things that concern me, but then they won't tell me what they've talked about… even though they're both, obviously, upset about the conclusion they reached. Together. Without me, again."

"Babe-"

"And then they make me pull interrogation maneuvers that the C.I.A hasn't thought to implement yet… Jesus, Edward! Why? Why do I keep doing this to myself?"

"Hey," I caught her against my body. "Calm down a minute. Relax. Breathe."

"Okay. Okay, I'm breathing. Sorry."

There was no point in telling her not to apologize. I wasn't going to nit-pick at a time like this. She smelled like smoke, in all of its variations. From the campfire, all natural, cloying, pure. Then cigarettes, menthol and paper, tobacco. Underneath all of that, as I buried my face in the curve of her neck, she smelled like pot. And fruit.

The moonlight made her skin seem unbelievably pale. And yet, she was solid in my arms. Fire and passion, anger, frustration. This had nothing to do with sex. She was hanging on to the thinnest line of self-control. The only way I could see that might help was telling her the absolute truth.

"You put yourself through so much because you love them. That's the bitch of having people care about you. They expect things you don't want to give, and you end up doing them because you don't want them to be unhappy."

"You're in favor of Phoenix, too?" She didn't sound accusatory, just curious. I knew she hadn't pulled away because I pissed her off.

"Fuck no, I'm not. Just, as answer to your question. Questions. That's the best I can think of."

"I know I'm being illogical. Just… I really don't want to go back there yet. I'm afraid that Mom will say something, do something, and then I'll never make it back to Washington. Did you know… of course you don't know. I didn't know. And if you knew, well, we'd have a whole new set of problems."

"The Mad Hatter would recruit you back to his tea-party if he could hear you." She wasn't the only one who could make obscure references. "I don't understand anything you're saying."

That made her pause. Smile. "Mom has a new job. She moved. Dad helped her, I'm not sure why. Neither of them told me about it. Charlie only mentioned it because... I don't know, he wanted me to know where I'd be traveling? He seems to think it'll be safer there, in Glendale." Bella laughed in an odd way. "Do you have smoke with you? I've got a joint. I rolled it and hit it in the Duraflame log wrapper."

"Whichever you want to smoke," I shrugged. "Body high or head high?"

"Both," she smiled wickedly. "Is that possible?"

"Maybe not right now, but later, definitely. I've got three different kinds stashed away at home. We'll be fucked up if you want to be."

"Later? Tomorrow, you mean. I told Dad that you'd drop me off at home when we're done here."

"Yeah, uh, I called him and asked if you could stay the night at my place." That felt really wrong. "I lied to you. He called me, not the other way around. Anyway, the final verdict is that we have to sleep in the guest room tonight."

"You guys have a guest room?"

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Um, yeah, we do."

"Why aren't we hanging in your bedroom?"

"I told your Dad that you'd stay there. That's probably what made him agree to the whole idea. I might have also mentioned that you'll be baking cookies with Esme. So… pick a type, remember it. Charlie might ask."

"He called you?" she pondered. "When?"

"Right as I was leaving."

"What did he-"

"Nope," I shook my head. "I've spent time with you and your Dad. You're my priority, you know that, but I can't sell the Chief down the river. Whatever reason he had for calling me, I know it's because he wants you to be safe."

"Fine," Bella sighed. "I won't mention it when I talk to him again."

"I'd appreciate that."

"Should I head back and do that now? Why put off 'til tomorrow..."

"Let your conversation settle with him. Thinking time would be good." I remembered the way Charlie had sounded on the phone. Whatever progress they would make, it would be lost if Bella got home to see her father drinking. I knew that it didn't bother her, but I didn't want her to deal with that tonight, too. "Feel like smokin' up? We'll take this joint out, chill for a while. Then we can drive into Port Angeles to get rolling paper for a blunt."

"You don't have anymore?"

"Not the Strawberry kind," I shook my head. "Or Vanilla, if you'd prefer, I don't care. Grape isn't going to hack it, not with the weed I've got."

Bella helped me arrange the blanket and she flipped through my Ipod while I sparked the joint. She rested her head on my shoulder, watching the campfire. I passed to her, she deeply inhaled twice. Slowly, very slowly, I felt her relaxing again. Putting my arm over her shoulder, she curled in toward my body.

"Whether or not I go to Phoenix... we're going to be okay, right?"

I couldn't read her expression. Her eyes were dark, but she was calm. Almost too calm. I pulled her closer, not knowing what to say. This wasn't where I excelled. Offering comfort verbally...

"No matter what," I replied. "One way or another. We're solid, babe."

"Solid," she grinned. "Like a glass house, or-"

I laughed. "Like a castle. Fortified and reinforced, hot oil and spikes waiting for anyone who tries to breach the perimeter. We'll be fine, Bella. Don't worry about that."

"Okay." Exhaling a plume of smoke toward the fire, she handed me the joint.

"Just like that?" I asked.

"Yup," she smiled at me. "Fuck it all. Things are going to change. I'm going to get drunk and call Renee."

... great? I'd find a way to maneuver the phone away from her. Once Bella started drinking, I knew she would be easily distracted. Calling her Mother while inebriated... such a bad idea. I wasn't going to stop her if that's what she needed to do, but I would do my best to keep her occupied. Kissing the side of her head, I let the music wash through me. Worst case scenario, I could call a few friends and have her taken out. Problem solved?

**Authors End Note:  
**Really sorry, again, that it took so long for me to post this chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Life stuff, hopefully, is more back to normal now. Updates should happen more frequently... or, at the least, not be more than a week or two apart. ^_^

**Authors End Note 2:  
Lur2-  
**Thanks! Thank you for the compliment on the way I write, too.  
**  
Fliberty-  
**I loved the cabin as soon as I saw the picture. It made my day. I could see it in my head, but none of the other picture's worked. Then, bam. Yes! Score! Haha. I love the picture, that whole series of pictures in black and white with him in the ragged shirt? Very nice, lol. Thanks so much for the link!  
**o**  
I like writing Edward and Alice, too. Siblings, but not. Alice can be really blunt because that's how Edward was, and he appreciates hearing the truth from her. Sometimes she's the only one, I haven't wanted to let that aspect of their relationship disappear. The stage during gym class... that was such a fun scene to write! I'm glad you enjoyed it. =D

**Readergirl828, sexy-vampirita, GracieMac96, Bellawant2be, InaV, archieandedward, mittoots79, mom2handm, kitkat681, 123abc-harrypotter, malia81167, sarahlouise80, hawkeye1958, ginkgo00, EdwardsBrunette2, Timi55-**  
Thank you all for reading and reviewing! A lot of new people, I deeply apologize for not being able to write back to everyone this time. It really means a lot that you stopped by and left your thoughts and suggestions! I hope to hear back from you in the next chapter, too. =)

**Karen4honor-  
**I'll have to go back and add more to the tattoo chapter. Thanks for mentioning that, Karen! =D Miss you, bb!  
**o**  
I've been going back to Edit all of the chapters. I got to 35, I think. All of the chapters, up to that point, are now in the same format. No jumping all over, ...'s that disappeared, horrible long spaces for the Review-Answer part. 'wince. Eleven more and I'll be all caught up!

**Luvyateamedward-  
**Thank you so much! Bella's Phoenix past should enter the story really, really soon. A chapter from now. I needed her details to be straight because there are a few plot-twists coming. Everything worked itself out. The end is in sight. 'flinch.

**Kavelf-  
**Thanks for all of your reviews!  
**  
Latuacantante4him-  
**Thank you! Alice is really useful/helpful, I like bringing her into the story when I can!  
**  
Fantasy0506-  
**Hey, fantasy! Thank you so, so much!

**Aggy73-  
**Lol, thanks for the Bella-defense! Bella and I both agree! ^_^  
**  
Jansails-  
**Your reviews never fail to amaze, Jan. Thanks! I love everything you wrote. I don't disagree with any of it.  
I do not see Edward attending college for very long. All of the things he's learned... they weren't learned from books. His head works when it comes to money and making it quickly, efficiently, I don't see Edward as the type to wither away at school while life continues as he does. To him, it would feel as though the years equal money that he's lost, no matter how much he might make after he graduates.  
He does want to watch out for Bella. Of course, he can't help himself. Edward won't stand in her way, Bella wouldn't let him dictate to her and he knows better than to try.  
She does go to Phoenix, I'm not afraid to let that part of the plot out. I have it all set up and I wouldn't know where to go if she doesn't. Arizona is going to be fun, haha.  
Thanks so much, Jan, again. =).

**FFFan1664-  
**Rosalie will be entering the story soon, yes. Emmett, too, because all of the other couples in this story are Canon. Why not have Rosalie be with Emmett, right? Renee and Phil, too, though they won't be as well-suited. Heh.

**Jbquinn-  
**Hahaha, sorry for the really long wait. I'm glad you loved the last chapter!

**Svollgraf-  
**'Handcuff Bracelet' ending makes me nervous. I have random scenes for an Alice/Jasper story, but in all likelihood... I'll probably try to do a Part 2 somehow with E/B as main characters again. Not sure how, or whether it's a good idea, but I know I'm going to miss this story. A lot. Thank you so much for reading!

**Vampirelovin1901-1918-  
**Thank you! Another smoker, sweet! I love finding Twilight fans who smoke, haha.

**Stillwaters72-  
**Thanks, =). True, no?

**Vtweetymccn-  
**Hey! Hahaha, if Edward says that... I'll be really proud of him!

**MariaLorenzen**-  
Lol! Thanks for sharing, that made me laugh when I read it. I'm glad you were able to save your laptop, though. O.o. Edward in Phoenix, I plan for him to get there, yes. No worries, he won't sit at home and wait for her the whole time. It's Edward, y'know?

**MyEdwardJacob-  
**You'd probably be right. Thanks for the dose of anger, good energy resulted. ^_^. What I feel is dangerous about them moving out... they're both intense people, everyone around them can see that. And, realistically speaking, couples who are that intense tend to 'burn out' eventually. Or at least,that's what 'people' say. I wanted to address that. Also, Edward hasn't been 'home' for very long. He doesn't want to offend Carlisle and Esme when they've done so much for him. 'Thanks, guys. So... yeah, four years later, I'm out. Peace. By the way, I know I told Alice I'd protect her, but she's got Jasper now. His problem.' Lol! No bueno.  
Bella has enabled Renee for a very long time. Without Charlie around, Renee was the only parent Bella had. Not to mention, when it comes to the holidays... kids are expected to go home, right? I know my parents expect to see me at their dinner table come Thanksgiving and Christmas. Long stories there, lol. She has taken a stand, though. We'll see what happens if Edward doesn't talk her out of phoning Renee. =)

**Carlisle's-nose-extension-  
**Hahaha, awesome screenname! Thanks for letting me know about the link, I'll go back and fix that soon!

**Sophdrea-  
**Thanks for following me over from 'Switches!' I'm updating that really soon, too. Within the day, if possible.  
**o  
**That your reviews don't mean much, crazy talk! I love hearing what people think, I'm amazed that so many people Do review. Thanks for all of the comments you've left, I'm really happy that you like this E/B pairing seeing as you've read E/B of SnS first.  
**o  
**Thank you! O.O. Intense writing energy hit for when Edward gets to Bella's place after dropping Tanya off. I liked their practicality and acceptance. It saved a lot of writing. They needed to have that one last spurt of rebellion, and when it didn't work... they could both give in. =). Thanks so much again, Sophdrea!

**Muneca-  
**I'm not sure where it's available to buy... Grooveshark allows downloading, I think. There's a button over the song that'll let you grab it for your computer. Just click the check mark, ^_^

**Ltlnbrt-  
**Thanks for all of your reviews! And thank you for giving 'Handcuff' a chance, =). I do plan on updating, no worries. Both stories, I've let 'Switches' idle for too long now, too. 'sigh.

**Dellaterra-  
**Glad I described Edward's hair so well, haha. Thank you!

**Joanna-  
**Wow. That's impressive! Thanks, Joanna! I wish the story links didn't need to have (dot)'s in them. I think it discourages people from checking them out. Ah well, maybe FF will update sometime and make them clickable!

**Seriouslyaddicted-  
**Edward's 19 and Alice is 18. I know, my ages are off/were off. As I go back to edit, I've been straightening them out. It's because I don't plan before I write... if something changes, I go back to change it elsewhere, but... not always well. It's a work in progress, lol. Sorry for the confusion!  
I had to change the ages they were adopted because they didn't add up properly for the ages they should be now. Edward was sixteen, Alice fifteen when they were adopted. It was complicated because I needed to have Edward be mature enough to take care of Alice, yet still have him be able to attend high-school without being twenty years old. Nineteen was pushing it a little, but it's possible. Twenty, twenty one? It'd make me uncomfortable.

**Ravenlovestwilight-  
**Wow. That was an amazing review, lol. Thanks! I love that you love this story so much! O.O, =D!

**Chrissyvs-  
**Yes, I definitely plan on continuing 'Handcuff.' All the way to the end, lol. I'm not giving up on it.

**Carina2026-  
**You're not a crappy reviewer, haha. Thanks for commenting at all! Hope to hear from you soon!


	46. School of Hard Knocks

**Chapter 46-  
School of Hard Knocks**

**Authors Note: **  
The Twilight Series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**So... there's no real way to write how very sorry I am that it took this long for me to update. Things were a little crazy. They're evening out now, but I needed to write something darker than fanfiction. To develop characters that were mine instead of relying on pre-made ones, I'm sure you guys can understand. Writers, readers, anyone with problems of their own- Feeling scattered = scattered writing energy = me incoherent. I'm sorry again, I can't believe I haven't updated since August. About four chapters to go and then... Handcuff Bracelet can be in the Completed category. Mixed feelings about that, but I think it's time to start resolving everything.

**Authors Note 3:  
Exercise Room-  
**http:/new(dot)sabenahotels(dot)com/cms/en/files/imagecache/thickbox_imagecache/IMG_3035(dot)JPG

**Playlist**  
http:/preview(dot)grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**School of Hard Knocks- **POD  
**Get Psycho- **Disturbed  
**Straight To Video- **Mindless Self Indulgence  
**All Around Me- **Flyleaf  
**I'll Be Yours- **Placebo

**Edward's Point of View**

We had barely made it to the store before they closed. The smoke shop in Port Angeles was the only place that sold decent rolling paper. I could buy from the gas station nearby, but it was another half hour drive away. In small towns, word got around. Nobody attending FHS would ever think to buy the joint and blunt wrap at the Thriftway. Too many eyes and ears all over the place. Ms. Maggie had my back, but if she thought it would be in my best interest to sell me down the river, I knew she'd do it in a heartbeat. I only bought two of them, vanilla and strawberry flavored. If we were pulled over on the way back, I'd chuck them out the window. And when the cops were gone, I'd go back for them.

"It would be bad to call her after I've been drinking," Bella decided, on our way back from the Port.

"Renee, you mean?"

"Yes. I'll lose leverage if she hears that I'm drunk." I stayed quiet as she pulled out her phone. "Do you mind if I call now?"

"Talk to me a minute first?" I interjected.

"About what?"

"Why are you calling her now? What do you want to know?"

"Mainly?" Bella paused, "I want to know why Dad seemed so different. I get the feeling that she said something to upset him. She has to know that's not okay anymore. I also want to know what's happening in Glendale. I'm hoping to find a way out of leaving, two weeks from now. That's not something I can plan, though..."

"You have it all figured out," I laughed, not meaning to. I wasn't making fun of her, just... just as I expected to deal with a more emotionally vulnerable Bella, she turned the tables.

"I've tried," she took a deep hit. "I hope to hell I've thought of everything. Anything you can think of to add?"

"... not yet."

"Alright. Then here goes..."

Quite frankly, this conversation needed to happen. Renee would benefit from a wake up call. If she came to Washington and confronted Bella, I didn't care how mad she would be. It would save Bella from having to travel. I didn't need to see Arizona, the glimpses I'd gotten through the stories I heard were more than enough.

"Hey, Mom," Bella cleared her throat. "Did you have a good chat with Dad today?"

I lit a cigarette, focusing on the road. Her voice could open wounds... I liked her directness. Bella glanced over at me apologetically. To my complete surprise, she activated the speaker-phone mode.

"- what happened? Is your father listening?"

"No, Dad's not listening. I went to the grocery store for some girl things. I'm talking to you from the parking lot."

"The parking lot?" Renee sounded worried. "This late? Why-"

"Because I knew you'd worry about Dad hearing. This is as private as it gets. I wanted to talk to you-"

"That house was always so small-"

Bella laughed abruptly, her eyes closed as she lit the joint. "Compared to your new place? You moved, huh?"

"You finally read my e-mails. You know, I'm just saying, Bella... you haven't written back more than twice. It's been almost three months now."

"I've, uh, had a few school projects due. Sorry I didn't get to that sooner?"

"Anyway, I'm glad you finally did. Glendale's nice, thank you for asking. I've managed to put some money aside- I told your Father I'd help with the plane fare, is that what he has you calling about?"

"No, Mom. Stop being so paranoid. Dad didn't mention you when it came to paying for the tickets, at all. So far as I know, he's taking care of it."

"Because I have the money to help, you know."

"Yea," Bella replied. "He mentioned that you found a new job. Not that I didn't read the- you know, ... I'm happy things are better there. You know I worry about you, and, just... with Dad, I think-"

"I worry about you, too," Renee took advantage of Bella's pause. "So, tell me, have you booked your flight yet? When do you plan to do that?"

"I will, soon. Maybe. Um, I'm just curious... What did you talk to Charlie about, exactly?"

"You are persistent. I knew it'd be difficult for him. Letting you go, that is. A man of routine, that's your Father."

"Ok, but- c'mon. He wouldn't tell me anything. Aside from knowing you have a new place and the new job... he said some things that sounded, um, not like him. About my friends, you, he was a little too gung-ho about me leaving."

"You miss your friends here, don't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"And you miss me, right? I know Phil's looking forward to having the holidays together."

Bella exhaled smoke slowly, striving for peace of mind. "I'm sure he is."

"I hate that tone you use whenever I talk about Phil. You make him out to be such a villain."

"I'm truly sorry that my opinion of him isn't higher. Maybe if I address him like he does me... think we could bond?"

"Honestly-"

"'The girl?'" Bella asked. "'That one,' and my personal favorite, 'Hey, nerd, get me-'"

"He wouldn't... I'll talk to him about it. How about that? I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding. He's up for promotion, Bella. Everything's going to change for him. He told me that he's happy you're coming back. Why would he say that if he didn't think of you as his-"

"Don't say it," Bella warned. "Not yet. I'm willing to revise my opinion of him, but Phil is not my father."

"The books said it would take time..."

"The books I gave you to read?" she passed me the joint. I handed her my cigarette.

"I want to talk to you about Phil," Renee said, "when you come here. Phil will be away for training. We'll have the house to ourselves and we can talk like we used to. You remember? I want to know what's been going on with you. And I want to get to the bottom of this grievance you have with him, once and for all."

"Grievance? I can think of at least ten more reasons, and-"

"We'll talk about that. Not over the phone, though, okay? This isn't a conversation we should be having with you out so late. In a parking lot, no less. Go home, Bella."

Home, my mind latched onto the word. I was proud of Charlie for getting her so far into Defensive mode. Forks was home to Bella in Renee's mind. That would be enough for me to work with when the time came.

"You said 'holidays' before? I thought I'd only be there for a few days?"

"We'd be celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas at the same time. Early, too, so that you'd get back in time for your school break. Charlie mentioned you might have skiing plans for your Senior trip?"

"Maybe, yeah."

"Skiing," Renee laughed. "Since when do you ski?"

"I don't. The, um, ... the lodge is nice. Good atmosphere for, er, - reading."

"Ha, there it is. You do take after me."

"Right. But, Mom-"

"Charlie tried to say you had school, that now wasn't a good time. He pulled up weather reports- the man was almost as impossible as you. It took some negotiating, but he agreed that five days here would work. I figured you'd want to see the new place and catch up with... Rosalie? You're free to stay longer, of course. You know I'd love if you did. I'm glad you're living a little, you know. Even if you don't tell me anything about it."

What was happening? Bella looked over at me helplessly. I had no help to offer. Rubbing my fingers together, signifying money, I reminded her about the ticket cost. I struggled to make sense of the conversation. Our school trip was scheduled right before Thanksgiving. That left the two weeks in between for Bella to travel. Shit.

"If flights are too expensive..."

"Have your Dad put it on his 'forbidden' credit card. Tell him to stop being so paranoid about credit. I'll put half of the cost in his account. He'll be fine. If you book soon, they should only be four or five hundred. You're good with finding deals, you'll do better than that."

"Four or five- yeah. Glad to know that's the limit-"

"Great. You let me know how it goes if he doesn't want to."

"I really do like Forks, you know. I don't want to leave Dad-"

Renee stayed silent, the quiet stretched. "You talk to him about how 'alone' he'll be. I'm not going there, Bella. That's for you two- I don't talk to him about that part of his life. I could be wrong, but.. you're right. He sounded different, last time I talked to him. Happier, you know? Lighter. And I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole."

"Oh," Bella replied, awkwardly. "Alright, um... I should probably go? This is weird. Ice-cream's melting and... yeah."

"One last thing? Speaking of groceries. Wish me luck, okay?"

"Luck? With what?"

"I'm taking private cooking lessons! Our neighbors, well, one of the women next door has been taking cooking classes for _ages_. She wants to learn some painting skills. It's a fair trade, we both make our share of messes. I'm just about ready to tackle Thanksgiving dinner. By hand! Me! With her help, of course. She promises to keep me from starting any fires."

"That's great, Mom. That's really... cool."

"Alright, well, I'm going to go enjoy my pancakes. Yes, I made them myself. You have a good night, sweetie."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you soon. Bye..."

Could I have been wrong? I thought back to Charlie's voice on the phone. There had definitely been guilt, but- Bella was out of the house, and once I offered to have her stay the night... he _had_ agreed way too quickly. I blamed alcohol when- really? Had it been because he felt failure at not being able to handle the situation? Having Bella come to me for comfort because he was her Dad. He couldn't offer the same sense of safety I could.

The Chief was having someone over. It made more sense. Charlie hadn't seemed like the type to fall off the wagon. Bella was living with him and had spoken about moving in with me. Here, in Forks. There was no reason for him to be paranoid that she'd never come back from Phoenix. From what I gathered, Renee was in a better area with a better job. No need for him to worry about Bella's safety, especially if I'd be going with her. The guilt I heard was because he felt bad about going behind Bella's back. The loyalty Bella had for him... yeah, I could see why he'd be cautious about bringing another woman home. Goddamnit. Everything made sense in a way that did nothing but _fuck_ us.

"That went-" Bella shook her head. "Did you hear how that went down? How I let it-"

"Inescapably?" I asked, before she tried to take all of the blame.

"I wasn't nearly forceful enough. Was it just me? I could have been more aggressive, right? It's just, she sounded so- so- She e-mailed everything I didn't know..."

"Which doesn't make what she did with Phil okay," I struggled to find a way to break through her shock.

"No, but she wants to _talk_ about him. In a way that's not 'I'm all for Team Phil.'"

"Will she listen to what you say, though? Thanks to you and Alice, you guys tell me this _all_ of the time... there's a difference between hearing and listening."

Bella laughed. "I don't know. Maybe? It's more than she's offered before. And she's _cooking_. She went out of her way to make plans convenient. For me. She didn't jump into asking me billions of questions, grilling me about all of Forks and what people are doing."

"How nice of her."

"Maybe having money, being in a better area... if Phil really does get this promotion... not having money tears couples apart. I've heard you say that before. She was blinded by whatever it was, but now the blinders are gone and she's actually seeing what's going on?"

Under other circumstances, I'd have taken the aggressive way. But Bella wanted to believe that things had changed, I could hear it in her voice. The wheels felt as they were turning faster than I could control. Charlie had relaxed about Phoenix, and now Renee wanted to atone for her neglect. The Chief hadn't gotten her a new place and the job without accepting any benefits. He was a good guy, but I knew how dangerous he could be when Bella's safety was a concern. She was safer here, everyone except Renee knew that. Charlie had waged a silent war and won. I didn't have much evidence aside from my gut feeling, but when it came to making a point... weather reports were the extra step that cinched everything together. Renee had gotten five days. Five days that Charlie deemed the most appropriate for Bella to leave. What else had he gotten Bella's mother to agree with?

"I haven't moved out yet. I'm still their... Dad really did try. I read all the signs wrong. He did try to find ways for me to stay. It seems like he covered all of the territory. I... I'll probably be going to Phoenix. I used all my excuses."

I couldn't think of any reason she shouldn't go. Well, there were plenty of those, but none that could be used to our advantage. Bella's life of crime was something that needed to stay buried. Safety wasn't something we could mention. Letting her go felt like a really, really bad idea. I had willfully gone along with a bunch of plans that were risky and dangerous. This wasn't one of them. I didn't have any choice this time. If she had to leave... what could we do about it? She might be eighteen, but Bella was right. We hadn't moved to the new place yet, more than half of the school year was left before we'd start thinking about moving. Until then...

"We have until tomorrow afternoon," I concluded. "There's got to be something we're missing. We can consult Alice, if you want. She's good at finding loop-holes."

"And Jasper. He might have some opinions to share, too."

"Okay," I pulled into the driveway. "Mind if we stall drinking? I want to change it up a little."

"Are we going out again?" Bella asked, curiously.

"Nowhere far," I replied.

Walking around toward the backyard, I showed her where our basement door was located. It wasn't creepy or mold-ridden. There weren't any bugs lurking around, nor was the air cold and clammy. The basement walls were white, tinted slightly with a pale shade of orange. Hardwood floors, Carlisle hadn't cared about scratches as we all exercised. There were two different types of weight stations. One Esme had liked, the other Alice appreciated for the workout it gave her thighs. Carlisle used the treadmill a lot, both Alice and Esme practiced yoga.

"You guys... really," Bella looked around. "Wow."

There was a sliding door that could be pulled out to divide the room in half. The treadmill and weight stations on one side, with a good stereo system to make working out easier. The music wouldn't bother Alice and Esme who were following a workout video on the other side. A television was mounted in the far right corner. It wasn't HD or a plasma, but come Christmas... I wanted to try and get one installed for free.

"This is their part," I said. "Mine's around the corner, back there."

"And you call this your basement?" she snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"That's what it is. We don't have a lot of stuff to store, so... we used the space."

"Right. Because you needed room for your private gym collection."

I laughed. "Really fuckin' cute. I just _love_ your sarcasm."

"I wasn't being sarcastic," she giggled. "Look around, though. You guys work out together?"

"Yes, absolutely. And thanks to you, we all hold hands and sing after we're done."

Bella's eyebrow raised. "Isn't it satisfying?"

I turned the overhead light on. There wasn't much in the room, I had wanted the free space. A punching bag hung from the middle of the ceiling. A few weights were piled up along the walls along with a full weight station that was set vertically in one of the corners. From teaching Alice how to fight, training gloves and focus mitts were in bins stacked up near the door.

"Chances are... you're going to Phoenix, right?"

"Yes," she sighed. "I think that's how it's going to play out."

"Alright. You still want me to go with you?"

"Of course."

I hooked my Ipod into the small speaker system. We needed music. It would help. The volume was low enough that Carlisle and Esme wouldn't come to investigate. It wasn't rare for me to be down here late at night. They didn't seem to mind so long as I was in my room by two or three in the morning.

"What are the chances that we'll find a fight out there?" I asked, part of me dreading the answer.

"For fun? Or are you talking about a serious fight?"

"... good to know. I meant a serious one, though."

"Seventy-thirty, odds higher that we don't?"

"Great odds." I threw her a pair of sparring gloves. "Phoenix is your area. The chances of you letting me handle whatever happens alone... less than fifty-fifty. I want to know how you fight. If you have my- If I have your back, I need to know how to fight that way with you."

"Back to back fighting," Bella said. "Okay, that makes sense."

"You need to warm up?" I threw my jacket over the seat to the weight station.

"How many rounds do you want to go?"

"One on one to start with." The introductory sparring match, then one where I'd start to see how she really fought. By the third time, I wanted to push her far enough to see how she'd fight, dirty. "Two or three?"

"I'm fine, as is," she did the same. "Good thing I wore jeans and boots tonight."

"I didn't know you were such an Electra fan." I smiled when I saw her wearing my shirt.

"Yes, that's why I wear this. Her tits turn me on. I love American flag pasties." Bella grinned, "That was me being sarcastic."

"Smoke a cigarette with me first." I needed another few moments to calm down. Relaxation felt impossible. I hadn't fully processed the conversation Bella had with Renee. Charlie had thoroughly confused me. Smoking hadn't helped at all. I didn't feel high. When I was really worried about something, my mind refused to absorb the weed. It lingered, just out of reach, which made me feel even more edgy. When did I give in and feel off-guard like this? The last time I had... Alice was adopted by pedophiles. Then, the next time after that, I had been arrested and charged with a list of felonies for trying to free her. I had felt just as out-of-control then, and without any real options.

"What are your rules?" Bella asked, lighting one for me.

"I'll be pissed, even if it is you... don't kick or knee me in the balls."

She laughed, "I wouldn't do that to you."

"Yeah, well, instinctive reaction or whatever... watch it..." I didn't have a more polite way of warning her. It had happened before in fights, accidental or otherwise. I really didn't like it.

"Fine. Do me a favor, then. If we're going all out, sans groin attacks... When you aim for my face- You know how to pull back. I've seen you do it before. If I don't dodge it completely, that's my problem, but I can't hide a black eye from Charlie. He'll go off the deep end."

"Of course," I answered. "I plan to be blocking a lot, anyway. Offensively blocking. I'll go for take-down moves and holds, I can't actually try to hit you. Yet."

"Weapons?" she asked.

"We'll see? Not to start with, no."

"Street-fighting, right? You aren't going to pull any martial arts shit on me, are you?"

"No, but I fight dirty. I'm not ashamed to admit it."

"Neither am I," Bella replied. "It's cool you mentioned that. I wanted to warn you... that's how I learned. I don't want to accidentally hurt you. A heads up? I go for the knees a lot because, er, it takes them down, you know? Dislocation, I'm pretty good at making that happen, too."

"Watch your ribs, not your face." I thought back to what she said. Fighting like this, not sure how good she was... I wouldn't aim hits I'd be unable to pull back. "Don't worry about protecting your face, I assume that's an instinct of yours."

"It has to be. That's the way I fight. Enemies aren't careful, you know?"

"Good point."

She looked me over quickly, "Anywhere else you want me to avoid?"

"No. Do your worst."

Bella took an offensive fighting stance, centering herself as she raised her arms. "Sure you don't want to put on some sort of armor?"

"You gonna talk all night, Bill?" I smirked, "Or can you back your shit up?"

I blocked her first punch. She didn't throw her body into it. When I went to grab her arm, she was gone, having darted back. Not bad. She moved when I went to take her shoulder. I felt her hand open before she hit the right side of my ribs. We both froze. The smack sounded really loud, and... I started laughing.

"What the hell was that?"

She flushed and crossed her arms. "I don't want to hurt you, it seems."

"You can't... smack me," I continued laughing. "Not if we're going to fight. You can't hold yourself back that much."

"Well, fuck if I know what to do about it... It's a subconscious thing, Edward!"

"Hit me," I suggested.

"Okay, Tyler. Sure, it's that easy."

"It is. Hit me. You won't connect."

Bella took a few steps back. "You can't blame me if... I don't want you to be mad if-"

"I won't be."

She inched forward, stepping closer before changing position to feint right. I let my body react for me, dodging and trying to get hold of her wrist. She knew how to get out of holds. I ducked as her fist flew past the left side of my face. Bella gasped as I finally got a good grip on her shoulder. Pulling her in against me, I wrapped my arm around her stomach to hold her still. I laughed when she automatically went to jam her heel down over the inside of my foot. Her back rubbed over my chest as I pulled her closer. One of her legs tangled with mine, she bent her knee to throw me off balance.

It nearly did. I shifted her body hard to the other side, attempting to keep us from falling to the floor. Not on her terms. Bella tried to use the momentum against me, wanting to knock me to my knees. We both staggered backwards, I studied her in an entirely new way. She was just as improvisational, fighting. It helped me relax the slightest bit.

Her eyes narrowed as she tried to find vulnerable areas from the way I was standing. She wasn't remembering something from a book. Old fights were going through her head, I would have bet anything on it. What had worked then? Would it work now? I braced myself, prepared for anything. She swung at me, making me move back. Aiming for my side, Bella surprised me by going for a headlock. She tried to ram her head into mine, but I evaded and dropped to one knee, taking her with me. I immediately let go of her arm as she wrenched to the side. Surprise made me react too slowly to catch her. I was back on my feet, but... so was she. And already lashing out.

That she recovered as quickly helped me relax a little more. I could feel her hesitating less, allowing the risk to rise as her attempts to hit me grew bolder. Bella wasn't trying to take her frustration out on me. I saw her watching how I blocked, she was already guarding her left side more because of it. She was trusting me to protect myself from the next level of aggression she had to unleash.

"That's the third time you've aimed up before going low," I told her. We had fought to another draw. She had caused me some pain when her shoulder rammed into my collarbone, but Bella leaned into it and turned herself to lessen contact.

"If I were faster," she told me, "you would have taken some painful hits to the upper part of your ribs. You leave yourself open when you lunge at me."

"Yes, but if you were faster and managed to connect, you'd leave your entire arm exposed as you pulled back. And then their arm would stop working."

Bella smiled slowly. "You've done that."

"I won't to you."

She rushed me. Only being inches from the wall, I absorbed the tackle and let my back hit the solid surface. I protected my torso and used my height against her. She had to back up or be pushed off balance. I focused on my own footing as she tried to trip me. Twice. If she succeeded and I fell on top of her, I had to wonder how she'd find a way to get out from under me. Only one way to find out. This required a little planning.

She did go for the knees a lot. Anything to bring them to the ground. Once they were there, she could kick or get the fuck away. Disable, indeed. I liked that she went for ways that would make her assailants less of a threat. Take out their dominant arm, numb part of the body so it wouldn't work right, she was free to take advantage of their inability to fight back.

I crowded her, one of her legs on the outside of mine. She pushed at me, trying to ram her hip into my stomach. I avoided her elbow and let her take us to the floor. My side hit first, I rolled onto my back before forcing Bella onto hers. She struggled and got one of her arms free, twisting so that her upper body wasn't flat anymore. Laying still, her body was turned so that her cheek almost touched the ground. I put both of her wrists together and held them above her head. She arched her back forcing me to kneel a little higher, lower over her hips. The grip I had on her wrists eased as she writhed under me again. I hunched down as she quickly brought her arms down and in, aiming for the softer part of my stomach. She would have connected if I hadn't climbed partially off her.

"This is where I'd ram my leg into their groin."

I laid down next to her on the floor, really happy that she hadn't tried. "You can hold your own. Pain during sex doesn't bother you. I assume it doesn't stop you, fighting-wise?"

"Certain types of it do. And if you had weighed a little more, or if you had been trying a little harder... I might not have been able to get you off me."

"You assessed that risk before trying to bring me down, right?"

She glanced over at me, neutrally. "What do you think?"

"... yes..."

"Thank you for that, I think."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way." We were both still holding back too much. I didn't usually fight this slow. Bella wouldn't open her hand to keep from hurting someone, I knew she'd be a lot more vicious. That answered another of my questions: Whether or not she would be able to do what needed to be done. She had panicked a few times, thinking that I was going to win. Quickly taking stock of our position, Bella had gone for the most amount of damage every time.

Her cheeks were flushed, so red against her pale skin. I loved the way her eyes burned, ruthless and slightly bloodthirsty. At the core, I was satisfied with what she could do. The manipulative side of me was frustrated that I couldn't teach her much. Most of my fighting skills came from using the terrain to my advantage. Bella was naturally improvisational... and she wanted to live.

Those things aside, if she faced someone bigger, stronger, and faster- one good hit was all they needed. It was true for me, too, but I could take a lot more damage than her. When it came to physical fights, Bella was at a definite disadvantage. She didn't weigh much and her body was slim. Muscled, but not enough to throw someone onto the ground as I could. There was no changing that... I didn't know how to prepare her... Was I being overly paranoid? There was a chance that she would get there and be fine. A day or two later, I'd fly out there. We would have a fantastic fucking time, I'd make friends with Rosalie and her crew. We'd see the sights, yadda yadda, and then be on our way. Life rarely worked that way for me, though it had been recently...? I didn't know anymore. If we had to take the chance, I wanted us to be prepared. Hopefully it would be for nothing. I sat up and tried to find the relaxation from before.

"Edward?"

"Hm?"

She knelt in front of me. Raising her hands to my neck, she massaged one side of my neck before doing the same on the other. "You could turn people to stone, looking at them that way."

"Sorry. I'm not mad at you, you know that, right?"

"Yes, you don't need to ask." She kissed my cheek and sat back. "You can't relax yet."

"Not exactly. I will, though. It'll happen soon, I really want to get high."

"How hard do you hit? Will you show me?" she asked. "You've made me curious."

"You want to know-"

"How hard you hit. Yes."

I blinked at her, unable to find words. Words like- No. "No, I'm not going to show you how hard I punch. Do you know how much that would hurt-"

"Not me," she interrupted. "The punching bag's right there..."

Oh. I really needed to calm down. I kissed her, slow and sweet because... the next few minutes might be intense. She knew, but I needed her to remember that- that I'd never... All of this indecision was driving me up the wall. I wanted to tear the safety gloves off, but Carlisle would ask questions about my knuckles. My hands had healed, the new skin wasn't painful to touch anymore. He monitored the progress, still awed by how fast I was able to heal.

The punching bag was solid. I controlled the force with which my fists hit. Conserving energy yet aiming for vulnerable areas- two jabs to the face, one enemy down. Face, kidney, an uppercut to catch them underneath the chin as they doubled over... Aiming lower on the bag, three brutal punches were delivered to where someone's stomach would be. If the motherfucker didn't fall, two hits higher up would put them down. Using more force, less conservation, I let my body relax into releasing stress.

Phoenix. What the motherfuck. The plan was simple, at least. Five days wasn't so- ha. The protective feelings I had for Bella as her boyfriend aside, I wouldn't want anyone I knew flying into an area they had enemies. It was just... a really bad idea. My arms burned. I channeled the last of my aggression and hit the punching bag six times, each one harder than the last. Pain radiated up my arms as I threw more of my weight behind the attacks. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I felt the anger die down as the last two punches burned through the rest.

"I hit harder than that, but this punching bag... it's not a threat, you know?"

"You look better," she grinned. "Can you move your arms?"

"I'm not _that _out of practice," I shook my hands and cracked my wrists for her.

"Do you want to practice fighting with me again?" she asked. "It was really helpful."

"We should again, but... I'm good for now. You?"

"Same. Sort-of tired, too. You should put on those focus mitts for me next time. I'll show you how quick I can be. You'll be able to do more than block with them on."

"Sure. I won't be able to grab you anymore, either."

"I know," Bella smiled at me. "How do you feel about rolling that blunt we were talking about earlier?"

"We'll have to go to my room." I stood up. "Esme's home."

"Your bathroom?" she suggested. "I want to shower, anyway."

"You mentioned my porn collection around Halloween. We don't need sound for that."

I loved the way she laughed when an idea interested her. "You'll make it twenty minutes." Looking over her shoulder at me, she bit her lip and smiled wickedly. "I know a way to make you come that doesn't make much noise."

If we had the house to ourselves... I'd have taken her against the front door. Fuck. I called on the self-control I had found while beating the punching bag. Her eyebrow raised when I smirked at her. Every sound we made seemed loud as we made our way to my room. Bella's low heels didn't make much noise, but opening and closing doors made me cringe. If Esme heard, I knew she would come to check on me. It was after eleven, chances were she'd be asleep. She might know that Bella was staying over, but if the Chief hadn't warned her... she would be less inclined to knock on my door if all the lights were off. Bella and I did sometimes just sleep together, especially when we knew they were home.

"Twenty minutes?" I asked her, once we were safe in my room. "I've watched entire movies without giving in. Be careful or you'll raise my competitive side."

"The thirty minute flicks?" She stripped out of her shirt and bra, already on her way to my bathroom. "I applaud your self control."

The look I gave her said plenty. Fuck me she looked good, standing half naked in my bedroom. Her nipples were already hard, perfectly shaped for my tongue and mouth. She unbuttoned her jeans, bent over to unlace her shoes. I walked up behind her and took her hips hard in my hands. Bella stepped out of the boots, rubbing her ass over me until I held her still. I lowered her pants, letting her straighten up when I felt her arms wind around my neck. Nipping at her throat, I brought her up against me and let my hand move under the waistband of her black bikini style panties.

Judging by how things were going, I wasn't sure bout how much alone time we would get. Once I got to Phoenix, I couldn't hope Renee was going to have me sleep anywhere save for their couch. I browsed through some of the adult videos I owned. This was a great idea, but... we could do this anytime. Once summer hit, I had enough porn to get us through... a lot of possibly boring days.

It wasn't long until she emerged from the bathroom. The smallest body towel I owned was wrapped around Bella's midsection. It came to the very top of her thighs, she had rolled the top part down so that her breasts were barely covered. Striking a pose against the doorway, she grinned wickedly when I picked up a lighter. Still in the towel, Bella climbed on top of me. She took the blunt I had lit and held it over the floor so ashes wouldn't burn me. Her hair was wet, but not drippingly so. It curled around her face, wrapped in a larger towel.

"Would you be pissed if I had you get dressed?"

"... you want me to put clothes _on_?"

"Only momentarily," I reassured her. "I have an idea."

"Um... sure. Okay," she stepped into her jeans, dropping the towel. I felt my cock start to throb. If I bent her over the bed, I could have her pants off in five seconds. "- should I be wearing something nicer? Do I need makeup?"

"You never need makeup," I interjected, sure she had been speaking while I'd been distracted. Her nipples were hard, I sighed internally when she slid into one of my shirts.

"We've agreed to disagree on that point," she commented.

"Sure we did."

"I'm glad you agree. ... where are we going?"

Watching her pull boots on, I marveled at how quickly she could be ready. With Alice, I had time to read half of a book by the time she met me in the car. I grabbed my jacket, amused when Bella hung the towels she had used. Living with her would be fine. She liked things to be neat, and if we got sloppy... I'd pay for the damages.

"Wear this under your jacket," I handed her one of my zippered sweatshirts. "I'm putting porn on hold if that's cool with you?"

"Edward..." she looked very serious. "Is something wrong? Why the rush?"

I heard myself laugh. Inappropriate reaction. "Nope. Sorry, babe. I'm rushing because... the bed's right there. I don't want to stay here all night, though. My plan's better."

Bella's eyes darkened when she glanced at my bed. "Oh. Let's go then... wherever we happen to be going."

"Guess," I suggested, killing time while I got some things together. Ipods and the cord that would let me hook it into their stereo. An ashtray, I didn't need my pipe.

"The meadow? We're going back to do what we didn't before?"

"Nope."

"The Res? Mike's? Are we low on pot?"

"God, no." My mind flinched away from thinking about Mike. "We're fine when it comes to smoke. Hide these, though? Chuck them if we're pulled over. You know how that goes." I handed her two blunts. Head high, body high.

"The house," she sounded sure. "The house we're renting."

I smiled at her. Opening the door, I held it open. "After you..."

Fifteen minutes later, I locked the doors behind us while Bella turned a few of the lights on. Much as I wanted to, I couldn't turn my phone off. I would worry less with it on, and so long as it didn't ring... I could forget it existed. Esme would see the note I left on the fridge, the message I sent her cell. I didn't want them to worry about us. Since she knew Bella and I were 'sexually active,' I didn't see why she would have a problem with us... breaking in the cabin.

Bella laughed suddenly. "Are we here because your house doesn't have a guest room? You didn't want to lie, so-"

That made me laugh, too. "I don't think so. ...maybe? What I really wanted was to turn my mind off with you. we don't have to worry about anyone walking in, coming home-"

"Ours," Bella smiled. I needed to get out of these clothes.

There was a fireplace in the guest bedroom. With a stereo system in the den, I plugged Bella's Ipod into the front and picked a Playlist.

"We can smoke in here? Cigarettes are one thing, but... pot tends to have a very distinct smell."

"I'll leave the window cracked," I shrugged. "Fuck it."

"I like the way you think," she smiled. "Which is which?"

"Vanilla is body high. Strawberry, head high."

Bella got the bed ready while I started a fire. There were logs piled in a basket from the last time Dale had visited. They would burn fast, I knew Bella loved the way they smelled. It was cold without the heat on. With the bedroom door closed, it wasn't long until heat chased away the chill. I climbed under the blankets, glad it was a Queen-size mattress. The sheets were new, I felt creases in them from how they'd been folded. Music and stillness, smoking with Bella for hours that were our own. I felt my mind relax. Fuck, that felt good. Tension levels dropped, I took the blunt she passed and felt the high rise for the first time in days. Fucking days.

We would have to redo the wallpaper. Dark orange... not really my color. The molding was fine, a cream white. Any color would work with the light hardwood floors. The dresser and bureau could stay. They were modern, not cloyingly antique. The bed was fine as a substitute. Mine had a headboard _and_ a footboard. No contest.

Bella rested her head on my chest. She played with my nipple ring, idly letting her nails scratch lightly over my ribs. Shivers prickled over my skin, I inhaled again and felt my cock harden. Pulsing in time to the way she moved the bar, I put my hand over hers. She bit her lip, hiding her smile when my fingers curled around her wrist. It wasn't often that I smoked pot that had body high effects. My sex drive was forceful enough without adding to the energy. Bella was feeling it already. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes hazy as she kissed my chest.

"You always smell so good," she sighed, her mouth finding the ridge of my nipple ring. "I'm really looking forward to moving in with you next year."

"Me too," I embraced patience. If I smoked anymore, my control would snap. I was thinking clearly, but my body was demanding I do something more than talk. The room was much warmer. I got up to get the ashtray, thankful there was a carpet over part of the floor. After handing Bella the ashtray, I started at the bottom of the bed. I ran my hands down the long length of her legs. Over her knees, I closed my eyes when I felt how thin her ankles were. She had lashed out with so much force, all contained in... The high moved to my lower body. Fuck, she felt good.

It was definitely warmer, I kicked the covers out of my way. Her body bathed in firelight. This was much better than laying in a frozen meadow, bonfire or not. Her hands were cold when she rested them on my shoulders. I rubbed my cheek against her thigh. She curled her fingers in my hair. Not to grab or pull my head higher, Bella ran her nails lightly over my scalp. I kissed one of the bruises I had left earlier. Wanting to regain some sense of control, I saw the memory on her skin. Light blue bruises in the shape of my fingers, I didn't mind seeing them so much anymore. They were from me, and she loved them.

I loved how delicate her skin made the ink look. The pegasus, her dog, the lock and gun she had on her hip... I reached up and smoothed my hands down her arms. Moving her legs so they lay over my shoulders, I stretched out so we would both be comfortable. Bella took hold of my hands, twining our fingers together. Smoking had made my body burn for sex. I didn't want to come right away. After I made Bella come, maybe twice, I wanted to be inside of her for as long as I could stand.

She squirmed, feeling the warm puffs of my breath on her sensitive flesh. Loving the way she tasted, I lost myself in the way her body reacted. I sucked gently at the soft lips between her legs, encouraging her clit to emerge from behind it's protective hood. Bella moaned and I felt the muscles in her thighs tense. She raised her hips, leaning back on the pillows so she could stay still for me. Her body started trembling as I brought her higher. Using the barest hint of my teeth, she moaned high in her throat and thrust her lower body toward me. Her nails dug into my hand. I waited for her to relax again, but the pressure stayed. Relentless dull pain, I knew Bella was close.

She moved her hands to my arms. Her sigh sounded like a plea. I watched her, swirling my tongue counter-clockwise. Twisting her head slowly from one side to the other, she held her breath... exhaled, gasping because she hadn't gone over the edge. Not driven into a frenzy yet, she shuddered when I moved my mouth downward. Bella moved her thighs apart, her hips rising higher. She wanted my tongue on her clit, not at the entrance to her body. The skin here was so very sensitive, though... and she was already so wet... I held my breath and made my tongue hard. Thrusting it into her, I growled when her muscles clenched. My cock throbbed, I remembered exactly how good it felt when I went still inside of her. Grinding my hips over the bed helped, but I wasn't going to dry-fuck the mattress for my pleasure.

Her entire clit jumped when I rubbed it between my lips. I let her move how she wanted, following the rhythm of her body rather than pinning her down. Her pulse pounded, I could feel it in her wrists. She tried moving her hands, realizing that she had been pricking me with her nails. I released her hands, wanting to see what she was going to do. Scratch-marks appeared over her ribs. I laughed, her back arching as she came. Bringing her down, I captured her wrists and held them at her sides. Her nails attacked the sheets instead. I loved the way she writhed against me, residual pressure trying to find release.

"Edward," she groaned quietly, "I want you inside of me..."

"How, baby?" I asked her. "How do you want me to fuck you?"

She smiled viciously, looking up at the headboard. "Like this-"

I rolled onto my side, sitting up as Bella stretched. Her eyes were heavy-lidded with pleasure. Hesitating, she got to all fours in front of me. I vowed not to tease her anymore tonight. Taking me deep into her mouth, she swallowed around me and manipulated her throat. Fuck... that felt so fucking _good_. My hand went to her hair, but she was gone. I blinked, slow to react when she knelt high on the bed. She got to her knees, facing the headboard. I understood when she looked at me over her shoulder. Kneeling behind her, I waited until her fingers tightened, bracing for when I thrust into her. I wanted a mirror. Instead of looking at a wall, I wanted to see her face flush with my fingers around her neck. She made me feel strong in so many ways all at once. I easily held her against me so that her chest wouldn't hit the headboard. I wanted to see her nipples harden, her eyes roll back as... dear fuck. She ground her hips over mine. I slid inside of her, groaning with the white-hot satisfaction of feeling her surround my cock.

She tipped her head back, fully exposing her neck to my hand. I buried my face in her hair and buried the urge I had to bite her. When I had let all of it out before, I had felt the pain resound in my bones. Punching the bag hard as I had, I would have done damage to my hands without the gloves. If I bit her before getting myself back under control... I wasn't sure if the taste of her blood would be a deterrent. I knew Bella would love it. That she might fly over the edge because of it... I rested my cheek on the firm line of her shoulder.

"I-" Bella cleared her throat. "I've changed my mind."

"In what way?" My voice was just as hoarse.

"I want to be on top."

It took a second. I had used more effort than I thought, keeping my body from thrusting hard and fast, trapping her hips against the headboard until she rocked her ass back into me. I stopped her from moving away. She gasped against my lips when I released the first few layers of leftover tension. With my hand in her hair, I held her steady as she straddled my waist. I was going to lose my balance without any support for my back. Bracing my hands on the mattress, I leaned back intending to take her with me so we both lay flat. Bella had other plans. She took hold of my shoulder and fisted one of her hands in the sheet near my knee. I did my best to breathe around the pleasure that rolled through me. Soft and slow, building until I thought I'd snap, I raised my hips to help her. With both of her hands on my shoulders now, Bella rocked forward then back, up before clenching hard... all the fuck the way down.

I needed to do something more than just lay still. Amazing as it felt, I wanted to thank her for making it easy to regain control. She urged my higher on the bed with her knees. Digging them gently into my side, pushing up with her hips, we slid over the mattress until my head hit the pillows. She rested her cheek against my neck, letting me take over again. I had needed those moments of pure pleasure, worry and indecision fading because Bella rode it away. This was one of things that I could control. Smiling as she moaned, the vibration skittering over my skin, I took hold of her waist. She melted into the way I touched her. Shoulders tensing, she shuddered, her body moving naturally as she flew.

I felt the contractions of her orgasm deep in the core of my body. Warning flashes went off in my mind. I was close, but... I wasn't done watching her yet. She looked into my eyes as she came. Her hair brushed over my arms as she struggled to breathe. I couldn't get any higher than this. I tried to fight it back, but I had let sensation take me too far. Knowing I could be inside of her again, and soon, didn't keep me from pushing the head of my cock far as I could... I jerked her hips up, using the firm muscle of her stomach and mine for friction. Feeling her hands close around my shaft made me twist on the bed. The predatory side of me stared through my eyes. Bella. I grit my teeth, a groaning sound escaping as she made the pleasure rise one last time. Feeling that vulnerable- it really hadn't been that bad.

"Er-" I glanced down at my chest.

"Should I use one of the pillowcases?"

"Perfect." I grabbed one and shook the pillow onto the floor. Easily hidden. "I should have showered earlier, anyway. Sorry about that."

"Didn't notice," Bella shrugged. "You barely broke a sweat as it was."

"Want to find one with me?" I kissed her shoulder, the side of her neck.

"... there's a jacuzzi around somewhere, isn't there?" I felt her smile. "Mind if we find that instead?"

I laughed. "Nope. Lead the way, baby."

**o . o . o**

Aside from studying, finding time to be alone, Bella and I spent a lot of time in the basement. When I noticed that she wasn't sleeping well, we found excuses to stay together through the night. It gave us more time to train. Bella's endurance rose to where it had been, mine was almost back to my old version of normal. My body had stopped aching after a hard workout. The only downside was that people were starting to avoid me, like when I had first moved to Forks. I felt a lot edgier, as though my body was prepared to protect itself from being attacked all the time.

Having booked my flight, I knew it was definitely happening. We would both be back a few days before our 'Senior school trip.' So far as I knew, Bella and I hadn't planned on going skiing. It would give us much-needed alone time. Until then, there wasn't anything to do but accept it and hope like fuck that the bad feeling I had didn't mean anything. Old paranoia spilling over, my darker side warning that 'safety' was an illusion.

When Alice called for a Girl Night, I had Jasper join me in the basement. He could sense the mood I was in and changed his fighting style to match my no-holds-barred energy. We threw down rather than fought. He talked me into wearing protective armor, which was a really good idea. We beat the shit out of one another, but with all of the armor... we left no bruises left behind except for one over my jaw. Jasper couldn't help himself, it was his move. Wiry motherfucker. He won two rounds, I was victor for the other three. By the time my aggression level was depleted, we lay on the floor, exhausted, wondering if we would ever move again. It lasted a few hours. I fell asleep and slept well, something that became progressively more difficult to do as double-digits in the countdown became singles. I couldn't shake the bad feeling that churned in my stomach.

As I knew it would, time flew the fuck by. Seven days dwindled down to four. School continued as per normal, dinner with the family every night. Wake up, morning routine, classes, after school, Bella packing and calling friends, e-mailing Renee flight information, shopping... last minute packing. One day left.

Aside from the end of October, November, and especially the last week of December, there weren't many reasons for me to keep an eye on dates. Were it not for Alice, I wouldn't have had a reason to watch for them. The decorations that started appearing were warning enough. Anytime I found myself taking note of the date, it had never ended well for me. The countdown had begun. Same as when I needed to get Alice, every time I tried to escape from... anything. Unlike then, I couldn't come up with any solution that satisfied me.

Bella had spoken with Charlie again, but she didn't ask if he was dating. She said that he had done us the courtesy of waiting until we went to him, revealing that we were dating, and she would do the same. Personally, I don't think she was prepared to know the truth yet. Saying so would make Bella confront him immediately, and the last thing I needed was another reason she should go. I knew her. If she thought Charlie wanted alone time with whomever he was seeing, she would go to Phoenix and stay longer.

Renee might be playing nice in order to get Bella there, voluntarily, but I wasn't willing to trust it would continue after she got there. I was happy with the friendship Bella shared with Rosalie. Long-distance worked for them. I'd have Rose and- whatever the fuck her guy's name was- crash on my couch for all I would give a fuck. I'd pay for their hotel room, minus any damages they brought on the place. So long as they came here rather than have us go there. Avoiding Arizona had been my top priority, thwarted at every fucking attempt.

The night before Bella left, I took her to our cabin again. I wanted her to know that Forks was home, and that she had more than one place in Washington. Rehashing our porn plan, there were a few videos in my phone that would distract me for a few hours at night. Two days would pass, I reassured myself, crawling by as I knew they would. Then I'd be there. Fuck everything else.

Day of, I paced around Bella's room while she put the last of her clothes together. Watching her close the suitcases brought back memories that didn't help me feel any calmer. The number of times I had up and left, packed and unpacked... I was smoking more cigarettes than usual again, too. Alice and I drove her to the airport, Charlie appearing to say his 'See you soon's' before her flight departed. Bella had hugged me, kissing me harder than I expected with her father there.

I closed my car door, the airport disappearing from sight. It was done. Now there was nothing to do except wait. I didn't feel defeated, even. Just tired. The exhaustion that came from fighting a losing battle, yet having to try anyway... Alice turned the music down, raising the window in my car now that I was done with my cigarette. "You haven't said one word since the plane took off."

"What is there to say?" I asked.

"Anything else?"

"Like what? I failed and... she'll be there in five hours."

"You didn't fail. What could you have done?" Alice glared at me.

"I could have called a few friends to have the problem taken care of before it became an actual problem."

"Just like that?" she crossed her arms. "You'd have 'friends' kill Bella's mom?"

"There's code for a reason, you know," I glanced over at her.

"That's not an answer."

"It's a solution."

"Edward!" Alice took a deep breath. "I'm being serious here. I need to know how far gone you are. Thinking about hitmen is normal for you, but I _have_ to know... would you have called them?"

I sighed. "Bella would never agree. I wouldn't- I didn't bother asking. I'll be there soon, right? It's her mother for fuck's sake. She hasn't _done_ anything. Not really. Not yet."

"And if she does?"

"It's Bella's mom," I replied, using her words. "I know how protective she is of her family."

"About halfway down," Alice concluded. "That's not so bad. You've been worse."

"Thanks so much."

"You have been," she insisted, "and you know it's true. Besides, Bella is fully capable of-"

"Defending herself against the area itself, her old contacts that could get her in trouble, the enemies Rose's gang has- and don't try to be optimistic and say they haven't accumulated any, because they all do. Then, dealing with her manipulative mother and could-be-abusive Phil when she's at home? Jesus fucking Christ, Alice! What was I thinking, letting her-"

"You need to calm down," she warned me, forcefully. "Right now, Edward. Take deep breaths and stop thinking about Arizona. Listen to me, okay? You know Bella isn't the type to ask for permission. We've been through this before."

"I didn't try to stop her, did I?" The silence in the car grated on my nerves. "Alice? I didn't prevent her from getting on the plane, or from booking the flight. I've been nothing but supportive. The only thing I did was make sure that she went back with a few new fighting techniques. And before you say it, I hope to hell she doesn't need to use them, but... on the off-chance she will, I had to do something, y'know... useful for her."

"You always come back to that."

"With the amount of trouble we've managed to find... I'm not saying we do it on purpose, but, Alice, c'mon... she made it to the hospital her first day of school. Carlisle's chart said-"

"You looked at her medical history?" Alice gaped at me. "You really did?"

I lit another cigarette. "Before I _knew_ her, okay?"

"Stalker!"

"I was gathering damn information on the off-chance-"

"Creepy stalker!" Alice exclaimed, "I can't believe you did that to her."

"I didn't _do_ anything to her," I snorted. "It told me what I knew already, that's all. I wasn't down to pursue another girl-goes-psycho. She didn't seem the type, but I had to know. You told me she would be your friend, remember? Crazy psycho's not allowed."

"Including you," she warned me. "No Crazy-Psycho you, either."

"Keep an eye out," I relented. "If you see me start acting weird... give me a heads up."

"I'd ask if you want to hang tonight, but I doubt you will?"

I shook my head. "Thanks for the offer. You assumed right, though."

"Don't barricade yourself away for two days, alright? Jasper's not around tomorrow at all, so if you want to do something... go somewhere... Come find me, okay?"

"It's only two days, Alice. I think I can hold it together for two days."

"I'll check on you," she continued as though I hadn't spoken. "I want us to talk, anyway. Tonight... no. Sometime tomorrow."

"You say that like we don't live together."

"We've both been... busy lately," she shrugged. "Growing up takes time."

That had been one of my phrases back when Alice and I were on the streets together. She offered to help with more than I was comfortable with, asking around for odd jobs because we needed money. I knew where that would lead. Whenever she mentioned chipping in, looking for contacts of her own, I would tell her that growing up took time. I was older than her and capable of keeping her safe. When she felt the need to leave me and find a life all her own, that's when she would be grown up enough to work the way I did. Not that I had any intention of letting things go that far.

And they hadn't. I pulled into our driveway, happy to be home. It wasn't such a strange feeling anymore. Carlisle and Esme weer here, Alice would be hanging with Jasper later. I was free to be alone, listen to music... work on the homework that had piled up... I had been procrastinating packing, but now that Bella was on her way to Phoenix, I needed to get my shit together. Starting now.

**Authors End Note:  
**Finally updated! Thanks for all of you who came back! Bella's on her way to Phoenix. Edward should be there soon. Some plot things coming... and that's why I wanted to write a lemon, in case there isn't one for a chapter or two. Hence why I loaded the last few chapters, =p. Anyway, another update coming soon. I've already started working on it. Thank you again for your patience!

**Authors End Note 2:  
A Cellist-  
**Thanks for reading Handcuff! I'm loving Apocalyptica, especially their music videos. Thank you for reviewing!  
**Carlisle's-nose-extension:  
**I love the smell of a bonfire. ^_^. It's Fall and I want to go have a bonfire somewhere, too. Perfect weather. Lol.  
**Fantasy0506-  
**It's writing energy. I was a lot more scattered while I wrote, and it escalated to where... the story went on hold for a while. It happened to Switches, too. =/. Thank you for your honesty! I'm going back to do more Editing- on Chapter 33 now, steadily working toward these chapters. =)  
**Bearygirl-  
**Thanks so much!  
**BurchGirl_  
**Thank you for reviewing!  
**Jbquinn-  
**^_^  
**Guarani Shelion 1811-  
**Wow! Thank you for all of the reviews! From Paraguay, that's crazy cool! =D. You're not horrible at expressing yourself. Not at all. No worries there. You wrote so many reviews, just want to say thank you again as I read through them. =). That was incredibly kind of you, and the nice things you had to say!  
**Tiffanyashm-  
**Thanks!  
**Shehazi-  
**Thank you for leaving your comments. ^_^  
**Ltlnbrt-  
**All true, haha. Thanks so much for reviewing!  
**JadalovesTwilight-  
**I've lost track of 'Phantasms.' I don't know why. It was my first Twilight fanfic, spawned because I didn't like where the plot went in the second book. Bella was too meek. Edward was too uptight. I wanted them to be Canon, but... I don't write Canon-Twilight very well. I do want to go back and write more... maybe Breaking Down will help bring it back. Lol.  
**Svollgraf-  
**I'm nervous about the story ending. Closer, closer still... now Bella's in Phoenix and... there's no more denying. Lol. Ahh! Anyway, thanks for supporting HB so much! =D  
**Vtweetymccn-  
**I hope this chapter answered most of your questions? I've missed hearing from you, Vtweet! I hope things are going well for you.  
**Devildogbully-  
**Thanks!  
**PBJilly-  
**I liked what you wrote a lot. I've thought about that, too. It's true. Edward was a punching bag for most of his childhood. He was weak, they were strong, and I think he learned that the strong tend to survive. Being able to take and deliver pain gave him a new sense of control. And the morals/ethics that he learned along the way and with Alice helped keep him from being terrible. I didn't think you were accusing Edward of being abusive. Lol. I've been careful about writing how he displays his anger, and how he directs it when Bella's around. There's a lot to Phoenix. I get to wade around Bella's brain for the next chapter to tie everything together. Hooray? Haha.  
**MariaLorenzen-  
**Hey, Maria! Trying differing points of views in these chapters. I haven't done it before and I'm not sure how it's going to resolve. Charlie's keeping his secrets, Renee has hers. Bella and Edward have their own plans. Misunderstandings, lack of communication... I had to get Bella to Phoenix somehow, though they fought hard to keep from going. It amuses me, lol. ^_^. Hope to hear from you next chapter!  
**LinLyn-  
**Thank _you!  
_**Ageise02-  
**Uh... for now, I can't write pregnancy into the story. It's the reason I stopped reading Breaking Dawn halfway through. I think it's because I don't want children yet. The whole idea kind of... terrifies me, to be honest. That's not to say that I don't think about having them one day. Until that point, though, my stories are baby free. Haha. I'm 24 and I'm hoping that I won't have to think about kids until I'm at least 30. Lol!  
**Bella340-  
**Thanks? Haha  
**Jasperagirlsince1990-  
**Lol. I tried to warn everyone in the first few chapters... I only write pot, though. Pot is barely a drug. Haha. And it's so very happy-making. =p. Most of this story wouldn't exist without it, I smoke with them and plot develops. Unwinding writing time, yknow? I'm glad you like the rest of the story. Lol.  
**Omgrpatzluvr-  
**A smoker! Howdy, lol. Thanks for your reviews! With a screenname like yours, I'm glad HB Edward is a turn on!  
**19Casey94-  
**Thank you!  
**Cina's-  
**Thanks for the lemon support. Renee married Phil, yes. It doesn't seem to matter in Bella's POV, haha. I didn't like Phil very much in the stories. Guess it shows?  
**Joanna-  
**Sorry I missed your birthday. I wrote the lemon around that time, if that makes up for the belated congrats? Sorry, Joanna. Happy belated birthday!  
**8-24-2011-  
**Sorry to be losing you. Plot's going to be exploding soon. Winding down time was needed before the Phoenix turnaround. Thanks for sticking with the story so far, though.  
**DreamQuill-  
**Drama, yes. Lol. I'm excited about it. Rose and Emmett should appear next chapter. I don't see how they wouldn't. =). Sorry the wait was such a bitch this time. Edward's past helped his character develop. Aside from what Bella's shared, she learned things quietly. Now that she's back in the environment, I'm sure her memories will start flooding through the chapter. I get to make Renee a character, figure out how bad I want Phil to be... Rose and Emmett, how much of a couple they are. Exciting!  
**Josie-  
**I know. Argh. So sorry about the long update time.  
**Bellawant2be-  
**Thanks!  
**Eric-  
**Lol  
**Lovelessjade-  
**Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the songs. =).  
**EdwardsBrunette2-  
**Another lemon fan. Noted, lol. Thanks, EB2!  
**LaSpia-  
**^_^. That was very kind of you. Thank you!


	47. Round Here

**Chapter 47-  
Round Here**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**I don't know anything about Phoenix's high-school football team. Anything I write about Bella's past in AZ is fictional. Its where I need the story to go, so... here we are. **  
Rosalie+Emmett**-  
http:/twilighters(dot)org/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/nikkikelny(dot)png

**Playlist**  
**Sexy and I Know It-**LMFAO  
**Stereo Hearts- **Gym Class Heroes  
**Round Here- **Snoop Dog  
**Just Like You- **Three Days Grace  
**Where Do I Hide- **Nickelback

**Bella's Point of View**

"BELLA!" The entire airport heard him. "BELLA! BEHIND YOU... OVER HERE!"

I located the voice. And I couldn't help laughing despite the mortification that made my face burn. Rosalie sat on the top of a cherry red Jeep. With her blonde hair falling over one side of her shoulder, she had been leaning back on her hands before she saw me. Basking in the warm sun rays, she didn't seem to notice the admiring looks and envious glares pointed her way. Emmett smiled broadly now that he had found me. His deep, booming voice- I definitely remembered him from Phoenix High. Graceful as a dancer, Rose slid down onto the hood and struck a pose for him. It made me smile. That's where I got that move, because of Rosalie and her natural sex appeal. I could hear the two of them from three partitions away now that she was back on the ground.

"You didn't have to be so damn _loud_. Jesus, Emmett. You got the attention of everyone damn here-"

"Babe, you said 'Yell for her.'"

Rosalie was tall for a female, but Emmett towered over her. Broad-shouldered and wide-chested, he was clearly toned. Instead of appearing frightening, the friendliness in his gray-blue eyes was infectious. I liked him already and we hadn't spoken yet. The two of them looked really good together. Like models, they were a couple that made the insecure feel inadequate. Two days, I reminded myself, then Edward would be here. Until that point, this was my town.

"Yell, not bellow." Rosalie pulled me into a hug that made my lungs feel close to collapsing. "Don't argue when Em takes your bags."

"Uh, okay..." Emmett nearly took me with him when he helped pile my suitcase and carry-on into the back.

"Sorry about that," he grinned, steadying me. "Nice to officially meet you, Bella."

"Same," I shook his hand, "Emmett, defense for the football team, and... wrestler now?"

"Yup. It's good practice for football. Easy, too. Take a guy down, win... It's what I do on the field, without so many rules."

Rosalie smiled slowly, remembering something. "He hates rules."

"And airport traffic," Emmett agreed. He moved his seat forward so that I could climb into the back.

"How did you know to pick me up?" I asked.

"I have my ways." Rose was happier than she wanted to admit, now that I was back. Her ice-blue eyes glittered with anticipatory wickedness. I remembered that look every time we had found safe fun. Safe, by our standards.

"Is Renee informed?"

"When I got your text," Rose smiled her manipulative grin, "I dropped by your Mom's. It wasn't hard for me to convince her that I should pick you up."

"What am I, your driver?"

She looked over at Emmett, her eyebrow raising as she soundly slapped his shoulder. "You know I didn't mean it that way."

"Sure, babe."

"We," Rosalie corrected herself. "_We_ dropped by your Mom's and then picked you up." My jaw nearly dropped when she rephrased for him. "Anyway. _We've_ got four hours before you need to be there."

"So... where to, guys? My place?" He looked at me in the rear-view mirror. "Anywhere so long as we leave this airport."

"We're sure as fuck not going to mine," Rose announced. "Bella, have you ever seen Em's place?"

"Nope, I moved before the two of you stated dating."

I waited, but she didn't roll her eyes or scoff at me. She and Emmett were dating. I couldn't wait until we had some alone time. When had all of this happened? Rose stayed far, far away from commitment. The dreams she had didn't have time to wait because things like romance and love found her. She liked useful, open relationships. Mutually beneficial for both parties, Rose always got what she wanted. What did she want from this relationship? Had she embraced her softer feminine side, or were there ulterior motives?

Listening to their conversation, I learned they had been living together for a few months. Emmett had met Rosalie's mother. I was stunned. Whatever happened, Em had been happy to offer her a nicer place to live. I smoked my cigarette, savoring the light pressure between my fingers. The flight hadn't been very long. Just as I started to feel antsy, we were landing. With a window seat, I spent the six hours curled up with Edward's sweatshirt and a book. I finished two of them, the ones I wanted to leave for Rose. She liked historical novels, and I knew all things French fascinated her. With one about Marie Antoinette, the other about Edward IV's mistresses... she would be nicely manipulative for days.

We drove through our old neighborhood. So many memories. There was the alley I had pulled my knife against Jamie's lackeys. Four streets up, that's where Rose and I had been handcuffed together. We weren't going down for drug charges, she had told me. Three guys in her crew provided a distraction, Rose and I had taken off down the street. She pulled me up a fire escape, through one of the apartments, and we made it out the fire exit to where a car was waiting. It was one of my most terrifying memories, running from the police. I knew that we'd be charged for trying to escape if we were caught. Guilt for how Charlie would feel gave me Quicksilver-like speed. That hadn't been the end of my night, but the rest had gone blurry. Relief at having gotten away, fear that we had been identified... tense months of waiting, expecting the cops to break down my front door. Ridiculous fears, police had more on their minds than hunting down two teenagers with minor would-be Possession charges.

When Rose heard a rumor about unregistered firearms, sold cheap... we drove past the building where I stood lookout. I hadn't been comfortable being in the room while they negotiated. Rose said my nervousness would make the price rise. Those eight minutes, waiting, half-expecting to hear one of the guns fired... my threshold for anxious fear had stretched thanks to that situation. Rose had emerged laughing, I unlocked the car doors and made sure we weren't being followed. The profit she expected was enough to keep me quiet about why we needed to sell them. The first and last time, I made her promise me. I didn't want her to be in that much danger for money.

We passed the school. I felt my eyes grow hard even as I smiled. Pain, learning, dealing, skipping, I had been lucky Rose befriended me. I probably would have made it through the year, but my mind would have snapped with boredom. There wasn't much to do in Chandler. If it hadn't been for Rosalie and Vicky, the guys that bought from me and became friends... they helped keep me from strangling on inactivity. We didn't do much more than hang out. We cut school and smoked, wasting days while they made fun of me for wanting to self-educate. I had fit in, yet jokes like that made me realize that I wasn't 'one of them.' They thought I was amusing, I gained their respect because I could hold my own, but I was still a misfit among them because I liked to read so much. Rose understood to a certain point. She liked books... just not enough to have one with her all of the time.

There was my bookstore. The library, post office, grocery store. I grinned, seeing the rusted green dumpster behind the Buy-Rite. The money itch burned through my veins. I had made some nice cash, just standing there. Hidden by the dumpster, cars pulled in and out all of the time- I did a lot of my dealing around rush-hour. Fifties flying everywhere, selling all of my stash in a day... my eyes rolled back. It had been so _easy_. I wouldn't trust it now. Someone had probably taken over once I had left, or maybe the cops had caught on... I wasn't going to walk into a trap. The guys I had bought pot from weren't around anymore. I had made a rule on the plane. No asking Rosalie for connections. So long as I stuck to it, I wouldn't be tempted into making some money whilst I was here. The desert evened out as we got closer to Scottsdale. Even their sand looked nicer, the buildings more like mansions. The rent they asked was astronomical, and there weren't many apartments available for people with our income. I blinked, seeing the driveway we were pulling into. There was a pool in Emmett's backyard. Their lawn was taken care of, not just mowed so it would appear neat. The hedges alone made me think 'wealthy.' Emmett's parents were rich. A short set of stairs led to their ornate, heavy, white front door. Toward the side of the house, Rose climbed the longer flight of stairs first.

"The house came with five rooms," Emmett explained. "I was going to move out, but... I ended up moving around instead. The two rooms toward the back of our house, yeah, those are mine now. Further away from my parents, y'know? And I have space and freedom to do what I want."

"He means that he's sorry we're not going through the front door. It's easier this way."

"Ah," I nodded. "Doesn't matter to me."

Rose and I had sneaked into vacant rooms. We rented hotels when we wanted to be away from our parents. It had been my first taste of real freedom, staying out late with Rose and her crew.

"Why public school?" I asked, looking around. Living in a house like this, Emmett could have had his pick of schools. Maybe not because of his grades, I didn't really see anything educational in his room. There were a bunch of game consoles and games, sports magazines mixed with auto part catalogs. Baseball, football, wrestling posters, there were three very large binders of sports cards stacked in the corner.

"It was my choice," Emmett shrugged. "Their football team was the best in the area. I didn't want to move again. They get scouted more, too."

"I thought you were going to clean," Rose sighed. "Sorry for the mess, B."

"It's not messy," I disagreed. It wasn't. Lived-in, maybe, but my room had looked a lot worse than this. Everything in the bedroom felt large. His bed, the dressers, the six-foot mirror in one of his corners. There were Jerseys hanging on the walls that I could wrap around me three times. I liked it, though. Masculine in a different way, I could see him relaxing with a beer, playing some Madden while Rose did her nails. The game case was empty and there was a bottle of purple nail-polish on the bed's end table.

"You'll see my room in a second. We'll go there and get high, if you want. I know you're probably dying to smoke some _good_ shit."

"Weed's not that different in Forks," I said. "I was surprised, too. You'll see when you come to visit. Edward knows someone, I know someone- we've got you guys covered."

"Of course you do. What am _I_ going to do in the woods?" Rose asked. "Honestly. Me?"

"I haven't been bored once. You'll like it," I insisted. "I want you to see where I'm living. You'll have the chance to breathe fresh air. Who wouldn't want that? And, Emmett- if you like adrenaline highs... you should see cliff-diving."

"I've always wanted to try that," he smiled. "I'm down to visit Washington."

"Good. You're coming to see me next, Rose. I don't plan on coming back to Phoenix for a very long time."

"Maybe for Christmas vacation," she relented.

"You mind?" Em asked, already holding a 360 controller.

"Tune out, babe." Rose rolled her eyes at me. "Fantasy-something, league whatever-the-fuck. He's been obsessed recently."

"The Super Bowl's coming up soon. Charlie's been really excited about it, too."

"I know the rules now. I'm learning about all of the... positions," she smirked to herself. "That I find myself caring to begin with... Well, look at him. He's stronger than he looks, and he's strong to begin with. I like it."

I really didn't know what to say. Emmett might have lived here by himself, but there was just as much of Rosalie's stuff around as there was of his. He was very laid-back, I appreciated that about him. Rose's energy was what I remembered. She was growing impatient with polite conversation. Still for less than two minutes, I noticed her looking around for something to do.

"Emmett doesn't smoke," she said. "Athlete, y'know? Come and see my room. I want to get high with you."

"He doesn't mind?" I asked, following her into an adjoining room. "I've never understood how a smoker can date a non-smoker. He's completely cool with it?"

"Eh," she shrugged. "It annoys him when I light up with the Jeep windows closed. I don't blow pot smoke in his face or anything. He likes when I get really high..."

"Yeah," I knew what she was talking about. "It's an amazing thing."

"We hangout in this room. He wanted me to feel that I have space of my own when I need it. A lot happened... Since you're going to ask, yes. Yes, I sleep with him at night."

"That's a big step for you," I grinned. "I told you it wouldn't be an 'invasion of your space.'"

The question I really wanted to ask was, what had prompted her to move in with him? Had her mother finally snapped, become violent enough to be taken away? It wasn't the time for heavy questions. Not yet. After we got high, Rose would offer information rather than making me pry. She closed the door behind us and opened one of the windows. This definitely looked more her style. There were clothes spilling out of tan oak drawers. Her bed was made, but she hadn't done anything more than shake out the comforter. There were bottles of lotion on her end table, tubes of lipstick, eyeliner, mascara on the dresser with a mirror. With a larger one on the back of her door, I remembered that she liked owning both a full-body and smaller face mirror.

"Em's cool with pot. He used to smoke. What I don't understand is... he doesn't have the urge to get high anymore. He says being on the field, scoring points- that's a better feeling than doing drugs. I'm happy it doesn't bother him, don't get me wrong. I just don't know how-"

"He has good self-control," I guessed. "He's very decisive? It's impressive either way."

"How much of a stoner is Edward? Does he smoke like you?"

"Yup," I smiled. "He tends to be very passionate about the things he loves."

"He's one of those sensitive types, huh," she rolled her eyes.

That made me laugh. "No, not really. He is very understanding, though."

"My mental image is shaky. I have to wait and see this guy in person before I judge. Em passes your judgment call, right?"

"So far," I replied honestly. "He seems cool. I'm glad... this... is working for you."

"Me too." She wandered around while I looked around. This wasn't going to get awkward, but I wanted to keep conversation going. It was the only way I would get answers.

"So," I flopped down on her bed, "catch me up. What have I missed? And where's the rolling paper? I know you want me to roll."

"Nice," she smiled at me. "I've missed your blunts."

She ground the pot while I gutted the cigar. Doing something familiar helped me relax. Now that I had smoked a cigarette, settled down, I lost the weightless feeling I felt from being on the plane. I could see why Rose liked it here. The energy was... calming. She hadn't turned her television on yet, I liked the quiet-yet not silence. Emmett's game cheered at him, I heard 'Thunderstruck' by AC/DC playing. Good song.

"The crew's been okay. They're either home or in Vegas. Holiday vacation," Rose sighed, lying down next to me. "We graduate in five months. Can you believe it? Everyone's been so fucking lazy. We need a jumpstart or two to get profit rolling back in."

"Does Em know about-"

"How would he not?" She dusted off her hands, "Just because he has money of his own... that doesn't mean I don't want some security of _my_ own. I'm not sleeping with anyone but him. That's never how I made money."

"I wasn't implying-"

"Yeah, I know _you_ weren't. People talk, you know what I mean? It never bothered me before. If they were stupid enough to think I'd blow them to score some pot, whatever else..." her eyes went cold and hard, "they deserved what they got. I run a profitable, underground business. Emmett knows that."

"No repressed anger there," I licked the paper to make it stick.

"Not at him. He thinks it's hot that I'm in a position of power. And he really likes that I can kick someone's ass." Rose grabbed one of her pillows and bunched it up underneath her arms.

This was why we didn't do well long-distance. Most of what I learned came from her body language. Rose wasn't a huge talker. It took time for her to peel back the brusque exterior. She wasn't someone I would ever describe as 'soft.' For whatever reason, I was happy that she could confide in me. She hated it, feeling better after we talked, especially when there were actual emotions involved. Time had helped her accept my friendship, and I knew she had stopped caring about being 'tough' when it was the two of us, alone.

"You know, when we go out... I thought my friends would weird him out. You know, the guys that do favors for me-"

"The massage guy, pole-dancing dude, the bartenders that let you drink for free?"

"Yes, Bella," she replied dryly. "I noticed you went out of your way to deal for useful people, too. Don't cast stones-"

"I wasn't casting any stones. Jesus. You're defensive as fuck."

"Spark that shit already!" Rose smiled, enjoying that I wasn't hesitating to be 'snarky,' as she put it. "I was in the middle of my story, by the way."

"By all means..." I lit the blunt and inhaled, "... continue, then." I listened, staring at the ceiling. The way she explained what happened played in quick images within my mind.

She had been hanging with him after school one day. It was established that they were a couple. She wore his jacket through the halls, and when he persuaded her to come to a game... I gathered that she liked his release of adrenaline the same way I did whenever Edward let lose. That wasn't something I needed to imagine.

"So, after, I dropped by my place to pick up a couple of things-"

Rose hadn't lived in the trailer park community. Her mother had a house, but... there wasn't anyone around to do work on it. With two bedrooms, a bathroom, a small living room that opened to an even smaller kitchen- she hadn't slept there more than twice a week. When she woke up with little red bedbug bites on her legs, she stopped sleeping there altogether. I had been the silent observer for that fight, watching as Rose packed while her mother screamed obscenities.

Their routine was usually the same. Rosalie would notice something, bring it to her mom's attention. There would be a brief period of quiet, and then... chaos. Yelling, flinging things, her mother would go ape-shit while swearing she should have stayed skinny and had an abortion. Terrible things were said, I hated Rosalie's stunned silence that lasted for hours after we left.

"'You're not going back there.' He told me that when we got to his place. If I needed anything, he would get it for me. Emmett meant it then, he still means it now... and I actually like him. Damnit," she laughed, hiding the embarrassment she still felt from that night. "I don't need him to buy me things. It's why I busted my ass once I moved out of my Mom's. I've got money, I help him pay rent on... our place. I should have moved out sooner, but... I like it here. I've got friends and business that have nothing to do with _her. _The way I used to live- I keep expecting him to, I don't know, lay some standard that I won't be able to follow. There were so many rumors going on about us, me... I love that he has money, y'know, but I'm past needing it. It bothers me, some of the things they said. How twisted is that?"

Ah. I understood now. The whole story had dwindled down to several startling points. Rose had felt comfortable enough with a guy to let him meet her mom, see where she came from. This guy had lived up to her expectation and acted the way she hoped he would. However he had gotten her to 'date' him, the relationship stuck. Rose was safe, happier than I had seen her... ever. That was enough for me.

"It's only a dream for them," I said. " You're living what they want. Don't let them get to you. You're stronger than them, remember?"

"It bothers me, but it doesn't _bother_ me. Does that make any sense? Am I just that high?"

"Yes and probably, yes. You want to be better for him," I rationalized, "but he likes you as you are. Weird feeling, right?"

"That's twisted, too," she sighed at me.

"We should have talked sooner. I thought most of the things you said, in different ways. The end result? If you're happy- fuck everything else. Ignore what people say, do what you want, have him do what he wants... compromise when there's no other solution, and... live."

"If it were that easy..."

"Edward's helped me realize it is. It is just that easy."

"That's because you moved into the forest. It's a little different in the city, babe."

"See if you say that after you're there," I challenged her.

Conversation dwindled. I always felt the same way around Rose. Efficient, capable, matter-of-fact-

"I'll be back in a minute," she broke into my reverie.

"Going to take advantage of the high?"

"Going to talk about borrowing the Jeep so I can take you into Glendale myself." Her lips curled wickedly. "Unless you want to piss Renee off and stay over tonight?"

"I want to come back and hang with you, but I don't want to make her worry, no. Depending on how things go, do you mind if I-"

"Don't bother with questions like that," Rose glared at me. "How many times did you let me-"

"I didn't count." I glared back at her, not needing to hear the rest. "I'm not looking to 'even up.'"

"I'm proud of you, B," she said finally. "You stand up for yourself more. I can't take credit for that, but it's good to see my influence hasn't been lost."

"Yeah, yeah," I blew smoke at her. "Go get the keys and let me smoke."

I had wanted to wait until we were settled somewhere before I called Edward. It was four now. He would be home if he hadn't gone to hang somewhere. I flipped my phone open and pressed 3, speed-dialing.

"Hey, babe," he replied, sounding distracted. "Can I call you back in two minutes?"

"Yup. Later." I wasn't angry with him. He knew that had been Time-efficient me. I hoped I hadn't gotten Edward pulled over. So much for him having an easy day. I laid back on Rose's bed, her perfume lingering in the pillows. Pot, too. Relaxation was near, but I couldn't find it yet. I was worried about my talk with Renee. Seeing Phil again- he had been one of the deciding factors when it came to moving. To get away from his... weirdness, thank fuck for Forks.

"Hey," I answered the phone a few minutes later. "Everything okay?"

"Um... Do you want the good news first, or-"

"Bad first."

"Of course. So, um, the ticket I thought I'd booked. Um, it wasn't really a ticket. I have _no_ idea what the fuck- Preferred something, stand-by... they kept rattling _terms_ and-"

"Edward? Breathe," I reminded him. "What does that mean, overall?"

"With the storm coming, it looks like I'm not getting out of here for three days instead of the two it should have been."

"Um, okay. That's not a problem. When did you learn all of this? Is there anything I can do?"

"The airline left an automated message... something about all of the seats having been booked. They gave me the alternative options, but with weather advisory warnings playing here... there's no guarantee I'll fly out Wednesday. I talked to Esme and Carlisle about booking a flight for today, but they didn't see why an extra day should matter."

"We'll leave Friday, and that's less time you'll have to deal with Renee..."

"Yeah, well, I'm waiting to hear back from other airlines. I'll keep you updated. All of the other flights- with their layovers, I wouldn't get there until Wednesday anyway. Fucking snow," he snorted. "How has your day been?"

"Alright. Er, the flight was okay. I'm hanging at Rose's now. You'll like it here. It's very... chill."

"Have you seen Renee yet?"

"Nope, she's working 'til five. I'm smoking up, stocking up, and I'll be sober in time for dinner. I'll text you a picture of the house. I'm hoping for the best."

"If you don't like it there, call me. I'll book you a hotel room."

"I'll call you from the hotel room to let you know where I'm staying, you mean? Right. Yeah, that's my plan too."

Edward sighed. "I'm in problem solving mode-"

"So let me eliminate some of what you're worrying about," I replied, logically. "What was the good news? You told me the bad already."

"The good news?" he thought for a moment. "Oh. Right. Our names were taken off the Best Couple list, whatever it was. We missed two of the meetings, apparently. Alice reamed me out for an hour. Did you know there were meetings?"

"No. Shit. Tell Alice I'm sorry? I should have known..."

"I already apologized. Plenty of times. We were low on the charts, anyway. We aren't very approachable as a couple, I heard."

That made me laugh. "We're not? Is that because we've skipped so much?"

"I think it's because you threatened the head cheerleaders with a knife."

"You think that's the reason, huh? Not because you have a feud with the school quarterback, or the way you man-handle Mike around the halls..."

"Ha," he chuckled. "The only person I want to manhandle... It's not Newton."

"Aside from the ticket hassle, you're okay?"

"I'm in Forks. You're the one I'm worried about."

"I'll probably be home all night tonight," I reassured him. "If I'm not there, it's probably because I've come back to hang at Rose's. I don't have plans to go out anywhere, no worries."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't-" Edward made a frustrated sound. "I want you to have a good time, y'know? I don't want to be _that_ boyfriend. Just-"

"You'll feel better once you're here?"

"Is that how you feel?"

"A little, yeah," I laughed.

"Fuck," he groaned. "There's another call coming in."

That's what that beep had been. "Call me later. Smoke with me before you fall asleep?"

"Sure thing. Be safe, babe."

"You too."

He was miles away, but talking with him helped lower my anxiety level. I liked that he had seemed a little more relaxed by the time we hung up. I'd have to call Alice later and apologize for not knowing about the meetings. If she had mentioned them... I didn't remember saying we would be there. We were unapproachable, I smiled and lit a cigarette. Jasper and Alice were sure to win, anyway. They had our support whether we were on the committee or not.

"You look happy," Rose commented, coming back into the room. "Worried, but happy. What's up?"

"Flight delay," I shared the information Edward have given me.

"Tell me more about him. Actually, tell me about him while I dye my hair? I'm tired of being blonde."

This wasn't strange. Rose had me help her put blue streaks into her hair at one point. We were sneaking into a rave and she wanted us to blend. Speaking of, "Are there any raves going on this week?"

"Unfortunately, no. There's a Pole-Dancing competition going on... Friday. If you want to make some money, I know a guy that stages fights-"

"Nope," I shook my head, not needing to hear any more. "I don't want to take Edward anywhere near an underground fight."

I sat against the door while she dunked her head into the bathtub. It made me smile, remembering Halloween. Time had passed so quickly... I shared a few stories so Rose could get a more realistic version of Forks. I told her about meeting Alice for the first time, the hospital trip later that day.

"Deer Valley," Rose groaned. "That was _such_ a fucked up night."

I blew my cigarette smoke into the heating vent. "Isabel Swen, small world."

"Silver lining? You made 'crazy' work for you."

"Thanks for coming to bail me out. I've no idea how long I would have been there if you hadn't come through with my passport and papers."

"It was my fault you were there, anyway. If I had grabbed you and ran as I wanted to, you wouldn't have been caught. I froze and fucked up."

"They shined a flashlight at us and asked if I was Isabel Swen. How could you have known they'd wrestle me onto a stretcher? It was better that you stayed back. You came through, that's all that mattered."

"It didn't happen again, right?" she asked. "You shouldn't have scared them so much. It was hell, talking them into releasing you."

"My older sister Katlyn," I laughed. "I can't believe you had the balls to use your fake I.D at Deer Valley."

"I didn't want them knowing my real name and where I lived," she snorted. "Not even for you am I going to spend any amount of time at the Valley."

"Speaking of craziness... should I avoid the old hangout spots? What has Jamie been up to?"

"I don't know. No one's seen him."

"He's gone?" I froze, not daring to believe it. My tension level dropped enough for me to feel.

"I was waiting for the right moment to tell you. Sorry it wasn't before now." I waved her apology away. Good news was better delivered late than not at all. "Three guys in suits were waiting for him after school. That was... two months ago. I have people watching for his return, but so far? With the suits, the shiny black SUV they drove... I'd be surprised if he comes back."

Oh my fuck. That was fantastic. I wouldn't have to skulk around, looking over my should every few minutes, more paranoid than usual. Jamie had been so normal at first. Aside from leaving flowers in my locker, swooping in to buy things for me around town, he was charming. Engaging. I should have trusted my instincts. That I wasn't able to relax with him would have been telling enough had I not evolved into Street-Smart Bella.

He had 'courted' me for five months. It wasn't until February that I relented and hung out with him alone. He took me to the movies, and then we went back to his place. If I hadn't been fighting with Renee, I probably would have been in a more secure mindset. As it was, I had been willing to go anywhere provided I didn't have to go back home. I was impressed that he had an apartment of his own. Family money, he explained. His parents were trapped in Florida for business reasons. I liked his sense of independence, but something about him had made me wary. Maybe it was because he seemed so secretive all the time, as though his stories were darker, more twisted than anyone could imagine. Because he enjoyed power games, he wouldn't give away the secrets that made him feel superior.

At his apartment, he had kept his distance. I felt him looking at me a few times, yet aside from kissing me before walking me to the door... nothing. My judgment had been all kinds of fucked. I trusted too easily, Rosalie listed my faults for me, my eyes were too expressive, I needed new clothes- Rose had helped, and inadvertently helped turn my inner equilibrium on its side. I wanted to connect with someone and Jamie was the most promising candidate in Phoenix High.

The next time we watched a movie at his place, I hadn't minded the making-out part so much. It wasn't until he pinned me down that I realized how very uncomfortable I was with the situation. Part of me wanted to give in, to just go with it. My rational side won if only because I didn't trust him enough for anything to continue. He was unknowingly hurting me, his elbows digging into the side of my arms, and I had started to panic because I couldn't breathe. Liking it rougher than normal was one thing, but not with someone that seemed to see me as a receptacle for lust that had nothing to do with me. With Jamie, I never had the feeling that he wanted _me._ He wanted me because enough other people did, it made me a challenge he wanted to conquer.

"_Jaye- Hurting, move a little-"_

"_I love when a girl fights back," he had snarled, smiling wickedly as he ignored my attempts to get out from under him. Yeah... that wasn't normal. For a split-second, I swore there was something inhuman in his eyes. Self-preservation might have kicked in a little late, but every instinct screamed that I needed to get out of there. The easy way first, and if he tried to stop me from leaving... I'd fight my way out. _

"_I'm serious, Jamie," I wheezed, trying to ignore the numbness overtaking my lower body. "Get up for a second." _

_"Goddamnit, Bella." He all-but yelled. _"_How many times are you going to blue-ball me?"_

"_Up," I snapped, no longer needing to hide my irritation. My body wasn't sure what to do first. Breathing was a good idea. I ached in several places, and I knew my skin would hold his bruises. That really annoyed me._

"_I didn't peg you for the cock-teasing bitch," he sniped. "Didn't think you were the type."_

_His hands were suddenly around my neck. I looked into his eyes, shocked that he had dared touch me that way. Gathering calm I didn't feel, I shoved him backwards. Had he phrased things differently, I might have felt bad for inadvertently teasing him. Seeing the anger and irritation in his eyes... no one called me a bitch. He fell off the couch, cursing and throwing pillows around the room. I refrained from kneeing his blue balls on my way out, I had been proud of myself. _

_And he had been waiting for me the next day, outside of school. _

_"Go away, Jamie."_

_"If you want me to leave you alone... I'll do that. Will you hear me out first? There isn't any excuse. I know that. Being drunk and horny- I shouldn't have fallen on you like that." I had actually seen sincerity in his eyes. He looked so ashamed of himself... "You had to have known I wanted you. Why do you think I kept trying to get you alone?" _

_"I knew you were interested," I protested. "You seemed to be okay with the fact that we were friends. It's not just you, y'know. I don't date anyone..." _

_ "That's because none of them are worth dating."_

_ "... I don't want to be with anyone, that way. I've told you this before. I'm running out of polite ways to keep from rejecting you, outright."_

_ "Friends, then," he said after a minute, offering me his hand. "Be my friend and I'll know you forgive me, Bella babe." _

_ I sighed. Some guys would never learn. I hated the nickname, especially when he said it. Always in that placating tone, like he assumed all I needed was time and I'd bend to his will if he were persistent enough. Rose was the only one I let get away with it. "Stop calling me that and I'll call you my friend."_

_"Have I dropped so far in your opinion that the only thing I can hope for is your friendship?" He smiled charmingly, "I can be very persuasive."_

_"Trust me," I stared at him, "I know." _

_"Alright," Jamie laughed. "That was pushy of me. I'm beginning to learn the boundaries." _

_Just beginning to? I had known him for months now. He was egotistical, chauvinistic, selfish, and half-mad when he went into one of his rages. Any one of those traits would have been enough to warn me away. That I had let things go so far... I had no one to blame but myself. Frustration, dissatisfaction, anger at Renee for being so blind to Phil's faults- I hadn't seen my own creeping out from under the surface. Insecurity and blind rage, wanting to do something reckless in order to distract from what life had become- I was paying for my mistake. The new fear I felt around Jamie was enough to keep me from making the same mistake again. And all because he had been attractive, seductive, and reckless as I felt. _

_"Look, I'll even tell you more about my... er, situation. If you can forgive me for being such a jerkoff, I can tell you the truth about me." _

_"The truth?" I looked around, comforted to see the crowd of people forming around the school's front doors. "What truth would that be?"_

_"I didn't lie about having lived in Florida. My parents are there because of work. Counseling, too. I, er, haven't told anyone that before." _

_"I'm sorry," I heard myself say. "No wonder you don't like talking about them." _

_"Yeah, well, their marriage bottomed out a few years ago. They started seeing someone, their counselor, as their last shot at making it. If all goes well, they'll find a way to stay together. If not, they'll finish working and... be here when I graduate from college." He took a deep breath and reached into my pocket for one of my cigarettes. I felt my eyes narrow, the brief flash of irritation fading at the pain in his voice. "There are a lot of kids with broken homes. I mean- shit," Jamie glanced at me. "... sorry. I forgot your parents split." _

_"They divorced," I said solidly. "I have two homes, that's all. Neither of them are... broken." _

_"Right. Exactly. See? You understand me. You're strong like I am. We're different than the other kids here. Smarter, too. If you want to talk... I'm here for you, Bella." _

_"As a friend," I tried to even things out again. "I happen to make a great friend."_

_"You don't see yourself clearly," he replied, his eyes tender for the first time. "I know you will. Soon."_

_A week later he and Victoria declared themselves a couple. For the first time, it seemed, Jamie listened to something I said. He had a habit of taking things we talked about and twisting them around so that he always sounded right. As though he were sympathizing with me, making me feel better- when, in fact, it had been him to introduce something about his past. I could ignore it in an acquaintance, but from a friend? I was glad Vicky occupied so much of his time. _

Jamie had underestimated my intelligence, probably because I was a female whereas he was a male. His parents had done a wonderful job when it came to mind-fucking their son. He came from money, had access to it while his mother and father were away, and it showed in the way he spoke and treated people. He was charming when he wanted to be, yet there were usually manipulative reasons. He felt that he was entitled to deferential treatment because... well, that part was never very clear. That he hadn't thought of me as a threat worked in my favor. When he became 'Creepy Stalker Jamie,' I was able to keep finding new and inventive ways of avoiding him, escaping him, and talking my way out of situations when he cornered me. I was still shaky at how foolish I had been.

Now that Edward and I were together, I didn't need to worry anymore. I had been prepared to face Jamie, alone, once and for all. If I caught him stalking me through the streets, I was ready to attack first and talk later. And were my plans to fail, I'd enlist Edward's help to take Jaye down. I didn't think he would mind my asking him for help.

"I haven't told Edward very much about Jamie," I admitting, wanting Rosalie's opinion.

"Do you need to? He _is _gone. Will it hurt the two of you if E knows?"

"I don't _need_ to, but I want to. He knows there's something about Phoenix that makes me nervous. I tried to bring it up... I'm just saying... I don't want to be the cause of any, um, physical confrontations. Edward's going to take the information very personally. If he didn't have the connections to track Jamie down, I'd be less worried. As it is-"

"If you're as sure about this guy as you seem... trust him to keep you safe. Being brought up as an accomplice to murder? Not safe."

"He wouldn't be caught."

Her smile was sudden and vicious, but the look she sent my way was a serious one. "Should I be worried about you?"

"No."

Alright, I decided. Soon as Edward got here, I would do some sharing. It wasn't something he needed to know, yet I knew he would appreciate the truth. Jamie, hopefully, was far, far away. I didn't care where so long as he didn't return.

"Okay. Are you going to tell him, or are you going to do the safe thing and gloss over what happened?"

"Which do you think?" I asked.

Rosalie sighed and gracefully shrugged her shoulder. "I need to rinse my hair. Mind getting the back? I don-t'

"- want to rip open a finger on the faucet? Every damn time, no matter where-"

"B? It's starting to burn my eyes. Rant later, will you?"

That made me laugh. "Bend over lower, I'm going to get my knuckles caught in-"

"Hey, babe?" Emmett called. I heard him moving around the apartment. "Where's the cord for my controller?"

I watched the water run black as it swirled down the drain. It had taken hold, I was pleased to see. Rose did a good job spreading the dye. No blonde strands showed through the new dark brown color.

"It's not in the- ... whoa," Emmett came to stand in the doorway.

"Like a fucking magnet," Rose said, turning the water off, "whenever two women are-"

"Y'know," Emm cleared his throat. "If the two of you need help-"

"Check yourself," Rosalie snapped her towel at him. I stepped back, not bent over her anymore. My back appreciated the change in position. "What were you looking for?"

"It can wait."

"Don't fuck with me, Emmett. What did I tell you about Bella? I _will_ smack the shit out of you."

"You have to clean the bathroom anyway," he chuckled. "I'll find the charger myself, don't worry about it."

"Make my day." She smiled, though, taking the sting out of her words.

"Your hair looks good, babe. Lighter than Bella's, darker than mine. I like it."

"Me too," I added. "It does look really good."

"Thank you both. Let me know what you think once it dries, too?" Rose went quiet, thinking to herself. "The charger cord's back in the 360 box. We organized the living room, remember?"

"Sweet. I'm paused right after half-time. And hey," Emmett caught my attention before he left. "You know I meant no disrespect, right? You're like... Rose's sister. Her homegirl."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"We're going to head out soon, just so you know?"

"Sure. Take Bella off-roading, it's more fun with the bigger tires."

Rose went over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll take care of your baby."

The way he looked back at her, I couldn't help feeling awkward. 'And I'll take care of you,' I could see it in his eyes. When she pulled back, he smiled broadly and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Your hair smells really good, too." He kissed the side of her head and made growling sounds as he nibbled at her ear.

"Hands like a bear," she looked toward her shoulder. "Sorry for the almost-P.D.A. I'm sure you and Edward have your own... public affection limits?"

I grinned. "When I remember to remind him."

"Do you have any clothes you want to unpack and leave here?" Rose inquired. "Might as well do that now, right?"

"Actually, yeah, I do. Thanks for offering-"

"Ugh," Rose groaned, drowning out the rest of my reply. 'You left and all of my work has gone to hell."

**o . o . o**

Mom ran out of the house and pulled me into a hug after we pulled into the driveway. We nearly fell into a lawn gnome, so hard did she hug me and twirl us around the lawn. She tended to be very emotional. Passionate, people said. Most artists were. Frantic as she could be when things went wrong... when all was going well? She glowed. I felt part of my resentment and anger fade. It made me angry, but... she looked so much happier. How could I bring her back to where we had been? The future was all that mattered, and Renee seemed to be back on track.

The house was smaller than I had envisioned. Compared to Dad's place in Forks, Edward's house, and Emmett's apartment- I remembered how Renee had lived before. It was a vast improvement. I left my suitcases near the living room couch and hoped there weren't roaches waiting to get into my clothes. Appearances weren't everything. We had learned that after booking a hotel room at an Extended Stay. Mom had told me they were beetles, attracted to the water she ran for her bath every night. They weren't.

While I looked around, Renee bustled around straightening picture frames, rearranging candles. Two sticks of incense sat in their carved wooden holders. She had gotten some of the furniture out of storage. After down-sizing from the house she had owned to the old apartment, half of our stuff just... hadn't fit. There was room in this living room for our end-tables, decorated with small, colorful flower arrangements. The paintings hanging in the kitchen, den, and their bedroom were new. Along with learning to cook, Renee had found her way back to art. All of the changes, thus far, seemed good.

The bathroom was larger than the old apartment's, by far. Renee had gotten new, soft towels. It helped, seeing that the toilet paper hadn't been bought at the dollar store. There were other things I noticed around the house that satisfied me into believing things were better. Mom had invested in pots, pans, cookie sheets, a George Foreman grill, and several new blenders. I remembered times of saltines and ramen, wearing coats around the house to keep the heat bill low. It was toasty warm now, and I was amazed to at the good smells emanating from the oven. With food in the fridge, dried goods stacked in the cupboards, a few magazines on the living room table... I sat near my bags, not worried about vermin or insects anymore.

"You look good," Mom said, sitting next to me. "Forks really seems to be agreeing with you."

"Thanks," I smiled. "You're doing well, too, huh? The place looks great, I love the new paintings."

She talked about art, I shared small facts about friends, what Charlie had been up to. I told her about school, the grades I had been getting, what after-school clubs I hadn't joined. Mom had always understood my aversion to people. Conversation was easy, as it had been before Phil. It made me wonder if her new-found freedom had something to do with it. Had the blinders been removed? Did she see how badly Phil had been holding her back? She asked how my visit with Rosalie had gone. I felt a moment of panic, wondering if she could smell the pot on my clothes. Febreeze and perfume didn't always work. But no, she was just curious.

'Um... I'll be sleeping in the living room, then?"

"Er- sorry, sweetie. We leased the place for six months, I knew you would be in Washington, and-"

"It's cool. No worries, I was just wondering."

"And when your friend Edward gets in, he can stay with a friend of Phil's after he visits."

"With- When he-"

"The couch isn't very large, you know. There's plenty of room at Marcus'. He's a buddy of Phil's from his baseball team, and-"

"Um, yeah, Mom?"

"It'll only be for a night or two, it's no trouble at all."

"... I think Edward booked a hotel room already." Quick-thinking helped me lie. Edward wasn't staying with any friend of Phil's. Not when we could have a room of our own, without parents around to hear what we said, what we were doing.

Renee's eyebrows raised. "A hotel room?"

"Yeah. He, y'know, didn't want to assume he'd be staying with us. It made sense to me... I mean, you two have never met, there's Phil and his dislike of people staying the night. It just... made sense that he have a hotel room, in case he wasn't as welcome here as we'd hoped."

"I want you to do whatever makes you comfortable," she replied. "I know I was a little crazy the last couple of months you were here..."

The last few years, not months. I blinked at her, already bracing inside. What would come next? A Mom-daughter talk where she asked me about sex, protection, things I wasn't comfortable discussing with a friend let alone my mother. Or would she pry for information about my relationship with Edward?

"You told me I should see a psychologist, remember?" Renee looked worried.

"Yes..." I remembered the fight clearly. Irritation with Phil made me snap. When Mom had reminded me that I didn't need to work, that I had no idea what holding a job entailed- I pointed out that we managed to make rent payments because of the money I chipped in. The fight escalated, both of us screaming at the other. As it wound down, I slammed my fist against the wall and told her to seek psychological help. It was way past time. We had just moved into the shit apartment. It didn't help that I had been beyond pissed that we lost the house.

"You said something like, 'If I can't make you see how much of your life you've lost, maybe someone licensed will.' So I booked an appointment."

"Um. How?" I was referring to finances and she knew it.

Her cheeks flushed and she stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Your grandparents supported the idea."

"Oh." That must have stung. The truth tended to hurt. "I'm proud of you for calling them."

"You know I've started the new job. I'm finding ways to occupy my time. I stopped taking the damn depression medication. My moods were all over the place, I gained weight. I started getting headaches," she massaged her temples. "I'm sorry you had to see me that way, Bella."

Pills had been the reason she started behaving so erratically? I felt a little ashamed of myself. But then, I hadn't known she was seeing a psychologist.

"Are you still going to talk with... him?"

"Her," Renee answered. "Yes, but once a month now instead of twice a week. I'm no longer taking any medication, and... I've started seeing how bad things used to be. I'm sorry for that, too. If I hadn't-" she inhaled slowly, exhaled with her eyes closed, " That's why I pushed for you to visit. I wanted you to see the changes. I'm not going to dwell in the past. I am focusing on what I want to change in the future."

"That's what I do," I smiled at her recitation. "It tends to make everything easier."

"You've always been strong," she sighed. "Like your father."

I shifted around on the couch. Now I was uncomfortable. There wasn't any irritation in her tone, mentioning Dad. That, too, was an improvement.

"You wanted to talk about Phil?" Her expression closed slightly, as though she were bracing for one an explosion of some kind.

"Maybe later," I grinned, diffusing the situation. "I want to say hello and see... how he is. If there's anything to talk about, we will?"

"Okay, sweetie," she replied. "I don't want to become isolated in my problems. I'm more aware of what's happening around me. If Phil doesn't treat you as he should... I want to take the steps to correct this problem."

If she hadn't told me about seeing a psychologist, I would have known by now. Renee was big on using repetition in order to remember things. There were grocery lists from years ago that I could remember because of how many times she had re-listed the items on the way over. It worked for her. She had a memory like an elephant. Once learned, she wouldn't forget. None of the things she heard from her psych sounded damaging. Helpful, productive, yes. That's all I had wanted. And now I knew that she would be more open-minded to criticism about Phil. I didn't expect the two of us would form a bond, plot to get him out of the house, and throw his destitute ass into the slums of Arizona. One could, however, hope.

"What's on the agenda for the rest of today?" I asked.

"When do you want to celebrate Thanksgiving?" she countered. "Tonight might be a little late. I've only half the food prepared... but you could help me with the rest if you don't mind a little Mom-daughter bonding."

"That'd be great," I agreed.

"I'm sorry the cooking fell to you so often... I shouldn't have let that happen."

"We all did our part." I closed off the bitter side of my mind. "From what I hear, you've taken over that chore. No more take-out for Phil?"

Renee made a face. "It's so bad for you, even the 'good' stuff. Phil just had to adjust. I wanted healthy. Farm grown vegetables, things to saute and simmer. I made a sprout garnish the other day!"

"That sounds, um... great..."

"It was terrible," she laughed. "But it looked _very _nice."

This was the Mom I had known. She was bright and happy, goodhearted, fun loving... I definitely wanted to talk more about some of the things she mentioned, but they could wait until after I settled in a little. When Phil got home. ... we'd go from there.

My phone buzzed. 'Party at midnight if you can get away.'

'Making dinner with Mom tonight. Want to hang tomorrow?'

'Of course we're hanging tomorrow. Let me know when, I'll come get you.'

"Was that Edward?" Renee asked curiously.

"Just a text from Rose," I replied.

She nodded absently. "We'll do Thanksgiving tomorrow then, if that's okay with you?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Cook tonight, eat tomorrow. Edward will be here the day after, I know you're looking forward to meeting him. It'll spare him the awkwardness of meeting everyone and having to sit down to such a serious dinner..."

"I thought you might like to avoid that."

It was stunning, looking into the fridge and seeing so much food. There were pasta salads covered with saran wrap, small containers of yogurt with granola. The turkey took up most of the bottom shelf, but Mom had already made both mashed and sweet potatoes. They had soda, milk, orange juice, Phil's beer buried toward the back of the first shelf.

"Hm," she mused, standing beside me. "Salad can wait until tomorrow. Want to make pie?"

"I love pie. What kinds were you going to make?"

"Pumpkin, apple, and peach," Renee said matter-of-factually. "We're going to cheat with the pumpkin, though. I bought the pumpkin puree, canned."

"That's how we always made it, right?" I felt my stomach grumble. "With homemade whipped cream?"

She kissed my cheek. "Yup. You get out the ingredients, I'll put the mixer together."

Renee lugged the box out from one of the cabinets. I smiled, getting a bag of apples from the fridge. Cinnamon and sugar, the pie crust came out of the freezer to defrost. This was nice. Cooking was something that helped me zone out. Making dinner with Charlie was a comfortable routine. No real effort required, and lots of good bonding time in between. So long as Mom didn't change into Old-Renee when Phil came home... this would be a good vacation.

**Authors End Note:  
** There's more, no worries. I didn't want to write Thanksgiving dinner. Especially not when Thanksgiving in Forks will be so much more interesting. I got more of Bella's past down. She's evading emotion when it comes to Renee, but... Phil hasn't come into the picture yet. Easy to repress now, maybe not so much later. ^_^. Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving!  
**Authors End Note 2:  
** I haven't written much for Switches. I'm low on the sadomasochism scale right now. Without real-life application, I wane when it comes to writing about it. I've updated my blog, though, if you want a dose of s/m. SoulReaper616(dot)blogspot(dot)com. Thanks to anyone who comments/checks it out. =).

**Authors End Note 2:  
Itlnbrt-  
**Yup! I'm back. =). This chapter took a while, mostly because I was bored by what I wanted to write. Mundane details only go so far, you know? Haha. So, aside from going into how they plan on cooking... good to end it there. Thank goodness.  
**Svollgraf-  
**Real life has gotten a little better, yeah. It's not great, but not to the point where I'm shutting myself away writing things that don't go anywhere. Yeesh. Thanks for supporting HB! Hope you liked Rose, =D. She's going to develop more in the next chapter or so.  
**MariaLorenzen-  
**Haha, don't be too paranoid. It's all going to be fun, no worries. ^_^  
**1dreamkeeper-  
**Thanks!  
**PBJilly-  
**I've missed you too! I haven't given up on Switches. I've been writing scenes for it, but no continuation of chapters. Bella's pretty safe for now. There were too many characters that needed to be introduced. I didn't want to skimp on their intro's. Lol. Rose and Emmett got a pretty good one. Their details came into focus. Renee seems better, which I liked. Phil hasn't entered yet, but he will. And Jamie's gone. Good so far. It's nice to know that the lemons are different. Thanks for that!  
**AngelofRosesCullen-  
**I'm aallivvee! And want to watch 'Van Helsing.' Lol.  
**Tiffanyashm-  
**Thanks!  
**Vtweetymccn-  
**Edward used the pillowcase to clean up after sex, haha. Edward's always paranoid, =P!  
**ClumsyLamb-  
**Thanks very much. ^_^  
**Michicullensky-  
**Thank you!  
**Cina's-  
**Phil never physically abused Bella, no. I'd hate for him to be in jail, too. He doesn't seem like someone who would take incarceration well. (Despite the contacts he might meet... but that would be a different story. haha). Thanks for your review!  
**BurchGirl-  
**Lol! Thank you! The story's swiftly moving along now. Another few chapters and I'll be able to mark this Completed. O.O  
**Jbquinn-  
**Thanks for reviewing!  
**Fliberty-  
**'Hey' to you! I like the relationship that developed between Charlie and Edward, too. Most adults in this story respect Edward though they don't always support his decision. He's a man who wasn't ever a boy, and that makes social interaction awkward sometimes. Haha. Fun to write though!  
**o  
**Foreshadowing in the story seems to be on par. Lol. Fighting training was fun writing, too. Finding new ways to write lemons has become difficult. What else is there to do? I'll figure it out, I guess.  
**Acellist-  
**I'm sorry for your Internet problems. That always sucks. =/. Bella's a bunch of different people, I'm realizing. Street-Bella, Parentally Acceptable Bella, Girlfriend-to-Edward Bella. And Edward sees it all, which I like a lot. Thanks for reviewing!  
**LunarSkky-  
**Yay for being caught up! Thanks! Emeett's a pretty normal guy. The first one in this story, I think. At least as a major secondary character. Thank you for rereading, =). I definitely plan on finishing the story, no worries. I'd love to know what you think of Switches. Thank you for the review!  
**Candykain9511-  
**Thanks so much!  
**Kitenn-  
**Thank you. =).  
**Rhonda-  
**The only story I've dropped for the moment is 'Phantasms.' And that's because I dislike the Canon characters. They frustrate me, haha. Too placid. Switches is ongoing, as is HB. ^_^  
**Bellawant2be-  
**Thanks!  
**Yagalinus0420-  
**A clusterfuck in the making, yes. 'happy smile.' Bella's not going to be living in Phoenix, no worries about that. I don't want her to relocate, and no one else in the story does either. Not sure about her Mom yet, or Phil, I'll figure that out in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you next chapter! **  
**


	48. More

**Chapter 48-  
More**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
Bella and Edward's hotel room:**  
http:/www(dot)flickr(dot)com/photos/kimpton-boutique-hotels/2562748977/  
- I was browsing through hotel suites, looking for a room that matched the one in my head. This didn't, but the bed was exactly what I wanted. It might be better than what I imagined. My eyebrow rose, it's a 'wow' room.  
**Bella's Lingerie:  
**http:/image(dot)dhgate(dot)com/albu_203414475_00/1(dot)0x0(dot)jpg  
**Authors Note 3:  
**I also have to add- This story is fiction. No matter how detailed I chose to be, it's fictional. I can bend the rules and make rules of my own because it's a story.

**Playlist**  
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942  
**More**- Usher**  
Breakdown- **Seether  
**BPOV:**  
**Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This: **Marilyn Manson cover  
**Strawberry Gashes- **Jack Off Jill  
**  
Edward's Point of View**

I barely remembered school. The day passed with me ducking into the bathroom or storage closets to take calls from airlines. Aside from reprimanding me for not making the yearbook meetings, Alice had given me space. The distraction had been welcome. She gave me something else to think about other than takeoff and landing times, suggested flights with layovers that made me want to climb the walls. No matter which airline I called, they all said the same thing. There was a storm headed our way and delays were to be expected. Heavy downpour meant delayed flights while snow caused cancellations. Both were going to hit us, hard. I had stopped checking the Internet for flights. They disappeared faster than I liked seeing. When all of the major airline sites stopped showing trips leaving on Tuesday, I knew I'd be fucked if I didn't work quickly. The rain would become ice, mounds of snow would pile up... I had seen Forks in the wintertime. Fuck! I threw my phone onto the bed. A few seconds later it rang. Of course it did. An unknown number, I hoped for good news.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"That's me."

"I'm calling on behalf of-"

I let him drone on while I found a pen and paper. Whether they were JetBlue, Southwest Airlines, Delta, Continental, American Airlines... I didn't care so long as they got me to Phoenix on Wednesday.

"There are three options left based on the parameters you saved on our site. There's one flight flying into Las Vegas, direct. Another into Phoenix with a three hour layover in-"

"How far is Las Vegas from Phoenix, driving?"

"... about five hours, Sir."

"Five hours," I repeated. "Are the other options any quicker?"

"One second please," I was put on hold. A few seconds later, "Hello, Mr. Cullen?"

"Still here."

"Based on distance and travel time, the layover from our third flight would make the first two better choices-"

"What are the takeoff and landing times?"

I wrote them down. The direct flight took off around noon and landed at six. The second would leave Wednesday around two in the afternoon, there was a three hour layover and then another two and a half hour flight to Phoenix. The third, I didn't need to hear. It was an overnight flight, landing on Thursday morning.

"How much is the direct flight to Las Vegas?"

"Seven hundred and thirty-three dollars."

I laughed. Then I laughed again. "You're kidding."

"No, Sir."

"And that's _after_ you transferred the two hundred from the flight I booked that sold out?"

"... yes, that is correct."

"There's nothing cheaper?"

"The direct flight leaves Tuesday at noon. The second leaves Wednesday for a total of five hundred and thirty dollars. And the third-"

"I'm going to take the direct flight. There's _no _better deal you can offer?"

"Unfortunately not. The flight leaves in less than twenty-four hours, and-"

"Of course. You can book that for me over the phone? I'll have a guaranteed seat on that plane tomorrow?"

"Yes, Mr. Cullen."

"Fine. Thank you for your help."

"Will that be American Express, Visa-"

"Visa."

Jesus Christ! Even booking last minute... I gave him the rest of my information in a state of shock. Fuck it, I decided as I read the verification number on the back of my card. This flight would get me there tomorrow. I hung up, going to check my email for verification. Leaving at noon, I'd be off the plane and on my way by six-thirty. It was five hours to Glendale... I'd make it there in two and a half with the way I drove. Possibly two depending on how many cops I saw patrolling the highways. Fuck layovers, I'd get there sooner from Las Vegas. With the storm hitting early Wednesday, Bella would be back by the time I'd be able to takeoff.

Seven hundred dollars. I laughed my way through a shower. Those money-grubbing bastards. They were taking advantage of the weather reports. A day ago, that same flight had been three hundred. The things that could happen in a day...

"Edward?" Alice peeped her head into my room. "Jasper and I are going to watch a movie. Want to join?"

"Which one?"

"Kick-Ass."

"I'm down." It was a super hero film, a dark one if I remembered right. I still felt too tense to smoke. My flight was set, I definitely had a seat. There was no need for the anxiety to remain. Maybe the movie would help me unwind?

"Did you get the ticket stuff sorted out?"

"Yup. Do you mind driving me to the airport tomorrow instead of going to lunch?"

"No problem," she smiled. "So long as you're nicer to people in school tomorrow."

"I'll try."

Alice laughed. "You don't try. You succeed."

"Yeah, well," I ran a hand through my hair, "I almost failed this time."

"But you didn't," she pointed out. "You always find a way."

"Almost always," I followed her into the living room. "What a pain in the _ass._"

Jasper moved over on the couch to make room for me.

"Beer?" I asked him.

"Mom and Dad won't be home 'til nine," Alice informed him.

"Sure," he agreed. "Thanks, man."

Alice started the movie when I got back. I had a soda for her, some white cheddar popcorn for all of us to share. It wasn't really my type of movie. I could appreciate the butterfly knife tricks, but... the movie was about kids. About halfway through, my phone rang. I didn't feel bad answering. Alice and Jasper were preoccupied with one another. His hand had been on her thigh. Then she perched on the couch bolster, half on his lap. Soon she had sprawled across his lap, and she had wrapped herself in a blanket. It wasn't fooling anyone, but I could ignore covert groping.

"What's up?" I kept my voice down. "How are you, babe?"

"I'm good, actually. What're you up to?"

"Watching a movie while Alice and Jasper make-out. You?"

"Well... I just rented a hotel room. Don't freak-"

I was up and off the couch, heading to my room. "What happened?"

"... out about it," she finished.

"Did something happen with Phil?"

"I got the room because Mom made arrangements for you to stay with a friend instead of with us. This way, we'll have some alone time while you're here. And I'll have a place to sleep if the couch isn't comfortable enough."

"Oh. Um," I laughed, trying to smooth over my over-reaction, "... How was talking to her? Phil? Everything go okay?"

"It did. Mom's doing really well. I was surprised. As for Phil, he came home, made a sandwich, and then he went to take a shower."

"He didn't say anything to you?"

"Only 'hello' and 'how have you been?' Polite conversation only."

"Cool. And, just so you know... I got a flight that leaves tomorrow. I should be there around eleven at night."

"That's crazy!" She sounded excited, "How did you pull that off?"

"I called companies directly."

"What airline? I'll meet you at the airport."

"Yeah, er-"

"Actually, I'll probably meet you there with Rose and Emmett. Unless Mom lets me borrow her-"

"I'm renting a car, anyway," I gently interrupted. "Give me an address, it'll be easier."

"Are you sure? I'd feel bad, not meeting you after you've landed."

"Meet me at the hotel. Save time, babe. I'll GPS it, text the address over."

"Okay. I'll make sure to get here around ten. Rose can help me make the room less hotel-like. More personal."

"Whatever you want to do..." I had no idea what that would entail.

"You're in your room now?" she asked.

"Yup."

"What are you doing while you talk to me?"

"I'm thinking about smoking. You?"

"About to smoke a cigarette. It's a smoking room, no worries."

"I wasn't. It would have been a smoking room either way."

Bella laughed quietly. "That was sexy."

"You think so, huh?"

"You're using the skull pipe?"

"Of course."

"Nice. You'll get to smoke a blunt with me, then. I thought about you earlier, when I was rolling one. They come out much better when you do it."

"Are you high now, Bella?"

"Yup," I heard her smile. "Rose gave me the rest of the blunt. Just smoked up. Are you high, Edward? And have you taken off your shirt yet?"

I quickly shed my shirt. "Yes, babe. I'm shirtless."

"Comfortable?"

"Yes. You?"

"Very. You're going to like these sheets." She took a drag of her cigarette, relaxing into normal conversation.

While we talked, I felt my body accept the high. There was nothing to do other than pack. My homework had been done in school, I had a ride for tomorrow.

"Your nipple ring is going to set off security," she said suddenly.

"They won't care," I replied. "I've flown without them stopping me before."

"Cool. Have you packed yet?"

"I'm going to put you on speaker phone for that. D'you mind?"

"Why would I mind?"

"I'd call you back if you were going to hang with Rose."

"Nope. She and Emmett are here. They're keeping things 'fresh.'"

"And you're with them?" I asked, wondering how open-minded Bella was. She wouldn't be calm if they were near her, would she?

"They have a room of their own. We're going to spend the night, like old times. Rose is going to leave Em and come hang with me when he falls asleep."

"What floor are you on?"

"The fourth. I hate staying on the first floor, and the second makes me paranoid. The third was non-smoking, and I was okay with this one. Room 424."

Bella had things under control there.

Everything I needed would fit in my duffel bag. Shirts, shoes, jeans, a nice pair of pants, boxers, undershirts. A small can of Axe, my electric razor- I didn't want to meet Renee with a beard. What could I bring that would second as a weapon? Three bulky silver rings, two chains that I could attach to my pants. Brass knuckles were illegal. I couldn't risk sneaking knives through security. Fuck. I'd pick one up in Vegas, on my way to Glendale. Problem solved. A small pack of razor blades in case the ones in my shaver were dull. Aside from adding a few books, I was pretty much done.

I talked with Bella until I heard Rose knock on her door. The pot I smoked had made me tired. Exhausting damn day. And morning classes to get through before our dash to the airport. Fuck it, I let all of the tension go. Bella and I would be back here Friday, preferably in my bed before the night was out. I'd talk to Carlisle and Esme in the morning. I wasn't going to sneak my suitcase past them. That felt like a shitty thing to do. They knew I was going to Arizona, but they didn't want me to miss more than two days of school. So long as Tuesday didn't count, Bella and I would both be back Friday.

Was it Friday yet? I bunched the pillow comfortably underneath my head and turned the light off. Less than twenty-four hours and I'd be there...

_The phone I kept for Alice rang shrilly in the darkness. An unknown number. My bed was smaller. The room was familiar enough. I had been with this family for five months now. Five months of peace that had undertones. Dread had coiled in my stomach, growing worse each day. The bad feeling that had followed me around... this was why. I hadn't been sleeping, waiting for something to happen..._

_ "Are you okay?" I answered. _

_ Her voice was clear in the silence. "I don't think so, no. I'm going to get away from this family. Can I meet you at Penn Station?"_

_ I took deep breaths, trying to stay calm. "Can you talk?"_

_ "Two minutes."_

_ "Are you in immediate danger?"_

_ "No." _

_ "Are you at the same address?"_

_ "Yes." _

_ "I'll be there in a day. Is there a payphone near your school?"_

_ "No! Don't come here. I have the money you gave me..." _

_ "I'm already on my way. Booked a ticket online," I lied. "Stay there if you can. If not, find a safe hotel and call me from the room." _

_ "I don't want you to get into trouble, Edward."_

_ "Then stay safe and wait for me."_

_ "I've got to go. I don't-"_

_ "Call me from a payphone, soon as you can." _

_ "Love you." _

_ "I love you, too, Alice. I'm coming for you. Don't worry."_

_ The line disconnected. My dark side roared, scratching deep into my insides. My fingers felt numb as I closed the phone. How could I have let her go with them? What the fuck was going on in Florida? Where had Alice been calling from, and why the sense of urgency? Come morning, there would be time for me to get answers. As of now, I needed to find a way to Florida.  
'What about Foster Family 4?'  
What about them, I asked the inner voice.  
'Are you just going to waltz out the door? They'll alert social services, maybe the cops.'  
So, I'd book a ticket for when I was supposed to be in school. I knew how to use the subway systems. JFK Airport wasn't far. But I couldn't use the family's computer. It would leave a trail. Fuck. Was it too late for me to get back out? Eight at night. Trying was better than any other option. I shrugged into my leather jacket, forcing fear and indecision aside. Act first, think on the way. I took a deep breath and grabbed my book-bag. _

_ I had prepared for this. Alice was my sister, and doing the 'better thing' by letting her go... I didn't intend to let them cut communication between us, too. I bought an untraceable phone and had Alice memorize the number. If she were ever in any danger, I didn't care if it were five, ten, or even twenty years in the future- she knew I'd have the phone with me. I hadn't expected she would need to call so soon. Jobs were slim around here. I was low on cash- worry made me start shaking inside. _

_ "Edward? Where are you going? It's-"_

_ "I left both of my textbooks at Amanda's house," I lied quickly. "Can't finish my homework without them. I'm going to run out and get them real quick-"_

_ Tom, Guardian 4, glanced over at me from the couch. "It can't wait 'til tomorrow?"_

_ "Not really. Amanda offered to study with me. Alex's sister, you know? I was kind of, er, hoping to get some... quiet studying time with her." It would work. I needed this part of the plan to go smoothly. With all of the bonding exercises Tom had tried with me, I had a feeling my approach would work. _

_ "Be back by ten," he relented. "No heavy studying, do you hear me?"_

_ I matched his amused laughter. "Thanks. I'll make... curfew."_

_ "Have anything to say to your mother?" Tom prompted._

_ My face felt frozen. Had that been Tom or Masen in my head? I blinked at Andrea, fighting my way through the haze that had taken over. There was no time for this bullshit! "Thanks for letting me go out."_

_ "Edward," she sighed. "We're really trying here..."_

_ "I know. Thanks, ... ... Mom. Gotta go, be back by ten." Jesus. Fine. That would keep them happy until I left tomorrow morning. This situation wasn't working out. Tom and Andrea needed a 'Good Ol' American Son.' One who would smile in pictures, go to Bible camp while exceeding in a sport of some kind. That wasn't me. I had __family, and nothing would keep me from getting to her. _

_ I flipped through my Contacts list. Mandy. _

_ "Hello, sexy," she answered. _

_ "Hey. I need a favor."_

_ "Like, that depends. Do I need to be wearing clothes while I do you this favor?" _

_ I walked around the block, heading away from her house. The library was only four blocks away. "Sexy. I can't meet up with you tonight, though. I've got some jobs to do. If Tom or Andrea calls your house- I'm studying with you, okay?"_

_ "Yeah, but if something happens to you or something-" _

_ "It won't. I want some extra cash to get you a present, that's all." I needed her to stop talking. _

_ "A present?" she sounded excited. "For what?"_

_ Shit. What did she care? One block away... "For how good you're going to fuck me once I get this shit done."_

_ "Oh," she giggled. "Okay. You're here studying. Got it."_

_ "I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"_

_ "You'd better." _

_ "Yeah. Later, pretty girl," I hung up. Alibi in effect, I had an hour and a half to book a ticket. Curbing the adrenaline racing through my body, I climbed the library stairs. The computers were easy enough to locate. Their Internet was really fucking slow, though. Jesus Christ! Five hundred dollars for a plane ticket? I had eight hundred on me. I didn't have to do any calculations. I would get there, but I'd be fucked two days in. I didn't have any connections in Florida. _

_ The 7-11 sign blinked at me. In the midst of my panic, a very rational voice rose in the back of my mind. _'She doesn't need to be your problem... Alice isn't your real sister. You could save the cash and-'

_ "I need to put money on a card," I told the attendant. "Can you do transactions here without a limit?"_

_ "For this kind of card?" The cashier took my loadable, pre-pay card. I had registered one for moments like these. No one knew about it. The card wasn't tied to any bank account. They worked the way my cellphones did. Off the radar. "I can only put a thousand on it."_

_ "I only need six."_

_ "Don't we all," the guy chuckled. "There's a five dollar fee, guy, just so you know." _

_ "That won't be a problem."_

_ With that done, it was back to the library. I was much calmer this time around. In my head, all of that had taken a lot longer to do. Fifteen minutes had gone by. I spent a little more time searching. If I booked the expensive ticket, I'd need to find a job or two to do. My lies had a way of coming true. Punishment for lying in the first place. I'd had 'Don't lie,' beat into me. Masen had won again. He kept looking for ways to damn me from beyond the grave. It would have been easier if I hadn't cared about Alice. I did, though. Loved her, even. And if that meant that I'd be in Florida by this time tomorrow, doing whatever it took to get her away from those people... so be it. _

_ And then I saw a ticket for three hundred, direct. Two tickets left. It departed from JFK at eleven in the morning and arrived at two in the afternoon. I would keep my promise to Alice, with enough money left over to get us both out of there. Whether we went by train, bus... we wouldn't be able to fly. I could keep us hidden for a while. If Alice didn't call by the time my plane took off, I'd be there when her school let out. I would find her. _

_ Leaving the library, I felt better and worse at the same time. It was a strange emotion. There were too many unknowns. I could get to school and sneak away, no problem. Getting to the airport, even, wouldn't be too difficult. Boarding the plane? I couldn't use my fake I.D. The only two times I had gotten onto a plane... there were Social Services people with me. Fuck. They had let me book the flight... it was beyond my control. I'd find out at the airport. _

_ Mandy was calling me. Shit. "Is there a problem?"_

_ "Nope. Andrea called to see how things were going."_

_ "Were you believable?"_

_ She pouted loud enough for me to hear. "Don't be a jerk when I'm doing you a favor."_

_ "... were you? It's kind of an important question."_

_ "Yes," she sighed. "I'm not dumb, Edward."_

_ "Of course not," I lied easily. "I'm unwinding, that's all. I called in a favor instead of finding a job. I've got some free time. Want to do one more thing for me?"_

_ "If you apologize for being so mean."_

_ I almost missed Leila. She had been upfront and honest when it counted. And she had paid me for what I would have done for free. Truly mutually beneficial sex, in more than one way. It had been my stupidity that __mistook convenience for love. There weren't many women like her. Chicks like Mandy, on the other hand... there were plenty. _

_ "Get out two textbooks I can borrow. Then get undressed. I'll be there in five." _

_ She giggled, excited. "I'll leave the side-door open."_

_ Maybe the ticket had come so easily because I managed to make the lie truth? I hung up, sighing as I went into the 7-11 again. She would be expecting a present of some kind. A box of chocolate would have to be enough. I needed my money for Alice. _

_ Part of me felt like screaming. This was ridiculous. Had I really just booked a flight to Florida? I was leaving tomorrow. Now that the decision had been made, I considered the consequences. Social services would be after me. Once I took Alice away, the police would be looking for us. They would call it 'kidnapping.' Shit. All we had to do was leave the state. Once we were across state lines... I'd find people to help us hide. _

I woke, gasping for air. The panic crawled through my stomach and made my face feel numb. I should have known. My dreams were always worse when I went to sleep, stressed. I felt more tired than when I had fallen asleep. It was seven in the morning already? Yes, and I had a flight to catch. I found energy and stumbled my way into the shower. No wonder i had dreamed about Alice and Florida. The situations were similar. Flight-booking, last minute online, traveling without any weapons, not knowing what I was flying into. I was better prepared this time. There wasn't much money couldn't buy. I was amazed they let me onto the plane, alone and thirteen years old. Maybe the ticket woman let me by because I flirted with her? Security might have assumed I was with the woman I charmed on the metal-detector line. Who knew? This time, I was definitely old enough to walk right through, no worries. It was damn Thanksgiving dinner with Bella's mom. With any hope, we would be able to leave without having committed any felonies.

Meeting Alice in the kitchen, I pulled her into a hug. The dream faded back into memory. We were both Seniors in high-school now. With Carlisle and Esme as our parents, the years blended together... which was unusual, yet good. They brought calm instead of the chaos I seemed to attract.

"I sat with you for part of the night," she said. "I knew you wouldn't sleep well. You always have bad dreams when you feel a situation's beyond your control."

Yeah, that about summed it up. "Thank you, Alice."

She smiled at the warmth in my tone. "You're welcome, brother mine. Eat up, you've got a busy day ahead of you."

"I need to find Carlisle and Esme before we leave."

"Yup. I told them that."

"Are they waiting for me?"

"In the office. They're working on something, but they told me to have you go in when you're done with breakfast."

I grabbed a bagel. "Wish me luck."

**Bella's Point of View**

Rose and I got to Victoria's party as it was just starting. It was an Open-door party. Anyone who knew Victoria, personally, was welcome to join provided they brought alcohol with them. I only drank a little. Being high was one thing, but I didn't feel comfortable being drunk in this crowd. Some fast driving on Rosalie's part made up for the half-hour I needed to persuade Renee to let me out again so soon. It was awkward with Phil barricading himself in the bedroom. Mom would look at the closed door and glare at the television until she calmed down. A few minutes later, she was looking at the door again. It was the perfect window of opportunity. She wouldn't start a fight with him my first night back. Once I left, I knew she would confront him. Hearing Vicky confirm what I'd heard about Jamie, I felt myself relax even more. If he were back in town, Victoria would definitely get a call.

"Billy," someone said near me. "I'm lookin' to score some shit. Are you carrying?"

It took me a second to realize I was the one being addressed. My name was Bill, not Billy. "Am I- no. Sorry. I'm just visiting, I don't have anything on me."

"That's a damn shame," he sighed. I touched his fist with mine when he offered. "You had the best prices. You didn't fuck people over like some of these new guys."

"Keep my rep. going," I grinned. Billy was close enough. "Thanks for being loyal."

The money itch was back. I had been asked the same question three other times. Barely an hour had gone by. Two hundred dollars stood in this room... but I wasn't going to ask Rose for a dealer. I wouldn't. Breaking a promise to myself never ended well.

"Yo, Bill."

"I don't have anything," I sighed, trying not to sound impatient. "You need to find someone else to supply what you want."

"Or maybe _you_ need someone to supply what everyone's been askin' you for." Randall, one of the main guys I called when I needed to restock. I had met him through Victoria. Of course he would be making an appearance. I should have known. He was a friend, I reminded myself, not just a dealer.

"How've you been?" I smiled at him. "You look wealthier than when I last saw you."

He laughed. "Noticed that, did you? I see your wallet looks a little thin. Or is that b'cause you're carrying hundred dollar bills?"

"Maybe," I heard myself say. "What are you carrying?"

"Mhm, I thought so. Step over to the side with me and we'll see if we have business."

There were four customers in the room. Private party, open-door as it was. Victoria's was safe, in a closed part of the neighborhood. We weren't going to be raided. Edward would have done the same thing. He had done the same thing, albeit in different ways. This wasn't risky, it was just profit.

Dark skinned, Randall's knuckles were scarred from past fights. He had been shot in the leg once, and another time through his left shoulder. I knew he'd done time for Possession and Assault, but having only been caught twice, he called it part of the learning process. The nonchalant attitude most of these people had about being arrested, I was willing to do my time if I were caught. That didn't mean I'd let myself get careless, where catching me would be easy.

I kept my back to a corner so the room was visible from all angles. Randall leaned casually against the wall, facing me. He was taller, more muscled, I would have been intimidated had I not known him. Our friendship had formed because he respected the way I 'carried myself.' Whatever that meant, I respected him for not trying to cheat me out of money. He wouldn't short me by skimming some off the top, and I wouldn't offend him by selling too low or high. The price would have gone up when he heard how much I profited, and I liked having earned his trust.

"What're you lookin' to sell? A quarter? Half?"

"Pre-bagged?"

"For you, sure. I'll give you my pre-bagged shit." He smiled when I discreetly slid some bills out of my jacket pocket. There was nothing in my wallet I wouldn't mind losing. I held out my hand and he shook it, taking the cash with him. He scratched his head, looking up to see how much I'd given him.

"That covers it, and a little extra for the consideration."

"I've always liked you, Bill." He pulled me into a hug and slid the weed into the pocket that held my money. "I threw in a little extra. That's for you, understand? Don't be sellin' my good shit to people who won't appreciate it."

"I'll take a toke for you. Thanks for finding me."

"Baby girl, if you liked black men... I'd do more than 'find you.'"

I laughed, knowing he was joking. Men like him flirted as they breathed, open to finding opportunity no matter how slim. Our banter was fun, there was never anything serious to it. Thanks to Randall's opportunism, I doubled what I had spent by the time Vicky's party ended. The money itch thrummed under my skin. If I took advantage of Randall being here now, I could sell the rest before I left Arizona... no, I mentally smacked myself. Walking around with pot was dangerous enough. Law enforcement didn't fuck around when it came to marijuana. I could raise the price a little because of the risk. Some buyers raised their prices enough to cover bail if they were caught. I wasn't that greedy, nor did I let my client base grow to the point where I was noticed.

Feeling happy with my productivity, the itch for more was subdued now that the party had ended. That had been enough risk for one trip. What I spent in Glendale didn't matter. I wouldn't have to tap into my bank account. So long as I didn't go crazy, I would have money to deposit.

"You wanted to book a hotel room, right?" Rose asked, smiling and tipsy. "I want to book a hotel room. Emmett, let's do that tonight."

"Why a hotel?" he started the Jeep. "We've got my place."

"It keeps things fresh," Rose replied. "Besides, then I can go and girl talk with Bella while you sleep."

"What makes you think I'm going to fall asleep?"

"Because we're stopping at my liquor spot on the way. I want you to have your chance to drink, babe." She faced me again, "Em won't drink and then drive. He's like you, vehicle-safe."

"Thank you, Emmett," I smiled at him in the rear-view mirror.

"I like my baby," he said. "Gotta keep her safe."

Booking the room for a few nights hadn't been difficult. Rose had kept my fake I.D's for me. I wanted to be safe, and leaving a trail for Jamie to find made me nervous. It would take a while before my anxiety waned. Nothing brought people back like the holidays. Hopefully the guys in suits that took him away had reunited him with his family. There was no need for him to come back. Still, at least for tonight, I was glad that Rose and Emmett were two doors down. Far enough for them to hear if shit went down, but not close enough for me to hear them going at it. I'd give it two hours before Rose code-knocked at my door.

Until then, I knew Edward would still be up. Serious conversation would wait until he was here. There was no point in adding to his stress level when it was already so high. I'd tell him about the profit I'd earned, too. That was a conversation better had face-to-face. He might be initially angry, but practicality would win out. Safe profit was the best kind.

**o . o . o**

Rose dropped me off at home in the morning. The cooking part was fun. Thanksgiving dinner had gone well. Even I flinched at my sarcasm. Renee and Phil yelling at one another smoothed over any awkwardness I felt, sitting at the table alone. He had come home late. An hour late, to be precise. For Thanksgiving Dinner, after he promised to be on time. And she had seen the way he looked at me, as though I weren't welcome in her house. Yes, her house. It was her job and income that had secured their lease. I smiled, listening to her rant at him. Go, Mom. It was about time she take back some of her power. She had given so much away, and for a guy that was content to rely on her to solve his problems. I couldn't stand watching it, but I kept silent because she seemed happy. Now, she wasn't happy. And when Mom wasn't happy, no one was. I happened to be safe because she thought I helped her see the truth. So, I sat back in my chair and tried to keep my expression neutral. Renee slammed the bedroom door, following Phil through the kitchen. Was she going to throw him out? Did I care if he saw the glee in my eyes?

He stomped through the kitchen, grumbling under his breath, 'After working hard all day, I don't need this shit.'

'Working hard?' Renee laughed loudly. 'Sitting on the bench, chewing your disgusting tobacco. Yes, really hard.'

The door slammed as his answer and Renee paced around the living room.

"Tonight's good for a Girl's Night," she decided. "I'm going to have some friends over. You want a glass of wine, Bella?"

"Um-"

"A Girl's Night, it's exactly what we need. You'll be able to meet all of my friends, they're just dying to see you."

"How many friends are coming over, Mom?"

"Two or three," she said, already picking up the phone. "It's not Thanksgiving without company, right? Phil seems to have better things to do. I know he won't be back tonight. So, it'll be just us girls, having Thanksgiving dinner."

"Er- okay." I saw her grow more agitated at the silence that settled. How to be helpful? The old Bella crept forward and took over before I could stop her. " Um... want me to put our plates in the fridge? I'll put out three more place settings and... we can start the meal all over."

Sane Mom wasn't really sane to begin with. Renee overcompensated with distractions whenever she felt emotionally vulnerable. With her friends here, she would get herself back under control. And after they had a few glasses of wine... I'd be able to sneak out. It was six now, I wanted to claw the walls. Five hours and Edward would be here. Fuck, if only I could speed up time. This dinner was going to be agonizing. I had no interest in meeting Renee's friends. Glad as I was that she had them to support her, and happy as I would be to listen as Mom ranted about Phil... I had been there and done that, more times than I wanted to remember. Only instead of Phil, she had ranted about my Dad.

"That sounds great, sweetie." She paused and looked 'normal' for a moment. "Thank you for placating me."

_Anytime, Mom._ No, that wasn't a good answer. "Do you want me to be bad?" I laughed, "I can be really annoying and make Phil move out."

"Bella!" Renee chuckled instead of scolding me as she once would have. "Don't do anything like that. I can handle Phil on my own."

So she was planning to 'handle' Phil? "I know you can, Mom. It's your house, right? You make the rules."

"And they're not even impossible rules!" she continued her earlier rant. "Be home for Thanksgiving dinner with Bella. It's important to me that we try to sit down together as a family."

I tried not to wince at the word family. "I'm sorry he's a jerk."

"Don't be sorry. Just let him wait until he gets home... he's going to talk to me whether he likes it or not. We're going to solve these problems tonight. Procrastination only leads to a higher degree of stress. That's not good."

"Nope," I replied, putting three fresh plates onto the table. "Harboring stress is never good. You could take'im."

Renee laughed, calling her third friend. "Thanks."

Dinner with them was better than I thought it would be. Her friends were truly friendly. She could see through fakery now, it seemed. I mentally congratulated her. It was good that she was surrounding herself with people who genuinely cared about her. They made me laugh, telling me some of the things they had been up to. Renee had found women to shop with her. I relaxed, knowing we wouldn't have to bond by shopping together.

Jamie was gone, Edward would be in Arizona tomorrow, Mom was no longer frenzied over Phil. They were only on their second glass of wine when Mom and I served the pie. Seven-thirty. I tried not to squirm in my chair. There were things to do, I wanted to get ready.

"Mom?" I asked, loading the dishwasher after pie.

"Yeah, honey?" she kissed my cheek. "Thank you for being so supportive."

"I love you," I replied honestly. "And I hated when you let Phil get away with things. I'm glad you're turning things around."

Renee was like me. A little alcohol went a long way. She wasn't drunk, just tipsy enough to tell me things she forgot, sober. Now was not the time for a real Mom-daughter conversation. Now was the time for me to make my escape.

"Ren! We're going to set up the TV for Nip/Tuck, alright?"

"Sure! Bella and I will be right there." She turned back to me, "Have you watched that show at all? So dark, it's so twisted. I think you'd like it."

I laughed. "I've seen most of it, yeah. It is a really good show."

"The color and lighting... very nicely done," the artist in her came out.

"Agreed. Um, Mom? I kind of want to ask you- I know it's Thanksgiving night and all. And that we're having, er, Girl's Night... but I was hoping you'd let me hang with Rosalie after-"

"A Girl's Night of your own," she said, interrupting me. "That sounds like a good idea. You're going back to hang with Rose?"

"So long as it's okay with you." I studied her, making sure she wasn't hurt by the idea.

"Oh, his eyes," I heard one of the women say. "Pause it, pause it! Ren and Bella aren't in here yet!"

"It is," Renee replied. "Go have fun, daughter dear. Don't do anything too bad, and don't get into trouble."

"You're okay?"

She sighed. "Yes, just sorry that the dinner didn't go better."

"Everything was delicious. The company was great, too. I like... interesting holidays."

"Interesting," she hugged me. "Call me if you're going to be staying over Rose's tonight."

"Of course."

"Good," Mom let me go. "I won't hold you up any longer. Tell Rose I say hi."

I relayed the message, and told Rose I was ready to hang.

'I knew it,' she wrote back. 'I won fifty dollars from Emmett. He thought you wouldn't be out for another half hour.'

'Have you been here the whole time?' I lifted the top of my suitcase and took Rosalie's cloth shopping bag out. It held an outfit to wear for Edward, a nice pair of shoes, some perfume, a book, and snacks for us to eat.

'No. Got here a few minutes ago. You almost ready? C'mon, I'm bored.'

I laughed, heading to the front door. "I'll call you later, Mom. I'm out."

She leaned over the couch so that I could see her wave. "Keep it tame, Bella."

Yup. No parties tonight. It would be me and Edward, alone in our hotel room. Safe, definitely naked, I had my phone on loud in case he arrived early.

"Where to?" Rose asked when I climbed into the Jeep.

"Anywhere that sells air-freshener, candles, and some rolling paper."

"I've got paper for you," she started the engine. "We can stop somewhere closer to Em's. It'll be cheaper around there."

I zoned out, watching traffic pass by as we left Glendale. The desert was calming. Maddening if I were staying indefinitely. As a visitor, I could appreciate it's beauty. And I did enjoy being warm. My leather jacket was a little stifling. I felt bad for people back home, dealing with the Washington storm. It snowed there like nowhere I had ever seen. Passing through Glendale, moving toward Scottsdale. A flash of blonde caught my attention. Long, blonde hair. He was tall enough to be- I automatically hunched down in the seat, my heart pounding in my throat. Had that been Jamie? He looked both ways before crossing the street. No, that hadn't been him.

"Random guy," Rose said. "I saw him when we pulled up to the light."

"Thanks for lookin' out."

"Comes with the territory," she shrugged. "We're paranoid, but we stay alive."

"Are you glad for the break? With most of your crew on vacation or in Vegas, have you been relaxing?"

"Partying, you mean. Yes. Now that business is on hold," Rose sighed, "what else is there to do?"

"I wonder." She wasn't happy with staying in, reading the night away. If we weren't watching movies or talking about something serious, she liked to keep on the move. Emmett had seemed very life intense, too, I noticed.

"Might as well stop-" Rose paused, fifteen minutes into the trip. She drove through our old drugstore parking lot instead of parking. "I dropped my lipstick. Fuck. Mind searching for it? I don't want to fuck up Emmett's car."

Rosalie and her damn habit of putting makeup on while she drove. I nearly wrenched my shoulder out of place, reaching underneath her seat. When she took a right, heading onto another highway, I felt the lipstick roll into my hand.

"Put it away," I said. "Focus on the road. You look fine."

"Don't worry so much," she replied, not needing to look at herself in the mirror. I envied that talent of hers.

"Why didn't we stop at the store?"

"Because I can smell the pot on your clothes. Your Mom might be fooled by perfume, but cops won't be. You need to change before we go back out."

"... I haven't smoked yet today, Rose."

"Maybe it's me then," she laughed. "I did. I'll stop at one of the places closer to your hotel. Unless you want me to turn around?"

"You're on the highway now. Don't bother going back."

Rose was high, that explained a lot. All of the drug-stores carried the same thing. I got vanilla scented air-freshener and three different kinds of candles. Some eyeshadow to match what I planned to wear. I wasn't sure what type of mood Edward would be in. The room looked pretty good once I was done. I had borrowed three of Rosalie's scarves. One was light blue, another purple, and the third was yellow. They matched the candles I had bought. I liked the patterns they made on the wall. The lampshades were high enough above the light bulbs. I was more worried about one of us setting a fire. She would be back for us in the morning. I flipped through the television stations, finally sticking with 'Boardwalk Empire' on HBO. Great series. I stopped chain-smoking around ten, realizing how smoky the room had become. It took three rounds of air-freshener and opening two windows before I was satisfied with the way it smelled. Edward wouldn't be here for another couple of hours, at least. I paced around aimlessly, not finding anything to clean.

I liked the room a lot. It was cozy, but not claustrophobic. The bed was incredible. There were two stage-like curtains held back with satin ribbons. If I untied the ribbons, we would have a 'bedroom' with the curtains acting as a wall. The light was soft and blue, a nice contrast to the night sky. There was a large plush couch on the other side of the curtains. A bathroom to the right, I hadn't bothered to book a room that came with a kitchen.

The bed was still made from when the maid came this morning. There were new towels in the bathroom, and they left the extras I asked for in the note I left. I had gotten small bottles of shampoo and conditioner, body wash to use instead of the hotel brand kind. I jumped when my phone went off... twenty minutes later? It was Edward, but he should have still been on the plane...

"Hello?" I asked, confused.

"I'm going to knock in a second. Don't be worried."

"Knock? On what?"

"I'm in the elevator of your hotel," he said. "I got here a little sooner than expected."

"Oh," I realized what that meant. Good thing I had gotten here an hour early. "You won't need to knock. Are you off the elevator yet?"

I didn't bother waiting for an answer. Edward was walking down the hall, a black duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. He wore his leather jacket, black boots, and comfortable looking jeans. Fuck, he looked impossibly good. If I had thought to pack a robe... I impatiently waited for him to get through the door. He came into the room and threw his bag into the corner. I collided into him, not stepping back fast enough. Edward kept the momentum going until I felt my back slide against the full-length mirror hanging on the wall.

"You look incredible," he said into my hair. "The room looks great. Fuck, I missed you."

I rested my head back on the smooth glass. Edward looked tired. Less so, now that I had distracted him. "How did you get here so fast? My flight was direct and it took about six hours. Yours was... what?"

"Direct to Las Vegas," he admitted.

I felt my eyebrows raise. "You drove here from Vegas?"

"Yeah. It really wasn't that bad."

"... ... You drove here from Vegas in three hours?"

"I drove really fast," he crooked-smiled.

"There weren't any flights into PHX?" Of course not, I mentally smacked myself. Edward had flown into Vegas because he wanted to spend five... three hours in a car, enjoying the scenery.

"None that I wanted to risk taking."

I struggled to find words as adrenaline fought for control. "Wow. I don't know what to say-"

"Talk later," he suggested, pressing my back harder against the mirror. "We'll be able to concentrate better."

"Okay." I wrapped my arms around his neck. He smelled so good, I loved sliding my hands underneath his heavy jacket. It slipped past his shoulders and I caught it one-handed. I arched my back to throw it over the back of a chair. Edward took advantage of my position, undoing the ribbon at my back. He threw the wispy fabric onto the entry table. I trapped him against the wall and pressed my hips against his. Pulling at the bottom of his shirt, he smiled and helped me remove it. I moved my tongue over his nipple piercing, sucking and licking until he groaned. Then I switched to his other side, my nails scratching lightly over his defined abs.

Edward spun me around so that I was against the wall instead of the mirror. He changed his mind, I felt his strength gathering again. His hands were hard on my hips as he walked us toward the bed. I writhed against him, wanting more. One of his legs tangled with mine. He went still, his right hand going to my neck. I leaned against him and closed my eyes.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

I exhaled calm and smiled near his shoulder. "Calm. Safe. You?"

"In control again."

"And relaxed?"

"Getting there. Any second now..." His hand curled in my hair. He tilted my head up for his and I opened my mouth for him. His tongue slid over my bottom lip, suggesting things he'd like to do. I moved my hips, wanting him inside of me. To my surprise, he took hold of my hair harder. I couldn't move against him anymore. He let me breathe when his hand eased its pressure on my throat. I spread my legs when his thigh pushed them apart. For a second I thought he would bend me over in front of him.

I felt cold and hot, frenzied and calm. Edward's energy felt solid, I latched onto that and followed his lead. He bit into the side of my neck and pushed self-control that much further away. Instinct made me muffle my gasp against his shoulder. His skin was so warm... I felt his flesh gather between my teeth before I could stop myself. Instead of going still as I had, he exploded in a flurry of motion. He moved me over to the couch. I braced my hands on his chest while I knelt high on the cushions. He undid his pants and lowered the zipper. I leaned against him, loving the way he wrapped his arm around my back.

"You won't fall," he promised me.

I put my hands behind me, my knuckles pressed to his stomach. He kissed me again, slower this time. I didn't notice his other arm curling over my stomach until I couldn't get away. Propping his foot on the couch cushion, he slid his leg between mine. I closed my eyes, trusting him. My knees weren't on the couch anymore. My chest rubbed over his, I grabbed his arm with both of my hands. There was nothing under the purple skirt I wore. Edward's jeans were rough, but the denim didn't hurt me. It felt good, better when he moved closer. I could feel him, hard and pushing against my thigh. He tilted my hips down and ground himself backward, then forward until the friction made me moan. I rested my head on his shoulder and put my arms around his neck.

He raised my skirt, lowered his zipper, and then pulled my right leg around his waist. Edward put his foot down so he stood flat on the floor. I felt him slide into me, and I drowned in pleasure when he raised my hips, slamming into me roughly, languidly. Regaining control, indeed. All I had to do was hold on while he decided how fast, how deep, whether he wanted me to arch my back or curl in around him. When he lost his grip, I slid back onto the couch and got to my knees again. I gripped the back of the sofa and looked at him over my shoulder. In two seconds he was inside of me again. I laughed at how good it felt.

He hit my g-spot every time he thrust his hips forward. My nails clawed over the upholstery, I clenched down around him and threw my head back. Fuck, I had missed him. I could be myself around Edward. And this part of me screamed how much I wanted him, driving my body back so that he slid deeper than I could ever remember feeling. He pulled me back into him, starting a rhythm that was quick and hard. It sent me over, gasping as I immediately came back to reality.

Edward pulled my upper body flush against his. He kissed me and took me back under. This hazy place of desire, where pleasure and anticipation made everything else fade. I wrapped his arms around me and circled my hips against his. Untangling myself from around him, I took his hand and led him over to the mattress, inviting him to join me. He kicked off his boots, shedding the rest of his clothes while he watched me waiting for him. Kneeling in front of me, he put my ankles on either side of his neck. The predatory look in his eyes made me bite my lip. Orgasm had been quick and intense the first time. My body was ready to receive what it wanted. He breathed harder as I took him inside of me again, tight and warm around the head and shaft of his cock.

I didn't look away from him. His eyes were blue-green and full of energy. I loved how hard his fingers felt, moving from my ankles down to my inner thighs. His hand moved between my legs. I raised my hips, bearing down on him. His thumb circled, stroking over my clit until I twisted on the mattress. I didn't want to get away from the pleasure. If only I could take more... think around what Edward was doing. I cried out, freezing. The pleasure was so strong, I felt paralyzed by it. He met my eyes again, smiling his dark, satisfied smile. Edward's hips slammed into mine. Every muscle in his body went taut as he went higher, then off the charts. He pushed me higher on the bed and let me put my legs around his waist. Leaning on his arms, he bent over me until I breathed him in, smiling when he bit at my lips.

I felt his breathing come faster. He wasn't kissing me anymore, though his mouth was pressed to mine. I took over, moving down over his jaw, down to his neck. His pulse pounded against my tongue. He pulled out of me and I made the muscles in my stomach hard. Edward thrust twice, spreading the warm wetness low on my hip. I had long since accepted his version of safety. That he used a condom or withdrew didn't seem to bother him. I kissed him again before he turned his head into my shoulder. The tension that had made his shoulders tight, his eyes wild... I smoothed my hands over his back, enjoying the weight of his body. He groaned happily, moving to my right.

"Welcome to Arizona," I laughed as he went to get a washcloth from the bathroom.

"You're not pissed that I didn't tell you I'd be flying into Las Vegas?"

"No..." I wasn't upset. Surprised, slightly awed, but... how would I have been mad? "There weren't any other flights, huh. Did you find a good deal?"

"Er, the airline was very helpful..." he cleared his throat. "Don't worry about the details. My mind's still full of them."

"The ticket cost a bunch, didn't it."

Edward laughed suddenly. "You know, there was a guy checking departure times in the Washington airport? He couldn't find his gate on the board. His ticket was straight into PHX. First fucking class. I offered to pay the difference and add a little for gambling when he hit Sin City. I almost damn talked him into it. Then he heard his flight was boarding... it all got fucked from there. Renting a car was easy enough, though."

Evasive tactics for the win. I let it slide, knowing price didn't really matter. Edward didn't care, and he would have gotten here no matter how much it cost. "You've been okay?"

"I'm usually okay." He glanced around the room, his eyebrow raising a little. "Speaking of expensive... this is a _really_ nice room. Is that champagne over there?"

"Yeah, it is. Um... How do you feel about safe profit?" I held my breath, waiting to launch into the Truth part of our evening.

He glanced over at me, his eyes sharper. "What does 'safe profit' mean to you?"

"Where the money comes easy, cleanly, and all but falls into your lap. The situation is completely secure. And... you look around at all of the profit that can be made. How do you not take advantage of the opportunity?"

"Yeah, okay," he admitted, grudgingly. "I've been there before. What about it?"

"I profited yesterday at Victoria's house party."

"... How?"

"I sold some pot. In less than two hours, might I add. I knew all of the guys that bought. They found me, not the other way around. I told you, the opportunity was more than I could resist. And the money all but flew at me. I love the way that feels," I kissed him hard. "It was so very easy. ... Are you angry?"

"Nope," he replied.

"No? It kinda sounds like you are."

"I'm not angry," he said. "I'm just letting go of all the images... so many things could have gone wrong. I was warned about Arizona and their pot laws. And you're selling it right under their noses..."

"Sold it," I refuted, "and the cops were far, far away."

"You know I trust your judgment."

"I know that."

"And that I know you wouldn't take careless risks."

"Same as I trust for you," I nodded.

"How much did you make?" he asked, pulling me down against him.

I whispered the amount in his ear, laughing when he exhaled sharply. There was hunger in his eyes, though it faded once he saw I noticed. "If I had you with me when Alice and I were on the run," he chuckled, "we'd have lived like kings. Think you'll be selling any more?"

"Do you want me to?" I asked, curious about the rise in his energy.

"Not particularly."

"I hadn't planned to... It's just tempting, knowing I could triple what I have now."

"Who am I to stop you?" he asked after a minute. "If I'm with you and you want the help, I'm good at being lookout. I've covered transactions before."

"Of course you have. You 'covered transactions' with guns, didn't you."

"You didn't?"

"It's not that serious here."

"Thank fuck for that," Edward snorted. "I didn't think so, with the way this area looks. Where the fuck _is _the police station? I don't think I passed one on the whole drive."

"Far," I said. "We don't really worry about them here. This isn't a huge town. There's more crime closer to Phoenix, not so much that you hear about from here."

He nodded, relaxing again. "Remind me to book a ticket home tomorrow?"

"... okay."

"I couldn't worry about round-trip. If I got a return ticket with the one I booked, I'd fly out of Vegas," he laughed. "I'm not making that drive again if I can help it."

"Sorry it stressed you so much..."

"It didn't. I've been all amped up, I'm not sure why... You helped with that," he kissed the side of my head. And then he laughed abruptly. "Four airlines told me no flights would go out until Thursday. Ha! Uninformed sons of bitches! It's motherfucking _Tuesday_."

I laughed at the triumph in his tone, closing my eyes as his strength rolled through me. If I waited until tomorrow to tell him about Jamie... I put my leg over Edward's and curled in against his chest. I didn't want to wait. If Rose slipped and said something, I would have to rush through a CliffsNotes version to fill Edward in. He put his arm around my shoulder and passed me the blunt. I inhaled slowly, trying to find a way to start.

"What are you thinking about?" he squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. "You look so serious. What's up, babe?"

"Want to hear a story?"

"What kind of story?" His eyes narrowed the slightest bit.

"A twisted one with a good ending."

"Sure..."

"You comfortable?" I asked. "I"m not sure how long this story's going to be."

"I'm fine." He took another quick hit. "I'll do my best not to interrupt."

I gathered my resolve and found warmth in how calm he managed to remain. Fuck, I was nervous. Jamie made me even more nervous. I breathed past the lump of repressed fear and began.

"Enter girl. She's sixteen, angry at... well, everything," I saw Edward's lips twitch. "Time jump her finding a crew to when she started making friends. One of those friends was a not-so-nice boy. The girl didn't know that at the time, but she wasn't blind with attraction for very long. On a bad night, she ignored her instincts and allowed herself to be alone with this boy." I shook my head when his eyes iced over. He held himself back from actually growling, but the darkness emanating from him... "Nothing happened between us. He didn't... force himself on me or anything. I didn't know he had alcohol before we met up. He wanted me, but not the way... I didn't trust him. I'll leave it at that. There wasn't anything about him that I trusted, it just took me longer to realize than it should have."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No..."

"But?"

"He would stalk me around, threaten me... There were three guys that he kept with him, and they liked trying to scare me. I held my own, Edward."

"Did you have him taken care of?"

"He's gone," I rushed to the end. "Rosalie told me that Suits took him away in the serious, black SUV's... you know the ones I mean. She's got people watching for him. And she had people watching when I wasn't here, just because she wants me to be safe. I never went anywhere alone, Rose made sure I had trustworthy guys with me when she couldn't be."

"He stalked you to the point that Rose has people watching for him when you're not here?"

That's not what I had meant, but... I let him see the answer on my face. If I said 'no,' I'd be lying. "He's gone," I repeated.

"He's out of the state," Edward said. "That's not gone. I could track him down. Personally. He thinks he knows how to stalk someone? He's seen _nothing_. He won't see me coming, but he'll sure as fuck see me leaving. The last fucking thing- What's his name?"

"Edward-"

"No? That's alright. It doesn't matter-"

"If you'd-"

"He scared you," Edward looked into my eyes, "and he's still out there."

"There was something wrong with him. I don't think he could help his behavior. Now that he's not here anymore, I don't want to go looking for him. I don't want you to go looking for him, either. Why hunt trouble?"

"I thought you didn't like leaving loose-ends?"

"... I don't, but-"

"That's a huge threat you're letting go."

"Yes, but if I let you go after him... what if you don't come back? What if you come back with the police following? What if you're both caught? What happens if he follows you back here and appears out of nowhere... He's good at it. Trust me."

"If I find him? He won't be in any condition to follow anyone anymore."

"I told you the truth," I said. "Whatever you do... Could I really stop you? If you think for a minute... I mean, if he comes back while we're here- go at him. I'll be helping. That's not a request. Since he's gone and somewhere we probably won't ever go... let him stay gone."

"Tell me his name. If you tell me his name... I want to find him, that's all. Get a location. I won't go after him if he's on a different side of the country."

"From Washington," I wanted to be sure. "You won't tell me names of the women I hate in your past... That's a double-standard, Edward Cullen."

"I'll give you Leila for..." he prompted.

"Jamie. That was his name. Jamie Laurent." I waited. Edward didn't do anything other than nod. "... who was Leila?"

"One of the women you hate in my past."

"Which one?"

Edward smiled slowly. "Tell me what he looks like and I'll let you know what story of mine she's from."

"He's tall as you with long, blonde hair. Brown eyes. Strong, his eyes are always dark and shifty. He smells like cigars. Who was Leila?"

"The woman that paid me for sex," he said. "You don't need to find her. That was a long time ago."

"If we ever come across her... point her out for me?"

"You'd do the same for Stalker, right?"

"Of course."

"You have no idea how many times that name's come back to haunt me," Edward sighed. "It was the last name of Leila's guy. I saved Alice from Florida James. Then it was J.J, the pimp I told you about. He was Jason James. Now there's your Jamie... I assume that's short for James?"

"I've never heard anyone call him James. It was always Jamie."

Edward took a deep breath. "I don't like leaving threats out there."

"Neither do I, but... why track him down? If he's back with his family, I'm pretty sure that's all he wanted, for his parents to reconcile and for them to be reunited."

"And if he's on vacation, not taken like Rosalie assumes?"

"We'll be long gone before he gets back. Rose will let me know if anyone sees him."

"And I'll tell you where he is if I can locate him. I _will_ find him, but... if I'm not going myself, it could take a little while."

"We've got Rose and what's left of her crew, here. Jake's gang has our back in Forks. I don't see Jamie traipsing around the forest. He hated having to work for what he wanted."

"Would he be capable of hurting you?" Edward asked suddenly. "Or did he just like scaring you?"

"He only tried three times, toward the beginning. I made him bleed all three times. After that he stuck to words and showing up when I was alone. He wasn't the type to break in and wait for me in my house, y'know?"

"Nothing happened, you said? Between you and him, I mean. Not that I... It would just be-"

"Nothing," I said.

"When did he actually start scaring you?"

"After I told him to stop shadowing me... and he went out of his way to be more creepy about it. He liked making me uncomfortable. I'm paranoid, you know? And when I look over my shoulder and see... what I look over my should _for,_ not really expecting to see... that shakes me. The threat of violence, and then not knowing if I'd get away. I hated that."

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me to go after him?"

"You want me to talk about these things, right? I can't be honest if I'm going to hold back all of what I felt..."

"That's the last time I'll ask," he promised.

"If it's something you can't live with," I paused, "... then I'm coming with you. You're going to try and locate him, that's fine. I don't mind knowing where he is. If that's not enough for you... you won't be alone, going to prove your point."

Edward looked like he was going to say something.

"- If I wake up to a message, of any kind, from you... and I find out that you've gone, without telling me... We would be done, Edward."

"I can agree," he said at last. "Fine."

The silence stretched. "So... you're still not mad?"

"Is there anything else I should know about before I smoke again?"

"You're not high anymore?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrow.

"Dumb question," I smirked. "I can't think of anything else, no."

"Snow and stalkers... Have I mentioned how much I hate the holidays?"

"The holidays have nothing to do with it," I protested. "I'm trouble-prone. I warned you."

"Yeah, so am I, but... you're compassionate, Bella. That's the dangerous part. I wouldn't want you to change. You know that. Sometimes," he cracked his neck, "... I don't know what the right thing to do is."

"I can't let you endanger yourself just to keep me safe. Not if there are other options. We've been through this before. To me, that's the wrong way. If it endangers you, it's the wrong plan."

"I know," Edward groaned. "I keep hoping you'll give in and... let me take _care_ of shit."

"By trying to find Jamie, you _are_ taking care of things. He isn't a threat once we know he's thousands of miles away. How much is that going to cost? That can't be cheap-"

"Favors. That's why I collect favors from useful people. All I need to do is put the word out. They're connected enough to get an answer for me. Hence why it might take some time. It's not going to be a Top-Priority thing. Unless I go there, I won't be able to convince them to work faster."

"I don't want to go anywhere for a while. Once we get back to Washington, I want it to be summer before we think of traveling again."

"What about Christmas? Won't your Mom want you to come back here for-"

"Too bad," I said, not needing to think about it. "Now that she's doing better, maybe I can get her to Forks. Judging by the fight they had, she won't bring Phil."

"'Too bad?' Edward laughed, "I like it."

"Yup. Too bad. There's been enough stress for you this holiday season. From home on out, it's all about relaxation and... normal stuff until we graduate."

"I give it 'til January."

"Happy New Year," I straddled his waist. "I'm down with not worrying about anything for the rest of this year."

"We're drinking when we get home," he said soundly. "I'm going to take a few days where... I just don't give a _fuck_."

"Sounds good," I replied, feeling him grow hard underneath me. "I love your... enthusiasm."

"If you weren't you," he laughed, letting control go. "... I can't _think!_ Fuck.

"So let me do the thinking this time. Relax, babe." I rested my hands on his chest. He watched me move over him. I took him inside of me slowly, loving the way his eyelashes fluttered shut when pleasure took over. Rough and hard wasn't the only way I liked sex. Soft, sweet, bringing him higher as slow as I could, I showed him how much I loved him. How much it meant that he'd do _anything_ to keep me safe. But because I loved him, I needed him to be safe. We had argued about this so many times. The conclusion was always the same. If he was going to do something 'for' me, I needed him to be safe, doing it. God, I shuddered and clenched around him. I couldn't have anything happen to him.

"I- I need you, Edward. If something happens to you because of me..."

"Don't you ever worry about that." He immediately flipped me onto my back. "It would never be 'because of you', remember?"

His eyes were dark with lessons he had learned. All I could do was nod and wrap myself around him again. I hated Jamie for making me feel this vulnerable. But letting Edward see it was okay. He wouldn't hold it over me. I doubted he would ever bring this up again. We would wake up to a new day. I let go of the fear and worry, losing myself in the way he felt. The shadow Jamie cast over Phoenix was gone. Edward was here, and together we were faster, stronger, and more intelligent than Jamie would ever be.

**Authors End Note:  
**Edward's in Phoenix! Thanksgiving's done with and Edward gets to meet Rose and Em in the next chapter!  
**Authors End Note 2:  
Itlnbrt-  
**Thanks so much! I'm glad you like Rosalie and Emmett. ^_^  
**Bearygirl-  
**Hooray! Thank you, =).  
**Yagalinus0420-  
**My Thanksgiving was okay. Time with the family, helping around the house. I'm glad to be home all the same. Lol. I've got an idea of where the next chapter's going to go. Lots of fun planned. Heh heh. Thanks for coming back to review!  
**1Dreamkeeper-  
**Thanks!  
**Lmmatm-  
**I definitely plan on Phil meeting Edward. I'm not sure where it's going to go yet, or what's going to happen. That you're reading from Portugal is pretty awesome. Thanks for sharing!  
**11-30-11:  
**Still anonymous, huh? Lol. I'm glad you came back. =). Life hasn't been too bad. You? Happy late Thanksgiving. Thank you for reviewing!  
**PBJilly-  
**Hahaha, that was funny. I liked your question. It made me blink at the screen. To answer: Um, that's something I... just do. I can't remember not doing it. I'd always assumed everyone does? Lol. People have repetitive behavior patterns. Watch them, you'll know what I mean. How do they react when they're angry? Happy? Excited? Do they lash out or hold everything inside? Do they seek to lose control and self-destruct, or do they know their limits? It all depends on their personality. Thanks for reading the updates, PB. =).  
**MariaLorenzen-  
**Edward's arrived! And Phil, apparently, is living in a world of change. Heh.  
**Fantasy0506-  
**What was wrong, spelling wise, if you remember? Sorry about that, =/.  
There had to be a fluffy chapter. Lol. You'll see why. Thank you for the writing compliments! I like Jacqueline Carey's work a lot. Thanks for checking my blog. It's very s/m-based, yeah. I wasn't sure what you meant when you said: 'I tend not to have a reaction to the content.' Is it because the writing feels too impersonal?  
**Lunar Skky-  
**Yay! Renee is almost normal, better than when Bella lived with her before. Hope you liked Edward's arrival. ^_^. Thanks, Lunar!  
**Vtweetymccn-  
**I wanted him to drive there. That's how I had it in my head. And then I looked up travel time... It didn't make sense. Flying to Vegas had to happen. Lol. There's more coming plot-wise. Three weeks! That's awesome! A Christmas baby, that's pretty cool. I'm both worried and excited for you! Enjoy the lemon until you review again!


	49. Let Me Hear You Scream

**Chapter 49-  
Let Me Hear You Scream  
**

**Authors Note:**  
The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**One away from Chapter 50. Oh my christ. So, I leave you with these pictures because... They're great:

**Edward- Closet Picture:  
**http:/freecodesource(dot)com/myspace-graphics/images_db/965/1271986033robert-blue-button-up(dot)jpg  
**Bella- Driveway Picture  
**https:/lh3(dot)googleusercontent(dot)com/-tWX5fj9abC8/TXsprAYTmTI/AAAAAAAAMcI/BEyBks0y4qg/kristen-stewart(dot)jpg  
**Edward's Rental Car-  
**http:/voiture(dot)de(dot)reve(dot)free(dot)fr/BMW/BMW%20M3%20-%202002%20-%2003(dot)jpg  
- I know it's Rosalie's car in the Series, but... why not?

**Playlist  
**http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942**  
Badass**- Garbage  
**Let Me Hear You Scream- **Ozzy Osbourne**  
Night Is Alive- **Innerpartysystem**  
Never Enough- **Five Finger Death Punch

**Bella's Point of View**

Sunlight was streaming in around the curtains. Drawn as they were, I could feel it was way past early morning. I yawned, wondering what had woken me up. My phone, I realized. It was still vibrating under my pillow.

"H'lo?" I glanced at the screen, "What's up, Rose?"

"I'm bringing breakfast for you and your boy."

"Now? What time is it?"

"Ten-fifteen. I'll be there around eleven."

"Okay," I curled back into the line of Edward's body. "We'll be ready."

"Good. See ya soon."

"Rosalie?" Edward guessed, not opening his eyes.

"Yup. She's bringing food with her."

"Alright," he groaned. "I'll wake up for food."

I waited a few seconds, lolling my head back on his chest so I could look at him. His eyes were still closed and I could feel his breathing even out. I didn't need to move yet. Without having to search very far, I reached over and grabbed my pack of cigarettes from the table. I smoked and listened to Edward's heartbeat as I felt my mind make the changeover from sleep to awareness. He had turned his Ipod off before we fell asleep. I remembered him waking up a few times during the night. The cherry of his cigarette glowed in the dark, lulling me back to sleep. We had half a pack left between us when he had switched the lights out. I counted four left. No wonder he was so tired. I turned onto my stomach and put my arm around his chest.

"Pass that to me for a second?" he asked, surprising me.

I leaned up and held my cigarette out for him. He took it from me, taking a few deep drags. I listened to him breathe in, the smoke curling in his lungs. He exhaled smoke toward the ceiling, above my head. And there was no sign that he was really waking up any time soon.

"How about I wake you after I shower and change?" I suggested.

"I'm good with that plan," he handed me the cigarette and curled around the blanket. "I need five minutes. I'm waking up. It'll happen any second now."

I kissed the side of his neck before getting out of bed. Brushing my teeth always made me feel more awake. I waited for the shower to warm, still amazed that Edward had driven from Vegas. That he had found a flight in the first place. When he put his mind to something, he got it done. Steam poured out of the shower and filled the bathroom. I smiled when he climbed in behind me and closed the door behind him.

"I couldn't sleep, knowing you were in here." He must have been smoking near the window. His chest was unbelievably cold. I yelped and spun around, caught when his arms wound around my back. "Fuck, you're warm..."

The bathroom was full of steam. I had turned the hot water up, twice. Edward adjusted to the temperature without turning it down. After he ducked his head underneath the shower, he let me shampoo his hair. The process took longer than it should have. He refused to raise his head from my shoulder.

"You're going to get soap in your eyes," I warned.

"Not if they stay closed." He groaned and let me step back, "I feel like a sloth. What was in that pot? I need caffeine." Soapy water cascaded down over his shoulders, the firm muscle in his back.

There was never enough time, I sighed inside. "Coffee would be good," I agreed. "You flew to Sin City and then drove here. I was exhausted after flying. You can stay asleep, if you want. I'll go hang with Rose and have you meet her later."

"I'm not that tired," he blinked water out of his eyes.

Following his routine might help with that. His turn to have the shower to himself. I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. "Want me to bring you clothes from outside?"

"Thanks," he said, his face tipped up toward the shower-head. "My bag's near the front door. I don't remember moving it..."

It was still there. After he had thrown it aside, we hadn't gone back toward the living room. My body tingled, remembering the way Edward had joined me on the bed and how long it took to get there.

"Jeans?" I called from the entryway, "T-shirt?"

Boxers and socks and an undershirt, I remembered, reaching into the zippered compartment. I looked through what he had brought. A lot of accessories. I immediately knew why. All of them could double as weapons. Edward went nowhere unprepared.

"There's a blue button-up shirt in there somewhere. You liked the black one I have a lot, right? Blue conveys trust" Edward replied, "Think it'll make a good impression with your Mom?"

"Very much, but... part of the black shirt's appeal was, er, because it makes you look dangerous."

I added his pants chain to the pile, two rings, his belt. When I picked up his bag to move it, my fingers felt something hard and narrow toward the side seam. Getting it to the couch, I unzipped the zipper and reached around inside. There was a strip of Velcro so old I doubted it would stick to anything again. It covered a small zipper. I fit three fingers into the pocket and pulled out a butterfly knife. Dangerous, indeed.

"Good," Edward answered. "I want to leave an impression with Phil, too. Will that outfit do both? Alice suggested it."

"She was right." He had flown with a knife on him? I was impressed with his daring, but I couldn't help worrying about what might have happened. If he had been caught in the airport with a knife... Things wouldn't have gone well for him. I might buy and distribute pot when the opportunity arose, but I wasn't about to hop on a plane with it.

"Thanks, babe," he saw me come back into the bathroom.

"Uh... yeah," I couldn't help staring at him. Of all the things Edward could wear... I loved when he wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. A medium-sized towel, I bit my lip. I liked these better than his. They covered less.

"Rose is going to be waiting outside for awhile," he said, "if you don't stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" I reached blindly for the counter and put his clothes down. "I'm just, um, bringing you stuff to wear."

He glanced past me at the pile I had set on the counter. "Where did that knife come from?"

"It was in your bag."

"I thought I'd lost that _years_ ago. Where was it?"

"You hid one of the pockets with a strip of black Velcro?"

"Shit, that's right," he paused, thinking back. "Yeah... I packed a suit jacket with metal buttons and my belt on top to keep them from finding the knife... fuck, that's right! I can't believe I forgot about it."

"So... it's not bad that I found it?"

"Bad? No, not at all." He held it in the palm of his hand before sliding the latch free with one finger. It twirled, the blade shiny and still sharp. Forward, backward, he made the knife dance while he tested what he remembered. Edward smiled as he closed it again. "The knife I gave you matches it. There was a set of four, but I only wanted the two we have."

"When's the last time you used that bag?"

"Fuck," he snorted. "I've made it through security a lot since then. I kept buying new knives. Saves me one thing I need to do today..."

I smiled, feeling better that he hadn't purposefully packed it. What's done was done, but... I liked knowing that safety meant something to him now. "Where were you going that you needed a knife?"

"Florida, I was flying out of JFK to get Alice. I wasn't sure I'd be able to get what I needed when I was there, so... I brought stuff with me."

"Oh," I replied, not all that surprised. That's why I worried so much about him. When there was something he _needed_ to do... nothing stopped him. Not laws, not right and wrong... It wasn't 'wrong' if it was necessary. 'Right' was accomplishing what he set out to do. I had seen the way he faced obstacles, plowing through them while waiting to accept the consequences later. He and Rosalie were going to bond immediately or hate one another, I felt a little nervous about their meeting. "I know a place if you want to stock up on some other things."

"With this knife on me... do you think I should carry more?"

"Only if it'll make you feel more comfortable."

"I'm good," he reassured me. "It's habit, y'know?"

"Yup," I replied, thinking about Rose's switchblade buried in my pants pocket, "Trust me, I understand."

I would change when I got back to Renee's, I decided. The black jeans were fine, but I looked a little under-dressed in my plain gray t-shirt. Thinking like Alice for a second, I was satisfied in the way we appeared as a couple. Dark blue and light gray, his dark jeans were a good match for mine. We didn't clash, that's all I really cared about. I opened the curtains in the bedroom and looked out over the desert. It was strange, knowing that it would never snow here.

"Can you believe that some people here haven't ever seen snow fall?"

"They might think it's strange that you have." He came and stood in front of the dresser while I pulled my boots on. The light had caught him perfectly. He tipped his head to the side, giving me his subtle, 'I want you,' look.

"I call picture rights," I said. "I was looking through my phone the other day... I don't have any of you."

"You want a picture of me?" he looked uncomfortable. "Wearing this?"

"Yup. Standing right there," I took out my cell. "Do you mind?"

"Whatever you want, babe."

His shirt was wrinkled from the way he had folded it in his bag. He left the first two buttons undone. Edward removed the chain and put his hands into his pockets. Snap. I loved it. It was rare to see Edward so clean-cut. He still managed to look sensual and capable, his eyes light blue and more alert now that he was actually awake. I smiled and saved the picture.

I curled his chain around my hand and brought it over to him. "Thanks," I hugged him.

"Does that mean I get to take a picture of you?"

"Don't you have some? You did something with your phone..."

"I took a video." He crooked-smiled at me and glanced at the ground. "That's different from a picture."

"That's what you were doing?" I felt myself flush with excitement and a small twinge of modesty. "You have a video of me... Of what I was doing for-"

"- For five minutes and thirty-two seconds," he chuckled. "Want me to delete it?"

"No... but I do want to see it sometime."

His eyes grew more intense. "You do?"

"Tonight would be good."

"Oh yeah," he unwrapped the chain from around my hand. "Tonight could be really, really good."

"I'm having barista flashbacks," Rose called, making Edward start. "And I'm drinking your coffee if this door doesn't open in one minute."

"I didn't hear you knock," I called from the bedroom. "Hold on a second."

"Blame my elbow," she said, talking through the door. "I didn't put much effort into it."

"Barista flashbacks?" I asked, letting her in. "When did you serve coffee?"

"For three weeks after you left. It didn't last long. I don't play well with others," she rolled her eyes. "And I don't cover my tattoos for anyone."

"The one on the back of your neck?" I asked, ushering her inside. "How was that a problem?" She had another high on her back, a smaller one on her inner thigh. Rose had outfits that showed them, but she wouldn't have worn them to work.

"We had to keep our hair up," she explained. "I wasn't about to wear a hair net, it became this big thing... fuck them. I'm better at making my own money."

Edward made a sound of assent as he took the iced coffee she handed him. "I wasn't sure what you liked... I've got sugar and stuff if you need it."

"Caffeine is much appreciated," Edward replied, "thanks."

Her eyebrow rose slightly at the way Edward spoke. Not what she was expecting, apparently. "Rosalie," she offered her hand to him. "Nice ink."

"Edward," he smiled. "Good to finally meet you."

"I think so, too," she said, her eyes still narrowed. They were taking stock of one another. Edward was being more subtle about it than Rose. She liked trying to offend people into reacting. It was how she learned boundaries.

"You lead," he said finally, reading the dark curiosity in her eyes. "If you dish it out, be able to take it back."

Rose's lips curled wickedly. "I like that. Sure you mean what you say?"

"Yup."

"Alright," she nodded slowly. "I won't fuck with you. I'm not saying I have your back... yet, but don't look over your shoulder for me. Know what I mean?"

That made Edward laugh again. "Alright, then. Want to shake on it?"

"You bet."

I watched them shake hands and then pound. That had gone well. They were on their way to becoming friends. Less than two minutes had passed. If that time frame continued, they'd be close by the end of today.

"Emm's in the car," Rose said. "Grab the coffee and let's go. I want to get your man high, B."

"Should he bring his bag?" I asked her. "Will his stuff be safe if we leave it?"

"They're going to clean the room, right?" she shrugged. "If it were me, I wouldn't leave my shit here."

Edward slung the bag over his shoulder and opened the door for us. I carried his drink, enjoying the Caramel iced coffee Rose had gotten me. The elevator shuddered with us inside of it. I drew back against Edward's body, not liking the sudden loss of gravity. He put his arm around my shoulders, and I rested my head underneath his. It was amazing how much safer I felt with him.

The warm rush of warm Arizona air was welcome. I breathed it in, enjoying the sun. Washington was amazing, but... it was cold there. I barely needed my leather jacket here. Rosalie snorted as we walked out of the hotel. "Jesus. Who the fuck has money for a car like that around here?"

I glanced over at the black BMW sitting in the parking lot. It looked fast. I didn't know much about cars, but... it was nice.

"It's a rental," Edward replied. "I told the guy I needed fast. This is what he booked for me."

"That's your car," she repeated.

"For the next three days, yes. That's our car."

"Yeah... that can stay parked here. You guys come in the Jeep with us. I don't want to take his parents space in the driveway, y'know?"

Edward kept walking with me, probably not wanting to drive anywhere for a while. Em had completely unzipped the windows. I balanced on the tire, feeling Edward's hand on my ass as I steadied myself before ducking under the car frame.

"Thanks," I looked down at him and raised my eyebrow.

He smiled and moved his hand around to my inner thigh. "Just wanted to be sure you wouldn't fall..."

I smiled at his strength when he scaled the car like he would a fence.

"Smoke as you will," Rosalie lit a Camel. "Watch the ashes, though?"

"No problem," I said. "Mind stopping somewhere so I can get a-" Edward nudged me, showing me a full pack of cigarettes. "- never mind. We've got."

"What time do you guys need to be back?" Rose asked.

"Around three, probably. Four at the latest. Renee's going to be home at five."

"I'm having the guys swing through later if you want Edward to meet them. They're going to smoke me out, catch me up, and head out. You're both welcome to stay if you want to ditch the hotel room."

"Yeah, we'll do our best to swing by. I'm not sure about the hotel. Depends on how the night goes..."

Edward smiled and leaned his head back against the seat-rest.

"Did you bring your Ipod?" I patted the front of his pants to check. Nope. The other side pocket? No to that one, too.

"Lower," he smirked. "A little to the left..."

"Jerk," I raked my nails over his leg. "Where is it?"

"Jacket pocket," he said into my hair.

"Plug this in?" Edward and Emmett hadn't talked very much. Rosalie covered their silence, keeping conversation going with me. We had another half hour of driving...

_"Let me hear you scream..." _I paid attention and heard, _"I'm black and bruised, beat up but still I take the blows. 'Cause all I need is blood and sweat and skin and bones." _

Emmett paused for a second. "Ohhh yeah," he said enthusiastically, turning the volume up.

Rosalie stopped mid-sentence and smiled to herself. "This is his 'amp up' music. He listens to stuff like this before his games."

"It's a good song," Edward replied.

"You play Madden?" Emmett asked. "How about football?"

"I know how... but I have the song more because I like Ozzy's music."

The two guys head-bobbed in silence. Then, "_Let me hear you scream like you want it!" _They smiled at the same time, not looking at one another. Emmett joined the second line, "_Let me hear you yell like you mean it!" _

Edward reached between the seats and glanced over, raising his eyebrow with his hand on the volume dial. "Crank it, man," Em nodded, "This is a _great_ song."

The bass vibrated through the Jeep. I saw Edward relax, his cigarette disappearing into the desert. "_If you gotta go down, go loud, go strong, go proud,go on, go hard or go home." _Pot and auto mechanics had brought him and Jasper together. Music was helping him bond with Emmett. Adrenaline was high, I could feel it curling around me. I knew this song, but only because it was a good school rally song. When Rose dragged me to rallies, they played fight songs for the sports teams. This one had been popular.

Rosalie caught hold of the energy. "_I'll push you up and push you right back in your place. I'll take you down and wipe that smile right off your face." _

Em kept the beat, slamming the side of his hand against the Jeep door. He met her eyes in the rear-view mirror and smiled. "_I'll watch you break, you're mine to take, don't blink- you might just miss it!"_

"_It's all or nothing, nowhere left to run. Are you ready for the last fight?" _I heard Edward singing.

_ "Get ready with the war cry!" _I joined in. "_Let me hear you scream like you want it! Let me hear you yell like you mean it!"_

Thank goodness for Madden and Ozzy. Conversation was much easier between the two of them. Emmett hung with the Jock-crowd. Edward... had a crowd all his own. He started talking about football, I hadn't known he had an interest in sports. I knew he could play football, basketball, hockey, but I didn't know he had followed specific teams. The Jets and Giants for football. New York, I remembered, that made sense. He was a Yankees fan, had been mildly interested in the Rangers. Huh, the things one learned. Rose talked to me about the crew, filling me in on the important events that had gone down. The gang had expanded by two blocks and took over prime, safe for the moment, selling ground. I was impressed. When Em pulled into his driveway, Edward looked at the house as I had. His expression was carefully neutral, though I could see his eyebrows quirk a few times.

"Nice place," he cleared his throat.

"That's why I'm going Pro," Em stretched, looking at the house. "I want this one day. Cars, a view, livin' large while I'm young enough to enjoy it."

"Fuck yes to that," Edward replied.

"You know? I wouldn't mind being a Coach after I'm too fucked to play. Coach McCarty. It sounds good, right?"

Rose smiled, "Coach Emmett McCarty leads his team to their second Super Bowl win?"

He lifted her down from the Jeep. She wound her legs around his waist and kissed him."You know I'm getting one of those rings, right?"

"_A_ ring," he smirked. "You don't want some huge, bulky dude ring."

"What if I do? If I become head cheerleader for the team you coach?" she asked. "What then?"

He laughed, a low and happy sound. "I'll show you, 'what then.' ... You can wear this until I get you a better one."

I was shocked, watching him put a large, ruby ring onto her right ring finger. Rosalie didn't try to hide the satisfaction in her smile. "It's so big... Who did you have to take down to get this?"

"A lot of people," he paraphrased. "I'll tell you about it later, baby."

"You're a cheerleader now, Rose?" I asked, taking advantage of the lull.

She snorted, laughing to hide her first reaction. "No, but I could learn. I can fight in heels, y'know?" She turned a cartwheel on the driveway and jumped back into Emmett's arms. "What's learning to back flip, flat-footed? I know a trainer and a talent guy that might be able to help me out."

Em kissed her neck, growling like a bear. "That's so sexy, you've no idea."

Edward sat down next to me in the sand. We would be filling Em's apartment with smoke as it was. I'd stave off my need for nicotine outside. We weren't doing anything aside from hanging out. I leaned back on my elbows and savored the warmth rising from the ground.

"I'm calling picture rights," Edward said, pulling out his phone.

"Not now," I protested. "My hair's probably all messed up... we were driving with the top down. I'm in a crappy t-shirt."

"Yup, now," he insisted.

"At least let me fix my makeup- c'mon, Edward. You groomed before I got a picture of you."

"Your makeup's fine. Look at me, Bella?" I did, instinctively glancing away when I saw the camera lens. When I got out the costume Rose was keeping for me, I'd have him take a better one. My hair was tangled, I could feel it when I heard the Snap from his camera. I had put some mascara on, but I hadn't remembered to pack eyeshadow. It was the desert, I shrugged, laying back. I had already impressed Rosalie, Emm seemed to be cool with me. And Edward was mine. I smiled and exhaled smoke toward the sky. His camera clicked again. If Rosalie and Emm weren't talking near the Jeep, I knew he would have been on top of me. I ground my elbows into the gravel and smiled at him. His eyes darkened and he shifted on the ground, bringing one of his knees up.

"What do you think of Arizona?" I asked him, looking for a diversion.

"It's warmer here," he shrugged. "I don't know yet. Nothing's happened."

"That's good, right?"

"Very," he snorted lightly. "What do you think your Mom's going to think? Honestly."

"Think of you?" I clarified. "She's going to like you because I do. My mom is... Rosalie's more judgmental than Renee would ever be. If I'm happy, mom doesn't care about anything else."

"Right..." Edward sounded like he didn't believe me.

"What is there to see that she wouldn't like?"

His eyebrow raised slowly, the one that was pierced. He licked his lip, his tongue sliding over two rings and the stud. Edward ashed his cigarette, the Alice-girl moving with the muscle in his arm. His hand settled back on the sand, the two rings he wore shone brightly, catching the sun.

"Well?" I asked, still waiting.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," he said at last. "I was just curious."

"Em," I called over, "are you parents home?"

"Not at the moment, no... why?"

"Because they want to do what I want to do," Rose smirked. "Meet'cha inside, B? Do the knock because I'm paranoid."

"Sure. Thanks, Rose," I took the last two drags of my cigarette. She waved and followed Emmett up the stairs.

"Code knock?" Edward guessed.

"Yup." They disappeared inside. "Now, back to what we were talking about."

I straddled his waist, my knees digging into soft sand. He leaned back so my hips were perfectly aligned with his. "What were we talking about?"

"Don't be worried about Renee," I remembered. "There's no reason for her not to like you. She'll see you as my boyfriend, that's all. When she used to tell me stories about how she met Dad, she talked about how exciting he was. He had the police tattoo and drove the squad car when they went out. She liked his leather jacket and the fact that he had a badge. That basically says it all, right? She's probably going to want you to meet her friends."

"Your mom's friends," Edward stared at the clouds passing by. Did he still want Renee to like him? "You know I love you, right?"

"I know," I kissed his jaw. "I know, I know you do." I kissed his pulse-point, the hollow over his collarbone. "I'm sorry my family's... difficult."

"It's just your Mom and Charlie, right? And Phil as an annoyance?"

"That's it," I kissed his chest through the V of his shirt. He rubbed his hips over mine when my eyes met his.

"Three people. You deal with the same from me." He cupped my chin with his hand and raised my head. My eyes closed and I breathed him in. His lips were firm, I missed the rough stubble that rubbed my face raw. He kissed me slow and sweetly, not trying to take it any further. "Thanks for the pep-talk, babe."

"No problem," I smiled against his lips. "You know I love the way you look," I sucked at one of his piercings and rolled my tongue over it, "how you taste," I buried my face against his neck. "I don't care if she doesn't like you. We'll leave and I'll show you how much _I_ like you."

"You like me," Edward held a hand over his heart. "I feel so warm inside."

"I know you do," I laughed. "There's no need for sarcasm, y'know."

"Am I meeting your crew later?"

"Rose's crew. If you want to, yes... I'm sure there will be free smoke floating around."

"Are you going to be dealing any?"

"Probably not," I said honestly. "They're bringing it. There won't be any need to buy it."

He rubbed his jaw, looking at the house again. "This place is secure, right?"

"Yeah, Rose is going to assign lookouts. They flip for it. No one wants to be the designated lookout, y'know? But everyone follows the rules. Rosalie can be... severe when her rules aren't followed."

"Cool," he nodded. "Time to head inside?"

"Yeah, I'm sure Rose-"

"Oh my fucking god," Rosalie yelled, leaning out of her bedroom window. "How damn long does it take to smoke a cigarette?"

"Impatient, isn't she?" Edward said, following me to the stairs.

"I think she wants to talk to me about something. Em gave her the ring..."

"Oh." He smiled suddenly, "Compared to Alice when she wants me to know something... Rose is patient."

"Hey," she met us at the door. "E, mind waiting with Em for a second? I want to talk with Bella."

"Sure..." Edward took a left into the living room. "Guess I'm hanging with you, man. Did you mention Madden before?"

Rosalie took hold of my sleeve and all but pulled me into her room. "Fucking finally," she snapped. "I need you to sit down or something."

"Okay..." I sat on her bed, wondering how much caffeine was running through her system. She was more jittery than usual. "What's up, Rose? Just say it. Talk to me."

"I don't want you to freak out," she warned me.

"When has starting that way _ever_ led to the person being calmer?"

"Remember yesterday when I pulled through our old drugstore parking lot?"

"Yes..." I felt worry start to churn in my stomach. "I thought that was weird. You had me get something you dropped-?"

"I didn't drop anything. You found lipstick that I thought I'd lost."

"Yeah, that's going around," I said, remembering Edward's knife. "Why would you have me duck down, unless... ... Rose, _no_."

"Stop right there," she said authoritatively. "Don't think _anything_. Just listen to me."

"Okay," I said, feeling the numbness take over. "I'm calm. Get to the point, please?"

"I'm not sure if I saw Jamie. I was driving pretty fast, I noticed him... thought I noticed him. He didn't look at us. I would have been able to see his face better if he had looked at our car."

"But it was Jamie, right? Not someone you're enemies with?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "That's what I'm telling you. I dropped you off and had Em drive to the hotel. You weren't alone there for more than ten minutes. I drove back to see if I could catch sight of him again. No luck, but I got the guys together and they're searching. I have them looking in Glendale, too, just in case. I have two of them keeping an eye on your mom's place in case he decides to drop by."

"Why didn't I see him? Did I look right at him and-"

"He was wearing a hat. There was a three-second window in which he could have seen us. I made sure he didn't."

"And I found your lipstick..."

"Which is how I know he didn't see you."

I jumped off the bed and knelt low to the floor. What had I been thinking, sitting in front of a window? I closed the curtains and sat cross-legged, my arms resting on Rose's bed. "What's he doing back? Did he come back with his family?"

"There hasn't been any sign of him. You know the way I run things and how I take care of friends. I double-checked to be sure he wasn't around before you came here." Her blue eyes were suddenly brighter. Colder. "Do you believe me?"

"Of course. But that means Jamie drove or flew in yesterday. Maybe the day before, longer, who knows?" I swallowed hard, wondering if Jamie had been devious enough to follow me from the airport. No, he was too cocky. If he had seen me, he would have confronted me on the spot. He couldn't seem to resist taunting me. There was no way for him to have followed Edward.

"Edward should be here for this." I stood, feeling shaky. "Mind repeating everything for him?"

"Yo, Edward!" Rose called loud enough for them to hear. "The last door of the hallway, door on your right."

"Thank you for telling me first," I said.

"Edward knows about Jamie?" she asked quickly. "Shit. I didn't just fuck you over, did I?"

"He knows." I was really glad I'd told him. It had been a situation like that that I feared. It was happening, I mentally pinched myself. There was no way to rewind time. I needed to deal with this better than I was. First step, I stopped crouching low to the floor. It was demeaning. If I started being afraid of Jamie again, the fear would take over and... I wasn't letting that happen again. I stood against the wall and brushed dust off the legs of my pants. Then I calmly sat, my arms folded around me casually as I could manage. This would be fine.

"Okay. Well, good. Fuck me, I thought I'd never get you here," she punched her mattress a few times. "It took you guys _forever_. I wanted to be sure you were somewhere you felt safe. A hotel room with a long drive ahead of you... not the time to tell you Jamie might be back."

"You stayed with Emmett at the hotel again last night?"

"Of course," she said. "With Manny in the car, watching the lot."

The doorknob jiggled and Edward came in, his eyes immediately meeting mine. "What happened?"

I knew that look. It was the expression that came with expecting the worst, and having it happen. Edward knew there was something wrong. He didn't know what, but his instincts were making him wary.

"Bella told me she's talked to you about her stalker, Jamie?" Rosalie started the same way she had with me.

Edward's eyes hardened immediately. "What about him?"

Rose went through what she had told me. I listened, memorizing the details this time. Edward had been rubbing my arms, sitting behind me. I felt him go still when Rosalie mentioned she might have seen Jamie. He asked questions similar to mine, asking more because he didn't know how Rose took care of problems. She impressed him. Her ways of taking action to deal with the problem were what he would have done.

"What do you want me to do?" He kept his hand on my shoulder while he looked out the window. Edward didn't try to hide as I had. If Jamie were there, he wanted him to know that I had someone strong looking out for me.

"You can protect Bella better than I can. Friday you both leave. So long as you both stay off the radar, you know... be with Bella's mom or here... Jamie can search all he wants. And I can do some searching of my own to find out who that guy was, if it was him. It would be better if Emm and I went back to get your car. I've always wanted to drive one," she smiled. "And if Jamie's watching and sees my hair's brown... If he did happen to see me, he'll know I'm not Bella. Maybe that will stop him from actually looking for her. No one knows she's here."

"Fuck," I gasped, wanting to sink through the floor. "Vicky. What about-"

"Taken care of," Rose interrupted. "Victoria hasn't heard from Jamie at all. I talked to her already. You know what I'm like when I want information from someone, not bullshit."

"She told you the truth," I said, not needing to ask.

"She hasn't heard from him. If he contacts her, she _will_ let me know. No one who was there is talking about Bill, Billy, or Bella. They were on our side, anyway. All of them hated Jamie."

"Thank goodness for small favors." I felt my heartbeat return to almost-normal.

"You have this situation under control," Edward said, going to look out the bathroom window. "The only thing we're worried about now is Bella when we're with her? If Jamie's there and your guys don't see him, it's on us for not watching out for him, right?"

"Your boyfriend's quick," Rosalie complimented him. "Blunt, too."

"Then you won't mind if I ask why you're throwing a smoke party here tonight?"

"I'm not throwing a party," she scoffed. "Like I was telling Bella, a hotel room is not the place to break serious news. It's not safe to begin with. I couldn't come out and say, 'Jamie might stalk you. Stay here so my guys can watch our backs while we take turns sleeping.' Now, here, I can."

"Why did you dye your hair?" I asked Rose, knowing she loved how her hair had looked.

"Because I wanted to be prepared. I'm blonde and you're brunette so far as Jamie's concerned. I worried something like this might happen, so I took preventative action. It might not have even been him, you know? The guy had short, blonde hair. But I'm not willing to risk that Jamie hasn't cut his hair since we last saw him. Hopefully our trick will work."

"Our trick?" I heard something in her tone.

"I'm dying your hair black."

"You're not going to cut it?"

"Nope, just dye it. And I won't have to use bleach. I want his eyes to pass over you, not be attracted to red or blonde or punk... He'll be looking for brown."

"Sure," I said.

"I've dyed my hair before. Alice's, too," Edward said. "Unless you want more talking time with Bella, mind if I help her with that?"

"Nope. Go ahead," Rose shrugged. "I want to go over the game-plan with Em. He's not going to mind the security, but I want them to be invisible because of his parents. And I need to make some calls, get our guys to check places Jamie used to go..."

"Need my help with anything else?"

"Can I be blunt?" Rosalie asked him.

"Go for it," Edward replied.

"You'd get in my way. I know what I'm doing." She looked uncomfortable for a second, glancing from me back to Edward. "Sorry, kind-of. You understand what I'm trying to say, don't you?"

"I understand, yes," he replied, respectful yet still willing to do whatever it took to keep me safe. Rose could see that, I knew what it looked like when she decided to like someone. "I won't keep you any longer. I have favors I can call in if you want me to bring some guys of my own."

"No," she decided after a minute. "There's been enough people coming through. Too many strangers. Besides, who's to say your guys don't start shit with my crew? It's too risky. I'll take you up on the offer if my plans don't work."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked the two of them. Going out wasn't an option.

"Stay with Edward," Rose said.  
"Don't be alone," Edward answered at the same time.

"So we can have the bathroom for an hour?" I continued, expecting something like that.

"Sure. Keep it for two. Em and I have one near the living room." She took a deep breath and went over to the doorway. "I know this is fucked-up news, but... so long as everyone plays it safe, Jamie shouldn't be a problem. I have people looking and they have orders from me to take him in. The friends you made have your back, B. You're safe so long as you do your best to be safe."

I took a deep breath when she left and put together everything she had told me.

"Rose has people watching Renee's place," I added in case he didn't know. "We'll be safe there, too."

"She's incredibly efficient," Edward said, still impressed. "She locked everything down-"

"You're not going to go after him, are you?" I asked, unable to wait anymore. "I know you promised that you'd take Jamie out if he came anywhere near me, but- but... that's crazy. I don't want you to go after him. Don't go after him, Edward-"

"Bella," he took my face into his hands. "There's no way to know that _was_ Jamie. I can't hunt someone I've never seen. And tracking someone obviously enough for them to notice... I'm a new guy in town with a flashy car. I might not have attracted anyone's attention coming in, but if I drive around and start asking questions, I'll definitely get his. You know that I like plans-"

"That's the problem. You might not have a plan right _now_, but when you do-"

"I'm following a plan. Rose's plan. I told you, remember? If there's a situation where someone has experience I don't... I trust that Rosalie will do whatever she has to in order to find Jamie. That's enough for me. I won't put you in danger to prove I can keep you safe. If Rose needs me, she knows I'll be there."

"Thank you, Edward." I was able to relax so much more now that I knew Edward wouldn't be in danger. Well, he wasn't in any more danger than I was...

"I need a picture, though. If this guy is a good stalker," he snorted suddenly. "A good stalker. Jesus. I have to know what he looks like."

"I'll find you one," I said. "Jamie wasn't the type to have a Facebook..."

"That would be helpful," Edward kissed my neck.

"You're so calm," I hugged him. "How can you be so calm?"

"I've been in situations like this before. If I get confirmation that you _are_ being stalked, right now or anytime we're here... Rose's plan will change. I'll be more useful. Until then, we'll cover our tracks and go only where we need to go. Your mom's, back here, then the airport." He paused, looking down at me carefully. "What are you going to do if you see him?"

"Beat the shit out of him, or lure him somewhere away from the general public and beat the shit out of him there."

"Same. Our plans are the same, then. Why are _you_ so nervous?"

"I don't know," I laughed suddenly. "Why _am_ I so nervous? He's either going to creepily show himself or he won't. We have a plan no matter what he does."

"If it's him," Edward reminded me.

"Right," I felt much calmer. "Sorry. Sorry for falling apart-"

"Falling apart?" He took hold of my shoulders until I looked at him. "You haven't freaked out once. You've been calmer than me. Quieter, too."

Had I been? Oh. Point for me. Inside, I had screamed once or twice. Once in fear, the last in rage. I embraced the anger and used it to ward off my nervousness. Edward held me, letting me breathe him in- his calm, his confidence. I hated feeling so... not myself. But then, I had hated looking over my shoulder to see Jamie creepily leering at me, too. If I saw him, I was going to charge him. No procrastination, no hesitation, I was going for an instant take-down.

"Is everyone still dressed?" We both heard Rose heading back to the room. It was good to know that the floor creaked. I'd hear anyone coming or going.

"Yeah," Edward got up and opened the door. "What's up?"

"I want to talk to you, E," she pointed at him. "Bella will be safe, getting the bath ready while we talk."

Rosalie handed me some bubble bath, a few bath beads, a brand new loofah, and some body lotion. All of them were mango flavored. "Happy early Christmas. It'll be a better present if you use them now."

"... you want me to take a bath?"

"What else are you going to do?" Rose inquired. "Call your boys around here and tell them what's going down. I've told most of them, but... better to hear it from you. There's not much else anyone can do. Kick back, smoke up. Around four I'll bring you both to Renee's."

"It's barely noon now," Edward agreed with her. "This is the safest place we can be? Money's not an issue. If there's a more secure location, I want us to be there."

"I've got people who will watch your back for as long as you're here. I can't guarantee your safety as well anywhere else."

"You wanted to step outside with me?" Edward said, nodding. "You okay, babe?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Go talk about... whatever she wants to tell you."

"I know you're going to tell her," Rose sighed. "I don't know why I bother, but... fuck it. My way's worked so far."

Edward left the door cracked when he and Rose went out into the hallway. My hands didn't shake when I started running the bath. It's what Rose did whenever she needed to think something through. She found calm while I used anger to keep me calm. Rage was an incredible emotion. It would dwindle down without an outlet, but if I needed it... I was glad to feel it was still there.

The tub was large enough for three people. I would dye my hair in the sink later, I had done it before. Never permanently, I wondered how I would look with black hair. If it looked good enough, I'd wait until my hair grew out before I dyed it back to brown. Think of nothing, I reminded myself. It was safe enough here, and if Jamie came barging into the house... I wasn't worried about which of us would win. It wouldn't be him.

**Edward's Point of View**

"You're not a pussy," Rosalie said bluntly once she heard the water start running.

"Thanks for noticing?" Her statements grated at me, but I knew she didn't mean them in an insulting way. I wasn't used to being one of the soldiers. It's what had made joining the gang so difficult. I worked better on my own. But I knew nothing about Arizona. If it weren't for the GPS in my phone, I would still be lost somewhere in the desert. Rose knew the area like I knew New York. She had people here same I had people there. Now that the situation had moved from Worrisome to Problematic, I didn't know how to be any more productive. Staying with Bella was the best plan. Most importantly, I needed to keep my shit together. Bella had looked afraid, and running on cocky anger wasn't the way to make her feel better. Practicality would. Until then, I was Calm, Accepting Edward.

Rose reached behind her back and pulled out a .22. So much for calm and accepting. Instinct warned me to get it away from her. The strength gathered, I saw myself disarming her before I did it. And I held myself back before my body went into action. Trust had to start somewhere. What was she going to do, shoot me? I took a chance and looked away from it and into her eyes. "What is that for?"

"What do you think?" I watched as she pointed the gun at the ceiling.

"The safety's on, right?"

"Don't insult me," she snapped.

"You are holding a gun."

"Afraid?"

"No, but I don't know you like Bella does."

"I'm loaning it to you," Rosalie replied, "if you want it."

"Then hand it over and stop waving it around."

Rose smiled, a dark, experienced smile. "You've been around guns before. Have you ever had one pointed at you, Edward?"

"Don't," I warned her. "I don't fuck around when it comes to guns. Pull out a knife if you want to threaten me."

"I don't know you, yet I'm willing to let you walk around armed. In my space. Excuse me for wanting to be sure you can handle one."

"I have, I can. I've been nicked before, but I haven't been shot. I can pull the trigger if I pull the weapon," I took a deep breath, happy that my voice wasn't wavering. "I'm definitely not taking a bullet because you want to prove a point. Hand it over or put it away."

"It's loaded. Four shots. Make them count if you need'em." She handed me the gun. I checked because I had to. The safety was off. "It was the best I could do under short notice."

"It''ll do what it's supposed to," I said, getting a feel for the weight and how I knew it would shoot. Memories threatened to break through. It was solid, I could taste the metal in the air. I had held these before for different reasons. I'd never pulled one without knowing I could use it. This was one of the smallest I'd held, but I knew how dangerous it was... how serious this situation truly was. Concealing the gun, I felt it's weight pushing against my back, underneath my belt, and I pulled my shirt down to cover it.

"Wipe it down before you use it," Rose said. "If you need to ditch it somewhere, don't leave prints."

"Don't insult me," I repeated her from earlier.

"You're holding an unregistered gun with my fingerprints all over it. I care about details."

"I'm on serious probation. I really can't be caught with one. If I toss the gun or get caught with it, you won't be connected. I'm wiping it down soon as I get a chance."

"If you're on probation, why would you take it from me? Why risk carrying one?"

"Jamie was more than just a stalker, wasn't he?"

"He could be." She understood. "If Bella hadn't moved, I think he would have been a bigger threat."

"Now that she's back, you don't know what he's going to do."

"I know that Jamie isn't stupid. He's smart enough to hide and stay hidden. And he's smart enough to try for Bella."

"Would he break in to get her?"

"Not if the people inside outnumber him. He cares more about his life than he does about his sick desire for her. She's safe at Renee's, definitely safe here. I know this place inside and out."

"The only time we need to really worry is travel time?"

"I don't put it past him to try and run us off the road. He won't hit us, he's too good for that. Jamie would make it look like an accident, and one that's our fault."

"Do you have a picture of him? Bella said she would get me one, but I'd prefer not to wait..."

"He hated pictures," Rose said. "I'll look, but I really don't think I have any."

"Tall, short or long light blonde hair, dark eyes, arrogant and self-entitled?" I remembered what Bella had told me. "No tattoos and no piercings."

"That's Jamie."

"Thank you, Rosalie."

"Thank you for what you'll do. But just so you know, if Bella's hurt on your watch, I might shoot you myself."

"I love her," I said simply. "You might not know me, but trust me. I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

"She's my only girl friend. Watch her back and I've got yours."

"Yeah, well, while I watch for her, I'll keep an eye out for you, too."

"Hey, E?" Rose asked, heading for the door. "You've got some balls, not flinching near a gun."

"You trust me if you risked pulling it out in front of me."

"Yeah," she grinned. "Don't abuse it."

**o . o . o**

I had told Bella about the gun while I washed her hair. It was the least I could do. Rose had only given me one and I hoped she wouldn't be offended. To my surprise, I hadn't gotten any argument. Bella went quiet and agreed that I should be the one to carry it. That was the first indication I had that something was wrong.

She still smelled like mango, hours later. It helped keep me calm. I couldn't think straight when she was afraid. It bothered me. It really bothered me that I had a weapon capable of killing her stalker, and... I was sitting at Renee's dinner table, answering questions about school. Did I play any sports? Was I in any of the clubs that Bella rejected? What did I do other than homework, getting ink done, and piercing parts of my body? Bella had been right, Renee didn't care about my appearance.

Phil was nowhere to be seen. When Bella left the room with her mother, and then returned to put his plate back in the cabinets, I assumed he wasn't joining us for dinner. I was right. Renee calmed down pretty quickly, I got to see Bella emotionally wrangle her mother back under control. She had done it before, and often. They warmed up food while I washed up in the bathroom.

I wanted to scan the windows every few seconds, but I couldn't look twitchy in front of her mom. The back of my neck prickled. It was based in anxiety, not because I actually felt someone watching us. I knew the difference. Masen had taught me a lot about keeping myself safe. If only I had access to a gun back then... I felt my skin crawl at the thought of using it. I could pull the trigger, but that didn't mean I wanted to. Wanting someone dead was different than trying to kill them. I had been up on a very serious string of felonies because I had been prepared to kill for Alice. Then again, if I'd brought a gun with me... we might have gotten out of there before the cops pulled up. There was no way to go back. Better to have it than be without, no matter what consequences that brought. Bella hated it, I knew she hated that I needed to carry a firearm. There wasn't anything I could do about that either. I had to stop myself from checking the time again. These were things I wanted to talk about with her.

"I got rooked into working a double-shift tomorrow," Renee sighed. Things were winding down. "First hired takes the unwanted shifts."

"I'm sorry," Bella answered. "That sucks."

"I don't want you to think I'm trying to avoid you or-"

"I don't think that. Will you think I'm avoiding you if I say Rose wanted to have a movie marathon night? I'll stay the night with her and see you after work Thursday?"

"That works. Good. Bring Edward with you, we can have a movie night of our own."

"Sure, Mom. Sounds fun."

"I don't want you to leave Friday," Renee sighed. "I'll miss you."

"Come visit me in Forks," Bella countered. "I redecorated my old room. The diner's undergone a makeover..."

"I'll talk it over with your father."

"I know what that means."

"It means... I have to see what Charlie thinks of the idea. Edward?" She used me as a distraction. "Tell me about your parents. What are they like?"

"Come to Forks and you'll see," Bella saved me. "Carlisle and Esme Cullen are very warm, generous people. You'd like them. They both work in the medical field, and Esme spends her free time with interior decoration. Their house is amazing, you have to see it. As an artist, you'll want to paint this house."

"I'll see about taking some vacation time. Maybe after the holidays?"

"Hopefully before."

"Edward, you're so quiet," Renee commented. "We're not excluding him from the conversation, are we?"

"Just now you did," Bella said, laughing.

I took another bite of pumpkin pie, trying to think of something to say. "The food is amazing. Your artwork's better than Bella described..."

"Do you have an interest in art?"

"To a certain degree," I answered her. "Nothing like the education Bella's received. I started by studying, um... urban art."

"Urban art? What is that?"

"Er... street art..."

"Oh! Done with markers or spray-paint! I've seen some of the work that was preserved in New York. It's everywhere, isn't it?"

"Yeah, pretty much. It's a very, um, active place."

"Having the world as your canvas," she smiled. "I like the idea, a lot."

"You're going to paint something tonight, aren't you?" Bella said.

"I've been thinking about it all day," she admitted. "It's in the beginning stages, still."

"Well, on that note, we leave you to enjoy your night." I felt more relieved than I let show when Bella hugged Renee. "Phil will be home soon, right?"

"Are you leaving because of him?"

"Nope. I want you to have some Mom-time before he gets in. You need that sometimes, you know?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Marcus? He has the sofa bed ready for Edward-"

"That's okay. Thanks, Mom. I'll call you later from Rose's to let you know we got there safe."

I shrugged into my jacket. The right side hung lower than the left, I held it out when Renee hugged me. She patted my back as I hoped. "It was very nice meeting you, Edward. Take care of my Bella-girl, alright?"

"You have my word," I smiled, stepping back.

I stepped out onto the porch first. The overhead light went on. I flinched, realizing we could be seen from far away. Bella noticed and stayed in the shadows. I loved her a little more for making this so much easier. She leaned into me as we walked to the Jeep. I listened for footsteps, felt for the familiar prickle on my neck. There was nothing to see, I didn't sense anything. Moving from the darkness into the bright headlights of Emmett's Jeep, we used it as cover.

It wasn't until we locked the doors of Em's place behind us that I was able to breathe. The house was large, but higher than it was wide. There wasn't access to the garage from inside it. The only two doors in the part his parents used were the front door, heavily reinforced, and the patio door, which bolted shut and had a jam to prevent anyone from breaking in. With only one way to enter Emmett's 'apartment,' I had already checked around the windows to be sure the house couldn't be scaled. Unlike Bella's place in Forks, there weren't any trees to climb nearby. Also unlike the house in Forks, the McCarty's had invested in a very nice security system. I approved.

"Good, you're back," Rose said, standing from where she had been sitting on the couch.

Bella leaned against me for a second. "It sounds like you have news."

"Listen before you freak out."

"That's what you said before-"

"Yup. Do what you did then."

Bella walked over to the couch. I followed, already knowing what she was going to say.

"We got word on the drugstore guy. It's Jamie. He was taken to visit his parents. Whatever went down over the past three months... my resources aren't that good. I've no idea why he went away. The important part is knowing he's back, getting his stuff together so he can be transported to California."

"Why California?" Bella asked.

"I don't know. I'm not talking to the guys wearing suits in order to find out. They're either watching him or guarding him. He's staying in a hotel near Vicky's place. If he contacts anyone, it'll be her. I told her Jamie was being watched by undercover cops and that he was charged with something serious. If he calls her, she's going to call me for a safe place to stay. Vic doesn't want cops breaking down her door, she's got a lot they shouldn't find with her."

"Victoria was an ally of Jamie's?" I asked, understanding what she had done.

Rosalie smiled, her eyes ice-blue and hard. "Not anymore."

"That's impressive," I admitted.

"I'm not even done yet." She continued detailing, "I have the hotel Jamie's in being watched. If he goes somewhere, we'll know where he is. I don't want to make any move with the guards or whatever following him around, too. Since they keep him away from you, all we have to do is keep you away from him. Far, far from him. Until Friday."

"You'll let us know when he leaves and where he's going, if you can get that much information?"

"Yes," Rose shook her head at me. "Hopefully tonight. Em and I are going to hang at Vicky's."

"And if Jamie shows up?" Bella asked.

"I'll have your problem taken care of."

Bella took her arm and stared into her eyes. Rose didn't flinch. "What does that mean, Rosalie?"

"It's better if you don't know. I'm not saying anything that could bring me down. Don't bother asking for details."

"Will you be safe?"

"Always," Rosalie said. "I taught you, remember? Stay here, that's all I ask."

"Almost ready, baby?" Em twirled his keys, coming to stand near the door. "If you guys need anything, give me a call. I can get back here in twenty."

"Same," I said. "Text or call if you find problems."

"We'll be back in a few hours." She pulled Bella into a hug, obviously surprising her. "You're my closest friend. Nothing's happening to you here."

"I love you, too, Rose."

She sighed, pretending to be irritated. "I _hate_ when you do that."

"Yeah, I know you know I'd do the same for you."

"Whatever you say," she hid her smile. "Remember to keep it down. The apartment is supposed to be empty when we're not here."

She grabbed her purse, her coat, and then they were gone. Bella and I listened for their car to pull out of the driveway.

"Want to move into the bedroom with me? It'll be more comfortable than staying in the living room."

"Sure," I agreed. "I've seen where Rose has guys stationed. I'm sure there are some I haven't seen. She's good. If he brings backup, she has backup."

"I like knowing Mom's safe, even if we're not there." I followed her into the other room. "Our Christmas present to Rose and Emmett needs to be incredible."

"Yeah, it does." I watched her pull a bag out of the closet. "... How're you doing?"

"Want to help me change the sheets?" she asked, holding an unopened package of them. "I borrowed some from Renee. She had a bunch in the closet."

"Um, sure..." I helped her strip the bed. We would be staying for a few nights, I was glad she had comfortable things around her. I noticed she put a wicked looking switchblade underneath her newly changed pillowcase. Mine went under the mattress. I swabbed and wiped the gun down, putting it underneath a hollowed out tissue box. The shelf built into the bed also held our cigarettes, an ashtray, and an unsmoked blunt. Rosalie had moved her stuff into one of the corners, telling us to make the room our own. The apartment was quiet, all of us were listening for strange sounds.

"How am I doing?" she asked, lying next to me. "I'm... okay. Is that weird?"

"I think it's practical." I ignored the untouched blunt. Bella accepted a cigarette, silently agreeing that she didn't want to get high. I was restricting myself to cigarettes until we were back in Forks.

"Yeah," she sighed. "The storm won't be done until early Thursday morning. There's no point in trying to book an earlier flight home."

"So we'll stay holed up here. There are worse ways to spend time, right?"

All of the windows except for ours were closed and locked. I had locked Rose's door behind us. She taught me their code knock, and she had given us both the security code for their alarm system. We had programmed our numbers into each others speed-dial spots. The night was quiet. There was nothing else we could do tonight. Tomorrow was a new day.

I doubted I'd sleep very well, but I wasn't worried about sleeping just yet. Bella looked from the door to the window. She let me move on top of her so that my shoulders blocked her view of the room. I kissed her until I felt the tension melt from her body. She gasped against my lips and pulled me closer. Her hips rose, pushing into mine. I smiled and bit gently at her neck.

"You miss that, baby?"

"Mmm,"she brushed her cheek against me. "I missed _you." _

I pulled off the long, black skirt she had worn for dinner. The sleeveless, ruffled shirt thing she had on was easy enough to remove. Bella kicked off her boots and wound her legs around my waist. She unbuttoned my shirt, her hands sliding over my arms when she pushed it down my shoulders. My fingers tangled in her hair. I kissed the swell of her breasts, licking and sucking until her nipples hardened under my lips. I felt her nails scrape teasingly across my back. Things in my stomach pulled tight as I waited for the harder flash of pain. She kissed me instead of dragging her nails downward. I groaned against her lips, wanting... The knowledge crashed over me. Clarity was mine for the fraction of a second. I couldn't protect her from everything. She had a stalker after her and there was nothing I could do except... be with her. My mind was too fuzzy, I couldn't break free of the haze that had settled in. There had to be something else... but no, I had gone over every Bad, Stupid, and Ridiculous plan I could think of. None were operable. Goddamnit.

"Do it," I whispered near her shoulder.

I let her manipulate me onto my back. "Do what?" she asked, looking into my eyes. "What do you want me to do, Edward?"

I was hoping she would know, as she usually did. It made me laugh. _This_ was what worried me. This instability. I was the equivalent of an emotional wreck and the inactivity was making me want to snap. Two more days. I needed to get myself together. What the fuck had happened to me? Jamie Laurent was out there, potentially stalking my girl. _Think, goddamn you_, my old side roared. _What are you going to do about it?" _

"About what?"

"What?" I focused on Bella, surprised that she had sat up without me noticing.

"'What are you going to do?' You said it just now."

I was talking to myself out loud again? It wasn't because of PCP this time.

"You asked me, but I never asked you. Are you okay, Edward?"

_'Don't blame me for your erectile dysfunction._' Remembering the way Bella had pushed me back against the door, her eyes a mix of rage and surprise... I laughed and brought my hips up against hers. "I think so. I've no idea. You're safe, though, don't worry about that."

"I don't," she said, tightening her legs around me so I had to lay still. "I'm more worried about you. What are you thinking about?"

"Later," I shook my head. "You don't need to hear this shit now..."

"What were you thinking about?" she asked softly, her eyes narrowing with curiosity.

"Guns." I hadn't been, but... okay. Maybe I had been.

"What about them?"

"I don't like when they're pointed at me." I felt the laughter rise, and it escaped before I could bring it back.

"Are you worried that Jamie's going to try and take a shot if he can't get in?"

It was a really good question. I felt sanity click back into place. Why hadn't I noticed it sliding away? Without a picture, I had no feel for the guy. Logic had over-compensated. I had been paying attention. "There's a police station less than a few miles from here."

"You found one, huh?"

"Yup. It's right up the road. He wouldn't take the chance, not with the security Em's parents have on the place. Besides," I remembered the layout of their house, "there's nowhere to get a good shot, unless we're standing in front of a window. We won't be doing that."

Bella was still for a moment. "Incredible," she breathed. "How do you know he doesn't have a shot?"

"Because I checked the area when Rose was driving. We're on the third floor, not the second. I realized that when we got back. The houses around us are only two stories high. If Jamie got a sniper rifle, which is really stretching things by the way, the only house he could use would be the one there." I pointed to our bedroom window. The roof was barely visible. "He would have to use their chimney to get any sort of workable angle. It would take skill I don't think he has."

"Do you?" she asked, her eyebrows raised.

"No. Only with a controller," I grinned. "You laughed at me then, but shooter games can be really useful."

"Games," she repeated, breathing out. "Geometry. Oh. Fuck, that scared me."

"Geometry?" I felt myself smile. What the fuck? "What scared you?"

"That you would have that much experience... I mean, you do. But sniper rifles? Really?"

"It was the only weapon I could think of that would get the job done. He'd have to lure someone out for any other gun to work. And he'd have to come into range of the house. Rose has guys around to make sure that doesn't happen."

"You been thinking about stuff like this all day, haven't you?"

"You haven't been?"

"Not like you," she replied. "You need to relax."

"I will. In Washington."

"No," she pushed me back down onto the bed. "You need to relax, now. You're wound tighter than I think you realize. I don't think you got a chance to calm down after you got here. We were thrown into shit. You're going to have an actual breakdown if you don't find a way to relax. Go back with me, okay? Why were you thinking about someone holding you at-" Understanding dawned as she put the pieces together. "Did Rose point her gun at you? When she gave it to you-"

I cut in, not wanting to get into details. "All we did was talk. Relax, babe. I've been on overdrive today and weird memories break through when that happens. It wasn't Rose. Carrying the gun fucked with me, I think. It's been a long time since I've held one, and... I'm fine now."

"What is it about a gun, then? Aside from it being dangerous and all of what we talked about... Why are you off about it? Honestly. I won't judge. You know that."

"I'm not weak, y'know? Guns don't _scare _me, just... It bothered me. Once. Someone, um, held a gun on me and... I don't fucking know. Do we need to talk about this right now?"

"No," Bella answered mildly. "It's helping, if you want to elaborate. You aren't shaking anymore."

"I wasn't shaking before..."

"Yeah, you were. Not visibly... I felt it when I touched you. I'm not sure how to explain."

I groaned, frustrated by her rational, honest tone. "It's helping? You're sure?"

"You aren't as pale anymore, either."

"Because it's really fucking sunny here," I pointed out. "I think I'm tanning."

Bella fixed me with a neutral look, the one that said she didn't buy my bullshit. I crooked smiled at her to see if I could get a reaction. She raised the cigarette to her lips, inhaled shortly, and exhaled without doing more than let her eyebrow raise.

The pillows were soft underneath my shoulders, perfectly positioned. I felt the cold night air streaming in through the opened windows. The silence reassured me that all was still well. Bella pulled a blanket around her shoulders. I helped her move the ends over so one fell over my chest, the other wound comfortably around our hips. She nodded when I reached for the cigarettes. Strange to think, I had been minutes away from being inside of her. Now we were settling in for one of our conversations?

"Alright, fine. The whole story."

"Only if it helps you." Her eyes warmed, concern and reservation filtering through.

That I didn't want to talk about it was telling enough. She was right. I knew she was right. Talking was bringing me closer to the core. The bottom line. Why did my skin crawl whenever the cold metal touched my back? It was distracting. I was distracted enough. It didn't make any sense. I had carried guns before without all of these mental hangups. They were more dangerous than the weapon itself. I couldn't let something that would protect me be the cause of my ruination.

Whenever I thought back to Florida, I never got as far as this part of the memory. Getting to Alice, finding her, what happened after, when we escaped... there were things in between that my mind shied away from. With all of the years that had passed, I was surprised to _be_remembering them. I thought I had found a way to block them away as Alice's mind did for her. They had been repressed, not lost forever. I had the scars to prove it.

"James, the one that gave me this," I tilted my head back so she could see the old scar around my neck, "I cornered him in one of the offices after I found Alice. He pulled a gun on us. It went off and I heard her scream. I thought he had shot her. He didn't, but I had no way of knowing, y'know? You don't look away from something that could instantly kill you. Alice let me know she was okay. I would have rushed him if she hadn't held me back. James escaped because he had a gun. They're so... I like knives better. I always have. You can be stabbed and keep going if you have to. Being shot? I don't think there's any 'finishing what you set out to do.' It's done. Over. Just like that." I rubbed a hand over my face. No wonder I didn't like remembering.

_ I had never felt as vulnerable as when the air seemed to vibrate, those few seconds where I hated myself for not being able to look away from the gun. Part of me had snapped. I hated myself with every fiber of my being. Alice had sagged against my leg, as though she had been trying to get behind me. I dug my fingers into her shoulders so that she wouldn't fall to the floor. James had laughed. The sound made me feel sick, full of hatred and rage for him, disgust with myself for not having the balls to see if Alice were dead. Every detail of the gun was engraved into my mind. _

_ "Edward?" Alice breathed, choking on air as she struggled not to move. "Edward? Did he shoot you?"_

_ My knees nearly buckled. She was still alive. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pushed her behind me. If the gun went off again, I wasn't worried about her being his target._

_ "I'm leaving before the cops get here," James smirked. "And you're going to let me. I won't miss next time." _

_ "Go," I snarled at him. "Don't come after Alice. Don't come after me."_

_ "Stay out of my way and don't look for me," James made his way to the door. "You've got it, Edward Masen. I know your name and I have the money to destroy you. Remember that. If you get away." It sounded like he giggled. "Good luck." He slammed the door behind him. I heard a chair scrape across the floor, the doorknob shaking as he locked us inside. Idiot. That's what windows were for. And there were glass panes in the door. He wasn't getting away. _

_ "No, Edward," Alice wrapped her legs around one of mine and held onto my arm. "Don't go after him. He'll shoot you. He has a gun." _

_ "Not if I attack him from behind like he did to me." _

_ "We have to get out of here. There are other girls here besides me. We have to get them out." _

_ There were what? "How many other girls?" _

_ "Four. C'mon, I'll show you. Can you get us out of the room?" _

_ I used her sweater to wrap around my hand. The glass broke, I pulled the chair out of the way and opened the door. We used it as cover, but James was gone. I had Alice use me as a shield, just in case. We found the other girls, and then the cops found us. They found James, too, less than a mile away. He had tried to use a fake I.D, but they found his real one when they searched him. They thought my blood on his shirt was suspicious. We were brought to a 'secure facility' where they let me see Alice only after we had answered their questions. Our story was the truth, I knew Alice was smart enough to have my back. I had come for her, to help her escape the family that wanted to sexually abuse her. There was no evidence tying me to anything I brought with me. Alice and I both blamed the weapons on James. He had used them against us, not the other way around. _

_ There was a mix-up when we were brought to the Courthouse. Alice had demanded she be allowed to see the proceedings. Somehow, some way, she disappeared before my lawyers and I met with the Judge. I laughed when they told me. Of course Alice had escaped. If I could find an opportunity of my own, I'd meet up with her and get out of New York for good. _

"But you stayed there? After they caught you and put you on probation, you and Alice stayed in the group home until Carlisle and Esme came?"

"You remember right. It was part of the deal. I agreed to stay put, with Alice, in exchange for them taking the chance on letting me out instead of moving me to a detention center. I was a flight risk. They couldn't deny that I had done the right thing, but... I broke a lot of laws in the process. My lawyer liked me, I got lucky. He talked them down. A lot. I agreed to serve the rest of my sentence in the group home, unless I was placed with a family willing to take responsibility for the remaining time."

"Carlisle and Esme."

"Yup."

"So, in addition to going to sniper rifle lengths, thinking of ways to protect me... You've been having memories like that all day, too?"

"My dysfunction, not yours," I kissed her. "It all comes from stress. Talking does help. The gun doesn't bother me anymore. We're not behind, we're ahead. We can make it through two more days."

"Technically, one."

"We don't leave 'til late. I count two days."

"One, if you'll be optimistic with me."

"I'm being optimistic we'll get back to Washington in one piece." I ran my hand up and down her back, comforted by the softness of her skin.

"Would it help if I were to carry the gun, but in a way that makes it easy for you reach?"

"No," I decided. "Getting it from you might take seconds I won't have. I'm fine with it now. It wasn't the gun. What happened with Alice... I don't want to be in a position like that again. I'm not, and I won't be. It's that simple."

"This isn't one of those things that you shouldn't have to ask me to do?"

"Nope," I met her eyes so she could see I was telling the truth.

"Will you hate me later because I prefer you stay safe with me? Will you hate me because I don't want you to go out and find him yourself? I know it's the only reason you're not out there searching, right now. I'm not sure how that makes me feel, but so long as it's the safer way... I'm good with it."

I listened to her and felt the calm wash through me. Incredible? She was. Absolutely. She asked the questions I hadn't let myself ask. "I won't hate you. There was a choice. I've already made it. If I had a better plan... I don't. Why would I hate you for things we can't control?"

"When we talked about how life might go wrong, back when we found the fight at school," she remembered, "we talked about whether or not I'd fight with you when the time came. Backing down was never an option. Now it's the only option. I thought maybe I'd change my mind if we got confirmation it was Jamie. Now we know that it is and... much as I want him to be removed as a threat, especially since he's being watched- I'm okay with laying low until we fly out."

"Yup, and I'm more comfortable with bringing the fight to Washington. If Jamie wants to stalk you back there, we're covered in a way we can't be here, good as Rose is."

"What should we do until Rose and Em get back?"

"Distract ourselves for a few hours, and hopefully sleep through a few more?"

"I like that plan," Bella smiled. "It's satisfying enough for you?"

"For tonight," I crooked-smiled for her. "We'll have to think of something more inventive for tomorrow."

"I have an outfit that might help with that."

"I've got a video to go with it."

"Want to hear something random? I think it's sexy, though."

"Of course."

"I like that you don't have a physical reaction to Rose. It's not that I would have been jealous if you did, I mean, she's gorgeous. I just... like that you don't."

"To Rosalie? Your Rosalie? Are you kidding?"

"What?" Bella asked, laughing at my tone.

"She's..." Bossy? Arrogant? Too controlling for me to ever consider- This was Bella's friend. "She and Emmett seem happy together. I don't see her as-" I struggled to find words that weren't insulting.

"Not your type?"

"To put it lightly." I flipped Bella onto her back. "Of all the things you've dealt with today, that's what you noticed?"

"One of them," she smiled slowly. "I couldn't worry about Jamie all of the time. Not with you wearing that shirt, and definitely now you're not wearing one."

"Keep that mindset going." I settled into the hollow of her hips. She bent her legs around mine, not needing any foreplay for the first round. I slid inside of her and felt pleasure in her body's initial resistance. Her nails dug into my lower back, urging me to ignore the way she clenched down around me so that I could be completely inside of her. I waited until she relaxed before I thrust deep and hard, going still when her back arched. I watched her forget as pleasure made her face flush. Tonight wasn't a night for trying new positions. I wanted to be on top, ready to move or react if something disturbed the calm. I wanted to see her come and then come again, as many times as it took until she fell into a deep sleep. And then I would be able to forget that I was holding her when I should have been tracking her stalker. She bit my chest. The pain helped bring a more rational way of thinking. What else could I do? Why was I worrying about Jamie when we were guarded, definitely alone, with him in his hotel room an hour away?

Because I loved her, I put my arm around her shoulder as she slept. Rosalie and Emmett weren't back yet. I had gotten a text from Em saying everything was fine. Getting bored with Scrabble, I used my phone to search for tickets home. Finding a return trip from Phoenix to Washington wasn't going to be a problem. I booked one on the spot, getting a seat on Bella's plane. I read the fine print and paid nineteen dollars to pick a seat near hers. Why the fuck not? The total came to one-fifty, I laughed at the difference from my Vegas flight. Lighting a cigarette, I blanked my mind and listened to the night.

**Authors End Note:  
**I wanted there to be more in this chapter, but... a lot happened, when a lot didn't really happen. There's more on the way. I'm back from California- went there for four days, work purposes,- and I've got most of the next chapter written!

**Authors End Note 2:  
Latuacantante4him-  
**Renee is good for now. Phil will come later. I figured there was enough going on in this chapter without worrying about Phil. I've plans for him, haha.  
**Tiffanyashm-  
**Thanks!  
**Bearygirl-  
**Trying to keep updates quick, lol. Thank you, =).  
**TwiFox-  
**Wow, thanks! xx  
**Yagalinus0420-  
**Heh heh. I glossed over Edward meeting Rose's crew for now. I'm not sure what I want them to be like yet. Aside from guard duty, they don't really have any other purpose. And neither Edward nor Bella are sitting down with anyone to get high... The next chapter's going to be fun. ^_^. Hope to see your review!  
**Carlisle's-nose-extension-  
**Yupyup. Looking forward to your comments about Edward-Rose interactions. =D.  
**Sadie1787-  
**More stories coming in the next chapter. Trying to wrap everything up, 'sigh.  
**Itlnbrt-  
**Thank you for reviewing! I couldn't let Jamie go, lol. I've had this planned from chapter 30. It's how I knew 'HB' wouldn't stagnate and end in a boring way. =p.  
**Lunar-  
**Thank you! Hopefully the Edward-Rose conversation wasn't too intense. Phil's being a typical self-entitled, pissed-off, immature guy. Good for plot, lol. I love reading reviews people leave. The alternative was e-mailing everyone separately, and that would take so much more time... I'm sad to have lost some people, but hopefully they'll be back! I love seeing names I recognize, reviewers I look for. You're one, no worries. =D.  
**PBJilly-  
**Yeah, it's how Edward reacts. Over amp-up when problems present themselves, and then deal with it efficiently as he can when confirmation is received. He's a guy, lol. The only one that held him back before Bella was Alice. She was a kid, Edward was her... She relied on him, so she didn't often stop him from doing dangerous things. Besides, the more one triumphs in life, overcoming obstacles, the higher they rise. When the fall comes, I think he's going to learn more because of all the victory. Setting it up, =).  
**MariaLorenzen-  
**Thank you for the review! I hope you've been doing well. Are you ready for the holidays?  
**Fliberty-  
**Jamie didn't make life very pleasant for her. The occasional threats, I think Bella's realizing now how much it grated on her psychologically. The idea of a stalker freaks me out. I'd much rather a physical confrontation than looking out the window to see someone peering in, y'know? Don't let them out of your sight! Go through the window. Haha. This is why I'm not a huge fan of horror movies. They make me mad. But Rose makes me happy as a character. Emmett's pretty low-key at the moment. He's backup, muscle, Rosalie's guy, and incredibly laid back. I think that's why he and Edward have gotten along so well. No dominance battles except that between E and Rose.  
**o  
**Nope! Edward battled the storm, almost literally, and won! Renee's better, but I think she and Bella need to talk about what happened in the past. Closure is always good. And the Phil situation will conclude somehow, too!  
**Joanna-  
**Hi! Thanks! Writing in Carlisle's POV was so difficult, lol! Charlie, too. Alice was easy, but then... I've never been a parent. Kids aren't really my priority, and I know some readers were disappointed because I won't write a pregnancy-marriage fic. How can I? I've no experience with either, and don't really want them. There's going to be a different POV before the story ends. I'm not sure what character's going to take over yet. Not Renee or Rosalie, definitely not Emmett. I need someone mature enough to offer different perspective. Hm...  
**Svollgraf-  
**Because you have good instincts? Lol. Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm happy you're liking the way this story is going!  
**19Casey94-  
**Thanks!  
**AsthaCullen-  
**^_^, thank you!  
**Cina's-  
**I was looking for pictures online. Most Nikki Reed pics showed her with brown hair. If I want to use any of them... had to find a way to make it work. I think I did, makes me happy.  
**o  
**'flush. Thank you so much!  
**LaPumuckl-  
**Thank you for all of your reviews! Incredible! Wow!  
I remember writing that. There was so much angry energy that day, hahaha. And I had _just_ seen 'Sex on Fire.' Great video!  
**o**  
Mmm, s/m. When I started this story, that's what I had intended. Eventually, Edward and Bella would have taken their relationship to a new level. Didn't happen. That's what Switches became. It makes sense, though. I hadn't experienced it when I was in high-school. I'd just started learning about it. Besides, with all of this going on... when would there have been time? Lol.  
**o  
**Yeah, I didn't want Bella's personality to fade into Edward's. ^_^. Jake found his way into the story. I hadn't intended for Jacob or the Res to appear in HB. Then, all of a sudden, he was there. I needed them for conflict, haha.  
**o  
**Have I thanked you for all of your reviews? Honestly. =D. Sorry to have made you cry! Edward's frustration with Alice and Bella was fun. Wanting to prove he could still fight, especially to keep Bella safe... and then to have Bella be the one that ended it, that made me happy too. And all for Mike Newton. Go figure.  
**o**  
Another Buffy fan! Awesome! Spike was such a great character. I was sad they made him so 'tame' later in the series. Had enough of that from Angel. Gah.  
**o**  
When Bella went to change, I needed people reading to know that I wasn't going to throw in the love triangle from the books. I felt that this Edward was too strong to deal with Jake honing in on his relationship. Besides, I don't think Jake is motivated enough for Bella. He runs a gang, lives on the Res, he can go to college and make profit on the side. Where to go from there? Edward's been places and he's done things. His strength is different from Jake's, fighting for everything he's attained. I love writing EPOV.  
**o  
**I'm not sure why I felt so 'off' about that chapter. Probably because, if not written right, Edward's experiment with the tub would have come across as insane. But he's a masochist, and he tends to know himself and his limits pretty well. He would never endanger Bella. And I didn't want to get too romantic and sappy, y'know? Go down that path and it's hard to revert back. o.O. Lol. Sorry to have made you cry again! Edward isn't a cuddler, but Bella is. I think its good for him. She's not clingy, and she wasn't much of a cuddler either, but... c'mon. It's Edward, =D. Thank you so, so much for all you've written!  
**MrsJasperWhitlock2009-  
**Thanksgiving is always on Thursday, you're right. Bella's there for an early Thanksgiving/Christmas thing with her mom. The real Thanksgiving and Christmas come when she gets back to Forks. =). I think, story wise, it's only the second week of November...  
**Rhonda-  
**Thanks for continuing to review!


	50. Meet the Monster

**Chapter 50-  
Meet the Monster**

**Authors Note:  
**The Twilight Saga, and any related characters, do not belong to me.  
**Authors Note 2:  
**Long absence. My apologies. Going to try and finish this story before the holiday season ends.

Spaces instead of the old dot format. It doesn't work anymore, apparently.  
**Serious Edward Picture-  
** lh4 ggpht com/_pVXrYi8s2rM/Stcqal9in_I/AAAAAAAAB_k/Yui6VQ0dbjI/250pxNormal_Robert_Pattinson_News_Max1%5B2%5D jpg

**Edward Driving-  
** images2 wikia nocookie net/_cb20111206004346/twilightsaga/images/0/01/Screencaps-of-Robert-Pattinson-From-the-New-Moon-DVD-Extras-twilight-series-11023971-560-315 jpg

**Playlist:  
** grooveshark com/#!/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942

**BPOV  
Worth Dying For- **Rise Against**  
Mastermind**- Mindless Self Indulgence

**EPOV  
Meet the Monster**- Five Finger Death Punch  
**Bulletproof- **Five Finger Death Punch

**Bella's Point of View**

I saw Rosalie calling and had tried to pick up. Bad reception made the call drop before I could get into the other room. My return call ended in dead air, the one bar on my phone disappearing. Sighing impatiently, I had quietly pulled jeans on, the closest shirt I could find. With the cell propped against my shoulder, I listened to Rose's ringtone before her voice-mail kicked in. Stomping into boots in their living room, I breathed a sigh of relief as my text message sign blinked.

_'Help me cart Emmett's ass in? He's dead weight and I can't do it myself.' _

I should have known. Rosalie would never admit that she couldn't handle something on her own. When I saw someone tall step out of the shadows, I had leapt back towards the door. 'Danger,' my every instinct screamed. Maybe my subconscious remembered the scent of Jamie's cologne.

"Turn around or I will shoot you in the back. Scream and I'll shoot you in the face."

I knew that voice. There was no doubt in my mind that he was holding a gun, and that he was pissed enough at me to pull the trigger. Shivers of fear rolled down my spine as I slowly faced Jamie. I visibly eased my hand away from the doorknob, only inches away...

"You look good," I said, not taking my eyes from his fever-bright gaze. "Long time, no see."

"We need to get out of here."

"Where are Rosalie and Emmett? How did you get her phone?"

"This?" Jamie unpocketed Rose's purple cell. "I didn't kill your friends."

"The guards?" I ached to see Jamie flail, falling over seconds after I heard a gun discharge. Surely one of them would hear us talking and come to investigate.

"Not very good at guarding. Don't make me tell you again, Bella. Come over here."

"I... uh, I really don't think I want to do that." Anything to buy time. The only two options I had weren't good. A: I could lunge for the door, hoping to get inside and slam it behind me, really hoping that his bullets wouldn't penetrate through the aluminum screen door and the heavier door behind it. Or, B: I would destroy all chances of getting inside the house because I was afraid he would shoot me, anyway. Was he that insane? ... yes. My life could end in the next five seconds, and I didn't have any way to prevent it. My legs were shaking and I hated it.

"Want to save your lovers life?" he smiled, feral and condescending. "Think I don't know where the bedroom is? If I unload this clip low on that wall, will all of the bullets miss him?"

I moved away from the door without thinking twice. With the way Jamie was holding the gun, Edward would take a shot to the back before he had a chance to wake up. Why the fuck hadn't I woken him up before I left? Because he looked tired? Because I had wanted him to rest, not having to deal with more bullshit when he needed sleep?

"Where are we going?" Jamie took one step back when I took two forward. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, still perfectly aligned to shoot either me or through the bedroom wall.

"Somewhere we won't be interrupted. You've made it impossible for me to catch you alone, so... now we do things my way."

"I didn't know you wanted to see me alone," I spoke quickly. "You could have called, y'know."

He aimed me along the side of the house. I could see his bike, hidden in the shrubs near the front of the long, curved driveway. Sleek, it looked fast, painted a dark red and black. Perfect... His arm was still steady. I ignored the fear that made all of my body tremble, knowing it had been pointed at me the whole time. Think, I raged at myself.

"You changed your number," he snapped. "Shut up until we get on the bike."

"My Dad's the head of police in Washington. This is a really bad idea, trying to abduct me." I was babbling, because talking was the only thing I could do. Reminding him that influential people would look for me seemed like a good plan.

"Shut up," he cautioned me again. "I know all about your Dad, your redneck little town in the middle of nowhere. He has no jurisdiction here. Don't think that he's going to swoop in and save you."

No, that would be me. Or Edward, if I could find a way to let him know what was happening.

"Hold your wrists out in front of you."

I hesitated and he leveled the gun at my forehead. "Do not test me, Bella."

My arms shook, but I held them out. And when he aimed the barrel in the air, pulling out a long piece of rope, I knocked it aside with my wrists. I used his body as a shield, pulling him in front of me in case the gun went off as it hit the ground. The first time I screamed, my voice was hoarse with fear. I tried again, then louder as I screamed Edward's name.

Jamie took a solid blow to his chin, but my head flew to the side when he backhanded me. Rage chased fear away. I reached up, knowing it was his neck I had framed in my hands. Digging my nails in, I wrapped my leg around his waist and tried to force him onto his back. I choked, gasping for air when something wound around my throat. He jerked me to the side, then backwards as he scrambled back, getting to his feet. I grabbed the rope with my hands, trying to get a few seconds worth more of air...

Pressure rose, the darkness terrifying as it made my stomach roll, my mind exploding with the intense urge to fight. I couldn't tell up from down, whether I was laying down or still being dragged across the lawn. My nails raked over grass, catching on nothing solid enough to help me. _Edward, I'm sorry. I don't want to die..._ But without air, I couldn't scream for him anymore. I was barely aware of the concrete, sliding roughly over the side of my cheek. Rage burned inside me, but I couldn't make my body move. There was a flash of brilliant pain- I hung on, knowing I was seconds away from needing to succumb ... I didn't want to die this way...

The world spun a few times. I jolted out of the darkness, terrified because I didn't know how much time had passed in between my black-outs. Not much, it seemed. I went from breathing in dust, the driveway stones hurting my face, to sitting up, rage burning when I felt smacks collide with my cheek.

"Get the fuck _up!"_

Can't. I couldn't even speak, my tongue feeling swollen. It was all I could do to cling to consciousness. Jamie grunted, picking me up off the ground. Dead weight, I wanted to smile, but my lips didn't feel as though they moved. He straddled his large motorcycle, hurting me several times as he got my torso aligned with his, my legs around the seat.

"Help me, Bella. I'll let you fall once we reach the highway if I have to choose between you or me."

"Then," I panted, prepared to vomit with all of the jerky movements, "you shouldn't have _hit me_ so many times."

"There you are." I focused my bleary vision, feeling confused and numb when he smiled. "I need you to remember this. Can you hear me?" He tipped my chin back so I could see him. "If we get pulled over, I'll shoot you in the head before I go back to jail."

"Stop threatening me." I was forced to cough as the sides of my throat felt as though they rubbed against one another.

"You'll be fine," he kissed the top of my head. "You'll see, soon as I know we've gotten away."

The bike started. I doubled over, the vibration not helping to calm my stomach. Jamie put his arms underneath mine, using his elbows to push me back against his chest. His legs framed mine, pushing them painfully against the side of his bike.

"Don't test me." Nodding, I let him know that I'd heard over the engine noise.

I closed my eyes and struggled to breathe, hoping Edward had heard me scream. Once my body righted itself, we would be near the highway. My head pounded with sharp bursts of pain, I couldn't stand seeing things flying past us. What I wanted to do was sleep, not struggle to hang onto consciousness. What could I do with him speeding toward the highway? Jamie really would let me fall. I had no doubt that he'd kill me before the cop got out of his car were I to flag attention.

Once we were on solid ground... Jamie could drag me inside? No, I couldn't let that happen. Best case. I'd get away and be back in bed with Edward before he woke up. Worst case, Edward would wake up without me next to him and... unleash hell. I groaned inside, not able to feel parts of my body. My legs were numb from the knee down. I had lost all sensation in my fingers, my hands. Most of my arms to the elbow. I kept them as Jamie had said, not wanting to die because I scraped across pavement. Panic made breathing even more difficult. I needed a game plan.

… how had I been so incurably stupid?

**Edward's Point of View**

_Fear crawled its way up through my stomach, clogging in my throat. I couldn't breathe, but there was a gun... Alice's fingers dug into my thigh. She wasn't moving. Was it the death grip I'd heard about? Had James fired the gun? I was waiting to hear it, every part of my being braced... hoping my body would know to turn, pull Alice to the ground. But had he fired it already? I couldn't look away from him. Emotions I couldn't name broke, leaving me feeling vulnerable, reckless, suicidal, completely calm, and yet terrified all at the same time. Alice was so thin. How had I not realized it-? _

_ 'Edward?' I heard Alice's voice, the surprise in her tone... 'What happened?' _

_ My wrist felt hot, then my fingers. I looked down and saw red. She leaned forward, her shoulder touching my hand. I felt sick, parts of me wanting to jerk backwards and away from the horrifying scene. There was a moment of clarity when I realized that it hadn't happened that way. But it felt so real... had everything else been a dream? Protecting Alice with my body, I knelt down in front of her. I couldn't see where she had been shot, but there was so much blood... It was slick and sticky, dripping down my fingers, smearing across the palm of my hand. _

_ Alice, no- Stay with me! Don't close your eyes!' _

_ 'I want her, Edward.' James was still somewhere behind me. 'I want her...'_

_ 'Never,' I held Alice and frantically tried to stop the bleeding. 'You'll never have her. She's mine.' I couldn't feel any wound, just blood gushing from somewhere underneath her shoulder... Not her heart, I refused to acknowledge where- it couldn't be her heart. _

_ She opened her eyes. Brown. Hard and vicious, nearly black, then fearful. It was Bella, not Alice. She wasn't curled in against my chest, I held her in my arms. ''Help me,' I read her lips, not hearing any sound. I heard her scream, but... it wasn't a noise. It had become a feeling, suffocating me-_

I needed to get the sheets off me, now. Sweating, my heart pounding, I let my eyesight adjust as I looked from corner to corner. Bella wasn't next to me. Why? The word was a snarl, I automatically pulled on a shirt.

"I don't care what you're doing. If you're in the house, Bella, yell or something."

Eerie quiet. There was no way she could have been taken as I slept next to her. Grabbing the gun, pocketing my wallet and phone, I checked to make sure the bathroom was empty. What the fuck was going on? I felt trapped in the midst of a terrible nightmare, disoriented, knowing there was something very bad happening, yet not knowing where, or when... who it involved.

Where the fuck were Rosalie's guards? I hadn't heard any gun-shots. Even drugged, I had found seconds of alertness when I heard a gun discharge. If no one had been shot, or shot to kill... where the fuck was everyone!? A scream broke through the silence. Only instinct kept me from pulling the front door open, making me an easy mark. _No,_ dread curled in my stomach. I took the steps three at a time, catching myself on the railing as the narrower bottom stair made me trip. Which direction? Around the hedges toward their driveway, or toward the street, making a right around the side of their house? Scream again, Bella, I didn't want to waste time running the wrong way.

An engine started. The last fucking thing I wanted to hear. I skidded to a stop in the driveway, staring at the cars.

"You son of a bitch," I growled. The back two tires of my car were flat. Without tools, I couldn't get into the family's SUV. Running down the driveway, I saw headlights disappear. They had made a right, I needed to see which way they went on the highway. My lungs burned, I pushed my body to the limit getting to the street end. Worse than New York, the block seemed to stretch forever. My worst fucking nightmare. Please... fuck, please, I had to know where they were headed. I knew it was Jamie, the guy everyone feared. And I knew Bella was with him. All the same, I would have given ten years of my life to hear her yelling, running after me in complete confusion.

_'You paranoid freak,' I could hear her already. 'What are you doing?' _

Jamie whizzed over two lanes, merging into the one that would take them toward Chandler. Two riders on the back of a motorcycle. He had both arms around her, holding the bike's handlebars. Her head rested on his shoulder... strangely. The angle was odd, as though he were pulling her head back and down... There was no way for me to get a clear shot.

Would she try to fight Jamie for control? Not on the bike, Bella wasn't that reckless. If she could fight, she would. I trusted that much, at least. Cold sweat beaded on my forehead. I didn't know where to go. There was no reason to head back toward the house. Flicking the safety on, I concealed the gun again. Was there any point to making my way down toward the highway? Indecision sickened me, my rational side making points that took me further from finding Bella.

Walking alongside the highway had gotten me and Alice chased by two cops. Being arrested before I found Bella and Jamie... the thought made my blood freeze. Fucking Phoenix, I knew _nothing_ about the state. Nobody was going to stop for a crazed-looking hitchhiker, and I had no hope of following them beyond the highway. I hoped to fuck that Bella wasn't unconscious. What else could I fucking _do?_

I almost dropped my phone, pulling it out of my pocket. An unknown number.

"Who is this?"

"Where's Bella?" I heard Rosalie, her voice louder than mine.

"Gone, toward Chandler," I replied. "Where are you?"

"Five minutes away. Are you after them?"

"He slashed my tires, I couldn't. Get here faster."

"How did he get her?"

"I don't know."

"How don't you know?!"

"... I was sleeping."

"You were _what_?"

"Don't," I snarled into the phone. "Not right now. I'll explain later. Do you know where Jamie would go?"

"I need to hang up."

"I'm not at the house. You'll see me before you make the turn onto your street."

"Emmett sees you." She hung up on me.

Now I could see them. Headlights and a red Jeep, the gold, blonde of Rosalie's hair. I paced, impatience, rage, and fear making me feel like a crazy person. For the next ten minutes, at least, Bella was safe enough. Rose could call her contacts and have them watch for a motorcycle coming through the area. Thanks to Alice and her interest in breathing techniques, I closed my eyes and held onto calm. My heart stopped racing, the light-headedness slowly faded. I took a deep breath before the Jeep pulled to a stop and found enough self-control to remain calm.

"We need to stop at home," Rosalie announced over the engine, "I need to get my backup phone. Jamie has mine."

"How-"

Emmett glanced back at me in the rear-view mirror. "Four guys tried to pick a fight with us on the way out of Victoria's building. I think one of them lifted the phone."

"What happened to my crew?" Rose asked sharply, knuckles white as she gripped the seat.

"There was no one around when I went tearing after Bella."

"Your parents?" she turned suddenly and grabbed Emmett's thigh.

"Not home, babe. They won't be back 'til later."

She was out of the Jeep before it stopped. "Get my shit from inside? I need to check and see what happened-" I followed Emmett into the house, using the time to grab more of what I had brought with me. The gun was really comforting, I itched to have the chance to use it.

"A poker game?!" I heard Rosalie screech. "Of the fucking six of you I had stay here, to guard the fucking house, only three-" Fighting sounds replaced the stunned silence.

A poker game? Jamie had managed to sneak around the property because the guards were slackers? Judging from Rose's tone, and the loud scuffling sounds coming from their backyard, Rosalie had the situation under control. It wasn't my business, I had to remind myself. There was enough I needed to deal with without ripping the guards apart. That would happen after I got Bella back. Save energy, my murderous side whispered. Deal with them later, after the big fight.

Jamie had taken Bella. I smelled her on the black shirt I shrugged into. My pants and boots were black, they would hide the blood he shed once I found him.

"Victoria's watching for Jamie," Rose said, wiping blood off her hands, "but I'm sure he's not going back to the suits. The people I have looking for him are prepared to do what they need to get Bella back."

"Why did he have guards?"

"I've learned that his parents are being transferred from prison to house arrest. Jamie was going to meet up with them. The plan apparently-"

Emmett walked into the kitchen carrying a car charger. It looked like he had a personal moment, watching Rose rinse a blood-stained hand towel in the sink. "Are there bodies outside?" he asked carefully.

"No. They left." She turned to me, "You'll have new tires in the next ten minutes. They're not stolen, and its the least I could... I really can't say how sorry... I mean, this fuck-up is on me. I should have known better."

"I shouldn't have fallen asleep. Where are we going?" I asked, impatient to start combing the streets.

"I don't know where we should be going, yet." Rose said, listening to the phone prompts as she pressed buttons. "I need my numbers."

I didn't care about how Bella had slipped past me. It didn't matter how she got out of the house. All that mattered to me was that Jamie had her. They could have gotten to his destination in the time it was taking us to just start trying to find him. Rose and Emmett went into their bedroom. My pacing was driving Rose up a wall, but I had to keep moving. If I stopped, I'd start hitting things. It had been wise of her to send the guards away. They had fucked up, in a really, really bad way, but they were still her people. I respected Rose enough to honor that.

Another unknown number. It had to be Jamie.

"Why are you calling me?" I answered, raising the volume and putting my phone on speaker so Rose would hear.

"Take me off speakerphone. The only person I want to talk to is you, Edward Cullen. Don't try to fuck me."

"How do you know my name?" I wasn't 'Edward Cullen' in Bella's directory.

"As it turns out, we have history. Thank you for coming to Arizona, I lost track of you when you escaped to New York."

My mouth went dry, I felt the walls of Rose's room close in around me. "While you were arrested in Florida for crimes against children." At least my voice didn't waver. I was too pissed to sound weak. "I know you as James, don't I."

Rose ran into the room, stopping abruptly when I motioned for her to be quiet. The volume was loud enough for everyone to hear without speakerphone mode on.

"I didn't know anything about the videos my parents were making. They were having some issues in their marriage, what can I say? It was no one's business, until you and your little brat bitch brought trouble to my door." He reined his anger back, speaking in a more even tone,"You're going to be very useful to me, or I'm going to do unspeakably awful things to your girlfriend."

Moving around the bedroom, I rifled through Bella's bag until I found paper and a pen. 'Call Alice. Tell her to have Jay arm up and wait at the house. I'll call soon. Just precaution.' I passed it to Rose. She nodded and left to make the call.

"What do you want?"

"Bella," the voice laughed. "And for you to know that I have her."

Ice curled in my stomach, disbelief turned into rage. "Now I know," I replied.

"The funny thing is," James spoke over me, "I was over Bella. She wanted to leave, without letting me know... fine. And then, guess who I see? You with Bella. You've come a long way, Edward Cullen. I've had time to do some digging. You have it all in Washington, don't you? I have _nothing_ because of you."

There were scuffling sounds. I heard heavy panting, a chair being scraped across the ground. Someone whimpered and I knew it wasn't an animal. The voice was louder, more maniacal. "Tell Edward how it hurts," low laughter. "Tell him to avenge you. Tell him!"

Panting, someone snarled.

"Tell him!"

Angry breathing, I was holding my breath to hear anything Bella could give me.

"You left me and brought back street trash?! How many times did I tell you? Hmm? I'm _all you need_."

"Alright! You've made your point," I cut in before he grew any more incensed. "You've got her, okay? What do you want from _me_?"

I knew enough about abusive people to know that the longer he stayed on topic, the more angry he would become. Fuck! Bella was trapped with _him_? The chair slid back across the floor. Footsteps. A door slammed.

"I've got money," I said, trying to keep desperation from being heard. "How much were you hoping to get?"

"I want more than money."

"Trade her for me."

Everything was so quiet... I pictured a small room. It wasn't a house, unless it were abandoned. There couldn't be neighbors around, not with the way he had been shrieking. I didn't hear any echoes, no floorboards creaking.

"I wouldn't have spent this much time on someone who isn't useful to me. Brains and beauty in... our Bella-babe. Connections through you. The New York friends, you remember them, right? It would be a shame for all of my careful research to be pointless."

"... what about them?"

"I need a new identity. One that will fool anyone who wants to look into my past. You know people who specialize in fakes. I'm thinking diplomatic immunity."

He was insane. "The fake ID won't be a problem. Diplomatic immunity? That's not fucking possible-"

"You'd make me the fucking president if it would save her!"

There was a long silence. I felt myself gripping the phone as though I could keep him from hanging up.

"Fine. Get me twenty thousand in cash, the fake ID and papers… make sure I have a gun license. I'm armed and plan on staying that way. I'll arrange my own transportation. Get me out of the country, I'll give her to you in one piece."

I barely kept myself from snorting. How considerate of him. "Done."

"You're so cooperative," he laughed. "I _love_ making you wait. You'll wait to hear from me, won't you? I want to hear you say it."

"When will I be hearing from you?"

"I had plenty of time to plot and make friends, doing time for charges you helped stack against me. Say it right, Edward."

Ungritting my teeth, I braced my hand against the wall to keep from putting my fist through it. "I will be waiting to hear from you, James. When will I get the call?"

"Nine am. Bella and I have some catching up to do."

"If you hurt her-"

"I won't violate your girl. Unless you try to fuck me over."

"You show me she's fine, in person, I give you the shit. No drop off point, no messenger bullshit. You give me Bella, then you walk away and you _never_ bother us again."

"How do I know the papers will pass inspection?" he asked, very business-like.

"I know good people, and I won't fuck around with you holding Bella. How do I know she's going to stay alive?"

There was a rustling sound and I heard deep even breathing. "She fell asleep. I've nothing to do for the next few hours. I think I'll go out and find someone fresh," he said to himself. There was a pause, I hard him breathe in. "When she wakes up, I'll make sure not to damage her _if_ you give me proof that my ID is secure."

"Already done."

"Do not call me for anything. If you call, she bleeds. You meet me with what I want or I'll leave you pieces of Bella." I think he actually giggled. "I love winning for a change. How does it feel, Cullen?"

The line disconnected.

"Do you really know people that will help you?" Rose asked, barely waiting for me to hang up. "We have a lot to talk about later."

"Yes," I replied. "And yes, I know we do."

"Good. You call them, I'll try to track Bella down. Do you have the twenty g's?"

"I've got that, too."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Are you okay? Are you going to hold it together?"

"I'll be fine. You two?"

Emmett nodded, looking worried, but prepared to jumpstart into action should he need to. Rose hesitated, but she flipped her phone open and left, Em following. "Shout if there are any updates."

I heard their bedroom door slam. What the fuck was happening? The room spun for a moment, I felt dazed, sinking down onto the corner of the bed. What was the game-plan here? What was I doing, looking through names in my phone? They meant nothing as I processed what had happened. What was I looking for? New York, I needed to find someone... '_Get your shit together!' _The enraged inner voice jolted me back. Before the debilitating rage broke through, I started at 'A' again and found the number I had been looking for.

Aro. He wouldn't have left New York, not with the cash he pulled in doing what he did. I didn't exactly consider him a friend, though I kept his number because he had always been down to make some easy cash. I couldn't think about whether he had changed his number, if he were still alive. Pressing the Call button, I held my breath. It rang! Fuck yes! Now, I just needed him to pick up.

"Who the fuck is this?" It was him. The deep voice, wariness.

"Edward Brandon. You owe me a favor, I'm collecting."

"... I don't know any Edward whoeverthefuck, aight? You must have gotten your lines crossed, or-"

"You know exactly who I am." I felt my patience start to snap. "If you make me pay you a visit, I will _fuck_ with _all_ your shit."

I might not have seen him in years, but I could picture him clearly in my head. Grubby, three gold teeth, on the skinny side, a skinhead turned white rapper type after he spent a few months in jail- I stopped regretting that I'd helped him once I learned what it was he did. I stepped in for him and kept three guys from jacking the bag he was carrying. He said he'd pay for my help... and it took me a week to track him down after he ran. From there, it went pretty smoothly. We had business off and on, for years. The last job I helped him with, I let Aro keep my share of the cut in return for a favor owed. I knew Alice and I weren't going to be in the area for much longer. It made sense to keep a master of fakes on my call list.

"Yeah, Edward. Alright, alright! I remember you now, man. Take it easy. What do you need?"

"You still do what you used to do?"

"Me? Naw, yo, I- … Look, I know I owe you a favor, but-"

Did he not know that I would tear him apart? I'd wear his fucking intestines as a belt. I couldn't get to New York, not before the deadline for Bella hit. He needed to work with me and I had _no _leverage.

"Do you need me to remind you _why _it is you owe me a favor?"

He sighed heavily. "You crazy m'fucker. You'd really come back, wouldn't you. Fuck, man... I don't talk about shit over the phone."

"If I could be there, I would be. This phone is untraceable."

"No, no. Don't come here, man. Fine. What kind of papers you need?"

"Enough for a working, new identity. A gun license. Papers to get someone out of the country."

Aro whistled low and sucked his teeth in. "That's a big favor."

"You _owe me _a big favor," I snarled. "Then we're even. I won't contact you again."

"I'll do my best. I cant guarantee anything, you know that."

"They've got someone I… fucking care about, Aro. You think I was fucked up before? If she dies because you delegated to some incompetent fuck, I will be coming after you."

"I don't know what the fuck you just said. But a'ight. Seriously, calm your shit down. Trigger-happy fuck. I'll have what you need in a few days. What are the specs?"

"I don't have a few days. I've got eight hours, Aro."

"You're askin' me to move the world for you. For nothin." He groaned, sighing. "Where you at?"

"Arizona."

"I'm in New York, bro. You realize this?"

"Aro…"

"A'ight, look. Im'a hook you up. I got a cousin in Las Vegas. I'll get him to do the work for you. He's been doin' this for thirty years, cool? The job'll be better than what I could do."

"Have him call me after you contact him."

"We're even now, hear me?"

"Even," I replied. "I don't have time to kill with this project. I needed results an hour ago, y'know what I mean?"

"I feel you. The last thing I want is you ragin' 'round here again. I'll get your shit."

Another call ended. Full battery still, I stared at the four white bars. I hated having to trust people that wouldn't ordinarily be trustworthy. Anyone in my phone from New York knew what I would do if they failed me. If I said I'd do something, it was done. That included threats.

It looked like I was heading back to Las Vegas. Walking through the house again, I knocked on Rose's door before opening it. "I need to borrow the Jeep. I've got to go and get the papers Jamie wants."

"Your car's tires have been changed. I'll text you with a location when I have one. Drive like hell and get there when I do."

"Of course I will."

"Edward?" I turned at her hesitant tone. "How do you know Jamie?"

"That's a long story." I said, impatient to get on the road. "I'll tell it once we get Bella back."

"I'm only asking because... Is Bella in more danger now that Jamie knows you're with her?"

"Not for the next nine hours." Rose nodded, motioning that we'd talk later. "Do you know how Jamie got here? When?"

"He came into town a few months before Bella did. I think he was drawn to her because they were both new kids. I don't know _how_ he got here, but I know he was staying with a relative for a while before they kicked him out. I had his old place searched. He's not there."

"Fuck. Okay. Call me with updates?"

I was going to be breaking all sorts of speeding violations, again. Getting a ticket for talking on my phone was the least of my worries. GPS set, three-quarters tank of gas, I'd get there. I took it easy going through the main roads, but once I hit the highway, that was it.

My phone buzzed as I left the city. I fumbled to pick up, "Yeah. Edward here."

"I hear you need some pretty big work done."

"Aro said he was calling in a favor?" I verified.

"Yeah." He sounded thrilled about it. "I know the other details. What's the guy look like?"

"Um-"

"Do you know what security's like nowadays? I've got shit to do today." I didn't trust myself to speak. _He _had shit to do today?

"Six foot, short blonde hair, gray eyes," I fabricated, hoping I remembered right. James had longer hair when I'd known him. Chances were, he had it cut in jail. If he hadn't, it wasn't my problem.

"If you're not here for the pick up by five this mornin', you're outta luck, man. I don't pass on pussy to repay a family favor."

"Where?"

"Between the bitch's legs, where the fuck you think?"

"... … No. _Where," _I resisted the urge to pound my fist against the steering wheel. "Where am I meeting you?"

"Oh. Got something to write with?"

What the- … unfuckingreal. I put the address into my GPS. "I'll be there before five."

"This is a lotta fucking work done for fucking free. Appreciate me, motherfucker."

He hung up on me, too. I accelerated past ninety, not worried when there was nothing but open road in front of me. One-ten, my car wasn't shaking or shuddering. Everything was falling down around me... I gripped the steering wheel and fumbled for my cigarettes.

What did I need to do? After picking up the papers from Aro's cousin, I'd get back to Rose's and... what? Wait for James to call? Unless Rosalie heard something and texted me an address. Or if Bella managed to get away... my stomach clenched again as I realized how unsteady all of the plans were. I wasn't even sure Bella was okay. But Bella was always okay, wasn't she? _With James? Conscience-less, child molester who has an intense need to get revenge on you? And on Bella for 'leaving him?'_

Alice, I remembered suddenly. Fuck. She was going to flip the Fuck out. I hooked my Bluetooth in, stunned to see how badly my hands were shaking. "Call Alice."

It rang twice. "Edward? Thank goodness... what the fuck is going on? Why does Jay need a gun, 'just in case?'"

"It's a long story- Um, the bottom line? I need you to wire me twenty grand."

"… what did you- what _happened_? You've been gone for less than-"

"Ali, please. Please don't fuck with me right now. I need you to-"

"Twenty thousand dollars, I heard. Let me check and see how I'm going to get that much to you. In Arizona." I heard the clicking of keys from a keyboard as she continued to mumble disbelieving comments. It was an oddly comforting sound. "Western Union only allows twenty thousand dollar transfers if you have a business. They need ID and papers that say where the money's coming from."

"Fuck. What about… Money something? They're like Western Union, but-"

"MoneyGram?" More keyboard sounds. "I can only send three thousand a day."

"Fuck!"

"I could use our bank account, but it'd take at least three or four days to get to you."

"PayPal?"

Shit. Fuck. PayPal was my last hope. No one in New York who owed me a favor could get money to me. My credit card would give me three thousand in cash. I couldn't withdraw sixteen thousand dollars from an ATM. They'd freeze my account before I got anywhere near a grand. Which wouldn't matter in the slightest because all of the money I had was useless! Plastic or otherwise, I was beyond fucked.

"Monthly transfer limit of ten thousand a month. There's a hold of three to four business days.

Fuck you PayPal. "Go max limit for any of the money transfer things I can pickup in the next few hours. Have them sent to a Receive station in Chandler, Arizona. I'll call you back in ten, okay?"

"Edward-"

"I'm safe, Alice. I promise. I'm handling things."

"…I love you."

I knew how much it took for her not to launch into me. She was worried, rightfully so. I hadn't exactly been delicate in asking for what I needed.

"Love you, too." It took me a second to realize that the call hadn't ended. I checked my phone, seconds were still ticking away. "Alice?"

"Yea?"

"Was there something else?"

"You sound upset, I didn't want to hang up on you. You hate that."

"Fuck me. I really love you, Alice."

"I love you, too. Call me back, okay? Please call me back, Edward."

"I will. I definitely will, I promise."

Saying goodbye gave this whole situation a tragic feeling. She would understand why I ended the call without saying it. My mind gave me two seconds before sending me into the beginning of true panic. Oh my fucking god, Bella was going to die because I was an asshole who hadn't brought money.

"Call Rosalie."

Alright. This was fine. It would be fine. I had three thousand in my suitcase, a thousand in my wallet. I could get nine hundred from the MoneyGram thing. If I used my card, I'd have three more. Twelve thousand to pull out of nowhere.

"Back already?"

"Do you have access to twelve thousand dollars?"

"I can get you five. The rest won't be available by the time we need to get Bella."

More silence.

"Rosalie-" I choked on the panic that rose into the back of my throat.

"I know one thing that might help... if it doesn't get _you_ killed."

"What would I be doing?"

"There's an underground fight tonight."

I remembered Bella mentioning something about... specifically _not_ going to the fight. She was worried it would rekindle the urge to test my fighting skill for money. My conscience raged, yelling at me with Alice's voice. "How much is in the pot?"

"Betting stood at nine grand to the winner, yesterday."

We only needed seven. "How do I enter?"

"Turn the fuck around. Now. If we're doing this, you have an hour to get in and be ready. You won't make it if you go all the way to Las Vegas."

"Fucking _bitch_!"

"Excuse me? Who the _fuck _d'you-"

"Not you," I interrupted hastily. "Fuck! Alright. Do you have someone trustworthy to pick up the papers for me? They've got to be there by five in the morning. Tell them to use the name Edward Brandon."

"That's more than enough time. Address?"

I read the destination while making a wide U-turn in the middle of the road.

"I'm on it, give me two minutes."

This was getting better and better. So much for being safe. But it was worth it. I needed both the money and the papers. Alice had helped all she could. Rosalie was going all out. Bella would, well, she would be with me soon… and I knew she would have done the same thing for me.

"Alright. You should actually pass them on your way back."

"How can you get me in on a scheduled fight?"

"I opted out of having a man in the fights. It's not just money that the victor wins, it's territory, too. When three of the main gang leaders here entered, they wagered more than just cash. If you're willing to represent our gang, small as it is, you'd be fighting for us. Is that okay with you?"

"What other choice is there?" I asked rationally. "What does it mean for you if I lose?"

"If you lose… all of us are out. Literally. Anyone entering risks their territory, which is why I didn't enter." Rosalie sounded nervous. Throughout these two entirely fucked up days, Rose had been steady and in control. She didn't waver in making a decision that would help Bella.

"The winner, if they win all, could come after you anyway. Might as well take the chance now, right? Unless you have a better fighter?"

"You're fighting for Bella's life. You think any of my guys have that spark under their ass?" Her tone was logical again, not nervous in the slightest. "I'll gather the information, you focus on getting here."

"You're sure you want to risk this?"

"Is there another choice?" Rose was putting a lot of faith in me. Little gangs, the winner would also get a huge rep increase if he took out all of his competition.

"What are the rules?"

"You've done this before," Rose remarked.

"Yes."

"No guns. That's the only rule. I don't know whose fighting, I'll try and get information on them."

"Thanks." Alice was calling me. Fuck.

"Get here. I'll make the call and get you in."

"See you in twenty."

Shit. Missed the call. I dialed the number myself, hung up when it went straight to voice-mail, waited long as my nerves could stand, and then called again.

"You said ten minutes. I don't mean to interrupt, but I have no idea what's going on. A lot can happen in ten minutes..."

"I know. I know it can. I'm okay, Alice. I was talking to Rose... I was just about to call you back."

"Why do you need twenty thousand dollars? Why, Edward? Can I help at all? What's going on?"

"Long story short?"

"Sure."

"Bella was taken by someone who wants twenty thousand dollars and a new identity in order to flee the country."

"Taken? She was-"

"Are you by yourself? No one can hear you, can they?"

"I'm not stupid, Edward."

"I wasn't- Sorry, it's been a stressful fucking few hours."

"A new identity?" Alice mused, "Aro! Your friend from New York, the one with all the gold teeth? He's got family all over the place. Can he help you with the identity thing?"

"… I called Aro. He's got a cousin that's helping me, here."

"You brought a ton of money with you. Rosalie, Bella's friend, is in a gang or something, right? That's where you made all of your money. She's got to have some stashed away somewhere. Between the two of you, you're covered, right?"

"Essentially, yes..."

"What does that mean?" Her voice went hard and flat, "Edward… you'd better not lie to me."

"You're sure you want to hear the truth?"

"... yes.."

"I'm short seven grand. There's this small fight thing that'll-"

"No."

"Alice-"

"No! Do you remember how many times- god_damnit_, Edward! I'll get the money to you. If I have to create twenty new identities for me, I'll get you the money through one of the money transfer things."

"And have it all be traced back to you? We'll all go to jail, Alice."

"Do you remember how many times you almost died?"

"I didn't, did I? Besides, I can't let you-"

"Go to jail? No? But it's okay _if you die?_"

When she put it like that… I couldn't think of anything logical to say. "I'll be back, Alice."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she repeated what I made her learn. "You'd better do it anyway, though. You need to be okay. I need to know that you're coming home and that you aren't going to be put in a ditch somewhere in the desert."

"Alice-"

"Promise me! Promise, or I'll be on the next flight-"

"You _can't_ come here." If James were to see Alice, I had no idea what would happen... but it would be really, really bad.

"I can do what I damn please, and, Edward? You're going to be _fighting_, how _dare_ you tell me-"

"That's not how I meant it! It'd be dangerous for you here. Please don't book any flights. I need to know that _you're_ safe, at least. I'm fucking losing it, Ali. If I don't know you're safe, at home with Jasper..."

"Then promise me that you'll be back."

"I promise," I replied. "I'm coming back with Bella and we'll tell you all about this massively cluster-fucked situation then."

"Call me before you fight, and after. Promise, Edward."

"I'll call, Alice. I swear it."

"Edward..." Her voice broke. "... please come home."

"... I'll call you, Ali. I promise. You'll hear from me in an hour or so."

I had to hang up, ignoring the way the road blurred for a few seconds. Now was not the time to let emotions take over. I let thoughts of Aro and his cousin go as I pushed the car back to one hundred mph. Getting Alice out of my head wasn't as easy. The car shook at one-fifteen and I dropped it back to a steady one-ten. James was the cause for all of this, I gripped the steering wheel and took deep breaths. I was going to kill him for it.

**Authors End Note-  
**A year later+ I finally have another chapter done. Sorry, all, it's been a crazy year. Lots of personal writing done, though, which I can't apologize for. I do apologize that it's been such a long time since I updated. Thanks to anyone who put me on their Favorites or Watch List. I hope to see reviewers return, new people who find the story and like it.

**Authors End Note 2:  
TwiFox- **  
^_^ Very high compliments from you!  
**Bearygirl, katelyndc, tiffanyashm, 1dreamkeeper, clumsylamb, MrsJasperWhitlock2009, Sauntfudge, EdwardsBrunette2, DiniaSteel, Frances, Biggestsmile, Soccormom101113, Joanna, Mistre11, Smilingchrissy, TheRealMC, DarnDustBunnies, Twinmomma, Enn1901, Malia81167, Manor88, PencilCase, Shiba-san**- I'm sorry that I didn't write back to all of you. I love all of your reviews and hope to hear from you again. I recognize a lot of names and I'll try to be more thorough in my replies for the next chapter! (Which should definitely be less than a year in happening.)**  
19Casey94-  
**That's coming, next chapter. I'm not sure when Edward's going to meet Phil, but I do plan on tying all the loose ends in HB soon as I can. Thank you for your reviews!  
**Ltlnbrt-  
**Jamie's in. Haha. In big ways soon. Rosalie is a lot of fun to write. I like her as a character a lot. Thanks for reviewing! I hope to see you for Chapter 51..  
**LaPumuckl-  
**Thanks for PM'ing, =). The Rosalie-and-Emmett visit Forks idea didn't pan out. At least not yet anyway. Bella is a fire bug, haha. Fire is fun when its contained-ish, =p.

Thank you for reviewing. I like writing back to them, and yours are great! Thanks for pointing that out. I think I went back and fixed that, I'll check. Jamie and James are the same person, yes. I don't think it'll end in two chapters. Maybe four... I have a lot that I want to address, plus a chapter or two that ties everything in. =)  
**DreamQuill-  
**Thank you! Having Emmett around amuses me because... he really has no idea what to do, but he's ready to do anything he can to help. He's an all-around good guy, wanting to protect Rose. And he keeps getting thrown into bad situations, haha. Makes me happy that he doesn't run.  
**Carlisle's-nose-extension-  
**Your s/n always makes me smile. Confrontation is definitely coming. I don't know how, or how it's going to go down, but... I want it to be good. Lol.  
**PBJilly-  
**Your reviews are never crappy. I had a dentist appointment a few days ago. I know yours was last December. Lolol. Nitrous is fun? It's been so long since I updated HB. I need to go back and edit them all again. I've learned more writing-wise. As for your question about whether people actually live that way... In my experience, maybe not so severely, but... yes? Lol. My high-school wasn't a fun place to be. Life has calmed down a lot for me, but instincts I learned during those years are still with me. It makes me see 'normal' people a different way, though I could be considered relatively 'normal' at this point, too. Moving out of the area helped a lot, too. HB was my way of... I don't know, getting all the rage and frustration from those years out... moving on, etc, though I didn't face nearly as much as my E and B do in HB.  
**Mysticfighter111-  
**James is back, yup! The suits following him are probably guards of some kind- who failed- to keep him from doing what he's done. I'm not sure whether Victoria will play any further role in the story. I hope to see you in Chapter 51!  
**Vtweetymccn-  
**Wow, it's been a long time. How have you been? Christmas is right around the corner again. Seeing commercials in October for X-mas depressed me. Lol. Edward might meet Phil. I can't see why he wouldn't. In Chapter 52, maybe? The wind-down...  
**LunarSkky-  
**Rosalie went above and beyond in this chapter. Sorry for the long update time...  
**Supersaiyan909-  
**Wow, long review. Thank you! I'm happy you decided to check out HB. =). I enjoy writing lemons, but I didn't want it to become a smut fic. That's 'Switches,' haha. I love reviewers. They motivate me to write, and write better. Thank you again for yours. Made my day, =D.  
**TeamEdwardgirl1-  
**Nope, I purposefully used 'Jamie' in relation to Bella and 'James' for Edward and Alice. I wasn't sure if they would be the same person, but it worked out the way I wanted. Lol. I just have to figure out what happened to him during those months that brought him from FL to AZ..  
**Cina's-  
**I have a lot of editing to do. I've got to fix Edward's age, possibly Alice's. Jamie and Edward would be the same age. I should have made a time-line. That's next on my list of things to do. Lol.  
**BellaLove14-  
**You've read it more than once? Wow. Thank you! There are sick and twisted people in the world, =/. In HB I get to beat them, lolol. I'll definitely be adding more pictures. I love finding them.  
**AngelaLuvsFanfic-  
**Thank you so much, especially for rec'ing it to people! Your compliments were very kind. Thanks again, Angela! I hope to hear from you again.  
**Fliberty-  
**Hi! E and Rose are alpha types, but Edward is capable of being rational. Not to mention, he wouldn't do well in fighting a chick. I couldn't have them hate one another. Rose needed a little time to make up her mind. You called it on the subconscious remembering. That's what I was going for, =). In his dream, too, somehow knowing Bella needed help.  
**Flowerboxx-  
**I remember when I could update once a week. I want those days back. Lol. Energy was so good all of the time. 'sigh. I've been trying to put together a second story. I might, but I have to finish this one first. The second would be college, yes. Or the summer before college started. All of HB takes place from September to November. A lot happened in two-three months, lol. From June to late August could be fun to write.  
**Shay114-  
**Thank you so much for your review! I hope to be published soon. I've been working on a few other stories, but... HB got everything. Lol. Jake is definitely not interested in Bella. He might have been, yet now they're nothing but friends. He respects her, and how could he not? I respect my Bella, too. Lol. Edward more, and I wouldn't want to go up against him. Thank you, thank you! A lot for recommending it to people. =D.  
**EdwardCullen3-  
**Your review was amazing. Thank you!  
**Fantasy0506-  
**Hey, Janine! Thanks! =).  
I understood what you wrote and I can understand why you wouldn't be searching for dominance or submission. Feeling strains of sadism in a rational and good-natured person, strange as that sounds, is exciting to me. To submit, I need to know that they won't lose it, or get the sense that they want to hurt me in ways I don't want to be hurt. I wanted to find someone stronger, who I won't try to manipulate... and I trust him because there's reason to. The sense of self isn't obliterated, at least not in my case. My life-me tends to run rampant, aggressive instead of submissive. My need for pain can rise and make me short with people, looking for excuses to release the energy in dangerous ways. Ways that aren't dangerous when I channel it into s/m. It's muted for a while with him. I always know who I am, the limits I've set. From what you wrote, you were surrounded by enforced submission. Breathing time, adjusting to life away from that is a good thing. =)  
Thank you for the apostrophe advice. I've always had problems with them. And comma use. I'll try to fix that when I go back to edit.  
**Subscribed-vibes-  
**Agreed! Thanks for the compliment! Send me a link and I'll check it out, =D. What do you mean by backspace? I haven't been able to find any way to post links without using the..  
**Guest Maggie-  
**I hate being repetitive in reviews, but... thank you so much! It was February when you reviewed, but I hope to hear from you again! The other stories make me cringe, lol. Switches and Subs is the only other recent fic. The others are from years ago, before I knew grammar rules for writing... ugh. HB is the longest story I've ever written. Purging, for the win? Thank you so much, again, for your review!  
**Firebird125-  
**I love hearing the word 'real' and 'human' in reviews. Means I'm doing my job. =D. You feel toughness from Alice? That's not something I've heard before. I love her character. It makes writing Protective-Edward easier. She's sweet. Thank you for what you wrote, =).  
**Jansails-  
**When Edward worries without a ready resolution, he doesn't stop. Lol. He's very focused. I love what you wrote. Very poetic. I had to have him sleep. While he could have maintained the intensity, I don't think he would be as sound-minded.  
**SLCKerouac-  
**Awesome screen name. I love the Beat writers! All your questions will be answered soon. The story is almost at an end. A few more chapters should do it!  
**Moonhoney2-  
**I know the ages are confusing. I didn't plan that out well when I first started writing. Even half-way through, I hadn't admitted how serious the story had become. It wasn't, originally, just a way to vent about memories. Catharsis, in other words. Then the plot took off. I'll be editing to clear up all the confusion. The only thing I disagree with you about is the HS-mindset comment. I was a bookworm. The people I found and made friends with didn't have great stories, though they weren't 'bad.' Seeing the way they were and hearing the stories about why they became that way helped change the way I thought about life. What a wake-up call. Lol. It's funny you say they should be in a college setting. It's all about the area. My HS didn't have cliques, they had gangs and colors one should be aware of. That's not the normal HS experience, I've learned. Hahaha. Thank you for your review! You gave me a lot to watch out for when I go back to edit. =).  
**FebruaryTwilight-  
**Your first review ever? I'm honored. Thank you so much! I definitely plan to finish both HB and SnS. You can check my blog for more writing by me: .com. Lots of s/m stuff...


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